Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Minniegirl · Minniegirl

Why is it that I keep beating a dead horse. I never seem to learn. I.ve been married to my AH for 28 years now. And come from a family of drinkers. I guess it.s what I know and maybe comfortable with. This website is great and i.ve been here before. But then I quit coming. I have it in my head that I can st...

John · John

Thanks to Betty, erin, and ken ours site hosting cost is now covered for a year again. Thank each of you for stepping forward and helping me with this situation. I have spent the last few weeks pretty sick with a 3 day stay in hospital, so things just got away from me completely. Now trying to bring things b...

John · John

Dear Friends, I finally started to get some medical help with my daily anxiety attacks, plus bad diarrhea as a symptom of the anxiety attacks, severe depression, chronic fatigue, and my respiratory system being so bad. I was in the hospital for 3 days just a few weeks ago. It appears that most everythi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Funerals stink! 52 sad, mentally ill, sad, drug addict sad, alcoholic sad. SUICIDE, sad. What more can I say? I can relate to the mental illness part. It is just so sad that people who really didn't know her thought she was the crazy lady in our town. I am not much different. If I had the addictions that she...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c refers to step 11, where we seek to improve conscious contact with our HP through prayer and meditation. The reading suggests that how we go about identifying our HP at work in our lives is up to us entirely but it is important that one way or another, we do so if we wish to have the courage to cha...

el-cee · el-cee

I learned in this program that when I put the word 'should' in front of anything Im about to say then Im being judgemental. Who am I to decide what another human being in this world (minus children) should be doing or not doing. If we are following this spiritual program then how do we know what is right or w...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

Hello all, I've not posted in quite awhile but am reaching out to you all for support. I am married 25 years to my AH. We go round and round the alcohol merry-go-round. The lies, being impaired when I expect him to care for the children, driving under the influence, avoidance, smoothing over...polite r...

blindsided · blindsided

My AH is really wearing me down. He tells me he has had a good life and is ready to die, so will not quit drinking. He is mentally abusive to me. He snaps at me all the time. He has urine and bowel incontinence, back problems, heart problems, emphysema (keeps smoking). I can't help it, but sometimes I j...

Jerry F · Jerry F

You all get an A for the proper answer....I get tired of loosing control because of a basketball game thousands of miles away, completely out of my control is being played and referred not to my liking...good I got u p from the sofa and left the room because I still don't do judgement and active resentm...

Dinger045 · Dinger045

Before you read this I want you to know that I write this today for my healing and my coping with having lived with an addict. This is not here to tell you how to feel, or how to make a decision in your life, and it is by no means direction on how to deal with living with an addict. This is just my story, that I fe...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Ohhh I'm in such an ornery mood. I'm sitting in Starbucks at the big table and this young woman sat down at the big table I'm at which honestly don't care about that however RUDE MUCH!? She has slammed things trying to get my attention and let me know she's irritated that I have the nerve to use two of the p...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 12 speaks about the 10th step and suggest making it part of our daily routine as It is a gentle, warm and loving way to take care of ourselves. The steps help us to learn that living one day at a time, facing all issues honestly and with courage we will grow in spirituality and co...

Mirandac · Mirandac

i am a member of recovering doormats and proud of it. It took me a long time in alanon to get there though. I was very glad i could stand up for me by the time my xah left. i was ready for the fallout and Emotionally stronger to cope. i still struggle with my emotional sobriety that is a work in process. I still...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t62267347/alanon-step-11-6-12-2016/

gabigail · gabigail

Hi everyone- My spouse has been sober now 28 days. Part of that was in the hospital, but she's been really committed to not drink and trying to make herself healthy, talking to a counselor and working on healing. She is still very sick physically and looks it still. It's a hard road. Anyway, she's come c...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Going to be lounging in Central Valley CA. for 3 weeks soon so I will be off of the board unless I bum my wife's IPad or something. Understand I am not a Continental U.S. person and even while I have family relatives living there I just am not into it. I will not complain. I am an island boy surrounded by...

poptart · poptart

I think my boyfriend may be alcoholic. He has a high stress c-suite job. He drinks 750ml of either tequila or bourbon in 2 nights. But he never gets violent or even angry. He gets up and goes to work every morning. So I question that I even question him. He slurs and stumbles. It worries me because I fear f...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I did it....the house is up for sale. First step to a new life Thank you all!!

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 11 talks about Step Nine. In this step we are asked to make direct amends to people we have injured. The reading points out the logical progression of the Steps, as it is in Step 8 where we learn what making "amends" means and become willing .to do so. Since these amends ar...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP family.....I type this morning with only one eye - my right eye is swollen shut. Yesterday, I went out to play softball - it is a program league and usually very fun and even spiritual. I was pitching and a guy hit a line shot back at me - I did not get the glove up and it tagged me hard on the fo...

MrsW · MrsW

I'm feeling lost and not sure if I'm the problem or if this is normal....my husband is a recovering alcoholic he did a 28 day inpatient and is now attending an outpatient program. He rarely shows me any affection since he's been home from rehab he came home the first week of May and we had sex twice the firs...

a4l · a4l

months ago, I really didn't know what colour of the sky was, I was so we wrapped up in insanity. Its amazing what even small changes can bring about and I'm grateful though still have a way to go. I was perpetually guilty feeling, always trying to accommodate crazy and not really even knowing why. The sma...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading in Courage to Change is about Step 8 - Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. Many of us look at this and pause, longer than necessary and many more are not ready/willing to consider making amends to some we have hurt. The reading suggests if...

Crau · Crau

Perspective taking is key to many things in my life. For me it helps to understand where people are coming from, where they have been and perhaps the motives behind their current choices. Having dated an alcoholic, who now is in recovery; I find this to be even more helpful as I try to navigate the rel...

SandyG · SandyG

I am really struggling with anger and sadness tonight. I have been working hard to work my program and put the focus on me tonight, but not doing a very good job of it. My AH was in recovery when we met and married so I never knew him as a drinker. In fact, he told me he didn't drink...he was in recovery from d...

El · El

My adult daughter is in recovery although I really have no idea if she has had any relapses. She suffers from depression and anxiety and has difficulty coping with even the smallest amount of stress. Even with medication she has struggled. I have really had to use detachment with love because for year...

Connie Sue · Connie Sue

Hello! I am Connie Sue. I first walked into the rooms of Al-Anon on April 3, 1995. I cried my first two years and was not sure of what I was getting myself into as it seemed that most everyone was happy! After deciding to get a sponsor, I took a leap of faith with beginning to learn and use the 12-Steps, I...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

These are my favorite shots that I have taken with my little camera phone .. LOL. I love black and white I wish I had a program that would add color .. I don't want to spend the money .. LOL!

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Ok .. so I think I miss stepped with the guy I'm seeing .. nothing that can't be recovered from however UGH UGH UGH .. I am not good at the dating thing or talking to guys thing really. No that's not true .. I can talk to guys .. once they are there I don't know what to do with them .. LOL! There is some interestin...

Lady_NYC22 · Lady_NYC22

Hi all, This is my first post, and I am not usually the type to share on a message board/not used to typing my feelings, so bare with me if I'm a little incoherent. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years; we are best friends, and I love him incredibly a lot. When we first started dating he was a heavy drinker...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses arrival at Step 7 in our program, Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. Many of us stumble on the word humble or humbly thinking that we did not need to be more humble! We often assumed we had been more than humble by putting others needs before our own constantly. Ho...

Jazzie18 · Jazzie18

My AH has been sober for now a year and I still find it hard to trust that he hasn't taken a drink sometime this past year. I have been praying a lot this week and trying to refocus my attention on myself but I have also had a lot of anxiety. I am going on a trip in a few weeks to the West Coast for three nights and...

joanlee · joanlee

Hello, I started going to Al-anon in 2010, and in 2011 I divorced my alcoholic husband. We lost our home with the divorce because of the recession. I also lost both my parents in 2008. Right after our divorce, my husband attempted suicide and went to the ER a couple of times, but they couldn't hold him bec...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I just was sitting here laughing to myself in terms of funny story of the week kind of deal .. My son and I have an on-going spit ball war going on it's not really spit balls it's more like we are out at a restaurant and it's paper stuck in water and then we try to hit each other. It's completely my fault as I s...

el-cee · el-cee

My Higher Power has handed me another learning opportunity, another chance to know this disease in more detail. A chance to develop more of the good things like compassion, love, kindness, understanding. Theres another side of that. I know this disease is destructive to all it comes into contact w...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

This leaves me wide open for discussion. I am attempting to focus on what's important in my life. It seems that I have no complaints. Not even hot weather will shake me. I stand firm in my belief that you get what you give. I know that I alone can decide what works for me & what doesn't.

missmeliss · missmeliss

Todays C2C speaks of step 6- being entirely willing to have our defects removed- and the fact that we might cling to certain defects because we enjoy them on some level. It suggests revenge, and the plotting and planning of it as a potential example of a defect that might be hard to give up and suggests th...

cricket21 · cricket21

I am only starting to come to terms with the fact that I'm in a relationship with an alcoholic. I got some advice from a friend and a therapist, and both think my partner is an alcoholic. I've been denying it, but am starting to really think it's true. I've only been reading about Al Anon and codependency f...

Connie Sue · Connie Sue

I am curious as to how other groups handle members who decided to become disruptive to the meeting taking place. We've had this happen a few times and peacefully, try to redirect these people back to the topic. Sometimes, there are people who really enjoy interrupting other members that are shari...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about how some of us dealt with the alcoholism and As in our lives by shutting down our emotions completely. This reading focuses on grief and the importance of allowing ourselves to grieve. The reading points out that expressing grief allows us to heal. T...

lilydevine · lilydevine

My husband suffers from bipolar and he self medicates with prescription drugs. I have become his caretaker. His Father and Mother are narcissus they feel he is bad and refuse to understand that he has a mental condition. He is a very gentle soul and is a good Father so I stay with him. Over the week...

rainbojo66 · rainbojo66

When I met my husband, we were both in AA. He was there for cocaine and I was there because I figured if you came from a family like mine, you would eventually BECOME alcoholic. And AA is an little bit like a hard-luck club - I loved the members of my family who were sober, but unless you were fully a part of th...

el-cee · el-cee

Jerry said something that has stuck with me and has helped me. When we're dealing with, living with, addiction to alcohol or anything really then were not dealing with 'normal' and so our 'normal' thinking, solutions, tools, dont apply. I love the drinker in my life but they are different, requiring...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 6, speaks about justifying our own unacceptable behavior. It points out that we often excuse ourselves by claiming that we were provoked or have no other choice. We then dismiss our actions by telling ourselves that everyone does the same thing. I know that i did this often an...

BAK · BAK

I have been in a long term relationship with my boyfriend for going on 3 years. He has been involved in AA and has been working on his sobriety since this past October, he has had his struggles and would be 9 months sober but is currently at 3.5 months. We have lived together throughout this. He works long h...

Jerry F · Jerry F

This is the monthly Magazine of Al-Anon Family Groups and my wife and I subscribe...It is a great recovery tool for those affected by another persons drinking and using. Some of the entries are re-printable on the net and you can get all of the entries in the publication. It ships all over the planet...

littlelionman · littlelionman

So it will be 2 years since splitting with my AW this September, and I have not gone on one date yet. Even my therapist is like dude...how bout a date..it's just a date! And in a weird reversal of roles it's ME getting HIM to chill. Granted it's been a busy stretch with divorce, finding a new place, movin...

ninja90cat · ninja90cat

My friend recently got sober. She was a problem drinker...maybe on the road to alcoholism. I was proud of her for seeing that she could be on the verge of alcoholism and quit before it ruined her life. She's almost 90 days, and boasts her sobriety to anyone that will listen, which I understand that may ju...

lookingup · lookingup

Don't even know how to start off here,had a really hard time thinking up a topic ,..im as weak as can be I can see that now ,I done great staying away from my xabf going on 2 Mths,then the texting started with me then comes the invite ,oh I would like to see ya,then the meet and then ending with I love your,whic...

RKTreats · RKTreats

Can someone shed some light on this topic for me? I have heard several times "it's better for both people to do the recovery outside of the relationship so they can focus on themselves", so does this mean if I'm in a relationship, I should end it and go through the recovery and then identify if the relatio...

Bettina2 · Bettina2

I never had children when I was married to the Alcoholic. We didn't want any, I didn't because I never wanted them to have an Alcoholic Father and he didn't because he didn't want any of them to grow up and be Alcoholics. Which his substance abuse became so bad after many years that he did Father twins fr...

Shirley · Shirley

I'm new to the board here. Two years ago my DH hit rock bottom. It was an awful scene and a lot of verbal abuse. 2 of our 4 kids were home at the time and got to witness it.... He let us get him help. He went to a rehab but could only stay 3 days. Our insurance wouldn't pay and his work wasn't going to hold his j...

Aerin · Aerin

Ok so I have been following Al-Anon's advice for a few months and a few things do work, such as if he comes home drinking, I tend to go into another room or not engage with him, which has definitely kept me in control of my emotions. But I still don't like the fact however that the next day he is completely fin...

el-cee · el-cee

I'm back in time. After two years of not living with a drinker and living a good life. I'm back living with a drinker. It's sad. It's not even been two weeks yet and there's hidden cans, lies and my fear has kicked in. I also have turned mute. Can't seem to bring myself to phone my sponsor or an alanon person....

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 5, discusses the Third step. The reading points out that it is important that we pause and take the time to define our Higher Power.This Power must be one that we can trust loves us unconditionally . It suggests that once we have accepted that the destructive presence of...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning All It's been a while but I'm still alive and doing good. My son is doing great. I'ts been 3 month since his release and in that time has organized his life well. He has landed a great job ( making more money me!!! ) and will soon be on his own again. Getting his license back next month ( YAHOO...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

I asked my AH tonight, "what kind of family are we? What are we building together?" Of course he had no answer, I think the question freaks him out because he had no idea who he wants to become, or what he wants to do. -- he left the room to play video games, then came back to bed and laid down to sleep without s...

joanlee · joanlee

How am I supposed to read these posts? All I see is a preview. Am I missing something?

Iamhere · Iamhere

For those of us who live with this disease, we spend so much time thinking and planning for the worse case scenario. I know I did before the program. The reality is things happen even when folks are doing what they are supposed to.... My AS1 who will celebrate one year tomorrow went to work this morning...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Ive had a very hard day today friends.. The IRS wants a bunch of money from me and my ex that I dont have.I went on a interview where I liked the job offered,money is crummy and it takes over an hr to get there up some creaky stairs. My guy took us to our fave thrift store and had a loud angry fight with another g...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	One more time (Preview) Why is it that I keep beating a dead horse. I never seem to learn. I.ve been married to my AH for 28 years now. And come from a family of drinkers. I guess it.s what I know and maybe comfortable with. This website is great and i.ve been here before. But then I quit coming. I have it in my head that I can st...	Minniegirl	5	416	Jun 14, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Site back up (Preview) Thanks to Betty, erin, and ken ours site hosting cost is now covered for a year again. Thank each of you for stepping forward and helping me with this situation. I have spent the last few weeks pretty sick with a 3 day stay in hospital, so things just got away from me completely. Now trying to bring things b...	John	6	654	Jun 14, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	my status lately... (Preview) Dear Friends, I finally started to get some medical help with my daily anxiety attacks, plus bad diarrhea as a symptom of the anxiety attacks, severe depression, chronic fatigue, and my respiratory system being so bad. I was in the hospital for 3 days just a few weeks ago. It appears that most everythi...	John	10	588	Jun 13, 2016 by wp
	funerals & memories (Preview) Funerals stink! 52 sad, mentally ill, sad, drug addict sad, alcoholic sad. SUICIDE, sad. What more can I say? I can relate to the mental illness part. It is just so sad that people who really didn't know her thought she was the crazy lady in our town. I am not much different. If I had the addictions that she...	Hoot Nanny	1	394	Jun 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage To Change 13/6 (Preview) Today's c2c refers to step 11, where we seek to improve conscious contact with our HP through prayer and meditation. The reading suggests that how we go about identifying our HP at work in our lives is up to us entirely but it is important that one way or another, we do so if we wish to have the courage to cha...	missmeliss	2	408	Jun 13, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Should-ing (Preview) I learned in this program that when I put the word 'should' in front of anything Im about to say then Im being judgemental. Who am I to decide what another human being in this world (minus children) should be doing or not doing. If we are following this spiritual program then how do we know what is right or w...	el-cee	4	469	Jun 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	I am weary (Preview) Hello all, I've not posted in quite awhile but am reaching out to you all for support. I am married 25 years to my AH. We go round and round the alcohol merry-go-round. The lies, being impaired when I expect him to care for the children, driving under the influence, avoidance, smoothing over...polite r...	newleaf66	8	466	Jun 13, 2016 by newleaf66
	What to do? (Preview) My AH is really wearing me down. He tells me he has had a good life and is ready to die, so will not quit drinking. He is mentally abusive to me. He snaps at me all the time. He has urine and bowel incontinence, back problems, heart problems, emphysema (keeps smoking). I can't help it, but sometimes I j...	blindsided	9	538	Jun 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	Can I still lose my composure and get out of hand?? (Preview) You all get an A for the proper answer....I get tired of loosing control because of a basketball game thousands of miles away, completely out of my control is being played and referred not to my liking...good I got u p from the sofa and left the room because I still don't do judgement and active resentm...	Jerry F	7	505	Jun 12, 2016 by Jerry F
	How do you pick up the strands of an unwoven life? (Preview) Before you read this I want you to know that I write this today for my healing and my coping with having lived with an addict. This is not here to tell you how to feel, or how to make a decision in your life, and it is by no means direction on how to deal with living with an addict. This is just my story, that I fe...	Dinger045	6	574	Jun 12, 2016 by likemyheart
	Ornery Mood .. (Preview) Ohhh I'm in such an ornery mood. I'm sitting in Starbucks at the big table and this young woman sat down at the big table I'm at which honestly don't care about that however RUDE MUCH!? She has slammed things trying to get my attention and let me know she's irritated that I have the nerve to use two of the p...	SerenityRUS	0	1631	Jun 12, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	C2C reading for 6-12 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 12 speaks about the 10th step and suggest making it part of our daily routine as It is a gentle, warm and loving way to take care of ourselves. The steps help us to learn that living one day at a time, facing all issues honestly and with courage we will grow in spirituality and co...	hotrod	1	297	Jun 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	recovering doormat (Preview) i am a member of recovering doormats and proud of it. It took me a long time in alanon to get there though. I was very glad i could stand up for me by the time my xah left. i was ready for the fallout and Emotionally stronger to cope. i still struggle with my emotional sobriety that is a work in process. I still...	Mirandac	18	757	Jun 12, 2016 by Mirandac
	Step 11 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t62267347/alanon-step-11-6-12-2016/	hotrod	0	337	Jun 11, 2016 by hotrod
	Dealing with friend "support" while A is sober Sober support friends (Preview) Hi everyone- My spouse has been sober now 28 days. Part of that was in the hospital, but she's been really committed to not drink and trying to make herself healthy, talking to a counselor and working on healing. She is still very sick physically and looks it still. It's a hard road. Anyway, she's come c...	gabigail	6	3327	Jun 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	will be West Coasting in June - July (Preview) Going to be lounging in Central Valley CA. for 3 weeks soon so I will be off of the board unless I bum my wife's IPad or something. Understand I am not a Continental U.S. person and even while I have family relatives living there I just am not into it. I will not complain. I am an island boy surrounded by...	Jerry F	14	613	Jun 11, 2016 by Jerry F
	Help :( (Preview) I think my boyfriend may be alcoholic. He has a high stress c-suite job. He drinks 750ml of either tequila or bourbon in 2 nights. But he never gets violent or even angry. He gets up and goes to work every morning. So I question that I even question him. He slurs and stumbles. It worries me because I fear f...	poptart	8	648	Jun 11, 2016 by Jerry F
	House is up for Sale (Preview) I did it....the house is up for sale. First step to a new life Thank you all!!	Cathyinaz	19	765	Jun 11, 2016 by LinSC
	Courage to Change Reading 6-11-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 11 talks about Step Nine. In this step we are asked to make direct amends to people we have injured. The reading points out the logical progression of the Steps, as it is in Step 8 where we learn what making "amends" means and become willing .to do so. Since these amends ar...	hotrod	2	397	Jun 11, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Ball to the Head......Prayers Welcome (Preview) Good morning MIP family.....I type this morning with only one eye - my right eye is swollen shut. Yesterday, I went out to play softball - it is a program league and usually very fun and even spiritual. I was pitching and a guy hit a line shot back at me - I did not get the glove up and it tagged me hard on the fo...	Iamhere	25	700	Jun 11, 2016 by Cathyinaz
	No affection/sex (Preview) I'm feeling lost and not sure if I'm the problem or if this is normal....my husband is a recovering alcoholic he did a 28 day inpatient and is now attending an outpatient program. He rarely shows me any affection since he's been home from rehab he came home the first week of May and we had sex twice the firs...	MrsW	16	1029	Jun 11, 2016 by Jerry F
	growth (Preview) months ago, I really didn't know what colour of the sky was, I was so we wrapped up in insanity. Its amazing what even small changes can bring about and I'm grateful though still have a way to go. I was perpetually guilty feeling, always trying to accommodate crazy and not really even knowing why. The sma...	a4l	4	417	Jun 11, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Courage to Change (C2C) 6/10/2016 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change is about Step 8 - Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. Many of us look at this and pause, longer than necessary and many more are not ready/willing to consider making amends to some we have hurt. The reading suggests if...	Iamhere	4	416	Jun 10, 2016 by hotrod
	perspective (Preview) Perspective taking is key to many things in my life. For me it helps to understand where people are coming from, where they have been and perhaps the motives behind their current choices. Having dated an alcoholic, who now is in recovery; I find this to be even more helpful as I try to navigate the rel...	Crau	4	745	Jun 10, 2016 by hotrod
	Struggling and angry (Preview) I am really struggling with anger and sadness tonight. I have been working hard to work my program and put the focus on me tonight, but not doing a very good job of it. My AH was in recovery when we met and married so I never knew him as a drinker. In fact, he told me he didn't drink...he was in recovery from d...	SandyG	5	477	Jun 10, 2016 by Mirandac
	Detaching (Preview) My adult daughter is in recovery although I really have no idea if she has had any relapses. She suffers from depression and anxiety and has difficulty coping with even the smallest amount of stress. Even with medication she has struggled. I have really had to use detachment with love because for year...	El	6	408	Jun 10, 2016 by El
	Introduction of myself to this online Al-Anon Family Group MIRACLES IN PROGRESS (Preview) Hello! I am Connie Sue. I first walked into the rooms of Al-Anon on April 3, 1995. I cried my first two years and was not sure of what I was getting myself into as it seemed that most everyone was happy! After deciding to get a sponsor, I took a leap of faith with beginning to learn and use the 12-Steps, I...	Connie Sue	7	501	Jun 10, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	pictures from the other day .. (Preview) These are my favorite shots that I have taken with my little camera phone .. LOL. I love black and white I wish I had a program that would add color .. I don't want to spend the money .. LOL!	SerenityRUS	8	505	Jun 10, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Things that make you go Hmm .. (Preview) Ok .. so I think I miss stepped with the guy I'm seeing .. nothing that can't be recovered from however UGH UGH UGH .. I am not good at the dating thing or talking to guys thing really. No that's not true .. I can talk to guys .. once they are there I don't know what to do with them .. LOL! There is some interestin...	SerenityRUS	8	538	Jun 10, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	What am I doing wrong? relapse boyfriend (Preview) Hi all, This is my first post, and I am not usually the type to share on a message board/not used to typing my feelings, so bare with me if I'm a little incoherent. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years; we are best friends, and I love him incredibly a lot. When we first started dating he was a heavy drinker...	Lady_NYC22	11	6615	Jun 9, 2016 by Jerry F
	Courage to Change (C2C) 6/9/16 (Preview) Today's reading discusses arrival at Step 7 in our program, Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. Many of us stumble on the word humble or humbly thinking that we did not need to be more humble! We often assumed we had been more than humble by putting others needs before our own constantly. Ho...	Iamhere	2	437	Jun 9, 2016 by Iamhere
	Finding it hard to trust (Preview) My AH has been sober for now a year and I still find it hard to trust that he hasn't taken a drink sometime this past year. I have been praying a lot this week and trying to refocus my attention on myself but I have also had a lot of anxiety. I am going on a trip in a few weeks to the West Coast for three nights and...	Jazzie18	7	477	Jun 9, 2016 by Iamhere
	Anyone else have this situation after the alcoholic gets sober? (Preview) Hello, I started going to Al-anon in 2010, and in 2011 I divorced my alcoholic husband. We lost our home with the divorce because of the recession. I also lost both my parents in 2008. Right after our divorce, my husband attempted suicide and went to the ER a couple of times, but they couldn't hold him bec...	joanlee	14	562	Jun 9, 2016 by Jerry F
	Just a Funny (Preview) So I just was sitting here laughing to myself in terms of funny story of the week kind of deal .. My son and I have an on-going spit ball war going on it's not really spit balls it's more like we are out at a restaurant and it's paper stuck in water and then we try to hit each other. It's completely my fault as I s...	SerenityRUS	2	285	Jun 9, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	What awareness? (Preview) My Higher Power has handed me another learning opportunity, another chance to know this disease in more detail. A chance to develop more of the good things like compassion, love, kindness, understanding. Theres another side of that. I know this disease is destructive to all it comes into contact w...	el-cee	5	469	Jun 8, 2016 by ClearTheFog
	No subject (Preview) This leaves me wide open for discussion. I am attempting to focus on what's important in my life. It seems that I have no complaints. Not even hot weather will shake me. I stand firm in my belief that you get what you give. I know that I alone can decide what works for me & what doesn't.	Hoot Nanny	1	316	Jun 8, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage to Change 8/6 (Preview) Todays C2C speaks of step 6- being entirely willing to have our defects removed- and the fact that we might cling to certain defects because we enjoy them on some level. It suggests revenge, and the plotting and planning of it as a potential example of a defect that might be hard to give up and suggests th...	missmeliss	5	324	Jun 8, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	How do I Excuse My First Al Anon Meeting? (Preview) I am only starting to come to terms with the fact that I'm in a relationship with an alcoholic. I got some advice from a friend and a therapist, and both think my partner is an alcoholic. I've been denying it, but am starting to really think it's true. I've only been reading about Al Anon and codependency f...	cricket21	5	538	Jun 8, 2016 by Jerry F
	Disruptive Members/Dominance/Mental Health Issues Disruptive members/Dominance/Mental Health Issues (Preview) I am curious as to how other groups handle members who decided to become disruptive to the meeting taking place. We've had this happen a few times and peacefully, try to redirect these people back to the topic. Sometimes, there are people who really enjoy interrupting other members that are shari...	Connie Sue	4	684	Jun 8, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today June 7 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about how some of us dealt with the alcoholism and As in our lives by shutting down our emotions completely. This reading focuses on grief and the importance of allowing ourselves to grieve. The reading points out that expressing grief allows us to heal. T...	yanksfan51	8	572	Jun 7, 2016 by hotrod
	When my husband does something very wrong, it feels like I am the one who did something wrong. (Preview) My husband suffers from bipolar and he self medicates with prescription drugs. I have become his caretaker. His Father and Mother are narcissus they feel he is bad and refuse to understand that he has a mental condition. He is a very gentle soul and is a good Father so I stay with him. Over the week...	lilydevine	2	453	Jun 7, 2016 by hotrod
	The Stranger (Preview) When I met my husband, we were both in AA. He was there for cocaine and I was there because I figured if you came from a family like mine, you would eventually BECOME alcoholic. And AA is an little bit like a hard-luck club - I loved the members of my family who were sober, but unless you were fully a part of th...	rainbojo66	7	468	Jun 7, 2016 by rainbojo66
	Little nugget has helped (Preview) Jerry said something that has stuck with me and has helped me. When we're dealing with, living with, addiction to alcohol or anything really then were not dealing with 'normal' and so our 'normal' thinking, solutions, tools, dont apply. I love the drinker in my life but they are different, requiring...	el-cee	3	421	Jun 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change Reading 6-6-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 6, speaks about justifying our own unacceptable behavior. It points out that we often excuse ourselves by claiming that we were provoked or have no other choice. We then dismiss our actions by telling ourselves that everyone does the same thing. I know that i did this often an...	hotrod	3	422	Jun 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	not sure how much space we need, am I going too fast (Preview) I have been in a long term relationship with my boyfriend for going on 3 years. He has been involved in AA and has been working on his sobriety since this past October, he has had his struggles and would be 9 months sober but is currently at 3.5 months. We have lived together throughout this. He works long h...	BAK	3	511	Jun 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	The Forum (Preview) This is the monthly Magazine of Al-Anon Family Groups and my wife and I subscribe...It is a great recovery tool for those affected by another persons drinking and using. Some of the entries are re-printable on the net and you can get all of the entries in the publication. It ships all over the planet...	Jerry F	5	2499	Jun 7, 2016 by Taraxacum
	Dating after divorce? (Preview) So it will be 2 years since splitting with my AW this September, and I have not gone on one date yet. Even my therapist is like dude...how bout a date..it's just a date! And in a weird reversal of roles it's ME getting HIM to chill. Granted it's been a busy stretch with divorce, finding a new place, movin...	littlelionman	13	857	Jun 7, 2016 by Breakingfree
	I have no idea if I'm right or wrong (Preview) My friend recently got sober. She was a problem drinker...maybe on the road to alcoholism. I was proud of her for seeing that she could be on the verge of alcoholism and quit before it ruined her life. She's almost 90 days, and boasts her sobriety to anyone that will listen, which I understand that may ju...	ninja90cat	8	504	Jun 7, 2016 by a4l
	Learning the hard way (Preview) Don't even know how to start off here,had a really hard time thinking up a topic ,..im as weak as can be I can see that now ,I done great staying away from my xabf going on 2 Mths,then the texting started with me then comes the invite ,oh I would like to see ya,then the meet and then ending with I love your,whic...	lookingup	2	3208	Jun 6, 2016 by hotrod
	Relationships and Recovery (Preview) Can someone shed some light on this topic for me? I have heard several times "it's better for both people to do the recovery outside of the relationship so they can focus on themselves", so does this mean if I'm in a relationship, I should end it and go through the recovery and then identify if the relatio...	RKTreats	5	2463	Jun 6, 2016 by Butterfly125
	Would we have made a different choice (Preview) I never had children when I was married to the Alcoholic. We didn't want any, I didn't because I never wanted them to have an Alcoholic Father and he didn't because he didn't want any of them to grow up and be Alcoholics. Which his substance abuse became so bad after many years that he did Father twins fr...	Bettina2	25	1203	Jun 6, 2016 by Butterfly125
	He fell off the wagon (Preview) I'm new to the board here. Two years ago my DH hit rock bottom. It was an awful scene and a lot of verbal abuse. 2 of our 4 kids were home at the time and got to witness it.... He let us get him help. He went to a rehab but could only stay 3 days. Our insurance wouldn't pay and his work wasn't going to hold his j...	Shirley	17	9344	Jun 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Alanon Confuses Me (Preview) Ok so I have been following Al-Anon's advice for a few months and a few things do work, such as if he comes home drinking, I tend to go into another room or not engage with him, which has definitely kept me in control of my emotions. But I still don't like the fact however that the next day he is completely fin...	Aerin	13	692	Jun 6, 2016 by KT2015
	On the merrygoround (Preview) I'm back in time. After two years of not living with a drinker and living a good life. I'm back living with a drinker. It's sad. It's not even been two weeks yet and there's hidden cans, lies and my fear has kicked in. I also have turned mute. Can't seem to bring myself to phone my sponsor or an alanon person....	el-cee	6	561	Jun 6, 2016 by el-cee
	Courage to Change Reading -6-5-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 5, discusses the Third step. The reading points out that it is important that we pause and take the time to define our Higher Power.This Power must be one that we can trust loves us unconditionally . It suggests that once we have accepted that the destructive presence of...	hotrod	3	490	Jun 6, 2016 by hotrod
	Hello (Preview) Good Morning All It's been a while but I'm still alive and doing good. My son is doing great. I'ts been 3 month since his release and in that time has organized his life well. He has landed a great job ( making more money me!!! ) and will soon be on his own again. Getting his license back next month ( YAHOO...	Cathyinaz	19	780	Jun 5, 2016 by Cathyinaz
	Breathing into my future (Preview) I asked my AH tonight, "what kind of family are we? What are we building together?" Of course he had no answer, I think the question freaks him out because he had no idea who he wants to become, or what he wants to do. -- he left the room to play video games, then came back to bed and laid down to sleep without s...	Taraxacum	8	556	Jun 5, 2016 by tiredtonite
	Forum (Preview) How am I supposed to read these posts? All I see is a preview. Am I missing something?	joanlee	1	277	Jun 5, 2016 by Mirandac
	Baby Crawled Down the Hamper - All is Good... (Preview) For those of us who live with this disease, we spend so much time thinking and planning for the worse case scenario. I know I did before the program. The reality is things happen even when folks are doing what they are supposed to.... My AS1 who will celebrate one year tomorrow went to work this morning...	Iamhere	9	770	Jun 5, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	Am I Weak? (Preview) Ive had a very hard day today friends.. The IRS wants a bunch of money from me and my ex that I dont have.I went on a interview where I liked the job offered,money is crummy and it takes over an hr to get there up some creaky stairs. My guy took us to our fave thrift store and had a loud angry fight with another g...	YARNCRAZY	7	648	Jun 5, 2016 by sallyowens
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.