Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Hello all, had been enjoying a pleasant, calm Sunday morning with AH. Getting along well, me in and enjoying Al-anon mode. Then in an instant, a mood swing happens in him. Quite a surprise, useful wake up call for me to witness just how unwell he is. Turned from pleasant to dark faced and snarling in a se...

Zoe197979 · Zoe197979

Hi I've never been on something like this before but I cant take anymore. My husband has had a drink problem for 15 years however 5 years ago he started adding cocaine to the mix. We have had many arguments which resulted in him walking out on me on Thursday to go to the pub rather than try and work out his mar...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for September 11 (a difficult day for me) speaks about working the Fourth Step and making a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. The reading suggests that many times while we are working the Fourth Step, we will uncover hidden destructive attitudes that we did not r...

Crau · Crau

The word we all need and all have lost I assume along the way. I often think about trust and how it can be repaired with some and lost forever with others. does working our own program help in turn for us to accept, forgive and untimely build back trust with our qualifiers? should trust always be rebui...

jojo8466 · jojo8466

UGH!!!!! So I'm driving home from work and here comes ex ABF in his truck! The road that he takes to his house out in the country goes right by the building I work in. I see his truck from a distance and I'm thinking "Dear God PLEASE DO NOT let that be him!!!" Then I see it's him and I say a cuss word out loud i...

lookingup · lookingup

I don't know where to begin with this story it's something I've been holding back on all my life without any help of what to do with it,so I thought sharing my story with you all might help maybe I can get closure with it ,making a long story short ,I as a young child 4 or 5 years old ,there was 2 teenage boys liv...

Ejskoolaide · Ejskoolaide

My AH is currently in a 30 day inpatient rehab. They wont let me talk to him or see him except for 1 family group session after his 22 day. Then tbe following week he gets out. I saw him in the parking lot yesterday talking with other women. He waved at me and i waved back. I am very fearful that he will meet some...

jocelgp · jocelgp

I'm having trouble with acceptance. I cannot accept his rudeness, his sarcasm, I don't think I should be treated this way. I know this is gonna happen, I learned that this is going to be the behavior even when he promises not to drink or if ever he will not be able to keep up with his promise. How can I sur...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Well...not surprisingly, there are nonrecovering alcoholics in my family. I wrote in another thread months ago that I have a medication refusing bipolar active alcoholic first cousin that continues to come around my elderly parents with his hand held out. There is a long history with him. His fath...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Enjoying my peaceful Sunday morning. Wanted to share some progress with you, AH was chatting away, I listened and then went off to do my own thing. It is only now I am sat quietly enjoying a cup of tea I realise that AH was trying to manipulate me into doing something for him that he couldn't be bothered to d...

lookingup · lookingup

hello again my most bestest freinds of alanon hope all is well,I'm been having my neighbors son doing a lot of my yard work which he is good at,lately he has been talking a lot to me about one thing then another he has told me of his pot smoking that he likes doing,and he has found me not judging him of this hab...

e_i_m · e_i_m

I've been thinking about acceptance, acceptable behavior, boundaries, relationships and changing one's circumstances this morning. One of my (very human) character defects is asking "why?" about lots of things. I would love to reach a state of enlightened acceptance where instead of "why?" be...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for September 10 speaks about the destructive negative tool of "denial". It notes that when we first come into program, many of us are so unaware that we use this tool and often don't even realize that there are alcoholics in our lives. Al-Anon presents a safe place to be able to look at...

Zoe197979 · Zoe197979

Update - he came back Sunday full of the same old promises - he was done, he had hit his rock bottom etc etc. Fast forward to Thursday and I get a message - I've had 2 beers and "found" some drugs in my wallet so I had to take it!!! Once again another argument and him saying its al over that was the last time... Wi...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

Hi Everyone, I have been in the program 10 years from 30-40 but I moved to small city at 40 with very few meetings and they are very gossipy so I use phone meetings and have to start over in my Recovery. I am now 54 but started up at least 3-4 phone meetings per week and want to find a sponsor. I realize my EM...

Aerin · Aerin

So my abf finally went to an AA meeting. He said he found some parts interesting but he doesn't think that it will help him long term because he still feels drinking is a choice and he just has to make better choices. Sadly I told him I can no longer see him until he goes for at least 30 days and then we will re-e...

jocelgp · jocelgp

Just the thought of bars, pubs, people who drink, occasions with drinking makes me feel so negative, disgusted, nauseated at the worse. I know this feeling is "abnormal" and effect of my daily living with AH. But somehow I feel I should be able to remove this feeling, let them be, don't mind them. I n...

Ceelee · Ceelee

I think detachment is one of the strongest tools of the program. But I'm not very good at it yet. I've tried but the resentment and anger or pity always seem to show up eventually. My question is, can I detach without love first? Is any form of detachment a beginning or am I just spinning wheels? Thank you...

Detached · Detached

I just want to introduce myself, I have been reading the boards for months but just joined last night. My AH has been actively addicted to opiates/alcohol since he was in his teens. We have been married for 22 years and I have spent that time trying to fix him. I have hit my bottom, and when I found al-anon/...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about the power of meetings, shares and how it all works. Often times, we are in pain and just struggle to spill it out - almost held hostage by our pain and fear. The reading discusses how so very often, another member of our fellowship will open up and share, and it's exactly what we...

el-cee · el-cee

I was listening to AA speakers on you tube and the speaker was talking about how this disease has many aspects to it or many symptoms and while we may deal with denial and the obsession with the drinker in our lives what I hadnt realised was that other things crop up and take the place of the original obses...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

...which means I'm fighting the snoop-bug hard. Mostly because if he is, then we're over. But I have to know for sure. I feel like I am paralyzed and can't act without knowing. I hate this.

Desperateinnyc · Desperateinnyc

I'm sitting here full of so much anger that he's not home yet..he's sitting at the bar, being mr friendly and drunk fun guy, while he knows I've expected him for 2 hours already...and when he does decide to walk in, I will get the angry, mean drunk. No one else has to see that. so because I'm only human, I fin...

Ceelee · Ceelee

Hello! I've been reading this board for awhile but Ive never posted. I started going to Alanon about a year ago. I only went to a few meetings because I wasn't really ready. I am very ready now! I am married to an active alcoholic. I grew up with an addicted mother and younger brother. My mother and brother...

El · El

Hi all! Not one of my better days today > program-wise. I have been doing really well detaching, staying on my side of the street, working on me and my interests, focusing on a closer / more consistent communication with my HP. Today, not so much. For some reason I just couldn't pause before respon...

funandsun · funandsun

Hi everyone, I have been going to several F2F Meetings and am not having any luck acquiring a sponsor. I believe I am doing everything correctly and listen/share at meetings and then politely ask people after the meetings if they are taking on any new sponsees. Everyone who I ask tell me that they unfor...

Helpangel · Helpangel

Hi everyone. I was wondering if boundaries and codependency have to do with when they come in and are in a bad mood or when they are constantly negative. How does everyone have boundaries or handle that. I find I start getting depressed after awhile- the therapist just says ignore it and it's not about m...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about trusting a Higher Power and having faith. I'm starting with the quote - because it is powerful and spot on for me today - "Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore, seek, not to understand that thou mayest believe; but believe that thou mayest understand." --- Aurel...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Yeepers..59 and so fine lol. Going to brunch with boyfriend, bro in law,niece and nephew. First time nephew 21 meets my boyfriend. first birthday away from xah Yeah!

jitsuka · jitsuka

I am feeling low, really low. And p*ssed off. And quite angry - all at the same time. I was day dreaming, well more evening dreaming, as I was sat there, another night on my own - like every night. Watching TV / playing computer games / surfing the internet. I was imagining a free-er life, enjoying a day out...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading gives us a chance to step out of the standard steps and slogans, into the realm of Traditions and personal opportunity within the program. Tradition seven states that groups should be self-supporting...what does that mean?The author, and I myself for a long time, thought of it only...

MidnightOwl · MidnightOwl

Hi all, What a wonderful group, I'm so grateful to be a part of this :) So I've been married to a functional alco for 7 years, and like so many others have run to gamut of trying to cope with/change the situation. I found peace when I learned that none of my tactics had any effect (other then tiring me out), s...

tired of it · tired of it

So, my binge AH is almost done with his latest binge. Tonight he complimented me on how I handled it! In the past I would have done the usual arguing, crying, pleading, hiding and throwing away alcohol. This time I have really focused on detaching, at least trying to. I have not argued and not reacte...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Prayer Under PressureWhenever I find myself under acute tensions,I lengthen my daily walks and slowly repeat our Serenity Prayer in rhythm to my steps and breathing.If I feel that my pain has in part been occasioned by others, I try to repeat, God grant me the serenity to love their best, and never fea...

a4l · a4l

Tonight the ah and I went out with the kids for dinner at a local pub. I don't know if Americans do pubs but basically pubs have full kitchens and bars, its all very casual. Kind of. Some are nicer than others and I've never been to our local, but I didn't feel like cooking and they do 12 dollar steaks on Wedne...

I love my son · I love my son

my first post not sure what's really going on. My adult teenage is in rehab both drugs and alcohol. I have not and will not enable him. His mom does the opposite of me she wants to be his friend and make me look bad. This is just a green light for him to do as he wants even in her house. Does she not care what it's d...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I'm wrestling with a big (to me) issue and writing about it to myself to try to get the scope of things out in the open so that I can hopefully come to some sort of resolution/decision about it. This sentence - Let it go to God and trust in God's will for guidance came off of my fingers and onto the page. I love f...

jocelgp · jocelgp

I've been thru so much lately with my AH and have been working so hard just to keep focus on my self care and serenity. I am trying very hard not to mind my AH, whatever he is doing, planning, or up to; what he thinks of himself and what he plans for himself. I keep on reminding myself to Let Go and Let God, God...

KT2015 · KT2015

Good Morning all. I've been experiencing a lot of anxiety and having difficulty with detachment from AH lately. The anxiety has been intense at times and I have been using the slogan "this too shall pass" when I get too overwhelmed by it. I've been reflecting a lot on why I feel anxious and I think it ha...

deacon · deacon

While our son and his wife are not communicating with us in any way because they are so angry, modern technology is maintaining some contact through a third party. Got news today that both son and his wife are now employed, have rented a house and bought a car of some sort. DIL sounds very happy in what sh...

l8after12 · l8after12

I'm new to this message board, but I have been attending Al-Anon meetings since March. I'm slowly but surely working on my recovery. However, today was hard, and I needed an outlet. Long story short: My BF and I work together. I'm a manager, he isn't. He's not on my team, so there's no conflict of interes...

joker · joker

Things at home continue to progress forward.The abf remains sober. Its a miracle. Yesterday, we worked on cleaning the garage and he found 2 unopened beer and threw the contents out. I was shocked. He says, you want a drink and I said NO, he says its a cold beer, and I said No again. He went and opened it and...

shimo · shimo

Al-Anon meeting in the chat room in approximately 15 minutes. Come along and join us!

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Just got up, AH didn't make it to bed. Came downstairs to find him very drunk in the lounge. Is about 6am. Been drinking all night. In awful state. befuddled and talking in riddles of course. I had a hot drink with him and gently sent him off to bed. I was kind but as best I can tell, was not enabling. He liter...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I have truly been blessed in ways that boggle my mind with friendships and lessons from very powerful women in my life. I'm starting to include men as well .. usually it doesn't fair to well for them .. poor Morty the Mortician .. lol. Sigh .. there was also my barstool cowboy and that is a story in a half...

Aerin · Aerin

One of the main reasons I stay is because I freaking feel sorry for him! I wish I didn't!! It isn't really love that keeps me here. If it was a "friend" in this situation I'd probably walk away until they were really clean. Anytime he binge drinks (right now he hasnt had a drink in 2 weeks, usually its 1 or 2x a...

kadriliisa · kadriliisa

Does anyone here know if Al Anon has particular guidelines how group birthday is celebrated?

Nancy D · Nancy D

I'm in love with a man and have been with him for three years now but he is a binge drinker . When he reaches a certain point with drinking, a change comes over him. He becomes verbally insulting to other people and this invariably turns on me by the end of the night. What really hurts is that he has repeate...

jocelgp · jocelgp

Hi everyone, After being injured from drunkenness, my AH promised he will no longer drink. A promise I reiterated that should be made to himself and not to me. However, he is doing it by himself, he doesn't believe anyone else can help him. Of course the "moods" are still there, and I've read here tha...

jojo8466 · jojo8466

I love music and truly believe that if you listen to a song whose lyrics really hit home it can help you get through whatever situation you are dealing with. With that in mind my song for the day is "Chain of Fools" by the great Aretha Franklin! It so fits the realtionship of being involved with an alcoho...

e_i_m · e_i_m

I had a previously-planned trip this past weekend with an old friend. It came at a great time for me as I'm processing having recently broken up with ABF and reflecting on my choices and behaviors. My friend came into a little windfall and he paid for and planned this whole trip. I surrendered and let him...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the options available to us if there are times, or if in general, it is difficult to attend face to face meetings. I live in a large suburb of a capital city, so there are no shortage of meetings around - my location was never a problem. For me, initially I f...

tucker · tucker

I am mulling over an amends that I think I need to make to my daughter in law. We have never had a good relationship. I have always attempted to be kind and welcoming to her but the truth is that I find her irritating. Loud, self-centered. We are very different personalities and always seem to be at odds wit...

Crau · Crau

I unpacked the final boxes of my new place. I found my journal I kept when my ex and I first broke up close to two years ago now. It was truly a painful time in my life. The words written full of hurt, blame, naievity and hope. As I read each passage, i recognized how far I've come in my journey and how far I stil...

tired of it · tired of it

Has anyone else ever had this crazy thought: maybe I will become an alcoholic so that my AH will finally understand what I have been going through all these years. Crazy and won't happen of course, but I have thought about it!

KMM93 · KMM93

Hi - I've been struggling with an issue and would like to hear others opinions... My A boyfriend is traveling overseas later this week with his very elderly father and 20ish daughter. He is the driver that will travel over some rough terrain and narrow roadways. The family is aware of his past but is no...

Iamhere · Iamhere

So - I went to a wedding yesterday and it was a recovery wedding. It was an outside event and full of fun, laughter, program, fellowship and love. It was different than any other wedding I had been at, and I brought home the program, which had the Apache Marriage Blessing - new to me and gave me cause to pa...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Adapted from a prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr --- Divine, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other. Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time, Accepting h...

CyndiODAT · CyndiODAT

Hi everyone, My best friend of 31 years is an alcoholic. She and I have 'broken' up a few times over the years. The last time we didn't speak for close to two years. In the past three years, I've watched the dysfunction in her family unfold at a rapid rate. Not only are they big partiers, but they had un...

geems · geems

Morning (((Kids)))! The list of what we learn is exciting. Take the first thing they tell us we'll learn. "Not to suffer because of the actions or reactions of other people." The way to learn that will require my participation in and commitment to the program. It's my job to do the learning. My particul...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Sunday morning (Preview) Hello all, had been enjoying a pleasant, calm Sunday morning with AH. Getting along well, me in and enjoying Al-anon mode. Then in an instant, a mood swing happens in him. Quite a surprise, useful wake up call for me to witness just how unwell he is. Turned from pleasant to dark faced and snarling in a se...	Calm Lady	2	432	Sep 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	New here (Preview) Hi I've never been on something like this before but I cant take anymore. My husband has had a drink problem for 15 years however 5 years ago he started adding cocaine to the mix. We have had many arguments which resulted in him walking out on me on Thursday to go to the pub rather than try and work out his mar...	Zoe197979	14	568	Sep 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change Reading 9-11-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for September 11 (a difficult day for me) speaks about working the Fourth Step and making a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. The reading suggests that many times while we are working the Fourth Step, we will uncover hidden destructive attitudes that we did not r...	hotrod	2	435	Sep 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	Trust (Preview) The word we all need and all have lost I assume along the way. I often think about trust and how it can be repaired with some and lost forever with others. does working our own program help in turn for us to accept, forgive and untimely build back trust with our qualifiers? should trust always be rebui...	Crau	8	872	Sep 11, 2016 by Ceelee
	Seriously God??!!!!????!!!! (Preview) UGH!!!!! So I'm driving home from work and here comes ex ABF in his truck! The road that he takes to his house out in the country goes right by the building I work in. I see his truck from a distance and I'm thinking "Dear God PLEASE DO NOT let that be him!!!" Then I see it's him and I say a cuss word out loud i...	jojo8466	28	903	Sep 11, 2016 by lookingup
	Shame,sadness and anger (Preview) I don't know where to begin with this story it's something I've been holding back on all my life without any help of what to do with it,so I thought sharing my story with you all might help maybe I can get closure with it ,making a long story short ,I as a young child 4 or 5 years old ,there was 2 teenage boys liv...	lookingup	20	540	Sep 11, 2016 by lookingup
	Please help...need positive thoughts (Preview) My AH is currently in a 30 day inpatient rehab. They wont let me talk to him or see him except for 1 family group session after his 22 day. Then tbe following week he gets out. I saw him in the parking lot yesterday talking with other women. He waved at me and i waved back. I am very fearful that he will meet some...	Ejskoolaide	10	676	Sep 11, 2016 by Doingmybest
	trouble with acceptance (Preview) I'm having trouble with acceptance. I cannot accept his rudeness, his sarcasm, I don't think I should be treated this way. I know this is gonna happen, I learned that this is going to be the behavior even when he promises not to drink or if ever he will not be able to keep up with his promise. How can I sur...	jocelgp	15	807	Sep 11, 2016 by Doingmybest
	Family Drama (Preview) Well...not surprisingly, there are nonrecovering alcoholics in my family. I wrote in another thread months ago that I have a medication refusing bipolar active alcoholic first cousin that continues to come around my elderly parents with his hand held out. There is a long history with him. His fath...	pinkchip	10	557	Sep 10, 2016 by lookingup
	Hello all (Preview) Enjoying my peaceful Sunday morning. Wanted to share some progress with you, AH was chatting away, I listened and then went off to do my own thing. It is only now I am sat quietly enjoying a cup of tea I realise that AH was trying to manipulate me into doing something for him that he couldn't be bothered to d...	Calm Lady	10	560	Sep 10, 2016 by EGET2009
	Judging (Preview) hello again my most bestest freinds of alanon hope all is well,I'm been having my neighbors son doing a lot of my yard work which he is good at,lately he has been talking a lot to me about one thing then another he has told me of his pot smoking that he likes doing,and he has found me not judging him of this hab...	lookingup	3	474	Sep 10, 2016 by lookingup
	Thoughts on relationships and leaving. (Preview) I've been thinking about acceptance, acceptable behavior, boundaries, relationships and changing one's circumstances this morning. One of my (very human) character defects is asking "why?" about lots of things. I would love to reach a state of enlightened acceptance where instead of "why?" be...	e_i_m	4	543	Sep 10, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change Reading 9-10-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for September 10 speaks about the destructive negative tool of "denial". It notes that when we first come into program, many of us are so unaware that we use this tool and often don't even realize that there are alcoholics in our lives. Al-Anon presents a safe place to be able to look at...	hotrod	2	444	Sep 10, 2016 by Iamhere
	Update (Preview) Update - he came back Sunday full of the same old promises - he was done, he had hit his rock bottom etc etc. Fast forward to Thursday and I get a message - I've had 2 beers and "found" some drugs in my wallet so I had to take it!!! Once again another argument and him saying its al over that was the last time... Wi...	Zoe197979	5	367	Sep 10, 2016 by Jerry F
	Feeling Deep Anger at Alcoholic Father (Preview) Hi Everyone, I have been in the program 10 years from 30-40 but I moved to small city at 40 with very few meetings and they are very gossipy so I use phone meetings and have to start over in my Recovery. I am now 54 but started up at least 3-4 phone meetings per week and want to find a sponsor. I realize my EM...	Charlotte22	2	338	Sep 10, 2016 by e_i_m
	ABF started AA but thinks it will not help (Preview) So my abf finally went to an AA meeting. He said he found some parts interesting but he doesn't think that it will help him long term because he still feels drinking is a choice and he just has to make better choices. Sadly I told him I can no longer see him until he goes for at least 30 days and then we will re-e...	Aerin	12	476	Sep 10, 2016 by Jerry F
	what do i do with my despise for bars, alcohol and people who drink? (Preview) Just the thought of bars, pubs, people who drink, occasions with drinking makes me feel so negative, disgusted, nauseated at the worse. I know this feeling is "abnormal" and effect of my daily living with AH. But somehow I feel I should be able to remove this feeling, let them be, don't mind them. I n...	jocelgp	13	446	Sep 10, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Detachment question? (Preview) I think detachment is one of the strongest tools of the program. But I'm not very good at it yet. I've tried but the resentment and anger or pity always seem to show up eventually. My question is, can I detach without love first? Is any form of detachment a beginning or am I just spinning wheels? Thank you...	Ceelee	12	601	Sep 9, 2016 by MidnightOwl
	Just saying hi and Thank You! (Preview) I just want to introduce myself, I have been reading the boards for months but just joined last night. My AH has been actively addicted to opiates/alcohol since he was in his teens. We have been married for 22 years and I have spent that time trying to fix him. I have hit my bottom, and when I found al-anon/...	Detached	6	342	Sep 9, 2016 by MidnightOwl
	Courage to Change (C2C) 9/9/16 (Preview) Today's reading is about the power of meetings, shares and how it all works. Often times, we are in pain and just struggle to spill it out - almost held hostage by our pain and fear. The reading discusses how so very often, another member of our fellowship will open up and share, and it's exactly what we...	Iamhere	7	534	Sep 9, 2016 by hotrod
	Still sick?? (Preview) I was listening to AA speakers on you tube and the speaker was talking about how this disease has many aspects to it or many symptoms and while we may deal with denial and the obsession with the drinker in our lives what I hadnt realised was that other things crop up and take the place of the original obses...	el-cee	5	401	Sep 9, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Gut is screaming that he's drinking again... (Preview) ...which means I'm fighting the snoop-bug hard. Mostly because if he is, then we're over. But I have to know for sure. I feel like I am paralyzed and can't act without knowing. I hate this.	SpiderArcana	12	489	Sep 9, 2016 by Jazzie18
	Is this wrong? (Preview) I'm sitting here full of so much anger that he's not home yet..he's sitting at the bar, being mr friendly and drunk fun guy, while he knows I've expected him for 2 hours already...and when he does decide to walk in, I will get the angry, mean drunk. No one else has to see that. so because I'm only human, I fin...	Desperateinnyc	9	401	Sep 9, 2016 by Iamhere
	My first post here (Preview) Hello! I've been reading this board for awhile but Ive never posted. I started going to Alanon about a year ago. I only went to a few meetings because I wasn't really ready. I am very ready now! I am married to an active alcoholic. I grew up with an addicted mother and younger brother. My mother and brother...	Ceelee	6	404	Sep 9, 2016 by Ceelee
	Two steps forward and one back (Preview) Hi all! Not one of my better days today > program-wise. I have been doing really well detaching, staying on my side of the street, working on me and my interests, focusing on a closer / more consistent communication with my HP. Today, not so much. For some reason I just couldn't pause before respon...	El	3	349	Sep 9, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Can't get a sponsor! (Preview) Hi everyone, I have been going to several F2F Meetings and am not having any luck acquiring a sponsor. I believe I am doing everything correctly and listen/share at meetings and then politely ask people after the meetings if they are taking on any new sponsees. Everyone who I ask tell me that they unfor...	funandsun	7	502	Sep 9, 2016 by Jerry F
	codependent and what they say boundaries (Preview) Hi everyone. I was wondering if boundaries and codependency have to do with when they come in and are in a bad mood or when they are constantly negative. How does everyone have boundaries or handle that. I find I start getting depressed after awhile- the therapist just says ignore it and it's not about m...	Helpangel	2	1357	Sep 8, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 9/8/16 (Preview) Today's reading is about trusting a Higher Power and having faith. I'm starting with the quote - because it is powerful and spot on for me today - "Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore, seek, not to understand that thou mayest believe; but believe that thou mayest understand." --- Aurel...	Iamhere	5	426	Sep 8, 2016 by lookingup
	iTS MY BIRTHDAY (Preview) Yeepers..59 and so fine lol. Going to brunch with boyfriend, bro in law,niece and nephew. First time nephew 21 meets my boyfriend. first birthday away from xah Yeah!	YARNCRAZY	16	450	Sep 8, 2016 by lookingup
	Imaging a free life (Preview) I am feeling low, really low. And p*ssed off. And quite angry - all at the same time. I was day dreaming, well more evening dreaming, as I was sat there, another night on my own - like every night. Watching TV / playing computer games / surfing the internet. I was imagining a free-er life, enjoying a day out...	jitsuka	7	364	Sep 8, 2016 by Iamhere
	C2C 9-7-16 Tradition Seven (Preview) Today's reading gives us a chance to step out of the standard steps and slogans, into the realm of Traditions and personal opportunity within the program. Tradition seven states that groups should be self-supporting...what does that mean?The author, and I myself for a long time, thought of it only...	Enigmatic	4	398	Sep 8, 2016 by Taraxacum
	Sticking to boundaries can be tiring (Preview) Hi all, What a wonderful group, I'm so grateful to be a part of this :) So I've been married to a functional alco for 7 years, and like so many others have run to gamut of trying to cope with/change the situation. I found peace when I learned that none of my tactics had any effect (other then tiring me out), s...	MidnightOwl	10	539	Sep 8, 2016 by MidnightOwl
	compliment from AH (Preview) So, my binge AH is almost done with his latest binge. Tonight he complimented me on how I handled it! In the past I would have done the usual arguing, crying, pleading, hiding and throwing away alcohol. This time I have really focused on detaching, at least trying to. I have not argued and not reacte...	tired of it	4	373	Sep 8, 2016 by milkwood
	Prayer Under Pressure - From Bill W., 1962 (Preview) Prayer Under PressureWhenever I find myself under acute tensions,I lengthen my daily walks and slowly repeat our Serenity Prayer in rhythm to my steps and breathing.If I feel that my pain has in part been occasioned by others, I try to repeat, God grant me the serenity to love their best, and never fea...	Iamhere	1	294	Sep 8, 2016 by hotrod
	grateful (Preview) Tonight the ah and I went out with the kids for dinner at a local pub. I don't know if Americans do pubs but basically pubs have full kitchens and bars, its all very casual. Kind of. Some are nicer than others and I've never been to our local, but I didn't feel like cooking and they do 12 dollar steaks on Wedne...	a4l	6	344	Sep 8, 2016 by Iamhere
	Is it for real? (Preview) my first post not sure what's really going on. My adult teenage is in rehab both drugs and alcohol. I have not and will not enable him. His mom does the opposite of me she wants to be his friend and make me look bad. This is just a green light for him to do as he wants even in her house. Does she not care what it's d...	I love my son	4	479	Sep 7, 2016 by I love my son
	Let it go to God and trust in God's will for guidance (Preview) I'm wrestling with a big (to me) issue and writing about it to myself to try to get the scope of things out in the open so that I can hopefully come to some sort of resolution/decision about it. This sentence - Let it go to God and trust in God's will for guidance came off of my fingers and onto the page. I love f...	likemyheart	4	490	Sep 7, 2016 by jocelgp
	why is AH seeming to disturb the serenity I am working so hard for myself (Preview) I've been thru so much lately with my AH and have been working so hard just to keep focus on my self care and serenity. I am trying very hard not to mind my AH, whatever he is doing, planning, or up to; what he thinks of himself and what he plans for himself. I keep on reminding myself to Let Go and Let God, God...	jocelgp	17	505	Sep 7, 2016 by jocelgp
	riding the waves of anxiety (Preview) Good Morning all. I've been experiencing a lot of anxiety and having difficulty with detachment from AH lately. The anxiety has been intense at times and I have been using the slogan "this too shall pass" when I get too overwhelmed by it. I've been reflecting a lot on why I feel anxious and I think it ha...	KT2015	8	562	Sep 7, 2016 by Charlotte22
	Chosing to believe (Preview) While our son and his wife are not communicating with us in any way because they are so angry, modern technology is maintaining some contact through a third party. Got news today that both son and his wife are now employed, have rented a house and bought a car of some sort. DIL sounds very happy in what sh...	deacon	2	363	Sep 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	He put me in an impossible position (Preview) I'm new to this message board, but I have been attending Al-Anon meetings since March. I'm slowly but surely working on my recovery. However, today was hard, and I needed an outlet. Long story short: My BF and I work together. I'm a manager, he isn't. He's not on my team, so there's no conflict of interes...	l8after12	6	408	Sep 7, 2016 by tiredtonite
	Continue to remain grateful (Preview) Things at home continue to progress forward.The abf remains sober. Its a miracle. Yesterday, we worked on cleaning the garage and he found 2 unopened beer and threw the contents out. I was shocked. He says, you want a drink and I said NO, he says its a cold beer, and I said No again. He went and opened it and...	joker	5	392	Sep 7, 2016 by jocelgp
	AL-ANON MEETING 9:00 A.M. EST - WEDNESDAY (Preview) Al-Anon meeting in the chat room in approximately 15 minutes. Come along and join us!	shimo	1	215	Sep 7, 2016 by hotrod
	Am I not supposed to mind? (Preview) Just got up, AH didn't make it to bed. Came downstairs to find him very drunk in the lounge. Is about 6am. Been drinking all night. In awful state. befuddled and talking in riddles of course. I had a hot drink with him and gently sent him off to bed. I was kind but as best I can tell, was not enabling. He liter...	Calm Lady	25	613	Sep 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	My beautiful best friend .. (Preview) I have truly been blessed in ways that boggle my mind with friendships and lessons from very powerful women in my life. I'm starting to include men as well .. usually it doesn't fair to well for them .. poor Morty the Mortician .. lol. Sigh .. there was also my barstool cowboy and that is a story in a half...	SerenityRUS	6	445	Sep 7, 2016 by Jerry F
	Now I Feel Sorry For Him! (Preview) One of the main reasons I stay is because I freaking feel sorry for him! I wish I didn't!! It isn't really love that keeps me here. If it was a "friend" in this situation I'd probably walk away until they were really clean. Anytime he binge drinks (right now he hasnt had a drink in 2 weeks, usually its 1 or 2x a...	Aerin	12	553	Sep 6, 2016 by geems
	Guidelines on how to celebrate al anon group birthday? (Preview) Does anyone here know if Al Anon has particular guidelines how group birthday is celebrated?	kadriliisa	2	401	Sep 6, 2016 by kadriliisa
	Hi .I'm new to this chat room and a bit nervous . (Preview) I'm in love with a man and have been with him for three years now but he is a binge drinker . When he reaches a certain point with drinking, a change comes over him. He becomes verbally insulting to other people and this invariably turns on me by the end of the night. What really hurts is that he has repeate...	Nancy D	15	629	Sep 6, 2016 by Aerin
	i'm getting very suspicious, is this healthy? (Preview) Hi everyone, After being injured from drunkenness, my AH promised he will no longer drink. A promise I reiterated that should be made to himself and not to me. However, he is doing it by himself, he doesn't believe anyone else can help him. Of course the "moods" are still there, and I've read here tha...	jocelgp	23	632	Sep 6, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Song for the day.... (Preview) I love music and truly believe that if you listen to a song whose lyrics really hit home it can help you get through whatever situation you are dealing with. With that in mind my song for the day is "Chain of Fools" by the great Aretha Franklin! It so fits the realtionship of being involved with an alcoho...	jojo8466	24	525	Sep 6, 2016 by jojo8466
	Learning weekend (Preview) I had a previously-planned trip this past weekend with an old friend. It came at a great time for me as I'm processing having recently broken up with ABF and reflecting on my choices and behaviors. My friend came into a little windfall and he paid for and planned this whole trip. I surrendered and let him...	e_i_m	2	338	Sep 6, 2016 by el-cee
	Hope for Today Sept 6 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the options available to us if there are times, or if in general, it is difficult to attend face to face meetings. I live in a large suburb of a capital city, so there are no shortage of meetings around - my location was never a problem. For me, initially I f...	yanksfan51	2	275	Sep 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Amends question - I need help and appreciate all feedback (Preview) I am mulling over an amends that I think I need to make to my daughter in law. We have never had a good relationship. I have always attempted to be kind and welcoming to her but the truth is that I find her irritating. Loud, self-centered. We are very different personalities and always seem to be at odds wit...	tucker	8	437	Sep 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	how do you measure your progress? (Preview) I unpacked the final boxes of my new place. I found my journal I kept when my ex and I first broke up close to two years ago now. It was truly a painful time in my life. The words written full of hurt, blame, naievity and hope. As I read each passage, i recognized how far I've come in my journey and how far I stil...	Crau	3	381	Sep 5, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Am I crazy? (Preview) Has anyone else ever had this crazy thought: maybe I will become an alcoholic so that my AH will finally understand what I have been going through all these years. Crazy and won't happen of course, but I have thought about it!	tired of it	8	421	Sep 5, 2016 by tired of it
	Need some guidance/advice; BF travels travel newcomer advice (Preview) Hi - I've been struggling with an issue and would like to hear others opinions... My A boyfriend is traveling overseas later this week with his very elderly father and 20ish daughter. He is the driver that will travel over some rough terrain and narrow roadways. The family is aware of his past but is no...	KMM93	4	4947	Sep 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	Apache Marriage Blessing - From my Wedding Yesterday (Preview) So - I went to a wedding yesterday and it was a recovery wedding. It was an outside event and full of fun, laughter, program, fellowship and love. It was different than any other wedding I had been at, and I brought home the program, which had the Apache Marriage Blessing - new to me and gave me cause to pa...	Iamhere	4	2776	Sep 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	Community Prayer - Also from the Marriage I attended... (Preview) Adapted from a prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr --- Divine, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other. Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time, Accepting h...	Iamhere	1	292	Sep 5, 2016 by hotrod
	"Best Friend" (Preview) Hi everyone, My best friend of 31 years is an alcoholic. She and I have 'broken' up a few times over the years. The last time we didn't speak for close to two years. In the past three years, I've watched the dysfunction in her family unfold at a rapid rate. Not only are they big partiers, but they had un...	CyndiODAT	3	596	Sep 5, 2016 by hotrod
	In Al-Anon We Learn (Preview) Morning (((Kids)))! The list of what we learn is exciting. Take the first thing they tell us we'll learn. "Not to suffer because of the actions or reactions of other people." The way to learn that will require my participation in and commitment to the program. It's my job to do the learning. My particul...	geems	7	429	Sep 5, 2016 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.