Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Lyne · Lyne

I was thinking this morning that at times I feel guilty that I no longer have romantic feelings for my A, and respect has diminished in many areas. My A's behavior clogs my brain. I try to practice all my tools, slogans, 3 C's, ODAT, etc. My A's behavior is very sick and sad. I wish I had the feelings I us...

yoda · yoda

New to this forum, I am. Introduce myself, I must. 43 years old, am I - 25 years, have I been in Al-Anon and around AA. Music (saxophone, guitar and piano, I play) and reading (ie: Don Miguel Ruiz, Joel Goldsmith, Eckhart Tolle & 12 step literature), I certainly enjoy. Fabulous people in this prog...

lisad67 · lisad67

Its been since November since Ive posted. I am in a relationship with an alcoholic. He is destructive to himself when life gets tough. He drinks and gets completely out of control. I thought he was making steps toward change but he was only hiding it really well from me. He is not hiding it anymore....

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for July 12 speaks about the Fifth Tradition. This is the tradition which outlines Al-Anon's purpose and identifies how we go about doing it. In this Tradition,it is suggested that we encourage and understand our alcoholic relatives. The reading tries to make it clear that we can foc...

CyndiODAT · CyndiODAT

Hi friends, What are your tools, tips and tricks for turning around negative thought patterns. I know 'people like us' are so strongly 'programmed' with thoughts and beliefs that are mostly 99% FALSE - but are so strongly ingrained in our subsconscious minds, it seems impossible to keep those tape...

slvp55 · slvp55

I'm just wondering, because I am a grateful recovering member of both programs, married to a sober dry drunk who is a hoarder. I have to work both programs because I know that if I don't use Alanon, I have to really really work AA. Living with a dry drunk can be just as crazy making as living with a practic...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about the power that fear can have in our lives. it is pointed out that fear is often behind our need for control, or our belief that if we can establish control, our fear will be assuaged. When I read this it reminded me of what I think of as my 'reaching bottom'. ...

oneatatime · oneatatime

My husband asked me to write an affect or impact letter to place in a sealed envelope for him to read at group the middle of this week. I am looking for opinions as to if it sounds to harsh and angry. I don't want him to shut down while reading it but I am tired of being afraid and treating him with kid gloves...

sassy12 · sassy12

Hi This is the first time for me entering anything related to Alcohol. I have drank on and off socially. This last year I had maybe 6 drinks total. Two years ago I reconnected with a man i knew from elementary school . I heard from him after 30 years. We have since fallen in love and had made plans for him t...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c talks about anger, and appropriate ways to deal with it. Many of us have very poor tools for managing anger when we arrive at al-anon; stuffing our feelings, denying they exist, storming off in a huff, exploding, etc. The reading suggests chanelling anger into less destructive (or const...

Jerry F · Jerry F

w happy, amused, tired and hopeful. God the trip to Central Valley turned out to be the true God shot from start to stop and while I intended not to go HP diminished all of my justifications and then I said okay. It turned out to be the best okay I have made is such a long long time right up until I opened my...

el-cee · el-cee

This lovely day. Beautiful sunshine. A healthy family just for today. Tools of this amazing program that can help me be the person I want to be. A person I can be proud of. Being able to have a healthy attitude, a positive outlook on life, taking it on life's terms in all its glory. Having a much more open he...

Sisu14 · Sisu14

Hello, my Al-Anon family,I will try to keep this brief. I need to leave my boyfriend of seven years, and it is killing me. I truly just need the perspective of outsiders who do not know me for guidance.He has been an alcoholic since (long before) day one of our relationship, and for two years it was a vicio...

CyndiODAT · CyndiODAT

HI everyone, In my ongoing effort to 'take care of Cyndi' in relationships, I made the hard decision to let go of the guy friend I have been seeing 'casually' over the last 10 weeks. I was starting to develop some feelings and I know he is not 'ready' to explore anything in terms of a relationship. I knew...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for July 10 speaks about what it is like to live with the disease of alcoholism. It points out that we lose perspective on whom we are and what we can and cannot do. It suggests that we unknowingly accept ideas about our own limitations that have no basis in reality. Al-Anon encourages...

LinSC · LinSC

I'm an Alanon member, ACOA, and border on co-dependent type.... Ive been invited to a garden party, a day on a lake! Something keeps running through my head, self talk, or programming...that I don't deserve to have fun! Where on earth did that come from? It's a very subtle voice, but it's always there,...

rogeydog · rogeydog

I am struggling with my husband and my boundaries and detaching with love. We have been on the rollercoaster for a few years, especially this past year. His last slip was about 3 months ago, which has been the pattern, 3 months sober, gets too confident then slips. Well we are there again. His last sl...

Javanica · Javanica

We Need to have willingness or determination to change to move forward to progress!

frogswim · frogswim

Hi all, I am mother of 2 girls and separated from my spouse since for 10 months. He has continued to spiral out of control. I am trying,one more time, in a last attempt, to send him to rehab. He has had 5 DUI's and the last two in the past 3 months. I am going to tell him via email he can't visit our girls unless...

el-cee · el-cee

I'm spending a lot of time with a person I love. We're on holiday together. I love this person but this intensity is getting to me a bit. She's set in her ways and im trying to practice live and let live. She's negative. A really bleak outlook on life most of the time. I feel like I've got two options. My outlo...

Mare33 · Mare33

This is my first time on anything like this board, so please bare with me. I don't know how I found my way here, but here I am. Maybe God sent this forum my way for a reason. So here goes... Last September, I met a man whom I considered to be the man of my dreams. He was wonderful to me and treated me like a queen. H...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for July 9 about life being a package deal. We cannot simply choose the parcel we would like and avoid the rest . I know I tried to do this and thought that it was possible how disappointed I was as I did not succeed!!! The reading points out that living life by our own rules many of us adapt...

Kellygirl12 · Kellygirl12

I need some solid alanon advice. I was evicted from my apartment back in 2010 during the recession. I lost my job and couldn't find another one. My dad married a woman that doesn't like me so I wasn't allowed to move in with him. My mother left me with my dad when I was 14 so he was my only parent. A friend of my d...

Kellygirl12 · Kellygirl12

All of my coworkers are on Facebook and want me to join Facebook and friend them. I tell them I want my privacy and don't want to join. Also they keep asking me where I live and I tell them the town but they want to know exactly where I live. My one coworker dropped me off one day and I think she is telling other...

El · El

-- Editing Post -- So, I really am trying to not immediately take on the blame for people's moods and behaviors but it is my instinctual reaction. Yesterday I saw my next door neighbor and he is normally very talkative and usually runs over when he sees me. I had to say hi first and he glumly said hi and tha...

Steve · Steve

Hi Everyone, I've come across a number of posts pertaining to the alcoholic's cheating behavior, but have yet to see anything related to the partner's sexual transgressions. As my alcoholic wife's disease progressed, I became increasingly disgusted with her and her disease. As a result of her di...

Mcat54 · Mcat54

Hi, this is my first post. Working on living in the moment, doing the next right thing. Letting my HP guide me. I married my qualifier almost six years ago, aware of his drug and grass habits. A few months ago, I returned to al-anon as I was driving myself crazy with resentment and focusing too much on him....

KennyFenderjazz · KennyFenderjazz

Have a safe trip back to the wetlands! Maybe you will metamorphose there into JerryF! Kenny

lookingup · lookingup

While I've been searching for an apt,and going ahead and getting my boxes to start packin,and the goodbyes to long time freinds of 40 yrs ,that part is sad,but it's time now ,it's time for me to go ,make a change to the good and get into the apt living sit.no more yard work yay,.makes for a very short day whe...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm now finishing up my step 3 ?s ,this one ? Really had my stumped ,guess I've always wondered it ,.....here's the ? ......what can I do to see others through gods eyes? My answers was prayer,and serv work for others,and to acknowledge that they are only human with flaws like my own.....any add ons ? M...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is all about one of our slogans/principles - One Day at A Time. The reading discusses nature, and how spiritual it can be when we stop and consider that it exists one moment and/or one day at a time. Trees do not sit around and worry about forest fires. Pond water doesn't fret over turb...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

After being let down yesterday for 2-3 hrs. My friend stepped up & spent lots of time w her. She forgot about me yesterday. She didn't call. I had to call her she laughed so I hung up. I will never tell her I did. By the way in a couple of weeks I am sharing my story at our local group. They are in for it. At lea...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's Courage to Change reading discusses how our outlook and attitudes are distorted by the disease, and how the program can offer us a new way to approach conflicts and issues. Most often, before our program, we looked at fault in every conflict and in every confrontation. We stewed over assig...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c speaks of the self pity many of us feel when we first arrive at al-anon and the certainty that we have been hard done by. It reminds us that by asking ourselves what we have to give, rather than what we want to receive, such as by offering service in al-anon, we can find ourselves growing in self...

lookingup · lookingup

Ok,a/sister finally breaks the silence between us after 2 days,and 4 days since we fought like children ,she enters my bedroom with a pillow held to her front wineing that she may have to go to er for pain shot,that I fractured her rib,and also that she would be getting out of my home in 2 weeks,( that's mu...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

I am on a vacation with my family of origin and I keep coming back to - "why did I think this was a good idea?" And "thank goodness I found alanon" I am trying to stay on my side of the street and just take care of myself. And I still feel some pressure to do things I don't want to do, and resentment is building. Ye...

Crau · Crau

This is where I am challenged the most. When big transitions happen in my life; the anxiety kicks in as the fear of letting go of something floods to the surface. I have had so many transitions this past year, some of my choosing and others not. I've tried to keep in control of what I could and let go of what I...

lookingup · lookingup

As lots know here me and my a/sis are having to separate from each other ,I want to blame it all on the desease ,anyway she says she can't wait to get out of my house,but I still don't believe her cause I made it way to easy for her to do what she wants ,she had it easy living here barely pay 200 a mth,included eve...

Kellygirl12 · Kellygirl12

I am new here. I have been estranged from my older alcoholic brother for over 10 years now because he is a violent alcoholic. My father told me that my brother's doctors told him he will be dead in two years if he keeps drinking. This diagnosis was over a year ago. My dad tells me he has been sober about a year...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Im asking my pals here to devote 30 seconds of good vibes,prayers etc to me finding a job. It would sure help my Serenity. hugs ALYCE

pinkchip · pinkchip

I know this is a reality nearly all of us have to live with. I am on vacation now and was able to visit my parents. They are ok, but not functioning like they used to. It is hard seeing them get older but way better than the alternatives. The oddest part is me noticing them slipping. For so long it was ME alway...

deacon · deacon

We have not had any contact with our son( 36) for two months now. He is very angry with us that we told him we would no longer support him and his family because it was destroying us. We had supported them fully for two years at a distance and they lived with us for six months. And they gradually overstepped e...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Hi Folks

I'm currently on the 2nd last day of my amazing holiday in Broome. Honestly if my daughter didn't have school back in Melbourne I would get a job here and move into the backpackers hostel next door to our resort. It is just magical. I've never been anywhere that I have loved so much. Back home,...

lixxie6 · lixxie6

Hi all, I'm new here. I have been a member of Alanon for 15 months and usually attend at least two meetings per week, it is slowly but surely helping me come to terms with how out of control my life was/is. The alcoholic in my life is my ex partner who I broke up with for good in March this year. He is the love of m...

KT2015 · KT2015

The reading for today talks about how an AA speaker in an Al Anon group reminded them how desperately vulnerable the alcoholic is. He explains that deep down inside the Alcoholic knows how much trouble he is causing and is wide open to criticism. This means the Alcoholic is always on guard against at...

Kellygirl12 · Kellygirl12

I am shocked that in this day and age I am still judged for being 36 and never marrying. It is not a goal of mine. I am not sure why coworkers think that I need to be married by now. I don't understand it. I meet so many people in their 20s getting married and they think I am from another planet. How can I look at th...

RKTreats · RKTreats

My ABF was doing so well...78 days sober, the longest since I've know him...and last Wednesday he relapsed...just after I decided it was time for me to break things off...this crisis occurs. While I've handled it for the most part using my tools from Al-Anon...I have one question...I refuse to pur...

Jennyp · Jennyp

Had a good couple of weeks,relativly good behaviour as far as the binging goes. Until today. AH left on foot at around noon and just got home fairly intoxicated. Currently sitting on the deck with his AH pub friend loudly talking and I am sure irritating my neighbours. I am embarrassed although I know I...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for July 5 speaks about Detachment. It gives a very simple and clear explanation of this powerful tool and goes on the explain that Detachment is simply the freedom to own what is mine and to allow others the freedom to do the same. . It suggests that this freedom allows us to maintain o...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

good morning everyone- I apologize for today; I have been out of town for the Fourth of July weekend and traveled without my Hope for Today book. I hope everyone enjoyed the weekend and I will write again next Tuesday. Mary

Dkm3921 · Dkm3921

I've been in Alanon before. last summer I was really involved and worked the steps. But when I went back to college I kept making excuses and have ended up completely separated from it and struggling to get back in. I started noticing my dysfunctional behaviors with my boyfriend. We are long distance....

Kellygirl12 · Kellygirl12

I have mentioned that I don't like telling coworkers where I live. One of my coworkers dropped me off after work. I think she may have told my coworkers where I live. My question is that even if she told them where I live how do they know it is the correct address? I could have just had her drop me off in front o...

lgnutah · lgnutah

I am just not comfortable talking with people face to face. Which is why I have never been to a F2F meeting. I don't like talking on the phone either. "Talking" electronically (by email, text, in an online meeting room, or like on this message board works so well for me. I'm gueessing others feel that w...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

one of my faults is that i set too high expectations for myself and people i love. I try to reason with myself and lower them but dont succeed at it much. This leaves the recipient feeling less than and that he or she lacks something. Yet i go the other way too. I dont have enough confidence in myself and so i d...

Kellygirl12 · Kellygirl12

I have not been to any face to face alanon meetings in a long time now. Part of the reason has to do with me not wanting to walk so far at night. I realize that I can take a cab to and from the meetings and if I want to get better I need to take a cab to the meetings and make them a priority -- Edited by Kellygirl12 on M...

Kellygirl12 · Kellygirl12

Currently I am living in fear that if I make one more mistake at my job I will be fired. That is actually ridiculous to tell somebody because we all make mistakes. If this is how the company feels and how they operate then I just have to accept it if they decide to let me go. I personally know that I am doing the...

likemyheart · likemyheart

This August marks the fifth year I've been divorced and away from my ex-A; Last October was 5 years from when he left for the last time and I stumbled upon this board. Thank you John! I'd read somewhere that you should give yourself five years between relationships so that's what I did, put the whole ques...

missmeliss · missmeliss

So next weekend, for our birthday, His majesty and I had planned a weekend away and I was feeling worried as he has been drunk/irritable and has mentioned 50-60 times that he plans to "have a few drinks". Anyway since he has kept saying we can 'go wherever I want" I decided today that on the off-chance he...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c speaks about tradition 3- "The relatives of alcoholics, when gathered together for mutual aid, may call themselves an Al-Anon Family Group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation. The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relat...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm already starting to feel some sadness coming on,for 53 yrs of loving my a/sister,and now seeing it all over with ,it's like this is just the beginning to a ending that's happening,unless she finds her recovery or gets help ,she has made fun of me so much for things I do in my morning routine of working...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Living with my A (Preview) I was thinking this morning that at times I feel guilty that I no longer have romantic feelings for my A, and respect has diminished in many areas. My A's behavior clogs my brain. I try to practice all my tools, slogans, 3 C's, ODAT, etc. My A's behavior is very sick and sad. I wish I had the feelings I us...	Lyne	5	623	Jul 14, 2016 by el-cee
	Introduction (Preview) New to this forum, I am. Introduce myself, I must. 43 years old, am I - 25 years, have I been in Al-Anon and around AA. Music (saxophone, guitar and piano, I play) and reading (ie: Don Miguel Ruiz, Joel Goldsmith, Eckhart Tolle & 12 step literature), I certainly enjoy. Fabulous people in this prog...	yoda	2	393	Jul 13, 2016 by LinSC
	feeling desperate and just defeated (Preview) Its been since November since Ive posted. I am in a relationship with an alcoholic. He is destructive to himself when life gets tough. He drinks and gets completely out of control. I thought he was making steps toward change but he was only hiding it really well from me. He is not hiding it anymore....	lisad67	16	626	Jul 13, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	Courage to Change reading 7-12-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 12 speaks about the Fifth Tradition. This is the tradition which outlines Al-Anon's purpose and identifies how we go about doing it. In this Tradition,it is suggested that we encourage and understand our alcoholic relatives. The reading tries to make it clear that we can foc...	hotrod	5	535	Jul 13, 2016 by hotrod
	Stinkin' Thinkin' (Preview) Hi friends, What are your tools, tips and tricks for turning around negative thought patterns. I know 'people like us' are so strongly 'programmed' with thoughts and beliefs that are mostly 99% FALSE - but are so strongly ingrained in our subsconscious minds, it seems impossible to keep those tape...	CyndiODAT	19	929	Jul 12, 2016 by Maresie
	How many of us are both AA & Alanon? (Preview) I'm just wondering, because I am a grateful recovering member of both programs, married to a sober dry drunk who is a hoarder. I have to work both programs because I know that if I don't use Alanon, I have to really really work AA. Living with a dry drunk can be just as crazy making as living with a practic...	slvp55	7	693	Jul 12, 2016 by Jerry F
	Hope for Today July 12 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about the power that fear can have in our lives. it is pointed out that fear is often behind our need for control, or our belief that if we can establish control, our fear will be assuaged. When I read this it reminded me of what I think of as my 'reaching bottom'. ...	yanksfan51	3	436	Jul 12, 2016 by lookingup
	impact letter to my husband (Preview) My husband asked me to write an affect or impact letter to place in a sealed envelope for him to read at group the middle of this week. I am looking for opinions as to if it sounds to harsh and angry. I don't want him to shut down while reading it but I am tired of being afraid and treating him with kid gloves...	oneatatime	8	9570	Jul 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	New and my boyfriend is in AA (Preview) Hi This is the first time for me entering anything related to Alcohol. I have drank on and off socially. This last year I had maybe 6 drinks total. Two years ago I reconnected with a man i knew from elementary school . I heard from him after 30 years. We have since fallen in love and had made plans for him t...	sassy12	4	555	Jul 11, 2016 by Maresie
	Courage to change 11/7 (Preview) Today's c2c talks about anger, and appropriate ways to deal with it. Many of us have very poor tools for managing anger when we arrive at al-anon; stuffing our feelings, denying they exist, storming off in a huff, exploding, etc. The reading suggests chanelling anger into less destructive (or const...	missmeliss	2	434	Jul 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	Back home... (Preview) w happy, amused, tired and hopeful. God the trip to Central Valley turned out to be the true God shot from start to stop and while I intended not to go HP diminished all of my justifications and then I said okay. It turned out to be the best okay I have made is such a long long time right up until I opened my...	Jerry F	5	436	Jul 10, 2016 by KT2015
	Grateful for.... (Preview) This lovely day. Beautiful sunshine. A healthy family just for today. Tools of this amazing program that can help me be the person I want to be. A person I can be proud of. Being able to have a healthy attitude, a positive outlook on life, taking it on life's terms in all its glory. Having a much more open he...	el-cee	5	502	Jul 10, 2016 by Iamhere
	Desperate for perspective with a difficult decision (Preview) Hello, my Al-Anon family,I will try to keep this brief. I need to leave my boyfriend of seven years, and it is killing me. I truly just need the perspective of outsiders who do not know me for guidance.He has been an alcoholic since (long before) day one of our relationship, and for two years it was a vicio...	Sisu14	6	671	Jul 10, 2016 by Iamhere
	Progress for me :-) (Preview) HI everyone, In my ongoing effort to 'take care of Cyndi' in relationships, I made the hard decision to let go of the guy friend I have been seeing 'casually' over the last 10 weeks. I was starting to develop some feelings and I know he is not 'ready' to explore anything in terms of a relationship. I knew...	CyndiODAT	6	718	Jul 10, 2016 by Maresie
	Courage to Change Reading 7-10-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 10 speaks about what it is like to live with the disease of alcoholism. It points out that we lose perspective on whom we are and what we can and cannot do. It suggests that we unknowingly accept ideas about our own limitations that have no basis in reality. Al-Anon encourages...	hotrod	2	647	Jul 10, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Fun is out of my comfort zone! (Preview) I'm an Alanon member, ACOA, and border on co-dependent type.... Ive been invited to a garden party, a day on a lake! Something keeps running through my head, self talk, or programming...that I don't deserve to have fun! Where on earth did that come from? It's a very subtle voice, but it's always there,...	LinSC	12	664	Jul 10, 2016 by Iamhere
	Detaching with love and keeping boundaries (Preview) I am struggling with my husband and my boundaries and detaching with love. We have been on the rollercoaster for a few years, especially this past year. His last slip was about 3 months ago, which has been the pattern, 3 months sober, gets too confident then slips. Well we are there again. His last sl...	rogeydog	11	946	Jul 10, 2016 by Maresie
	Determination (Preview) We Need to have willingness or determination to change to move forward to progress!	Javanica	3	473	Jul 9, 2016 by Maresie
	last attempt . (Preview) Hi all, I am mother of 2 girls and separated from my spouse since for 10 months. He has continued to spiral out of control. I am trying,one more time, in a last attempt, to send him to rehab. He has had 5 DUI's and the last two in the past 3 months. I am going to tell him via email he can't visit our girls unless...	frogswim	6	525	Jul 9, 2016 by frogswim
	Give me tolerance please (Preview) I'm spending a lot of time with a person I love. We're on holiday together. I love this person but this intensity is getting to me a bit. She's set in her ways and im trying to practice live and let live. She's negative. A really bleak outlook on life most of the time. I feel like I've got two options. My outlo...	el-cee	4	787	Jul 9, 2016 by LinSC
	Absolutely devastated (Preview) This is my first time on anything like this board, so please bare with me. I don't know how I found my way here, but here I am. Maybe God sent this forum my way for a reason. So here goes... Last September, I met a man whom I considered to be the man of my dreams. He was wonderful to me and treated me like a queen. H...	Mare33	16	687	Jul 9, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change reading 7-9-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 9 about life being a package deal. We cannot simply choose the parcel we would like and avoid the rest . I know I tried to do this and thought that it was possible how disappointed I was as I did not succeed!!! The reading points out that living life by our own rules many of us adapt...	hotrod	5	671	Jul 9, 2016 by El
	I don't know if I can forgive my dad for letting me be homeless (Preview) I need some solid alanon advice. I was evicted from my apartment back in 2010 during the recession. I lost my job and couldn't find another one. My dad married a woman that doesn't like me so I wasn't allowed to move in with him. My mother left me with my dad when I was 14 so he was my only parent. A friend of my d...	Kellygirl12	6	739	Jul 9, 2016 by Maresie
	I don't participate in social media and I guard my privacy and my coworkers don't like it! (Preview) All of my coworkers are on Facebook and want me to join Facebook and friend them. I tell them I want my privacy and don't want to join. Also they keep asking me where I live and I tell them the town but they want to know exactly where I live. My one coworker dropped me off one day and I think she is telling other...	Kellygirl12	11	846	Jul 9, 2016 by Maresie
	Q-tip (Preview) -- Editing Post -- So, I really am trying to not immediately take on the blame for people's moods and behaviors but it is my instinctual reaction. Yesterday I saw my next door neighbor and he is normally very talkative and usually runs over when he sees me. I had to say hi first and he glumly said hi and tha...	El	3	536	Jul 9, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Has anyone cheated on their alcoholic partner? (Preview) Hi Everyone, I've come across a number of posts pertaining to the alcoholic's cheating behavior, but have yet to see anything related to the partner's sexual transgressions. As my alcoholic wife's disease progressed, I became increasingly disgusted with her and her disease. As a result of her di...	Steve	6	840	Jul 8, 2016 by BeingStill
	Pain and progress in the Program (Preview) Hi, this is my first post. Working on living in the moment, doing the next right thing. Letting my HP guide me. I married my qualifier almost six years ago, aware of his drug and grass habits. A few months ago, I returned to al-anon as I was driving myself crazy with resentment and focusing too much on him....	Mcat54	2	554	Jul 8, 2016 by hotrod
	Bon Voyage Reener! (Preview) Have a safe trip back to the wetlands! Maybe you will metamorphose there into JerryF! Kenny	KennyFenderjazz	1	394	Jul 8, 2016 by Iamhere
	Day went by fast (Preview) While I've been searching for an apt,and going ahead and getting my boxes to start packin,and the goodbyes to long time freinds of 40 yrs ,that part is sad,but it's time now ,it's time for me to go ,make a change to the good and get into the apt living sit.no more yard work yay,.makes for a very short day whe...	lookingup	11	587	Jul 8, 2016 by lookingup
	Step 3 (Preview) I'm now finishing up my step 3 ?s ,this one ? Really had my stumped ,guess I've always wondered it ,.....here's the ? ......what can I do to see others through gods eyes? My answers was prayer,and serv work for others,and to acknowledge that they are only human with flaws like my own.....any add ons ? M...	lookingup	1	366	Jul 8, 2016 by reener
	Courage to Change (C2C) 7/8/16 (Preview) Today's reading is all about one of our slogans/principles - One Day at A Time. The reading discusses nature, and how spiritual it can be when we stop and consider that it exists one moment and/or one day at a time. Trees do not sit around and worry about forest fires. Pond water doesn't fret over turb...	Iamhere	1	604	Jul 8, 2016 by hotrod
	al anon friend & me (Preview) After being let down yesterday for 2-3 hrs. My friend stepped up & spent lots of time w her. She forgot about me yesterday. She didn't call. I had to call her she laughed so I hung up. I will never tell her I did. By the way in a couple of weeks I am sharing my story at our local group. They are in for it. At lea...	Hoot Nanny	4	464	Jul 7, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Courage to Change (C2C) 7/7/16 (Preview) Today's Courage to Change reading discusses how our outlook and attitudes are distorted by the disease, and how the program can offer us a new way to approach conflicts and issues. Most often, before our program, we looked at fault in every conflict and in every confrontation. We stewed over assig...	Iamhere	2	565	Jul 7, 2016 by missmeliss
	Courage To Change 6/7 (Preview) Today's c2c speaks of the self pity many of us feel when we first arrive at al-anon and the certainty that we have been hard done by. It reminds us that by asking ourselves what we have to give, rather than what we want to receive, such as by offering service in al-anon, we can find ourselves growing in self...	missmeliss	2	635	Jul 6, 2016 by hotrod
	Unexcepted apologies (Preview) Ok,a/sister finally breaks the silence between us after 2 days,and 4 days since we fought like children ,she enters my bedroom with a pillow held to her front wineing that she may have to go to er for pain shot,that I fractured her rib,and also that she would be getting out of my home in 2 weeks,( that's mu...	lookingup	1	403	Jul 6, 2016 by hotrod
	Thankful for my family - even when they drive me nuts (Preview) I am on a vacation with my family of origin and I keep coming back to - "why did I think this was a good idea?" And "thank goodness I found alanon" I am trying to stay on my side of the street and just take care of myself. And I still feel some pressure to do things I don't want to do, and resentment is building. Ye...	Taraxacum	4	502	Jul 6, 2016 by lookingup
	Transitions (Preview) This is where I am challenged the most. When big transitions happen in my life; the anxiety kicks in as the fear of letting go of something floods to the surface. I have had so many transitions this past year, some of my choosing and others not. I've tried to keep in control of what I could and let go of what I...	Crau	4	537	Jul 6, 2016 by lookingup
	Updateing (Preview) As lots know here me and my a/sis are having to separate from each other ,I want to blame it all on the desease ,anyway she says she can't wait to get out of my house,but I still don't believe her cause I made it way to easy for her to do what she wants ,she had it easy living here barely pay 200 a mth,included eve...	lookingup	2	478	Jul 6, 2016 by lookingup
	My brother is 39 and facing possible death from alcoholism (Preview) I am new here. I have been estranged from my older alcoholic brother for over 10 years now because he is a violent alcoholic. My father told me that my brother's doctors told him he will be dead in two years if he keeps drinking. This diagnosis was over a year ago. My dad tells me he has been sober about a year...	Kellygirl12	6	3039	Jul 6, 2016 by reener
	Need Good Vibes (Preview) Im asking my pals here to devote 30 seconds of good vibes,prayers etc to me finding a job. It would sure help my Serenity. hugs ALYCE	YARNCRAZY	9	767	Jul 6, 2016 by Taraxacum
	Parents.... (Preview) I know this is a reality nearly all of us have to live with. I am on vacation now and was able to visit my parents. They are ok, but not functioning like they used to. It is hard seeing them get older but way better than the alternatives. The oddest part is me noticing them slipping. For so long it was ME alway...	pinkchip	8	622	Jul 5, 2016 by reener
	Watching our son self destruct (Preview) We have not had any contact with our son( 36) for two months now. He is very angry with us that we told him we would no longer support him and his family because it was destroying us. We had supported them fully for two years at a distance and they lived with us for six months. And they gradually overstepped e...	deacon	4	688	Jul 5, 2016 by reener
	Holiday snaps and musings :-) (Preview) Hi Folks I'm currently on the 2nd last day of my amazing holiday in Broome. Honestly if my daughter didn't have school back in Melbourne I would get a job here and move into the backpackers hostel next door to our resort. It is just magical. I've never been anywhere that I have loved so much. Back home,...	missmeliss	21	836	Jul 5, 2016 by 1911A1
	Moments of clarity (Preview) Hi all, I'm new here. I have been a member of Alanon for 15 months and usually attend at least two meetings per week, it is slowly but surely helping me come to terms with how out of control my life was/is. The alcoholic in my life is my ex partner who I broke up with for good in March this year. He is the love of m...	lixxie6	5	858	Jul 5, 2016 by reener
	ODAT in Al Anon Reading July 5 (Preview) The reading for today talks about how an AA speaker in an Al Anon group reminded them how desperately vulnerable the alcoholic is. He explains that deep down inside the Alcoholic knows how much trouble he is causing and is wide open to criticism. This means the Alcoholic is always on guard against at...	KT2015	4	907	Jul 5, 2016 by Bethany66
	People think I am really strange for being 36 and never marrying (Preview) I am shocked that in this day and age I am still judged for being 36 and never marrying. It is not a goal of mine. I am not sure why coworkers think that I need to be married by now. I don't understand it. I meet so many people in their 20s getting married and they think I am from another planet. How can I look at th...	Kellygirl12	3	599	Jul 5, 2016 by Cathyinaz
	78 days of sobriety...gone... (Preview) My ABF was doing so well...78 days sober, the longest since I've know him...and last Wednesday he relapsed...just after I decided it was time for me to break things off...this crisis occurs. While I've handled it for the most part using my tools from Al-Anon...I have one question...I refuse to pur...	RKTreats	6	2555	Jul 5, 2016 by tiredtonite
	Just when I think things were looking up.... (Preview) Had a good couple of weeks,relativly good behaviour as far as the binging goes. Until today. AH left on foot at around noon and just got home fairly intoxicated. Currently sitting on the deck with his AH pub friend loudly talking and I am sure irritating my neighbours. I am embarrassed although I know I...	Jennyp	5	599	Jul 5, 2016 by reener
	C2C Reading 7-5-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 5 speaks about Detachment. It gives a very simple and clear explanation of this powerful tool and goes on the explain that Detachment is simply the freedom to own what is mine and to allow others the freedom to do the same. . It suggests that this freedom allows us to maintain o...	hotrod	2	550	Jul 5, 2016 by yanksfan51
	Hope for Today July 5 (Preview) good morning everyone- I apologize for today; I have been out of town for the Fourth of July weekend and traveled without my Hope for Today book. I hope everyone enjoyed the weekend and I will write again next Tuesday. Mary	yanksfan51	3	522	Jul 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	New here. My dad died from alcoholism. (Preview) I've been in Alanon before. last summer I was really involved and worked the steps. But when I went back to college I kept making excuses and have ended up completely separated from it and struggling to get back in. I started noticing my dysfunctional behaviors with my boyfriend. We are long distance....	Dkm3921	3	641	Jul 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	Fear of people knowing where I live (Preview) I have mentioned that I don't like telling coworkers where I live. One of my coworkers dropped me off after work. I think she may have told my coworkers where I live. My question is that even if she told them where I live how do they know it is the correct address? I could have just had her drop me off in front o...	Kellygirl12	0	488	Jul 4, 2016 by Kellygirl12
	Accepting who I am (Preview) I am just not comfortable talking with people face to face. Which is why I have never been to a F2F meeting. I don't like talking on the phone either. "Talking" electronically (by email, text, in an online meeting room, or like on this message board works so well for me. I'm gueessing others feel that w...	lgnutah	2	542	Jul 4, 2016 by Mirandac
	tOO many expectations (Preview) one of my faults is that i set too high expectations for myself and people i love. I try to reason with myself and lower them but dont succeed at it much. This leaves the recipient feeling less than and that he or she lacks something. Yet i go the other way too. I dont have enough confidence in myself and so i d...	YARNCRAZY	0	467	Jul 4, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	Getting to face to face meetings (Preview) I have not been to any face to face alanon meetings in a long time now. Part of the reason has to do with me not wanting to walk so far at night. I realize that I can take a cab to and from the meetings and if I want to get better I need to take a cab to the meetings and make them a priority -- Edited by Kellygirl12 on M...	Kellygirl12	5	554	Jul 4, 2016 by Kellygirl12
	Living in fear is no way to live (Preview) Currently I am living in fear that if I make one more mistake at my job I will be fired. That is actually ridiculous to tell somebody because we all make mistakes. If this is how the company feels and how they operate then I just have to accept it if they decide to let me go. I personally know that I am doing the...	Kellygirl12	2	696	Jul 4, 2016 by Kellygirl12
	The gift of time (Preview) This August marks the fifth year I've been divorced and away from my ex-A; Last October was 5 years from when he left for the last time and I stumbled upon this board. Thank you John! I'd read somewhere that you should give yourself five years between relationships so that's what I did, put the whole ques...	likemyheart	3	527	Jul 4, 2016 by hotrod
	Solution found. (Preview) So next weekend, for our birthday, His majesty and I had planned a weekend away and I was feeling worried as he has been drunk/irritable and has mentioned 50-60 times that he plans to "have a few drinks". Anyway since he has kept saying we can 'go wherever I want" I decided today that on the off-chance he...	missmeliss	2	625	Jul 4, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage To Change 4/7 (Preview) Today's c2c speaks about tradition 3- "The relatives of alcoholics, when gathered together for mutual aid, may call themselves an Al-Anon Family Group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation. The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relat...	missmeliss	3	528	Jul 4, 2016 by hotrod
	Greiveing (Preview) I'm already starting to feel some sadness coming on,for 53 yrs of loving my a/sister,and now seeing it all over with ,it's like this is just the beginning to a ending that's happening,unless she finds her recovery or gets help ,she has made fun of me so much for things I do in my morning routine of working...	lookingup	6	570	Jul 4, 2016 by lookingup
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.