Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

aviva · aviva

Hello all. Not sure if this is where I am supposed to post all this but here goes... I am new to this site and Al Anon in general. I am very familiar with AA and Al Anon for various reasons which I won't go into now. I guess I just really need to get this all out, because I am so alone right now. My husband (just mar...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is one of my favorites. It summarizes for me how I can use the program and be/do differently. It talks about the character defect of responding in kind to bad behavior. When someone confronts me with hostility, my natural response is to respond the same. The program has given me th...

jitsuka · jitsuka

Just feeling bit down really. also been drinking a bit above what I should really. I know this has a negative effects on my mood, body, feeling crappy next morning. This is why it's all the more bizarre how As can just get up and operate like nothing has happened the next day! I know I'm not in good healt...

Iamhere · Iamhere

So - my AH told me a few months ago that he was invited on a golf trip with his golf buddies.....I said, Yay - have fun. He wasn't sure he wanted to go and then decided to do so. One guy that he's closest to arranged the entire trip and it was to be the last weekend of the month (next weekend). Well - on Tuesday,...

MissM · MissM

I haven't physically seen xabf for maybe a couple of months now. Things were seemingly OK between us (I guess) and then he turned up one night drunk and demanding that I live with him again or break up. I thought it ended on 'break up' because he sent me a bunch of nasty messages and then blocked my number, s...

lgnutah · lgnutah

This is something I have experienced in the last few years with my 36 year old unmarried A daughter (she lives 2.5 hours drive away). It has happened so often, that it has become the norm, And yet, I keep having expectations that this time my A will behave "normally". I'm just not sure what to do "inste...

e_i_m · e_i_m

I just want to testify to the magic that happens in f2f al-anon meetings. My home group meeting was tonight -- the topic was a page in Hope for Today (August 17th) about keeping the focus on ourselves and figuring out who we are. It was a great meeting. We laughed, we cried, we spoke about our fears and cont...

scaredhusband · scaredhusband

My wife has been home from rehab for a few weeks. I was clueless to her drug use prior to her getting caught at work. Clueless may be a bit strong. I was clueless about her drug use, but there were signs of addiction, but I just didn't know. When she came home, she told me what Step 4 was at a high level and ask...

CH_Husband_Dad · CH_Husband_Dad

I've shared a lot on here but I haven't really shared about my sister. She has had an alcohol abuse problem for at least 6 or 7 years. I haven't mentioned it because we don't live close and it has had very little impact on me personally. Her husband has been really controlling. Despite that fact that he...

Hopefully Optimistic · Hopefully Optimistic

I am not sure who is in greater denial, me or my AH. I keep hoping against hope that things will get better. He hates AA and went to one Sober Recovery meeting. He has admitted he doesn't want to stop. Tonight I wanted to go to a f2f meeting but can't because he's been drinking and I have no one to watch the kids...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about how the 5th step benefits us in growth, faith and our spiritually journey. So often, the one sharing is concerned and fearful of this step but does find relief in trusting HP, the listening member as well as freedom from the bondage of the kept secrets. Often we don't reali...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's Courage to Change page author describes themselves as a fearful person who developed a dread of change while growing up around alcohol and chaos. The familiarity of the chaos, however, provided an illusion of some control over it.It was in Alanon that the author learned how powerless they a...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Grateful to be back in the arms of my Al-anon home. Loving and feeling and living the program in all my affairs. I have not done the Steps yet. I very much want to. I have asked via prayer that God bring along a Sponsor for me. My home group has about 6 members. Two are men and out of the ladies there, none have a...

sdgirl · sdgirl

Me and my boyfriend are both full time students and work a lot, our lives have been stressful. He has always had problems communicating with people and setting boundaries for himself which I think has made his life even more stressful. Last week I went through my his things and found evidence of heroin...

Ceelee · Ceelee

I am really trying to work my program. Enabling is very confusing to me and I have alot of trouble with it. I am not sure when I am doing and when I am not. When my AH comes I try not to harass him. Somedays are better than others. I do what I would do if he was not drinking except for the harassing part. Some days...

jojo8466 · jojo8466

I'm curious and would like you all's thoughts on the following bible verse - mainly the lines that state "it is not self-seeking" and "it always protects, always trusts". I'm trying to apply this verse to my feelings / thoughts of the relationship I had with the ex ABF but am struggling with those line...

hotrod · hotrod

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JERRY F AND I AM HERE I hope your day is extra special (as you both are) and that you each enjoy every minute. -- Edited by Iamhere on Sunday 31st of January 2021 11:37:30 AM

jocelgp · jocelgp

It's been quite a while since I last shared in this forum, but I have always been here reading and reflecting on the shares here. I think just like everyone here we all started so lost, confused, asking, seeking, angry, crying, pitying... and we share one thing in common, our loved one, loved ones, lov...

serenity47 · serenity47

it was a very difficult night and day today . Our daughter was missing for over 24 hours . We filed a police report . I contacted many people in her recovery network to try and find her . She has been sober 9 months as far as I know. She eventually surfaced . Was trying to deflect and deny the truth on the phon...

timpatico · timpatico

My husband of 11 years is an alcoholic and has Rheumatoid Arthritis. I know alcoholics find all sorts of excuses to drink but this seems legitimate. As much as I hate when he drinks, I get it. He has now quit for the 5 th time (3 days sober) but I know all it takes is one bad day for him to pick up again. Whe...

Jt0506 · Jt0506

Hi, I'm new to this group, but probably have needed it for years now. I have been with my partner for six years. He is a binge drinker. While he doesn't drink in the week, come weekend he drinks to complete excess. Angry, verbally abusive, pisses himself, vomits and blacks outs - every single week...

KT2015 · KT2015

Over the last two days I've had some very confusing arguments with my AH. When I think about it it started after I came home from my meeting and told him that my group had helped me to make amends with my mother. He expressed his frustration that he had listened to me complain about my mother all weekend and...

Hopeful2112 · Hopeful2112

I am really at my wits end. My recover(d)...(ing) A partner is driving me crazy!! Simple story, sober A for nearly 9 years, we've been together for three, most of which, no meetings and a horrible dry drunk. In hindsight he was very lucky he didn't drink!! Now re- engaged with AA done his steps again and n...

geems · geems

The person I am today has huge issues with the person I used to be. I behaved in deplorable ways towards others back in the day. The fearless moral inventory may be on the today me and that me won't do it again... but the yesterday me has some apologizing to do and maybe even prison time? My own manipulation...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

I was fortunate to hear an AA person share at our meeting today. About 10 years sober. One thing that really hit home to me and helped me a lot is how they don't obsess about us. They really don't. They obsess about booze. In many ways we (al-anoners) are irrelevant to them. This was so very helpful for me to...

a4l · a4l

I am finding myself a lot simpler as a person which is good. Yet I'm also struggling not to be a judgemental ass. I am utterly averse to those I perceive as intentionally emotionally weak. I always suspect victim routine is a form of manipulation mostly based on direct experiences with masters of it. An...

Detached · Detached

I love this board, even if it is just to vent and put into writing the thoughts that are swirling in my head! I'm trying not to make any rash decisions in my recovery, but I feel stuck. I am married to a person who, although he is highly functional, has multiple addictions and no desire to stop. I have detach...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I learned in Al-Anon to focus on what is working vs. what is not working. As I reflect on my life since coming to the program, things have improved. I am grateful beyond words most of the time. Then, we have those days that society normalizes - birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, etc. I am working m...

eliza098 · eliza098

Hi, I am Elizabeth from British Columbia. I am disturbed and worried about my daughter's behaviour and she is almost out of my control. I am badly in need of a suggestion. She was into smoking in the initial stage now she is into smoking and alcohol use too. I have been trying convincing her regarding the...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone: Today's reading is about the experience of someone who came to alanon and could only see the differences between herself and all of the others at the meeting. She kept going to meetings, and after some time she began to see that the group was an even playing field. All of them had b...

Tired Mom2 · Tired Mom2

I am new here and I am reaching out for help. My Son is 31 yrs old. He has been struggling with addiction for many yrs. He just got out of detox one week ago today. I had to call a ambulance one hour ago because he OD on Fentanyl. I am at my wit's end. He has no where else to go. He came to my home after his last inpati...

Jax · Jax

Hey, I'm new to using the al anon forum and I don't really understand how to use the forums correctly. Any advise or direction would be great! Thanks and I'm glad to be part of the al anon family forum.

CH_Husband_Dad · CH_Husband_Dad

I went to an open AA meeting with my AW. It was a nice experience. We have our son in a camp this weekend so I could go. My wife got her 60 day coin which I have to say is the most proud I have been of her. Several people talked about avoiding conflict and how being happy is better than being right. It struck m...

KT2015 · KT2015

So I often post that my improved relationship with my mom is one of the gifts I have recieved from this program but yesterday and today have been horrible. Last night I invited her to have dinner with us and she made a very hurtful mean comment her old MO that really bothered me so I told her it hurt. To whic...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

Hi Everyone, I have a very unusual situation and i have some shame writing about it but my ex husband has legal troubles and they are very serious and he is set for a trial next Fall. I have a 13 year old son and he was taking care of us financially for 12 years. I am now starting to figure out what to do to make a...

e_i_m · e_i_m

I often have a hard time hearing my HP's voice and I pray a lot for the ability to hear it. I want very much to know God's will and to have the power to carry it out. Sometimes I just don't hear anything, and other times, I hear contradictory things. And I don't even know what I want anymore -- I used to have a *ve...

KT2015 · KT2015

I went to my meeting last night and the topic was Surrender/letting go. It was a great topic and I left in such a peaceful state. So many great shares that I am still thinking about this morning. This morning I feel the presence and peace of my HP more than I ever have before. My morning has been so peace...

CH_Husband_Dad · CH_Husband_Dad

My wife is leaving rehab on Friday. It seems that she is taking this really seriously and I am cautiously optimistic. Here's our story. She has always been a borderline alcoholic but about 3 years ago she turned a corner for the worse. She started drinking heavily every night. She rarely came to be...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's author in One Day at a Time in AlAnon describes a situation where a member, upon hearing about another's difficult situation, supplied the unsolicited opinion: "I just wouldn't put up with it!" From the perspective of the member in the situation, however, they were not passively "puttin...

Jerry F · Jerry F

to follow the input of my HP. 17 years ago one of my recovering AA sisters dropped by my office and asked me to come out to speak with her own sister. I was managing an auto dealership and she was in a jeep parked at the entrance. When I got to the Jeep a body form was on the passenger side slumped against th...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 2 has been posted to the Step work BoardHere is the address: http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t62664641/...

jojo8466 · jojo8466

I pride myself on being a very strong and independent woman. I know what I will tolerate and what I won't. I am also very organized (probably bordering on OCD - LOL). But one alcoholism entered my life (and I wasn't even the alcoholic) I became a weak, needy, vulnerable, reactive, controlling perso...

jojo8466 · jojo8466

Been doing a lot of thinking since finding this site about my past relationships and why I always end up with an addict. Trying to do a self-inventory of me and my issues. My mother was emotionally and physically abusive to me (slapped across my face more times than I can count) and was constantly told h...

jojo8466 · jojo8466

Thinking back it was a year ago today that my ex ABF got out of a treatment center (after 9 days - that's all he could afford to pay for) and met me and told me "I've had 3 people in the past week, my counselor and both my sponsors, tell me that in order to focus and be honest about my sobriety I have to end this aff...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for September 18 speaks about the Al-Anon program taking time and that it is progress not perfection that we seek. Time offers evidence that teh Al-Anon program works because we can see the growth in our lives and the lives of other members . When we take the time to reflect, we will see t...

sunshine80 · sunshine80

I have been with my SI for over a year now and I didn't really notice his alcohol problems until his mother passed away last October. At that time, he seemed to lose control over his entire world, he lost his job, his apartment, his health went down hill, and we broke up for about a month. He ended up movin...

Iamhere · Iamhere

This past Wednesday, my F2F Al-Anon group had a pot luck. It's always a great time and we end up with more folks than typical - so the more the merrier. I have been the one who suggests them and have no problem putting together a sign-up sheet and sending out reminders - it's an easy process for me and I hav...

Ceelee · Ceelee

Just for today, this day only, I will leave my AH alone. I will not ask him if he has been drinking or where he has been. Just for today, this day only, I will not judge anyone, even myself. Just for today, this day only, I will not react in haste and anger. I will think first. Just for today, this day only, I wi...

MidnightOwl · MidnightOwl

Hi all, So I'm fairly triggered atm and don't really have anyone I can call. My AH has been gone for 2 mos of job training in another state and was supposed to fly home tonight. He made it to his layover, with about an hour layover...actually 90 mins I think. Somehow he managed to miss his connection, said...

Ann_M_Y · Ann_M_Y

This is my first time using this board or even considering an Al-Anon support group. My Husband is an alcoholic. I have been dealing with his drinking off and on for 14 years. He has had sober periods. One even lasted three years. (it was bliss). He just got out of an alcohol detox 10 days and starting drin...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Please join us for an Alanon 10 AM meeting in the MIP chatroom. :) TT

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for September 17 speaks about our need to belong and to fit in. This need helps us to get along with others and be part of society. However,in attempting to fit in sometimes we tend to people please and abandon ourselves. People pleasing takes a destructive form when we ignore our ow...

Emma123 · Emma123

My alcoholic partner seems to also have a sex addiction. When he's drinking he wants sex all the time. In conversation with anyone he starts talking about it, even when its completely inappropriate. People get embarrassed and uncomfortable. Its very awkward. When he's sober he has very little inte...

MVaslovik · MVaslovik

I was fortunate to finally separate myself from an alcoholic after six years. I became his live-in caregiver having no other options at the time, but as time went on I gained options, ironically because of his own forceful manipulation and pressure on me. He wanted me to get an outside job while also b...

jocelgp · jocelgp

Last night my husband expressed how very hard it is for him, most of his friends are drinking buddies. I could feel his agony of the thought of losing this set of friends. It's as if it's everything to him, he has a very poor family (origin) support system. I know that what worries him most is losing his...

Crau · Crau

We share our stories with others to help gain perspective. I remember when my friends husband went to treatment and she started telling me what her life was like. I was in shock, she was sharing my story. I remember being envious that her husband got to go to treatment and my ex was causing chaos whereeve...

2HP · 2HP

Trying to control had always been my response to fear, distrust, panic, feeling overwhelmed, and feelings of helplessness. I did not trust in the Higher Power, the universe or the process of life. Instead of trusting, I tried to control everything because I desperately wanted to feel more sec...

CH_Husband_Dad · CH_Husband_Dad

I know I have an issue with pride. I think about the times my AW had inappropriate relationships with a coworker and I think about all of those holiday parties and work events and how others must have been snickering about what they knew that I didn't know. I don't even know if that is true or not. I think...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning all....Happy Friday to you where ever you maybe! Today's reading continues on with trusting a power greater than ourselves. The reading begins by discussing how our most negative thoughts in the face of all we deal with appear as truth. These negative thoughts plead the worst case sc...

burr1017 · burr1017

With the encouragement and support of some good friends, I attended my first Al Anon meeting last night. I felt the speaker's topic, Communication, was helpful to me, as frequently I have a difficult time with that; communication not only with others, but also with myself. But the rest of the meeting...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Feeling so alone (Preview) Hello all. Not sure if this is where I am supposed to post all this but here goes... I am new to this site and Al Anon in general. I am very familiar with AA and Al Anon for various reasons which I won't go into now. I guess I just really need to get this all out, because I am so alone right now. My husband (just mar...	aviva	6	666	Sep 23, 2016 by Mattie
	Courage to Change (C2C) 9/23/16 (Preview) Today's reading is one of my favorites. It summarizes for me how I can use the program and be/do differently. It talks about the character defect of responding in kind to bad behavior. When someone confronts me with hostility, my natural response is to respond the same. The program has given me th...	Iamhere	4	550	Sep 23, 2016 by hotrod
	Feeling a bit down on myself (Preview) Just feeling bit down really. also been drinking a bit above what I should really. I know this has a negative effects on my mood, body, feeling crappy next morning. This is why it's all the more bizarre how As can just get up and operate like nothing has happened the next day! I know I'm not in good healt...	jitsuka	9	905	Sep 23, 2016 by jitsuka
	My AH is Gone on a Golf Trip!!! (Preview) So - my AH told me a few months ago that he was invited on a golf trip with his golf buddies.....I said, Yay - have fun. He wasn't sure he wanted to go and then decided to do so. One guy that he's closest to arranged the entire trip and it was to be the last weekend of the month (next weekend). Well - on Tuesday,...	Iamhere	17	667	Sep 23, 2016 by Iamhere
	Why can't I say the freaking words. (Preview) I haven't physically seen xabf for maybe a couple of months now. Things were seemingly OK between us (I guess) and then he turned up one night drunk and demanding that I live with him again or break up. I thought it ended on 'break up' because he sent me a bunch of nasty messages and then blocked my number, s...	MissM	22	853	Sep 23, 2016 by 2HP
	How do I keep my serenity, set boundaries here? (Preview) This is something I have experienced in the last few years with my 36 year old unmarried A daughter (she lives 2.5 hours drive away). It has happened so often, that it has become the norm, And yet, I keep having expectations that this time my A will behave "normally". I'm just not sure what to do "inste...	lgnutah	5	605	Sep 23, 2016 by Calm Lady
	The magic of meetings (Preview) I just want to testify to the magic that happens in f2f al-anon meetings. My home group meeting was tonight -- the topic was a page in Hope for Today (August 17th) about keeping the focus on ourselves and figuring out who we are. It was a great meeting. We laughed, we cried, we spoke about our fears and cont...	e_i_m	6	573	Sep 23, 2016 by el-cee
	I read my wife's 4th step (Preview) My wife has been home from rehab for a few weeks. I was clueless to her drug use prior to her getting caught at work. Clueless may be a bit strong. I was clueless about her drug use, but there were signs of addiction, but I just didn't know. When she came home, she told me what Step 4 was at a high level and ask...	scaredhusband	4	607	Sep 22, 2016 by a4l
	Question about getting family member in rehab (Preview) I've shared a lot on here but I haven't really shared about my sister. She has had an alcohol abuse problem for at least 6 or 7 years. I haven't mentioned it because we don't live close and it has had very little impact on me personally. Her husband has been really controlling. Despite that fact that he...	CH_Husband_Dad	21	791	Sep 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	Denial (Preview) I am not sure who is in greater denial, me or my AH. I keep hoping against hope that things will get better. He hates AA and went to one Sober Recovery meeting. He has admitted he doesn't want to stop. Tonight I wanted to go to a f2f meeting but can't because he's been drinking and I have no one to watch the kids...	Hopefully Optimistic	12	1090	Sep 22, 2016 by Fairlee
	Courage to Change (C2C) 9/22/16 (Preview) Today's reading talks about how the 5th step benefits us in growth, faith and our spiritually journey. So often, the one sharing is concerned and fearful of this step but does find relief in trusting HP, the listening member as well as freedom from the bondage of the kept secrets. Often we don't reali...	Iamhere	6	545	Sep 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	C2C 9-21-16 Fear (Preview) Today's Courage to Change page author describes themselves as a fearful person who developed a dread of change while growing up around alcohol and chaos. The familiarity of the chaos, however, provided an illusion of some control over it.It was in Alanon that the author learned how powerless they a...	Enigmatic	14	698	Sep 22, 2016 by serenity47
	Prayers please (Preview) Grateful to be back in the arms of my Al-anon home. Loving and feeling and living the program in all my affairs. I have not done the Steps yet. I very much want to. I have asked via prayer that God bring along a Sponsor for me. My home group has about 6 members. Two are men and out of the ladies there, none have a...	Calm Lady	14	583	Sep 22, 2016 by el-cee
	Help- I confronted my boyfriend about Heroin and he dumped me, then decided to detox, I don't know what to do. heroin drug use boyfriend dumped break up detox scared unsure help alone (Preview) Me and my boyfriend are both full time students and work a lot, our lives have been stressful. He has always had problems communicating with people and setting boundaries for himself which I think has made his life even more stressful. Last week I went through my his things and found evidence of heroin...	sdgirl	5	3458	Sep 22, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Enabling my AH (Preview) I am really trying to work my program. Enabling is very confusing to me and I have alot of trouble with it. I am not sure when I am doing and when I am not. When my AH comes I try not to harass him. Somedays are better than others. I do what I would do if he was not drinking except for the harassing part. Some days...	Ceelee	11	535	Sep 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	Interpretation of Love is Kind (Preview) I'm curious and would like you all's thoughts on the following bible verse - mainly the lines that state "it is not self-seeking" and "it always protects, always trusts". I'm trying to apply this verse to my feelings / thoughts of the relationship I had with the ex ABF but am struggling with those line...	jojo8466	27	1158	Sep 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	Happy Birthday (Preview) HAPPY BIRTHDAY JERRY F AND I AM HERE I hope your day is extra special (as you both are) and that you each enjoy every minute. -- Edited by Iamhere on Sunday 31st of January 2021 11:37:30 AM	hotrod	19	774	Sep 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	to leave or not to leave? (Preview) It's been quite a while since I last shared in this forum, but I have always been here reading and reflecting on the shares here. I think just like everyone here we all started so lost, confused, asking, seeking, angry, crying, pitying... and we share one thing in common, our loved one, loved ones, lov...	jocelgp	3	464	Sep 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	relapse/slip after 9 months (Preview) it was a very difficult night and day today . Our daughter was missing for over 24 hours . We filed a police report . I contacted many people in her recovery network to try and find her . She has been sober 9 months as far as I know. She eventually surfaced . Was trying to deflect and deny the truth on the phon...	serenity47	6	570	Sep 22, 2016 by serenity47
	Alcoholic Husband with RA (Preview) My husband of 11 years is an alcoholic and has Rheumatoid Arthritis. I know alcoholics find all sorts of excuses to drink but this seems legitimate. As much as I hate when he drinks, I get it. He has now quit for the 5 th time (3 days sober) but I know all it takes is one bad day for him to pick up again. Whe...	timpatico	2	460	Sep 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	Please help. When is enough, enough? ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Hi, I'm new to this group, but probably have needed it for years now. I have been with my partner for six years. He is a binge drinker. While he doesn't drink in the week, come weekend he drinks to complete excess. Angry, verbally abusive, pisses himself, vomits and blacks outs - every single week...	Jt0506	46	1471	Sep 21, 2016 by tired of it
	Arguments with AH (Preview) Over the last two days I've had some very confusing arguments with my AH. When I think about it it started after I came home from my meeting and told him that my group had helped me to make amends with my mother. He expressed his frustration that he had listened to me complain about my mother all weekend and...	KT2015	18	703	Sep 21, 2016 by El
	Acting out and mind numbing obsessions (Preview) I am really at my wits end. My recover(d)...(ing) A partner is driving me crazy!! Simple story, sober A for nearly 9 years, we've been together for three, most of which, no meetings and a horrible dry drunk. In hindsight he was very lucky he didn't drink!! Now re- engaged with AA done his steps again and n...	Hopeful2112	5	556	Sep 21, 2016 by Iamhere
	Personal Accountability (Preview) The person I am today has huge issues with the person I used to be. I behaved in deplorable ways towards others back in the day. The fearless moral inventory may be on the today me and that me won't do it again... but the yesterday me has some apologizing to do and maybe even prison time? My own manipulation...	geems	11	955	Sep 21, 2016 by MissM
	An AA share (Preview) I was fortunate to hear an AA person share at our meeting today. About 10 years sober. One thing that really hit home to me and helped me a lot is how they don't obsess about us. They really don't. They obsess about booze. In many ways we (al-anoners) are irrelevant to them. This was so very helpful for me to...	Calm Lady	21	662	Sep 21, 2016 by hotrod
	aversion (Preview) I am finding myself a lot simpler as a person which is good. Yet I'm also struggling not to be a judgemental ass. I am utterly averse to those I perceive as intentionally emotionally weak. I always suspect victim routine is a form of manipulation mostly based on direct experiences with masters of it. An...	a4l	6	538	Sep 21, 2016 by el-cee
	Realization (Preview) I love this board, even if it is just to vent and put into writing the thoughts that are swirling in my head! I'm trying not to make any rash decisions in my recovery, but I feel stuck. I am married to a person who, although he is highly functional, has multiple addictions and no desire to stop. I have detach...	Detached	5	494	Sep 20, 2016 by deacon
	Closing Out the Birthday....Just a bit of Sadness (Preview) I learned in Al-Anon to focus on what is working vs. what is not working. As I reflect on my life since coming to the program, things have improved. I am grateful beyond words most of the time. Then, we have those days that society normalizes - birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, etc. I am working m...	Iamhere	10	676	Sep 20, 2016 by geems
	I am fed up with my daughter (Preview) Hi, I am Elizabeth from British Columbia. I am disturbed and worried about my daughter's behaviour and she is almost out of my control. I am badly in need of a suggestion. She was into smoking in the initial stage now she is into smoking and alcohol use too. I have been trying convincing her regarding the...	eliza098	2	538	Sep 20, 2016 by Mattie
	Hope for Today Sept 20 (Preview) Good morning Everyone: Today's reading is about the experience of someone who came to alanon and could only see the differences between herself and all of the others at the meeting. She kept going to meetings, and after some time she began to see that the group was an even playing field. All of them had b...	yanksfan51	2	471	Sep 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	How do I help my 31 yr. Old Son (Preview) I am new here and I am reaching out for help. My Son is 31 yrs old. He has been struggling with addiction for many yrs. He just got out of detox one week ago today. I had to call a ambulance one hour ago because he OD on Fentanyl. I am at my wit's end. He has no where else to go. He came to my home after his last inpati...	Tired Mom2	20	801	Sep 20, 2016 by eliza098
	New to Online Forums (Preview) Hey, I'm new to using the al anon forum and I don't really understand how to use the forums correctly. Any advise or direction would be great! Thanks and I'm glad to be part of the al anon family forum.	Jax	2	435	Sep 19, 2016 by hotrod
	Went to an open AA meeting (Preview) I went to an open AA meeting with my AW. It was a nice experience. We have our son in a camp this weekend so I could go. My wife got her 60 day coin which I have to say is the most proud I have been of her. Several people talked about avoiding conflict and how being happy is better than being right. It struck m...	CH_Husband_Dad	10	890	Sep 19, 2016 by CH_Husband_Dad
	Issues with my mom (Preview) So I often post that my improved relationship with my mom is one of the gifts I have recieved from this program but yesterday and today have been horrible. Last night I invited her to have dinner with us and she made a very hurtful mean comment her old MO that really bothered me so I told her it hurt. To whic...	KT2015	14	902	Sep 19, 2016 by KT2015
	Need Help Letting Go and Letting GOD (Preview) Hi Everyone, I have a very unusual situation and i have some shame writing about it but my ex husband has legal troubles and they are very serious and he is set for a trial next Fall. I have a 13 year old son and he was taking care of us financially for 12 years. I am now starting to figure out what to do to make a...	Charlotte22	3	2763	Sep 19, 2016 by e_i_m
	That small, still voice (Preview) I often have a hard time hearing my HP's voice and I pray a lot for the ability to hear it. I want very much to know God's will and to have the power to carry it out. Sometimes I just don't hear anything, and other times, I hear contradictory things. And I don't even know what I want anymore -- I used to have a *ve...	e_i_m	5	2339	Sep 19, 2016 by hope for the hopeless
	Feeling calm and peaceful and not fighting it (Preview) I went to my meeting last night and the topic was Surrender/letting go. It was a great topic and I left in such a peaceful state. So many great shares that I am still thinking about this morning. This morning I feel the presence and peace of my HP more than I ever have before. My morning has been so peace...	KT2015	5	453	Sep 19, 2016 by El
	Wife leaving rehab Friday - need help (Preview) My wife is leaving rehab on Friday. It seems that she is taking this really seriously and I am cautiously optimistic. Here's our story. She has always been a borderline alcoholic but about 3 years ago she turned a corner for the worse. She started drinking heavily every night. She rarely came to be...	CH_Husband_Dad	17	785	Sep 19, 2016 by hotrod
	ODAT 9-19-16 (Preview) Today's author in One Day at a Time in AlAnon describes a situation where a member, upon hearing about another's difficult situation, supplied the unsolicited opinion: "I just wouldn't put up with it!" From the perspective of the member in the situation, however, they were not passively "puttin...	Enigmatic	2	532	Sep 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	Wrong again and needing (Preview) to follow the input of my HP. 17 years ago one of my recovering AA sisters dropped by my office and asked me to come out to speak with her own sister. I was managing an auto dealership and she was in a jeep parked at the entrance. When I got to the Jeep a body form was on the passenger side slumped against th...	Jerry F	6	602	Sep 19, 2016 by KT2015
	Step 2 posted to the Step Work Board (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 2 has been posted to the Step work BoardHere is the address: http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t62664641/...	hotrod	1	422	Sep 18, 2016 by Iamhere
	The results of being in the throws of alcoholism... (Preview) I pride myself on being a very strong and independent woman. I know what I will tolerate and what I won't. I am also very organized (probably bordering on OCD - LOL). But one alcoholism entered my life (and I wasn't even the alcoholic) I became a weak, needy, vulnerable, reactive, controlling perso...	jojo8466	7	625	Sep 18, 2016 by Jt0506
	Past relationships (Preview) Been doing a lot of thinking since finding this site about my past relationships and why I always end up with an addict. Trying to do a self-inventory of me and my issues. My mother was emotionally and physically abusive to me (slapped across my face more times than I can count) and was constantly told h...	jojo8466	7	533	Sep 18, 2016 by jojo8466
	Reflections.... (Preview) Thinking back it was a year ago today that my ex ABF got out of a treatment center (after 9 days - that's all he could afford to pay for) and met me and told me "I've had 3 people in the past week, my counselor and both my sponsors, tell me that in order to focus and be honest about my sobriety I have to end this aff...	jojo8466	4	427	Sep 18, 2016 by jojo8466
	Courage to Change Reading 9-18-2016 (Preview) C2C reading for September 18 speaks about the Al-Anon program taking time and that it is progress not perfection that we seek. Time offers evidence that teh Al-Anon program works because we can see the growth in our lives and the lives of other members . When we take the time to reflect, we will see t...	hotrod	2	885	Sep 18, 2016 by Enigmatic
	New Here (Preview) I have been with my SI for over a year now and I didn't really notice his alcohol problems until his mother passed away last October. At that time, he seemed to lose control over his entire world, he lost his job, his apartment, his health went down hill, and we broke up for about a month. He ended up movin...	sunshine80	4	655	Sep 18, 2016 by Jt0506
	How It Works - for me - Just for Today (Preview) This past Wednesday, my F2F Al-Anon group had a pot luck. It's always a great time and we end up with more folks than typical - so the more the merrier. I have been the one who suggests them and have no problem putting together a sign-up sheet and sending out reminders - it's an easy process for me and I hav...	Iamhere	10	1424	Sep 17, 2016 by Mirandac
	Just for today Alanon CAl Bookmark (Preview) Just for today, this day only, I will leave my AH alone. I will not ask him if he has been drinking or where he has been. Just for today, this day only, I will not judge anyone, even myself. Just for today, this day only, I will not react in haste and anger. I will think first. Just for today, this day only, I wi...	Ceelee	4	618	Sep 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	Missed flights (Preview) Hi all, So I'm fairly triggered atm and don't really have anyone I can call. My AH has been gone for 2 mos of job training in another state and was supposed to fly home tonight. He made it to his layover, with about an hour layover...actually 90 mins I think. Somehow he managed to miss his connection, said...	MidnightOwl	14	771	Sep 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	I dont even know where to begin (Preview) This is my first time using this board or even considering an Al-Anon support group. My Husband is an alcoholic. I have been dealing with his drinking off and on for 14 years. He has had sober periods. One even lasted three years. (it was bliss). He just got out of an alcohol detox 10 days and starting drin...	Ann_M_Y	9	831	Sep 17, 2016 by 2HP
	Chairing Saturday Morning Alanon Meeting In Progress Pls Join Us (Preview) Please join us for an Alanon 10 AM meeting in the MIP chatroom. :) TT	tiredtonite	1	467	Sep 17, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage to Change 9-17-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for September 17 speaks about our need to belong and to fit in. This need helps us to get along with others and be part of society. However,in attempting to fit in sometimes we tend to people please and abandon ourselves. People pleasing takes a destructive form when we ignore our ow...	hotrod	1	649	Sep 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	Sex addiction too (Preview) My alcoholic partner seems to also have a sex addiction. When he's drinking he wants sex all the time. In conversation with anyone he starts talking about it, even when its completely inappropriate. People get embarrassed and uncomfortable. Its very awkward. When he's sober he has very little inte...	Emma123	22	866	Sep 17, 2016 by jitsuka
	Getting free of him (Preview) I was fortunate to finally separate myself from an alcoholic after six years. I became his live-in caregiver having no other options at the time, but as time went on I gained options, ironically because of his own forceful manipulation and pressure on me. He wanted me to get an outside job while also b...	MVaslovik	17	873	Sep 17, 2016 by el-cee
	so true it's harder and behavior is worse than when he was actively drinking (Preview) Last night my husband expressed how very hard it is for him, most of his friends are drinking buddies. I could feel his agony of the thought of losing this set of friends. It's as if it's everything to him, he has a very poor family (origin) support system. I know that what worries him most is losing his...	jocelgp	2	622	Sep 16, 2016 by Jerry F
	Filtering who I share my story with... (Preview) We share our stories with others to help gain perspective. I remember when my friends husband went to treatment and she started telling me what her life was like. I was in shock, she was sharing my story. I remember being envious that her husband got to go to treatment and my ex was causing chaos whereeve...	Crau	2	530	Sep 16, 2016 by hotrod
	CONTROLLING VS. TRUST (Preview) Trying to control had always been my response to fear, distrust, panic, feeling overwhelmed, and feelings of helplessness. I did not trust in the Higher Power, the universe or the process of life. Instead of trusting, I tried to control everything because I desperately wanted to feel more sec...	2HP	8	683	Sep 16, 2016 by Ann_M_Y
	Dealing with pride (Preview) I know I have an issue with pride. I think about the times my AW had inappropriate relationships with a coworker and I think about all of those holiday parties and work events and how others must have been snickering about what they knew that I didn't know. I don't even know if that is true or not. I think...	CH_Husband_Dad	9	1133	Sep 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 9/16/16 (Preview) Good morning all....Happy Friday to you where ever you maybe! Today's reading continues on with trusting a power greater than ourselves. The reading begins by discussing how our most negative thoughts in the face of all we deal with appear as truth. These negative thoughts plead the worst case sc...	Iamhere	5	669	Sep 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	New to Al Anon :) So much clarity after my first meeting (Preview) With the encouragement and support of some good friends, I attended my first Al Anon meeting last night. I felt the speaker's topic, Communication, was helpful to me, as frequently I have a difficult time with that; communication not only with others, but also with myself. But the rest of the meeting...	burr1017	5	702	Sep 16, 2016 by Enigmatic
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.