Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading provides the opportunity to try on a new perspective in regards to how we see our feelings and emotions. Instead of viewing resentment, jealousy, fear, and anger as 'bad', we can try viewing them simply as signals, without the value judgment of 'good/bad'.Some of those feelings may...

KT2015 · KT2015

I've been working through step three with my sponsor and she reminded me of the concept of the God box. I had been avoiding it before because I didn't think it would help but I have found lately that I have been so obsessed with my AH's drinking and the future of our relationship that I decided I was going t...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Saturday past, I played tournament softball here - the metro area does sober softball and the tournament is how we end the year/season. Of course, there is recovery everywhere and both sides of the fellowship are well represented. There are games, kids, spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends, games...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

My divorce is final in Dec. I think detaching is forver thugh. He, in a period of clarity keeps calling me about some odd pieces of clothes that he claims are mine that he intends to mail. Believe me, when i left i took everything i wanted so i wouldnt have to return. Its a ploy so he can vaguely ask me favors a...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I have exciting news which I'm still a little unsure about, .. my ex has agreed to a settlement. I am in SHOCK. I'm still reeling 2 days later. What I am not reeling about is realizing nothing has changed .. I know you would think I would learn .. LOL .. however whatever it is what it is, and he is who he is. ...

Ex Wife · Ex Wife

We have been divorced 9 years. It was ugly, but the last 5 years have been good. I consider him a friend and good dad, we have a son together with a medical issue. I was in a long term relationship that ended over a year ago. About 6 months ago the ex husband begins actively trying to get me back. He still drink...

geems · geems

HP is there. He gone to get coffee

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Its been 9mths since I physically left my soon to be XAH but probally years I left him in an emotional sense. Standing alone I can see that I wasnt with my XAH for love. I had this idea after 2 failed marriages to find someone who in the future I could be secure with financially. Its way too complicated to go i...

Fooled · Fooled

I come back after a long summer. We had some good times, we had some bad times, and some eh times. My AH has been on and off sober since February. He believes in therapeutic relapses. What ever that means..... After much drama he admitted to our pastor and myself that he cant do AA because it makes h...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

I am feeling blessed to be able to read all of the stories here that are like mine or different, the wisdom, the mistakes, the hope. I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the immense support, safety, healing and guidance found here. My AH went through months of fancy - finally, the real deal recovery. He c...

numb · numb

I am new to this. At a friends suggestion came here to start my own healing. Abbreviated story as from what i have been reading its the same as most. the pathological lying cheating blacking our with other girls everything except stealing (that i know of). we broke up, or i guess i should say he threw me aw...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for September 25 talks about Step Three. The reading reminds us that we can take this step over and over again and strive to place our will and life in the care of Higher Power's hands. Once we see that our way does not work, It's only then that we let go and begin to trust the still small v...

Gladitsover · Gladitsover

I have a lot to say. I'm glad this group exists, as these message boards have been helpful. We were together over 14 years. We were engaged & lived together (house in my name due to his credit). Brief highlights- open container a couple years ago, lost job, out of work while I paid bills, drinkin...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Im still unemployed but waiting now for unemployment to kick in as i caved and decided to get into that red tape nightmare. I have been having a great time with my new guy for 9 mths. Beeen going places and getting treated well. Things have progressed so that we are thinking about moving in together . I hav...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Hello all Lovely fresh autumn day here. Got that nice crispness to the air. Just sat quietly enjoying a coffee. Feeling peaceful. Pondering about how things reveal themselves a layer at a time in recovery. So as not to overwhelm us, I suppose. The denial about AH has revealed another layer. I say this i...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

I am writing to share my gratitude of my self awareness now. I used to blunder along completely unaware of my behaviour and therefore the chaos I was creating for myself. I notice yesterday with AH, we were getting on so great, I slipped back into controlling behaviours. I normally act detached with lo...

Toomuchlove2give · Toomuchlove2give

I am fighting the woman within who has some how allowed herself to keep believing the lies that I tell myself about my fianse. He is a binge drinker. I have been in therapy for almost three years dealing with my fianse. How could I say yes two years ago. I feel like thank God we haven't actually gotten mar...

madowl86 · madowl86

last night my ABF who has been drinking, but not getting drunk the past few months, got really wasted. He turned right back into his mean self. He started yelling at me and telling me how fat I've gotten. Then after over 30 minutes of his verbal abuse, he walked away like he was getting really mad and then h...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I will be chairing our Sunday morning meeting shortly. Please join us. TT

MissM · MissM

Today's c2c reflects on the fact that many of us arrive at the doors of al-anon believing our own stories to be larger than life and highly dramatic. It makes the rather apt comparison between thinking our high-drama lives and circumstances are 'blockbusters" when they are really more like home-mov...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

I know better than to get worked up about the falsehoods my AH has created about his consumption. No, he didn't drink last week (or the week before) but in reality he was drunk every night last week when I got home. No, he didn't drink a bottle of whiskey and leave the empty bottle in the cupboard but in re...

Iamhere · Iamhere

So - last night at softball, we were in need of a few players (conflicts). I asked two gals who are closer in age to me to come out and sub. Imagine a team with 3 women over 50 not only taking the field, but rocking it!!! We had fun, enjoyed the game and it's very flattering to still be able to 'game' as we all...

DavidG · DavidG

Our home town no longer has an Alanon group. I had to give the banners away to another group about a year ago. In the group we were not allowed to read daily readings from 'Hope For Today'. I questioned this one. I did not want to cause disharmony during a group meeting. So I asked for it to be discussed...

lookingup · lookingup

I've have lived in what's not normal most my life,fighting amongst siblings,not speaking to one another for years I came from a 7 sibling household with a loving mother,enabler.and a father,alcoholic everyday drinking drama and chaos became a part of my raising,everyday drama or chaos broke out,...

Iwashere · Iwashere

I am needing al anon guidance. I was recently in a committee in al anon to do some research into our groups finances. A fellow member was not getting clear information from the treasurer at our group conscience. Since we did not have time to resolve it a motion was entered to form a committee to researc...

el-cee · el-cee

I love that alanon is a place where there is no gossip. No going behind each others backs and bitching away about each other for whatever reason. It means we can relax and feel trust here maybe for the first time. Gossip was a big part in my life before but I always had a feeling that it wasn't quite right and...

Emma123 · Emma123

My boyfriend's alcoholism is gradually getting worse. Whenever I think about leaving I feel huge guilt. If he had a different illness such as cancer I doubt I'd leave him. However I don't believe he will stop drinking and it will probably kill him. So, I feel it would be much healthier for me to leave. O...

Desperateinnyc · Desperateinnyc

This will be the first time he is going, but he has spun out of control last week or so. And while I'm so proud of him for choosing this, I am scared too..I have all these selfish thoughts, what if he decides he doesn't want to be with me when he gets out, whatif he doesn't miss me in there, how do I make this as su...

lookingup · lookingup

I've just had a very heavy load taken off my back concerning a brother ,as some of you here may remember me posting about him ,my brother being missing in Texas ,Dallas .for several months ,we all had given him up for dead or some of my foo had said I was beginning to beleive it myself as painful as it was to ad...

aviva · aviva

Hello all. Not sure if this is where I am supposed to post all this but here goes... I am new to this site and Al Anon in general. I am very familiar with AA and Al Anon for various reasons which I won't go into now. I guess I just really need to get this all out, because I am so alone right now. My husband (just mar...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is one of my favorites. It summarizes for me how I can use the program and be/do differently. It talks about the character defect of responding in kind to bad behavior. When someone confronts me with hostility, my natural response is to respond the same. The program has given me th...

jitsuka · jitsuka

Just feeling bit down really. also been drinking a bit above what I should really. I know this has a negative effects on my mood, body, feeling crappy next morning. This is why it's all the more bizarre how As can just get up and operate like nothing has happened the next day! I know I'm not in good healt...

Iamhere · Iamhere

So - my AH told me a few months ago that he was invited on a golf trip with his golf buddies.....I said, Yay - have fun. He wasn't sure he wanted to go and then decided to do so. One guy that he's closest to arranged the entire trip and it was to be the last weekend of the month (next weekend). Well - on Tuesday,...

MissM · MissM

I haven't physically seen xabf for maybe a couple of months now. Things were seemingly OK between us (I guess) and then he turned up one night drunk and demanding that I live with him again or break up. I thought it ended on 'break up' because he sent me a bunch of nasty messages and then blocked my number, s...

lgnutah · lgnutah

This is something I have experienced in the last few years with my 36 year old unmarried A daughter (she lives 2.5 hours drive away). It has happened so often, that it has become the norm, And yet, I keep having expectations that this time my A will behave "normally". I'm just not sure what to do "inste...

e_i_m · e_i_m

I just want to testify to the magic that happens in f2f al-anon meetings. My home group meeting was tonight -- the topic was a page in Hope for Today (August 17th) about keeping the focus on ourselves and figuring out who we are. It was a great meeting. We laughed, we cried, we spoke about our fears and cont...

scaredhusband · scaredhusband

My wife has been home from rehab for a few weeks. I was clueless to her drug use prior to her getting caught at work. Clueless may be a bit strong. I was clueless about her drug use, but there were signs of addiction, but I just didn't know. When she came home, she told me what Step 4 was at a high level and ask...

CH_Husband_Dad · CH_Husband_Dad

I've shared a lot on here but I haven't really shared about my sister. She has had an alcohol abuse problem for at least 6 or 7 years. I haven't mentioned it because we don't live close and it has had very little impact on me personally. Her husband has been really controlling. Despite that fact that he...

Hopefully Optimistic · Hopefully Optimistic

I am not sure who is in greater denial, me or my AH. I keep hoping against hope that things will get better. He hates AA and went to one Sober Recovery meeting. He has admitted he doesn't want to stop. Tonight I wanted to go to a f2f meeting but can't because he's been drinking and I have no one to watch the kids...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about how the 5th step benefits us in growth, faith and our spiritually journey. So often, the one sharing is concerned and fearful of this step but does find relief in trusting HP, the listening member as well as freedom from the bondage of the kept secrets. Often we don't reali...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's Courage to Change page author describes themselves as a fearful person who developed a dread of change while growing up around alcohol and chaos. The familiarity of the chaos, however, provided an illusion of some control over it.It was in Alanon that the author learned how powerless they a...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Grateful to be back in the arms of my Al-anon home. Loving and feeling and living the program in all my affairs. I have not done the Steps yet. I very much want to. I have asked via prayer that God bring along a Sponsor for me. My home group has about 6 members. Two are men and out of the ladies there, none have a...

sdgirl · sdgirl

Me and my boyfriend are both full time students and work a lot, our lives have been stressful. He has always had problems communicating with people and setting boundaries for himself which I think has made his life even more stressful. Last week I went through my his things and found evidence of heroin...

Ceelee · Ceelee

I am really trying to work my program. Enabling is very confusing to me and I have alot of trouble with it. I am not sure when I am doing and when I am not. When my AH comes I try not to harass him. Somedays are better than others. I do what I would do if he was not drinking except for the harassing part. Some days...

jojo8466 · jojo8466

I'm curious and would like you all's thoughts on the following bible verse - mainly the lines that state "it is not self-seeking" and "it always protects, always trusts". I'm trying to apply this verse to my feelings / thoughts of the relationship I had with the ex ABF but am struggling with those line...

hotrod · hotrod

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JERRY F AND I AM HERE I hope your day is extra special (as you both are) and that you each enjoy every minute. -- Edited by Iamhere on Sunday 31st of January 2021 11:37:30 AM

jocelgp · jocelgp

It's been quite a while since I last shared in this forum, but I have always been here reading and reflecting on the shares here. I think just like everyone here we all started so lost, confused, asking, seeking, angry, crying, pitying... and we share one thing in common, our loved one, loved ones, lov...

serenity47 · serenity47

it was a very difficult night and day today . Our daughter was missing for over 24 hours . We filed a police report . I contacted many people in her recovery network to try and find her . She has been sober 9 months as far as I know. She eventually surfaced . Was trying to deflect and deny the truth on the phon...

timpatico · timpatico

My husband of 11 years is an alcoholic and has Rheumatoid Arthritis. I know alcoholics find all sorts of excuses to drink but this seems legitimate. As much as I hate when he drinks, I get it. He has now quit for the 5 th time (3 days sober) but I know all it takes is one bad day for him to pick up again. Whe...

Jt0506 · Jt0506

Hi, I'm new to this group, but probably have needed it for years now. I have been with my partner for six years. He is a binge drinker. While he doesn't drink in the week, come weekend he drinks to complete excess. Angry, verbally abusive, pisses himself, vomits and blacks outs - every single week...

KT2015 · KT2015

Over the last two days I've had some very confusing arguments with my AH. When I think about it it started after I came home from my meeting and told him that my group had helped me to make amends with my mother. He expressed his frustration that he had listened to me complain about my mother all weekend and...

Hopeful2112 · Hopeful2112

I am really at my wits end. My recover(d)...(ing) A partner is driving me crazy!! Simple story, sober A for nearly 9 years, we've been together for three, most of which, no meetings and a horrible dry drunk. In hindsight he was very lucky he didn't drink!! Now re- engaged with AA done his steps again and n...

geems · geems

The person I am today has huge issues with the person I used to be. I behaved in deplorable ways towards others back in the day. The fearless moral inventory may be on the today me and that me won't do it again... but the yesterday me has some apologizing to do and maybe even prison time? My own manipulation...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

I was fortunate to hear an AA person share at our meeting today. About 10 years sober. One thing that really hit home to me and helped me a lot is how they don't obsess about us. They really don't. They obsess about booze. In many ways we (al-anoners) are irrelevant to them. This was so very helpful for me to...

a4l · a4l

I am finding myself a lot simpler as a person which is good. Yet I'm also struggling not to be a judgemental ass. I am utterly averse to those I perceive as intentionally emotionally weak. I always suspect victim routine is a form of manipulation mostly based on direct experiences with masters of it. An...

Detached · Detached

I love this board, even if it is just to vent and put into writing the thoughts that are swirling in my head! I'm trying not to make any rash decisions in my recovery, but I feel stuck. I am married to a person who, although he is highly functional, has multiple addictions and no desire to stop. I have detach...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I learned in Al-Anon to focus on what is working vs. what is not working. As I reflect on my life since coming to the program, things have improved. I am grateful beyond words most of the time. Then, we have those days that society normalizes - birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, etc. I am working m...

eliza098 · eliza098

Hi, I am Elizabeth from British Columbia. I am disturbed and worried about my daughter's behaviour and she is almost out of my control. I am badly in need of a suggestion. She was into smoking in the initial stage now she is into smoking and alcohol use too. I have been trying convincing her regarding the...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone: Today's reading is about the experience of someone who came to alanon and could only see the differences between herself and all of the others at the meeting. She kept going to meetings, and after some time she began to see that the group was an even playing field. All of them had b...

Tired Mom2 · Tired Mom2

I am new here and I am reaching out for help. My Son is 31 yrs old. He has been struggling with addiction for many yrs. He just got out of detox one week ago today. I had to call a ambulance one hour ago because he OD on Fentanyl. I am at my wit's end. He has no where else to go. He came to my home after his last inpati...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	C2C 9-26-16 How Do We Feel About Our Feelings? (Preview) Today's reading provides the opportunity to try on a new perspective in regards to how we see our feelings and emotions. Instead of viewing resentment, jealousy, fear, and anger as 'bad', we can try viewing them simply as signals, without the value judgment of 'good/bad'.Some of those feelings may...	Enigmatic	3	491	Sep 26, 2016 by a4l
	Feeling powerless (Preview) I've been working through step three with my sponsor and she reminded me of the concept of the God box. I had been avoiding it before because I didn't think it would help but I have found lately that I have been so obsessed with my AH's drinking and the future of our relationship that I decided I was going t...	KT2015	7	510	Sep 26, 2016 by KT2015
	Fellowship, Freedom and Service Work - the Miracle of Recovery... (Preview) Saturday past, I played tournament softball here - the metro area does sober softball and the tournament is how we end the year/season. Of course, there is recovery everywhere and both sides of the fellowship are well represented. There are games, kids, spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends, games...	Iamhere	3	442	Sep 26, 2016 by hotrod
	aLMOST XAH (Preview) My divorce is final in Dec. I think detaching is forver thugh. He, in a period of clarity keeps calling me about some odd pieces of clothes that he claims are mine that he intends to mail. Believe me, when i left i took everything i wanted so i wouldnt have to return. Its a ploy so he can vaguely ask me favors a...	YARNCRAZY	1	371	Sep 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	Update :) (Preview) I have exciting news which I'm still a little unsure about, .. my ex has agreed to a settlement. I am in SHOCK. I'm still reeling 2 days later. What I am not reeling about is realizing nothing has changed .. I know you would think I would learn .. LOL .. however whatever it is what it is, and he is who he is. ...	SerenityRUS	9	538	Sep 26, 2016 by likemyheart
	Ex Husband and Addict wants us back (Preview) We have been divorced 9 years. It was ugly, but the last 5 years have been good. I consider him a friend and good dad, we have a son together with a medical issue. I was in a long term relationship that ended over a year ago. About 6 months ago the ex husband begins actively trying to get me back. He still drink...	Ex Wife	6	491	Sep 26, 2016 by deacon
	Tips on how to conduct meeting when it's just oneself in attendance. Idlers notwithstanding. Anybody? (Preview) HP is there. He gone to get coffee	geems	3	401	Sep 26, 2016 by geems
	Confession time (Preview) Its been 9mths since I physically left my soon to be XAH but probally years I left him in an emotional sense. Standing alone I can see that I wasnt with my XAH for love. I had this idea after 2 failed marriages to find someone who in the future I could be secure with financially. Its way too complicated to go i...	YARNCRAZY	3	421	Sep 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	Putting it here, instead of (Preview) I come back after a long summer. We had some good times, we had some bad times, and some eh times. My AH has been on and off sober since February. He believes in therapeutic relapses. What ever that means..... After much drama he admitted to our pastor and myself that he cant do AA because it makes h...	Fooled	20	649	Sep 26, 2016 by geems
	So Glad You Are All Here (Preview) I am feeling blessed to be able to read all of the stories here that are like mine or different, the wisdom, the mistakes, the hope. I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the immense support, safety, healing and guidance found here. My AH went through months of fancy - finally, the real deal recovery. He c...	sunmustshine	8	428	Sep 25, 2016 by tired of it
	Amends? Help feel like im in a black hole! (Preview) I am new to this. At a friends suggestion came here to start my own healing. Abbreviated story as from what i have been reading its the same as most. the pathological lying cheating blacking our with other girls everything except stealing (that i know of). we broke up, or i guess i should say he threw me aw...	numb	28	804	Sep 25, 2016 by sunmustshine
	Courage to Change Reading 9-25-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for September 25 talks about Step Three. The reading reminds us that we can take this step over and over again and strive to place our will and life in the care of Higher Power's hands. Once we see that our way does not work, It's only then that we let go and begin to trust the still small v...	hotrod	5	580	Sep 25, 2016 by DavidG
	Infidelity Infidelity cheating relapse BPD regret (Preview) I have a lot to say. I'm glad this group exists, as these message boards have been helpful. We were together over 14 years. We were engaged & lived together (house in my name due to his credit). Brief highlights- open container a couple years ago, lost job, out of work while I paid bills, drinkin...	Gladitsover	9	3348	Sep 25, 2016 by Jerry F
	UPDATE (Preview) Im still unemployed but waiting now for unemployment to kick in as i caved and decided to get into that red tape nightmare. I have been having a great time with my new guy for 9 mths. Beeen going places and getting treated well. Things have progressed so that we are thinking about moving in together . I hav...	YARNCRAZY	6	468	Sep 25, 2016 by Jerry F
	Big TV! (Preview) Hello all Lovely fresh autumn day here. Got that nice crispness to the air. Just sat quietly enjoying a coffee. Feeling peaceful. Pondering about how things reveal themselves a layer at a time in recovery. So as not to overwhelm us, I suppose. The denial about AH has revealed another layer. I say this i...	Calm Lady	14	585	Sep 25, 2016 by Jerry F
	Started a relapse yesterday (Preview) I am writing to share my gratitude of my self awareness now. I used to blunder along completely unaware of my behaviour and therefore the chaos I was creating for myself. I notice yesterday with AH, we were getting on so great, I slipped back into controlling behaviours. I normally act detached with lo...	Calm Lady	7	472	Sep 25, 2016 by serenity47
	I am new to the group. In need of someone to talk to (Preview) I am fighting the woman within who has some how allowed herself to keep believing the lies that I tell myself about my fianse. He is a binge drinker. I have been in therapy for almost three years dealing with my fianse. How could I say yes two years ago. I feel like thank God we haven't actually gotten mar...	Toomuchlove2give	19	712	Sep 25, 2016 by geems
	Are drunk words real thoughts? (Preview) last night my ABF who has been drinking, but not getting drunk the past few months, got really wasted. He turned right back into his mean self. He started yelling at me and telling me how fat I've gotten. Then after over 30 minutes of his verbal abuse, he walked away like he was getting really mad and then h...	madowl86	10	766	Sep 25, 2016 by MovieGal
	Sunday Morning Alanon Meeting in Chatroom 10:30 EST (Preview) I will be chairing our Sunday morning meeting shortly. Please join us. TT	tiredtonite	1	338	Sep 25, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage To Change 24/9 (Preview) Today's c2c reflects on the fact that many of us arrive at the doors of al-anon believing our own stories to be larger than life and highly dramatic. It makes the rather apt comparison between thinking our high-drama lives and circumstances are 'blockbusters" when they are really more like home-mov...	MissM	8	467	Sep 25, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Delusions and false realities (Preview) I know better than to get worked up about the falsehoods my AH has created about his consumption. No, he didn't drink last week (or the week before) but in reality he was drunk every night last week when I got home. No, he didn't drink a bottle of whiskey and leave the empty bottle in the cupboard but in re...	Bethany66	5	550	Sep 25, 2016 by jocelgp
	Outsiders Truly Do Not Understand Us!!! (Preview) So - last night at softball, we were in need of a few players (conflicts). I asked two gals who are closer in age to me to come out and sub. Imagine a team with 3 women over 50 not only taking the field, but rocking it!!! We had fun, enjoyed the game and it's very flattering to still be able to 'game' as we all...	Iamhere	9	579	Sep 25, 2016 by Calm Lady
	,,,group issues... how they work for me... (Preview) Our home town no longer has an Alanon group. I had to give the banners away to another group about a year ago. In the group we were not allowed to read daily readings from 'Hope For Today'. I questioned this one. I did not want to cause disharmony during a group meeting. So I asked for it to be discussed...	DavidG	7	465	Sep 24, 2016 by Iamhere
	Not normal versus normal (Preview) I've have lived in what's not normal most my life,fighting amongst siblings,not speaking to one another for years I came from a 7 sibling household with a loving mother,enabler.and a father,alcoholic everyday drinking drama and chaos became a part of my raising,everyday drama or chaos broke out,...	lookingup	7	494	Sep 24, 2016 by Iamhere
	Treasurer embezzled treasurer theft (Preview) I am needing al anon guidance. I was recently in a committee in al anon to do some research into our groups finances. A fellow member was not getting clear information from the treasurer at our group conscience. Since we did not have time to resolve it a motion was entered to form a committee to researc...	Iwashere	20	931	Sep 24, 2016 by hotrod
	Gossip (Preview) I love that alanon is a place where there is no gossip. No going behind each others backs and bitching away about each other for whatever reason. It means we can relax and feel trust here maybe for the first time. Gossip was a big part in my life before but I always had a feeling that it wasn't quite right and...	el-cee	17	1065	Sep 24, 2016 by geems
	Guilt (Preview) My boyfriend's alcoholism is gradually getting worse. Whenever I think about leaving I feel huge guilt. If he had a different illness such as cancer I doubt I'd leave him. However I don't believe he will stop drinking and it will probably kill him. So, I feel it would be much healthier for me to leave. O...	Emma123	12	568	Sep 24, 2016 by Iamhere
	Tomorrow my BF goes to rehab, I'm really scared.., (Preview) This will be the first time he is going, but he has spun out of control last week or so. And while I'm so proud of him for choosing this, I am scared too..I have all these selfish thoughts, what if he decides he doesn't want to be with me when he gets out, whatif he doesn't miss me in there, how do I make this as su...	Desperateinnyc	13	526	Sep 24, 2016 by pinkchip
	Long lost brother found (Preview) I've just had a very heavy load taken off my back concerning a brother ,as some of you here may remember me posting about him ,my brother being missing in Texas ,Dallas .for several months ,we all had given him up for dead or some of my foo had said I was beginning to beleive it myself as painful as it was to ad...	lookingup	7	502	Sep 24, 2016 by lookingup
	Feeling so alone (Preview) Hello all. Not sure if this is where I am supposed to post all this but here goes... I am new to this site and Al Anon in general. I am very familiar with AA and Al Anon for various reasons which I won't go into now. I guess I just really need to get this all out, because I am so alone right now. My husband (just mar...	aviva	6	571	Sep 23, 2016 by Mattie
	Courage to Change (C2C) 9/23/16 (Preview) Today's reading is one of my favorites. It summarizes for me how I can use the program and be/do differently. It talks about the character defect of responding in kind to bad behavior. When someone confronts me with hostility, my natural response is to respond the same. The program has given me th...	Iamhere	4	442	Sep 23, 2016 by hotrod
	Feeling a bit down on myself (Preview) Just feeling bit down really. also been drinking a bit above what I should really. I know this has a negative effects on my mood, body, feeling crappy next morning. This is why it's all the more bizarre how As can just get up and operate like nothing has happened the next day! I know I'm not in good healt...	jitsuka	9	766	Sep 23, 2016 by jitsuka
	My AH is Gone on a Golf Trip!!! (Preview) So - my AH told me a few months ago that he was invited on a golf trip with his golf buddies.....I said, Yay - have fun. He wasn't sure he wanted to go and then decided to do so. One guy that he's closest to arranged the entire trip and it was to be the last weekend of the month (next weekend). Well - on Tuesday,...	Iamhere	17	537	Sep 23, 2016 by Iamhere
	Why can't I say the freaking words. (Preview) I haven't physically seen xabf for maybe a couple of months now. Things were seemingly OK between us (I guess) and then he turned up one night drunk and demanding that I live with him again or break up. I thought it ended on 'break up' because he sent me a bunch of nasty messages and then blocked my number, s...	MissM	22	747	Sep 23, 2016 by 2HP
	How do I keep my serenity, set boundaries here? (Preview) This is something I have experienced in the last few years with my 36 year old unmarried A daughter (she lives 2.5 hours drive away). It has happened so often, that it has become the norm, And yet, I keep having expectations that this time my A will behave "normally". I'm just not sure what to do "inste...	lgnutah	5	474	Sep 23, 2016 by Calm Lady
	The magic of meetings (Preview) I just want to testify to the magic that happens in f2f al-anon meetings. My home group meeting was tonight -- the topic was a page in Hope for Today (August 17th) about keeping the focus on ourselves and figuring out who we are. It was a great meeting. We laughed, we cried, we spoke about our fears and cont...	e_i_m	6	466	Sep 23, 2016 by el-cee
	I read my wife's 4th step (Preview) My wife has been home from rehab for a few weeks. I was clueless to her drug use prior to her getting caught at work. Clueless may be a bit strong. I was clueless about her drug use, but there were signs of addiction, but I just didn't know. When she came home, she told me what Step 4 was at a high level and ask...	scaredhusband	4	505	Sep 22, 2016 by a4l
	Question about getting family member in rehab (Preview) I've shared a lot on here but I haven't really shared about my sister. She has had an alcohol abuse problem for at least 6 or 7 years. I haven't mentioned it because we don't live close and it has had very little impact on me personally. Her husband has been really controlling. Despite that fact that he...	CH_Husband_Dad	21	672	Sep 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	Denial (Preview) I am not sure who is in greater denial, me or my AH. I keep hoping against hope that things will get better. He hates AA and went to one Sober Recovery meeting. He has admitted he doesn't want to stop. Tonight I wanted to go to a f2f meeting but can't because he's been drinking and I have no one to watch the kids...	Hopefully Optimistic	12	983	Sep 22, 2016 by Fairlee
	Courage to Change (C2C) 9/22/16 (Preview) Today's reading talks about how the 5th step benefits us in growth, faith and our spiritually journey. So often, the one sharing is concerned and fearful of this step but does find relief in trusting HP, the listening member as well as freedom from the bondage of the kept secrets. Often we don't reali...	Iamhere	6	434	Sep 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	C2C 9-21-16 Fear (Preview) Today's Courage to Change page author describes themselves as a fearful person who developed a dread of change while growing up around alcohol and chaos. The familiarity of the chaos, however, provided an illusion of some control over it.It was in Alanon that the author learned how powerless they a...	Enigmatic	14	577	Sep 22, 2016 by serenity47
	Prayers please (Preview) Grateful to be back in the arms of my Al-anon home. Loving and feeling and living the program in all my affairs. I have not done the Steps yet. I very much want to. I have asked via prayer that God bring along a Sponsor for me. My home group has about 6 members. Two are men and out of the ladies there, none have a...	Calm Lady	14	496	Sep 22, 2016 by el-cee
	Help- I confronted my boyfriend about Heroin and he dumped me, then decided to detox, I don't know what to do. heroin drug use boyfriend dumped break up detox scared unsure help alone (Preview) Me and my boyfriend are both full time students and work a lot, our lives have been stressful. He has always had problems communicating with people and setting boundaries for himself which I think has made his life even more stressful. Last week I went through my his things and found evidence of heroin...	sdgirl	5	2951	Sep 22, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Enabling my AH (Preview) I am really trying to work my program. Enabling is very confusing to me and I have alot of trouble with it. I am not sure when I am doing and when I am not. When my AH comes I try not to harass him. Somedays are better than others. I do what I would do if he was not drinking except for the harassing part. Some days...	Ceelee	11	416	Sep 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	Interpretation of Love is Kind (Preview) I'm curious and would like you all's thoughts on the following bible verse - mainly the lines that state "it is not self-seeking" and "it always protects, always trusts". I'm trying to apply this verse to my feelings / thoughts of the relationship I had with the ex ABF but am struggling with those line...	jojo8466	27	986	Sep 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	Happy Birthday (Preview) HAPPY BIRTHDAY JERRY F AND I AM HERE I hope your day is extra special (as you both are) and that you each enjoy every minute. -- Edited by Iamhere on Sunday 31st of January 2021 11:37:30 AM	hotrod	19	620	Sep 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	to leave or not to leave? (Preview) It's been quite a while since I last shared in this forum, but I have always been here reading and reflecting on the shares here. I think just like everyone here we all started so lost, confused, asking, seeking, angry, crying, pitying... and we share one thing in common, our loved one, loved ones, lov...	jocelgp	3	349	Sep 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	relapse/slip after 9 months (Preview) it was a very difficult night and day today . Our daughter was missing for over 24 hours . We filed a police report . I contacted many people in her recovery network to try and find her . She has been sober 9 months as far as I know. She eventually surfaced . Was trying to deflect and deny the truth on the phon...	serenity47	6	469	Sep 22, 2016 by serenity47
	Alcoholic Husband with RA (Preview) My husband of 11 years is an alcoholic and has Rheumatoid Arthritis. I know alcoholics find all sorts of excuses to drink but this seems legitimate. As much as I hate when he drinks, I get it. He has now quit for the 5 th time (3 days sober) but I know all it takes is one bad day for him to pick up again. Whe...	timpatico	2	327	Sep 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	Please help. When is enough, enough? ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Hi, I'm new to this group, but probably have needed it for years now. I have been with my partner for six years. He is a binge drinker. While he doesn't drink in the week, come weekend he drinks to complete excess. Angry, verbally abusive, pisses himself, vomits and blacks outs - every single week...	Jt0506	46	1266	Sep 21, 2016 by tired of it
	Arguments with AH (Preview) Over the last two days I've had some very confusing arguments with my AH. When I think about it it started after I came home from my meeting and told him that my group had helped me to make amends with my mother. He expressed his frustration that he had listened to me complain about my mother all weekend and...	KT2015	18	584	Sep 21, 2016 by El
	Acting out and mind numbing obsessions (Preview) I am really at my wits end. My recover(d)...(ing) A partner is driving me crazy!! Simple story, sober A for nearly 9 years, we've been together for three, most of which, no meetings and a horrible dry drunk. In hindsight he was very lucky he didn't drink!! Now re- engaged with AA done his steps again and n...	Hopeful2112	5	450	Sep 21, 2016 by Iamhere
	Personal Accountability (Preview) The person I am today has huge issues with the person I used to be. I behaved in deplorable ways towards others back in the day. The fearless moral inventory may be on the today me and that me won't do it again... but the yesterday me has some apologizing to do and maybe even prison time? My own manipulation...	geems	11	815	Sep 21, 2016 by MissM
	An AA share (Preview) I was fortunate to hear an AA person share at our meeting today. About 10 years sober. One thing that really hit home to me and helped me a lot is how they don't obsess about us. They really don't. They obsess about booze. In many ways we (al-anoners) are irrelevant to them. This was so very helpful for me to...	Calm Lady	21	546	Sep 21, 2016 by hotrod
	aversion (Preview) I am finding myself a lot simpler as a person which is good. Yet I'm also struggling not to be a judgemental ass. I am utterly averse to those I perceive as intentionally emotionally weak. I always suspect victim routine is a form of manipulation mostly based on direct experiences with masters of it. An...	a4l	6	433	Sep 21, 2016 by el-cee
	Realization (Preview) I love this board, even if it is just to vent and put into writing the thoughts that are swirling in my head! I'm trying not to make any rash decisions in my recovery, but I feel stuck. I am married to a person who, although he is highly functional, has multiple addictions and no desire to stop. I have detach...	Detached	5	385	Sep 20, 2016 by deacon
	Closing Out the Birthday....Just a bit of Sadness (Preview) I learned in Al-Anon to focus on what is working vs. what is not working. As I reflect on my life since coming to the program, things have improved. I am grateful beyond words most of the time. Then, we have those days that society normalizes - birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, etc. I am working m...	Iamhere	10	542	Sep 20, 2016 by geems
	I am fed up with my daughter (Preview) Hi, I am Elizabeth from British Columbia. I am disturbed and worried about my daughter's behaviour and she is almost out of my control. I am badly in need of a suggestion. She was into smoking in the initial stage now she is into smoking and alcohol use too. I have been trying convincing her regarding the...	eliza098	2	405	Sep 20, 2016 by Mattie
	Hope for Today Sept 20 (Preview) Good morning Everyone: Today's reading is about the experience of someone who came to alanon and could only see the differences between herself and all of the others at the meeting. She kept going to meetings, and after some time she began to see that the group was an even playing field. All of them had b...	yanksfan51	2	347	Sep 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	How do I help my 31 yr. Old Son (Preview) I am new here and I am reaching out for help. My Son is 31 yrs old. He has been struggling with addiction for many yrs. He just got out of detox one week ago today. I had to call a ambulance one hour ago because he OD on Fentanyl. I am at my wit's end. He has no where else to go. He came to my home after his last inpati...	Tired Mom2	20	703	Sep 20, 2016 by eliza098
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.