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UPDATE
(Preview)
Im still unemployed but waiting now for unemployment to kick in as i caved and decided to get into that red tape nightmare. I have been having a great time with my new guy for 9 mths. Beeen going places and getting treated well. Things have progressed so that we are thinking about moving in together . I hav...
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YARNCRAZY
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6
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641
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Big TV!
(Preview)
Hello all Lovely fresh autumn day here. Got that nice crispness to the air. Just sat quietly enjoying a coffee. Feeling peaceful. Pondering about how things reveal themselves a layer at a time in recovery. So as not to overwhelm us, I suppose. The denial about AH has revealed another layer. I say this i...
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Calm Lady
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14
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751
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Started a relapse yesterday
(Preview)
I am writing to share my gratitude of my self awareness now. I used to blunder along completely unaware of my behaviour and therefore the chaos I was creating for myself. I notice yesterday with AH, we were getting on so great, I slipped back into controlling behaviours. I normally act detached with lo...
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Calm Lady
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7
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611
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I am new to the group. In need of someone to talk to
(Preview)
I am fighting the woman within who has some how allowed herself to keep believing the lies that I tell myself about my fianse. He is a binge drinker. I have been in therapy for almost three years dealing with my fianse. How could I say yes two years ago. I feel like thank God we haven't actually gotten mar...
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Toomuchlove2give
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19
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858
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Are drunk words real thoughts?
(Preview)
last night my ABF who has been drinking, but not getting drunk the past few months, got really wasted. He turned right back into his mean self. He started yelling at me and telling me how fat I've gotten. Then after over 30 minutes of his verbal abuse, he walked away like he was getting really mad and then h...
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madowl86
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10
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905
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Sunday Morning Alanon Meeting in Chatroom 10:30 EST
(Preview)
I will be chairing our Sunday morning meeting shortly. Please join us. TT
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tiredtonite
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1
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464
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Courage To Change 24/9
(Preview)
Today's c2c reflects on the fact that many of us arrive at the doors of al-anon believing our own stories to be larger than life and highly dramatic. It makes the rather apt comparison between thinking our high-drama lives and circumstances are 'blockbusters" when they are really more like home-mov...
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MissM
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8
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596
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Delusions and false realities
(Preview)
I know better than to get worked up about the falsehoods my AH has created about his consumption. No, he didn't drink last week (or the week before) but in reality he was drunk every night last week when I got home. No, he didn't drink a bottle of whiskey and leave the empty bottle in the cupboard but in re...
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Bethany66
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5
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698
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Outsiders Truly Do Not Understand Us!!!
(Preview)
So - last night at softball, we were in need of a few players (conflicts). I asked two gals who are closer in age to me to come out and sub. Imagine a team with 3 women over 50 not only taking the field, but rocking it!!! We had fun, enjoyed the game and it's very flattering to still be able to 'game' as we all...
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Iamhere
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9
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731
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,,,group issues... how they work for me...
(Preview)
Our home town no longer has an Alanon group. I had to give the banners away to another group about a year ago. In the group we were not allowed to read daily readings from 'Hope For Today'. I questioned this one. I did not want to cause disharmony during a group meeting. So I asked for it to be discussed...
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DavidG
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7
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614
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Not normal versus normal
(Preview)
I've have lived in what's not normal most my life,fighting amongst siblings,not speaking to one another for years I came from a 7 sibling household with a loving mother,enabler.and a father,alcoholic everyday drinking drama and chaos became a part of my raising,everyday drama or chaos broke out,...
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lookingup
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7
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657
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Treasurer embezzled
(Preview)
I am needing al anon guidance. I was recently in a committee in al anon to do some research into our groups finances. A fellow member was not getting clear information from the treasurer at our group conscience. Since we did not have time to resolve it a motion was entered to form a committee to researc...
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Iwashere
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20
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1187
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Gossip
(Preview)
I love that alanon is a place where there is no gossip. No going behind each others backs and bitching away about each other for whatever reason. It means we can relax and feel trust here maybe for the first time. Gossip was a big part in my life before but I always had a feeling that it wasn't quite right and...
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el-cee
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17
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1344
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Guilt
(Preview)
My boyfriend's alcoholism is gradually getting worse. Whenever I think about leaving I feel huge guilt. If he had a different illness such as cancer I doubt I'd leave him. However I don't believe he will stop drinking and it will probably kill him. So, I feel it would be much healthier for me to leave. O...
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Emma123
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12
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761
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Tomorrow my BF goes to rehab, I'm really scared..,
(Preview)
This will be the first time he is going, but he has spun out of control last week or so. And while I'm so proud of him for choosing this, I am scared too..I have all these selfish thoughts, what if he decides he doesn't want to be with me when he gets out, whatif he doesn't miss me in there, how do I make this as su...
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Desperateinnyc
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13
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655
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Long lost brother found
(Preview)
I've just had a very heavy load taken off my back concerning a brother ,as some of you here may remember me posting about him ,my brother being missing in Texas ,Dallas .for several months ,we all had given him up for dead or some of my foo had said I was beginning to beleive it myself as painful as it was to ad...
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lookingup
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7
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626
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Feeling so alone
(Preview)
Hello all. Not sure if this is where I am supposed to post all this but here goes... I am new to this site and Al Anon in general. I am very familiar with AA and Al Anon for various reasons which I won't go into now. I guess I just really need to get this all out, because I am so alone right now. My husband (just mar...
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aviva
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6
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701
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Courage to Change (C2C) 9/23/16
(Preview)
Today's reading is one of my favorites. It summarizes for me how I can use the program and be/do differently. It talks about the character defect of responding in kind to bad behavior. When someone confronts me with hostility, my natural response is to respond the same. The program has given me th...
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Iamhere
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4
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588
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Feeling a bit down on myself
(Preview)
Just feeling bit down really. also been drinking a bit above what I should really. I know this has a negative effects on my mood, body, feeling crappy next morning. This is why it's all the more bizarre how As can just get up and operate like nothing has happened the next day! I know I'm not in good healt...
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jitsuka
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9
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959
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My AH is Gone on a Golf Trip!!!
(Preview)
So - my AH told me a few months ago that he was invited on a golf trip with his golf buddies.....I said, Yay - have fun. He wasn't sure he wanted to go and then decided to do so. One guy that he's closest to arranged the entire trip and it was to be the last weekend of the month (next weekend). Well - on Tuesday,...
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Iamhere
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17
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713
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Why can't I say the freaking words.
(Preview)
I haven't physically seen xabf for maybe a couple of months now. Things were seemingly OK between us (I guess) and then he turned up one night drunk and demanding that I live with him again or break up. I thought it ended on 'break up' because he sent me a bunch of nasty messages and then blocked my number, s...
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MissM
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22
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898
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How do I keep my serenity, set boundaries here?
(Preview)
This is something I have experienced in the last few years with my 36 year old unmarried A daughter (she lives 2.5 hours drive away). It has happened so often, that it has become the norm, And yet, I keep having expectations that this time my A will behave "normally". I'm just not sure what to do "inste...
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lgnutah
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5
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642
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The magic of meetings
(Preview)
I just want to testify to the magic that happens in f2f al-anon meetings. My home group meeting was tonight -- the topic was a page in Hope for Today (August 17th) about keeping the focus on ourselves and figuring out who we are. It was a great meeting. We laughed, we cried, we spoke about our fears and cont...
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e_i_m
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6
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610
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I read my wife's 4th step
(Preview)
My wife has been home from rehab for a few weeks. I was clueless to her drug use prior to her getting caught at work. Clueless may be a bit strong. I was clueless about her drug use, but there were signs of addiction, but I just didn't know. When she came home, she told me what Step 4 was at a high level and ask...
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scaredhusband
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4
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643
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Question about getting family member in rehab
(Preview)
I've shared a lot on here but I haven't really shared about my sister. She has had an alcohol abuse problem for at least 6 or 7 years. I haven't mentioned it because we don't live close and it has had very little impact on me personally. Her husband has been really controlling. Despite that fact that he...
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CH_Husband_Dad
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21
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846
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Denial
(Preview)
I am not sure who is in greater denial, me or my AH. I keep hoping against hope that things will get better. He hates AA and went to one Sober Recovery meeting. He has admitted he doesn't want to stop. Tonight I wanted to go to a f2f meeting but can't because he's been drinking and I have no one to watch the kids...
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Hopefully Optimistic
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12
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1171
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Courage to Change (C2C) 9/22/16
(Preview)
Today's reading talks about how the 5th step benefits us in growth, faith and our spiritually journey. So often, the one sharing is concerned and fearful of this step but does find relief in trusting HP, the listening member as well as freedom from the bondage of the kept secrets. Often we don't reali...
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Iamhere
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6
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584
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C2C 9-21-16 Fear
(Preview)
Today's Courage to Change page author describes themselves as a fearful person who developed a dread of change while growing up around alcohol and chaos. The familiarity of the chaos, however, provided an illusion of some control over it.It was in Alanon that the author learned how powerless they a...
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Enigmatic
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14
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754
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Prayers please
(Preview)
Grateful to be back in the arms of my Al-anon home. Loving and feeling and living the program in all my affairs. I have not done the Steps yet. I very much want to. I have asked via prayer that God bring along a Sponsor for me. My home group has about 6 members. Two are men and out of the ladies there, none have a...
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Calm Lady
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14
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623
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Help- I confronted my boyfriend about Heroin and he dumped me, then decided to detox, I don't know what to do.
(Preview)
Me and my boyfriend are both full time students and work a lot, our lives have been stressful. He has always had problems communicating with people and setting boundaries for himself which I think has made his life even more stressful. Last week I went through my his things and found evidence of heroin...
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sdgirl
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5
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3675
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Enabling my AH
(Preview)
I am really trying to work my program. Enabling is very confusing to me and I have alot of trouble with it. I am not sure when I am doing and when I am not. When my AH comes I try not to harass him. Somedays are better than others. I do what I would do if he was not drinking except for the harassing part. Some days...
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Ceelee
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11
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577
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Interpretation of Love is Kind
(Preview)
I'm curious and would like you all's thoughts on the following bible verse - mainly the lines that state "it is not self-seeking" and "it always protects, always trusts". I'm trying to apply this verse to my feelings / thoughts of the relationship I had with the ex ABF but am struggling with those line...
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jojo8466
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27
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1225
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Happy Birthday
(Preview)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JERRY F AND I AM HERE I hope your day is extra special (as you both are) and that you each enjoy every minute. -- Edited by Iamhere on Sunday 31st of January 2021 11:37:30 AM
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hotrod
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19
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843
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to leave or not to leave?
(Preview)
It's been quite a while since I last shared in this forum, but I have always been here reading and reflecting on the shares here. I think just like everyone here we all started so lost, confused, asking, seeking, angry, crying, pitying... and we share one thing in common, our loved one, loved ones, lov...
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jocelgp
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3
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504
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relapse/slip after 9 months
(Preview)
it was a very difficult night and day today . Our daughter was missing for over 24 hours . We filed a police report . I contacted many people in her recovery network to try and find her . She has been sober 9 months as far as I know. She eventually surfaced . Was trying to deflect and deny the truth on the phon...
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serenity47
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6
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606
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Alcoholic Husband with RA
(Preview)
My husband of 11 years is an alcoholic and has Rheumatoid Arthritis. I know alcoholics find all sorts of excuses to drink but this seems legitimate. As much as I hate when he drinks, I get it. He has now quit for the 5 th time (3 days sober) but I know all it takes is one bad day for him to pick up again. Whe...
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timpatico
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2
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501
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Please help. When is enough, enough?
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
Hi,
I'm new to this group, but probably have needed it for years now.
I have been with my partner for six years. He is a binge drinker.
While he doesn't drink in the week, come weekend he drinks to complete excess. Angry, verbally abusive, pisses himself, vomits and blacks outs - every single week...
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Jt0506
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46
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1554
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Arguments with AH
(Preview)
Over the last two days I've had some very confusing arguments with my AH. When I think about it it started after I came home from my meeting and told him that my group had helped me to make amends with my mother. He expressed his frustration that he had listened to me complain about my mother all weekend and...
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KT2015
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18
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747
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Acting out and mind numbing obsessions
(Preview)
I am really at my wits end. My recover(d)...(ing) A partner is driving me crazy!! Simple story, sober A for nearly 9 years, we've been together for three, most of which, no meetings and a horrible dry drunk. In hindsight he was very lucky he didn't drink!! Now re- engaged with AA done his steps again and n...
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Hopeful2112
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5
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599
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Personal Accountability
(Preview)
The person I am today has huge issues with the person I used to be. I behaved in deplorable ways towards others back in the day. The fearless moral inventory may be on the today me and that me won't do it again... but the yesterday me has some apologizing to do and maybe even prison time? My own manipulation...
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geems
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11
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1006
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An AA share
(Preview)
I was fortunate to hear an AA person share at our meeting today. About 10 years sober. One thing that really hit home to me and helped me a lot is how they don't obsess about us. They really don't. They obsess about booze. In many ways we (al-anoners) are irrelevant to them. This was so very helpful for me to...
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Calm Lady
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21
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700
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aversion
(Preview)
I am finding myself a lot simpler as a person which is good. Yet I'm also struggling not to be a judgemental ass. I am utterly averse to those I perceive as intentionally emotionally weak. I always suspect victim routine is a form of manipulation mostly based on direct experiences with masters of it. An...
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a4l
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6
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581
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Realization
(Preview)
I love this board, even if it is just to vent and put into writing the thoughts that are swirling in my head! I'm trying not to make any rash decisions in my recovery, but I feel stuck. I am married to a person who, although he is highly functional, has multiple addictions and no desire to stop. I have detach...
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Detached
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5
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534
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Closing Out the Birthday....Just a bit of Sadness
(Preview)
I learned in Al-Anon to focus on what is working vs. what is not working. As I reflect on my life since coming to the program, things have improved. I am grateful beyond words most of the time. Then, we have those days that society normalizes - birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, etc. I am working m...
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Iamhere
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10
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716
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I am fed up with my daughter
(Preview)
Hi, I am Elizabeth from British Columbia. I am disturbed and worried about my daughter's behaviour and she is almost out of my control. I am badly in need of a suggestion. She was into smoking in the initial stage now she is into smoking and alcohol use too. I have been trying convincing her regarding the...
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eliza098
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2
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574
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Hope for Today Sept 20
(Preview)
Good morning Everyone: Today's reading is about the experience of someone who came to alanon and could only see the differences between herself and all of the others at the meeting. She kept going to meetings, and after some time she began to see that the group was an even playing field. All of them had b...
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yanksfan51
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2
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506
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How do I help my 31 yr. Old Son
(Preview)
I am new here and I am reaching out for help. My Son is 31 yrs old. He has been struggling with addiction for many yrs. He just got out of detox one week ago today. I had to call a ambulance one hour ago because he OD on Fentanyl. I am at my wit's end. He has no where else to go. He came to my home after his last inpati...
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Tired Mom2
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20
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835
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New to Online Forums
(Preview)
Hey, I'm new to using the al anon forum and I don't really understand how to use the forums correctly. Any advise or direction would be great! Thanks and I'm glad to be part of the al anon family forum.
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Jax
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2
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476
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Went to an open AA meeting
(Preview)
I went to an open AA meeting with my AW. It was a nice experience. We have our son in a camp this weekend so I could go. My wife got her 60 day coin which I have to say is the most proud I have been of her. Several people talked about avoiding conflict and how being happy is better than being right. It struck m...
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CH_Husband_Dad
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10
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931
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Issues with my mom
(Preview)
So I often post that my improved relationship with my mom is one of the gifts I have recieved from this program but yesterday and today have been horrible.
Last night I invited her to have dinner with us and she made a very hurtful mean comment her old MO that really bothered me so I told her it hurt. To whic...
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KT2015
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14
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944
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Need Help Letting Go and Letting GOD
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, I have a very unusual situation and i have some shame writing about it but my ex husband has legal troubles and they are very serious and he is set for a trial next Fall. I have a 13 year old son and he was taking care of us financially for 12 years. I am now starting to figure out what to do to make a...
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Charlotte22
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3
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2914
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That small, still voice
(Preview)
I often have a hard time hearing my HP's voice and I pray a lot for the ability to hear it. I want very much to know God's will and to have the power to carry it out. Sometimes I just don't hear anything, and other times, I hear contradictory things. And I don't even know what I want anymore -- I used to have a *ve...
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e_i_m
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5
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2450
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Feeling calm and peaceful and not fighting it
(Preview)
I went to my meeting last night and the topic was Surrender/letting go. It was a great topic and I left in such a peaceful state. So many great shares that I am still thinking about this morning. This morning I feel the presence and peace of my HP more than I ever have before. My morning has been so peace...
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KT2015
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5
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497
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Wife leaving rehab Friday - need help
(Preview)
My wife is leaving rehab on Friday. It seems that she is taking this really seriously and I am cautiously optimistic. Here's our story. She has always been a borderline alcoholic but about 3 years ago she turned a corner for the worse. She started drinking heavily every night. She rarely came to be...
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CH_Husband_Dad
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17
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819
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ODAT 9-19-16
(Preview)
Today's author in One Day at a Time in AlAnon describes a situation where a member, upon hearing about another's difficult situation, supplied the unsolicited opinion: "I just wouldn't put up with it!" From the perspective of the member in the situation, however, they were not passively "puttin...
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Enigmatic
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2
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567
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Wrong again and needing
(Preview)
to follow the input of my HP. 17 years ago one of my recovering AA sisters dropped by my office and asked me to come out to speak with her own sister. I was managing an auto dealership and she was in a jeep parked at the entrance. When I got to the Jeep a body form was on the passenger side slumped against th...
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Jerry F
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6
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638
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Step 2 posted to the Step Work Board
(Preview)
Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 2 has been posted to the Step work BoardHere is the address: http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t62664641/...
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hotrod
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1
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459
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The results of being in the throws of alcoholism...
(Preview)
I pride myself on being a very strong and independent woman. I know what I will tolerate and what I won't. I am also very organized (probably bordering on OCD - LOL). But one alcoholism entered my life (and I wasn't even the alcoholic) I became a weak, needy, vulnerable, reactive, controlling perso...
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jojo8466
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7
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668
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Past relationships
(Preview)
Been doing a lot of thinking since finding this site about my past relationships and why I always end up with an addict. Trying to do a self-inventory of me and my issues. My mother was emotionally and physically abusive to me (slapped across my face more times than I can count) and was constantly told h...
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jojo8466
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7
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576
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Reflections....
(Preview)
Thinking back it was a year ago today that my ex ABF got out of a treatment center (after 9 days - that's all he could afford to pay for) and met me and told me "I've had 3 people in the past week, my counselor and both my sponsors, tell me that in order to focus and be honest about my sobriety I have to end this aff...
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jojo8466
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4
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471
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