Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for July 18 speaks about our feelings and life prior to arriving at the doors of Al-Anon. It is then that many may have believed that if something works, it will work even better and faster, if we try harder. Al-Anon involves a long-term process of growth and change and our efforts...

Anastasia · Anastasia

My husband relapsed after almost 8 years of sobriety. He picked up again 18 months ago. We moved home and country 4 years ago (escaped to the country - a joint dream for our family). He took up work as a long distance lorry driver, away from home all week, living alone in his cab. While I kept the self suffic...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Great page today that calls on me to remember what AlAnon is for: focus on myself. A tendency to label the behavior of someone with the disease as immature, inconsiderate, etc. may be accurate from a behavioral standpoint, but does not help, and actually harms, both of us. Labeling others admittedl...

Kcsnooze · Kcsnooze

I attend a couple of different local Al-anon meetings. Each one is very different in format and group culture. But it seems like a lot of the people know one another really well. I keep hearing that getting a sponsor is important as you work through your steps. But I am a bit unsure of how to go about choos...

Sallygcoe · Sallygcoe

can anyone enlighten me on the success of buprenorphine treatment to help get off opiates. And do theses treatment centers usually incorporate 12 step work? Please help so I can be more informed.

serenity47 · serenity47

I thought I would post an update as have not posted for quite a while. It has been about 8 months since AD entered into a program of recovery. She is doing very well. Seems to have really embraced the 12 step program. She attends meetings, has a sponsor, has returned to school and generally is carving...

gabigail · gabigail

I have lost all serenity right now and I know my life is out of control. Luckily with my spouse admitting the addiction, I have people coming out of the woodwork to help me. I just desperately need time to get back to a f2f mtg. My AS has been in and out of the hospital. Although Ive completely detached with l...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for July 17 speaks about being enmeshed with other people's activities and behavior. When we do this, we lose sight of the idea that we could be happy even if others are depressed or unhappy. When we finally realize that we will have to learn to make it even if the alcoholic does not, th...

Tinyhouse · Tinyhouse

this is my first time here and I've only been to one alanon meeting so please forgive if this isn't appropriate. I don't have a support system since I've separated myself from family and friends because of shame over my husbands drinking. Ive been married 20 years to an addict. Pills, drugs, now alcoho...

KT2015 · KT2015

This evening my AH had more than one too many and was behaving erratically and I guess the best way to describe it was he was acting out. This has happened once every year or so he drinks way more than his usual too much and acts in very bizarre ways and it's almost as if he is completely gone. It's like the...

GoingNuts · GoingNuts

My husband has been sober for 4 months and he has done it all on his own. He was actively drinking for over 25 years! Aside from going through basic training, he would consume between 18-24 beers daily. So, now he is sober and I don't even know who he is! We have been married for 25 years. I have always known h...

Mattie · Mattie

My son and I are staying at a summer house we have. Last year we had a group of guests stay for a week and one of them brought a bottle of bourbon. I guess somebody had some, though I didn't keep track, because it was missing about two inches after they all left. I hardly drink at all and never drink bourbon,...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for July 16 talks about learning how to relax while using the Al-Anon program. It goes on to suggests that, before program our lives were spent in the frenzy of activity such as : work projects and family obligations. These all helped us to focus outward and in that way we didn't hav...

wp · wp

Today I need to remember that gratitude is one of our best tools. When feelings and personalities and illnesses seem too much, when I stop and get quiet and reflect on all that I can be grateful for, life is better and I can breathe. At least for now. TY alanon. wp

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Almost 7 months on my own out here in the big world.Things have been interesting away from the marriage of 25 yrs. I filed for divorce and it should be final in dec. XAH is out of rehab and I just recently spoke to him. I dont know if he is sober but he cries alot on the phone. I detach and try to stick to taking c...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about how each of us as individuals uses this program. We each move at a pace that works for us, and practice the principles as best we can. This is why our program works so well - we try as best we can to grow and change what we can, and allow others the same grace and dignity. We don'...

jocelgp · jocelgp

We live with my 83 year old mother, in her house. My husband and I have no kids, and we've been married for 20 years. I have made several posts in this group so I'll not give much background anymore With Al-anon literatures and this group's help I am able to live each day One Day At A Time, found some seren...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

Hi! I just realized that it has been four months since I last posted. I have so much to be thankful for! Life is good! I've been dating a guy that I met online six months ago and he is so wonderful and supportive. I can't believe how my life has changed since five years ago when I thought that I was at the lowest...

Steph12345 · Steph12345

I'm trying to detach with love but I feel like I'm being such a b***. I'm not even talking to him unless it's about logistics so I'm detached but how do I do it with love? Am I supposed to make him feel loved or just wish him love in my mind? I'm so angry because he rages at me and my kids and has a Jekklyl Hyde thin...

Bghchelsea · Bghchelsea

Here is my story: for as long as I can remember, my mother has been an alcoholic and pill abuser. And all throughout my childhood, teenage years and now into my mid 20's, I have been her number one enabler. I clean up her messes, I've paid her rent and bills in the past, bought her alcohol so she will shut up o...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Hey folks! I had to quit another board I was on cuz it was literally bought out by the treatment center I work at and the large addiction social media site with message boards (which I liked and hated at the same time) is continuing to move closer and closer to my job as in me having to interact with the owner...

jocelgp · jocelgp

Hi everyone (((hugs))) It's been quite a while since I last posted. Things are a little bit better these days in the sense that my AH has not been drinking much. There were some days when he had some beer but not as much and didn't stayed as late as before. But, his behavior is pretty much the same. Ther...

funandsun · funandsun

I really need someone to SMH! ABF has started drinking again after being sober for awhile, so obviously I do not trust him to tell me the truth. I know this is not helpful to my sanity but I tend to read his text messages to see what he is up to. Why can I not get it thru my head that it only causes me more grief? I...

vonvon · vonvon

My son has had schizoaffective disorder for 12 years and has self medicated with alcohol on and off though he was sober for the past 4 years. He started drinking again which is really dangerous with the psychiatric meds he's on. Whether he's drinking or not, I'm always on pins and needles but it's parti...

madowl86 · madowl86

First post here. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. We moved in together quickly and it took me almost a year to realize he has a real binge drinking problem. He loves to drink (he thinks it makes everything more fun) and incorporated it into almost anything. Last June he got drunk and I f...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I know I haven't been here much, I started a job 3 months ago and haven't been able to keep up with life. My kids come back and forth a week with their dad and a week with me for the Summer months, because we live 2 1/2 hours away then during the school year with me full time. My boyfriends kids are 50/50 so half...

TM · TM

Hello. I am new. My husband was 8 months sober. He started again 3 months ago. It's excessive 2-3 times a week. That is when be gets emotionally abusive. We were separated for 5 months the beginning of 2015. I go to AL Anon meetings when I can. I just can't tolerate the emotional abuse any longer. Does anyo...

andromeda · andromeda

Today is one of those days when I just don't have all the answers for my son. His learning disabilities confound me and I am struggling to find the right 'next step' to take for him when it comes to getting him the help he needs to finish his senior year. Trying my best to not beat myself up over the past and...

likemyheart · likemyheart

So, after my five year relationship hiatus spoken of in an earlier post, I am finally enjoying the company of a member of the opposite gender (ok an aside here, I dislike the term opposite sex when what is meant is opposite gender, pet peeves are funny things eh?). He's a really nice family man with a good...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Hello my Friends!! I am finally home from the long trip along the Italian Riviera (and everywhere else it seems...lol). Our trip was amazing!! I had no idea how to even picture the sights in my mind befor the trip and honestly did t think cruising would be for me personally. I was wrong again...lol S...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses the burden of guilt and amends making. Many of us carry guilt most of the time. Doing the steps, and making amends helps to release us from our guilt and allows us to put the past in it's place - behind us. As we move forward in the program, most of us find that our self-esteem g...

hotrod · hotrod

I posted the wrong date on the reading for today -- Sorry Today's reading in the C2C reading for July 13 talks about our thoughts and actions prior to entering Al-Anon.. It points out that we have wasted many days of our lives as well as years, by being preoccupied. with the activities of the alcohol...

Lyne · Lyne

I was thinking this morning that at times I feel guilty that I no longer have romantic feelings for my A, and respect has diminished in many areas. My A's behavior clogs my brain. I try to practice all my tools, slogans, 3 C's, ODAT, etc. My A's behavior is very sick and sad. I wish I had the feelings I us...

yoda · yoda

New to this forum, I am. Introduce myself, I must. 43 years old, am I - 25 years, have I been in Al-Anon and around AA. Music (saxophone, guitar and piano, I play) and reading (ie: Don Miguel Ruiz, Joel Goldsmith, Eckhart Tolle & 12 step literature), I certainly enjoy. Fabulous people in this prog...

lisad67 · lisad67

Its been since November since Ive posted. I am in a relationship with an alcoholic. He is destructive to himself when life gets tough. He drinks and gets completely out of control. I thought he was making steps toward change but he was only hiding it really well from me. He is not hiding it anymore....

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for July 12 speaks about the Fifth Tradition. This is the tradition which outlines Al-Anon's purpose and identifies how we go about doing it. In this Tradition,it is suggested that we encourage and understand our alcoholic relatives. The reading tries to make it clear that we can foc...

CyndiODAT · CyndiODAT

Hi friends, What are your tools, tips and tricks for turning around negative thought patterns. I know 'people like us' are so strongly 'programmed' with thoughts and beliefs that are mostly 99% FALSE - but are so strongly ingrained in our subsconscious minds, it seems impossible to keep those tape...

slvp55 · slvp55

I'm just wondering, because I am a grateful recovering member of both programs, married to a sober dry drunk who is a hoarder. I have to work both programs because I know that if I don't use Alanon, I have to really really work AA. Living with a dry drunk can be just as crazy making as living with a practic...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about the power that fear can have in our lives. it is pointed out that fear is often behind our need for control, or our belief that if we can establish control, our fear will be assuaged. When I read this it reminded me of what I think of as my 'reaching bottom'. ...

oneatatime · oneatatime

My husband asked me to write an affect or impact letter to place in a sealed envelope for him to read at group the middle of this week. I am looking for opinions as to if it sounds to harsh and angry. I don't want him to shut down while reading it but I am tired of being afraid and treating him with kid gloves...

sassy12 · sassy12

Hi This is the first time for me entering anything related to Alcohol. I have drank on and off socially. This last year I had maybe 6 drinks total. Two years ago I reconnected with a man i knew from elementary school . I heard from him after 30 years. We have since fallen in love and had made plans for him t...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c talks about anger, and appropriate ways to deal with it. Many of us have very poor tools for managing anger when we arrive at al-anon; stuffing our feelings, denying they exist, storming off in a huff, exploding, etc. The reading suggests chanelling anger into less destructive (or const...

Jerry F · Jerry F

w happy, amused, tired and hopeful. God the trip to Central Valley turned out to be the true God shot from start to stop and while I intended not to go HP diminished all of my justifications and then I said okay. It turned out to be the best okay I have made is such a long long time right up until I opened my...

el-cee · el-cee

This lovely day. Beautiful sunshine. A healthy family just for today. Tools of this amazing program that can help me be the person I want to be. A person I can be proud of. Being able to have a healthy attitude, a positive outlook on life, taking it on life's terms in all its glory. Having a much more open he...

Sisu14 · Sisu14

Hello, my Al-Anon family,I will try to keep this brief. I need to leave my boyfriend of seven years, and it is killing me. I truly just need the perspective of outsiders who do not know me for guidance.He has been an alcoholic since (long before) day one of our relationship, and for two years it was a vicio...

CyndiODAT · CyndiODAT

HI everyone, In my ongoing effort to 'take care of Cyndi' in relationships, I made the hard decision to let go of the guy friend I have been seeing 'casually' over the last 10 weeks. I was starting to develop some feelings and I know he is not 'ready' to explore anything in terms of a relationship. I knew...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for July 10 speaks about what it is like to live with the disease of alcoholism. It points out that we lose perspective on whom we are and what we can and cannot do. It suggests that we unknowingly accept ideas about our own limitations that have no basis in reality. Al-Anon encourages...

LinSC · LinSC

I'm an Alanon member, ACOA, and border on co-dependent type.... Ive been invited to a garden party, a day on a lake! Something keeps running through my head, self talk, or programming...that I don't deserve to have fun! Where on earth did that come from? It's a very subtle voice, but it's always there,...

rogeydog · rogeydog

I am struggling with my husband and my boundaries and detaching with love. We have been on the rollercoaster for a few years, especially this past year. His last slip was about 3 months ago, which has been the pattern, 3 months sober, gets too confident then slips. Well we are there again. His last sl...

Javanica · Javanica

We Need to have willingness or determination to change to move forward to progress!

frogswim · frogswim

Hi all, I am mother of 2 girls and separated from my spouse since for 10 months. He has continued to spiral out of control. I am trying,one more time, in a last attempt, to send him to rehab. He has had 5 DUI's and the last two in the past 3 months. I am going to tell him via email he can't visit our girls unless...

el-cee · el-cee

I'm spending a lot of time with a person I love. We're on holiday together. I love this person but this intensity is getting to me a bit. She's set in her ways and im trying to practice live and let live. She's negative. A really bleak outlook on life most of the time. I feel like I've got two options. My outlo...

Mare33 · Mare33

This is my first time on anything like this board, so please bare with me. I don't know how I found my way here, but here I am. Maybe God sent this forum my way for a reason. So here goes... Last September, I met a man whom I considered to be the man of my dreams. He was wonderful to me and treated me like a queen. H...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for July 9 about life being a package deal. We cannot simply choose the parcel we would like and avoid the rest . I know I tried to do this and thought that it was possible how disappointed I was as I did not succeed!!! The reading points out that living life by our own rules many of us adapt...

Kellygirl12 · Kellygirl12

I need some solid alanon advice. I was evicted from my apartment back in 2010 during the recession. I lost my job and couldn't find another one. My dad married a woman that doesn't like me so I wasn't allowed to move in with him. My mother left me with my dad when I was 14 so he was my only parent. A friend of my d...

Kellygirl12 · Kellygirl12

All of my coworkers are on Facebook and want me to join Facebook and friend them. I tell them I want my privacy and don't want to join. Also they keep asking me where I live and I tell them the town but they want to know exactly where I live. My one coworker dropped me off one day and I think she is telling other...

El · El

-- Editing Post -- So, I really am trying to not immediately take on the blame for people's moods and behaviors but it is my instinctual reaction. Yesterday I saw my next door neighbor and he is normally very talkative and usually runs over when he sees me. I had to say hi first and he glumly said hi and tha...

Steve · Steve

Hi Everyone, I've come across a number of posts pertaining to the alcoholic's cheating behavior, but have yet to see anything related to the partner's sexual transgressions. As my alcoholic wife's disease progressed, I became increasingly disgusted with her and her disease. As a result of her di...

Mcat54 · Mcat54

Hi, this is my first post. Working on living in the moment, doing the next right thing. Letting my HP guide me. I married my qualifier almost six years ago, aware of his drug and grass habits. A few months ago, I returned to al-anon as I was driving myself crazy with resentment and focusing too much on him....

KennyFenderjazz · KennyFenderjazz

Have a safe trip back to the wetlands! Maybe you will metamorphose there into JerryF! Kenny

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Courage to Change reading 7-18-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 18 speaks about our feelings and life prior to arriving at the doors of Al-Anon. It is then that many may have believed that if something works, it will work even better and faster, if we try harder. Al-Anon involves a long-term process of growth and change and our efforts...	hotrod	1	789	Jul 18, 2016 by Iamhere
	Husband relapsed after 8 years of sobriety (Preview) My husband relapsed after almost 8 years of sobriety. He picked up again 18 months ago. We moved home and country 4 years ago (escaped to the country - a joint dream for our family). He took up work as a long distance lorry driver, away from home all week, living alone in his cab. While I kept the self suffic...	Anastasia	10	758	Jul 18, 2016 by Iamhere
	ODAT 7-16 Labeling the Behavior of Others (Preview) Great page today that calls on me to remember what AlAnon is for: focus on myself. A tendency to label the behavior of someone with the disease as immature, inconsiderate, etc. may be accurate from a behavioral standpoint, but does not help, and actually harms, both of us. Labeling others admittedl...	Enigmatic	4	667	Jul 18, 2016 by Enigmatic
	How did you go about selecting a sponsor? (Preview) I attend a couple of different local Al-anon meetings. Each one is very different in format and group culture. But it seems like a lot of the people know one another really well. I keep hearing that getting a sponsor is important as you work through your steps. But I am a bit unsure of how to go about choos...	Kcsnooze	4	538	Jul 18, 2016 by Jerry F
	Question about opiate addiction (Preview) can anyone enlighten me on the success of buprenorphine treatment to help get off opiates. And do theses treatment centers usually incorporate 12 step work? Please help so I can be more informed.	Sallygcoe	2	464	Jul 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	Recovery\sobriety\Hope (Preview) I thought I would post an update as have not posted for quite a while. It has been about 8 months since AD entered into a program of recovery. She is doing very well. Seems to have really embraced the 12 step program. She attends meetings, has a sponsor, has returned to school and generally is carving...	serenity47	3	533	Jul 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	I really need to vent (Preview) I have lost all serenity right now and I know my life is out of control. Luckily with my spouse admitting the addiction, I have people coming out of the woodwork to help me. I just desperately need time to get back to a f2f mtg. My AS has been in and out of the hospital. Although Ive completely detached with l...	gabigail	7	695	Jul 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change reading 7-17-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 17 speaks about being enmeshed with other people's activities and behavior. When we do this, we lose sight of the idea that we could be happy even if others are depressed or unhappy. When we finally realize that we will have to learn to make it even if the alcoholic does not, th...	hotrod	2	643	Jul 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	Am I doing this wrong? (Preview) this is my first time here and I've only been to one alanon meeting so please forgive if this isn't appropriate. I don't have a support system since I've separated myself from family and friends because of shame over my husbands drinking. Ive been married 20 years to an addict. Pills, drugs, now alcoho...	Tinyhouse	9	758	Jul 17, 2016 by tiredtonite
	Feeling very lonely tonight need to get it out (Preview) This evening my AH had more than one too many and was behaving erratically and I guess the best way to describe it was he was acting out. This has happened once every year or so he drinks way more than his usual too much and acts in very bizarre ways and it's almost as if he is completely gone. It's like the...	KT2015	14	739	Jul 17, 2016 by el-cee
	I don't wanna play. (Preview) My husband has been sober for 4 months and he has done it all on his own. He was actively drinking for over 25 years! Aside from going through basic training, he would consume between 18-24 beers daily. So, now he is sober and I don't even know who he is! We have been married for 25 years. I have always known h...	GoingNuts	14	692	Jul 17, 2016 by Jerry F
	Worrying issue (Preview) My son and I are staying at a summer house we have. Last year we had a group of guests stay for a week and one of them brought a bottle of bourbon. I guess somebody had some, though I didn't keep track, because it was missing about two inches after they all left. I hardly drink at all and never drink bourbon,...	Mattie	10	1001	Jul 16, 2016 by Mattie
	Courage to Change Reading 7-16-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 16 talks about learning how to relax while using the Al-Anon program. It goes on to suggests that, before program our lives were spent in the frenzy of activity such as : work projects and family obligations. These all helped us to focus outward and in that way we didn't hav...	hotrod	2	517	Jul 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	Gratitude and me (Preview) Today I need to remember that gratitude is one of our best tools. When feelings and personalities and illnesses seem too much, when I stop and get quiet and reflect on all that I can be grateful for, life is better and I can breathe. At least for now. TY alanon. wp	wp	2	508	Jul 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	Update on Me (Preview) Almost 7 months on my own out here in the big world.Things have been interesting away from the marriage of 25 yrs. I filed for divorce and it should be final in dec. XAH is out of rehab and I just recently spoke to him. I dont know if he is sober but he cries alot on the phone. I detach and try to stick to taking c...	YARNCRAZY	4	573	Jul 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 7/15/16 (Preview) Today's reading talks about how each of us as individuals uses this program. We each move at a pace that works for us, and practice the principles as best we can. This is why our program works so well - we try as best we can to grow and change what we can, and allow others the same grace and dignity. We don'...	Iamhere	3	490	Jul 16, 2016 by Enigmatic
	just when i'm learning to detach?, my mother would always ask me about my AH's behavior (Preview) We live with my 83 year old mother, in her house. My husband and I have no kids, and we've been married for 20 years. I have made several posts in this group so I'll not give much background anymore With Al-anon literatures and this group's help I am able to live each day One Day At A Time, found some seren...	jocelgp	6	693	Jul 15, 2016 by jocelgp
	Checking In (Preview) Hi! I just realized that it has been four months since I last posted. I have so much to be thankful for! Life is good! I've been dating a guy that I met online six months ago and he is so wonderful and supportive. I can't believe how my life has changed since five years ago when I thought that I was at the lowest...	Green Eyes	7	619	Jul 15, 2016 by Green Eyes
	Got the detachment part down but too angry for the love part! (Preview) I'm trying to detach with love but I feel like I'm being such a b***. I'm not even talking to him unless it's about logistics so I'm detached but how do I do it with love? Am I supposed to make him feel loved or just wish him love in my mind? I'm so angry because he rages at me and my kids and has a Jekklyl Hyde thin...	Steph12345	11	743	Jul 15, 2016 by Jazzie18
	In desperate need of advise ASAP (Preview) Here is my story: for as long as I can remember, my mother has been an alcoholic and pill abuser. And all throughout my childhood, teenage years and now into my mid 20's, I have been her number one enabler. I clean up her messes, I've paid her rent and bills in the past, bought her alcohol so she will shut up o...	Bghchelsea	9	622	Jul 15, 2016 by Mattie
	Happy to be back here more. (Preview) Hey folks! I had to quit another board I was on cuz it was literally bought out by the treatment center I work at and the large addiction social media site with message boards (which I liked and hated at the same time) is continuing to move closer and closer to my job as in me having to interact with the owner...	pinkchip	9	576	Jul 15, 2016 by Breakingfree
	morning feelings (Preview) Hi everyone (((hugs))) It's been quite a while since I last posted. Things are a little bit better these days in the sense that my AH has not been drinking much. There were some days when he had some beer but not as much and didn't stayed as late as before. But, his behavior is pretty much the same. Ther...	jocelgp	7	895	Jul 15, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Checking ABF text messages (Preview) I really need someone to SMH! ABF has started drinking again after being sober for awhile, so obviously I do not trust him to tell me the truth. I know this is not helpful to my sanity but I tend to read his text messages to see what he is up to. Why can I not get it thru my head that it only causes me more grief? I...	funandsun	7	712	Jul 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	Dual Diagnosis - mental health issues and alcohol (Preview) My son has had schizoaffective disorder for 12 years and has self medicated with alcohol on and off though he was sober for the past 4 years. He started drinking again which is really dangerous with the psychiatric meds he's on. Whether he's drinking or not, I'm always on pins and needles but it's parti...	vonvon	5	675	Jul 15, 2016 by vonvon
	I suspect my boyfriend is secretly drinking (Preview) First post here. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. We moved in together quickly and it took me almost a year to realize he has a real binge drinking problem. He loves to drink (he thinks it makes everything more fun) and incorporated it into almost anything. Last June he got drunk and I f...	madowl86	7	830	Jul 14, 2016 by Maresie
	Moved 3 weeks ago into the blended family scenario and it's hard....... (Preview) I know I haven't been here much, I started a job 3 months ago and haven't been able to keep up with life. My kids come back and forth a week with their dad and a week with me for the Summer months, because we live 2 1/2 hours away then during the school year with me full time. My boyfriends kids are 50/50 so half...	Breakingfree	6	528	Jul 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	binge drinking again (Preview) Hello. I am new. My husband was 8 months sober. He started again 3 months ago. It's excessive 2-3 times a week. That is when be gets emotionally abusive. We were separated for 5 months the beginning of 2015. I go to AL Anon meetings when I can. I just can't tolerate the emotional abuse any longer. Does anyo...	TM	14	632	Jul 14, 2016 by Jerry F
	Prayers needed (Preview) Today is one of those days when I just don't have all the answers for my son. His learning disabilities confound me and I am struggling to find the right 'next step' to take for him when it comes to getting him the help he needs to finish his senior year. Trying my best to not beat myself up over the past and...	andromeda	20	993	Jul 14, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Focusing on the right thing (Preview) So, after my five year relationship hiatus spoken of in an earlier post, I am finally enjoying the company of a member of the opposite gender (ok an aside here, I dislike the term opposite sex when what is meant is opposite gender, pet peeves are funny things eh?). He's a really nice family man with a good...	likemyheart	4	627	Jul 14, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Finally Home!! (Preview) Hello my Friends!! I am finally home from the long trip along the Italian Riviera (and everywhere else it seems...lol). Our trip was amazing!! I had no idea how to even picture the sights in my mind befor the trip and honestly did t think cruising would be for me personally. I was wrong again...lol S...	Doingmybest	3	536	Jul 14, 2016 by Mirandac
	Courage to Change (C2C) 7/14/16 (Preview) Today's reading discusses the burden of guilt and amends making. Many of us carry guilt most of the time. Doing the steps, and making amends helps to release us from our guilt and allows us to put the past in it's place - behind us. As we move forward in the program, most of us find that our self-esteem g...	Iamhere	1	459	Jul 14, 2016 by hotrod
	C2C reading for 7-13-2016 (Preview) I posted the wrong date on the reading for today -- Sorry Today's reading in the C2C reading for July 13 talks about our thoughts and actions prior to entering Al-Anon.. It points out that we have wasted many days of our lives as well as years, by being preoccupied. with the activities of the alcohol...	hotrod	3	478	Jul 14, 2016 by lookingup
	Living with my A (Preview) I was thinking this morning that at times I feel guilty that I no longer have romantic feelings for my A, and respect has diminished in many areas. My A's behavior clogs my brain. I try to practice all my tools, slogans, 3 C's, ODAT, etc. My A's behavior is very sick and sad. I wish I had the feelings I us...	Lyne	5	727	Jul 14, 2016 by el-cee
	Introduction (Preview) New to this forum, I am. Introduce myself, I must. 43 years old, am I - 25 years, have I been in Al-Anon and around AA. Music (saxophone, guitar and piano, I play) and reading (ie: Don Miguel Ruiz, Joel Goldsmith, Eckhart Tolle & 12 step literature), I certainly enjoy. Fabulous people in this prog...	yoda	2	496	Jul 13, 2016 by LinSC
	feeling desperate and just defeated (Preview) Its been since November since Ive posted. I am in a relationship with an alcoholic. He is destructive to himself when life gets tough. He drinks and gets completely out of control. I thought he was making steps toward change but he was only hiding it really well from me. He is not hiding it anymore....	lisad67	16	726	Jul 13, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	Courage to Change reading 7-12-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 12 speaks about the Fifth Tradition. This is the tradition which outlines Al-Anon's purpose and identifies how we go about doing it. In this Tradition,it is suggested that we encourage and understand our alcoholic relatives. The reading tries to make it clear that we can foc...	hotrod	5	629	Jul 13, 2016 by hotrod
	Stinkin' Thinkin' (Preview) Hi friends, What are your tools, tips and tricks for turning around negative thought patterns. I know 'people like us' are so strongly 'programmed' with thoughts and beliefs that are mostly 99% FALSE - but are so strongly ingrained in our subsconscious minds, it seems impossible to keep those tape...	CyndiODAT	19	1069	Jul 12, 2016 by Maresie
	How many of us are both AA & Alanon? (Preview) I'm just wondering, because I am a grateful recovering member of both programs, married to a sober dry drunk who is a hoarder. I have to work both programs because I know that if I don't use Alanon, I have to really really work AA. Living with a dry drunk can be just as crazy making as living with a practic...	slvp55	7	807	Jul 12, 2016 by Jerry F
	Hope for Today July 12 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about the power that fear can have in our lives. it is pointed out that fear is often behind our need for control, or our belief that if we can establish control, our fear will be assuaged. When I read this it reminded me of what I think of as my 'reaching bottom'. ...	yanksfan51	3	539	Jul 12, 2016 by lookingup
	impact letter to my husband (Preview) My husband asked me to write an affect or impact letter to place in a sealed envelope for him to read at group the middle of this week. I am looking for opinions as to if it sounds to harsh and angry. I don't want him to shut down while reading it but I am tired of being afraid and treating him with kid gloves...	oneatatime	8	10475	Jul 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	New and my boyfriend is in AA (Preview) Hi This is the first time for me entering anything related to Alcohol. I have drank on and off socially. This last year I had maybe 6 drinks total. Two years ago I reconnected with a man i knew from elementary school . I heard from him after 30 years. We have since fallen in love and had made plans for him t...	sassy12	4	668	Jul 11, 2016 by Maresie
	Courage to change 11/7 (Preview) Today's c2c talks about anger, and appropriate ways to deal with it. Many of us have very poor tools for managing anger when we arrive at al-anon; stuffing our feelings, denying they exist, storming off in a huff, exploding, etc. The reading suggests chanelling anger into less destructive (or const...	missmeliss	2	530	Jul 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	Back home... (Preview) w happy, amused, tired and hopeful. God the trip to Central Valley turned out to be the true God shot from start to stop and while I intended not to go HP diminished all of my justifications and then I said okay. It turned out to be the best okay I have made is such a long long time right up until I opened my...	Jerry F	5	541	Jul 10, 2016 by KT2015
	Grateful for.... (Preview) This lovely day. Beautiful sunshine. A healthy family just for today. Tools of this amazing program that can help me be the person I want to be. A person I can be proud of. Being able to have a healthy attitude, a positive outlook on life, taking it on life's terms in all its glory. Having a much more open he...	el-cee	5	605	Jul 10, 2016 by Iamhere
	Desperate for perspective with a difficult decision (Preview) Hello, my Al-Anon family,I will try to keep this brief. I need to leave my boyfriend of seven years, and it is killing me. I truly just need the perspective of outsiders who do not know me for guidance.He has been an alcoholic since (long before) day one of our relationship, and for two years it was a vicio...	Sisu14	6	770	Jul 10, 2016 by Iamhere
	Progress for me :-) (Preview) HI everyone, In my ongoing effort to 'take care of Cyndi' in relationships, I made the hard decision to let go of the guy friend I have been seeing 'casually' over the last 10 weeks. I was starting to develop some feelings and I know he is not 'ready' to explore anything in terms of a relationship. I knew...	CyndiODAT	6	836	Jul 10, 2016 by Maresie
	Courage to Change Reading 7-10-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 10 speaks about what it is like to live with the disease of alcoholism. It points out that we lose perspective on whom we are and what we can and cannot do. It suggests that we unknowingly accept ideas about our own limitations that have no basis in reality. Al-Anon encourages...	hotrod	2	753	Jul 10, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Fun is out of my comfort zone! (Preview) I'm an Alanon member, ACOA, and border on co-dependent type.... Ive been invited to a garden party, a day on a lake! Something keeps running through my head, self talk, or programming...that I don't deserve to have fun! Where on earth did that come from? It's a very subtle voice, but it's always there,...	LinSC	12	779	Jul 10, 2016 by Iamhere
	Detaching with love and keeping boundaries (Preview) I am struggling with my husband and my boundaries and detaching with love. We have been on the rollercoaster for a few years, especially this past year. His last slip was about 3 months ago, which has been the pattern, 3 months sober, gets too confident then slips. Well we are there again. His last sl...	rogeydog	11	1077	Jul 10, 2016 by Maresie
	Determination (Preview) We Need to have willingness or determination to change to move forward to progress!	Javanica	3	572	Jul 9, 2016 by Maresie
	last attempt . (Preview) Hi all, I am mother of 2 girls and separated from my spouse since for 10 months. He has continued to spiral out of control. I am trying,one more time, in a last attempt, to send him to rehab. He has had 5 DUI's and the last two in the past 3 months. I am going to tell him via email he can't visit our girls unless...	frogswim	6	631	Jul 9, 2016 by frogswim
	Give me tolerance please (Preview) I'm spending a lot of time with a person I love. We're on holiday together. I love this person but this intensity is getting to me a bit. She's set in her ways and im trying to practice live and let live. She's negative. A really bleak outlook on life most of the time. I feel like I've got two options. My outlo...	el-cee	4	909	Jul 9, 2016 by LinSC
	Absolutely devastated (Preview) This is my first time on anything like this board, so please bare with me. I don't know how I found my way here, but here I am. Maybe God sent this forum my way for a reason. So here goes... Last September, I met a man whom I considered to be the man of my dreams. He was wonderful to me and treated me like a queen. H...	Mare33	16	803	Jul 9, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change reading 7-9-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 9 about life being a package deal. We cannot simply choose the parcel we would like and avoid the rest . I know I tried to do this and thought that it was possible how disappointed I was as I did not succeed!!! The reading points out that living life by our own rules many of us adapt...	hotrod	5	772	Jul 9, 2016 by El
	I don't know if I can forgive my dad for letting me be homeless (Preview) I need some solid alanon advice. I was evicted from my apartment back in 2010 during the recession. I lost my job and couldn't find another one. My dad married a woman that doesn't like me so I wasn't allowed to move in with him. My mother left me with my dad when I was 14 so he was my only parent. A friend of my d...	Kellygirl12	6	845	Jul 9, 2016 by Maresie
	I don't participate in social media and I guard my privacy and my coworkers don't like it! (Preview) All of my coworkers are on Facebook and want me to join Facebook and friend them. I tell them I want my privacy and don't want to join. Also they keep asking me where I live and I tell them the town but they want to know exactly where I live. My one coworker dropped me off one day and I think she is telling other...	Kellygirl12	11	962	Jul 9, 2016 by Maresie
	Q-tip (Preview) -- Editing Post -- So, I really am trying to not immediately take on the blame for people's moods and behaviors but it is my instinctual reaction. Yesterday I saw my next door neighbor and he is normally very talkative and usually runs over when he sees me. I had to say hi first and he glumly said hi and tha...	El	3	646	Jul 9, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Has anyone cheated on their alcoholic partner? (Preview) Hi Everyone, I've come across a number of posts pertaining to the alcoholic's cheating behavior, but have yet to see anything related to the partner's sexual transgressions. As my alcoholic wife's disease progressed, I became increasingly disgusted with her and her disease. As a result of her di...	Steve	6	960	Jul 8, 2016 by BeingStill
	Pain and progress in the Program (Preview) Hi, this is my first post. Working on living in the moment, doing the next right thing. Letting my HP guide me. I married my qualifier almost six years ago, aware of his drug and grass habits. A few months ago, I returned to al-anon as I was driving myself crazy with resentment and focusing too much on him....	Mcat54	2	674	Jul 8, 2016 by hotrod
	Bon Voyage Reener! (Preview) Have a safe trip back to the wetlands! Maybe you will metamorphose there into JerryF! Kenny	KennyFenderjazz	1	496	Jul 8, 2016 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.