Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

PrettyPink · PrettyPink

New to this. I just am so depressed I need help. Do alcoholics understand how much they hurt you? Do they care? Can they really love you? Every single thing that he says makes him drink can be fixed, and pretty easily. So why does he choose the path that makes him miserable rather than the path of happi...

starcatcher2 · starcatcher2

Hi, I'm new to this forum. Last week I posted about trying to move on from an alcoholic ex. Well yesterday he called me asking for help. I helped him out, picked him up and dropped him off. He texted me this morning asking if he could come over and be with me. I caved and said yes (he was coming off a 6 day binge)...

Jerry F · Jerry F

We got communication from my family that my younger brother was in serious condition in the hospital up there transfused with 9 liters of blood and surgery to clip off and artery that was failing to cancer and that the cancer is pancreatic and also in his liver. They brought him around and the family...

JackieR · JackieR

My Name is Jackie, and I just started using Al-Anon a few months ago. My first serious boyfriend was an alcoholic and PTSD. He was in the Marines and had toured twice to other countries and seen some pretty horrific things. WHen he came home, he used drinking as a coping mechanism. Unknown to how serious...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for October 16 speaks to the fact that Al-Anon is a program of action. It is here we finally recognize that we have choices about what to do with our time and life . We can relax with a bubble bath and a massage, make an Al-Anon call go on a bike ride or take a nap Any and all of these activit...

hotrod · hotrod

Step 4 has been posted to the Step Work Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Please join in and share your thoughts . Here is the link http://st...

Prissykitty · Prissykitty

So DH isn't using currently. He's attending one meeting per week but I wouldn't say he's "working" on anything. I'm working on myself and it's hard. But it's what's best. Is anyone familiar with a recovering addict having serious mood swings? It's quite exhausting. One week he's up and full of ener...

sarahGee · sarahGee

I am new to Al Anon, so this is all very fresh for me. In my previous post I explain a little more about my family. My mother is an alcoholic and my brother is an addict. They have a very strange relationship. They can't stand each other, but are glued to each other, if that makes any sense? Anyway, I was alway...

MissM · MissM

Todays c2c suggests that forgiveness is "the most loving form of detachment". It goes on the explain that forgiveness is not about declaring a person "not guilty", or wiping their slate clean, but that it is rather an exercise in cutting the cords that bind us to the pain caused by the event. We don't h...

ItsAllAboutMeMC · ItsAllAboutMeMC

So much has gone on in the past 3 months. I have not been going to my meetings have not posted but somehow my life has taken a 180 and for the better. Even though I have not been to meetings and on here much I still keep all the slogans and prayers with me everyday and have been working really hard to turn my frus...

tired of it · tired of it

Yes, I still gets my hopes up only to be disappointed when my AH says he is going to quit drinking for a while. Then he goes for 1 day off and has just headed out to get "only 3 mini's" but will come home with more. Last time he got a bottle saying that they ran out of mini's. BS! So here we go again! Some day...

e_i_m · e_i_m

There's a good chance that my job will end in December due to funding issues. I've known this since late June and have been pretty fine with it -- I actually haven't been stressed at all about the potential job loss, and have been leaving that up to HP. (I really think I work my program best in all areas that...

Iamhere · Iamhere

TGIF - Thank Goodness it's Friday! Good morning MIP family. Today's reading in Courage to Change is all about Step 10 and how it helps us continue to grow, learn and change. A line that really speaks to me says, "Much of what I find wrong in my life is related to my opinions -- that is, my prejudices, assu...

sarahGee · sarahGee

Hello everyone, I am really glad I have found this forum. I have found an Al Anon group in my area as well, and I will be attending my first meeting tonight. I am nervous, but ready. My family is in shambles and I know it's time to walk away. I have tried to help in various ways, and everything came to a head a fe...

sarahGee · sarahGee

I apologize for the barrage of posts. I mentioned yesterday that my mom was sick & going through tests. My dad just called me (mom still not speaking to me) - Dr says mom has cancer. She is having surgery on Thursday this coming week, so their trip was cancelled. They don't know much now, but will kno...

lookingup · lookingup

Yep I have a crush on a guy that doesn't have a clue about me ,I don't think anyway,his now x wife divorced him for I don't know why reason,I knew him a bit back in my teen yrs just hanging out with ppl,I pm him we had a very brief conversation about nothing really ,then I saw I had a missed call from him on my mess...

Gary1957 · Gary1957

I'm brand now to Al-Anon but not new to the effects that alcoholism has had on me as a person, not the effects it and drugs are having on my family and I now.

el-cee · el-cee

Has shrunk so much. Its so good. It does inflate now and again and I get the whole 'I know best' 'do what I say' the whole you should... kind of vibe on the go but mostly my ego and my thumb is down to relatively realistic proportions. Hows your thumb these days?

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Feeling quite low today. Time of the month. Anyway in the past I had always felt obliged to put on a happy pollyanna face for AH. Enabling his illusion that my life is wonderful. Ie that he is a fabulous husband and his daily drinking is normal. Now, when I am down. I own it. I act it, I am true to myself I will n...

starcatcher2 · starcatcher2

Hi, I am severely depressed and I just don't know how to get through this feeling of betrayal. I have been dating an alcoholic for over a year. We just recently broke up. I know it needed to happen. There were just to many negatives to keep this relationship afloat 1) No intimacy (he's unable to get an ere...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP family - happy Thursday! Today's reading talks about the Al-Anon slogan of "Easy Does It". Before coming to Al-Anon, the insanity and chaos often was too much. We, without intent, did not consider that joining in, slamming doors, shouting, etc. was not the best way to handle alrea...

MissM · MissM

Sigh. Last weekend x(I thought) abf asked if he could come over and I said no, I don't want you to, sorry. I guess we still hadn't had "the talk" but it's been months since we've seen each other and we talk less than once a week now (and only if he's drunk and calls me anyway). Anyway he called before and he st...

Helpangel · Helpangel

Well my ah who has relapsed a couple of times is moving out. Me- don't know what to do bc he just can't seem to stay sober and won't let things go and doesn't keep his promises to attend aa meetings or blah, blah...Him- wants to be sober but can't figure out what is wrong to not stay in recovery, and didn't wan...

KT2015 · KT2015

I have put a lot of work into improving my sleep and it has brought me a lot more sanity during the day. It has taken a big overhall. I've decreased my caffeine intake, Set an earlier bedtime, had to work on how to get back to sleep when I woke up in a panic about one thing or another. But in the past two weeks...

joker · joker

Things in the home front has been great. Sobriety remains in the home. That is a miracle. However, I find myself very miserable. I feel the anger inside me building up. I am so use to the insanity that now that there is structure and sanity I find it hard to deal with. I am not sure how to respond to it. Everyt...

searchingserenity · searchingserenity

I have an AH. We are young with 2 small children.. AH has been to rehab and we have done couples counseling for a while now. I set boundaries and unfortunately AH responded with yes he would follow them, but didnt follow through. I had to eventually take action. Does Al Anon support this decision? I am hav...

Thurrayya the Khajiit · Thurrayya the Khajiit

On Thursday, in a wave of loneliness/horniness, I made a Tinder. Ex-ABF has apparently already been all over Tinder and texts me "I saw you on Tinder." Tells me Tinder is none of my business but he's been on some dates. Then proceeds to be mad because I won't be home when he is available to come pick up his c...

Fooled · Fooled

Just wanted to take a moment and share what I thought was a hint of progress on my part.. One of my AH's complaints is that I am always getting involved in his recovery. I discovered that really what was happening is that he was pulling me into his hula hoop to handle some portion of his chaos and to get me b...

Lys · Lys

Hello! Can anyone recommend online support groups.. books.. any type of material really.... for dating an alcoholic? It's a new relationship - about 2 months. My boyfriend is graduating from a 30 day recovery program this weekend. He has been fighting his addiction for over 10 years and has been in m...

pinkchip · pinkchip

This is something I still need to work on. I progressed to not accept abuse and such, but am still easily offended and upset by others' behaviors. If I perceive insult, slight, disrespect, or undue criticism, I will expect an apology and give stank attitude, rudeness, or snarky sarcastic comments an...

geems · geems

I've had two today. Jest sayin'. Sorry, I really am a doofus newbie and shouldn't be holding them alone.

Suburban Denizen · Suburban Denizen

I have been lurking here for over a year, and thank you all for all of the wisdom, humor and love exchanged. I was in Al-Anon many years ago, then fell away as circumstances changed. 25+ years ago met DH, who had then been in recovery for a decade...but 3 years ago went out again. 1.5 years ago he stopped dri...

fiercefemaleflyer · fiercefemaleflyer

Found out a couple of days ago my boss relapsed and had an affair. While this has been really hard for me God is giving me strength to get through. Had I not just read a book on co-dependency I think I would rush into trying to "save her" mode. I have not. Insted I have been holding her accountable to her own be...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page shows the value of flexibility in our concepts of recovery and happiness, as becoming attached to how things "should" be creates more work for us and can delay our journey. The author first thought a fairytale relationship would be possible if only their mate was sober. Then, after find...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Some of you know that I took up golf about a year ago. A bit of back-story - my father golfed m whole life. My brothers all learned to golf as kids. I was not allowed - I was pushed into girl things - tap dance (not my cup of tea), jazz dance (better but still....) and finally gymnastics (love, love, love!)...

wildhorsehomimy · wildhorsehomimy

thanks to all of you...we are a good support group . i have only been here for a couple of weeks maybe...but have gained encouragement ...united we stand...

MissM · MissM

I'm in a bad mood today. About an hour ago I threw a tantrum at my computer and the cried like an overtired 3 year old while my daughter sat staring at me in horror. So I figure I'll write it out here and try to figure out where the silver linings are. Issue 1. I had to withdraw from a couple of subjects this seme...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

OK .. so it's not Facebook official .. LOL .. it's official enough. I am seeing someone exclusively .. I love every min of it and boy oh boy it would be very easy to get consumed with this relationship. He hasn't met the kids yet and will next weekend. We have been seeing each other sporadically over the...

KT2015 · KT2015

As I have probably mentioned already I have been working through step 3 with my sponsor and almost ready to move on to step four.Â As I work away at letting things go more and more I let things go and give them to HP I feel so much more peaceful.Â I'm not always peaceful all the time but I have long periods of...

el-cee · el-cee

Isnt it great that we have this amazing way of thinking? Im very grateful today that I can see things differently, I can think differently, I can feel good about working towards making my life a good one. For me this good life comes from my own thought processes always. Its not about material possession...

Marcusjohn · Marcusjohn

I met my daughter for lunch today,and mentioned a trip to London I am thinking of planning when I have a week off work,she has a big corparate meeting in London which involves her stopping overnight and it is an event that will involve a lot of drinking,she has said she has told people now that she is cutti...

Iamhere · Iamhere

We are know it, we've all said it and we've all probably done this to the best of our ability - Let It Begin With Me.When anyone, anywhere,reaches out for help - let the hand ofAl-Anonand Alateen always be there, andLet It Begin With Me. I made plans last week with my active son for tonight. He was to have a d...

kspec85 · kspec85

How many alanons does it take to screw a light bulb? None. They just detach and let it screw itself!!! -- Edited by kspec85 on Monday 10th of October 2016 05:44:30 PM

KT2015 · KT2015

My mom possibly being angry at me still gets to me. Without going into detail I didn't invite my mom to be part of a short visit with my in laws and I did so because she hasn't participated in any visits with them in the past few years. I didn't do it to hurt her or insult her I just didn't think it was important t...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Today's reading deals with some of the survival techniques we may have used growing up or being part of the chaos of an alcoholic home. The writer speaks about 'not dealing' by escaping into a world of books and art works. He goes on to say how even when he found hims in Alanon mee...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

going through an emotional rollercoaster today. woke up in a good mood, almost estatic. played some upbeat music, ..then suddenly i was in tears,mourning the end of my marriage. entirely my choice and a good oe..BUT its soo sad. for so many reasons. 25 yrs in which i didnt grow,go to school or further m...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's Hope for Today page has a tool that I have found to be extremely useful: using Step 1 backwards. It goes like this: I don't always correctly identify things I am powerless over or should not be trying to control. I do know, however, when I am feeling that things are unmanageable. When I am feeling...

e_i_m · e_i_m

I gained a new addition to my little family yesterday -- Bosco, the Boston Terrier. He's a 9 year old sassy and sophisticated senior and has merged seamlessly in with the other pets (another Boston and two cats). These sweet pets are so healing and therapeutic (and fun!). It's really hard for me to feel...

a4l · a4l

Jeepers this disease has taken its toll. I am finding it incredibly difficult to find compassion or tolerance for the willfully ill. The loved one in question is so sick! So martyred and controlling and just bloody crazy. I don't know if recognising this is because they've gotten sicker or I've gotte...

RecoveryMom1491 · RecoveryMom1491

Good Morning, I hope this is the correct place to post this introduction. As indicated, I am a newcomer to Alanon and so happy to have found this resource. I live in a small town with only a couple of meetings per week, not well attended even so. I took my 24 year old son to treatment this past Friday. i was fi...

deacon · deacon

Today is our Canadian Thanksgiving. We have not heard from our son and do not expect to. That is his choice and we are learning to live with it. We were invited to a sister's outdoor cookout but chose not to go. She also has invited one nephew who is an 'in the closet' alcoholic. In the closet because no one i...

themoonandthestars · themoonandthestars

Dh and I decided we are going to give the twins a choice: sobriety and they can live here or not living a sober life out there. This will leave them homeless because after nearly 4 years of the stealing, drinking, lying, drugs, puking, etc other family members are done allowing the chaos in their homes as...

lgnutah · lgnutah

I cannot attend face to face meetings but would love to find a sponsor who can help guide me through the steps. How do I go about finding a sponsor? If it helps someone decide if they are a good fit for me-I have been coming to this online site for almost four years. I came because I finally realized that my (...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm going on 3 mths being single for the 1st time in my life,wow,lol.i can laugh about it now for I always thought it to being impossible to do without a qualifier in my life,there's down days and good days,im finding everyday to be a healing day,it's totally diff,living alone and without any qualifier...

kadriliisa · kadriliisa

Yes today will be Tallinn Al Anon 23. Birthday and i as organizer of it feel bit scary as i am not sure in guidelines still....praying for serenity over myself...

themoonandthestars · themoonandthestars

I can't seem to stop worrying. I got home from a great day with my 13 yo daughter to find an empty house. None of my 3 boys are responding to my texts. That's a bad sign. Dh isn't here and I just don't feel strong enough to deal with drunk/high teens. It was just a week ago when someone dumped one of them in my yar...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today is the day...29 years ago, right about now, I woke up in a treatment center that I arrived at the night before. I arrived in a 'state' so, upon awakening on 10/8/87, I began a journey like no other. Had someone, anyone told me then I would be here now, I would have laughed in their face and probably s...

MissM · MissM

I've been kind of morose and defeatist of late and I think gratitude might be the cure so, I'm trying to be on a gratitude binge. So far so good. This morning I woke reasonably early and lazed in bed for a good hour writing and daydreaming and being grateful for Sunday. I then suggested to my offspring that...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Is there anything more annoying than the sound of a sloppy drunk eating an apple? *** Pauses to think ****. Nope, don't think there is. As she quickly dashes off to another room to escape it!!

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for October 9 speaks about our attitude toward God. It suggests that prior to program, many of us have had an adversarial relationship with God. We were engaged in the battle of wills and we didn't want God to win. We refused to accept God was all powerful and many therefore hit a huge, e...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Do they understand how much they hurt you? ( 1 2 ) (Preview) New to this. I just am so depressed I need help. Do alcoholics understand how much they hurt you? Do they care? Can they really love you? Every single thing that he says makes him drink can be fixed, and pretty easily. So why does he choose the path that makes him miserable rather than the path of happi...	PrettyPink	42	1448	Oct 17, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	The storm turned into a hurricane. (Preview) Hi, I'm new to this forum. Last week I posted about trying to move on from an alcoholic ex. Well yesterday he called me asking for help. I helped him out, picked him up and dropped him off. He texted me this morning asking if he could come over and be with me. I caved and said yes (he was coming off a 6 day binge)...	starcatcher2	20	760	Oct 17, 2016 by starcatcher2
	My generation coming to an end... (Preview) We got communication from my family that my younger brother was in serious condition in the hospital up there transfused with 9 liters of blood and surgery to clip off and artery that was failing to cancer and that the cancer is pancreatic and also in his liver. They brought him around and the family...	Jerry F	25	750	Oct 17, 2016 by Jerry F
	You Can't Fix Anyone But Yourself (Preview) My Name is Jackie, and I just started using Al-Anon a few months ago. My first serious boyfriend was an alcoholic and PTSD. He was in the Marines and had toured twice to other countries and seen some pretty horrific things. WHen he came home, he used drinking as a coping mechanism. Unknown to how serious...	JackieR	4	734	Oct 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	C2C reading 10-16-2016 (Preview) C2C reading for October 16 speaks to the fact that Al-Anon is a program of action. It is here we finally recognize that we have choices about what to do with our time and life . We can relax with a bubble bath and a massage, make an Al-Anon call go on a bike ride or take a nap Any and all of these activit...	hotrod	4	464	Oct 16, 2016 by lookingup
	Step 4 is posted on the Step Board (Preview) Step 4 has been posted to the Step Work Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Please join in and share your thoughts . Here is the link http://st...	hotrod	0	467	Oct 16, 2016 by hotrod
	Mood swings? (Preview) So DH isn't using currently. He's attending one meeting per week but I wouldn't say he's "working" on anything. I'm working on myself and it's hard. But it's what's best. Is anyone familiar with a recovering addict having serious mood swings? It's quite exhausting. One week he's up and full of ener...	Prissykitty	5	569	Oct 16, 2016 by jitsuka
	The alcoholic and social media (Preview) I am new to Al Anon, so this is all very fresh for me. In my previous post I explain a little more about my family. My mother is an alcoholic and my brother is an addict. They have a very strange relationship. They can't stand each other, but are glued to each other, if that makes any sense? Anyway, I was alway...	sarahGee	17	798	Oct 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage To Change 15/10 (Preview) Todays c2c suggests that forgiveness is "the most loving form of detachment". It goes on the explain that forgiveness is not about declaring a person "not guilty", or wiping their slate clean, but that it is rather an exercise in cutting the cords that bind us to the pain caused by the event. We don't h...	MissM	5	546	Oct 15, 2016 by hotrod
	Has it run its course yet? (Preview) So much has gone on in the past 3 months. I have not been going to my meetings have not posted but somehow my life has taken a 180 and for the better. Even though I have not been to meetings and on here much I still keep all the slogans and prayers with me everyday and have been working really hard to turn my frus...	ItsAllAboutMeMC	3	629	Oct 15, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Disappointed again....... (Preview) Yes, I still gets my hopes up only to be disappointed when my AH says he is going to quit drinking for a while. Then he goes for 1 day off and has just headed out to get "only 3 mini's" but will come home with more. Last time he got a bottle saying that they ran out of mini's. BS! So here we go again! Some day...	tired of it	13	764	Oct 15, 2016 by Enigmatic
	You never know what's around the corner (Preview) There's a good chance that my job will end in December due to funding issues. I've known this since late June and have been pretty fine with it -- I actually haven't been stressed at all about the potential job loss, and have been leaving that up to HP. (I really think I work my program best in all areas that...	e_i_m	3	639	Oct 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 10/14/16 (Preview) TGIF - Thank Goodness it's Friday! Good morning MIP family. Today's reading in Courage to Change is all about Step 10 and how it helps us continue to grow, learn and change. A line that really speaks to me says, "Much of what I find wrong in my life is related to my opinions -- that is, my prejudices, assu...	Iamhere	2	462	Oct 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	New here. Daughter of alcoholic, sister of addict. Could use some advice. (Preview) Hello everyone, I am really glad I have found this forum. I have found an Al Anon group in my area as well, and I will be attending my first meeting tonight. I am nervous, but ready. My family is in shambles and I know it's time to walk away. I have tried to help in various ways, and everything came to a head a fe...	sarahGee	10	2890	Oct 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	They say it comes in waves - mom has cancer. (Preview) I apologize for the barrage of posts. I mentioned yesterday that my mom was sick & going through tests. My dad just called me (mom still not speaking to me) - Dr says mom has cancer. She is having surgery on Thursday this coming week, so their trip was cancelled. They don't know much now, but will kno...	sarahGee	7	612	Oct 14, 2016 by sarahGee
	Crush on a guy (Preview) Yep I have a crush on a guy that doesn't have a clue about me ,I don't think anyway,his now x wife divorced him for I don't know why reason,I knew him a bit back in my teen yrs just hanging out with ppl,I pm him we had a very brief conversation about nothing really ,then I saw I had a missed call from him on my mess...	lookingup	8	621	Oct 14, 2016 by hotrod
	New to Al-Anon (Preview) I'm brand now to Al-Anon but not new to the effects that alcoholism has had on me as a person, not the effects it and drugs are having on my family and I now.	Gary1957	6	533	Oct 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	My Giant Thumb (Preview) Has shrunk so much. Its so good. It does inflate now and again and I get the whole 'I know best' 'do what I say' the whole you should... kind of vibe on the go but mostly my ego and my thumb is down to relatively realistic proportions. Hows your thumb these days?	el-cee	13	724	Oct 14, 2016 by jojo8466
	Honouring my feelings (Preview) Feeling quite low today. Time of the month. Anyway in the past I had always felt obliged to put on a happy pollyanna face for AH. Enabling his illusion that my life is wonderful. Ie that he is a fabulous husband and his daily drinking is normal. Now, when I am down. I own it. I act it, I am true to myself I will n...	Calm Lady	16	696	Oct 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Trying to heal from the storm (Preview) Hi, I am severely depressed and I just don't know how to get through this feeling of betrayal. I have been dating an alcoholic for over a year. We just recently broke up. I know it needed to happen. There were just to many negatives to keep this relationship afloat 1) No intimacy (he's unable to get an ere...	starcatcher2	33	4420	Oct 13, 2016 by starcatcher2
	Courage to Change (C2C) 10/13/16 (Preview) Good morning MIP family - happy Thursday! Today's reading talks about the Al-Anon slogan of "Easy Does It". Before coming to Al-Anon, the insanity and chaos often was too much. We, without intent, did not consider that joining in, slamming doors, shouting, etc. was not the best way to handle alrea...	Iamhere	4	562	Oct 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	The Band-Aid That Wouldn't Come Off (Preview) Sigh. Last weekend x(I thought) abf asked if he could come over and I said no, I don't want you to, sorry. I guess we still hadn't had "the talk" but it's been months since we've seen each other and we talk less than once a week now (and only if he's drunk and calls me anyway). Anyway he called before and he st...	MissM	14	776	Oct 13, 2016 by lookingup
	Ah relapsed again and moving out again (Preview) Well my ah who has relapsed a couple of times is moving out. Me- don't know what to do bc he just can't seem to stay sober and won't let things go and doesn't keep his promises to attend aa meetings or blah, blah...Him- wants to be sober but can't figure out what is wrong to not stay in recovery, and didn't wan...	Helpangel	8	687	Oct 13, 2016 by e_i_m
	Now that I'm sleeping better I'm having nightmares! (Preview) I have put a lot of work into improving my sleep and it has brought me a lot more sanity during the day. It has taken a big overhall. I've decreased my caffeine intake, Set an earlier bedtime, had to work on how to get back to sleep when I woke up in a panic about one thing or another. But in the past two weeks...	KT2015	4	3542	Oct 13, 2016 by e_i_m
	Realize its me (Preview) Things in the home front has been great. Sobriety remains in the home. That is a miracle. However, I find myself very miserable. I feel the anger inside me building up. I am so use to the insanity that now that there is structure and sanity I find it hard to deal with. I am not sure how to respond to it. Everyt...	joker	3	592	Oct 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	guidance and boundaries (Preview) I have an AH. We are young with 2 small children.. AH has been to rehab and we have done couples counseling for a while now. I set boundaries and unfortunately AH responded with yes he would follow them, but didnt follow through. I had to eventually take action. Does Al Anon support this decision? I am hav...	searchingserenity	9	668	Oct 13, 2016 by searchingserenity
	Apparently I'm a "disease" now (Preview) On Thursday, in a wave of loneliness/horniness, I made a Tinder. Ex-ABF has apparently already been all over Tinder and texts me "I saw you on Tinder." Tells me Tinder is none of my business but he's been on some dates. Then proceeds to be mad because I won't be home when he is available to come pick up his c...	Thurrayya the Khajiit	8	1023	Oct 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	A blend of progress (Preview) Just wanted to take a moment and share what I thought was a hint of progress on my part.. One of my AH's complaints is that I am always getting involved in his recovery. I discovered that really what was happening is that he was pulling me into his hula hoop to handle some portion of his chaos and to get me b...	Fooled	9	693	Oct 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	Support groups/books/etc recommendations for new girlfriend of an alcoholic in recovery support family alanon alcoholic new relationship recovery advice (Preview) Hello! Can anyone recommend online support groups.. books.. any type of material really.... for dating an alcoholic? It's a new relationship - about 2 months. My boyfriend is graduating from a 30 day recovery program this weekend. He has been fighting his addiction for over 10 years and has been in m...	Lys	16	740	Oct 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	Waiting to hear "sorry." (Preview) This is something I still need to work on. I progressed to not accept abuse and such, but am still easily offended and upset by others' behaviors. If I perceive insult, slight, disrespect, or undue criticism, I will expect an apology and give stank attitude, rudeness, or snarky sarcastic comments an...	pinkchip	14	1263	Oct 12, 2016 by pinkchip
	Meetings with oneself. (Preview) I've had two today. Jest sayin'. Sorry, I really am a doofus newbie and shouldn't be holding them alone.	geems	13	662	Oct 12, 2016 by jojo8466
	I'm Not Measuring Up to His Program (Preview) I have been lurking here for over a year, and thank you all for all of the wisdom, humor and love exchanged. I was in Al-Anon many years ago, then fell away as circumstances changed. 25+ years ago met DH, who had then been in recovery for a decade...but 3 years ago went out again. 1.5 years ago he stopped dri...	Suburban Denizen	9	714	Oct 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	Boss and Friend relapsed. Grace in the Storm. (Preview) Found out a couple of days ago my boss relapsed and had an affair. While this has been really hard for me God is giving me strength to get through. Had I not just read a book on co-dependency I think I would rush into trying to "save her" mode. I have not. Insted I have been holding her accountable to her own be...	fiercefemaleflyer	1	459	Oct 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	C2C 10-12-16 (Preview) Today's page shows the value of flexibility in our concepts of recovery and happiness, as becoming attached to how things "should" be creates more work for us and can delay our journey. The author first thought a fairytale relationship would be possible if only their mate was sober. Then, after find...	Enigmatic	2	546	Oct 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	Oh Yeah - and then there is golf..... (Preview) Some of you know that I took up golf about a year ago. A bit of back-story - my father golfed m whole life. My brothers all learned to golf as kids. I was not allowed - I was pushed into girl things - tap dance (not my cup of tea), jazz dance (better but still....) and finally gymnastics (love, love, love!)...	Iamhere	6	733	Oct 11, 2016 by lookingup
	sadniss ocrina18 (Preview) thanks to all of you...we are a good support group . i have only been here for a couple of weeks maybe...but have gained encouragement ...united we stand...	wildhorsehomimy	3	588	Oct 11, 2016 by lookingup
	Silver linings. (Preview) I'm in a bad mood today. About an hour ago I threw a tantrum at my computer and the cried like an overtired 3 year old while my daughter sat staring at me in horror. So I figure I'll write it out here and try to figure out where the silver linings are. Issue 1. I had to withdraw from a couple of subjects this seme...	MissM	9	642	Oct 11, 2016 by MissM
	what's a regular relationship like?? (Preview) OK .. so it's not Facebook official .. LOL .. it's official enough. I am seeing someone exclusively .. I love every min of it and boy oh boy it would be very easy to get consumed with this relationship. He hasn't met the kids yet and will next weekend. We have been seeing each other sporadically over the...	SerenityRUS	21	3340	Oct 11, 2016 by Green Eyes
	feeling the peace of the program more and more frequently (Preview) As I have probably mentioned already I have been working through step 3 with my sponsor and almost ready to move on to step four.Â As I work away at letting things go more and more I let things go and give them to HP I feel so much more peaceful.Â I'm not always peaceful all the time but I have long periods of...	KT2015	3	552	Oct 11, 2016 by hotrod
	Alanon Thinking (Preview) Isnt it great that we have this amazing way of thinking? Im very grateful today that I can see things differently, I can think differently, I can feel good about working towards making my life a good one. For me this good life comes from my own thought processes always. Its not about material possession...	el-cee	5	753	Oct 11, 2016 by e_i_m
	Head and emotions aren't in sync (Preview) I met my daughter for lunch today,and mentioned a trip to London I am thinking of planning when I have a week off work,she has a big corparate meeting in London which involves her stopping overnight and it is an event that will involve a lot of drinking,she has said she has told people now that she is cutti...	Marcusjohn	3	617	Oct 11, 2016 by Jerry F
	When AnyOne, Any Where Reaches..... (Preview) We are know it, we've all said it and we've all probably done this to the best of our ability - Let It Begin With Me.When anyone, anywhere,reaches out for help - let the hand ofAl-Anonand Alateen always be there, andLet It Begin With Me. I made plans last week with my active son for tonight. He was to have a d...	Iamhere	10	651	Oct 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	Laugh for the day! (Preview) How many alanons does it take to screw a light bulb? None. They just detach and let it screw itself!!! -- Edited by kspec85 on Monday 10th of October 2016 05:44:30 PM	kspec85	12	800	Oct 11, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	No matter how old I get.... (Preview) My mom possibly being angry at me still gets to me. Without going into detail I didn't invite my mom to be part of a short visit with my in laws and I did so because she hasn't participated in any visits with them in the past few years. I didn't do it to hurt her or insult her I just didn't think it was important t...	KT2015	10	901	Oct 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Oct 11 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Today's reading deals with some of the survival techniques we may have used growing up or being part of the chaos of an alcoholic home. The writer speaks about 'not dealing' by escaping into a world of books and art works. He goes on to say how even when he found hims in Alanon mee...	yanksfan51	2	538	Oct 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	a little loopy (Preview) going through an emotional rollercoaster today. woke up in a good mood, almost estatic. played some upbeat music, ..then suddenly i was in tears,mourning the end of my marriage. entirely my choice and a good oe..BUT its soo sad. for so many reasons. 25 yrs in which i didnt grow,go to school or further m...	YARNCRAZY	5	532	Oct 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today 10-10-16 (Preview) Today's Hope for Today page has a tool that I have found to be extremely useful: using Step 1 backwards. It goes like this: I don't always correctly identify things I am powerless over or should not be trying to control. I do know, however, when I am feeling that things are unmanageable. When I am feeling...	Enigmatic	11	636	Oct 11, 2016 by lookingup
	Rescue dog (Preview) I gained a new addition to my little family yesterday -- Bosco, the Boston Terrier. He's a 9 year old sassy and sophisticated senior and has merged seamlessly in with the other pets (another Boston and two cats). These sweet pets are so healing and therapeutic (and fun!). It's really hard for me to feel...	e_i_m	14	714	Oct 11, 2016 by lookingup
	short tolerance span. (Preview) Jeepers this disease has taken its toll. I am finding it incredibly difficult to find compassion or tolerance for the willfully ill. The loved one in question is so sick! So martyred and controlling and just bloody crazy. I don't know if recognising this is because they've gotten sicker or I've gotte...	a4l	7	764	Oct 11, 2016 by el-cee
	NewComer (Preview) Good Morning, I hope this is the correct place to post this introduction. As indicated, I am a newcomer to Alanon and so happy to have found this resource. I live in a small town with only a couple of meetings per week, not well attended even so. I took my 24 year old son to treatment this past Friday. i was fi...	RecoveryMom1491	7	589	Oct 10, 2016 by Jerry F
	Choosing to disengage (Preview) Today is our Canadian Thanksgiving. We have not heard from our son and do not expect to. That is his choice and we are learning to live with it. We were invited to a sister's outdoor cookout but chose not to go. She also has invited one nephew who is an 'in the closet' alcoholic. In the closet because no one i...	deacon	5	651	Oct 10, 2016 by Iamhere
	Wavering in my resolve to set boundaries (Preview) Dh and I decided we are going to give the twins a choice: sobriety and they can live here or not living a sober life out there. This will leave them homeless because after nearly 4 years of the stealing, drinking, lying, drugs, puking, etc other family members are done allowing the chaos in their homes as...	themoonandthestars	7	799	Oct 10, 2016 by lgnutah
	I would like to find a sponsor here (Preview) I cannot attend face to face meetings but would love to find a sponsor who can help guide me through the steps. How do I go about finding a sponsor? If it helps someone decide if they are a good fit for me-I have been coming to this online site for almost four years. I came because I finally realized that my (...	lgnutah	1	502	Oct 10, 2016 by hotrod
	Living the single life (Preview) I'm going on 3 mths being single for the 1st time in my life,wow,lol.i can laugh about it now for I always thought it to being impossible to do without a qualifier in my life,there's down days and good days,im finding everyday to be a healing day,it's totally diff,living alone and without any qualifier...	lookingup	12	769	Oct 10, 2016 by andromeda
	Tallinn Al Anon 23th birthday... (Preview) Yes today will be Tallinn Al Anon 23. Birthday and i as organizer of it feel bit scary as i am not sure in guidelines still....praying for serenity over myself...	kadriliisa	6	734	Oct 9, 2016 by hotrod
	Can't stop worrying? (Preview) I can't seem to stop worrying. I got home from a great day with my 13 yo daughter to find an empty house. None of my 3 boys are responding to my texts. That's a bad sign. Dh isn't here and I just don't feel strong enough to deal with drunk/high teens. It was just a week ago when someone dumped one of them in my yar...	themoonandthestars	6	667	Oct 9, 2016 by Iamhere
	And.....it's here - grateful (Preview) Today is the day...29 years ago, right about now, I woke up in a treatment center that I arrived at the night before. I arrived in a 'state' so, upon awakening on 10/8/87, I began a journey like no other. Had someone, anyone told me then I would be here now, I would have laughed in their face and probably s...	Iamhere	19	763	Oct 9, 2016 by Iamhere
	Sunday Grattitudes n Stuff (Preview) I've been kind of morose and defeatist of late and I think gratitude might be the cure so, I'm trying to be on a gratitude binge. So far so good. This morning I woke reasonably early and lazed in bed for a good hour writing and daydreaming and being grateful for Sunday. I then suggested to my offspring that...	MissM	8	620	Oct 9, 2016 by Fooled
	Apple! (Preview) Is there anything more annoying than the sound of a sloppy drunk eating an apple? * Pauses to think **. Nope, don't think there is. As she quickly dashes off to another room to escape it!!	Calm Lady	13	553	Oct 9, 2016 by Calm Lady
	C2C Reading 10-9-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for October 9 speaks about our attitude toward God. It suggests that prior to program, many of us have had an adversarial relationship with God. We were engaged in the battle of wills and we didn't want God to win. We refused to accept God was all powerful and many therefore hit a huge, e...	hotrod	4	538	Oct 9, 2016 by tucker
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.