Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

deacon · deacon

We have had our 38 year old son, his fiance and their baby boy living with us for many months now. They have no money at all and my son has not been able to find a job in this area. So we have provided every necessity or life for them and the baby. He has the use of my car that I just paid off, we bought all the baby fu...

joker · joker

I am so numb right now. I keep shaking and just plain afraid of Abf. I have posted an ad for an apartment to live in for myself and have been looking for a place. I have a sister here in the city and we talked. She said to get a lot at the lake which is 2 hours from the city and stay there for the summer, and to get my h...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

There is nothing that can bring me to my knees faster than my adult children and my young grandchildren struggling. In this case, as usually is the case, it is all a product of their own choices for the adult children. It is so hard to not rush in and save when there are grandchildren involved, and yet i...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c talks about being alone, and how, prior to recovery, many of us think we can only feel happy if someone else (chiefly our qualifiers) is there to stop us from feeling alone. (And it also mentions how ironically we often feel more alone than ever when they are with us anyway). The reading is ab...

Ladybird89 · Ladybird89

Hello All, This is my first time with any sort of contact with Al-Anon, so sorry if I mess up anywhere. Here's my story: I have been with my BF for over 6 years now. He was always a drinker for as long as I have known him. Was always able to keep a job, never behind on bills or anything like that, but if he wasn't...

sweetness34 · sweetness34

Never make excuses. Your friends don't need them and your foes won't believe them. John Wooden Gosh. How many excuses have I made in my life? I've made excuses to friends about why we couldn't do things with them, because money was tight, due to our circumstances. I've made excuses to our kids when we co...

KT2015 · KT2015

As I start to get better I find those around me who aren't trying to get better really challenging to deal with. It sounds really awful to write it like that but here we go. I am learning now by looking at things from a different perspective how much I mediated for my AH (and others in general). My BFF who...

joker · joker

Yesterday, I went to a face to face al-anon meeting and overcame my denial that the alcoholic bf will get better. He is not. The verbal abuse has become intolerable and I am nearing a nervous break down. I keep shaking and shaking in fear of him. He yells and screams and makes threats to hit me. I am a nervou...

jocelgp · jocelgp

I came to Al-anon because I need help, I felt no one in my circle truly understands what I'm going thru, they will just tell me to live with it and offer it as a sacrifice. Some would even blame me for my choice of marrying someone who I knew drinks. How I felt so stupid and blamed myself about not knowing th...

Fallout with another member · Mitsy

I recently had a falling out with another member in my very small Al-Anon group. This woman needed help getting to an out of town Dr. appt. & I had re-arranged my very busy work schedule at least 3 times (if not more) to take her. She has cancelled her appts. in the past due to her blood pressure (anxi...

Crau · Crau

I've been thinking about upholding boundaries and carrying the weight of others expecting you to uphold their boundaries for them. Boundaries are hard to start with, right? But even more difficult when someone tells you "if only you would xyz, then the person would be able to do abc for me"....hmm...

strangeworld · strangeworld

I'm new here...second post. Something that I have been really struggling with is not taking insulting, hurtful words personally. When they are said by someone who is supposed to love you. The worst part about it is that I already feel like crap about certain areas of my life....especially my soci...

Kimryn · Kimryn

I think I've been fooling myself. What I thought was forgiveness and compassion, was probably enabling. I'm at a reading point. Alcoholism plagued my childhood and I feel I'm now letting it plague my adult life and negatively effect my children's lives. Both my parents have struggled with drinkin...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Not much going on today. Last night on the other hand my ah & I had another night of fighting. He spewed a few choice words & said something that I can't remember. Needless to say I had trouble sleeping. The fact was I needed to sleep & he wanted a moment of silence & he took it wrong. In this...

Carmel 15 · Carmel 15

My ABF has been sober since finishing a six month stay in residential rehab in Dec, a miracle in itself. He is not attending meetings of any sort and so I guess is white knuckling it...he says he will NEVER drink again... and that the man he was is gone, he doesnt know him anymore, and thank god he says a...

Ava2016 · Ava2016

I have a customer/friend who is an alcoholic. She's never told me, her boss did (she went into rehab). I do not know if she knows I know. Yesterday at lunch, to my shock, she had 2 drinks! What can I do to help her? I was so shocked, I did nothing.

strangeworld · strangeworld

I am a new member...just couldn't keep my feelings inside right now and rather than scream and slam doors and scare my pets, I figured I would post here. I am 16 years sober which I am thankful for. It has not been easy, especially over the last few years. It all seems to revolve around my 17 year old daug...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone-- Today's reading is about how a difference in our perception about any given situation can change our attitude and brighten what may have seemed like a bleak situation. The writer tells of looking at a tree that at first glance seems out of place, not healthy looking, not the t...

Pinkshoe7 · Pinkshoe7

It's been awhile since I've posted....6 years. My husband has been sober for six years until now.....but in those six years we made a life. A house and a family. A 4yr old boy and a 10 month old girl. And now this......there's been about 3 instances in the last 3 months. He's hanging out with people he hasn...

Crau · Crau

I wrote down my story last week for a friend, recapping the events of late and what I did or didn't do in response. It was funny looking from that point of view author and not main character, you see flaws in the story line; where the story should have stopped or where a new chapter needed to begin. It starte...

Sandy408 · Sandy408

Hello to all! Just wanted to get some feedback if anyone has experienced what I am going through... I have been in Al Anon for almost 3 years in July. I worked on my steps and traditions with a sponsor a year in to my recovery. I learned a lot from her and her words will always be with me but I felt It was time for...

milkwood · milkwood

I'm not proud of how I'm feeling. I sort of thought that marriage was a partnership, a companionable one which included someone who I could talk to. My marriage feels like it has a big black hole in it - a space where I try not to think about my husband and things that he has said or done in the past. A space w...

Crau · Crau

I've been doing really well, focusing on me and not my ExABF. Taking the time I need to start fresh, looking to buy a home just for me and the dog. I don't give him as much energy as this post may elude too--just events of the pay week have intensified old feelings as of recent. My ex has been in intensive ou...

Mirandac · Mirandac

I feel all emotional again probably my two lastest losses just keep adding up on my other pile of stuff. I feel like i am at a crossroad. It will be one year on the 15 th. i need to let go and let God, and leave him there, for my own sanity and growth. We were both harmed as children growing up in dysfunctiona...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Happy Mother's Day to one and all - including all the male members who have had to be mothers at times. As most of you know, I have two sons. I expect that I won't hear from either of them today. I am sad for that, but it is what it is. The disease is alive and well in my neck of the woods, so am asking for prayer...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm still seem to be soo shy when it comes to important events like funerals or reunions,I don't and can't understand myself regarding this sit.i tend to run poisoned direction,just a lot of people and I'm just not wanting to be in a crowd some odd reason,I feel shy about going but once I get there usuall...

lookingup · lookingup

My progress is working slowly on me ,I'm still not self motivated as I should be it takes someone making me mad or being excited about something that gets me motivated ,I guess I could say that I'm still looking outwards for motivaters ,it's good I'm actually admitting it to myself and recognising it ,I...

Rebounder · Rebounder

So I have this young friend who owned a little dog. The dog stayed with us often while her owner went out on long drugged and alcoholic adventures. Her owner is a mess. So the last time we had her dog, we tried really hard to get her to leave the dog with us. it didn't work and now the dog is dead and we are so piss...

Fooled · Fooled

I need to give myself a big pat on the back because I stuck to my boundaries last night. I got a text from him at his normal end of work day that he was going to be delayed. Then an hour later I got another text that said sorry. He arrived home pretty well lit. Didn't eat dinner fell asleep in the recliner w...

a4l · a4l

I've had a bit of a lightbulb moment or maybe stone dropping is a better description. I've always had this very rigid expectation around public behaviour. For myself and those around me and descended from me. I can not enjoy my coffee if anyone has messy hair or mismatched clothes, and god forbid any ch...

El · El

Hi All. OK......I am working towards acceptance and detachment with love especially when expectations are not met. This week my SO was diagnosed with alcohol induced hepatitis. Doctor said he HAD to stop drinking. My SO was very down and after blaming the doctor, and bemoaning that life would n...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I have come to realize that most people do not know how to play. They know how to be responsible, work hard, take everything way to seriously however have forgotten how to really play and not in a mean way play with each other. It always shocks me when I'm engaging with someone and they are so surprised b...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's C2C is about being able to acknowledge our own assets, and how that is so embarrassing and difficult for many of us at first. The reading suggests that we can begin by accepting kindness and/or compliments from others even if we think we don't deserve it, and that we can let others know that we ap...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

I'm tired today emotionally, mentally, an spiritually .. i have a meeting i can an am going to tonight where i live .. but lately i feel the unity missing sometimes when i share online (in another site) .. i haven't shared in this site in awhile so just letting myself share (without criticism or judgment...

texas yankee · texas yankee

I've been going to Al Anon for about 13 years now - in the early years. mainly just picking up a few tidbits here and there, kinda like an Al Anon observer, but over the past two years or so, when I retired, I've become VERY active in a few local groups - I'm learning about and living the message, and I'm espec...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I've been dreading this day for awhile now. I'm glad it's here. Today is my husband and my fifteenth anniversary. Our relationship has been very very difficult for quite some time now. We've been separated for 9 months, but he is still in resistance to that. He is a good man, but his denial is so strong....

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 8 th talks about the phrase," Yes but." The reading points out that we don't have to like reality however we do have to accept it for what it is. Your day is too precious to waste by wishing it away in fantasy and day dreams. The reading points out that if we I spend our time wishing t...

Lyne · Lyne

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms! I want to give a special shout out to my sponsor who by virtue of our relationship is a kind of "mother figure" for me. She volunteers her time and energy to me (and others) and never complains! My own mom is crippled in a nursing home and has dementia. It is wonderful...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am going to make this quick like the goodbye my friend said in several texts. I won't see her for awhile so I am grieving right now. I mentioned her before. May God richly bless her. Thanks to all of you who have who have been following my journey towards wellness.

El · El

The last time I went to a f2f meeting was a couple of years ago. I am ready to go again and am wondering about the best way to handle it. Last time my AH was very sarcastic and accusatory about my meetings. I didn't lie where I was going. Monday night was alanon. When I came home he would accuse me of telling sto...

jocelgp · jocelgp

I replaced "mib_n7east" with my nickname and I still couldn't get in. No error message, it just returns to the screen with "mib_n7east" in it. Am I doing it the right way?

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

I realize that the Kentucky Derby is tomorow. It gives me a bad feeling in my heart and stomach because this is the first time that I will be watching it alone. XAH likes to bet on it and no matter where we were in our relationship, we managed to sit and watch it, pick horses etc. Sometimes if i picked the winn...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I have discovered why I just should not date .. they keep coming back .. LOL .. j/k although I did have the experience of running into my Romeo from December today at my coffee shop and all I could think was God love the man. Yes leave it to me in the little state of Texas to run into the guy I dated 2x since my sp...

Freetime · Freetime

I wanted to share a fun discovery that some of you might appreciate. My phone has that predictive spelling feature, where after you type in a word it suggests the next word you could enter. Earlier today I typed the words "You are not ..." and my very smart phone suggested as the next word, "alone." "Y...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 7 th speaks about alcoholism being a disease. It suggests that if a person with the disease could stop --many would have done so long ago. . When we finally come to realize that we cannot fight a disease and that it does us no good to plead or to reason with a disease., we do not nee...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The reading today discusses Step 5 and how at first glance, it appears to be daunting. Most of us spent so much energy and time into hiding the truth as we had fear of rejection from others. After all, we had tried so hard to be perfect and present the perfect front Most of us were isolated and lonely as i...

jocelgp · jocelgp

My AH still denies he's an alcoholic. He's a periodic binge drinker and he's drinking again on a weekly basis. To give you an idea he's the between number One and number Two husband in "To Wives" chapter of AA's Big Book. I think I have accepted the three C's , that I could only change myself, I have stop...

jagadamba · jagadamba

I need an online sponsor to help me get through staying away from my relationship with an alcoholic boyfriend. Please help.

Mirandac · Mirandac

Is there a protocol for how soon to start business meeting? Is asking for 10-15 minutes start time too much to ask Of members? i like to converse, greet new members, give hugs whatever i go for me to get better and to give it forward. Thats my agenda, I am the Librarian too. Well there are two members th...

Doozy · Doozy

Okay, I almost don't want to ask this question because I'm afraid I already know the answer and I don't like it :) What do y'all recommend regarding dating during recovery in Alanon? I'm in my early 30s. Two months ago I ended a serious, long-term relationship with my addict, alcoholic boyfriend. We'd...

lgnutah · lgnutah

Over the past maybe 6 months, my 35 year old AD (who doesn't work any kind of program though she has gone to a "few" AA meetings over the years with friends) has started to sometimes show some clarity of thinking, where she is beginning to recognize that drinking/using may possibly be causing some probl...

a4l · a4l

I was upset this morning at 5 am to hear the disease has kicked in agaim for my mother. I had sent her a picture of the grandkids with the ah who is back in island of heritage. I didn't really want to send it because I thought it might just be an opportunity for rejection. But I did anyway. I felt very angry th...

Worried Wife · Worried Wife

Hello Friends, Who has gone thru the roller coaster ride as I am right now? Hubby was sober for a couple weeks, then then drinks again, this time for three days. This is round 3 of sober/not sober. I hug and praise him and express how happy I am when he is clear. I enjoy the moments of sobriety but gear my m...

Kimarin · Kimarin

I have been married for 26 years and met her way before that. I can tell within a few moments if she has been drinking. I have not had a problem with substance abuse or drinking myself but I have plenty of my own issues beyond those. I actually have no idea where to begin but I am at my limits and probably ha...

Yankeerose · Yankeerose

Hi all, haven't been on here in awhile, been so busy working and just dealing with life. Anyway, my AH has been working a recovery program (AA) for almost a year. He's been doing great--we've been doing great. Almost too good to be true. Well it was. Just found out that he's been smoking pot. I know I...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about humility and how it can be tough to embrace. Often we are taught from early ages to place the wants and needs of others before our own. We then equate humility with taking care of others and ignoring our own needs and feelings. In the program, we learn that true humility is not...

Cindy1954 · Cindy1954

I've been dealing with my sister's disease and to get along have walked on egg shells. We have a family farm together. She has been verbally abusive to me and just mean. It has to all go her way in everything. I started adding boundaries and have gotten major pushback. Her attitude in my opinion...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I'm struggling with some anxiety and obssessive thinking. I know the tools and sayings. Letting it go is easier said than done. Sometimes it helps to bring "God" or HP into it. Helps to be mindful, talk to supports. But even then, letting go of intrusive, unproductive, anxious thoughts is a challenge...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Letting go stinks! I am finishing my last post that I did on my thread. Under don't know what to do today? I am greatly saddened by my friend moving away. I am actually feeling a sense of grief & she hasn't left yet!!!! When someone goes through life experiences w you like no other it is hard to see any wa...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Todays C2C (and yes, I've checked and double checked that I have the right one this time, lol) speaks about how when many of us come to al-anon, we don't know who we are. Many of us have spent a lifetime knowing all about the wants, needs, opinions, likes and dislikes of everyone around us but had no idea of...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Taking away support and feeling really guilty (Preview) We have had our 38 year old son, his fiance and their baby boy living with us for many months now. They have no money at all and my son has not been able to find a job in this area. So we have provided every necessity or life for them and the baby. He has the use of my car that I just paid off, we bought all the baby fu...	deacon	8	555	May 12, 2016 by Jerry F
	Just numb (Preview) I am so numb right now. I keep shaking and just plain afraid of Abf. I have posted an ad for an apartment to live in for myself and have been looking for a place. I have a sister here in the city and we talked. She said to get a lot at the lake which is 2 hours from the city and stay there for the summer, and to get my h...	joker	4	415	May 12, 2016 by Mirandac
	Mom Guilt (Preview) There is nothing that can bring me to my knees faster than my adult children and my young grandchildren struggling. In this case, as usually is the case, it is all a product of their own choices for the adult children. It is so hard to not rush in and save when there are grandchildren involved, and yet i...	Bethany66	4	520	May 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 11/5 (Preview) Today's c2c talks about being alone, and how, prior to recovery, many of us think we can only feel happy if someone else (chiefly our qualifiers) is there to stop us from feeling alone. (And it also mentions how ironically we often feel more alone than ever when they are with us anyway). The reading is ab...	missmeliss	7	522	May 11, 2016 by pjwa12726
	New Here (Preview) Hello All, This is my first time with any sort of contact with Al-Anon, so sorry if I mess up anywhere. Here's my story: I have been with my BF for over 6 years now. He was always a drinker for as long as I have known him. Was always able to keep a job, never behind on bills or anything like that, but if he wasn't...	Ladybird89	8	317	May 11, 2016 by Jerry F
	Excuses (Preview) Never make excuses. Your friends don't need them and your foes won't believe them. John Wooden Gosh. How many excuses have I made in my life? I've made excuses to friends about why we couldn't do things with them, because money was tight, due to our circumstances. I've made excuses to our kids when we co...	sweetness34	7	505	May 11, 2016 by sweetness34
	Issues with a friend (Preview) As I start to get better I find those around me who aren't trying to get better really challenging to deal with. It sounds really awful to write it like that but here we go. I am learning now by looking at things from a different perspective how much I mediated for my AH (and others in general). My BFF who...	KT2015	4	614	May 11, 2016 by KT2015
	getting over denial (Preview) Yesterday, I went to a face to face al-anon meeting and overcame my denial that the alcoholic bf will get better. He is not. The verbal abuse has become intolerable and I am nearing a nervous break down. I keep shaking and shaking in fear of him. He yells and screams and makes threats to hit me. I am a nervou...	joker	8	598	May 11, 2016 by missmeliss
	no more romantic love (Preview) I came to Al-anon because I need help, I felt no one in my circle truly understands what I'm going thru, they will just tell me to live with it and offer it as a sacrifice. Some would even blame me for my choice of marrying someone who I knew drinks. How I felt so stupid and blamed myself about not knowing th...	jocelgp	5	708	May 11, 2016 by jocelgp
	Fallout with another member (Preview) I recently had a falling out with another member in my very small Al-Anon group. This woman needed help getting to an out of town Dr. appt. & I had re-arranged my very busy work schedule at least 3 times (if not more) to take her. She has cancelled her appts. in the past due to her blood pressure (anxi...	Mitsy	23	1064	May 10, 2016 by Mitsy
	Upholding other people's boundaries (Preview) I've been thinking about upholding boundaries and carrying the weight of others expecting you to uphold their boundaries for them. Boundaries are hard to start with, right? But even more difficult when someone tells you "if only you would xyz, then the person would be able to do abc for me"....hmm...	Crau	4	529	May 10, 2016 by KT2015
	Words that hurt...causing irrational guilt (Preview) I'm new here...second post. Something that I have been really struggling with is not taking insulting, hurtful words personally. When they are said by someone who is supposed to love you. The worst part about it is that I already feel like crap about certain areas of my life....especially my soci...	strangeworld	4	2522	May 10, 2016 by strangeworld
	Feeling Hopeless (Preview) I think I've been fooling myself. What I thought was forgiveness and compassion, was probably enabling. I'm at a reading point. Alcoholism plagued my childhood and I feel I'm now letting it plague my adult life and negatively effect my children's lives. Both my parents have struggled with drinkin...	Kimryn	6	484	May 10, 2016 by Kimryn
	just another day. (Preview) Not much going on today. Last night on the other hand my ah & I had another night of fighting. He spewed a few choice words & said something that I can't remember. Needless to say I had trouble sleeping. The fact was I needed to sleep & he wanted a moment of silence & he took it wrong. In this...	Hoot Nanny	2	311	May 10, 2016 by Iamhere
	ISMs of Alcoholism and how Ive slipped abit myself. (Preview) My ABF has been sober since finishing a six month stay in residential rehab in Dec, a miracle in itself. He is not attending meetings of any sort and so I guess is white knuckling it...he says he will NEVER drink again... and that the man he was is gone, he doesnt know him anymore, and thank god he says a...	Carmel 15	2	597	May 10, 2016 by Iamhere
	What do I do? (Preview) I have a customer/friend who is an alcoholic. She's never told me, her boss did (she went into rehab). I do not know if she knows I know. Yesterday at lunch, to my shock, she had 2 drinks! What can I do to help her? I was so shocked, I did nothing.	Ava2016	5	502	May 10, 2016 by Jerry F
	First time here. (Preview) I am a new member...just couldn't keep my feelings inside right now and rather than scream and slam doors and scare my pets, I figured I would post here. I am 16 years sober which I am thankful for. It has not been easy, especially over the last few years. It all seems to revolve around my 17 year old daug...	strangeworld	10	872	May 10, 2016 by lookingup
	Hope for Today May 10 (Preview) Good morning Everyone-- Today's reading is about how a difference in our perception about any given situation can change our attitude and brighten what may have seemed like a bleak situation. The writer tells of looking at a tree that at first glance seems out of place, not healthy looking, not the t...	yanksfan51	2	396	May 10, 2016 by Iamhere
	It's been awhile (Preview) It's been awhile since I've posted....6 years. My husband has been sober for six years until now.....but in those six years we made a life. A house and a family. A 4yr old boy and a 10 month old girl. And now this......there's been about 3 instances in the last 3 months. He's hanging out with people he hasn...	Pinkshoe7	3	453	May 10, 2016 by Iamhere
	Our story, our journey..and no one else's (but maybe just slightly similar ;) ) (Preview) I wrote down my story last week for a friend, recapping the events of late and what I did or didn't do in response. It was funny looking from that point of view author and not main character, you see flaws in the story line; where the story should have stopped or where a new chapter needed to begin. It starte...	Crau	2	496	May 10, 2016 by Iamhere
	Do we ever outgrow Al Anon? (Preview) Hello to all! Just wanted to get some feedback if anyone has experienced what I am going through... I have been in Al Anon for almost 3 years in July. I worked on my steps and traditions with a sponsor a year in to my recovery. I learned a lot from her and her words will always be with me but I felt It was time for...	Sandy408	9	613	May 10, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	Slipping... (Preview) I'm not proud of how I'm feeling. I sort of thought that marriage was a partnership, a companionable one which included someone who I could talk to. My marriage feels like it has a big black hole in it - a space where I try not to think about my husband and things that he has said or done in the past. A space w...	milkwood	9	566	May 10, 2016 by a4l
	A test of where I am (Preview) I've been doing really well, focusing on me and not my ExABF. Taking the time I need to start fresh, looking to buy a home just for me and the dog. I don't give him as much energy as this post may elude too--just events of the pay week have intensified old feelings as of recent. My ex has been in intensive ou...	Crau	6	621	May 9, 2016 by Crau
	Handing xah over and leaving there (Preview) I feel all emotional again probably my two lastest losses just keep adding up on my other pile of stuff. I feel like i am at a crossroad. It will be one year on the 15 th. i need to let go and let God, and leave him there, for my own sanity and growth. We were both harmed as children growing up in dysfunctiona...	Mirandac	5	573	May 9, 2016 by Mirandac
	Happy Mother's Day all... (Preview) Happy Mother's Day to one and all - including all the male members who have had to be mothers at times. As most of you know, I have two sons. I expect that I won't hear from either of them today. I am sad for that, but it is what it is. The disease is alive and well in my neck of the woods, so am asking for prayer...	Iamhere	16	839	May 9, 2016 by Iamhere
	Shyness ???? (Preview) I'm still seem to be soo shy when it comes to important events like funerals or reunions,I don't and can't understand myself regarding this sit.i tend to run poisoned direction,just a lot of people and I'm just not wanting to be in a crowd some odd reason,I feel shy about going but once I get there usuall...	lookingup	6	660	May 9, 2016 by lookingup
	Motivation (Preview) My progress is working slowly on me ,I'm still not self motivated as I should be it takes someone making me mad or being excited about something that gets me motivated ,I guess I could say that I'm still looking outwards for motivaters ,it's good I'm actually admitting it to myself and recognising it ,I...	lookingup	4	485	May 9, 2016 by lookingup
	resentment: is it ever useful? (Preview) So I have this young friend who owned a little dog. The dog stayed with us often while her owner went out on long drugged and alcoholic adventures. Her owner is a mess. So the last time we had her dog, we tried really hard to get her to leave the dog with us. it didn't work and now the dog is dead and we are so piss...	Rebounder	5	612	May 9, 2016 by Ifnotforgrace
	The good the bad and the ugly (Preview) I need to give myself a big pat on the back because I stuck to my boundaries last night. I got a text from him at his normal end of work day that he was going to be delayed. Then an hour later I got another text that said sorry. He arrived home pretty well lit. Didn't eat dinner fell asleep in the recliner w...	Fooled	21	878	May 9, 2016 by Ifnotforgrace
	lowering expectations. (Preview) I've had a bit of a lightbulb moment or maybe stone dropping is a better description. I've always had this very rigid expectation around public behaviour. For myself and those around me and descended from me. I can not enjoy my coffee if anyone has messy hair or mismatched clothes, and god forbid any ch...	a4l	6	567	May 9, 2016 by Ifnotforgrace
	disappointment (Preview) Hi All. OK......I am working towards acceptance and detachment with love especially when expectations are not met. This week my SO was diagnosed with alcohol induced hepatitis. Doctor said he HAD to stop drinking. My SO was very down and after blaming the doctor, and bemoaning that life would n...	El	9	540	May 9, 2016 by Jazzie18
	Play (Preview) I have come to realize that most people do not know how to play. They know how to be responsible, work hard, take everything way to seriously however have forgotten how to really play and not in a mean way play with each other. It always shocks me when I'm engaging with someone and they are so surprised b...	SerenityRUS	5	549	May 9, 2016 by Ifnotforgrace
	Courage To Change 9/5 (Preview) Today's C2C is about being able to acknowledge our own assets, and how that is so embarrassing and difficult for many of us at first. The reading suggests that we can begin by accepting kindness and/or compliments from others even if we think we don't deserve it, and that we can let others know that we ap...	missmeliss	5	477	May 9, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Tired .. an visiting this room .. alanon unity .. (Preview) I'm tired today emotionally, mentally, an spiritually .. i have a meeting i can an am going to tonight where i live .. but lately i feel the unity missing sometimes when i share online (in another site) .. i haven't shared in this site in awhile so just letting myself share (without criticism or judgment...	MeTwo2	9	554	May 9, 2016 by sweetness34
	I'm doing what I should be doing - why doesn't it get better? (Preview) I've been going to Al Anon for about 13 years now - in the early years. mainly just picking up a few tidbits here and there, kinda like an Al Anon observer, but over the past two years or so, when I retired, I've become VERY active in a few local groups - I'm learning about and living the message, and I'm espec...	texas yankee	9	705	May 9, 2016 by MeTwo2
	Today is my 15th anniversary (Preview) I've been dreading this day for awhile now. I'm glad it's here. Today is my husband and my fifteenth anniversary. Our relationship has been very very difficult for quite some time now. We've been separated for 9 months, but he is still in resistance to that. He is a good man, but his denial is so strong....	oceanpine	5	597	May 8, 2016 by oceanpine
	C2C May 8,2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 8 th talks about the phrase," Yes but." The reading points out that we don't have to like reality however we do have to *accept* it for what it is. Your day is too precious to waste by wishing it away in fantasy and day dreams. The reading points out that if we I spend our time wishing t...	hotrod	3	408	May 8, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Me and my sponsor (Preview) Happy Mother's Day to all the moms! I want to give a special shout out to my sponsor who by virtue of our relationship is a kind of "mother figure" for me. She volunteers her time and energy to me (and others) and never complains! My own mom is crippled in a nursing home and has dementia. It is wonderful...	Lyne	3	310	May 8, 2016 by Iamhere
	i am crying my eyes out! (Preview) I am going to make this quick like the goodbye my friend said in several texts. I won't see her for awhile so I am grieving right now. I mentioned her before. May God richly bless her. Thanks to all of you who have who have been following my journey towards wellness.	Hoot Nanny	7	2168	May 8, 2016 by lookingup
	Reaction to alanon (Preview) The last time I went to a f2f meeting was a couple of years ago. I am ready to go again and am wondering about the best way to handle it. Last time my AH was very sarcastic and accusatory about my meetings. I didn't lie where I was going. Monday night was alanon. When I came home he would accuse me of telling sto...	El	7	641	May 8, 2016 by hotrod
	Need help in entering meeting/chat room (Preview) I replaced "mib_n7east" with my nickname and I still couldn't get in. No error message, it just returns to the screen with "mib_n7east" in it. Am I doing it the right way?	jocelgp	2	357	May 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	Memories (Preview) I realize that the Kentucky Derby is tomorow. It gives me a bad feeling in my heart and stomach because this is the first time that I will be watching it alone. XAH likes to bet on it and no matter where we were in our relationship, we managed to sit and watch it, pick horses etc. Sometimes if i picked the winn...	YARNCRAZY	4	460	May 7, 2016 by Taraxacum
	New perspective (Preview) I have discovered why I just should not date .. they keep coming back .. LOL .. j/k although I did have the experience of running into my Romeo from December today at my coffee shop and all I could think was God love the man. Yes leave it to me in the little state of Texas to run into the guy I dated 2x since my sp...	SerenityRUS	6	511	May 7, 2016 by Jen61
	My phone is really smart (Preview) I wanted to share a fun discovery that some of you might appreciate. My phone has that predictive spelling feature, where after you type in a word it suggests the next word you could enter. Earlier today I typed the words "You are not ..." and my very smart phone suggested as the next word, "alone." "Y...	Freetime	2	380	May 7, 2016 by hotrod
	C2C Reading 5-7-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 7 th speaks about alcoholism being a disease. It suggests that if a person with the disease could stop --many would have done so long ago. . When we finally come to realize that we cannot fight a disease and that it does us no good to plead or to reason with a disease., we do not nee...	hotrod	1	425	May 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 5/6/16 (Preview) The reading today discusses Step 5 and how at first glance, it appears to be daunting. Most of us spent so much energy and time into hiding the truth as we had fear of rejection from others. After all, we had tried so hard to be perfect and present the perfect front Most of us were isolated and lonely as i...	Iamhere	12	580	May 6, 2016 by hotrod
	AH drinking again, I'm no longer feeling anger but feeling extremely sad (Preview) My AH still denies he's an alcoholic. He's a periodic binge drinker and he's drinking again on a weekly basis. To give you an idea he's the between number One and number Two husband in "To Wives" chapter of AA's Big Book. I think I have accepted the three C's , that I could only change myself, I have stop...	jocelgp	6	597	May 6, 2016 by jocelgp
	Online sponsor (Preview) I need an online sponsor to help me get through staying away from my relationship with an alcoholic boyfriend. Please help.	jagadamba	1	362	May 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Business mtg timing? (Preview) Is there a protocol for how soon to start business meeting? Is asking for 10-15 minutes start time too much to ask Of members? i like to converse, greet new members, give hugs whatever i go for me to get better and to give it forward. Thats my agenda, I am the Librarian too. Well there are two members th...	Mirandac	4	507	May 6, 2016 by Mirandac
	Question about dating .... (Preview) Okay, I almost don't want to ask this question because I'm afraid I already know the answer and I don't like it :) What do y'all recommend regarding dating during recovery in Alanon? I'm in my early 30s. Two months ago I ended a serious, long-term relationship with my addict, alcoholic boyfriend. We'd...	Doozy	19	2862	May 6, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	My AD is starting to sometimes take a look at her drinking/using (Preview) Over the past maybe 6 months, my 35 year old AD (who doesn't work any kind of program though she has gone to a "few" AA meetings over the years with friends) has started to sometimes show some clarity of thinking, where she is beginning to recognize that drinking/using may possibly be causing some probl...	lgnutah	2	411	May 6, 2016 by Mike B
	powerless. (Preview) I was upset this morning at 5 am to hear the disease has kicked in agaim for my mother. I had sent her a picture of the grandkids with the ah who is back in island of heritage. I didn't really want to send it because I thought it might just be an opportunity for rejection. But I did anyway. I felt very angry th...	a4l	6	508	May 5, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Sobriety Roller Coaster (Preview) Hello Friends, Who has gone thru the roller coaster ride as I am right now? Hubby was sober for a couple weeks, then then drinks again, this time for three days. This is round 3 of sober/not sober. I hug and praise him and express how happy I am when he is clear. I enjoy the moments of sobriety but gear my m...	Worried Wife	4	439	May 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hi (Preview) I have been married for 26 years and met her way before that. I can tell within a few moments if she has been drinking. I have not had a problem with substance abuse or drinking myself but I have plenty of my own issues beyond those. I actually have no idea where to begin but I am at my limits and probably ha...	Kimarin	4	381	May 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	Clean and Sober? (Preview) Hi all, haven't been on here in awhile, been so busy working and just dealing with life. Anyway, my AH has been working a recovery program (AA) for almost a year. He's been doing great--we've been doing great. Almost too good to be true. Well it was. Just found out that he's been smoking pot. I know I...	Yankeerose	10	623	May 5, 2016 by Yankeerose
	Courage to Change (C2C) 5/5/2016 (Preview) Today's reading is about humility and how it can be tough to embrace. Often we are taught from early ages to place the wants and needs of others before our own. We then equate humility with taking care of others and ignoring our own needs and feelings. In the program, we learn that true humility is not...	Iamhere	5	550	May 5, 2016 by Katsfree
	working on detaching and finding my joy (Preview) I've been dealing with my sister's disease and to get along have walked on egg shells. We have a family farm together. She has been verbally abusive to me and just mean. It has to all go her way in everything. I started adding boundaries and have gotten major pushback. Her attitude in my opinion...	Cindy1954	5	477	May 5, 2016 by CyndiODAT
	Letting go (Preview) I'm struggling with some anxiety and obssessive thinking. I know the tools and sayings. Letting it go is easier said than done. Sometimes it helps to bring "God" or HP into it. Helps to be mindful, talk to supports. But even then, letting go of intrusive, unproductive, anxious thoughts is a challenge...	pinkchip	5	511	May 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	i am upset! don't know what to do... (Preview) Letting go stinks! I am finishing my last post that I did on my thread. Under don't know what to do today? I am greatly saddened by my friend moving away. I am actually feeling a sense of grief & she hasn't left yet!!!! When someone goes through life experiences w you like no other it is hard to see any wa...	Hoot Nanny	3	343	May 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 4/5 (Preview) Todays C2C (and yes, I've checked and double checked that I have the right one this time, lol) speaks about how when many of us come to al-anon, we don't know who we are. Many of us have spent a lifetime knowing all about the wants, needs, opinions, likes and dislikes of everyone around us but had no idea of...	missmeliss	5	413	May 4, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.