Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

SandyG · SandyG

I am really struggling with anger and sadness tonight. I have been working hard to work my program and put the focus on me tonight, but not doing a very good job of it. My AH was in recovery when we met and married so I never knew him as a drinker. In fact, he told me he didn't drink...he was in recovery from d...

El · El

My adult daughter is in recovery although I really have no idea if she has had any relapses. She suffers from depression and anxiety and has difficulty coping with even the smallest amount of stress. Even with medication she has struggled. I have really had to use detachment with love because for year...

Connie Sue · Connie Sue

Hello! I am Connie Sue. I first walked into the rooms of Al-Anon on April 3, 1995. I cried my first two years and was not sure of what I was getting myself into as it seemed that most everyone was happy! After deciding to get a sponsor, I took a leap of faith with beginning to learn and use the 12-Steps, I...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

These are my favorite shots that I have taken with my little camera phone .. LOL. I love black and white I wish I had a program that would add color .. I don't want to spend the money .. LOL!

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Ok .. so I think I miss stepped with the guy I'm seeing .. nothing that can't be recovered from however UGH UGH UGH .. I am not good at the dating thing or talking to guys thing really. No that's not true .. I can talk to guys .. once they are there I don't know what to do with them .. LOL! There is some interestin...

Lady_NYC22 · Lady_NYC22

Hi all, This is my first post, and I am not usually the type to share on a message board/not used to typing my feelings, so bare with me if I'm a little incoherent. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years; we are best friends, and I love him incredibly a lot. When we first started dating he was a heavy drinker...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses arrival at Step 7 in our program, Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. Many of us stumble on the word humble or humbly thinking that we did not need to be more humble! We often assumed we had been more than humble by putting others needs before our own constantly. Ho...

Jazzie18 · Jazzie18

My AH has been sober for now a year and I still find it hard to trust that he hasn't taken a drink sometime this past year. I have been praying a lot this week and trying to refocus my attention on myself but I have also had a lot of anxiety. I am going on a trip in a few weeks to the West Coast for three nights and...

joanlee · joanlee

Hello, I started going to Al-anon in 2010, and in 2011 I divorced my alcoholic husband. We lost our home with the divorce because of the recession. I also lost both my parents in 2008. Right after our divorce, my husband attempted suicide and went to the ER a couple of times, but they couldn't hold him bec...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I just was sitting here laughing to myself in terms of funny story of the week kind of deal .. My son and I have an on-going spit ball war going on it's not really spit balls it's more like we are out at a restaurant and it's paper stuck in water and then we try to hit each other. It's completely my fault as I s...

el-cee · el-cee

My Higher Power has handed me another learning opportunity, another chance to know this disease in more detail. A chance to develop more of the good things like compassion, love, kindness, understanding. Theres another side of that. I know this disease is destructive to all it comes into contact w...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

This leaves me wide open for discussion. I am attempting to focus on what's important in my life. It seems that I have no complaints. Not even hot weather will shake me. I stand firm in my belief that you get what you give. I know that I alone can decide what works for me & what doesn't.

missmeliss · missmeliss

Todays C2C speaks of step 6- being entirely willing to have our defects removed- and the fact that we might cling to certain defects because we enjoy them on some level. It suggests revenge, and the plotting and planning of it as a potential example of a defect that might be hard to give up and suggests th...

cricket21 · cricket21

I am only starting to come to terms with the fact that I'm in a relationship with an alcoholic. I got some advice from a friend and a therapist, and both think my partner is an alcoholic. I've been denying it, but am starting to really think it's true. I've only been reading about Al Anon and codependency f...

Connie Sue · Connie Sue

I am curious as to how other groups handle members who decided to become disruptive to the meeting taking place. We've had this happen a few times and peacefully, try to redirect these people back to the topic. Sometimes, there are people who really enjoy interrupting other members that are shari...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about how some of us dealt with the alcoholism and As in our lives by shutting down our emotions completely. This reading focuses on grief and the importance of allowing ourselves to grieve. The reading points out that expressing grief allows us to heal. T...

lilydevine · lilydevine

My husband suffers from bipolar and he self medicates with prescription drugs. I have become his caretaker. His Father and Mother are narcissus they feel he is bad and refuse to understand that he has a mental condition. He is a very gentle soul and is a good Father so I stay with him. Over the week...

rainbojo66 · rainbojo66

When I met my husband, we were both in AA. He was there for cocaine and I was there because I figured if you came from a family like mine, you would eventually BECOME alcoholic. And AA is an little bit like a hard-luck club - I loved the members of my family who were sober, but unless you were fully a part of th...

el-cee · el-cee

Jerry said something that has stuck with me and has helped me. When we're dealing with, living with, addiction to alcohol or anything really then were not dealing with 'normal' and so our 'normal' thinking, solutions, tools, dont apply. I love the drinker in my life but they are different, requiring...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 6, speaks about justifying our own unacceptable behavior. It points out that we often excuse ourselves by claiming that we were provoked or have no other choice. We then dismiss our actions by telling ourselves that everyone does the same thing. I know that i did this often an...

BAK · BAK

I have been in a long term relationship with my boyfriend for going on 3 years. He has been involved in AA and has been working on his sobriety since this past October, he has had his struggles and would be 9 months sober but is currently at 3.5 months. We have lived together throughout this. He works long h...

Jerry F · Jerry F

This is the monthly Magazine of Al-Anon Family Groups and my wife and I subscribe...It is a great recovery tool for those affected by another persons drinking and using. Some of the entries are re-printable on the net and you can get all of the entries in the publication. It ships all over the planet...

littlelionman · littlelionman

So it will be 2 years since splitting with my AW this September, and I have not gone on one date yet. Even my therapist is like dude...how bout a date..it's just a date! And in a weird reversal of roles it's ME getting HIM to chill. Granted it's been a busy stretch with divorce, finding a new place, movin...

ninja90cat · ninja90cat

My friend recently got sober. She was a problem drinker...maybe on the road to alcoholism. I was proud of her for seeing that she could be on the verge of alcoholism and quit before it ruined her life. She's almost 90 days, and boasts her sobriety to anyone that will listen, which I understand that may ju...

lookingup · lookingup

Don't even know how to start off here,had a really hard time thinking up a topic ,..im as weak as can be I can see that now ,I done great staying away from my xabf going on 2 Mths,then the texting started with me then comes the invite ,oh I would like to see ya,then the meet and then ending with I love your,whic...

RKTreats · RKTreats

Can someone shed some light on this topic for me? I have heard several times "it's better for both people to do the recovery outside of the relationship so they can focus on themselves", so does this mean if I'm in a relationship, I should end it and go through the recovery and then identify if the relatio...

Bettina2 · Bettina2

I never had children when I was married to the Alcoholic. We didn't want any, I didn't because I never wanted them to have an Alcoholic Father and he didn't because he didn't want any of them to grow up and be Alcoholics. Which his substance abuse became so bad after many years that he did Father twins fr...

Shirley · Shirley

I'm new to the board here. Two years ago my DH hit rock bottom. It was an awful scene and a lot of verbal abuse. 2 of our 4 kids were home at the time and got to witness it.... He let us get him help. He went to a rehab but could only stay 3 days. Our insurance wouldn't pay and his work wasn't going to hold his j...

Aerin · Aerin

Ok so I have been following Al-Anon's advice for a few months and a few things do work, such as if he comes home drinking, I tend to go into another room or not engage with him, which has definitely kept me in control of my emotions. But I still don't like the fact however that the next day he is completely fin...

el-cee · el-cee

I'm back in time. After two years of not living with a drinker and living a good life. I'm back living with a drinker. It's sad. It's not even been two weeks yet and there's hidden cans, lies and my fear has kicked in. I also have turned mute. Can't seem to bring myself to phone my sponsor or an alanon person....

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 5, discusses the Third step. The reading points out that it is important that we pause and take the time to define our Higher Power.This Power must be one that we can trust loves us unconditionally . It suggests that once we have accepted that the destructive presence of...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning All It's been a while but I'm still alive and doing good. My son is doing great. I'ts been 3 month since his release and in that time has organized his life well. He has landed a great job ( making more money me!!! ) and will soon be on his own again. Getting his license back next month ( YAHOO...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

I asked my AH tonight, "what kind of family are we? What are we building together?" Of course he had no answer, I think the question freaks him out because he had no idea who he wants to become, or what he wants to do. -- he left the room to play video games, then came back to bed and laid down to sleep without s...

joanlee · joanlee

How am I supposed to read these posts? All I see is a preview. Am I missing something?

Iamhere · Iamhere

For those of us who live with this disease, we spend so much time thinking and planning for the worse case scenario. I know I did before the program. The reality is things happen even when folks are doing what they are supposed to.... My AS1 who will celebrate one year tomorrow went to work this morning...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Ive had a very hard day today friends.. The IRS wants a bunch of money from me and my ex that I dont have.I went on a interview where I liked the job offered,money is crummy and it takes over an hr to get there up some creaky stairs. My guy took us to our fave thrift store and had a loud angry fight with another g...

annie5079 · annie5079

9 years ago I met my husband, we had a brief relationship and then he moved onto somone else and had a child,he already had a child before this one, he used to drink quite alot at weekends at this point and smoke cannabis, we stayed good friends and eventually he discovered his partner was having an affair...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So someone brought up dating and divorce .. I had to be completely divorced before I decided to start going out again .. that's just me I prefer to just close a door as much as possible since we have kids together it will always be an issue of my ex will be somewhere in the background regardless if I like it or...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 4 speaks about the importance of the :" Second Step". The reading points out that this Step is about hope because with this Step, we come to believe that a Power Greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. We are asked to open our minds to the possibilities that help is a...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm not struggling or torn really I'm just trying to sort out my feeling/s .. lol .. sometimes I joke I only have one to deal with I know that's not true however there are some situations where all I have got to give is ambivalence. That's a really odd space for me to be in because it's just empty. This is wh...

KT2015 · KT2015

Last night my AH and I got into a discussion about his drinking. It came up in a round about way where he asked me if I was calling him an alcoholic (even though I wasn't talking about him). I told him no I wasn't calling him an alcoholic in this instance I was talking about something else. Of course that l...

CyndiODAT · CyndiODAT

I think I must have a sign that says 'if you are alcoholic, I'm your girl!!!' Or maybe a t-shirt that reads, 'Kiss Me- I'm a Codependent!' I say this with a sense of humor but the reality is - why do I continue attracting these sorts in to my life? I have been spending some time with a guy friend that I dated b...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading comes from the perspective of a long-term Al-Anon member. The member reflects on her program, her experience and the power of how HP (Higher Power) has carried the message and the member. Through the program, the member has gathered a large supply of healthy positive experiences....

Iamhere · Iamhere

As I like to do, I am going to flip flop today a bit.... Today's Quote is so powerful ===== "Once we learned to see our situation as it really was, we understood why it was necessary for us to turn to a Power greater than ourselves." --- from Al-Anon's Twelve Steps & Twelve Tranitions Today's Reminder...

andromeda · andromeda

My son and I have recently moved in with my boyfriend and his 2 young girls. My boyfriend is former military (6 years in the Army and he had commanded 300 recruits at one point while he served: I believe he was a Captain)....anyway, he has a mentality that is: boys should be raised by their fathers to be me...

RKTreats · RKTreats

After reading today's reading that speaks about expectations and resentment, I find myself questioning a lot of things. I know we can apply the Al-Anon principles to all aspects of our lives, so I find myself asking....."If I am not supposed to have expectations, then does that mean I have to settle f...

lookingup · lookingup

Here's a few of my facts that I've found of the alcoholic/addict: their master manupulaters,they lie,cheat, And please do add your facts that you have found???? I'm sure there's more . Thanks for listening just felt like I needed to post this......hugs lu

El · El

Since my AH was diagnosed in early May with alcohol induced hepatitis, he seems to have made an attempt to cut back, but has not stopped drinking. I have said very little and anything I have said, it has been brief and factual. Something kept nagging at me however. My A doesn't use a computer, has no desi...

OpheliasBabyDoll · OpheliasBabyDoll

So here I am. It's ten o'clock at night on Wednesday, a time I would normally either be texting my alcoholic ex goodnight or just leaving his house. Sometimes, I feel lost. It's only been a few days that I've wandered various support sites, including this one. I've read quite a few stories, some more dra...

Emily W · Emily W

Hello All...this post is a long time coming. I have been with my alcoholic boyfriend for 8.5 years, 3 trips to rehab, hours and hours of meetings, YEARS of aftercare, countless visits to the hospital, a D.U.I., and yet here I still am. My ABF has been in and out of AA for most of our relationship and has ha...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

After another night of constant disruptions due to my AH drinking, I have decided today to prepare our guest room for a treasured guest...ME!! I am going to convert that guest room in to an oasis of relaxing comfort for myself for these times when sleeping in my own room is not serving me well. I am buyi...

lookingup · lookingup

I had read someone's post where they mentioned they needed to be vulnerable and desperate,in their situation in order to recover,I'm not understanding this for when I was vulnerable and desper I was at my also scariest also of being weak to another bad relationship,so that being where I don't want to...

Aerin · Aerin

Anyone else feel this way? I am so sick and tired of how they portray beer in commercials (even the Whiskey ones with Mila Kunis now! Like its all sexy for your man to be downing a few) In a new Light one they are obviously targeting 20 somethings, showing happy, super fit girls in bikinis holding a be...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Hello my MIP family, I am currently in Maui, Hawaii on a "vacation of a lifetime" and (after a quite rocky start) enjoying myself to the best of my ability. I am struggling with some things though and have been trying to use my program to help me with them. First, a family member (the one footing the majo...

Paintballer · Paintballer

Hi everyone. New member here. My Wife has been struggling with alcoholism for about 4 years now. She did a 30 day inpatient 4 years ago and has been going off and on to AA meetings. She just got caught at work (medical field)stealing meds and using them at work. Ive been told shes done this for about a year....

BetterBunny · BetterBunny

Hi Everyone, I'm been reading through page after page here and am finally ready to head to my first f2f meeting tonight. I'm both pleased to be going and scared at the same time. After years of trying to force life into a mold of my design and pretending to everyone around me that I'm really successful at i...

gabigail · gabigail

hi everyone- My A has been sober 18 days, but has been in the hospital the last week. My mind has been in a virtual fog the last week, trying to run my spouse's business and working my job and juggling everything. I'm exhausted. And today a bit emotional. I was talking to my A on the phone to see what she ne...

CoopsMom · CoopsMom

My AH is two months sober in AA and our home environment is much improved. He is working hard and I can see the big changes. This past weekend we were invited to stay with my sister and her fiancee. My AH, sister, nephew and dad (along with a few others) attended the Indy 500 to celebrate my Dad's birthday. T...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Todays c2c discusses the very wise notion that "an expectation is a premeditated resentment". It goes on to say that when resentment is felt, we can look to our own expectations as a likely source. The reading reminds us that we have the right to define our own standards but that we do not have the right t...

Ddw7415 · Ddw7415

I'm 65 years old and have been married for 25 years to my ah. He always drank, but it got worse with time and around 3 years ago his drunken rage caused me to leave the house and go to a hotel. The next day I told him to get sober or get out so he started meetings and got sober. At first life seemed to improv...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Struggling and angry (Preview) I am really struggling with anger and sadness tonight. I have been working hard to work my program and put the focus on me tonight, but not doing a very good job of it. My AH was in recovery when we met and married so I never knew him as a drinker. In fact, he told me he didn't drink...he was in recovery from d...	SandyG	5	616	Jun 10, 2016 by Mirandac
	Detaching (Preview) My adult daughter is in recovery although I really have no idea if she has had any relapses. She suffers from depression and anxiety and has difficulty coping with even the smallest amount of stress. Even with medication she has struggled. I have really had to use detachment with love because for year...	El	6	522	Jun 10, 2016 by El
	Introduction of myself to this online Al-Anon Family Group MIRACLES IN PROGRESS (Preview) Hello! I am Connie Sue. I first walked into the rooms of Al-Anon on April 3, 1995. I cried my first two years and was not sure of what I was getting myself into as it seemed that most everyone was happy! After deciding to get a sponsor, I took a leap of faith with beginning to learn and use the 12-Steps, I...	Connie Sue	7	618	Jun 10, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	pictures from the other day .. (Preview) These are my favorite shots that I have taken with my little camera phone .. LOL. I love black and white I wish I had a program that would add color .. I don't want to spend the money .. LOL!	SerenityRUS	8	601	Jun 10, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Things that make you go Hmm .. (Preview) Ok .. so I think I miss stepped with the guy I'm seeing .. nothing that can't be recovered from however UGH UGH UGH .. I am not good at the dating thing or talking to guys thing really. No that's not true .. I can talk to guys .. once they are there I don't know what to do with them .. LOL! There is some interestin...	SerenityRUS	8	650	Jun 10, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	What am I doing wrong? relapse boyfriend (Preview) Hi all, This is my first post, and I am not usually the type to share on a message board/not used to typing my feelings, so bare with me if I'm a little incoherent. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years; we are best friends, and I love him incredibly a lot. When we first started dating he was a heavy drinker...	Lady_NYC22	11	7995	Jun 9, 2016 by Jerry F
	Courage to Change (C2C) 6/9/16 (Preview) Today's reading discusses arrival at Step 7 in our program, Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. Many of us stumble on the word humble or humbly thinking that we did not need to be more humble! We often assumed we had been more than humble by putting others needs before our own constantly. Ho...	Iamhere	2	626	Jun 9, 2016 by Iamhere
	Finding it hard to trust (Preview) My AH has been sober for now a year and I still find it hard to trust that he hasn't taken a drink sometime this past year. I have been praying a lot this week and trying to refocus my attention on myself but I have also had a lot of anxiety. I am going on a trip in a few weeks to the West Coast for three nights and...	Jazzie18	7	584	Jun 9, 2016 by Iamhere
	Anyone else have this situation after the alcoholic gets sober? (Preview) Hello, I started going to Al-anon in 2010, and in 2011 I divorced my alcoholic husband. We lost our home with the divorce because of the recession. I also lost both my parents in 2008. Right after our divorce, my husband attempted suicide and went to the ER a couple of times, but they couldn't hold him bec...	joanlee	14	670	Jun 9, 2016 by Jerry F
	Just a Funny (Preview) So I just was sitting here laughing to myself in terms of funny story of the week kind of deal .. My son and I have an on-going spit ball war going on it's not really spit balls it's more like we are out at a restaurant and it's paper stuck in water and then we try to hit each other. It's completely my fault as I s...	SerenityRUS	2	387	Jun 9, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	What awareness? (Preview) My Higher Power has handed me another learning opportunity, another chance to know this disease in more detail. A chance to develop more of the good things like compassion, love, kindness, understanding. Theres another side of that. I know this disease is destructive to all it comes into contact w...	el-cee	5	579	Jun 8, 2016 by ClearTheFog
	No subject (Preview) This leaves me wide open for discussion. I am attempting to focus on what's important in my life. It seems that I have no complaints. Not even hot weather will shake me. I stand firm in my belief that you get what you give. I know that I alone can decide what works for me & what doesn't.	Hoot Nanny	1	418	Jun 8, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage to Change 8/6 (Preview) Todays C2C speaks of step 6- being entirely willing to have our defects removed- and the fact that we might cling to certain defects because we enjoy them on some level. It suggests revenge, and the plotting and planning of it as a potential example of a defect that might be hard to give up and suggests th...	missmeliss	5	431	Jun 8, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	How do I Excuse My First Al Anon Meeting? (Preview) I am only starting to come to terms with the fact that I'm in a relationship with an alcoholic. I got some advice from a friend and a therapist, and both think my partner is an alcoholic. I've been denying it, but am starting to really think it's true. I've only been reading about Al Anon and codependency f...	cricket21	5	653	Jun 8, 2016 by Jerry F
	Disruptive Members/Dominance/Mental Health Issues Disruptive members/Dominance/Mental Health Issues (Preview) I am curious as to how other groups handle members who decided to become disruptive to the meeting taking place. We've had this happen a few times and peacefully, try to redirect these people back to the topic. Sometimes, there are people who really enjoy interrupting other members that are shari...	Connie Sue	4	898	Jun 8, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today June 7 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about how some of us dealt with the alcoholism and As in our lives by shutting down our emotions completely. This reading focuses on grief and the importance of allowing ourselves to grieve. The reading points out that expressing grief allows us to heal. T...	yanksfan51	8	675	Jun 7, 2016 by hotrod
	When my husband does something very wrong, it feels like I am the one who did something wrong. (Preview) My husband suffers from bipolar and he self medicates with prescription drugs. I have become his caretaker. His Father and Mother are narcissus they feel he is bad and refuse to understand that he has a mental condition. He is a very gentle soul and is a good Father so I stay with him. Over the week...	lilydevine	2	572	Jun 7, 2016 by hotrod
	The Stranger (Preview) When I met my husband, we were both in AA. He was there for cocaine and I was there because I figured if you came from a family like mine, you would eventually BECOME alcoholic. And AA is an little bit like a hard-luck club - I loved the members of my family who were sober, but unless you were fully a part of th...	rainbojo66	7	597	Jun 7, 2016 by rainbojo66
	Little nugget has helped (Preview) Jerry said something that has stuck with me and has helped me. When we're dealing with, living with, addiction to alcohol or anything really then were not dealing with 'normal' and so our 'normal' thinking, solutions, tools, dont apply. I love the drinker in my life but they are different, requiring...	el-cee	3	556	Jun 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change Reading 6-6-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 6, speaks about justifying our own unacceptable behavior. It points out that we often excuse ourselves by claiming that we were provoked or have no other choice. We then dismiss our actions by telling ourselves that everyone does the same thing. I know that i did this often an...	hotrod	3	528	Jun 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	not sure how much space we need, am I going too fast (Preview) I have been in a long term relationship with my boyfriend for going on 3 years. He has been involved in AA and has been working on his sobriety since this past October, he has had his struggles and would be 9 months sober but is currently at 3.5 months. We have lived together throughout this. He works long h...	BAK	3	640	Jun 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	The Forum (Preview) This is the monthly Magazine of Al-Anon Family Groups and my wife and I subscribe...It is a great recovery tool for those affected by another persons drinking and using. Some of the entries are re-printable on the net and you can get all of the entries in the publication. It ships all over the planet...	Jerry F	5	2832	Jun 7, 2016 by Taraxacum
	Dating after divorce? (Preview) So it will be 2 years since splitting with my AW this September, and I have not gone on one date yet. Even my therapist is like dude...how bout a date..it's just a date! And in a weird reversal of roles it's ME getting HIM to chill. Granted it's been a busy stretch with divorce, finding a new place, movin...	littlelionman	13	1001	Jun 7, 2016 by Breakingfree
	I have no idea if I'm right or wrong (Preview) My friend recently got sober. She was a problem drinker...maybe on the road to alcoholism. I was proud of her for seeing that she could be on the verge of alcoholism and quit before it ruined her life. She's almost 90 days, and boasts her sobriety to anyone that will listen, which I understand that may ju...	ninja90cat	8	614	Jun 7, 2016 by a4l
	Learning the hard way (Preview) Don't even know how to start off here,had a really hard time thinking up a topic ,..im as weak as can be I can see that now ,I done great staying away from my xabf going on 2 Mths,then the texting started with me then comes the invite ,oh I would like to see ya,then the meet and then ending with I love your,whic...	lookingup	2	3835	Jun 6, 2016 by hotrod
	Relationships and Recovery (Preview) Can someone shed some light on this topic for me? I have heard several times "it's better for both people to do the recovery outside of the relationship so they can focus on themselves", so does this mean if I'm in a relationship, I should end it and go through the recovery and then identify if the relatio...	RKTreats	5	2783	Jun 6, 2016 by Butterfly125
	Would we have made a different choice (Preview) I never had children when I was married to the Alcoholic. We didn't want any, I didn't because I never wanted them to have an Alcoholic Father and he didn't because he didn't want any of them to grow up and be Alcoholics. Which his substance abuse became so bad after many years that he did Father twins fr...	Bettina2	25	1313	Jun 6, 2016 by Butterfly125
	He fell off the wagon (Preview) I'm new to the board here. Two years ago my DH hit rock bottom. It was an awful scene and a lot of verbal abuse. 2 of our 4 kids were home at the time and got to witness it.... He let us get him help. He went to a rehab but could only stay 3 days. Our insurance wouldn't pay and his work wasn't going to hold his j...	Shirley	17	9848	Jun 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Alanon Confuses Me (Preview) Ok so I have been following Al-Anon's advice for a few months and a few things do work, such as if he comes home drinking, I tend to go into another room or not engage with him, which has definitely kept me in control of my emotions. But I still don't like the fact however that the next day he is completely fin...	Aerin	13	814	Jun 6, 2016 by KT2015
	On the merrygoround (Preview) I'm back in time. After two years of not living with a drinker and living a good life. I'm back living with a drinker. It's sad. It's not even been two weeks yet and there's hidden cans, lies and my fear has kicked in. I also have turned mute. Can't seem to bring myself to phone my sponsor or an alanon person....	el-cee	6	662	Jun 6, 2016 by el-cee
	Courage to Change Reading -6-5-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 5, discusses the Third step. The reading points out that it is important that we pause and take the time to define our Higher Power.This Power must be one that we can trust loves us unconditionally . It suggests that once we have accepted that the destructive presence of...	hotrod	3	624	Jun 6, 2016 by hotrod
	Hello (Preview) Good Morning All It's been a while but I'm still alive and doing good. My son is doing great. I'ts been 3 month since his release and in that time has organized his life well. He has landed a great job ( making more money me!!! ) and will soon be on his own again. Getting his license back next month ( YAHOO...	Cathyinaz	19	892	Jun 5, 2016 by Cathyinaz
	Breathing into my future (Preview) I asked my AH tonight, "what kind of family are we? What are we building together?" Of course he had no answer, I think the question freaks him out because he had no idea who he wants to become, or what he wants to do. -- he left the room to play video games, then came back to bed and laid down to sleep without s...	Taraxacum	8	668	Jun 5, 2016 by tiredtonite
	Forum (Preview) How am I supposed to read these posts? All I see is a preview. Am I missing something?	joanlee	1	388	Jun 5, 2016 by Mirandac
	Baby Crawled Down the Hamper - All is Good... (Preview) For those of us who live with this disease, we spend so much time thinking and planning for the worse case scenario. I know I did before the program. The reality is things happen even when folks are doing what they are supposed to.... My AS1 who will celebrate one year tomorrow went to work this morning...	Iamhere	9	882	Jun 5, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	Am I Weak? (Preview) Ive had a very hard day today friends.. The IRS wants a bunch of money from me and my ex that I dont have.I went on a interview where I liked the job offered,money is crummy and it takes over an hr to get there up some creaky stairs. My guy took us to our fave thrift store and had a loud angry fight with another g...	YARNCRAZY	7	764	Jun 5, 2016 by sallyowens
	My life has changed since my husband stopped drinking (Preview) 9 years ago I met my husband, we had a brief relationship and then he moved onto somone else and had a child,he already had a child before this one, he used to drink quite alot at weekends at this point and smoke cannabis, we stayed good friends and eventually he discovered his partner was having an affair...	annie5079	17	963	Jun 5, 2016 by Jerry F
	Construction Cones/Dating (Preview) So someone brought up dating and divorce .. I had to be completely divorced before I decided to start going out again .. that's just me I prefer to just close a door as much as possible since we have kids together it will always be an issue of my ex will be somewhere in the background regardless if I like it or...	SerenityRUS	4	547	Jun 4, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change reading 6-4-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 4 speaks about the importance of the :" Second Step". The reading points out that this Step is about hope because with this Step, we come to believe that a Power Greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. We are asked to open our minds to the possibilities that help is a...	hotrod	1	601	Jun 4, 2016 by Iamhere
	Mother issues (Preview) I'm not struggling or torn really I'm just trying to sort out my feeling/s .. lol .. sometimes I joke I only have one to deal with I know that's not true however there are some situations where all I have got to give is ambivalence. That's a really odd space for me to be in because it's just empty. This is wh...	SerenityRUS	0	520	Jun 4, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	I am powerless, I am powerless, I am powerless... (Preview) Last night my AH and I got into a discussion about his drinking. It came up in a round about way where he asked me if I was calling him an alcoholic (even though I wasn't talking about him). I told him no I wasn't calling him an alcoholic in this instance I was talking about something else. Of course that l...	KT2015	6	577	Jun 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Is there a sign on my forehead??? (Preview) I think I must have a sign that says 'if you are alcoholic, I'm your girl!!!' Or maybe a t-shirt that reads, 'Kiss Me- I'm a Codependent!' I say this with a sense of humor but the reality is - why do I continue attracting these sorts in to my life? I have been spending some time with a guy friend that I dated b...	CyndiODAT	17	944	Jun 3, 2016 by Auryn
	Courage to Change (C2C) 6/2/16 (Preview) Today's reading comes from the perspective of a long-term Al-Anon member. The member reflects on her program, her experience and the power of how HP (Higher Power) has carried the message and the member. Through the program, the member has gathered a large supply of healthy positive experiences....	Iamhere	3	553	Jun 3, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Courage to Change (C2C) 6/3/16 (Preview) As I like to do, I am going to flip flop today a bit.... Today's Quote is so powerful ===== "Once we learned to see our situation as it really was, we understood why it was necessary for us to turn to a Power greater than ourselves." --- from Al-Anon's Twelve Steps & Twelve Tranitions Today's Reminder...	Iamhere	3	551	Jun 3, 2016 by sweetness34
	My son...... (Preview) My son and I have recently moved in with my boyfriend and his 2 young girls. My boyfriend is former military (6 years in the Army and he had commanded 300 recruits at one point while he served: I believe he was a Captain)....anyway, he has a mentality that is: boys should be raised by their fathers to be me...	andromeda	19	952	Jun 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Expectations (Preview) After reading today's reading that speaks about expectations and resentment, I find myself questioning a lot of things. I know we can apply the Al-Anon principles to all aspects of our lives, so I find myself asking....."If I am not supposed to have expectations, then does that mean I have to settle f...	RKTreats	4	577	Jun 3, 2016 by hotrod
	The facts of alcoholic/addict (Preview) Here's a few of my facts that I've found of the alcoholic/addict: their master manupulaters,they lie,cheat, And please do add your facts that you have found???? I'm sure there's more . Thanks for listening just felt like I needed to post this......hugs lu	lookingup	7	646	Jun 3, 2016 by lookingup
	Examing motive (Preview) Since my AH was diagnosed in early May with alcohol induced hepatitis, he seems to have made an attempt to cut back, but has not stopped drinking. I have said very little and anything I have said, it has been brief and factual. Something kept nagging at me however. My A doesn't use a computer, has no desi...	El	2	539	Jun 3, 2016 by El
	My First Official Night as a Member of the Club (Preview) So here I am. It's ten o'clock at night on Wednesday, a time I would normally either be texting my alcoholic ex goodnight or just leaving his house. Sometimes, I feel lost. It's only been a few days that I've wandered various support sites, including this one. I've read quite a few stories, some more dra...	OpheliasBabyDoll	12	730	Jun 2, 2016 by RKTreats
	First time poster---How do you know when you're done? (Preview) Hello All...this post is a long time coming. I have been with my alcoholic boyfriend for 8.5 years, 3 trips to rehab, hours and hours of meetings, YEARS of aftercare, countless visits to the hospital, a D.U.I., and yet here I still am. My ABF has been in and out of AA for most of our relationship and has ha...	Emily W	2	575	Jun 2, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Another way to take care of me... (Preview) After another night of constant disruptions due to my AH drinking, I have decided today to prepare our guest room for a treasured guest...ME!! I am going to convert that guest room in to an oasis of relaxing comfort for myself for these times when sleeping in my own room is not serving me well. I am buyi...	Bethany66	5	591	Jun 2, 2016 by Freetime
	Vulnerable and desperate (Preview) I had read someone's post where they mentioned they needed to be vulnerable and desperate,in their situation in order to recover,I'm not understanding this for when I was vulnerable and desper I was at my also scariest also of being weak to another bad relationship,so that being where I don't want to...	lookingup	0	441	Jun 2, 2016 by lookingup
	DOES ANYONE ELSE HATE BEER COMMERCIALS!!!??? (Preview) Anyone else feel this way? I am so sick and tired of how they portray beer in commercials (even the Whiskey ones with Mila Kunis now! Like its all sexy for your man to be downing a few) In a new Light one they are obviously targeting 20 somethings, showing happy, super fit girls in bikinis holding a be...	Aerin	10	712	Jun 2, 2016 by Aerin
	On vacation - nerves getting me - struggling with taking care of ME! (Preview) Hello my MIP family, I am currently in Maui, Hawaii on a "vacation of a lifetime" and (after a quite rocky start) enjoying myself to the best of my ability. I am struggling with some things though and have been trying to use my program to help me with them. First, a family member (the one footing the majo...	Doingmybest	6	720	Jun 2, 2016 by Doingmybest
	How much is too much? (Preview) Hi everyone. New member here. My Wife has been struggling with alcoholism for about 4 years now. She did a 30 day inpatient 4 years ago and has been going off and on to AA meetings. She just got caught at work (medical field)stealing meds and using them at work. Ive been told shes done this for about a year....	Paintballer	3	657	Jun 2, 2016 by Mirandac
	New, Scared and Embarrassed. Q re: Anonymity (Preview) Hi Everyone, I'm been reading through page after page here and am finally ready to head to my first f2f meeting tonight. I'm both pleased to be going and scared at the same time. After years of trying to force life into a mold of my design and pretending to everyone around me that I'm really successful at i...	BetterBunny	9	1026	Jun 2, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Insanity- all things old are new again (Preview) hi everyone- My A has been sober 18 days, but has been in the hospital the last week. My mind has been in a virtual fog the last week, trying to run my spouse's business and working my job and juggling everything. I'm exhausted. And today a bit emotional. I was talking to my A on the phone to see what she ne...	gabigail	2	616	Jun 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	Why do I feel angry and embarrassed? (Preview) My AH is two months sober in AA and our home environment is much improved. He is working hard and I can see the big changes. This past weekend we were invited to stay with my sister and her fiancee. My AH, sister, nephew and dad (along with a few others) attended the Indy 500 to celebrate my Dad's birthday. T...	CoopsMom	7	847	Jun 1, 2016 by Mirandac
	Courage to Change 1/6 (Preview) Todays c2c discusses the very wise notion that "an expectation is a premeditated resentment". It goes on to say that when resentment is felt, we can look to our own expectations as a likely source. The reading reminds us that we have the right to define our own standards but that we do not have the right t...	missmeliss	4	582	Jun 1, 2016 by sweetness34
	New to forum...married to an emotionally abusive dry drunk and need advice (Preview) I'm 65 years old and have been married for 25 years to my ah. He always drank, but it got worse with time and around 3 years ago his drunken rage caused me to leave the house and go to a hotel. The next day I told him to get sober or get out so he started meetings and got sober. At first life seemed to improv...	Ddw7415	11	1069	May 31, 2016 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.