Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

pixie · pixie

The other day we were at a family get together at my son and his girlfriends house. Her 83 year old grandmother was there and she asked my ah if he was on coumadin,a blood thinner. Being the first time shes met my ah she doesn't know him. But i wanted to tell her his blood thinner is an excessive amount of busc...

Hope floats · Hope floats

I'm back again for the 3rd time granted I never should of left because I still needed to get better , but thinking since I was not living in the alcoholics life at that time I thought I was better. Well back living with my ex AH with the attempt to try it again to bring the family back together . Well he back in A...

LinSC · LinSC

What is this thing called "drama" ? We were subdued by an alcoholic father, so we could never express our feelings let alone have drama! Is it a minipulative maneuver?, r people bored and need excitement? Is it mostly in alcoholic families? Any input would help me learn about this...... Linsc

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Hey I wish all of you were with me last night. I havnt spoken to soon to be XAH IN 6MTHS. Last night he called and i actually spoke to him. he has been sober over 100 days. He was crying about the divorce and how he missed me etc. I thought to myself, maybe this isnt such a good idea for me to carry on this conversa...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

What do I do? I have been struggling w getting up at 3 or 4 in the morning & no one is up! I have insomnia & have had it for a very long time. I take meds but they don't always work. I even go to bed early. So the reason might be obsessive thinking or something else. I know you aren't professional people....

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 26 talks about" Forgiveness". It points out that when we come to Al-Anon we may be full of bitterness towards many people. However,in time, we discover that this bitterness only hurts ourselves more than anyone else and determine that we need to search for another way.We als...

wendy010989 · wendy010989

Hi all, My husband and I just spent 4 days visiting my (alcoholic) brother who recently had a stroke and has permanent brain damage. That relationship (brother and I) has been strained for years but I feel so terribly sorry for him and his family over this situation. I feel like my husband is focusing...

LinSC · LinSC

Does he/she ever mature and grow up? What does it take? linsc -- Edited by LinSC on Wednesday 22nd of June 2016 07:23:53 PM

andromeda · andromeda

Can anyone else relate? I have a great life today. I'm in a far better place than I was just 18 months-2 years ago. I have a decent job (the pay isn't great and there's no health benefits, but the job is in an industry I enjoy and the people I work with are great and it's only 8 miles from home). I have a man i...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 25 speaks about Step Six. This is the Step that asks that we become entirely ready for God to remove our defects. The reading suggests these defects are like roadblocks that keep us stranded and unable to freely travel life's many roads.The reading points out, that one of...

ConfusedMom2605 · ConfusedMom2605

My daughter and son-in-law were a few years sober. They have been having hard times financially in the last couple of months. He lost his job as a result of taking prescribed pain pills for a swollen ankle. He doctor shopped and became addicted quickly. They both avoided this as if it wasn't happeni...

Carrot · Carrot

Hello everyone, this is the first time I've ever participated in something like this -- where I'm seeking advice about my problems. I usually just hide everything bc I am embarrassed it is happening to me and I'm having a difficult time accepting truth. I have been married 15 months to my husband who ha...

Iamhere · Iamhere

A friend of mine posted this prayer on Facebook.....just wanted to share it here - it's a lovely prayer!!The Knots Prayer Dear God: Please untie the knots that are in my mind, my heart and my life. Remove the have nots, the can nots and the do nots that I have in my mind.Erase the will nots, may nots, migh...

Mirandac · Mirandac

I love and embrace my healthy anger, I am no longer a doormat. I am still a little prickly, i do not people Please or hand any one else my power, Anymore. This program has given me so much Inner healing. I now have good strong boundaries. i still do not like conflict but will forge Ahead if its needed to p...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP family and TGIF!!! Today's reading is all about finding miracles and seeing our success in that which happens each day, big or small. The reading starts out with a fable about a farmer who is wanting to increase production of eggs from his hens. He decides to charm them all day long,...

KT2015 · KT2015

Oh I've been angry this week. Angry angry angry! It all came to a head today and now it doesn't have such a hold on me. My mom did something unkind to me and I took it personally, my AH was holding a resentment towards me....and I took it personally, my boss got annoyed and sent me a critical email and .......

lookingup · lookingup

hi everybody ,been missing my home group here,missing you all,I've been checking and reading a lot in the aca online group,very awesome I saw myself over n over in the laundry lists,scary at 1st.i accepted it,and went on about my wanting to learn more.ive also had moving on my mind last few days,im 53 y...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I got so fed up this morning w my AH. It was over some petty thing & I lost it! He said I said. I yelled. Tried to defend myself really.long story. I cried apologized for my behavior my side of the street. He eventually got quiet & sad. The thing is he made a statement that said that how did he put up w me...

alexmaui · alexmaui

Since my last post my AH died. We had been living apart for 5 years.. I was doing some dating but no one special. I was unhappy and alone. I hit bottom one day and asked God to help me find someone special... Well the next day I went to a wedding and a man asked me to dance. It was so natural he was widowed. I was st...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

I remember hearing the saying,The man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man.Today this feels very powerful. There is no such thing as drinking normally in our alcoholic home. There is drinking until its gone, and then drinking some more, and then getting sick and s...

lisa sa · lisa sa

Hi All I am new to Alanon and so you may all be way ahead of me on this. I made a decision about 3 months ago that I have to leave my abf of 10 years, we have 2 small boys. However due to financial and practical issues I cant leave now and so I'm trying to use the steps to make it bearable, and to put myself in the best...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's courage to change reading is about honesty. The reminder ---- "I know that honesty is an essential part of the Twelve Steps. I am willing to be more honest with myself today." Today's quote ---- "Where is there dignity unless there is honesty?" Being honest in recovery takes courage, but i...

marysmommy · marysmommy

Hi- I'm new here. My H is a problem drinker, who will go weeks with no issues then suddenly binge drink. When he binge drinks he embarrasses himself, accidentally damages other people's property, etc. He is never violent, though he does have drunk behaviors that can alarm me. One of those is follo...

Fedora · Fedora

So I had one good day of detachment. Now I'm percolating in a darker space but I came here to vent momentarily. Here's a family milestone nobody wants to achieve: the first time someone tells your kids "your daddy got drunk and passed out and the police came"! Kids got this from their cousin. The story...

sisterbob · sisterbob

Apologies in advance for this will be a bit lengthy. My sister is the youngest of the family. She is college educated, twice married and divorced, has 3 beautiful and healthy children, and a heroin addict. Life finally caught up to her a few years ago; she lost custody of her children and was senten...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I have just called my uni and finally gotten through- to a new girl who was relaying a conversation between me and the other girl who is "investigating" my case. The 3rd hand information I was given (no, she couldn't come to the phone apparently) was that the person who can make the final decision on my ca...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c discusses the fact that many of us arrive in al-anon preoccupied with what he/she/they did. The reading suggests that when we blame others for our unpleasant feelings, we give away our power to them. It rightly points out that no-one can make me feel anything except for myself. When we foc...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

If things getting any better, I don't know what I am going to do. My sober AH is behaving himself more & more every day. I can almost count on him to be kind & thoughtful. He gives me roses often & still cooks for me every night. He makes the bed, mows the lawn & a whole lot of other things. He i...

KT2015 · KT2015

I don't even know what I'm going to write about or what the theme is but I'm just going to start and see where it goes.... Yesterday was not a good day for me. In fact it was bad. I was irritable and ill tempered and it snuck up on me. I think it might have had to do with having a family member visit the night...

slynnmg · slynnmg

Hey friends, This is my first post on this board, and wanted to know how some of you have overcome/deal with issues of abandonment? They are affecting my relationship at the moment to the point where it is stressing out my boyfriend (who isn't my qualifier), and I'm wondering what methods you use to cop...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c is about fear, and the negative coping tools we may have developed to deal with it. For example, many of us, when we are confronted, remain silent rather than speaking up for ourselves and we lose self respect in the process. The reading suggests that remaining silent is in fact reacting, r...

el-cee · el-cee

Okay, spoke to an alanon talked through all my fears and incessant what ifs. Son is out again, drinking. Fear took over, but right now i feel strong. Going to allow him here tonight and tomorrow morning Im leaving him a letter telling him he must sort accomodation and be out by tomorrow. Where I stay ther...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

I am having problems logging into the ACA message board online here .. It says my IP was banned .. there is no reason this should be ? Can someone please let me know why this is and how soon we can fix this glitch ? Thanks .. hope42day on other board ..

miroslawa · miroslawa

Hi! I am a one year member of Alanon and attend meetings every Saturday. I kicked my daughter out of the house a year ago after 5 years of abuse and the new knowledge that she was in the heat of becoming a meth addict. She has been homeless since then. On Friday she was arrested and charged with Robbery. She w...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Just ducking in here to say that it has been 6 months on my own, away from AH soon to be XAH. Getting the divorce, dealing with the IRS,looking for work has been a real challenge to me.My es sis in law has taken the job i had of "having the wool pulled over your eyes enabler" as far as XAH. I havnt seen or spoken t...

Mirandac · Mirandac

i found this great old blog and it explained so well what someone being emotionally immature was all about. It is said A's are as mature as when they started drinking. i get that my xah drank hard from 12-24 he was a binger. He seemed okay on the surface and seemed fairly well emotionally centered except...

Tampa · Tampa

I am not only in-love with an alcoholic. I have found out he is a narcissist, porn addict and pathological liar. Why such a combination of things? Talk about a walking mess, including me. I have finally left this time without crying. I am cried out. Long story short: I left him the last time and took every...

Fedora · Fedora

Hello! I've been absent from the Board for a few weeks but I've been working on my program. I am learning that growth takes time. Today I had an unexpected opportunity to see where I'm at.... my MIL found out today that my qualifier drinks. He ended up in the ER after passing out. I am not at home now so his mo...

Jazzie18 · Jazzie18

I just have such overwhelming anxiety today and feeling like such a bad mom. Over the weekend I was completely short with my kids as I was overwhelmed and tired. AH hurt his shoulder so he wasn't much help with the kids and called me out on being short with them last night. I took it so personal even tho...

Crau · Crau

Reading through so many of these posts I see so much pain and hurt but also a lot of hope and insight. Words that are spoken here are so true, connect with people on so many levels and it's a great place to come to when needing to connect again with the steps and others walking a similar path. I also hear so m...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 19 speaks about being troubled by others behaviors or disappointing turn of events. The reading points out that we don't have to take others actions as personal. We are not have to be a victim of everything that happens unless we choose to see the world that way. If things do not...

Minniegirl · Minniegirl

Why am I the nut lol? My AH is loved with lots of friends. And i.m lonely. I don.T want to be the crazy one. But I guess it.s all the years of living with an alcoholic. I.ve been reading the alanon book. And it.s so me. I.ve went to one meeting. And am going to keep going. I want friends and a social.li...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I miss him especially today. He was my hero in the end. He made me laugh & even made me cry. He was the saver of my sanity. He knew what I needed even hugs. He dropped everything to visit me in the hospital when no one else would. He smiled & his face lighted up. He wasn't always there but he made sure th...

Sandy408 · Sandy408

Hi all! Just wanted to share and see if anyone has experienced what I am going through... I am currently in a phase of recovery where I am letting go of relationships/friendships that are all with alcoholics/ACoA/Codependents. It took me almost 3 years in recovery to finally come out of denial and tru...

cmw2429 · cmw2429

Yesterday was our 39th Wedding Anniversary. No presents, no "happy anniversary", yes a lunch out but it really could have been any other day of the year. The only mention in relation to our Wedding Day was about the difference in weather! I think I'm finally accepting that life is nothing like I want...

ThreeCmom · ThreeCmom

Hi, I'm new to the site and could use some advice & wanted to see if anyone else has been in the same or similar situation and what your outcome was. After 17.5 years of marriage, my AH & I are in the middle of a divorce. He has been an alcoholic/addict our entire marriage with the addictions spira...

lgnutah · lgnutah

Is there no meeting tonight?

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

I've got a few updates and I want to talk about what's going on currently. I enjoy being able to use this platform to sort of chronicle my progress and set backs. Today was the last day of school for my son. He is eight and just finished the second grade. These transitions are really hard for me. Adjusting t...

lookingup · lookingup

These 3 things irritate me cause I feel that I can't work them or make them work for me,I have a hard time saying no,and setting boundaries or standing my ground these are all aimed at my abf was xabf,we have been getting along great he has slaved himself my yard ,got it looking beautiful,I feel like I'm l...

gingerfizz · gingerfizz

Hi all, it's been a long time. My AH has been dry for over 2 years. He did not do any recovery work. Things are certainly much calmer. He is nicer for the most part. No late night crazy drunk shenanigans. However, I am dealing with a lot of what I call "tests" in my mind from him and I am not sure if I am han...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and this morning I participated in another as I went to my AA home group..."By the Bay". I left our van to walk over to the cabana where we hold the group and recognized the station wagon we were next to...God!! Both RJ and his MOM clean and sober and the last time I saw her she could not even stand up much...

CyndiODAT · CyndiODAT

Hi all, I've mentioned my friend that I've been spending time with. I guess we are dating but it's more like 'hanging out' together. Not only does he drink straight whiskey on the rocks, he is also wierdly enmeshed with his sister and other family members. He is one of 9 siblings. He is very close wi...

joker · joker

This program is a miracle. Since my last post much has changed. The ABF stopped drinking. It was a terrible withdrawal-shaking, sweating, anxiety, sleeplessness, restlessness for 3 days straight. Its now been a month and he remains sober. He found beer and vodka, coolers in the house that I had hid a...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 18 speaks about what we often feel when we first enter program. Many of us are filled with anger and resentment because it appears other people's live are perfect and we envy what we think they have. The reading goes on to state that in time, after working the program...

milkwood · milkwood

I know that I shouldn't be angry about this, and usually when I feel angry it is because I am angry at myself but. Our relationship counsellor's response to my comment that I seemed to have had the emotional systems of PTSD was that my parents had problems and as a child I felt helpless. No mention of what...

Jennie72 · Jennie72

Im here because I need help dealing with my life. I haven't been to a meeting and think it would help so I need to get the courage to go. I've been married for 13 years. When we first met, my husband drank all night in the basement with his friend. He then slowed down for a while. He was going out once ever...

createive · createive

Hi, I found this in the "How Al-Anon Works" book. I feel so selfish feeling jealous over the time he spends between mettings and phone calls. And here's another dysfunction feeling I have, I feel worried he will meet an AA woman who has AA in common with him. I know he loves me and is the most dedicated man,...

KT2015 · KT2015

When things with my AH are not going well I am very good at detaching and that has been a wonderful gift of this program because he can be in any kind of mood and I am able to get on with my own life. I can do the things I need to do for myself. But my AH doesn't drink every day and goes through periods of not drin...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about the basics of our program of recovery. We are helped by the program in times when we could not or can not do it on our own. We learn to lean on a Higher Power, live one day at a time and with faith and support, we find we can live and even grow through difficult times. Most of us fi...

Sarahcolorado · Sarahcolorado

Hi, I am new to this board and I started Al-Anon and therapy after I realized that my life has hit a physical and mental low dealing with a binge drinking alcoholic family member all of my life. Everytime he's not in a drinking phase everything seems fine and I keep feeling that I don't need to go to Al-an...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Bruising (Preview) The other day we were at a family get together at my son and his girlfriends house. Her 83 year old grandmother was there and she asked my ah if he was on coumadin,a blood thinner. Being the first time shes met my ah she doesn't know him. But i wanted to tell her his blood thinner is an excessive amount of busc...	pixie	6	574	Jun 27, 2016 by pixie
	Please remind me (Preview) I'm back again for the 3rd time granted I never should of left because I still needed to get better , but thinking since I was not living in the alcoholics life at that time I thought I was better. Well back living with my ex AH with the attempt to try it again to bring the family back together . Well he back in A...	Hope floats	3	530	Jun 26, 2016 by Mirandac
	Drama (Preview) What is this thing called "drama" ? We were subdued by an alcoholic father, so we could never express our feelings let alone have drama! Is it a minipulative maneuver?, r people bored and need excitement? Is it mostly in alcoholic families? Any input would help me learn about this...... Linsc	LinSC	6	453	Jun 26, 2016 by maryjane
	Shaken (Preview) Hey I wish all of you were with me last night. I havnt spoken to soon to be XAH IN 6MTHS. Last night he called and i actually spoke to him. he has been sober over 100 days. He was crying about the divorce and how he missed me etc. I thought to myself, maybe this isnt such a good idea for me to carry on this conversa...	YARNCRAZY	3	305	Jun 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	it is 5 am & i am at my wits end. (Preview) What do I do? I have been struggling w getting up at 3 or 4 in the morning & no one is up! I have insomnia & have had it for a very long time. I take meds but they don't always work. I even go to bed early. So the reason might be obsessive thinking or something else. I know you aren't professional people....	Hoot Nanny	11	488	Jun 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change Reading 6-26-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 26 talks about" Forgiveness". It points out that when we come to Al-Anon we may be full of bitterness towards many people. However,in time, we discover that this bitterness only hurts ourselves more than anyone else and determine that we need to search for another way.We als...	hotrod	1	416	Jun 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	New to Al-anon, trying to work through shame. (Preview) Hi all, My husband and I just spent 4 days visiting my (alcoholic) brother who recently had a stroke and has permanent brain damage. That relationship (brother and I) has been strained for years but I feel so terribly sorry for him and his family over this situation. I feel like my husband is focusing...	wendy010989	4	399	Jun 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	When a recovering alcoholic has arrested development (Preview) Does he/she ever mature and grow up? What does it take? linsc -- Edited by LinSC on Wednesday 22nd of June 2016 07:23:53 PM	LinSC	6	807	Jun 26, 2016 by Doingmybest
	Struggling with fear, insecurity, and self doubt (Preview) Can anyone else relate? I have a great life today. I'm in a far better place than I was just 18 months-2 years ago. I have a decent job (the pay isn't great and there's no health benefits, but the job is in an industry I enjoy and the people I work with are great and it's only 8 miles from home). I have a man i...	andromeda	11	1036	Jun 25, 2016 by pinkchip
	Courage to Change Reading 6-25 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 25 speaks about Step Six. This is the Step that asks that we become entirely ready for God to remove our defects. The reading suggests these defects are like roadblocks that keep us stranded and unable to freely travel life's many roads.The reading points out, that one of...	hotrod	2	452	Jun 25, 2016 by Mirandac
	Daughter and son-in-law went on a bender last night... How do I handle it? (Preview) My daughter and son-in-law were a few years sober. They have been having hard times financially in the last couple of months. He lost his job as a result of taking prescribed pain pills for a swollen ankle. He doctor shopped and became addicted quickly. They both avoided this as if it wasn't happeni...	ConfusedMom2605	2	427	Jun 25, 2016 by Iamhere
	Need some advice (Preview) Hello everyone, this is the first time I've ever participated in something like this -- where I'm seeking advice about my problems. I usually just hide everything bc I am embarrassed it is happening to me and I'm having a difficult time accepting truth. I have been married 15 months to my husband who ha...	Carrot	4	444	Jun 25, 2016 by Doingmybest
	The Knots Prayer... (Preview) A friend of mine posted this prayer on Facebook.....just wanted to share it here - it's a lovely prayer!!The Knots Prayer Dear God: Please untie the knots that are in my mind, my heart and my life. Remove the have nots, the can nots and the do nots that I have in my mind.Erase the will nots, may nots, migh...	Iamhere	4	347	Jun 24, 2016 by Mirandac
	Healthy anger (Preview) I love and embrace my healthy anger, I am no longer a doormat. I am still a little prickly, i do not people Please or hand any one else my power, Anymore. This program has given me so much Inner healing. I now have good strong boundaries. i still do not like conflict but will forge Ahead if its needed to p...	Mirandac	4	307	Jun 24, 2016 by Mirandac
	Courage to Change (C2C) 6/24/16 (Preview) Good morning MIP family and TGIF!!! Today's reading is all about finding miracles and seeing our success in that which happens each day, big or small. The reading starts out with a fable about a farmer who is wanting to increase production of eggs from his hens. He decides to charm them all day long,...	Iamhere	3	406	Jun 24, 2016 by maryjane
	Fed up and angry (Preview) Oh I've been angry this week. Angry angry angry! It all came to a head today and now it doesn't have such a hold on me. My mom did something unkind to me and I took it personally, my AH was holding a resentment towards me....and I took it personally, my boss got annoyed and sent me a critical email and .......	KT2015	6	590	Jun 24, 2016 by maryjane
	Moving on my mind (Preview) hi everybody ,been missing my home group here,missing you all,I've been checking and reading a lot in the aca online group,very awesome I saw myself over n over in the laundry lists,scary at 1st.i accepted it,and went on about my wanting to learn more.ive also had moving on my mind last few days,im 53 y...	lookingup	4	487	Jun 23, 2016 by lookingup
	i did engage this time (Preview) I got so fed up this morning w my AH. It was over some petty thing & I lost it! He said I said. I yelled. Tried to defend myself really.long story. I cried apologized for my behavior my side of the street. He eventually got quiet & sad. The thing is he made a statement that said that how did he put up w me...	Hoot Nanny	3	411	Jun 23, 2016 by Iamhere
	Not again!... (Preview) Since my last post my AH died. We had been living apart for 5 years.. I was doing some dating but no one special. I was unhappy and alone. I hit bottom one day and asked God to help me find someone special... Well the next day I went to a wedding and a man asked me to dance. It was so natural he was widowed. I was st...	alexmaui	4	501	Jun 23, 2016 by alexmaui
	A Cunning and Baffling Disease (Preview) I remember hearing the saying,The man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man.Today this feels very powerful. There is no such thing as drinking normally in our alcoholic home. There is drinking until its gone, and then drinking some more, and then getting sick and s...	Bethany66	12	864	Jun 23, 2016 by Freetime
	Daily Life (Preview) Hi All I am new to Alanon and so you may all be way ahead of me on this. I made a decision about 3 months ago that I have to leave my abf of 10 years, we have 2 small boys. However due to financial and practical issues I cant leave now and so I'm trying to use the steps to make it bearable, and to put myself in the best...	lisa sa	2	511	Jun 23, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 6/23/16 (Preview) Today's courage to change reading is about honesty. The reminder ---- "I know that honesty is an essential part of the Twelve Steps. I am willing to be more honest with myself today." Today's quote ---- "Where is there dignity unless there is honesty?" Being honest in recovery takes courage, but i...	Iamhere	1	370	Jun 23, 2016 by hotrod
	Baby Safety & Detatchment (Preview) Hi- I'm new here. My H is a problem drinker, who will go weeks with no issues then suddenly binge drink. When he binge drinks he embarrasses himself, accidentally damages other people's property, etc. He is never violent, though he does have drunk behaviors that can alarm me. One of those is follo...	marysmommy	10	493	Jun 23, 2016 by Iamhere
	Consequences and family milestones you don't want to achieve (Preview) So I had one good day of detachment. Now I'm percolating in a darker space but I came here to vent momentarily. Here's a family milestone nobody wants to achieve: the first time someone tells your kids "your daddy got drunk and passed out and the police came"! Kids got this from their cousin. The story...	Fedora	3	512	Jun 23, 2016 by lisa sa
	sibling has relapsed / any advice is helpful (Preview) Apologies in advance for this will be a bit lengthy. My sister is the youngest of the family. She is college educated, twice married and divorced, has 3 beautiful and healthy children, and a heroin addict. Life finally caught up to her a few years ago; she lost custody of her children and was senten...	sisterbob	4	585	Jun 22, 2016 by Sandy408
	Oh you're kidding. (Preview) I have just called my uni and finally gotten through- to a new girl who was relaying a conversation between me and the other girl who is "investigating" my case. The 3rd hand information I was given (no, she couldn't come to the phone apparently) was that the person who can make the final decision on my ca...	missmeliss	9	565	Jun 22, 2016 by Mirandac
	Courage to Change 22/6 (Preview) Today's c2c discusses the fact that many of us arrive in al-anon preoccupied with what he/she/they did. The reading suggests that when we blame others for our unpleasant feelings, we give away our power to them. It rightly points out that no-one can make me feel anything except for myself. When we foc...	missmeliss	3	416	Jun 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	if things get better than this... (Preview) If things getting any better, I don't know what I am going to do. My sober AH is behaving himself more & more every day. I can almost count on him to be kind & thoughtful. He gives me roses often & still cooks for me every night. He makes the bed, mows the lawn & a whole lot of other things. He i...	Hoot Nanny	5	485	Jun 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	a bit of a ramble (Preview) I don't even know what I'm going to write about or what the theme is but I'm just going to start and see where it goes.... Yesterday was not a good day for me. In fact it was bad. I was irritable and ill tempered and it snuck up on me. I think it might have had to do with having a family member visit the night...	KT2015	7	504	Jun 21, 2016 by Anonymouskb
	Abandonment Issues anyone? (Preview) Hey friends, This is my first post on this board, and wanted to know how some of you have overcome/deal with issues of abandonment? They are affecting my relationship at the moment to the point where it is stressing out my boyfriend (who isn't my qualifier), and I'm wondering what methods you use to cop...	slynnmg	6	610	Jun 21, 2016 by Mirandac
	Courage to Change 20/6 (Preview) Today's c2c is about fear, and the negative coping tools we may have developed to deal with it. For example, many of us, when we are confronted, remain silent rather than speaking up for ourselves and we lose self respect in the process. The reading suggests that remaining silent is in fact reacting, r...	missmeliss	6	501	Jun 21, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Is this the courage? (Preview) Okay, spoke to an alanon talked through all my fears and incessant what ifs. Son is out again, drinking. Fear took over, but right now i feel strong. Going to allow him here tonight and tomorrow morning Im leaving him a letter telling him he must sort accomodation and be out by tomorrow. Where I stay ther...	el-cee	8	500	Jun 21, 2016 by milkwood
	John OR Admins (Preview) I am having problems logging into the ACA message board online here .. It says my IP was banned .. there is no reason this should be ? Can someone please let me know why this is and how soon we can fix this glitch ? Thanks .. hope42day on other board ..	MeTwo2	2	385	Jun 21, 2016 by MeTwo2
	Addict daughter now in prison for robbery (Preview) Hi! I am a one year member of Alanon and attend meetings every Saturday. I kicked my daughter out of the house a year ago after 5 years of abuse and the new knowledge that she was in the heat of becoming a meth addict. She has been homeless since then. On Friday she was arrested and charged with Robbery. She w...	miroslawa	6	565	Jun 20, 2016 by serenity47
	6mths on my own (Preview) Just ducking in here to say that it has been 6 months on my own, away from AH soon to be XAH. Getting the divorce, dealing with the IRS,looking for work has been a real challenge to me.My es sis in law has taken the job i had of "having the wool pulled over your eyes enabler" as far as XAH. I havnt seen or spoken t...	YARNCRAZY	3	441	Jun 20, 2016 by missmeliss
	Emotionally immature (Preview) i found this great old blog and it explained so well what someone being emotionally immature was all about. It is said A's are as mature as when they started drinking. i get that my xah drank hard from 12-24 he was a binger. He seemed okay on the surface and seemed fairly well emotionally centered except...	Mirandac	9	685	Jun 20, 2016 by Mirandac
	Did this ever open my eyes. (Preview) I am not only in-love with an alcoholic. I have found out he is a narcissist, porn addict and pathological liar. Why such a combination of things? Talk about a walking mess, including me. I have finally left this time without crying. I am cried out. Long story short: I left him the last time and took every...	Tampa	11	2074	Jun 20, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Hello, happy father's day (Preview) Hello! I've been absent from the Board for a few weeks but I've been working on my program. I am learning that growth takes time. Today I had an unexpected opportunity to see where I'm at.... my MIL found out today that my qualifier drinks. He ended up in the ER after passing out. I am not at home now so his mo...	Fedora	4	406	Jun 20, 2016 by Jerry F
	Feeling crappy today (Preview) I just have such overwhelming anxiety today and feeling like such a bad mom. Over the weekend I was completely short with my kids as I was overwhelmed and tired. AH hurt his shoulder so he wasn't much help with the kids and called me out on being short with them last night. I took it so personal even tho...	Jazzie18	2	266	Jun 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	It's a new week :) (Preview) Reading through so many of these posts I see so much pain and hurt but also a lot of hope and insight. Words that are spoken here are so true, connect with people on so many levels and it's a great place to come to when needing to connect again with the steps and others walking a similar path. I also hear so m...	Crau	2	382	Jun 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change Reading 6-19-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 19 speaks about being troubled by others behaviors or disappointing turn of events. The reading points out that we don't have to take others actions as personal. We are not have to be a victim of everything that happens unless we choose to see the world that way. If things do not...	hotrod	5	443	Jun 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	Why am I the nut lol (Preview) Why am I the nut lol? My AH is loved with lots of friends. And i.m lonely. I don.T want to be the crazy one. But I guess it.s all the years of living with an alcoholic. I.ve been reading the alanon book. And it.s so me. I.ve went to one meeting. And am going to keep going. I want friends and a social.li...	Minniegirl	5	570	Jun 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	My Dad in a nutshell (Preview) I miss him especially today. He was my hero in the end. He made me laugh & even made me cry. He was the saver of my sanity. He knew what I needed even hugs. He dropped everything to visit me in the hospital when no one else would. He smiled & his face lighted up. He wasn't always there but he made sure th...	Hoot Nanny	2	438	Jun 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	Letting go of relationships/friendships (Preview) Hi all! Just wanted to share and see if anyone has experienced what I am going through... I am currently in a phase of recovery where I am letting go of relationships/friendships that are all with alcoholics/ACoA/Codependents. It took me almost 3 years in recovery to finally come out of denial and tru...	Sandy408	7	522	Jun 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	When life is not what you dreamed it would be (Preview) Yesterday was our 39th Wedding Anniversary. No presents, no "happy anniversary", yes a lunch out but it really could have been any other day of the year. The only mention in relation to our Wedding Day was about the difference in weather! I think I'm finally accepting that life is nothing like I want...	cmw2429	6	531	Jun 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	I'm new & Struggling! (Preview) Hi, I'm new to the site and could use some advice & wanted to see if anyone else has been in the same or similar situation and what your outcome was. After 17.5 years of marriage, my AH & I are in the middle of a divorce. He has been an alcoholic/addict our entire marriage with the addictions spira...	ThreeCmom	10	527	Jun 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	Its 7 pm Sunday but no one is in Meeting Room (Preview) Is there no meeting tonight?	lgnutah	2	426	Jun 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	Some updates and my current mood (Preview) I've got a few updates and I want to talk about what's going on currently. I enjoy being able to use this platform to sort of chronicle my progress and set backs. Today was the last day of school for my son. He is eight and just finished the second grade. These transitions are really hard for me. Adjusting t...	StargazerLily	4	464	Jun 19, 2016 by Mattie
	Saying no,boundaries and taking up for self (Preview) These 3 things irritate me cause I feel that I can't work them or make them work for me,I have a hard time saying no,and setting boundaries or standing my ground these are all aimed at my abf was xabf,we have been getting along great he has slaved himself my yard ,got it looking beautiful,I feel like I'm l...	lookingup	1	311	Jun 19, 2016 by Tampa
	Dry drunk behaviors? H "testing" me. (Preview) Hi all, it's been a long time. My AH has been dry for over 2 years. He did not do any recovery work. Things are certainly much calmer. He is nicer for the most part. No late night crazy drunk shenanigans. However, I am dealing with a lot of what I call "tests" in my mind from him and I am not sure if I am han...	gingerfizz	11	4030	Jun 19, 2016 by Tampa
	I love watching and being a part of Miracles (Preview) and this morning I participated in another as I went to my AA home group..."By the Bay". I left our van to walk over to the cabana where we hold the group and recognized the station wagon we were next to...God!! Both RJ and his MOM clean and sober and the last time I saw her she could not even stand up much...	Jerry F	5	474	Jun 19, 2016 by hotrod
	I think I'm dating a double winner (Preview) Hi all, I've mentioned my friend that I've been spending time with. I guess we are dating but it's more like 'hanging out' together. Not only does he drink straight whiskey on the rocks, he is also wierdly enmeshed with his sister and other family members. He is one of 9 siblings. He is very close wi...	CyndiODAT	7	565	Jun 18, 2016 by Mattie
	Al-Anon works (Preview) This program is a miracle. Since my last post much has changed. The ABF stopped drinking. It was a terrible withdrawal-shaking, sweating, anxiety, sleeplessness, restlessness for 3 days straight. Its now been a month and he remains sober. He found beer and vodka, coolers in the house that I had hid a...	joker	5	405	Jun 18, 2016 by Jerry F
	Courage to Change Reading 6-18-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 18 speaks about what we often feel when we first enter program. Many of us are filled with anger and resentment because it appears other people's live are perfect and we envy what we think they have. The reading goes on to state that in time, after working the program...	hotrod	3	399	Jun 18, 2016 by Iamhere
	Spitting Nails... (Preview) I know that I shouldn't be angry about this, and usually when I feel angry it is because I am angry at myself but. Our relationship counsellor's response to my comment that I seemed to have had the emotional systems of PTSD was that my parents had problems and as a child I felt helpless. No mention of what...	milkwood	9	2893	Jun 18, 2016 by Iamhere
	I'm new and need help (Preview) Im here because I need help dealing with my life. I haven't been to a meeting and think it would help so I need to get the courage to go. I've been married for 13 years. When we first met, my husband drank all night in the basement with his friend. He then slowed down for a while. He was going out once ever...	Jennie72	11	540	Jun 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	He's finally sobe in AA and everything is going well for him. Why am I still so miserable? (Preview) Hi, I found this in the "How Al-Anon Works" book. I feel so selfish feeling jealous over the time he spends between mettings and phone calls. And here's another dysfunction feeling I have, I feel worried he will meet an AA woman who has AA in common with him. I know he loves me and is the most dedicated man,...	createive	2	441	Jun 17, 2016 by hotrod
	How to stay detached with love (Preview) When things with my AH are not going well I am very good at detaching and that has been a wonderful gift of this program because he can be in any kind of mood and I am able to get on with my own life. I can do the things I need to do for myself. But my AH doesn't drink every day and goes through periods of not drin...	KT2015	4	602	Jun 17, 2016 by kalorrah
	Courage to Change (C2C) 6/17/2016 (Preview) Today's reading talks about the basics of our program of recovery. We are helped by the program in times when we could not or can not do it on our own. We learn to lean on a Higher Power, live one day at a time and with faith and support, we find we can live and even grow through difficult times. Most of us fi...	Iamhere	2	380	Jun 17, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Dealing with a binge drinker (Preview) Hi, I am new to this board and I started Al-Anon and therapy after I realized that my life has hit a physical and mental low dealing with a binge drinking alcoholic family member all of my life. Everytime he's not in a drinking phase everything seems fine and I keep feeling that I don't need to go to Al-an...	Sarahcolorado	12	10298	Jun 17, 2016 by a4l
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.