Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 6, speaks about justifying our own unacceptable behavior. It points out that we often excuse ourselves by claiming that we were provoked or have no other choice. We then dismiss our actions by telling ourselves that everyone does the same thing. I know that i did this often an...

BAK · BAK

I have been in a long term relationship with my boyfriend for going on 3 years. He has been involved in AA and has been working on his sobriety since this past October, he has had his struggles and would be 9 months sober but is currently at 3.5 months. We have lived together throughout this. He works long h...

Jerry F · Jerry F

This is the monthly Magazine of Al-Anon Family Groups and my wife and I subscribe...It is a great recovery tool for those affected by another persons drinking and using. Some of the entries are re-printable on the net and you can get all of the entries in the publication. It ships all over the planet...

littlelionman · littlelionman

So it will be 2 years since splitting with my AW this September, and I have not gone on one date yet. Even my therapist is like dude...how bout a date..it's just a date! And in a weird reversal of roles it's ME getting HIM to chill. Granted it's been a busy stretch with divorce, finding a new place, movin...

ninja90cat · ninja90cat

My friend recently got sober. She was a problem drinker...maybe on the road to alcoholism. I was proud of her for seeing that she could be on the verge of alcoholism and quit before it ruined her life. She's almost 90 days, and boasts her sobriety to anyone that will listen, which I understand that may ju...

lookingup · lookingup

Don't even know how to start off here,had a really hard time thinking up a topic ,..im as weak as can be I can see that now ,I done great staying away from my xabf going on 2 Mths,then the texting started with me then comes the invite ,oh I would like to see ya,then the meet and then ending with I love your,whic...

RKTreats · RKTreats

Can someone shed some light on this topic for me? I have heard several times "it's better for both people to do the recovery outside of the relationship so they can focus on themselves", so does this mean if I'm in a relationship, I should end it and go through the recovery and then identify if the relatio...

Bettina2 · Bettina2

I never had children when I was married to the Alcoholic. We didn't want any, I didn't because I never wanted them to have an Alcoholic Father and he didn't because he didn't want any of them to grow up and be Alcoholics. Which his substance abuse became so bad after many years that he did Father twins fr...

Shirley · Shirley

I'm new to the board here. Two years ago my DH hit rock bottom. It was an awful scene and a lot of verbal abuse. 2 of our 4 kids were home at the time and got to witness it.... He let us get him help. He went to a rehab but could only stay 3 days. Our insurance wouldn't pay and his work wasn't going to hold his j...

Aerin · Aerin

Ok so I have been following Al-Anon's advice for a few months and a few things do work, such as if he comes home drinking, I tend to go into another room or not engage with him, which has definitely kept me in control of my emotions. But I still don't like the fact however that the next day he is completely fin...

el-cee · el-cee

I'm back in time. After two years of not living with a drinker and living a good life. I'm back living with a drinker. It's sad. It's not even been two weeks yet and there's hidden cans, lies and my fear has kicked in. I also have turned mute. Can't seem to bring myself to phone my sponsor or an alanon person....

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 5, discusses the Third step. The reading points out that it is important that we pause and take the time to define our Higher Power.This Power must be one that we can trust loves us unconditionally . It suggests that once we have accepted that the destructive presence of...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning All It's been a while but I'm still alive and doing good. My son is doing great. I'ts been 3 month since his release and in that time has organized his life well. He has landed a great job ( making more money me!!! ) and will soon be on his own again. Getting his license back next month ( YAHOO...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

I asked my AH tonight, "what kind of family are we? What are we building together?" Of course he had no answer, I think the question freaks him out because he had no idea who he wants to become, or what he wants to do. -- he left the room to play video games, then came back to bed and laid down to sleep without s...

joanlee · joanlee

How am I supposed to read these posts? All I see is a preview. Am I missing something?

Iamhere · Iamhere

For those of us who live with this disease, we spend so much time thinking and planning for the worse case scenario. I know I did before the program. The reality is things happen even when folks are doing what they are supposed to.... My AS1 who will celebrate one year tomorrow went to work this morning...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Ive had a very hard day today friends.. The IRS wants a bunch of money from me and my ex that I dont have.I went on a interview where I liked the job offered,money is crummy and it takes over an hr to get there up some creaky stairs. My guy took us to our fave thrift store and had a loud angry fight with another g...

annie5079 · annie5079

9 years ago I met my husband, we had a brief relationship and then he moved onto somone else and had a child,he already had a child before this one, he used to drink quite alot at weekends at this point and smoke cannabis, we stayed good friends and eventually he discovered his partner was having an affair...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So someone brought up dating and divorce .. I had to be completely divorced before I decided to start going out again .. that's just me I prefer to just close a door as much as possible since we have kids together it will always be an issue of my ex will be somewhere in the background regardless if I like it or...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 4 speaks about the importance of the :" Second Step". The reading points out that this Step is about hope because with this Step, we come to believe that a Power Greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. We are asked to open our minds to the possibilities that help is a...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm not struggling or torn really I'm just trying to sort out my feeling/s .. lol .. sometimes I joke I only have one to deal with I know that's not true however there are some situations where all I have got to give is ambivalence. That's a really odd space for me to be in because it's just empty. This is wh...

KT2015 · KT2015

Last night my AH and I got into a discussion about his drinking. It came up in a round about way where he asked me if I was calling him an alcoholic (even though I wasn't talking about him). I told him no I wasn't calling him an alcoholic in this instance I was talking about something else. Of course that l...

CyndiODAT · CyndiODAT

I think I must have a sign that says 'if you are alcoholic, I'm your girl!!!' Or maybe a t-shirt that reads, 'Kiss Me- I'm a Codependent!' I say this with a sense of humor but the reality is - why do I continue attracting these sorts in to my life? I have been spending some time with a guy friend that I dated b...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading comes from the perspective of a long-term Al-Anon member. The member reflects on her program, her experience and the power of how HP (Higher Power) has carried the message and the member. Through the program, the member has gathered a large supply of healthy positive experiences....

Iamhere · Iamhere

As I like to do, I am going to flip flop today a bit.... Today's Quote is so powerful ===== "Once we learned to see our situation as it really was, we understood why it was necessary for us to turn to a Power greater than ourselves." --- from Al-Anon's Twelve Steps & Twelve Tranitions Today's Reminder...

andromeda · andromeda

My son and I have recently moved in with my boyfriend and his 2 young girls. My boyfriend is former military (6 years in the Army and he had commanded 300 recruits at one point while he served: I believe he was a Captain)....anyway, he has a mentality that is: boys should be raised by their fathers to be me...

RKTreats · RKTreats

After reading today's reading that speaks about expectations and resentment, I find myself questioning a lot of things. I know we can apply the Al-Anon principles to all aspects of our lives, so I find myself asking....."If I am not supposed to have expectations, then does that mean I have to settle f...

lookingup · lookingup

Here's a few of my facts that I've found of the alcoholic/addict: their master manupulaters,they lie,cheat, And please do add your facts that you have found???? I'm sure there's more . Thanks for listening just felt like I needed to post this......hugs lu

El · El

Since my AH was diagnosed in early May with alcohol induced hepatitis, he seems to have made an attempt to cut back, but has not stopped drinking. I have said very little and anything I have said, it has been brief and factual. Something kept nagging at me however. My A doesn't use a computer, has no desi...

OpheliasBabyDoll · OpheliasBabyDoll

So here I am. It's ten o'clock at night on Wednesday, a time I would normally either be texting my alcoholic ex goodnight or just leaving his house. Sometimes, I feel lost. It's only been a few days that I've wandered various support sites, including this one. I've read quite a few stories, some more dra...

Emily W · Emily W

Hello All...this post is a long time coming. I have been with my alcoholic boyfriend for 8.5 years, 3 trips to rehab, hours and hours of meetings, YEARS of aftercare, countless visits to the hospital, a D.U.I., and yet here I still am. My ABF has been in and out of AA for most of our relationship and has ha...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

After another night of constant disruptions due to my AH drinking, I have decided today to prepare our guest room for a treasured guest...ME!! I am going to convert that guest room in to an oasis of relaxing comfort for myself for these times when sleeping in my own room is not serving me well. I am buyi...

lookingup · lookingup

I had read someone's post where they mentioned they needed to be vulnerable and desperate,in their situation in order to recover,I'm not understanding this for when I was vulnerable and desper I was at my also scariest also of being weak to another bad relationship,so that being where I don't want to...

Aerin · Aerin

Anyone else feel this way? I am so sick and tired of how they portray beer in commercials (even the Whiskey ones with Mila Kunis now! Like its all sexy for your man to be downing a few) In a new Light one they are obviously targeting 20 somethings, showing happy, super fit girls in bikinis holding a be...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Hello my MIP family, I am currently in Maui, Hawaii on a "vacation of a lifetime" and (after a quite rocky start) enjoying myself to the best of my ability. I am struggling with some things though and have been trying to use my program to help me with them. First, a family member (the one footing the majo...

Paintballer · Paintballer

Hi everyone. New member here. My Wife has been struggling with alcoholism for about 4 years now. She did a 30 day inpatient 4 years ago and has been going off and on to AA meetings. She just got caught at work (medical field)stealing meds and using them at work. Ive been told shes done this for about a year....

BetterBunny · BetterBunny

Hi Everyone, I'm been reading through page after page here and am finally ready to head to my first f2f meeting tonight. I'm both pleased to be going and scared at the same time. After years of trying to force life into a mold of my design and pretending to everyone around me that I'm really successful at i...

gabigail · gabigail

hi everyone- My A has been sober 18 days, but has been in the hospital the last week. My mind has been in a virtual fog the last week, trying to run my spouse's business and working my job and juggling everything. I'm exhausted. And today a bit emotional. I was talking to my A on the phone to see what she ne...

CoopsMom · CoopsMom

My AH is two months sober in AA and our home environment is much improved. He is working hard and I can see the big changes. This past weekend we were invited to stay with my sister and her fiancee. My AH, sister, nephew and dad (along with a few others) attended the Indy 500 to celebrate my Dad's birthday. T...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Todays c2c discusses the very wise notion that "an expectation is a premeditated resentment". It goes on to say that when resentment is felt, we can look to our own expectations as a likely source. The reading reminds us that we have the right to define our own standards but that we do not have the right t...

Ddw7415 · Ddw7415

I'm 65 years old and have been married for 25 years to my ah. He always drank, but it got worse with time and around 3 years ago his drunken rage caused me to leave the house and go to a hotel. The next day I told him to get sober or get out so he started meetings and got sober. At first life seemed to improv...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about step 4, taking a personal inventory and how initially for many of us this is equated to searching out all of our 'wrongs'. For me looking at this step was daunting in the beginning because I was picturing all of my faults and imperfections lined up and rea...

sweetness34 · sweetness34

Good morning MIP Family, My hope is that all of you are doing well. I haven't been here for a few days, and wanted to check in. First, I want to say thank you to any of you who might have lost a loved one as they served our country. A young man I used to babysit, who grew up in my neighborhood, was kidded in Afghan...

sweeetr · sweeetr

for those that dont know me .. a brief catch up. I adopted a neglected precious 22 month old child that is now 11 years old. Detaching, even with love. I cant seem to do, I feel I am still raising/parenting him. I let him face consequences for his actions. The loss this child has faced ....... He lost his bi...

Overcome · Overcome

I'm wondering where the Al-anon chat/meeting room has gone, and the home page. Does anyone know? This is the only page I can access. I have had several members from the chat room message me to ask.

Iamhere · Iamhere

On Sunday, my AH and I are departing on a 1,200 mile road trip to go to see my parents in AZ. This will be the first vacation we've taken together without children in 20 years. So, I am excited to go out and see my parents - they are 81 and who knows how much longer they will be around. My brother also lives in...

runi · runi

like i said, i am new here. my first qualifier was my father. seems to me the people I've observed in al-anon seem to work much harder to get healthy and live with the alcoholic than the alcoholic does in AA. when is enough enough.??

Nix · Nix

Hello! I became aware of Al-Anon back in 2013. I was going through a devastating separation from my partner of nearly 11 years, and the resulting fallout led me to crawl on hands and knees to several different 12 step groups focusing on dysfunction in relationships. This fellowship and others like it...

RKTreats · RKTreats

This evening, after several weeks of peace, my greatest fear was realized....or at least has reared it's ugly head in my mind again. My Abf who is seven weeks into his recovery and has told me he is interested in no one else, received a phone call from one of the women he found on a dating site several month...

cloverleaf · cloverleaf

Face to face meetings are nearly impossible for me to get to right now & I'm in the thick of some things I need to write out. May is hard for me, in general. Where I live, we have race for the cure (komen breast cancer walk) the weekend of mother's day, then mother's day (my mom died a few years ago of breas...

RKTreats · RKTreats

Today is my one-week anniversary (counting every milestone right now) of attending my first Al-Anon meeting. I attended three meetings last week and am preparing to go into my fourth meeting tonight. I'm still struggling with how to know when any progress is being made. I know I want a resolution now...

Rinn · Rinn

I am a nursing student. I had this crazy idea that I could do something noble and use my experience gained married to an addict, to help patients with addiction issues. So after working med/surg and seeing the enormous amount of patients that come in with meth addictions. I finally had one. I can sa...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I attended an Alanon meeting this week where the topic was the Alanon Concepts. The Concepts are not often a suggested topic and I was so grateful someone rather new to the program chose to explore the meaning of each of the Concepts and share what they'd learned with the rest of us. It was a gift to recei...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Well I finally did it and went back to a ftf meeting! I actually enjoyed the experience very much and felt as if I was in the right place...finally! It has been a long and arduous process to get back to the rooms and I am very glad I made the effort. I sincerely hope to continue meetings and to learn from my f...

WhoDat4Life · WhoDat4Life

Long story short: my Mom is an alcoholic and pain pill addict who will not stay sober. She has her moments where she does well, but for the most part the longest she can go is about 2 weeks without a relapse. She has been through 2 VERY expensive rehab stints funded by my Dad to no avail. When she came home th...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Choppy waters, a bit of unsteadyness but Had a dream 3 day cruise with boyfriend !!!! won on slots,yummy food,very romantic etc Feel grateful,blessed and special. Have 3-4 job interviews this week lined up. Hope all of you are blessed with good things coming into your lives A :]

cm2772 · cm2772

Hi all, new poster, looking for advice. Ive known that my husband is an alcoholic for years. Decades probably, and its gotten worse over the years. I have been more vocal and we have been fighting a lot more over the past 5+ years. Last year I told him that I was done (after he had promised me many times th...

unbroken13 · unbroken13

As I sit here at 2:30 in the morning with tears in my eyes listening to the last sounds and breaths of my mother in law and it is breaking my heart...but I realize how blessed I am to be here with her and helping her to move on. There is no other feeling like it in the world. A feeling of sadness, a feeling of joy,...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Over the weekend, my bf told me that he is going to try to get in touch with his kids. It's a complicated history, and, I felt I had some 'truths" to tell him (he gets it into his head to try to contact them every few years, then makes some crazy promises and then, no follow through). So, my "inner advisor" wan...

oceanpine · oceanpine

Can anyone offer ESH or insight into this part of the Serenity Prayer? What do I do, when I need to make a decision, and lack the wisdom to know the difference? Because a little voice is always whispering that I *can* change more than I think... especially if I act perfect, a martyr, in a way different tha...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Courage to Change Reading 6-6-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 6, speaks about justifying our own unacceptable behavior. It points out that we often excuse ourselves by claiming that we were provoked or have no other choice. We then dismiss our actions by telling ourselves that everyone does the same thing. I know that i did this often an...	hotrod	3	360	Jun 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	not sure how much space we need, am I going too fast (Preview) I have been in a long term relationship with my boyfriend for going on 3 years. He has been involved in AA and has been working on his sobriety since this past October, he has had his struggles and would be 9 months sober but is currently at 3.5 months. We have lived together throughout this. He works long h...	BAK	3	461	Jun 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	The Forum (Preview) This is the monthly Magazine of Al-Anon Family Groups and my wife and I subscribe...It is a great recovery tool for those affected by another persons drinking and using. Some of the entries are re-printable on the net and you can get all of the entries in the publication. It ships all over the planet...	Jerry F	5	2233	Jun 7, 2016 by Taraxacum
	Dating after divorce? (Preview) So it will be 2 years since splitting with my AW this September, and I have not gone on one date yet. Even my therapist is like dude...how bout a date..it's just a date! And in a weird reversal of roles it's ME getting HIM to chill. Granted it's been a busy stretch with divorce, finding a new place, movin...	littlelionman	13	772	Jun 7, 2016 by Breakingfree
	I have no idea if I'm right or wrong (Preview) My friend recently got sober. She was a problem drinker...maybe on the road to alcoholism. I was proud of her for seeing that she could be on the verge of alcoholism and quit before it ruined her life. She's almost 90 days, and boasts her sobriety to anyone that will listen, which I understand that may ju...	ninja90cat	8	444	Jun 7, 2016 by a4l
	Learning the hard way (Preview) Don't even know how to start off here,had a really hard time thinking up a topic ,..im as weak as can be I can see that now ,I done great staying away from my xabf going on 2 Mths,then the texting started with me then comes the invite ,oh I would like to see ya,then the meet and then ending with I love your,whic...	lookingup	2	2695	Jun 6, 2016 by hotrod
	Relationships and Recovery (Preview) Can someone shed some light on this topic for me? I have heard several times "it's better for both people to do the recovery outside of the relationship so they can focus on themselves", so does this mean if I'm in a relationship, I should end it and go through the recovery and then identify if the relatio...	RKTreats	5	2235	Jun 6, 2016 by Butterfly125
	Would we have made a different choice (Preview) I never had children when I was married to the Alcoholic. We didn't want any, I didn't because I never wanted them to have an Alcoholic Father and he didn't because he didn't want any of them to grow up and be Alcoholics. Which his substance abuse became so bad after many years that he did Father twins fr...	Bettina2	25	1142	Jun 6, 2016 by Butterfly125
	He fell off the wagon (Preview) I'm new to the board here. Two years ago my DH hit rock bottom. It was an awful scene and a lot of verbal abuse. 2 of our 4 kids were home at the time and got to witness it.... He let us get him help. He went to a rehab but could only stay 3 days. Our insurance wouldn't pay and his work wasn't going to hold his j...	Shirley	17	8997	Jun 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Alanon Confuses Me (Preview) Ok so I have been following Al-Anon's advice for a few months and a few things do work, such as if he comes home drinking, I tend to go into another room or not engage with him, which has definitely kept me in control of my emotions. But I still don't like the fact however that the next day he is completely fin...	Aerin	13	624	Jun 6, 2016 by KT2015
	On the merrygoround (Preview) I'm back in time. After two years of not living with a drinker and living a good life. I'm back living with a drinker. It's sad. It's not even been two weeks yet and there's hidden cans, lies and my fear has kicked in. I also have turned mute. Can't seem to bring myself to phone my sponsor or an alanon person....	el-cee	6	511	Jun 6, 2016 by el-cee
	Courage to Change Reading -6-5-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 5, discusses the Third step. The reading points out that it is important that we pause and take the time to define our Higher Power.This Power must be one that we can trust loves us unconditionally . It suggests that once we have accepted that the destructive presence of...	hotrod	3	408	Jun 6, 2016 by hotrod
	Hello (Preview) Good Morning All It's been a while but I'm still alive and doing good. My son is doing great. I'ts been 3 month since his release and in that time has organized his life well. He has landed a great job ( making more money me!!! ) and will soon be on his own again. Getting his license back next month ( YAHOO...	Cathyinaz	19	731	Jun 5, 2016 by Cathyinaz
	Breathing into my future (Preview) I asked my AH tonight, "what kind of family are we? What are we building together?" Of course he had no answer, I think the question freaks him out because he had no idea who he wants to become, or what he wants to do. -- he left the room to play video games, then came back to bed and laid down to sleep without s...	Taraxacum	8	485	Jun 5, 2016 by tiredtonite
	Forum (Preview) How am I supposed to read these posts? All I see is a preview. Am I missing something?	joanlee	1	241	Jun 5, 2016 by Mirandac
	Baby Crawled Down the Hamper - All is Good... (Preview) For those of us who live with this disease, we spend so much time thinking and planning for the worse case scenario. I know I did before the program. The reality is things happen even when folks are doing what they are supposed to.... My AS1 who will celebrate one year tomorrow went to work this morning...	Iamhere	9	729	Jun 5, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	Am I Weak? (Preview) Ive had a very hard day today friends.. The IRS wants a bunch of money from me and my ex that I dont have.I went on a interview where I liked the job offered,money is crummy and it takes over an hr to get there up some creaky stairs. My guy took us to our fave thrift store and had a loud angry fight with another g...	YARNCRAZY	7	607	Jun 5, 2016 by sallyowens
	My life has changed since my husband stopped drinking (Preview) 9 years ago I met my husband, we had a brief relationship and then he moved onto somone else and had a child,he already had a child before this one, he used to drink quite alot at weekends at this point and smoke cannabis, we stayed good friends and eventually he discovered his partner was having an affair...	annie5079	17	789	Jun 5, 2016 by Jerry F
	Construction Cones/Dating (Preview) So someone brought up dating and divorce .. I had to be completely divorced before I decided to start going out again .. that's just me I prefer to just close a door as much as possible since we have kids together it will always be an issue of my ex will be somewhere in the background regardless if I like it or...	SerenityRUS	4	386	Jun 4, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change reading 6-4-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 4 speaks about the importance of the :" Second Step". The reading points out that this Step is about hope because with this Step, we come to believe that a Power Greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. We are asked to open our minds to the possibilities that help is a...	hotrod	1	460	Jun 4, 2016 by Iamhere
	Mother issues (Preview) I'm not struggling or torn really I'm just trying to sort out my feeling/s .. lol .. sometimes I joke I only have one to deal with I know that's not true however there are some situations where all I have got to give is ambivalence. That's a really odd space for me to be in because it's just empty. This is wh...	SerenityRUS	0	351	Jun 4, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	I am powerless, I am powerless, I am powerless... (Preview) Last night my AH and I got into a discussion about his drinking. It came up in a round about way where he asked me if I was calling him an alcoholic (even though I wasn't talking about him). I told him no I wasn't calling him an alcoholic in this instance I was talking about something else. Of course that l...	KT2015	6	385	Jun 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Is there a sign on my forehead??? (Preview) I think I must have a sign that says 'if you are alcoholic, I'm your girl!!!' Or maybe a t-shirt that reads, 'Kiss Me- I'm a Codependent!' I say this with a sense of humor but the reality is - why do I continue attracting these sorts in to my life? I have been spending some time with a guy friend that I dated b...	CyndiODAT	17	756	Jun 3, 2016 by Auryn
	Courage to Change (C2C) 6/2/16 (Preview) Today's reading comes from the perspective of a long-term Al-Anon member. The member reflects on her program, her experience and the power of how HP (Higher Power) has carried the message and the member. Through the program, the member has gathered a large supply of healthy positive experiences....	Iamhere	3	373	Jun 3, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Courage to Change (C2C) 6/3/16 (Preview) As I like to do, I am going to flip flop today a bit.... Today's Quote is so powerful ===== "Once we learned to see our situation as it really was, we understood why it was necessary for us to turn to a Power greater than ourselves." --- from Al-Anon's Twelve Steps & Twelve Tranitions Today's Reminder...	Iamhere	3	367	Jun 3, 2016 by sweetness34
	My son...... (Preview) My son and I have recently moved in with my boyfriend and his 2 young girls. My boyfriend is former military (6 years in the Army and he had commanded 300 recruits at one point while he served: I believe he was a Captain)....anyway, he has a mentality that is: boys should be raised by their fathers to be me...	andromeda	19	747	Jun 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Expectations (Preview) After reading today's reading that speaks about expectations and resentment, I find myself questioning a lot of things. I know we can apply the Al-Anon principles to all aspects of our lives, so I find myself asking....."If I am not supposed to have expectations, then does that mean I have to settle f...	RKTreats	4	391	Jun 3, 2016 by hotrod
	The facts of alcoholic/addict (Preview) Here's a few of my facts that I've found of the alcoholic/addict: their master manupulaters,they lie,cheat, And please do add your facts that you have found???? I'm sure there's more . Thanks for listening just felt like I needed to post this......hugs lu	lookingup	7	453	Jun 3, 2016 by lookingup
	Examing motive (Preview) Since my AH was diagnosed in early May with alcohol induced hepatitis, he seems to have made an attempt to cut back, but has not stopped drinking. I have said very little and anything I have said, it has been brief and factual. Something kept nagging at me however. My A doesn't use a computer, has no desi...	El	2	392	Jun 3, 2016 by El
	My First Official Night as a Member of the Club (Preview) So here I am. It's ten o'clock at night on Wednesday, a time I would normally either be texting my alcoholic ex goodnight or just leaving his house. Sometimes, I feel lost. It's only been a few days that I've wandered various support sites, including this one. I've read quite a few stories, some more dra...	OpheliasBabyDoll	12	509	Jun 2, 2016 by RKTreats
	First time poster---How do you know when you're done? (Preview) Hello All...this post is a long time coming. I have been with my alcoholic boyfriend for 8.5 years, 3 trips to rehab, hours and hours of meetings, YEARS of aftercare, countless visits to the hospital, a D.U.I., and yet here I still am. My ABF has been in and out of AA for most of our relationship and has ha...	Emily W	2	392	Jun 2, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Another way to take care of me... (Preview) After another night of constant disruptions due to my AH drinking, I have decided today to prepare our guest room for a treasured guest...ME!! I am going to convert that guest room in to an oasis of relaxing comfort for myself for these times when sleeping in my own room is not serving me well. I am buyi...	Bethany66	5	443	Jun 2, 2016 by Freetime
	Vulnerable and desperate (Preview) I had read someone's post where they mentioned they needed to be vulnerable and desperate,in their situation in order to recover,I'm not understanding this for when I was vulnerable and desper I was at my also scariest also of being weak to another bad relationship,so that being where I don't want to...	lookingup	0	280	Jun 2, 2016 by lookingup
	DOES ANYONE ELSE HATE BEER COMMERCIALS!!!??? (Preview) Anyone else feel this way? I am so sick and tired of how they portray beer in commercials (even the Whiskey ones with Mila Kunis now! Like its all sexy for your man to be downing a few) In a new Light one they are obviously targeting 20 somethings, showing happy, super fit girls in bikinis holding a be...	Aerin	10	528	Jun 2, 2016 by Aerin
	On vacation - nerves getting me - struggling with taking care of ME! (Preview) Hello my MIP family, I am currently in Maui, Hawaii on a "vacation of a lifetime" and (after a quite rocky start) enjoying myself to the best of my ability. I am struggling with some things though and have been trying to use my program to help me with them. First, a family member (the one footing the majo...	Doingmybest	6	550	Jun 2, 2016 by Doingmybest
	How much is too much? (Preview) Hi everyone. New member here. My Wife has been struggling with alcoholism for about 4 years now. She did a 30 day inpatient 4 years ago and has been going off and on to AA meetings. She just got caught at work (medical field)stealing meds and using them at work. Ive been told shes done this for about a year....	Paintballer	3	475	Jun 2, 2016 by Mirandac
	New, Scared and Embarrassed. Q re: Anonymity (Preview) Hi Everyone, I'm been reading through page after page here and am finally ready to head to my first f2f meeting tonight. I'm both pleased to be going and scared at the same time. After years of trying to force life into a mold of my design and pretending to everyone around me that I'm really successful at i...	BetterBunny	9	734	Jun 2, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Insanity- all things old are new again (Preview) hi everyone- My A has been sober 18 days, but has been in the hospital the last week. My mind has been in a virtual fog the last week, trying to run my spouse's business and working my job and juggling everything. I'm exhausted. And today a bit emotional. I was talking to my A on the phone to see what she ne...	gabigail	2	438	Jun 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	Why do I feel angry and embarrassed? (Preview) My AH is two months sober in AA and our home environment is much improved. He is working hard and I can see the big changes. This past weekend we were invited to stay with my sister and her fiancee. My AH, sister, nephew and dad (along with a few others) attended the Indy 500 to celebrate my Dad's birthday. T...	CoopsMom	7	645	Jun 1, 2016 by Mirandac
	Courage to Change 1/6 (Preview) Todays c2c discusses the very wise notion that "an expectation is a premeditated resentment". It goes on to say that when resentment is felt, we can look to our own expectations as a likely source. The reading reminds us that we have the right to define our own standards but that we do not have the right t...	missmeliss	4	409	Jun 1, 2016 by sweetness34
	New to forum...married to an emotionally abusive dry drunk and need advice (Preview) I'm 65 years old and have been married for 25 years to my ah. He always drank, but it got worse with time and around 3 years ago his drunken rage caused me to leave the house and go to a hotel. The next day I told him to get sober or get out so he started meetings and got sober. At first life seemed to improv...	Ddw7415	11	885	May 31, 2016 by hotrod
	Hope for Today May 31 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about step 4, taking a personal inventory and how initially for many of us this is equated to searching out all of our 'wrongs'. For me looking at this step was daunting in the beginning because I was picturing all of my faults and imperfections lined up and rea...	yanksfan51	3	473	May 31, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	So grateful (Preview) Good morning MIP Family, My hope is that all of you are doing well. I haven't been here for a few days, and wanted to check in. First, I want to say thank you to any of you who might have lost a loved one as they served our country. A young man I used to babysit, who grew up in my neighborhood, was kidded in Afghan...	sweetness34	3	397	May 31, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	My adopted son ... behaviour ... family full of addictions (graphic warning) (Preview) for those that dont know me .. a brief catch up. I adopted a neglected precious 22 month old child that is now 11 years old. Detaching, even with love. I cant seem to do, I feel I am still raising/parenting him. I let him face consequences for his actions. The loss this child has faced ....... He lost his bi...	sweeetr	5	537	May 31, 2016 by Jerry F
	Where has the MIP Main Page gone? (Preview) I'm wondering where the Al-anon chat/meeting room has gone, and the home page. Does anyone know? This is the only page I can access. I have had several members from the chat room message me to ask.	Overcome	4	639	May 31, 2016 by Jerry F
	Road Trip - Through the Month End....Call me Crazy or Call me Courageous? (Preview) On Sunday, my AH and I are departing on a 1,200 mile road trip to go to see my parents in AZ. This will be the first vacation we've taken together without children in 20 years. So, I am excited to go out and see my parents - they are 81 and who knows how much longer they will be around. My brother also lives in...	Iamhere	21	651	May 31, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	advise (Preview) like i said, i am new here. my first qualifier was my father. seems to me the people I've observed in al-anon seem to work much harder to get healthy and live with the alcoholic than the alcoholic does in AA. when is enough enough.??	runi	6	502	May 31, 2016 by tiredtonite
	Introducing Myself (Preview) Hello! I became aware of Al-Anon back in 2013. I was going through a devastating separation from my partner of nearly 11 years, and the resulting fallout led me to crawl on hands and knees to several different 12 step groups focusing on dysfunction in relationships. This fellowship and others like it...	Nix	6	563	May 31, 2016 by tiredtonite
	My greatest fear... (Preview) This evening, after several weeks of peace, my greatest fear was realized....or at least has reared it's ugly head in my mind again. My Abf who is seven weeks into his recovery and has told me he is interested in no one else, received a phone call from one of the women he found on a dating site several month...	RKTreats	2	442	May 30, 2016 by Mattie
	expectations vs ? (Preview) Face to face meetings are nearly impossible for me to get to right now & I'm in the thick of some things I need to write out. May is hard for me, in general. Where I live, we have race for the cure (komen breast cancer walk) the weekend of mother's day, then mother's day (my mom died a few years ago of breas...	cloverleaf	2	442	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	Not sure where I go from here (Preview) Today is my one-week anniversary (counting every milestone right now) of attending my first Al-Anon meeting. I attended three meetings last week and am preparing to go into my fourth meeting tonight. I'm still struggling with how to know when any progress is being made. I know I want a resolution now...	RKTreats	8	699	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	thought I could use my experience with addict in role as a nurse WRING WRONG WRONG! (Preview) I am a nursing student. I had this crazy idea that I could do something noble and use my experience gained married to an addict, to help patients with addiction issues. So after working med/surg and seeing the enormous amount of patients that come in with meth addictions. I finally had one. I can sa...	Rinn	16	747	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	Grateful for In Person Alanon Meetings (Preview) I attended an Alanon meeting this week where the topic was the Alanon Concepts. The Concepts are not often a suggested topic and I was so grateful someone rather new to the program chose to explore the meaning of each of the Concepts and share what they'd learned with the rest of us. It was a gift to recei...	tiredtonite	2	426	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	Went back! (Preview) Well I finally did it and went back to a ftf meeting! I actually enjoyed the experience very much and felt as if I was in the right place...finally! It has been a long and arduous process to get back to the rooms and I am very glad I made the effort. I sincerely hope to continue meetings and to learn from my f...	Doingmybest	4	542	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	Going Crazy (Preview) Long story short: my Mom is an alcoholic and pain pill addict who will not stay sober. She has her moments where she does well, but for the most part the longest she can go is about 2 weeks without a relapse. She has been through 2 VERY expensive rehab stints funded by my Dad to no avail. When she came home th...	WhoDat4Life	4	662	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	Back from AWESOME CRUISE (Preview) Choppy waters, a bit of unsteadyness but Had a dream 3 day cruise with boyfriend !!!! won on slots,yummy food,very romantic etc Feel grateful,blessed and special. Have 3-4 job interviews this week lined up. Hope all of you are blessed with good things coming into your lives A :]	YARNCRAZY	7	751	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	First time poster--looking for some advice when spouse says I'm not supportive (Preview) Hi all, new poster, looking for advice. Ive known that my husband is an alcoholic for years. Decades probably, and its gotten worse over the years. I have been more vocal and we have been fighting a lot more over the past 5+ years. Last year I told him that I was done (after he had promised me many times th...	cm2772	7	404	May 30, 2016 by xeno59
	Love of the Program (Preview) As I sit here at 2:30 in the morning with tears in my eyes listening to the last sounds and breaths of my mother in law and it is breaking my heart...but I realize how blessed I am to be here with her and helping her to move on. There is no other feeling like it in the world. A feeling of sadness, a feeling of joy,...	unbroken13	7	523	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	This would have upset me, before. (Preview) Over the weekend, my bf told me that he is going to try to get in touch with his kids. It's a complicated history, and, I felt I had some 'truths" to tell him (he gets it into his head to try to contact them every few years, then makes some crazy promises and then, no follow through). So, my "inner advisor" wan...	missmeliss	3	494	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	ESH on "the wisdom to know the difference"? (Preview) Can anyone offer ESH or insight into this part of the Serenity Prayer? What do I do, when I need to make a decision, and lack the wisdom to know the difference? Because a little voice is always whispering that I can change more than I think... especially if I act perfect, a martyr, in a way different tha...	oceanpine	9	759	May 30, 2016 by oceanpine
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.