Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c is about fear, and the negative coping tools we may have developed to deal with it. For example, many of us, when we are confronted, remain silent rather than speaking up for ourselves and we lose self respect in the process. The reading suggests that remaining silent is in fact reacting, r...

el-cee · el-cee

Okay, spoke to an alanon talked through all my fears and incessant what ifs. Son is out again, drinking. Fear took over, but right now i feel strong. Going to allow him here tonight and tomorrow morning Im leaving him a letter telling him he must sort accomodation and be out by tomorrow. Where I stay ther...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

I am having problems logging into the ACA message board online here .. It says my IP was banned .. there is no reason this should be ? Can someone please let me know why this is and how soon we can fix this glitch ? Thanks .. hope42day on other board ..

miroslawa · miroslawa

Hi! I am a one year member of Alanon and attend meetings every Saturday. I kicked my daughter out of the house a year ago after 5 years of abuse and the new knowledge that she was in the heat of becoming a meth addict. She has been homeless since then. On Friday she was arrested and charged with Robbery. She w...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Just ducking in here to say that it has been 6 months on my own, away from AH soon to be XAH. Getting the divorce, dealing with the IRS,looking for work has been a real challenge to me.My es sis in law has taken the job i had of "having the wool pulled over your eyes enabler" as far as XAH. I havnt seen or spoken t...

Mirandac · Mirandac

i found this great old blog and it explained so well what someone being emotionally immature was all about. It is said A's are as mature as when they started drinking. i get that my xah drank hard from 12-24 he was a binger. He seemed okay on the surface and seemed fairly well emotionally centered except...

Tampa · Tampa

I am not only in-love with an alcoholic. I have found out he is a narcissist, porn addict and pathological liar. Why such a combination of things? Talk about a walking mess, including me. I have finally left this time without crying. I am cried out. Long story short: I left him the last time and took every...

Fedora · Fedora

Hello! I've been absent from the Board for a few weeks but I've been working on my program. I am learning that growth takes time. Today I had an unexpected opportunity to see where I'm at.... my MIL found out today that my qualifier drinks. He ended up in the ER after passing out. I am not at home now so his mo...

Jazzie18 · Jazzie18

I just have such overwhelming anxiety today and feeling like such a bad mom. Over the weekend I was completely short with my kids as I was overwhelmed and tired. AH hurt his shoulder so he wasn't much help with the kids and called me out on being short with them last night. I took it so personal even tho...

Crau · Crau

Reading through so many of these posts I see so much pain and hurt but also a lot of hope and insight. Words that are spoken here are so true, connect with people on so many levels and it's a great place to come to when needing to connect again with the steps and others walking a similar path. I also hear so m...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 19 speaks about being troubled by others behaviors or disappointing turn of events. The reading points out that we don't have to take others actions as personal. We are not have to be a victim of everything that happens unless we choose to see the world that way. If things do not...

Minniegirl · Minniegirl

Why am I the nut lol? My AH is loved with lots of friends. And i.m lonely. I don.T want to be the crazy one. But I guess it.s all the years of living with an alcoholic. I.ve been reading the alanon book. And it.s so me. I.ve went to one meeting. And am going to keep going. I want friends and a social.li...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I miss him especially today. He was my hero in the end. He made me laugh & even made me cry. He was the saver of my sanity. He knew what I needed even hugs. He dropped everything to visit me in the hospital when no one else would. He smiled & his face lighted up. He wasn't always there but he made sure th...

Sandy408 · Sandy408

Hi all! Just wanted to share and see if anyone has experienced what I am going through... I am currently in a phase of recovery where I am letting go of relationships/friendships that are all with alcoholics/ACoA/Codependents. It took me almost 3 years in recovery to finally come out of denial and tru...

cmw2429 · cmw2429

Yesterday was our 39th Wedding Anniversary. No presents, no "happy anniversary", yes a lunch out but it really could have been any other day of the year. The only mention in relation to our Wedding Day was about the difference in weather! I think I'm finally accepting that life is nothing like I want...

ThreeCmom · ThreeCmom

Hi, I'm new to the site and could use some advice & wanted to see if anyone else has been in the same or similar situation and what your outcome was. After 17.5 years of marriage, my AH & I are in the middle of a divorce. He has been an alcoholic/addict our entire marriage with the addictions spira...

lgnutah · lgnutah

Is there no meeting tonight?

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

I've got a few updates and I want to talk about what's going on currently. I enjoy being able to use this platform to sort of chronicle my progress and set backs. Today was the last day of school for my son. He is eight and just finished the second grade. These transitions are really hard for me. Adjusting t...

lookingup · lookingup

These 3 things irritate me cause I feel that I can't work them or make them work for me,I have a hard time saying no,and setting boundaries or standing my ground these are all aimed at my abf was xabf,we have been getting along great he has slaved himself my yard ,got it looking beautiful,I feel like I'm l...

gingerfizz · gingerfizz

Hi all, it's been a long time. My AH has been dry for over 2 years. He did not do any recovery work. Things are certainly much calmer. He is nicer for the most part. No late night crazy drunk shenanigans. However, I am dealing with a lot of what I call "tests" in my mind from him and I am not sure if I am han...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and this morning I participated in another as I went to my AA home group..."By the Bay". I left our van to walk over to the cabana where we hold the group and recognized the station wagon we were next to...God!! Both RJ and his MOM clean and sober and the last time I saw her she could not even stand up much...

CyndiODAT · CyndiODAT

Hi all, I've mentioned my friend that I've been spending time with. I guess we are dating but it's more like 'hanging out' together. Not only does he drink straight whiskey on the rocks, he is also wierdly enmeshed with his sister and other family members. He is one of 9 siblings. He is very close wi...

joker · joker

This program is a miracle. Since my last post much has changed. The ABF stopped drinking. It was a terrible withdrawal-shaking, sweating, anxiety, sleeplessness, restlessness for 3 days straight. Its now been a month and he remains sober. He found beer and vodka, coolers in the house that I had hid a...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 18 speaks about what we often feel when we first enter program. Many of us are filled with anger and resentment because it appears other people's live are perfect and we envy what we think they have. The reading goes on to state that in time, after working the program...

milkwood · milkwood

I know that I shouldn't be angry about this, and usually when I feel angry it is because I am angry at myself but. Our relationship counsellor's response to my comment that I seemed to have had the emotional systems of PTSD was that my parents had problems and as a child I felt helpless. No mention of what...

Jennie72 · Jennie72

Im here because I need help dealing with my life. I haven't been to a meeting and think it would help so I need to get the courage to go. I've been married for 13 years. When we first met, my husband drank all night in the basement with his friend. He then slowed down for a while. He was going out once ever...

createive · createive

Hi, I found this in the "How Al-Anon Works" book. I feel so selfish feeling jealous over the time he spends between mettings and phone calls. And here's another dysfunction feeling I have, I feel worried he will meet an AA woman who has AA in common with him. I know he loves me and is the most dedicated man,...

KT2015 · KT2015

When things with my AH are not going well I am very good at detaching and that has been a wonderful gift of this program because he can be in any kind of mood and I am able to get on with my own life. I can do the things I need to do for myself. But my AH doesn't drink every day and goes through periods of not drin...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about the basics of our program of recovery. We are helped by the program in times when we could not or can not do it on our own. We learn to lean on a Higher Power, live one day at a time and with faith and support, we find we can live and even grow through difficult times. Most of us fi...

Sarahcolorado · Sarahcolorado

Hi, I am new to this board and I started Al-Anon and therapy after I realized that my life has hit a physical and mental low dealing with a binge drinking alcoholic family member all of my life. Everytime he's not in a drinking phase everything seems fine and I keep feeling that I don't need to go to Al-an...

Lyne · Lyne

This month is my 3rd year anniversary. I love my f2f group but no one seems to care about their anniversary except for myself and one other member. So the two of us will do something special at one of our meetings. It could be because she and I are older. We haven't had years and years to get better. I spe...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just a reminder for me to focus on what I am doing before I act on something. Prayer doesn't hurt either. Prayers change lives & give opportunity that otherwise may never happen. Just a quick thought.

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about detaching with love. The reminder and quote are very powerful ----- Today's reminder --- I am learning the difference between help and interference. Today I will examine the way I offer support. Today's quote --- "Detachment did not mean disinterest....I considered d...

Minniegirl · Minniegirl

My parents were alcoholic. I.ve seen my father so drunk he xouldn.t stand. I.ve seen my mother cry and pray and try to fix him. I.ve seen my father try to kill himself with a gun. I.ve seen my father push my mother around and us kids defending our mother. I.ve seen my father soil himself, be arrested,...

Jennyp · Jennyp

Just needing to share. Last night after another " I'll be home in half an hour" which turned into 4 hours coming home drunk,I think I finally realized I'll be ok on my own. If it comes to that, I will be incredibly sad and heartbroken but will survive. Had a good rational sober talk with him today and I know h...

Lsh8175 · Lsh8175

Hi. this is my first time posting something but I really don't know where else to turn. My husband is an alcoholic. We have 3 beautiful boys and have been together for almost 8 years now. In the past 2 years he has been in and out of rehab twice. The last time I really thought he had it. He was sober for six mont...

miamid47 · miamid47

Good morning! I am a 53 year old woman that has been dating an alcoholic for 8 years. He has always been what is called a "functioning" alcoholic until the past six months. The roller coaster has been rough but now it is becoming a dangerous ride. I am in fear of getting into any vehicle with him. I hav...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Ok .. I have discovered because things are not going at rocket speed .. I'm not comfortable with letting someone else set the pace. At the same time .. grrr .. I do not like the whole dating game stuff. I'm a little on lock down at the moment out of sheer stubbornness .. I figure I sent the last text so he can...

DontWantToBeHere · DontWantToBeHere

I don't know where to start. I've been with my fiance for about 2 and a half years. He was sober when we got together and started using behind my back sometime within the past 6 months. Things have come to a head recently where he lost his home and job. He is staying with his mother who is very into AA and Al-An...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c talk about the use of sarcasm as a weapon, noting that it does nothing to help fix the problems in a relationship or interaction; it might provide a temporary bit of satisfaction but in the long run does more harm than good. The reading suggests that when feeling frustrated with a person or s...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

again,crapped on by the world...i did everything possible at new job and still boss not pleased and oh..forgot to tell me id be lid off in a day or two anyway cause they are moving office to manhatten beach way way to far to get to by bus or train. ...so in 6mths only able to get 11/2 wks of work ...money tight...

ghen7865 · ghen7865

Our 28 year old son is a alcoholic and drug addict. His wife had a baby a little over a year ago and he stopped all of his bad ugly habits. He was in a accident and got put on Tramadol, and you can guess the rest of the story. He has been drinking again and his personality is ugly. We talked to him about the pai...

Lyne · Lyne

Good morning~I am still dumbfounded, and I shouldn't be any longer, when my A looks straight into my eyes and tells me a bold-faced lie. She says she loves me, she wants to stay married, she will work harder, but I don't see any work. Her toolbox is lying, sneaking, deception, self-destruction, rati...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I noticed that the courage to change reading is not posted today. I feel like that I am working the 12th step on a daily basis & that it is not for me to try to change everyone to think the way I do but to carry the message to others whether they are in program or not. I have had the spiritual awakening that I...

Miller · Miller

I have had several people say that one thing I need to do for AA-Husband is to cut off access to his money. Since all is quite tied up (and we are a community property state), I'd like to hear how some other folks have been able to do this. Cut debit card - he got new. Do I just close check account and give him all...

Mirandac · Mirandac

I am glad message board is back up, thank you hugs

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good Morning MIP: Today's reading is about trust, and turning things over to our HP. The writer speaks to the idea behind the phrase 'came to believe' from Step 2, and it made me think of the decision we make to trust and have faith. I always believed, but making the decision to believe and to trust tha...

Minniegirl · Minniegirl

Why is it that I keep beating a dead horse. I never seem to learn. I.ve been married to my AH for 28 years now. And come from a family of drinkers. I guess it.s what I know and maybe comfortable with. This website is great and i.ve been here before. But then I quit coming. I have it in my head that I can st...

John · John

Thanks to Betty, erin, and ken ours site hosting cost is now covered for a year again. Thank each of you for stepping forward and helping me with this situation. I have spent the last few weeks pretty sick with a 3 day stay in hospital, so things just got away from me completely. Now trying to bring things b...

John · John

Dear Friends, I finally started to get some medical help with my daily anxiety attacks, plus bad diarrhea as a symptom of the anxiety attacks, severe depression, chronic fatigue, and my respiratory system being so bad. I was in the hospital for 3 days just a few weeks ago. It appears that most everythi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Funerals stink! 52 sad, mentally ill, sad, drug addict sad, alcoholic sad. SUICIDE, sad. What more can I say? I can relate to the mental illness part. It is just so sad that people who really didn't know her thought she was the crazy lady in our town. I am not much different. If I had the addictions that she...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c refers to step 11, where we seek to improve conscious contact with our HP through prayer and meditation. The reading suggests that how we go about identifying our HP at work in our lives is up to us entirely but it is important that one way or another, we do so if we wish to have the courage to cha...

el-cee · el-cee

I learned in this program that when I put the word 'should' in front of anything Im about to say then Im being judgemental. Who am I to decide what another human being in this world (minus children) should be doing or not doing. If we are following this spiritual program then how do we know what is right or w...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

Hello all, I've not posted in quite awhile but am reaching out to you all for support. I am married 25 years to my AH. We go round and round the alcohol merry-go-round. The lies, being impaired when I expect him to care for the children, driving under the influence, avoidance, smoothing over...polite r...

blindsided · blindsided

My AH is really wearing me down. He tells me he has had a good life and is ready to die, so will not quit drinking. He is mentally abusive to me. He snaps at me all the time. He has urine and bowel incontinence, back problems, heart problems, emphysema (keeps smoking). I can't help it, but sometimes I j...

Jerry F · Jerry F

You all get an A for the proper answer....I get tired of loosing control because of a basketball game thousands of miles away, completely out of my control is being played and referred not to my liking...good I got u p from the sofa and left the room because I still don't do judgement and active resentm...

Dinger045 · Dinger045

Before you read this I want you to know that I write this today for my healing and my coping with having lived with an addict. This is not here to tell you how to feel, or how to make a decision in your life, and it is by no means direction on how to deal with living with an addict. This is just my story, that I fe...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Ohhh I'm in such an ornery mood. I'm sitting in Starbucks at the big table and this young woman sat down at the big table I'm at which honestly don't care about that however RUDE MUCH!? She has slammed things trying to get my attention and let me know she's irritated that I have the nerve to use two of the p...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 12 speaks about the 10th step and suggest making it part of our daily routine as It is a gentle, warm and loving way to take care of ourselves. The steps help us to learn that living one day at a time, facing all issues honestly and with courage we will grow in spirituality and co...

Mirandac · Mirandac

i am a member of recovering doormats and proud of it. It took me a long time in alanon to get there though. I was very glad i could stand up for me by the time my xah left. i was ready for the fallout and Emotionally stronger to cope. i still struggle with my emotional sobriety that is a work in process. I still...

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	Old sticky posts - Read Only Not sure what to do with these so parking them here.	6	91	Mar 10, 2026 by yopame7132

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Courage to Change 20/6 (Preview) Today's c2c is about fear, and the negative coping tools we may have developed to deal with it. For example, many of us, when we are confronted, remain silent rather than speaking up for ourselves and we lose self respect in the process. The reading suggests that remaining silent is in fact reacting, r...	missmeliss	6	714	Jun 21, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Is this the courage? (Preview) Okay, spoke to an alanon talked through all my fears and incessant what ifs. Son is out again, drinking. Fear took over, but right now i feel strong. Going to allow him here tonight and tomorrow morning Im leaving him a letter telling him he must sort accomodation and be out by tomorrow. Where I stay ther...	el-cee	8	733	Jun 21, 2016 by milkwood
	John OR Admins (Preview) I am having problems logging into the ACA message board online here .. It says my IP was banned .. there is no reason this should be ? Can someone please let me know why this is and how soon we can fix this glitch ? Thanks .. hope42day on other board ..	MeTwo2	2	567	Jun 21, 2016 by MeTwo2
	Addict daughter now in prison for robbery (Preview) Hi! I am a one year member of Alanon and attend meetings every Saturday. I kicked my daughter out of the house a year ago after 5 years of abuse and the new knowledge that she was in the heat of becoming a meth addict. She has been homeless since then. On Friday she was arrested and charged with Robbery. She w...	miroslawa	6	778	Jun 20, 2016 by serenity47
	6mths on my own (Preview) Just ducking in here to say that it has been 6 months on my own, away from AH soon to be XAH. Getting the divorce, dealing with the IRS,looking for work has been a real challenge to me.My es sis in law has taken the job i had of "having the wool pulled over your eyes enabler" as far as XAH. I havnt seen or spoken t...	YARNCRAZY	3	639	Jun 20, 2016 by missmeliss
	Emotionally immature (Preview) i found this great old blog and it explained so well what someone being emotionally immature was all about. It is said A's are as mature as when they started drinking. i get that my xah drank hard from 12-24 he was a binger. He seemed okay on the surface and seemed fairly well emotionally centered except...	Mirandac	9	892	Jun 20, 2016 by Mirandac
	Did this ever open my eyes. (Preview) I am not only in-love with an alcoholic. I have found out he is a narcissist, porn addict and pathological liar. Why such a combination of things? Talk about a walking mess, including me. I have finally left this time without crying. I am cried out. Long story short: I left him the last time and took every...	Tampa	11	2716	Jun 20, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Hello, happy father's day (Preview) Hello! I've been absent from the Board for a few weeks but I've been working on my program. I am learning that growth takes time. Today I had an unexpected opportunity to see where I'm at.... my MIL found out today that my qualifier drinks. He ended up in the ER after passing out. I am not at home now so his mo...	Fedora	4	611	Jun 20, 2016 by Jerry F
	Feeling crappy today (Preview) I just have such overwhelming anxiety today and feeling like such a bad mom. Over the weekend I was completely short with my kids as I was overwhelmed and tired. AH hurt his shoulder so he wasn't much help with the kids and called me out on being short with them last night. I took it so personal even tho...	Jazzie18	2	456	Jun 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	It's a new week :) (Preview) Reading through so many of these posts I see so much pain and hurt but also a lot of hope and insight. Words that are spoken here are so true, connect with people on so many levels and it's a great place to come to when needing to connect again with the steps and others walking a similar path. I also hear so m...	Crau	2	573	Jun 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change Reading 6-19-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 19 speaks about being troubled by others behaviors or disappointing turn of events. The reading points out that we don't have to take others actions as personal. We are not have to be a victim of everything that happens unless we choose to see the world that way. If things do not...	hotrod	5	643	Jun 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	Why am I the nut lol (Preview) Why am I the nut lol? My AH is loved with lots of friends. And i.m lonely. I don.T want to be the crazy one. But I guess it.s all the years of living with an alcoholic. I.ve been reading the alanon book. And it.s so me. I.ve went to one meeting. And am going to keep going. I want friends and a social.li...	Minniegirl	5	815	Jun 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	My Dad in a nutshell (Preview) I miss him especially today. He was my hero in the end. He made me laugh & even made me cry. He was the saver of my sanity. He knew what I needed even hugs. He dropped everything to visit me in the hospital when no one else would. He smiled & his face lighted up. He wasn't always there but he made sure th...	Hoot Nanny	2	643	Jun 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	Letting go of relationships/friendships (Preview) Hi all! Just wanted to share and see if anyone has experienced what I am going through... I am currently in a phase of recovery where I am letting go of relationships/friendships that are all with alcoholics/ACoA/Codependents. It took me almost 3 years in recovery to finally come out of denial and tru...	Sandy408	7	723	Jun 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	When life is not what you dreamed it would be (Preview) Yesterday was our 39th Wedding Anniversary. No presents, no "happy anniversary", yes a lunch out but it really could have been any other day of the year. The only mention in relation to our Wedding Day was about the difference in weather! I think I'm finally accepting that life is nothing like I want...	cmw2429	6	730	Jun 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	I'm new & Struggling! (Preview) Hi, I'm new to the site and could use some advice & wanted to see if anyone else has been in the same or similar situation and what your outcome was. After 17.5 years of marriage, my AH & I are in the middle of a divorce. He has been an alcoholic/addict our entire marriage with the addictions spira...	ThreeCmom	10	725	Jun 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	Its 7 pm Sunday but no one is in Meeting Room (Preview) Is there no meeting tonight?	lgnutah	2	625	Jun 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	Some updates and my current mood (Preview) I've got a few updates and I want to talk about what's going on currently. I enjoy being able to use this platform to sort of chronicle my progress and set backs. Today was the last day of school for my son. He is eight and just finished the second grade. These transitions are really hard for me. Adjusting t...	StargazerLily	4	673	Jun 19, 2016 by Mattie
	Saying no,boundaries and taking up for self (Preview) These 3 things irritate me cause I feel that I can't work them or make them work for me,I have a hard time saying no,and setting boundaries or standing my ground these are all aimed at my abf was xabf,we have been getting along great he has slaved himself my yard ,got it looking beautiful,I feel like I'm l...	lookingup	1	504	Jun 19, 2016 by Tampa
	Dry drunk behaviors? H "testing" me. (Preview) Hi all, it's been a long time. My AH has been dry for over 2 years. He did not do any recovery work. Things are certainly much calmer. He is nicer for the most part. No late night crazy drunk shenanigans. However, I am dealing with a lot of what I call "tests" in my mind from him and I am not sure if I am han...	gingerfizz	11	5327	Jun 19, 2016 by Tampa
	I love watching and being a part of Miracles (Preview) and this morning I participated in another as I went to my AA home group..."By the Bay". I left our van to walk over to the cabana where we hold the group and recognized the station wagon we were next to...God!! Both RJ and his MOM clean and sober and the last time I saw her she could not even stand up much...	Jerry F	5	646	Jun 19, 2016 by hotrod
	I think I'm dating a double winner (Preview) Hi all, I've mentioned my friend that I've been spending time with. I guess we are dating but it's more like 'hanging out' together. Not only does he drink straight whiskey on the rocks, he is also wierdly enmeshed with his sister and other family members. He is one of 9 siblings. He is very close wi...	CyndiODAT	7	778	Jun 18, 2016 by Mattie
	Al-Anon works (Preview) This program is a miracle. Since my last post much has changed. The ABF stopped drinking. It was a terrible withdrawal-shaking, sweating, anxiety, sleeplessness, restlessness for 3 days straight. Its now been a month and he remains sober. He found beer and vodka, coolers in the house that I had hid a...	joker	5	612	Jun 18, 2016 by Jerry F
	Courage to Change Reading 6-18-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 18 speaks about what we often feel when we first enter program. Many of us are filled with anger and resentment because it appears other people's live are perfect and we envy what we think they have. The reading goes on to state that in time, after working the program...	hotrod	3	1166	Jun 18, 2016 by Iamhere
	Spitting Nails... (Preview) I know that I shouldn't be angry about this, and usually when I feel angry it is because I am angry at myself but. Our relationship counsellor's response to my comment that I seemed to have had the emotional systems of PTSD was that my parents had problems and as a child I felt helpless. No mention of what...	milkwood	9	3761	Jun 18, 2016 by Iamhere
	I'm new and need help (Preview) Im here because I need help dealing with my life. I haven't been to a meeting and think it would help so I need to get the courage to go. I've been married for 13 years. When we first met, my husband drank all night in the basement with his friend. He then slowed down for a while. He was going out once ever...	Jennie72	11	741	Jun 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	He's finally sobe in AA and everything is going well for him. Why am I still so miserable? (Preview) Hi, I found this in the "How Al-Anon Works" book. I feel so selfish feeling jealous over the time he spends between mettings and phone calls. And here's another dysfunction feeling I have, I feel worried he will meet an AA woman who has AA in common with him. I know he loves me and is the most dedicated man,...	createive	2	630	Jun 17, 2016 by hotrod
	How to stay detached with love (Preview) When things with my AH are not going well I am very good at detaching and that has been a wonderful gift of this program because he can be in any kind of mood and I am able to get on with my own life. I can do the things I need to do for myself. But my AH doesn't drink every day and goes through periods of not drin...	KT2015	4	788	Jun 17, 2016 by kalorrah
	Courage to Change (C2C) 6/17/2016 (Preview) Today's reading talks about the basics of our program of recovery. We are helped by the program in times when we could not or can not do it on our own. We learn to lean on a Higher Power, live one day at a time and with faith and support, we find we can live and even grow through difficult times. Most of us fi...	Iamhere	2	548	Jun 17, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Dealing with a binge drinker (Preview) Hi, I am new to this board and I started Al-Anon and therapy after I realized that my life has hit a physical and mental low dealing with a binge drinking alcoholic family member all of my life. Everytime he's not in a drinking phase everything seems fine and I keep feeling that I don't need to go to Al-an...	Sarahcolorado	12	11574	Jun 17, 2016 by a4l
	Alanon anniversary (Preview) This month is my 3rd year anniversary. I love my f2f group but no one seems to care about their anniversary except for myself and one other member. So the two of us will do something special at one of our meetings. It could be because she and I are older. We haven't had years and years to get better. I spe...	Lyne	7	646	Jun 16, 2016 by Mirandac
	Focus then act. (Preview) Just a reminder for me to focus on what I am doing before I act on something. Prayer doesn't hurt either. Prayers change lives & give opportunity that otherwise may never happen. Just a quick thought.	Hoot Nanny	3	478	Jun 16, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage to Change (C2C) 6/16/2016 (Preview) Today's reading is about detaching with love. The reminder and quote are very powerful ----- Today's reminder --- I am learning the difference between help and interference. Today I will examine the way I offer support. Today's quote --- "Detachment did not mean disinterest....I considered d...	Iamhere	3	619	Jun 16, 2016 by hotrod
	What I have seen (Preview) My parents were alcoholic. I.ve seen my father so drunk he xouldn.t stand. I.ve seen my mother cry and pray and try to fix him. I.ve seen my father try to kill himself with a gun. I.ve seen my father push my mother around and us kids defending our mother. I.ve seen my father soil himself, be arrested,...	Minniegirl	7	625	Jun 16, 2016 by hotrod
	Had "the talk" (Preview) Just needing to share. Last night after another " I'll be home in half an hour" which turned into 4 hours coming home drunk,I think I finally realized I'll be ok on my own. If it comes to that, I will be incredibly sad and heartbroken but will survive. Had a good rational sober talk with him today and I know h...	Jennyp	5	809	Jun 16, 2016 by Jerry F
	Starting to lose hope (Preview) Hi. this is my first time posting something but I really don't know where else to turn. My husband is an alcoholic. We have 3 beautiful boys and have been together for almost 8 years now. In the past 2 years he has been in and out of rehab twice. The last time I really thought he had it. He was sober for six mont...	Lsh8175	6	653	Jun 16, 2016 by Jazzie18
	My Boyfriend (Preview) Good morning! I am a 53 year old woman that has been dating an alcoholic for 8 years. He has always been what is called a "functioning" alcoholic until the past six months. The roller coaster has been rough but now it is becoming a dangerous ride. I am in fear of getting into any vehicle with him. I hav...	miamid47	2	535	Jun 16, 2016 by Mirandac
	Dating .. (Preview) Ok .. I have discovered because things are not going at rocket speed .. I'm not comfortable with letting someone else set the pace. At the same time .. grrr .. I do not like the whole dating game stuff. I'm a little on lock down at the moment out of sheer stubbornness .. I figure I sent the last text so he can...	SerenityRUS	25	848	Jun 16, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	New and can't detach....I'm suffocating (Preview) I don't know where to start. I've been with my fiance for about 2 and a half years. He was sober when we got together and started using behind my back sometime within the past 6 months. Things have come to a head recently where he lost his home and job. He is staying with his mother who is very into AA and Al-An...	DontWantToBeHere	10	869	Jun 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage To Change 15/6 (Preview) Today's c2c talk about the use of sarcasm as a weapon, noting that it does nothing to help fix the problems in a relationship or interaction; it might provide a temporary bit of satisfaction but in the long run does more harm than good. The reading suggests that when feeling frustrated with a person or s...	missmeliss	1	493	Jun 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	LAID OFF AGAIN (Preview) again,crapped on by the world...i did everything possible at new job and still boss not pleased and oh..forgot to tell me id be lid off in a day or two anyway cause they are moving office to manhatten beach way way to far to get to by bus or train. ...so in 6mths only able to get 11/2 wks of work ...money tight...	YARNCRAZY	5	594	Jun 15, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	addict son has started using pain pill and it out of control. (Preview) Our 28 year old son is a alcoholic and drug addict. His wife had a baby a little over a year ago and he stopped all of his bad ugly habits. He was in a accident and got put on Tramadol, and you can guess the rest of the story. He has been drinking again and his personality is ugly. We talked to him about the pai...	ghen7865	4	617	Jun 14, 2016 by ghen7865
	Lying right to my face (Preview) Good morning~I am still dumbfounded, and I shouldn't be any longer, when my A looks straight into my eyes and tells me a bold-faced lie. She says she loves me, she wants to stay married, she will work harder, but I don't see any work. Her toolbox is lying, sneaking, deception, self-destruction, rati...	Lyne	6	1072	Jun 14, 2016 by Jerry F
	Step 12 (Preview) I noticed that the courage to change reading is not posted today. I feel like that I am working the 12th step on a daily basis & that it is not for me to try to change everyone to think the way I do but to carry the message to others whether they are in program or not. I have had the spiritual awakening that I...	Hoot Nanny	2	457	Jun 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Question on How to Cut off Access to Money (Preview) I have had several people say that one thing I need to do for AA-Husband is to cut off access to his money. Since all is quite tied up (and we are a community property state), I'd like to hear how some other folks have been able to do this. Cut debit card - he got new. Do I just close check account and give him all...	Miller	4	573	Jun 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Yeah we are up (Preview) I am glad message board is back up, thank you hugs	Mirandac	3	555	Jun 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today June 14 (Preview) Good Morning MIP: Today's reading is about trust, and turning things over to our HP. The writer speaks to the idea behind the phrase 'came to believe' from Step 2, and it made me think of the decision we make to trust and have faith. I always believed, but making the decision to believe and to trust tha...	yanksfan51	3	529	Jun 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	One more time (Preview) Why is it that I keep beating a dead horse. I never seem to learn. I.ve been married to my AH for 28 years now. And come from a family of drinkers. I guess it.s what I know and maybe comfortable with. This website is great and i.ve been here before. But then I quit coming. I have it in my head that I can st...	Minniegirl	5	540	Jun 14, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Site back up (Preview) Thanks to Betty, erin, and ken ours site hosting cost is now covered for a year again. Thank each of you for stepping forward and helping me with this situation. I have spent the last few weeks pretty sick with a 3 day stay in hospital, so things just got away from me completely. Now trying to bring things b...	John	6	786	Jun 14, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	my status lately... (Preview) Dear Friends, I finally started to get some medical help with my daily anxiety attacks, plus bad diarrhea as a symptom of the anxiety attacks, severe depression, chronic fatigue, and my respiratory system being so bad. I was in the hospital for 3 days just a few weeks ago. It appears that most everythi...	John	10	717	Jun 13, 2016 by wp
	funerals & memories (Preview) Funerals stink! 52 sad, mentally ill, sad, drug addict sad, alcoholic sad. SUICIDE, sad. What more can I say? I can relate to the mental illness part. It is just so sad that people who really didn't know her thought she was the crazy lady in our town. I am not much different. If I had the addictions that she...	Hoot Nanny	1	528	Jun 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage To Change 13/6 (Preview) Today's c2c refers to step 11, where we seek to improve conscious contact with our HP through prayer and meditation. The reading suggests that how we go about identifying our HP at work in our lives is up to us entirely but it is important that one way or another, we do so if we wish to have the courage to cha...	missmeliss	2	532	Jun 13, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Should-ing (Preview) I learned in this program that when I put the word 'should' in front of anything Im about to say then Im being judgemental. Who am I to decide what another human being in this world (minus children) should be doing or not doing. If we are following this spiritual program then how do we know what is right or w...	el-cee	4	622	Jun 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	I am weary (Preview) Hello all, I've not posted in quite awhile but am reaching out to you all for support. I am married 25 years to my AH. We go round and round the alcohol merry-go-round. The lies, being impaired when I expect him to care for the children, driving under the influence, avoidance, smoothing over...polite r...	newleaf66	8	605	Jun 13, 2016 by newleaf66
	What to do? (Preview) My AH is really wearing me down. He tells me he has had a good life and is ready to die, so will not quit drinking. He is mentally abusive to me. He snaps at me all the time. He has urine and bowel incontinence, back problems, heart problems, emphysema (keeps smoking). I can't help it, but sometimes I j...	blindsided	9	701	Jun 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	Can I still lose my composure and get out of hand?? (Preview) You all get an A for the proper answer....I get tired of loosing control because of a basketball game thousands of miles away, completely out of my control is being played and referred not to my liking...good I got u p from the sofa and left the room because I still don't do judgement and active resentm...	Jerry F	7	656	Jun 12, 2016 by Jerry F
	How do you pick up the strands of an unwoven life? (Preview) Before you read this I want you to know that I write this today for my healing and my coping with having lived with an addict. This is not here to tell you how to feel, or how to make a decision in your life, and it is by no means direction on how to deal with living with an addict. This is just my story, that I fe...	Dinger045	6	753	Jun 12, 2016 by likemyheart
	Ornery Mood .. (Preview) Ohhh I'm in such an ornery mood. I'm sitting in Starbucks at the big table and this young woman sat down at the big table I'm at which honestly don't care about that however RUDE MUCH!? She has slammed things trying to get my attention and let me know she's irritated that I have the nerve to use two of the p...	SerenityRUS	0	2016	Jun 12, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	C2C reading for 6-12 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 12 speaks about the 10th step and suggest making it part of our daily routine as It is a gentle, warm and loving way to take care of ourselves. The steps help us to learn that living one day at a time, facing all issues honestly and with courage we will grow in spirituality and co...	hotrod	1	425	Jun 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	recovering doormat (Preview) i am a member of recovering doormats and proud of it. It took me a long time in alanon to get there though. I was very glad i could stand up for me by the time my xah left. i was ready for the fallout and Emotionally stronger to cope. i still struggle with my emotional sobriety that is a work in process. I still...	Mirandac	18	890	Jun 12, 2016 by Mirandac
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.