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tOO many expectations
(Preview)
one of my faults is that i set too high expectations for myself and people i love. I try to reason with myself and lower them but dont succeed at it much. This leaves the recipient feeling less than and that he or she lacks something. Yet i go the other way too. I dont have enough confidence in myself and so i d...
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YARNCRAZY
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0
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485
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Getting to face to face meetings
(Preview)
I have not been to any face to face alanon meetings in a long time now. Part of the reason has to do with me not wanting to walk so far at night. I realize that I can take a cab to and from the meetings and if I want to get better I need to take a cab to the meetings and make them a priority -- Edited by Kellygirl12 on M...
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Kellygirl12
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5
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575
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Living in fear is no way to live
(Preview)
Currently I am living in fear that if I make one more mistake at my job I will be fired. That is actually ridiculous to tell somebody because we all make mistakes. If this is how the company feels and how they operate then I just have to accept it if they decide to let me go. I personally know that I am doing the...
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Kellygirl12
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2
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724
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The gift of time
(Preview)
This August marks the fifth year I've been divorced and away from my ex-A; Last October was 5 years from when he left for the last time and I stumbled upon this board. Thank you John! I'd read somewhere that you should give yourself five years between relationships so that's what I did, put the whole ques...
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likemyheart
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3
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545
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Solution found.
(Preview)
So next weekend, for our birthday, His majesty and I had planned a weekend away and I was feeling worried as he has been drunk/irritable and has mentioned 50-60 times that he plans to "have a few drinks". Anyway since he has kept saying we can 'go wherever I want" I decided today that on the off-chance he...
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missmeliss
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2
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649
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Courage To Change 4/7
(Preview)
Today's c2c speaks about tradition 3- "The relatives of alcoholics, when gathered together for mutual aid, may call themselves an Al-Anon Family Group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation. The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relat...
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missmeliss
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3
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538
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Greiveing
(Preview)
I'm already starting to feel some sadness coming on,for 53 yrs of loving my a/sister,and now seeing it all over with ,it's like this is just the beginning to a ending that's happening,unless she finds her recovery or gets help ,she has made fun of me so much for things I do in my morning routine of working...
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lookingup
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6
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589
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Home sweet home :-/
(Preview)
We got in at around 1am on Friday night. The taxi ride home was kind of gruelling; my parents both got loaded on the plane. His majesty picked us up from the train station and I fell asleep pretty much as soon as we got home. I woke up and opened my suitcase to get out some clean clothes....I washed everythin...
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missmeliss
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6
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792
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I'm being threatened to be fired I need some feedback
(Preview)
I have worked as an office temp for the last six years since I was laid off from my permanent job during the recession in 2010. People ask me why I don't get a permanent job. I tell them that I have seen permanent employees get let go after many years with companies so the word temp and permanent are intercha...
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Kellygirl12
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2
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509
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long distance texting
(Preview)
Real quick I have an ala non friend who I text daily & got me through a rough day. So much gratitude.
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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511
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First Post: Feelings
(Preview)
I have so many beginnings of letters drafted in my head or on little scratch pieces of paper in the past five days. Trying to purge my emotions from my soul so that I can continue living my life and focusing on my goals. But each attempt is interrupted by Ive said that before, and the rope I am leading myself...
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Frenchie78
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5
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5960
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Courage to Change reading 7-3-2016
(Preview)
The C2C reading for July 3 speaks about being rigid and inflexible. It presents at story about a group that always started their meeting in a certain manner and that newcomers at this particular meeting were welcomed and tools shared. One night, the chairperson changed the format and many at th...
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hotrod
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5
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2839
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Alone
(Preview)
I haven't told anyone of the truth of my H's behavior. We've been married 2 years. We have his two kids full time(10 and 9) and we have a 4 month old baby. I feel desperately alone. I went to al anon meetings a year ago but haven't been able to because of newborn and work schedule. We live with his parents righ...
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Anonymouskb
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11
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636
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Enough,finally had enough
(Preview)
me and a/sister haven't been getting along for a while now,so I snapped and well she dont look to good ,no marks on me,she called the law hopeing to have me locked up,law hasn't got here but theres a law called castle doctrine that I have all rights to defend myself in y home she has only been a very over welc...
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lookingup
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7
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674
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Need some support asap
(Preview)
So, my husband's best friend is a terrible alcoholic. He has threatened me, he hurt my son last time he was over, and frankly, I'm not going to be an enabler anymore. My husband is also an alcoholic, and I am trying not to enable him either. Anyway, 4th of July is coming up, and this friend has come here ever...
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mellymoo
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14
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823
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Courage to Change reading 7-2-2016
(Preview)
C2C reading for July 2 speaks about our self destructive behavior. It points out that procrastination is one of those self-destructive behaviors.that hinders our growth and life. We develop this defect by living with the disease of alcoholism and It produces needless anxiety. Al-Anon can hel...
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hotrod
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3
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915
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Update
(Preview)
Hi everybody been missing everyone ,hope all is working out for y'all for we do deserve the best life has to offer,I've been hanging out in aca mip,room,there I have found a lot more about myself and still learning always will be learning ,so I'm trying to balance my alanon here and aca ,it can get overwh...
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lookingup
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3
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521
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Cheating Alcoholic Husband
(Preview)
i'm new to the site and have only posted once before. I found out some detailed information about my cheating alcoholic husband (of 17 years) today and could really use some support. My AH left me & my kids a year ago for his current girlfriend and we are in the middle of a divorce. Since he left I have d...
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ThreeCmom
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4
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904
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Courage to Change (C2C) 7/1/16
(Preview)
Today's C2C reading discusses self-destructive thinking and how it blocks us in daily life and recovery. Most of us have spent way too much time feeling badly about who we are and what we have done. We may have been harshly criticized by others or we may have simply lost perspective and become overly...
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Iamhere
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4
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607
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Need a Sponsor
(Preview)
I'm looking for a female sponsor. I'm not able to make it to meetings but would like someone that I can correspond with via email. Preferably someone who has had an alcoholic spouse and chosen to stay with them. Please respond to this post if you think you might be interested in being my sponsor. Even if o...
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kbanonymous
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12
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8184
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Family Members
(Preview)
Wanted to get some opinions on those who have had talks with family members about them doing therapy or Al-Anon. This is my brother who is going through a really hard time and is so very angry with life in general. He is super stressed out and my sister in law thought that maybe I should have a talk with hi...
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Jazzie18
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6
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578
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New Here. Married to an Alcoholic
(Preview)
This is my first time posting here. My husband of 2 years is a functional alcoholic. We have his two kids full time And our newborn. I'm trying to figure out if is verbally/emotionally abusive. How can I tell? How do I know? how do i recover from how he treats me? At what point do you stand up and defend your...
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Anonymouskb
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13
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906
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Just sad
(Preview)
I've lived with active drinking for almost 20 years with my ex and I've felt many of the usual things, resentment, anger, hopelessness, fear etc all the usual but right now this disease just has me sad. Plain sad. I don't feel the need to change, save, rescue, plead, beg, reason none of it. I don't feel an...
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el-cee
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34
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1229
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Courage to Change (C2C) 6/30/2016
(Preview)
Today's reading is about prayer - it is not for our HP, but rather for us. There are no perfect words and there are no perfect times/ways to pray. Instead, we just need to try as our HP will know what is in our hearts. Today's Reminder is powerful enough to share ---- Prayer is my most personal form of com...
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Iamhere
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5
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643
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letting go...it's a process...an over and over again process. why is it so hard?
(Preview)
i cannot count all of the times that i have let go because i believe that it is necessary for my sanity. all i can do for my friend is pray. over and over. will this processes ever end? i simply cannot allow the love that i have for someone to destroy me. i know this. there's gotta be a way to get through t...
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crazyhope
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2
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594
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At A Loss re Grandkids
(Preview)
Hi, an old timer here. NavGrace in room. New intense problem. One of my adult children, ?A def with behaviour is abusive to his wife as reported to me by my Grandchildren. He has a strangle hold on them and my hubs and I. Sons bio Dad is the A and son is total enabler ie trading vehicles when Dad had a dui...
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IAmStrong
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2
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662
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Do you ever just get so impatient
(Preview)
That you straight out ask an alcoholic if they are insane/liars/psychologically unwell? The a in question is my parent. Her bills aren't paid, she's slurring her words at 10am on a Monday morning,can't remember dates etc and is full of the isms. I really couldn't help myself from asking her if she's g...
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a4l
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7
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681
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Does Al-Anon really have “promises”?
(Preview)
Hi, At a recent Al-Anon convention, I attended, one of the Al-Anon speakers quoted the Al-Anon Promises. I am not familiar with a list of promises (similar to the ones used by A.A. members) for Al-Anon. Does Al-Anon really have promises? I need to know about it. Think this is the right place to ask my dou...
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TamaraStreeter
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4
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1549
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Sadness
(Preview)
I am a mom of an alcoholic. He is 24. I have been attending alanon and trying to work on me. I set a boundary telling him to not come over if he is drinking. He is here and keeps going out to his car. I watched out the window and can see he is drinking. As I am trying to keep the focus on me I know I shouldn't spy on him...
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Wendy8
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4
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526
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Feeling so stuck
(Preview)
For the last couple of weeks I've been feeling so stuck. I just can't get out of it. I am stuck in this cycle of anger and resentment. I just feel really BITTER lately. It's awful to admit that because it's not something I want to be. But that is where I am. Bitter and angry and lashing out at people. I...
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KT2015
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5
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695
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Trembling hands
(Preview)
What makes the alcoholic's hands shake?
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lgnutah
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1
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398
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Reener is
(Preview)
Actually my wife's nick and she is letting me use her IPod to keep up while we are traveling. Central ca. and 103 degrees right now.(((((hugs)))))
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reener
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7
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571
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UPDATE FOR SHAKEN
(Preview)
I have the most understanding boyfriend. I ended up telling him about xah,s call and the note i wrote and he took it wondefully. guess honesty wins out again. i guess i should give myself credit for being brave enough to risk losing new guy.
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YARNCRAZY
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3
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551
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Deeply in love with an alcoholic
(Preview)
We met a few years ago, got very close. We had a strong, unique connection. Nothing physical, just friends. He did ask mw out but it never happened, he always had excuses until he totally disappeared and I assumed he was just not that interested. We lost touch and met a few months ago. It felt so good and...
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Nawew
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15
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950
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How will i feel....
(Preview)
When and if my ah is diognoised with an alcoholic related ilness? Will it be an " I told you so" moment or will I be sympathetic? I will take care of him until the end but will I try to comfort him or tell him to stop whining because he did it to himself,or will I fall somewhere in between these feelings? Things...
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pixie
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8
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664
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Court hearing
(Preview)
I decided to take my XAH back to court. He has told me he will not pay for our son's private school next year but he never provided me with a better solution and didn't move on the suggestions that he made. I went to a lawyer who helped me draft a petition to enforce school choice and in the process, the lawy...
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andromeda
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4
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555
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Courage To Change 29/6
(Preview)
Today's C2C speaks of step 4, and the value of recognising our assets within our fearless and searching moral inventory. It suggests that although at first many of us cannot see the value in recognising our assets, these are in fact the foundation on which our new life is being built; if we don't learn...
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missmeliss
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3
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622
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Reacting and God's will
(Preview)
I have had a resentment swirling around my mind for days, Ive let it go, discussed it over and over with non alanon people, let it go, took it back, let it go and then I have manipulated a conversation through being passive aggressive and the person of course then asked the question 'whats wrong' and then...
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el-cee
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2
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688
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Feeling alone and broken
(Preview)
both my brothers have had addiction for about 15 years now. The brother I'm closest too or the one I always wanted a relationship with went to prison for 2 years and got out about 1.5 years ago and had been clean for about 3 years or so. He relapsed badly about 6 months ago and is back on the dark Path. My fathe...
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Daniela214
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6
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703
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Keep going to Step 1 during healing of A
(Preview)
just when you think things are getting better with this disease, I am knocked back down to Step 1. This has been a tough week. My A has been sober now for 42 days, but this disease keeps unfolding into this seemingly impossible way to a cure. I know it can only be arrested. But I hate seeing all the physical s...
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gabigail
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7
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748
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Hope for Today June 28
(Preview)
Good morning Everyone- first- thank you all for your support and encouragement yesterday. It was a great reminder to me that we are human beings who stumble, trip, fall and are lifted up again by those around us. My house is officially on the market now and was shown once last night. That has contrib...
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yanksfan51
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4
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464
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Resentment
(Preview)
I am trying to let go of a resentment I have this morning. I woke up with it and cant shake it and I know it will block the good in today so I thought I would bring it here and see if I can let it go. I dont even know if I have the right to have it. Im annoyed and angry at a persons reactions and watching dysfunction th...
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el-cee
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7
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672
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it eventually works out
(Preview)
Real quick. I just want to say that I had a rough week but it is working out. I just had to wait for awhile for something to happen & trust in God. It was worth waiting for. I am blessed. I never had it so good. I just have to believe & take it one day at a time. Thanks MIP!
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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353
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Help with 'detaching with love'
(Preview)
My husband has recently (under duress from me) sought help from his doctor for his alcoholism. His doctor has referred him to a specialist alcohol dependence team. This is after years of him drinking to excess and in the last couple of years drinking in secret and drinking at any and every opportuni...
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Teddybear1
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5
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569
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dealt with shaken
(Preview)
decided not to tell new guy about XAH's call but thought XAH deserves some reconition after 25 yrs, so printed simple note and sent it. thanking him for all the concerts, trips and gifts i recieved from him. Also thanking him for the support when i was sick and also support when i was grieving the loss of m...
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YARNCRAZY
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5
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551
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Hurting today
(Preview)
hi everybody- i haven't posted in a while other than my Tuesday shares. I am having a hard time today. About to put my house on the market, and after almostvthree years apart and my ex AH begging and pleading with me he has now met someone new. There is no earthly reason that I am bothered by this but I am h...
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yanksfan51
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10
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620
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High anxiety!
(Preview)
I am taking a trip with my mother to visit my sister. My mother is elderly and wants to visit my sister in alaska one more time. So I volunteered to go with her. Now I know its a very dumb idea. My mother is an alcholi and severely codependent and nasty with her tongue at times. My sister and I have suffer...
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Minniegirl
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2
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451
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Courage to Change 27/6
(Preview)
Today's c2c is about sponsoring, and how we might reject the idea of sponsoring someone because we believe that we don't have enough recovery or, wqe don't have enough to offer another person. The reading suggests that our HP brings into our lives people that can help us grow, so if someone asks us to sp...
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missmeliss
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3
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431
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Step 12
(Preview)
Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery togethttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t62328663/alanon-ste...
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hotrod
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2
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460
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Becoming a sponsor
(Preview)
Hello and good evening to all I am looking for some suggestions from anyone who has experienced being a sponsor. I have been in Al anon for 3 years and I've worked the steps and traditions with a sponsor. I was recently asked by a newcomer if I could sponsor them a month ago but I told her I felt I wasn't rea...
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Sandy408
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2
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559
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Bruising
(Preview)
The other day we were at a family get together at my son and his girlfriends house. Her 83 year old grandmother was there and she asked my ah if he was on coumadin,a blood thinner. Being the first time shes met my ah she doesn't know him. But i wanted to tell her his blood thinner is an excessive amount of busc...
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pixie
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6
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669
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Please remind me
(Preview)
I'm back again for the 3rd time granted I never should of left because I still needed to get better , but thinking since I was not living in the alcoholics life at that time I thought I was better. Well back living with my ex AH with the attempt to try it again to bring the family back together . Well he back in A...
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Hope floats
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3
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630
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Drama
(Preview)
What is this thing called "drama" ? We were subdued by an alcoholic father, so we could never express our feelings let alone have drama! Is it a minipulative maneuver?, r people bored and need excitement? Is it mostly in alcoholic families? Any input would help me learn about this...... Linsc
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LinSC
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6
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529
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Shaken
(Preview)
Hey I wish all of you were with me last night. I havnt spoken to soon to be XAH IN 6MTHS. Last night he called and i actually spoke to him. he has been sober over 100 days. He was crying about the divorce and how he missed me etc. I thought to myself, maybe this isnt such a good idea for me to carry on this conversa...
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YARNCRAZY
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3
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388
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it is 5 am & i am at my wits end.
(Preview)
What do I do? I have been struggling w getting up at 3 or 4 in the morning & no one is up! I have insomnia & have had it for a very long time. I take meds but they don't always work. I even go to bed early. So the reason might be obsessive thinking or something else. I know you aren't professional people....
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Hoot Nanny
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11
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547
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Courage to Change Reading 6-26-2016
(Preview)
The C2C reading for June 26 talks about" Forgiveness". It points out that when we come to Al-Anon we may be full of bitterness towards many people. However,in time, we discover that this bitterness only hurts ourselves more than anyone else and determine that we need to search for another way.We als...
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hotrod
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1
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512
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New to Al-anon, trying to work through shame.
(Preview)
Hi all, My husband and I just spent 4 days visiting my (alcoholic) brother who recently had a stroke and has permanent brain damage. That relationship (brother and I) has been strained for years but I feel so terribly sorry for him and his family over this situation. I feel like my husband is focusing...
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wendy010989
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4
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497
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When a recovering alcoholic has arrested development
(Preview)
Does he/she ever mature and grow up? What does it take? linsc -- Edited by LinSC on Wednesday 22nd of June 2016 07:23:53 PM
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LinSC
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6
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907
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Struggling with fear, insecurity, and self doubt
(Preview)
Can anyone else relate? I have a great life today. I'm in a far better place than I was just 18 months-2 years ago. I have a decent job (the pay isn't great and there's no health benefits, but the job is in an industry I enjoy and the people I work with are great and it's only 8 miles from home). I have a man i...
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andromeda
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11
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1130
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Courage to Change Reading 6-25
(Preview)
The C2C reading for June 25 speaks about Step Six. This is the Step that asks that we become entirely ready for God to remove our defects. The reading suggests these defects are like roadblocks that keep us stranded and unable to freely travel life's many roads.The reading points out, that one of...
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hotrod
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2
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631
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