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al anon friend & me
(Preview)
After being let down yesterday for 2-3 hrs. My friend stepped up & spent lots of time w her. She forgot about me yesterday. She didn't call. I had to call her she laughed so I hung up. I will never tell her I did. By the way in a couple of weeks I am sharing my story at our local group. They are in for it. At lea...
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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434
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Courage to Change (C2C) 7/7/16
(Preview)
Today's Courage to Change reading discusses how our outlook and attitudes are distorted by the disease, and how the program can offer us a new way to approach conflicts and issues. Most often, before our program, we looked at fault in every conflict and in every confrontation. We stewed over assig...
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Iamhere
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2
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519
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Courage To Change 6/7
(Preview)
Today's c2c speaks of the self pity many of us feel when we first arrive at al-anon and the certainty that we have been hard done by. It reminds us that by asking ourselves what we have to give, rather than what we want to receive, such as by offering service in al-anon, we can find ourselves growing in self...
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missmeliss
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2
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581
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Unexcepted apologies
(Preview)
Ok,a/sister finally breaks the silence between us after 2 days,and 4 days since we fought like children ,she enters my bedroom with a pillow held to her front wineing that she may have to go to er for pain shot,that I fractured her rib,and also that she would be getting out of my home in 2 weeks,( that's mu...
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lookingup
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1
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366
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Thankful for my family - even when they drive me nuts
(Preview)
I am on a vacation with my family of origin and I keep coming back to - "why did I think this was a good idea?" And "thank goodness I found alanon" I am trying to stay on my side of the street and just take care of myself. And I still feel some pressure to do things I don't want to do, and resentment is building. Ye...
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Taraxacum
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4
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457
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Transitions
(Preview)
This is where I am challenged the most. When big transitions happen in my life; the anxiety kicks in as the fear of letting go of something floods to the surface. I have had so many transitions this past year, some of my choosing and others not. I've tried to keep in control of what I could and let go of what I...
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Crau
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4
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489
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Updateing
(Preview)
As lots know here me and my a/sis are having to separate from each other ,I want to blame it all on the desease ,anyway she says she can't wait to get out of my house,but I still don't believe her cause I made it way to easy for her to do what she wants ,she had it easy living here barely pay 200 a mth,included eve...
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lookingup
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2
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440
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My brother is 39 and facing possible death from alcoholism
(Preview)
I am new here. I have been estranged from my older alcoholic brother for over 10 years now because he is a violent alcoholic. My father told me that my brother's doctors told him he will be dead in two years if he keeps drinking. This diagnosis was over a year ago. My dad tells me he has been sober about a year...
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Kellygirl12
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6
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2813
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Need Good Vibes
(Preview)
Im asking my pals here to devote 30 seconds of good vibes,prayers etc to me finding a job. It would sure help my Serenity. hugs ALYCE
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YARNCRAZY
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9
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733
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Parents....
(Preview)
I know this is a reality nearly all of us have to live with. I am on vacation now and was able to visit my parents. They are ok, but not functioning like they used to. It is hard seeing them get older but way better than the alternatives. The oddest part is me noticing them slipping. For so long it was ME alway...
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pinkchip
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8
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578
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Watching our son self destruct
(Preview)
We have not had any contact with our son( 36) for two months now. He is very angry with us that we told him we would no longer support him and his family because it was destroying us. We had supported them fully for two years at a distance and they lived with us for six months. And they gradually overstepped e...
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deacon
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4
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637
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Holiday snaps and musings :-)
(Preview)
Hi Folks I'm currently on the 2nd last day of my amazing holiday in Broome. Honestly if my daughter didn't have school back in Melbourne I would get a job here and move into the backpackers hostel next door to our resort. It is just magical. I've never been anywhere that I have loved so much. Back home,...
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missmeliss
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21
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789
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Moments of clarity
(Preview)
Hi all, I'm new here. I have been a member of Alanon for 15 months and usually attend at least two meetings per week, it is slowly but surely helping me come to terms with how out of control my life was/is. The alcoholic in my life is my ex partner who I broke up with for good in March this year. He is the love of m...
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lixxie6
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5
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804
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ODAT in Al Anon Reading July 5
(Preview)
The reading for today talks about how an AA speaker in an Al Anon group reminded them how desperately vulnerable the alcoholic is. He explains that deep down inside the Alcoholic knows how much trouble he is causing and is wide open to criticism. This means the Alcoholic is always on guard against at...
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KT2015
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4
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854
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People think I am really strange for being 36 and never marrying
(Preview)
I am shocked that in this day and age I am still judged for being 36 and never marrying. It is not a goal of mine. I am not sure why coworkers think that I need to be married by now. I don't understand it. I meet so many people in their 20s getting married and they think I am from another planet. How can I look at th...
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Kellygirl12
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3
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545
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78 days of sobriety...gone...
(Preview)
My ABF was doing so well...78 days sober, the longest since I've know him...and last Wednesday he relapsed...just after I decided it was time for me to break things off...this crisis occurs.
While I've handled it for the most part using my tools from Al-Anon...I have one question...I refuse to pur...
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RKTreats
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6
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2368
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Just when I think things were looking up....
(Preview)
Had a good couple of weeks,relativly good behaviour as far as the binging goes. Until today. AH left on foot at around noon and just got home fairly intoxicated. Currently sitting on the deck with his AH pub friend loudly talking and I am sure irritating my neighbours. I am embarrassed although I know I...
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Jennyp
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5
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552
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C2C Reading 7-5-2016
(Preview)
The C2C reading for July 5 speaks about Detachment. It gives a very simple and clear explanation of this powerful tool and goes on the explain that Detachment is simply the freedom to own what is mine and to allow others the freedom to do the same. . It suggests that this freedom allows us to maintain o...
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hotrod
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2
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502
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Hope for Today July 5
(Preview)
good morning everyone- I apologize for today; I have been out of town for the Fourth of July weekend and traveled without my Hope for Today book. I hope everyone enjoyed the weekend and I will write again next Tuesday. Mary
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yanksfan51
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3
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487
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New here. My dad died from alcoholism.
(Preview)
I've been in Alanon before. last summer I was really involved and worked the steps. But when I went back to college I kept making excuses and have ended up completely separated from it and struggling to get back in. I started noticing my dysfunctional behaviors with my boyfriend. We are long distance....
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Dkm3921
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3
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593
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Fear of people knowing where I live
(Preview)
I have mentioned that I don't like telling coworkers where I live. One of my coworkers dropped me off after work. I think she may have told my coworkers where I live. My question is that even if she told them where I live how do they know it is the correct address? I could have just had her drop me off in front o...
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Kellygirl12
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0
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445
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Accepting who I am
(Preview)
I am just not comfortable talking with people face to face. Which is why I have never been to a F2F meeting. I don't like talking on the phone either.
"Talking" electronically (by email, text, in an online meeting room, or like on this message board works so well for me.
I'm gueessing others feel that w...
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lgnutah
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2
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504
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tOO many expectations
(Preview)
one of my faults is that i set too high expectations for myself and people i love. I try to reason with myself and lower them but dont succeed at it much. This leaves the recipient feeling less than and that he or she lacks something. Yet i go the other way too. I dont have enough confidence in myself and so i d...
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YARNCRAZY
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0
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435
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Getting to face to face meetings
(Preview)
I have not been to any face to face alanon meetings in a long time now. Part of the reason has to do with me not wanting to walk so far at night. I realize that I can take a cab to and from the meetings and if I want to get better I need to take a cab to the meetings and make them a priority -- Edited by Kellygirl12 on M...
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Kellygirl12
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5
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503
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Living in fear is no way to live
(Preview)
Currently I am living in fear that if I make one more mistake at my job I will be fired. That is actually ridiculous to tell somebody because we all make mistakes. If this is how the company feels and how they operate then I just have to accept it if they decide to let me go. I personally know that I am doing the...
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Kellygirl12
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2
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645
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The gift of time
(Preview)
This August marks the fifth year I've been divorced and away from my ex-A; Last October was 5 years from when he left for the last time and I stumbled upon this board. Thank you John! I'd read somewhere that you should give yourself five years between relationships so that's what I did, put the whole ques...
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likemyheart
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3
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482
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Solution found.
(Preview)
So next weekend, for our birthday, His majesty and I had planned a weekend away and I was feeling worried as he has been drunk/irritable and has mentioned 50-60 times that he plans to "have a few drinks". Anyway since he has kept saying we can 'go wherever I want" I decided today that on the off-chance he...
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missmeliss
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2
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558
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Courage To Change 4/7
(Preview)
Today's c2c speaks about tradition 3- "The relatives of alcoholics, when gathered together for mutual aid, may call themselves an Al-Anon Family Group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation. The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relat...
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missmeliss
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3
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478
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Greiveing
(Preview)
I'm already starting to feel some sadness coming on,for 53 yrs of loving my a/sister,and now seeing it all over with ,it's like this is just the beginning to a ending that's happening,unless she finds her recovery or gets help ,she has made fun of me so much for things I do in my morning routine of working...
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lookingup
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6
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531
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Home sweet home :-/
(Preview)
We got in at around 1am on Friday night. The taxi ride home was kind of gruelling; my parents both got loaded on the plane. His majesty picked us up from the train station and I fell asleep pretty much as soon as we got home. I woke up and opened my suitcase to get out some clean clothes....I washed everythin...
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missmeliss
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6
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721
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I'm being threatened to be fired I need some feedback
(Preview)
I have worked as an office temp for the last six years since I was laid off from my permanent job during the recession in 2010. People ask me why I don't get a permanent job. I tell them that I have seen permanent employees get let go after many years with companies so the word temp and permanent are intercha...
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Kellygirl12
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2
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437
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long distance texting
(Preview)
Real quick I have an ala non friend who I text daily & got me through a rough day. So much gratitude.
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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456
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First Post: Feelings
(Preview)
I have so many beginnings of letters drafted in my head or on little scratch pieces of paper in the past five days. Trying to purge my emotions from my soul so that I can continue living my life and focusing on my goals. But each attempt is interrupted by Ive said that before, and the rope I am leading myself...
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Frenchie78
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5
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5047
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Courage to Change reading 7-3-2016
(Preview)
The C2C reading for July 3 speaks about being rigid and inflexible. It presents at story about a group that always started their meeting in a certain manner and that newcomers at this particular meeting were welcomed and tools shared. One night, the chairperson changed the format and many at th...
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hotrod
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5
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2570
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Alone
(Preview)
I haven't told anyone of the truth of my H's behavior. We've been married 2 years. We have his two kids full time(10 and 9) and we have a 4 month old baby. I feel desperately alone. I went to al anon meetings a year ago but haven't been able to because of newborn and work schedule. We live with his parents righ...
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Anonymouskb
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11
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564
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Enough,finally had enough
(Preview)
me and a/sister haven't been getting along for a while now,so I snapped and well she dont look to good ,no marks on me,she called the law hopeing to have me locked up,law hasn't got here but theres a law called castle doctrine that I have all rights to defend myself in y home she has only been a very over welc...
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lookingup
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7
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613
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Need some support asap
(Preview)
So, my husband's best friend is a terrible alcoholic. He has threatened me, he hurt my son last time he was over, and frankly, I'm not going to be an enabler anymore. My husband is also an alcoholic, and I am trying not to enable him either. Anyway, 4th of July is coming up, and this friend has come here ever...
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mellymoo
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14
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743
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Courage to Change reading 7-2-2016
(Preview)
C2C reading for July 2 speaks about our self destructive behavior. It points out that procrastination is one of those self-destructive behaviors.that hinders our growth and life. We develop this defect by living with the disease of alcoholism and It produces needless anxiety. Al-Anon can hel...
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hotrod
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3
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773
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Update
(Preview)
Hi everybody been missing everyone ,hope all is working out for y'all for we do deserve the best life has to offer,I've been hanging out in aca mip,room,there I have found a lot more about myself and still learning always will be learning ,so I'm trying to balance my alanon here and aca ,it can get overwh...
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lookingup
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3
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481
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Cheating Alcoholic Husband
(Preview)
i'm new to the site and have only posted once before. I found out some detailed information about my cheating alcoholic husband (of 17 years) today and could really use some support. My AH left me & my kids a year ago for his current girlfriend and we are in the middle of a divorce. Since he left I have d...
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ThreeCmom
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4
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834
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Courage to Change (C2C) 7/1/16
(Preview)
Today's C2C reading discusses self-destructive thinking and how it blocks us in daily life and recovery. Most of us have spent way too much time feeling badly about who we are and what we have done. We may have been harshly criticized by others or we may have simply lost perspective and become overly...
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Iamhere
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4
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538
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|
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Need a Sponsor
(Preview)
I'm looking for a female sponsor. I'm not able to make it to meetings but would like someone that I can correspond with via email. Preferably someone who has had an alcoholic spouse and chosen to stay with them. Please respond to this post if you think you might be interested in being my sponsor. Even if o...
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kbanonymous
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12
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7092
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Family Members
(Preview)
Wanted to get some opinions on those who have had talks with family members about them doing therapy or Al-Anon. This is my brother who is going through a really hard time and is so very angry with life in general. He is super stressed out and my sister in law thought that maybe I should have a talk with hi...
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Jazzie18
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6
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500
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New Here. Married to an Alcoholic
(Preview)
This is my first time posting here. My husband of 2 years is a functional alcoholic. We have his two kids full time And our newborn. I'm trying to figure out if is verbally/emotionally abusive. How can I tell? How do I know? how do i recover from how he treats me? At what point do you stand up and defend your...
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Anonymouskb
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13
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833
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Just sad
(Preview)
I've lived with active drinking for almost 20 years with my ex and I've felt many of the usual things, resentment, anger, hopelessness, fear etc all the usual but right now this disease just has me sad. Plain sad. I don't feel the need to change, save, rescue, plead, beg, reason none of it. I don't feel an...
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el-cee
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34
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1159
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Courage to Change (C2C) 6/30/2016
(Preview)
Today's reading is about prayer - it is not for our HP, but rather for us. There are no perfect words and there are no perfect times/ways to pray. Instead, we just need to try as our HP will know what is in our hearts. Today's Reminder is powerful enough to share ---- Prayer is my most personal form of com...
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Iamhere
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5
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572
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letting go...it's a process...an over and over again process. why is it so hard?
(Preview)
i cannot count all of the times that i have let go because i believe that it is necessary for my sanity. all i can do for my friend is pray. over and over. will this processes ever end? i simply cannot allow the love that i have for someone to destroy me. i know this. there's gotta be a way to get through t...
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crazyhope
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2
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518
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At A Loss re Grandkids
(Preview)
Hi, an old timer here. NavGrace in room. New intense problem. One of my adult children, ?A def with behaviour is abusive to his wife as reported to me by my Grandchildren. He has a strangle hold on them and my hubs and I. Sons bio Dad is the A and son is total enabler ie trading vehicles when Dad had a dui...
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IAmStrong
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2
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608
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Do you ever just get so impatient
(Preview)
That you straight out ask an alcoholic if they are insane/liars/psychologically unwell? The a in question is my parent. Her bills aren't paid, she's slurring her words at 10am on a Monday morning,can't remember dates etc and is full of the isms. I really couldn't help myself from asking her if she's g...
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a4l
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7
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627
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Does Al-Anon really have “promises”?
(Preview)
Hi, At a recent Al-Anon convention, I attended, one of the Al-Anon speakers quoted the Al-Anon Promises. I am not familiar with a list of promises (similar to the ones used by A.A. members) for Al-Anon. Does Al-Anon really have promises? I need to know about it. Think this is the right place to ask my dou...
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TamaraStreeter
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4
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1327
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Sadness
(Preview)
I am a mom of an alcoholic. He is 24. I have been attending alanon and trying to work on me. I set a boundary telling him to not come over if he is drinking. He is here and keeps going out to his car. I watched out the window and can see he is drinking. As I am trying to keep the focus on me I know I shouldn't spy on him...
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Wendy8
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4
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450
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Feeling so stuck
(Preview)
For the last couple of weeks I've been feeling so stuck. I just can't get out of it. I am stuck in this cycle of anger and resentment. I just feel really BITTER lately. It's awful to admit that because it's not something I want to be. But that is where I am. Bitter and angry and lashing out at people. I...
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KT2015
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5
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628
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|
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Trembling hands
(Preview)
What makes the alcoholic's hands shake?
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lgnutah
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1
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348
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Reener is
(Preview)
Actually my wife's nick and she is letting me use her IPod to keep up while we are traveling. Central ca. and 103 degrees right now.(((((hugs)))))
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reener
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7
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516
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UPDATE FOR SHAKEN
(Preview)
I have the most understanding boyfriend. I ended up telling him about xah,s call and the note i wrote and he took it wondefully. guess honesty wins out again. i guess i should give myself credit for being brave enough to risk losing new guy.
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YARNCRAZY
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3
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507
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Deeply in love with an alcoholic
(Preview)
We met a few years ago, got very close. We had a strong, unique connection. Nothing physical, just friends. He did ask mw out but it never happened, he always had excuses until he totally disappeared and I assumed he was just not that interested. We lost touch and met a few months ago. It felt so good and...
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Nawew
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15
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869
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How will i feel....
(Preview)
When and if my ah is diognoised with an alcoholic related ilness? Will it be an " I told you so" moment or will I be sympathetic? I will take care of him until the end but will I try to comfort him or tell him to stop whining because he did it to himself,or will I fall somewhere in between these feelings? Things...
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pixie
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8
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588
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Court hearing
(Preview)
I decided to take my XAH back to court. He has told me he will not pay for our son's private school next year but he never provided me with a better solution and didn't move on the suggestions that he made. I went to a lawyer who helped me draft a petition to enforce school choice and in the process, the lawy...
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andromeda
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4
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485
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Courage To Change 29/6
(Preview)
Today's C2C speaks of step 4, and the value of recognising our assets within our fearless and searching moral inventory. It suggests that although at first many of us cannot see the value in recognising our assets, these are in fact the foundation on which our new life is being built; if we don't learn...
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missmeliss
|
3
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549
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Reacting and God's will
(Preview)
I have had a resentment swirling around my mind for days, Ive let it go, discussed it over and over with non alanon people, let it go, took it back, let it go and then I have manipulated a conversation through being passive aggressive and the person of course then asked the question 'whats wrong' and then...
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el-cee
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2
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629
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