Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Newandneedhelp · Newandneedhelp

3.5 years ago we had a family tragedy and my husband began binge-drinking, for days at a time. To say it was devastating is an understatement. I felt so ashamed and so alone. In my public life, I'm a strong, independent career woman in a male-dominated field. I was so afraid that if anyone knew, their opi...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

The author of todays Hope for Today page asks us to give thought to our expectations of Serenity and the AlAnon program. Specifically, towards what the program can do for us, and of equal importance, what it does not. According to the author:AlAnon Does Not · * Provide a magical escape from our...

Ladylissa · Ladylissa

My father did fall off the wagon but supposly he stopped drinking. I haven't been able to bring myself to a meeting. Before I got to talk to him my husband is still angry at my father. Which I can understand. He is still want to pursue a PFA on my father. I think he is upset that I won't do one. What my father did...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I was in a panic/fear mode the last few days wondering if my AH was dead. I checked on him last night and fed the dogs and gave them water. He was in a drunken stupor, he ended up calling 911 and going to the hospital with a BAC of .24! The hospital called me, since he is still on my insurance. We are not divorced...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 21st speaks about the Seventh Step where we Humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings. The reading .points out that" humbly" simply means that we calmly ask HP, and that we don't demand and we don't make numerous requests. We simply accept our place in our relationship to ...

El · El

So, I have been working very hard to watch what I say, how I say it, and to just ignore comments or negativity that come my way from my AH. A couple of times I have defended myself by calming stating that a comment of his was hurtful or unnecessary. My AH has responded very positively to my new attitude an...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Hugs, I really just wanted to stop and say it really does get better in the least expected ways .. I have made beautiful friends, found a part of who I am, all of who I am? Not so much .. LOL .. I'm working on that part of the deal. I haven't been attending meetings and I should find a book study at least and I al...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

AH is getting used to my recovery-minded ways. I realized he comes to me asking permission for things. In the past I judged him and got angry when he made choices for himself - even little things like choosing to buy new clothes, or taking a nap instead of going for a walk with me. I'm learning to let it go, l...

Ezbreeze62 · Ezbreeze62

This feeling of wanting to run to my son and 'fix' it is so overwhelming! I'm in a different state and I've just found out that he's probably using again. I feel so helpless and I understand that I AM helpless...I just don't know how to deal with this overwhelming PAIN and FRUSTRATION!!! I've been prayin...

Sundae · Sundae

My boyfriend and I have been together 10 years, we have no kids, but we have lived together since almost the beginning. We both drink, but the past couple of years his drinking has increased whereas mine has decreased. He gets emotional and frustrated about politics and people in his life, he

Teddybear1 · Teddybear1

Hi, just neede a bit of support. I've been married for 21 years, together for 28. My husband is what I understand to be a functioning alcoholic - company director, big salary, popular nice guy. Lovely home, two grown up kids. We both drank socially for a number of years when we met but in later years di...

Shawnie · Shawnie

I am brand new here and absorbing information like a sponge this morning. April 24 - I "came out of the closet" you could say. My AH of 23 years crossed the line on drinking -I have had it. I told him that I was done - I am so angry, tired, fed up, hurt, broken due to this disease and everything else on my plat...

Newandneedhelp · Newandneedhelp

3.5 years ago we had a family tragedy and my husband began binge-drinking, for days at a time. To say it was devastating is an understatement. I felt so ashamed and so alone. In my public life, I'm a strong, independent career woman in a male-dominated field. I was so afraid that if anyone knew, their opi...

sweetness34 · sweetness34

It's been a really tough week for me. It's been dark, grey, rainy and dismal, and that is parallel with my emotions this week. There has been a huge awakening for me the past few days. I've realized that, not only was I enabling my AH for many, many years, but I was doing the same with my children. My 23 year o...

el-cee · el-cee

My relationship with my ex ah was an intense, codependant nightmare. No doubt. It was also exciting in some respects, I never knew waht was coming and of course I got addicted to the drama buzz, the excited misery. Now I have this nice normal kind of relationship going on for about a year now and for some r...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm feeling lost here ,I guess for one thing I've been away from here for seems weeks,I can sure tell it to cause without working my program coming here meetings I'm very lost indeed .but now I'm back so now I can get myself back to where it was and move forward,makes sense to me anyway.point I'm really get...

rt · rt

Hello, everyone... I posted on here briefly over a year ago, and I guess I kind of stopped, because I went back into denial of my husband's drinking. A couple months after I last posted on here, he actually was involved in a drunk driving accident (no one else was involved, FYI), and he had to go to jail fo...

Dlove · Dlove

I am new here and need help...(First Post)I met my husband when he had been sober for a year. To support him, I decided to stop drinking socially. We have 3 kids together (11, 7, and 7 months old). He had been sober for 13 years and About a year ago he got a job as a DJ at a bar where all of his old (drinking) frien...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Good morning all, and best wishes to IamHere as she enjoys the beauty of the desert and temporary disruption of electronic connectivity. In her absence, I will share some brief thoughts about today's reading in Courage to Change. The reading touches on a fundamental AlAnon principle: the value of k...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I feel like the shorter the better. I am guilty of going on & on endlessly w o any sense sometimes. All of you all keep on posting. I just feel so far behind reading your posts. You definitely have a lot to say. Me I will keep it simple & say have a great day! Take a little time to enjoy the view & sme...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

My AH lives alone in a big house that I moved out of 2 years ago. He has chosen not to pay the mortgage since I left him. I warned him multiple times I was leaving if the drinking didn't stop. So I finally left. He was fired from his job 2 years ago also. Our home is now in foreclosure, it is set to go up for auction...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I've just spent 24 hours with ..He Who Must Not Be Named? I can't comfortably call him "A". It just feels wrong to me now that I'm not angry with him all the time. In life I mostly call him Your Majesty which I find disproportionately hilarious. It's been almost 3 months since we last saw each other which h...

z88174 · z88174

My BF and I haven\t really been together all that long...a little over a year. He was a highly functioning alcoholic since the beginning of our relationship and when I finally decided to leave because of it, he promised to go to AA and get counselling etc... I wasn't sure what to make of all of these pro...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well today was certainly not what I had planned! Last night I handed in 2 assignments; I have done so many assignments in the last 4 weeks or so that the thought of any more makes me want to cry. The positive news is, for this semester I have only 3 more to do (fairly easy ones) and nothing due for 2 weeks now,...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c points out that life cannot always go smoothly and that we al-anoners tend to keep our frustrations inside rather than argue, letting them fester and making us irritable and unreasonable. It discusses the value of facing adversity and expressing feelings or tackling problems and that...

missmeliss · missmeliss

There are currently police and fire trucks in my street and a horrific smell. Someone set the neighbour's car on fire. There has been a spree of destruction lately not just in my area but across the state; particular gangs near me have been torching cars, smashing windscreens, attacking pets, just ra...

Ladylissa · Ladylissa

Hello everyone. I'm new to this board. My father has been sober for 5 years and just fell off the wagon tonight. He call my house and started some drama with my husband and grandmother, thrn he blames,me. I'm just heart broken

gabigail · gabigail

Hi everyone. After removing myself from the drama of an alcoholic home and then coming back to a sober spouse for a few days, I have to admit tonight I'm not doing so well. I have noticed that my A has been short and condescending since I came home and without the alcohol to make her tolerate me and being civ...

Huey · Huey

Hi All, the german 12 steps forum has been closed so I was looking for another platform for going on writing. A few weeks ago I moved from a city to a small village and had a lot of issues, but neither I had the time to write, nor the platform for doing this. So I felt a break in my history (the move) and a break i...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

If I knew, then I could make a decision and stick with it. If I knew, with 100% certainly, I could either stay or go, as I planned. Instead, I'm left wondering, and crying, and sad, and tired, and unsure of everything. I found a bottle, an almost full one. He was gone at the time. I threw some crap in a bag...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My keyboard on my tablet changed today & I don't like it! It is like a white-out & it used to be black. That has nothing to do w recovery but I am miffed. I won't let it ruin my day. Just something to get used to. Blah blah blah.

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Today's reading is about the many layers and variations of denial. We can be in denial about the disease of alcoholism, denial of pain, denial in order to block feeling. The quote from Courage to Change reminds us that 'denial is a symptom of the effects of alcoholism' For me,...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

I am really trying to slow myself down. I found a scrap of paper with a woman's name, phone number and email address on it. It was clearly AH's handwriting and was tucked away but not exactly hidden. In the past he had a membership on a dating site "to meet friends" and talked with women on twitter who pos...

joker · joker

Well, I did it. I left the house. I barely was able to walk away. I grabbed a basket of things, change of clothes, my computer and medications and ran out the door. He was flipping on me. Today is Friday and Monday night he put a steak knife to my neck. I did talk to people about it in an al-anon meeting that eve...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Hello my friends! I have a rather personal issue I wish to address and discuss, if anyone is willing. I realize everyone is different so I will completely understand if no one has had the experience (or is willing to discuss it). Background: My RAH of 20 + years married and 36 + years drinking (started...

LinSC · LinSC

Well I have realized that after 25 years of being co-dependent and enabling my son to drink and drug, I have still not recovered from the trauma and hurt and regret of all those years. My son does not drink or drug anymore now for about 5 years, has a beautiful wife and child and seems to be happy. I realiz...

LinSC · LinSC

when your loved one gets sober, mother, brother, father, sister ,daughter, son. Have you forgiven them for all the damage that they have done and have u forgiven yourself for the enabling you did that you were totally unaware you were doing? How is the relationship today is it bruised, will it ever be t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Today is just a typical day. I seem to have trouble concentrating & focusing. I just realized not too long ago what concentrating means. I am not a dictionary & don't have a real command of the English language. My basic intelligence comes from my memory. I did well before as long as I could memo...

lookingup · lookingup

I never really understood what a martyr is in alanon can someone help me with this ? And how it's used? ...........hugs Lu

jiff · jiff

Hi ... I am in need of some sort of perspective and found this message board and decided to post to get a little insight and advice. My partner is going on their second year in recovery. Things this week have been a little unsettling and as a result of a conversation we had last night, they revealed to me, th...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c speaks of tradition 8, and reminds us that we are a fellowship of equals; no-one is in charge and no-one can profess to be an expert in al-anon. The reading also suggests that al-anon has a fairly specific purpose- to assist with recovery from the effects of someone else's drinking. It cann...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Hello all! After much thought and consideration, I have decided to give myself another chance by going back to ftf meetings locally (well 30 miles or so one way). I have been fooling myself, I think, because I went so long ago and didn't "gel" with the others there. This was not truly my bottom, as I stay...

bigsmitty · bigsmitty

Hi, somewhat new to alanon (call it four months) and 4 years into aa. Attend about 3 aa meetings a week and one alanon. I have been able to find lots of aa literature online and am looking for direction into a central site for alanon literature. Thanks, aa has done wonders and alanon is helping lots as well...

El · El

This isn't directly related to alcohol, but we know that the program can help in all areas of our lives. I am so irked at someone's response or lack of one that I am trying to decide if my motives were selfish or the other person was just plain rude. See, now the program is making me examine my own behavior...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 15 speaks about entering Al-Anon and discovering the warmth and caring found within the rooms. It points out the people in Al-Anon have learned a non judgmental patient way of life and even though you don't like their hugs and walk away,they keep inviting us come back , They r...

andromeda · andromeda

I PM'd a few of my personal friends here at MIP but I thought I would throw this out to the group and ask for some words of support and wisdom. My bf and I will be living together soon and his ex-wife just now decided to say something about her concerns: specifically about her 2 young girls living with my 17 ye...

joker · joker

The images of the alcoholic drinking and the violence I experienced keeps going through my mind over and over again. I hate alcohol so much right now and how it has destroyed my life and my home. I keep thinking omg, omg, he had put a steak knife to my neck, and was screaming and screaming at me and calling m...

RKTreats · RKTreats

I posted on here last night about my beginnings in this Al-Anon journey. I've been very anxious because now that my Abf is working on getting sober (30 days), attending AA meetings regularly and going through OP rehab counseling, he seems to be pushing me away so he can work on himself. He is trying to co...

hotrod · hotrod

Step 9 posted to the: Step Work BoardWhere we discuss each of the Twelve StepsIn the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps o...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Ok .. I move to Texas thinking that it will mellow my life out and it is absolutely decided that it doesn't. Now thank GOD I'm not an A because this is stone cold sober I can't imagine the crap that would happen if I was drunk and out of control. Now I'm terribly warped and the best people I know their edges ar...

jilld30 · jilld30

Hi friends. Just need to share what happened tonight. I made the foolish mistake of telling my drunk husband that he behaved badly when he drank. He had drunk half a liter of whisky in just a few hours and was rude. I was accused of throwing attitude and he called me a f***king b*tch in front of our 6 year old...

RKTreats · RKTreats

I posted another message somewhere, but can't seem to find it. I have been in a "relationship" with someone I met online over a year ago. We clicked from the get-go. He told me he was a recovering alcoholic, after I had fallen head over heels for him. What I didn't know, was he was still drinking. Accord...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 14 speaks about Al-Anon recovery, being a discipline. The reading points out that this discipline requires diligence, patience and consistency for the best results. Regular attendance at meetings, working the steps and applying the Al-Anon principles every part of the da...

mb2016 · mb2016

Hi, I am new here- and am so glad I found this forum. Basically, I am here because I have a fear that my husband will become an alcoholic. I don't think he is one yet, but I worry about his drinking patterns and family history (his mom and sister are recovering alcoholics). So I find myself counting his dri...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My mom found out today that she has skin cancer on her face in more than one place. I just hope & pray that it doesn't get worse. Prayers for good news that they can get it all.

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

This is a song that comes up every now & then. I feel pretty much this way right now. I am so glad that I am experiencing a beautiful day today. The sun is shining & I feel the wind on my face. It is so nice to take a walk & not feel like I am in so much pain that I can hardly stand it. But there is always s...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses decision making and how the program changes us and that process. For many of us, coming to Al-Anon and practicing the program helps us make our choices more conscientiously. We do the necessary footwork to research our choices, decide and then leave the results up to our...

andromeda · andromeda

I am going to be moving in with my new man and his two little girls at the end of the month. And his dog. And his cat, lol! I hate moving. Let's just get that on the table. And, I just helped my guy move over the past few months, as well, and I truly am tired of packing and unpacking boxes. On the flip side; this...

Desperateinnyc · Desperateinnyc

This is my first time here..I wanted to find a place where I could talk to others who know what it is like to live with and love an alcoholic. My fiancé has always drank...a lot. For the first few years I noticed it, but it wasn't really disturbing, he didn't morph into a monster. Now, I realize alcoholism i...

Moondancer1962 · Moondancer1962

Hello everyone:) I'm new and so grateful to find this site! I'm 26 years sober, a double-winner in Al Anon and AA. I'm divorced, with three adult children, all living at home with me now. I definitely have a full plate with them..my oldest daughter, 32, is mentally disabled, my son, 33, just got paroled...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Hopeless (Preview) 3.5 years ago we had a family tragedy and my husband began binge-drinking, for days at a time. To say it was devastating is an understatement. I felt so ashamed and so alone. In my public life, I'm a strong, independent career woman in a male-dominated field. I was so afraid that if anyone knew, their opi...	Newandneedhelp	6	696	May 22, 2016 by Jerry F
	Hope for Today 5-20 ~ What Alanon Does, and Does Not Do for Us (Preview) The author of todays Hope for Today page asks us to give thought to our expectations of Serenity and the AlAnon program. Specifically, towards what the program can do for us, and of equal importance, what it does not. According to the author:AlAnon Does Not · * Provide a magical escape from our...	Enigmatic	9	737	May 22, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Update sort of (Preview) My father did fall off the wagon but supposly he stopped drinking. I haven't been able to bring myself to a meeting. Before I got to talk to him my husband is still angry at my father. Which I can understand. He is still want to pursue a PFA on my father. I think he is upset that I won't do one. What my father did...	Ladylissa	1	460	May 22, 2016 by hotrod
	Feeling dumb for caring! (Preview) I was in a panic/fear mode the last few days wondering if my AH was dead. I checked on him last night and fed the dogs and gave them water. He was in a drunken stupor, he ended up calling 911 and going to the hospital with a BAC of .24! The hospital called me, since he is still on my insurance. We are not divorced...	Newlife girl	6	720	May 21, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage to Change Reading 5-21-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 21st speaks about the Seventh Step where we *Humbly ask* Him to remove our shortcomings. The reading .points out that" humbly" simply means that we calmly ask HP, and that we don't demand and we don't make numerous requests. We simply accept our place in our relationship to ...	hotrod	3	838	May 21, 2016 by Rinn
	Sensitivity (Preview) So, I have been working very hard to watch what I say, how I say it, and to just ignore comments or negativity that come my way from my AH. A couple of times I have defended myself by calming stating that a comment of his was hurtful or unnecessary. My AH has responded very positively to my new attitude an...	El	19	884	May 21, 2016 by El
	My crazy journey (Preview) Hugs, I really just wanted to stop and say it really does get better in the least expected ways .. I have made beautiful friends, found a part of who I am, all of who I am? Not so much .. LOL .. I'm working on that part of the deal. I haven't been attending meetings and I should find a book study at least and I al...	SerenityRUS	1	520	May 21, 2016 by Mirandac
	My side of the street (Preview) AH is getting used to my recovery-minded ways. I realized he comes to me asking permission for things. In the past I judged him and got angry when he made choices for himself - even little things like choosing to buy new clothes, or taking a nap instead of going for a walk with me. I'm learning to let it go, l...	Taraxacum	4	644	May 21, 2016 by Mirandac
	I just cant. (Preview) This feeling of wanting to run to my son and 'fix' it is so overwhelming! I'm in a different state and I've just found out that he's probably using again. I feel so helpless and I understand that I AM helpless...I just don't know how to deal with this overwhelming PAIN and FRUSTRATION!!! I've been prayin...	Ezbreeze62	9	702	May 21, 2016 by Ezbreeze62
	I just confronted my long term boyfriend about his drinking (Preview) My boyfriend and I have been together 10 years, we have no kids, but we have lived together since almost the beginning. We both drink, but the past couple of years his drinking has increased whereas mine has decreased. He gets emotional and frustrated about politics and people in his life, he	Sundae	1	561	May 20, 2016 by hotrod
	Help with functioning alcoholic (Preview) Hi, just neede a bit of support. I've been married for 21 years, together for 28. My husband is what I understand to be a functioning alcoholic - company director, big salary, popular nice guy. Lovely home, two grown up kids. We both drank socially for a number of years when we met but in later years di...	Teddybear1	4	2393	May 20, 2016 by Shawnie
	Have I waited too long boundaries anger repeatng the cycle new (Preview) I am brand new here and absorbing information like a sponge this morning. April 24 - I "came out of the closet" you could say. My AH of 23 years crossed the line on drinking -I have had it. I told him that I was done - I am so angry, tired, fed up, hurt, broken due to this disease and everything else on my plat...	Shawnie	9	9985	May 20, 2016 by Shawnie
	Hopeless (Preview) 3.5 years ago we had a family tragedy and my husband began binge-drinking, for days at a time. To say it was devastating is an understatement. I felt so ashamed and so alone. In my public life, I'm a strong, independent career woman in a male-dominated field. I was so afraid that if anyone knew, their opi...	Newandneedhelp	1	574	May 20, 2016 by hotrod
	The sun is shining (Preview) It's been a really tough week for me. It's been dark, grey, rainy and dismal, and that is parallel with my emotions this week. There has been a huge awakening for me the past few days. I've realized that, not only was I enabling my AH for many, many years, but I was doing the same with my children. My 23 year o...	sweetness34	5	624	May 20, 2016 by missmeliss
	Healthy annoys me (Preview) My relationship with my ex ah was an intense, codependant nightmare. No doubt. It was also exciting in some respects, I never knew waht was coming and of course I got addicted to the drama buzz, the excited misery. Now I have this nice normal kind of relationship going on for about a year now and for some r...	el-cee	17	812	May 20, 2016 by CyndiODAT
	Courtesy and respecting (Preview) I'm feeling lost here ,I guess for one thing I've been away from here for seems weeks,I can sure tell it to cause without working my program coming here meetings I'm very lost indeed .but now I'm back so now I can get myself back to where it was and move forward,makes sense to me anyway.point I'm really get...	lookingup	6	662	May 20, 2016 by lookingup
	Will I be able to do this???? How?! (Preview) Hello, everyone... I posted on here briefly over a year ago, and I guess I kind of stopped, because I went back into denial of my husband's drinking. A couple months after I last posted on here, he actually was involved in a drunk driving accident (no one else was involved, FYI), and he had to go to jail fo...	rt	16	826	May 20, 2016 by rt
	My husband relapsed after 13 years sober and I feel like I'm going crazy. (Preview) I am new here and need help...(First Post)I met my husband when he had been sober for a year. To support him, I decided to stop drinking socially. We have 3 kids together (11, 7, and 7 months old). He had been sober for 13 years and About a year ago he got a job as a DJ at a bar where all of his old (drinking) frien...	Dlove	16	954	May 20, 2016 by hotrod
	C2C 5-19 (Preview) Good morning all, and best wishes to IamHere as she enjoys the beauty of the desert and temporary disruption of electronic connectivity. In her absence, I will share some brief thoughts about today's reading in Courage to Change. The reading touches on a fundamental AlAnon principle: the value of k...	Enigmatic	4	598	May 19, 2016 by Enigmatic
	I like short posts(easier for me) (Preview) I feel like the shorter the better. I am guilty of going on & on endlessly w o any sense sometimes. All of you all keep on posting. I just feel so far behind reading your posts. You definitely have a lot to say. Me I will keep it simple & say have a great day! Take a little time to enjoy the view & sme...	Hoot Nanny	1	532	May 19, 2016 by hotrod
	5150? Please help. Need quick answers and support please! (Preview) My AH lives alone in a big house that I moved out of 2 years ago. He has chosen not to pay the mortgage since I left him. I warned him multiple times I was leaving if the drinking didn't stop. So I finally left. He was fired from his job 2 years ago also. Our home is now in foreclosure, it is set to go up for auction...	Newlife girl	12	2453	May 19, 2016 by Jerry F
	Blah blah (Preview) I've just spent 24 hours with ..He Who Must Not Be Named? I can't comfortably call him "A". It just feels wrong to me now that I'm not angry with him all the time. In life I mostly call him Your Majesty which I find disproportionately hilarious. It's been almost 3 months since we last saw each other which h...	missmeliss	5	716	May 19, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Is he not dealing with his issues? (Preview) My BF and I haven\t really been together all that long...a little over a year. He was a highly functioning alcoholic since the beginning of our relationship and when I finally decided to leave because of it, he promised to go to AA and get counselling etc... I wasn't sure what to make of all of these pro...	z88174	9	710	May 19, 2016 by CyndiODAT
	All of my old blah blah (Preview) Well today was certainly not what I had planned! Last night I handed in 2 assignments; I have done so many assignments in the last 4 weeks or so that the thought of any more makes me want to cry. The positive news is, for this semester I have only 3 more to do (fairly easy ones) and nothing due for 2 weeks now,...	missmeliss	9	684	May 19, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Courage to Change 18/5 (Preview) Today's c2c points out that life cannot always go smoothly and that we al-anoners tend to keep our frustrations inside rather than argue, letting them fester and making us irritable and unreasonable. It discusses the value of facing adversity and expressing feelings or tackling problems and that...	missmeliss	5	595	May 19, 2016 by missmeliss
	Gah. (Preview) There are currently police and fire trucks in my street and a horrific smell. Someone set the neighbour's car on fire. There has been a spree of destruction lately not just in my area but across the state; particular gangs near me have been torching cars, smashing windscreens, attacking pets, just ra...	missmeliss	4	653	May 18, 2016 by maryjane
	Fell off the wagon (Preview) Hello everyone. I'm new to this board. My father has been sober for 5 years and just fell off the wagon tonight. He call my house and started some drama with my husband and grandmother, thrn he blames,me. I'm just heart broken	Ladylissa	4	873	May 18, 2016 by Mirandac
	Not having a good day- new to this (Preview) Hi everyone. After removing myself from the drama of an alcoholic home and then coming back to a sober spouse for a few days, I have to admit tonight I'm not doing so well. I have noticed that my A has been short and condescending since I came home and without the alcohol to make her tolerate me and being civ...	gabigail	2	630	May 18, 2016 by Mirandac
	New here (Preview) Hi All, the german 12 steps forum has been closed so I was looking for another platform for going on writing. A few weeks ago I moved from a city to a small village and had a lot of issues, but neither I had the time to write, nor the platform for doing this. So I felt a break in my history (the move) and a break i...	Huey	5	715	May 18, 2016 by hotrod
	I just wish I knew for certain (Preview) If I knew, then I could make a decision and stick with it. If I knew, with 100% certainly, I could either stay or go, as I planned. Instead, I'm left wondering, and crying, and sad, and tired, and unsure of everything. I found a bottle, an almost full one. He was gone at the time. I threw some crap in a bag...	SpiderArcana	6	839	May 17, 2016 by Mattie
	I don't like change! (Preview) My keyboard on my tablet changed today & I don't like it! It is like a white-out & it used to be black. That has nothing to do w recovery but I am miffed. I won't let it ruin my day. Just something to get used to. Blah blah blah.	Hoot Nanny	1	486	May 17, 2016 by Mirandac
	Hope for Today May 17 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Today's reading is about the many layers and variations of denial. We can be in denial about the disease of alcoholism, denial of pain, denial in order to block feeling. The quote from Courage to Change reminds us that 'denial is a symptom of the effects of alcoholism' For me,...	yanksfan51	5	658	May 17, 2016 by sweetness34
	Facing my own shaddows, fears of infidelity (Preview) I am really trying to slow myself down. I found a scrap of paper with a woman's name, phone number and email address on it. It was clearly AH's handwriting and was tucked away but not exactly hidden. In the past he had a membership on a dating site "to meet friends" and talked with women on twitter who pos...	Taraxacum	11	728	May 17, 2016 by Mirandac
	update (Preview) Well, I did it. I left the house. I barely was able to walk away. I grabbed a basket of things, change of clothes, my computer and medications and ran out the door. He was flipping on me. Today is Friday and Monday night he put a steak knife to my neck. I did talk to people about it in an al-anon meeting that eve...	joker	8	694	May 17, 2016 by KT2015
	Question for those whose long term AH got sober - adult theme mentioned (Preview) Hello my friends! I have a rather personal issue I wish to address and discuss, if anyone is willing. I realize everyone is different so I will completely understand if no one has had the experience (or is willing to discuss it). Background: My RAH of 20 + years married and 36 + years drinking (started...	Doingmybest	9	867	May 17, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	Still doesnt feel right ....... (Preview) Well I have realized that after 25 years of being co-dependent and enabling my son to drink and drug, I have still not recovered from the trauma and hurt and regret of all those years. My son does not drink or drug anymore now for about 5 years, has a beautiful wife and child and seems to be happy. I realiz...	LinSC	6	688	May 17, 2016 by el-cee
	R u still resentful? (Preview) when your loved one gets sober, mother, brother, father, sister ,daughter, son. Have you forgiven them for all the damage that they have done and have u forgiven yourself for the enabling you did that you were totally unaware you were doing? How is the relationship today is it bruised, will it ever be t...	LinSC	4	598	May 17, 2016 by el-cee
	concentrate & focus. (Preview) Today is just a typical day. I seem to have trouble concentrating & focusing. I just realized not too long ago what concentrating means. I am not a dictionary & don't have a real command of the English language. My basic intelligence comes from my memory. I did well before as long as I could memo...	Hoot Nanny	2	630	May 16, 2016 by tiredtonite
	Martyr ???? (Preview) I never really understood what a martyr is in alanon can someone help me with this ? And how it's used? ...........hugs Lu	lookingup	8	4242	May 16, 2016 by lookingup
	Need Some Advice, Please (Preview) Hi ... I am in need of some sort of perspective and found this message board and decided to post to get a little insight and advice. My partner is going on their second year in recovery. Things this week have been a little unsettling and as a result of a conversation we had last night, they revealed to me, th...	jiff	1	549	May 16, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage To Change 16/5 (Preview) Today's c2c speaks of tradition 8, and reminds us that we are a fellowship of equals; no-one is in charge and no-one can profess to be an expert in al-anon. The reading also suggests that al-anon has a fairly specific purpose- to assist with recovery from the effects of someone else's drinking. It cann...	missmeliss	3	581	May 16, 2016 by lookingup
	I think it is time To reassess myself. (Preview) Hello all! After much thought and consideration, I have decided to give myself another chance by going back to ftf meetings locally (well 30 miles or so one way). I have been fooling myself, I think, because I went so long ago and didn't "gel" with the others there. This was not truly my bottom, as I stay...	Doingmybest	2	580	May 16, 2016 by hotrod
	Online literature (Preview) Hi, somewhat new to alanon (call it four months) and 4 years into aa. Attend about 3 aa meetings a week and one alanon. I have been able to find lots of aa literature online and am looking for direction into a central site for alanon literature. Thanks, aa has done wonders and alanon is helping lots as well...	bigsmitty	13	3935	May 16, 2016 by bigsmitty
	Finding my motivaions (Preview) This isn't directly related to alcohol, but we know that the program can help in all areas of our lives. I am so irked at someone's response or lack of one that I am trying to decide if my motives were selfish or the other person was just plain rude. See, now the program is making me examine my own behavior...	El	4	571	May 15, 2016 by El
	C2C 5-15-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 15 speaks about entering Al-Anon and discovering the warmth and caring found within the rooms. It points out the people in Al-Anon have learned a non judgmental patient way of life and even though you don't like their hugs and walk away,they keep inviting us come back , They r...	hotrod	3	613	May 15, 2016 by missmeliss
	Perspective needed (Preview) I PM'd a few of my personal friends here at MIP but I thought I would throw this out to the group and ask for some words of support and wisdom. My bf and I will be living together soon and his ex-wife just now decided to say something about her concerns: specifically about her 2 young girls living with my 17 ye...	andromeda	9	748	May 15, 2016 by andromeda
	Hate alcohol (Preview) The images of the alcoholic drinking and the violence I experienced keeps going through my mind over and over again. I hate alcohol so much right now and how it has destroyed my life and my home. I keep thinking omg, omg, he had put a steak knife to my neck, and was screaming and screaming at me and calling m...	joker	12	915	May 15, 2016 by Lyne
	Today was a good day (Preview) I posted on here last night about my beginnings in this Al-Anon journey. I've been very anxious because now that my Abf is working on getting sober (30 days), attending AA meetings regularly and going through OP rehab counseling, he seems to be pushing me away so he can work on himself. He is trying to co...	RKTreats	1	481	May 14, 2016 by Jerry F
	Step 9 Posted to the Step Board (Preview) Step 9 posted to the: Step Work BoardWhere we discuss each of the Twelve StepsIn the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps o...	hotrod	0	393	May 14, 2016 by hotrod
	Friday the 13th (Preview) Ok .. I move to Texas thinking that it will mellow my life out and it is absolutely decided that it doesn't. Now thank GOD I'm not an A because this is stone cold sober I can't imagine the crap that would happen if I was drunk and out of control. Now I'm terribly warped and the best people I know their edges ar...	SerenityRUS	2	654	May 14, 2016 by OceanTide
	He's drunk again (Preview) Hi friends. Just need to share what happened tonight. I made the foolish mistake of telling my drunk husband that he behaved badly when he drank. He had drunk half a liter of whisky in just a few hours and was rude. I was accused of throwing attitude and he called me a f**king btch in front of our 6 year old...	jilld30	4	716	May 14, 2016 by el-cee
	Advice/Help Needed (Preview) I posted another message somewhere, but can't seem to find it. I have been in a "relationship" with someone I met online over a year ago. We clicked from the get-go. He told me he was a recovering alcoholic, after I had fallen head over heels for him. What I didn't know, was he was still drinking. Accord...	RKTreats	6	553	May 14, 2016 by tiredtonite
	C2C Reading for May 14 2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 14 speaks about Al-Anon recovery, being a discipline. The reading points out that this discipline requires diligence, patience and consistency for the best results. Regular attendance at meetings, working the steps and applying the Al-Anon principles every part of the da...	hotrod	1	481	May 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Help with Step 1 and obsessive thoughts Step 1 Obsessive Thoughts (Preview) Hi, I am new here- and am so glad I found this forum. Basically, I am here because I have a fear that my husband will become an alcoholic. I don't think he is one yet, but I worry about his drinking patterns and family history (his mom and sister are recovering alcoholics). So I find myself counting his dri...	mb2016	10	729	May 13, 2016 by mb2016
	my mom... (Preview) My mom found out today that she has skin cancer on her face in more than one place. I just hope & pray that it doesn't get worse. Prayers for good news that they can get it all.	Hoot Nanny	1	400	May 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	good to be alive right about now!(song) (Preview) This is a song that comes up every now & then. I feel pretty much this way right now. I am so glad that I am experiencing a beautiful day today. The sun is shining & I feel the wind on my face. It is so nice to take a walk & not feel like I am in so much pain that I can hardly stand it. But there is always s...	Hoot Nanny	2	1918	May 13, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage to Change (C2C) 5/13/16 (Preview) Today's reading discusses decision making and how the program changes us and that process. For many of us, coming to Al-Anon and practicing the program helps us make our choices more conscientiously. We do the necessary footwork to research our choices, decide and then leave the results up to our...	Iamhere	4	915	May 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	Love......and a new chapter starting (Preview) I am going to be moving in with my new man and his two little girls at the end of the month. And his dog. And his cat, lol! I hate moving. Let's just get that on the table. And, I just helped my guy move over the past few months, as well, and I truly am tired of packing and unpacking boxes. On the flip side; this...	andromeda	5	642	May 13, 2016 by Breakingfree
	What can I do for my boyfriend? And me? (Preview) This is my first time here..I wanted to find a place where I could talk to others who know what it is like to live with and love an alcoholic. My fiancé has always drank...a lot. For the first few years I noticed it, but it wasn't really disturbing, he didn't morph into a monster. Now, I realize alcoholism i...	Desperateinnyc	13	688	May 13, 2016 by Jazzie18
	Balancing boundaries for self-care and hands off to my bf's sobriety (Preview) Hello everyone:) I'm new and so grateful to find this site! I'm 26 years sober, a double-winner in Al Anon and AA. I'm divorced, with three adult children, all living at home with me now. I definitely have a full plate with them..my oldest daughter, 32, is mentally disabled, my son, 33, just got paroled...	Moondancer1962	13	778	May 13, 2016 by Moondancer1962
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.