Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It has been months since I have posted anything on here. I haven't been really practicing my program & haven't been to very many meetings. I feel kind of ashamed to admit that I may be backsliding into some of my old behaviors. I miss being on here but sometimes feel what I say may go on a deaf ear since I...

MidnightOwl · MidnightOwl

So today I did things a little differently. AH is working from home, and drinking while doing it. While part of me wanted to feel sorry for myself, I reminded myself that's his choice and what will my choice be? Always have that plan B :) I went to the gym, ran errands, cleaned house, all things that made me...

LinSC · LinSC

Are they somehow linked? Why do some of us get away from our qualifiers and then find ourselves once again in a similar relationship? Do we miss the drama? Is it somehow "passion" we are really looking for? Are we drawn in by drama mistaking it for passion? Just thinking about this today, what do you thin...

MissM · MissM

Today's c2c speaks of the miracles that result from finding al-anon and realising that we are not alone, and our situation is not hopeless after all. Learning that others have been through the awful emotions that come with trying to live with someone else's alcoholism- and that they have not only got...

MissM · MissM

I like Magpies. They're smart. When my daughter was just learning to toddle around our back yard, many moons ago, a magpie family started to visit each day when we were outside. Mum and dad would sit on the fence and watch while baby magpie and my teetering offspring chased each other very slowly around...

jojo8466 · jojo8466

Why in some posters posts and replies does their message have a black diamond with a white question mark in it after the sentences??

hiraeth · hiraeth

Does online sponsorship exist? I was just reading, and one of the important ways to work the program is by having a sponsor. I'm very isolated here and don't have access to Al-anon meetings. Working full time with kids makes is impossible to travel the 6-hr round trip it would be to the closest Al-anon m...

Fooled · Fooled

I am not happy. There I said it. I am not happy its more than just unhappiness its unrest. Its every morning not wanting to get out of bed because I have responsibilities to face that should not be just mine. My A is an emotional and physical cripple that just cannot handle any type of responsibility...

el-cee · el-cee

I love that slogan, sounds so simple and can role of the tongue without much meaning but today I can see that everything passes, good times, bad times, the lot. My dis-ease raised its ugly head the last couple of days, got stuck in my own head and it was all me, me, me. Why cant I control the people in my life?...

Prissykitty · Prissykitty

My DH is an alcoholic. he has been "dry" since February (this time around). But even without alcohol I always found his moods erratic and unpredictable. sometimes he'd fall asleep mid sentence some days he'd be running around like crazy. i thought maybe he was bipolar. well six weeks ago I found out...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Please take this with the tongue and cheek fair reference it is intended..... I am in no way trying to detract from the alcoholic disease or lifestyle. Another poster referred to manipulation as a roller coaster and believe me I can understand. It was that post that started my brain along this track...

kspec85 · kspec85

I just cancelled the insurance on abf's vehicle. He has been gone five days, I am the one paying for it, and its in my name. He is not even listed as a driver. I do not want the liability if he causes an accident driving under the influence. The vehicle is in his name though. Should I notify him, or assume that...

Crau · Crau

That moment when you realize that you were just manipulated is eye opening. When the dust settles in the drama that is so not nessesary and you see the true function on the interaction is actually quick sickening. Do you react? Call a person out? Let it go? Of file it in the "I may need to use this later" m...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

I'm trying to get myself out of tough moments like missing what seemed like a time of hope for my marriage/family, feeling lonely, or just sadness connected to the deep dark loss I feel, etc, by turning the focus on me. When I do it registers in my head as giving something to myself by focusing on me and tak...

hiraeth · hiraeth

I'm having a bit of difficulty here. Yesterday morning I received the sad news that my mother has relapsed. She'd been sober for about 6 months. I have ostracized myself from my entire family so have barely had contact with her for the past couple of years, so I learned that she has begun drinking again v...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses how we learn to accept life on life's terms - and the rewards for practicing this in all our affairs. The reading discusses how many of us wanted change and expected change. Many of us had even tried to force change and felt we were stuck in our lives. Many of us are 'doers' - '...

Aerin · Aerin

Okay so is this normal? ABF finally started AA and has been going for one week. That is of course a good step. He still admits it seems like forever to get to 30 days but it is his goal. (he still also doesn't quite grasp that this will be a lifelong recovery, as he is thinking one day he can drink socially) Any...

e_i_m · e_i_m

One of my biggest challenges in life is letting go of expectations. A favorite al-anon line is "expectations are pre-meditated resentments" (from one of the daily readers). Today, I recognized a new area of expectations leading to resentment and have the opportunity to let go of (or hang on to) thes...

chefpilsy · chefpilsy

Hi everyone - I am new here, and in great need of advice. I have been married 22 years. Husband had DUI 3 years into our marriage and lost license for two years. He did well for a number of years after that, but then I started finding little bottles around, and could easily see he was drinking but he freq...

Joba15 · Joba15

Hi I'm new to this,my husband is an alcoholic. I am trying to cope and would appreciate any advise of how to get threw each day!! He is in therapy,has a sponsor and is trying to work threw this. I have trouble with his lies and the fact I can't control his disease. I think I need advice of how to make changes...

Fooled · Fooled

So RAH and I did not have a great day. On the way to IOP day 2 I asked him about the mandatory AA meetings which I know he hates. He came back with well I thought I was doing the faith based meetings. I said well they are only held on Fridays what about the other 3? Ill take you but I was just wondering abo...

hiraeth · hiraeth

Yikes. I'm going on a bit of a tiz - I can feel it! I've come here to seek your wisdom and to share. All these thoughts and feelings are very familiar ***Edited at the request of the member who posted*** So, I'm experienced with loving alcoholics, and it gives me this idea that I know how it works (LOL!!! I kn...

jocelgp · jocelgp

There goes my 83 year old mom again. As I've said in my other posts I try not to bother myself with my husband's whereabouts trusting that the truth will be revealed as to where he goes everyday. I think it will show sooner or later. He doesn't go out at night but he would always leave after lunch and come...

lookingup · lookingup

I only really have 2 places to do my venting,you all be my no 1 place and only place right now ,my no 2 place is my counselor which I haven't talked to in a year,I try to not vent to my foo or freinds for they really don't understand me to which I'm a new person with alanon knowledge I have,my life seems to be a mes...

wildhorsehomimy · wildhorsehomimy

this is my first time trying to post on the message board...dont't know how really...but just to say when i give up my imagined control, i find rest

Iamhere · Iamhere

Happy Thursday to one and all! Today's reading is about staying open in recovery. No matter how long we have been around, keeping our minds and hearts open for opportunities to learn will help us continue to grow in our spiritual program. Even if we've been around a long while, there is always someth...

lookingup · lookingup

Just reading some of my old posts,thinking..did I really say that?lol,didnt sound like me,the me I thought I knew,lol.for a sec.thought someone else had posted it.no it was actually me,such growth,I saw in myself in my postings,I have come along way........thank you alanon!!.....lu

dragonflyinn · dragonflyinn

I wrote my first post earlier this week about my A ex husband and concerns regarding the safety of our children when they are with him. Since that time, I did some research and found that he had an extreme DUI back in Jan, served 8 days in jail and 22 days of in home detention and he never told me about it. He l...

kspec85 · kspec85

So Monday I told abf that if he wanted to live like a drug addict, he could go live with drug addicts. Hes been gone ever since. He came by my house yesterday while I was at work and took his motorcycle. I did not see where he took any clothes. I feel like a fool for missing him. I had some brand new locks in the ho...

aloraine22 · aloraine22

This is my first time doing something like this... at this point, I don't even know if it will be worth it. I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year now. I have been doing everything I can to show him love and support since I discovered he had a problem with alcohol. I spoke with his mother every sing...

fiercefemaleflyer · fiercefemaleflyer

Hello Group, I have been purposely giving my recovering alcoholic some space. Tonight I gave in and engaged. We had a great meaningful conversation. So meaningful he opened up to me more than he has in a bit. He told me that he has been so busy going through the motions lately that he hasn't put much thoug...

andromeda · andromeda

Hi everyone, I am going through my steps once again with my sponsor. I wanted to find out what your thoughts were about step 3. How did you feel working through it? What challenges were present in your life at that time? Was it a pivotal step to your recovery and why? I hope this topic helps others who...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

AH wasn't home 2 days from his heartfelt "can't do this anymore" plea to sober up and get back into programs etc...and yes, come home. Started to wind himself up over something that became his last excuse for a bender. I ignored it. Then he goes and says we need to go over the bills because I've been wastin...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's C2C addresses those times when we are down, feel lost, and everything we think of has a bad ending. Those times... A tool AlAnon recommends trying is "Think". Not in the "continue to think about the negatives" way, but in the C2C p. 64 way: 1) Stop reacting, obsessing, worrying about the future...

e_i_m · e_i_m

I was sitting in bed after just waking up this morning and I saw my laundry basket. I have had this laundry basket for at least 17 years. It's just a simple wicker basket with handles. Nothing unusual at all. I had been shopping at one of my favorite thrift stores a few days ago and had seen a similar one and t...

El · El

Wow. I had such a strong presence of my HP walking with me today. I have been reading about folks using God boxes and I have a slightly different version.... in that I actually sit down and draw.... sending any specific worry or concern or need of guidance up to my HP (whom I call God). I am not an artist b...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Really love the posts on laundry baskets etc. I was feeling a loss of confidence this morning[lack of job] and it made me smile. I have 2 purple baskets that i ahem [borrowed] from the 99c store. I use them for laundry as they have good handles and fit two loads in them. I have to descend a small amount of ste...

Ann_M_Y · Ann_M_Y

I am feeling very conflicted. I hate my AH when he is drinking but I love him when he is not. He went 4 days without drinking and I was starting to think that it might stick this time. I am leaving for a work trip for a week. I am looking forward to it because it will give me a break but I also fear it too. I will be wo...

Ceelee · Ceelee

My AH went to a rehab this morning. Why do I have a conflict going on inside? I'm happy he is getting the help he needs. I'm scared that he won't get the help he needs. I'm scared about money because he is the breadwinner and we are already way behind on our bills. I have some convoluted responsibility somew...

Fooled · Fooled

Today was AH first day of iop. Intensive Outpatient. Now I know this is not just about me and I do have a tendency to be self righteous so please tell me if I am doing so. I went to work early so I could take him as he cannot drive. I mainly work from home, but 4 days a week I have meetings in various locati...

Dlove · Dlove

I am so disgusted with myself, with my AH and with alcoholism. I am having a pity party and I need to vent so I can move on. My AH was clean and sober for 13 years. We have been together for almost 13 years and about a year ago he started drinking. This behavior was new to me. I never dealt with an alcoholic befor...

El · El

Tonight is my weekly home meeting and I usually look forward to it and feel the need for it. However, I decided to concentrate on program materials at home instead. I did a ton of running around today; constantly in and out of the car and tending to others' needs.....namely my 90 year old mother. Hubb...

Tossed Salad · Tossed Salad

I am a very grateful member of this fellowship and think I have a pretty good handle on managing the day to day craziness from my exAH. Unfortunately, he is lashing out at me more viciously than ever this past week. I use my tools and can weather the harsh words without taking it personally. I turn him a...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

I woke up today on a great fall day , feeling great, after nine months of a new relationship with a non drinker. An angel I might add. :) But for some reason, and maybe it is another step along my path to recovery and healing (?) I ended up on the computer writing a letter to my ex alcoholic bf. I sat down to do wo...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I don't know what it is but something is up with my son. God grant me the serenity for the things I can not change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference ((( hugs )))

Jerry F · Jerry F

So I went down town to the bay and the hotel neighborhood because I thought (another brag) there would be a meeting of political interest I could attend and I couldn't find it and what I did find was so warm and loving. I turned a corner to go back to my van and there she was all beautiful and smiling and fu...

KT2015 · KT2015

Every day in this program I feel I am making progress. I have been utilizing the God Box and that really helps me to hand things over or let them go. I'm learning to focus more and more on myself and my actions. I realized that I was having difficulty with sleep and I wasn't really doing much to improve it...

tired of it · tired of it

I really want to ask my AH if he thinks I am an idiot when it comes to his sneaking drinks at night. I know when he is drinking but I am not supposed to confront him and if I did he would just lie anyway. So my question is this: do you know that we know when you are drinking even when we don't say anything? I don...

themoonandthestars · themoonandthestars

This popped up in my fb feed this am. JUST what I needed to know that I have done enough for my qualifiers.

Thurrayya the Khajiit · Thurrayya the Khajiit

My ex-ABH moved out Friday. I was so relieved Friday night that I got a brilliant night's sleep. But then when I woke up the next morning, I saw the horrendous mess that my apartment had become. A lot of it was him. I remember earlier in the week my dishwasher got fixed and he said "so does this mean you will...

Gbracero123 · Gbracero123

I am NEW to this site and the concept of al-anon but am no stranger to being dragged along by an alcoholic loved one . About two years ago while in the middle of extreme crisis - living in and out of homeless shelters and sleeping on and off everyone's couch and even in my car with my three children I came acro...

MissM · MissM

Oh so very grateful today for the time I have spent thus far honing my al-anon tools and yes, even for the miserable, alcohol soaked, codependent relationship that brought me here in the first place. Every minute of it, as it turns out. See, this almost 14 year old that I share a house with just becomes mo...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Wow--this reading hits home with me today. The writer describes a kitchen she has lived with for over 20 years. She doesn't like the pattern of the wallpaper, but has been worried about taking it down because she isn't sure what will be underneath. Ultimately she does decid...

Marcusjohn · Marcusjohn

went to my first al-aLon meeting,very glad I went was very nerve racking,but felt I fitted in,defo will go back.thanks to the people who suggested for me to go to an face to face meeting

Gbracero123 · Gbracero123

Yesterday I found this site and have found some posts here that were really relatable offering a level of support while I was simultaneously being emotionally accosted by my ABF. Got cursed out all day on and off , had videos sent to me ranging from what would be considered "romantic " to hardcore rap...

dragonflyinn · dragonflyinn

Hi, I am new to the boards. This is my first post. I was with my ex for 18 years. We had been married for 11, and have been divorced for 2. We have three young children (range from 8-6). He drank a lot when we were married, but would not have classified him as an "alcholic" at the time (but I may have been bl...

fiercefemaleflyer · fiercefemaleflyer

I have read a few good books on co-dependancy. I know there is an AA book with steps in it. Was just wondering if there was an Al-Anon equivilant? thanks

fiercefemaleflyer · fiercefemaleflyer

As I read more and more of your stories and think about the relationships I have with quite a few recovering alcohilics. It dawned on me. What have you all done to maintain successfull relationships with the recovering alcoholics in your lives? What kinf of success stories do you all have?

kspec85 · kspec85

So today I called abf on my lunch. Sobriety was ok until last week when he drank a couple times. I totally maintained my serenity and was proud of how I handled myself. Anyways I called him on lunch and a funky intuition went off within me. He said he had stopped at a drugstore to use the bathroom and now he wa...

burr1017 · burr1017

Been with my ABF for 3+ years. He drank daily the first 2 years but after several "incidences" and a couple brief break ups, he's realized his drinking is a problem and has drastically cut down in the last year. He'd quit drinking entirely for 2.5-3 months, after another irresponsible incident, then s...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I am somewhat nervous. (Preview) It has been months since I have posted anything on here. I haven't been really practicing my program & haven't been to very many meetings. I feel kind of ashamed to admit that I may be backsliding into some of my old behaviors. I miss being on here but sometimes feel what I say may go on a deaf ear since I...	Hoot Nanny	2	373	Oct 8, 2016 by hotrod
	Progress (Preview) So today I did things a little differently. AH is working from home, and drinking while doing it. While part of me wanted to feel sorry for myself, I reminded myself that's his choice and what will my choice be? Always have that plan B :) I went to the gym, ran errands, cleaned house, all things that made me...	MidnightOwl	6	424	Oct 8, 2016 by LinSC
	Drama and Passion (Preview) Are they somehow linked? Why do some of us get away from our qualifiers and then find ourselves once again in a similar relationship? Do we miss the drama? Is it somehow "passion" we are really looking for? Are we drawn in by drama mistaking it for passion? Just thinking about this today, what do you thin...	LinSC	6	450	Oct 8, 2016 by a4l
	Courage To Change 8/10 (Preview) Today's c2c speaks of the miracles that result from finding al-anon and realising that we are not alone, and our situation is not hopeless after all. Learning that others have been through the awful emotions that come with trying to live with someone else's alcoholism- and that they have not only got...	MissM	2	311	Oct 8, 2016 by hotrod
	Funny little exercise in detachment. (Preview) I like Magpies. They're smart. When my daughter was just learning to toddle around our back yard, many moons ago, a magpie family started to visit each day when we were outside. Mum and dad would sit on the fence and watch while baby magpie and my teetering offspring chased each other very slowly around...	MissM	9	607	Oct 7, 2016 by hotrod
	Off topic... (Preview) Why in some posters posts and replies does their message have a black diamond with a white question mark in it after the sentences??	jojo8466	3	280	Oct 7, 2016 by jojo8466
	online sponsorship? (Preview) Does online sponsorship exist? I was just reading, and one of the important ways to work the program is by having a sponsor. I'm very isolated here and don't have access to Al-anon meetings. Working full time with kids makes is impossible to travel the 6-hr round trip it would be to the closest Al-anon m...	hiraeth	6	831	Oct 7, 2016 by DavidG
	More than depression (Preview) I am not happy. There I said it. I am not happy its more than just unhappiness its unrest. Its every morning not wanting to get out of bed because I have responsibilities to face that should not be just mine. My A is an emotional and physical cripple that just cannot handle any type of responsibility...	Fooled	8	591	Oct 7, 2016 by Fooled
	This too shall pass!! (Preview) I love that slogan, sounds so simple and can role of the tongue without much meaning but today I can see that everything passes, good times, bad times, the lot. My dis-ease raised its ugly head the last couple of days, got stuck in my own head and it was all me, me, me. Why cant I control the people in my life?...	el-cee	6	930	Oct 7, 2016 by KT2015
	New to al anon-not new to living with an alcoholic (Preview) My DH is an alcoholic. he has been "dry" since February (this time around). But even without alcohol I always found his moods erratic and unpredictable. sometimes he'd fall asleep mid sentence some days he'd be running around like crazy. i thought maybe he was bipolar. well six weeks ago I found out...	Prissykitty	4	468	Oct 7, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	The Fair (Preview) Please take this with the tongue and cheek fair reference it is intended..... I am in no way trying to detract from the alcoholic disease or lifestyle. Another poster referred to manipulation as a roller coaster and believe me I can understand. It was that post that started my brain along this track...	Doingmybest	5	362	Oct 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	Cancelling Insurance (Preview) I just cancelled the insurance on abf's vehicle. He has been gone five days, I am the one paying for it, and its in my name. He is not even listed as a driver. I do not want the liability if he causes an accident driving under the influence. The vehicle is in his name though. Should I notify him, or assume that...	kspec85	6	427	Oct 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	Manipulation (Preview) That moment when you realize that you were just manipulated is eye opening. When the dust settles in the drama that is so not nessesary and you see the true function on the interaction is actually quick sickening. Do you react? Call a person out? Let it go? Of file it in the "I may need to use this later" m...	Crau	7	869	Oct 7, 2016 by 2HP
	Am I Doing This Wrong? (Preview) I'm trying to get myself out of tough moments like missing what seemed like a time of hope for my marriage/family, feeling lonely, or just sadness connected to the deep dark loss I feel, etc, by turning the focus on me. When I do it registers in my head as giving something to myself by focusing on me and tak...	sunmustshine	5	443	Oct 7, 2016 by 2HP
	mother relapsed, sister homeless, I'm struggling with surrender (Preview) I'm having a bit of difficulty here. Yesterday morning I received the sad news that my mother has relapsed. She'd been sober for about 6 months. I have ostracized myself from my entire family so have barely had contact with her for the past couple of years, so I learned that she has begun drinking again v...	hiraeth	5	1992	Oct 7, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage to Change (C2C) 10/7/16 (Preview) Today's reading discusses how we learn to accept life on life's terms - and the rewards for practicing this in all our affairs. The reading discusses how many of us wanted change and expected change. Many of us had even tried to force change and felt we were stuck in our lives. Many of us are 'doers' - '...	Iamhere	1	279	Oct 7, 2016 by hotrod
	A in AA one week and acting smug (Preview) Okay so is this normal? ABF finally started AA and has been going for one week. That is of course a good step. He still admits it seems like forever to get to 30 days but it is his goal. (he still also doesn't quite grasp that this will be a lifelong recovery, as he is thinking one day he can drink socially) Any...	Aerin	21	636	Oct 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	Expectations (Preview) One of my biggest challenges in life is letting go of expectations. A favorite al-anon line is "expectations are pre-meditated resentments" (from one of the daily readers). Today, I recognized a new area of expectations leading to resentment and have the opportunity to let go of (or hang on to) thes...	e_i_m	6	503	Oct 7, 2016 by Rosemeyer
	Dealing with DUIs (Preview) Hi everyone - I am new here, and in great need of advice. I have been married 22 years. Husband had DUI 3 years into our marriage and lost license for two years. He did well for a number of years after that, but then I started finding little bottles around, and could easily see he was drinking but he freq...	chefpilsy	8	379	Oct 7, 2016 by chefpilsy
	New to this just looking for advice (Preview) Hi I'm new to this,my husband is an alcoholic. I am trying to cope and would appreciate any advise of how to get threw each day!! He is in therapy,has a sponsor and is trying to work threw this. I have trouble with his lies and the fact I can't control his disease. I think I need advice of how to make changes...	Joba15	4	357	Oct 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Mighty to save (Preview) So RAH and I did not have a great day. On the way to IOP day 2 I asked him about the mandatory AA meetings which I know he hates. He came back with well I thought I was doing the faith based meetings. I said well they are only held on Fridays what about the other 3? Ill take you but I was just wondering abo...	Fooled	15	423	Oct 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	please help (Preview) Yikes. I'm going on a bit of a tiz - I can feel it! I've come here to seek your wisdom and to share. All these thoughts and feelings are very familiar *Edited at the request of the member who posted* So, I'm experienced with loving alcoholics, and it gives me this idea that I know how it works (LOL!!! I kn...	hiraeth	9	533	Oct 6, 2016 by DavidG
	my mom's remark made me feel bad (Preview) There goes my 83 year old mom again. As I've said in my other posts I try not to bother myself with my husband's whereabouts trusting that the truth will be revealed as to where he goes everyday. I think it will show sooner or later. He doesn't go out at night but he would always leave after lunch and come...	jocelgp	11	512	Oct 6, 2016 by maryjane
	Life's a mess (Preview) I only really have 2 places to do my venting,you all be my no 1 place and only place right now ,my no 2 place is my counselor which I haven't talked to in a year,I try to not vent to my foo or freinds for they really don't understand me to which I'm a new person with alanon knowledge I have,my life seems to be a mes...	lookingup	8	459	Oct 6, 2016 by maryjane
	"control to rest" ocarina18 (Preview) this is my first time trying to post on the message board...dont't know how really...but just to say when i give up my imagined control, i find rest	wildhorsehomimy	6	1055	Oct 6, 2016 by maryjane
	Courage to Change (C2C) 10/6/16 (Preview) Happy Thursday to one and all! Today's reading is about staying open in recovery. No matter how long we have been around, keeping our minds and hearts open for opportunities to learn will help us continue to grow in our spiritual program. Even if we've been around a long while, there is always someth...	Iamhere	8	364	Oct 6, 2016 by Jerry F
	Reading my old posts,funny (Preview) Just reading some of my old posts,thinking..did I really say that?lol,didnt sound like me,the me I thought I knew,lol.for a sec.thought someone else had posted it.no it was actually me,such growth,I saw in myself in my postings,I have come along way........thank you alanon!!.....lu	lookingup	5	387	Oct 6, 2016 by lookingup
	Is this part of my "disease"? (Preview) I wrote my first post earlier this week about my A ex husband and concerns regarding the safety of our children when they are with him. Since that time, I did some research and found that he had an extreme DUI back in Jan, served 8 days in jail and 22 days of in home detention and he never told me about it. He l...	dragonflyinn	9	594	Oct 6, 2016 by el-cee
	Four Days Gone (Preview) So Monday I told abf that if he wanted to live like a drug addict, he could go live with drug addicts. Hes been gone ever since. He came by my house yesterday while I was at work and took his motorcycle. I did not see where he took any clothes. I feel like a fool for missing him. I had some brand new locks in the ho...	kspec85	5	398	Oct 6, 2016 by sunmustshine
	Guilt (Preview) This is my first time doing something like this... at this point, I don't even know if it will be worth it. I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year now. I have been doing everything I can to show him love and support since I discovered he had a problem with alcohol. I spoke with his mother every sing...	aloraine22	5	368	Oct 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Mind and Emotions in Frenzy (Preview) Hello Group, I have been purposely giving my recovering alcoholic some space. Tonight I gave in and engaged. We had a great meaningful conversation. So meaningful he opened up to me more than he has in a bit. He told me that he has been so busy going through the motions lately that he hasn't put much thoug...	fiercefemaleflyer	2	342	Oct 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Step 3? (Preview) Hi everyone, I am going through my steps once again with my sponsor. I wanted to find out what your thoughts were about step 3. How did you feel working through it? What challenges were present in your life at that time? Was it a pivotal step to your recovery and why? I hope this topic helps others who...	andromeda	4	800	Oct 6, 2016 by Jerry F
	Gave the trouble he was looking for (Preview) AH wasn't home 2 days from his heartfelt "can't do this anymore" plea to sober up and get back into programs etc...and yes, come home. Started to wind himself up over something that became his last excuse for a bender. I ignored it. Then he goes and says we need to go over the bills because I've been wastin...	sunmustshine	18	611	Oct 5, 2016 by Jen61
	C2C 10-5-16 Think (Preview) Today's C2C addresses those times when we are down, feel lost, and everything we think of has a bad ending. Those times... A tool AlAnon recommends trying is "Think". Not in the "continue to think about the negatives" way, but in the C2C p. 64 way: 1) Stop reacting, obsessing, worrying about the future...	Enigmatic	6	337	Oct 5, 2016 by sunmustshine
	I love my laundry basket (Preview) I was sitting in bed after just waking up this morning and I saw my laundry basket. I have had this laundry basket for at least 17 years. It's just a simple wicker basket with handles. Nothing unusual at all. I had been shopping at one of my favorite thrift stores a few days ago and had seen a similar one and t...	e_i_m	21	569	Oct 5, 2016 by hotrod
	Feeling the presence of HP (Preview) Wow. I had such a strong presence of my HP walking with me today. I have been reading about folks using God boxes and I have a slightly different version.... in that I actually sit down and draw.... sending any specific worry or concern or need of guidance up to my HP (whom I call God). I am not an artist b...	El	3	340	Oct 5, 2016 by e_i_m
	Grateful for small things (Preview) Really love the posts on laundry baskets etc. I was feeling a loss of confidence this morning[lack of job] and it made me smile. I have 2 purple baskets that i ahem [borrowed] from the 99c store. I use them for laundry as they have good handles and fit two loads in them. I have to descend a small amount of ste...	YARNCRAZY	2	330	Oct 5, 2016 by Jerry F
	Can you hate and love someone at the same time? (Preview) I am feeling very conflicted. I hate my AH when he is drinking but I love him when he is not. He went 4 days without drinking and I was starting to think that it might stick this time. I am leaving for a work trip for a week. I am looking forward to it because it will give me a break but I also fear it too. I will be wo...	Ann_M_Y	21	874	Oct 5, 2016 by Jerry F
	My AH went to rehab / self pity rant (Preview) My AH went to a rehab this morning. Why do I have a conflict going on inside? I'm happy he is getting the help he needs. I'm scared that he won't get the help he needs. I'm scared about money because he is the breadwinner and we are already way behind on our bills. I have some convoluted responsibility somew...	Ceelee	13	623	Oct 5, 2016 by Ceelee
	First day (Preview) Today was AH first day of iop. Intensive Outpatient. Now I know this is not just about me and I do have a tendency to be self righteous so please tell me if I am doing so. I went to work early so I could take him as he cannot drive. I mainly work from home, but 4 days a week I have meetings in various locati...	Fooled	7	348	Oct 5, 2016 by Fooled
	Disgusted! (Preview) I am so disgusted with myself, with my AH and with alcoholism. I am having a pity party and I need to vent so I can move on. My AH was clean and sober for 13 years. We have been together for almost 13 years and about a year ago he started drinking. This behavior was new to me. I never dealt with an alcoholic befor...	Dlove	13	605	Oct 5, 2016 by hiraeth
	Al-Anon at home tonight (Preview) Tonight is my weekly home meeting and I usually look forward to it and feel the need for it. However, I decided to concentrate on program materials at home instead. I did a ton of running around today; constantly in and out of the car and tending to others' needs.....namely my 90 year old mother. Hubb...	El	3	319	Oct 5, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Just want peace... (Preview) I am a very grateful member of this fellowship and think I have a pretty good handle on managing the day to day craziness from my exAH. Unfortunately, he is lashing out at me more viciously than ever this past week. I use my tools and can weather the harsh words without taking it personally. I turn him a...	Tossed Salad	3	384	Oct 5, 2016 by Calm Lady
	wrote a letter to my ex abf, and just sent to myself. healing. (Preview) I woke up today on a great fall day , feeling great, after nine months of a new relationship with a non drinker. An angel I might add. :) But for some reason, and maybe it is another step along my path to recovery and healing (?) I ended up on the computer writing a letter to my ex alcoholic bf. I sat down to do wo...	giraffe13	4	431	Oct 4, 2016 by giraffe13
	Something is up (Preview) I don't know what it is but something is up with my son. God grant me the serenity for the things I can not change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference ((( hugs )))	Cathyinaz	33	4074	Oct 4, 2016 by LinSC
	God Gifts... (Preview) So I went down town to the bay and the hotel neighborhood because I thought (another brag) there would be a meeting of political interest I could attend and I couldn't find it and what I did find was so warm and loving. I turned a corner to go back to my van and there she was all beautiful and smiling and fu...	Jerry F	3	338	Oct 4, 2016 by hotrod
	letting go of others and keeping the focus on myself and getting more sleep! (Preview) Every day in this program I feel I am making progress. I have been utilizing the God Box and that really helps me to hand things over or let them go. I'm learning to focus more and more on myself and my actions. I realized that I was having difficulty with sleep and I wasn't really doing much to improve it...	KT2015	7	417	Oct 4, 2016 by KT2015
	Question for the A's in our group (Preview) I really want to ask my AH if he thinks I am an idiot when it comes to his sneaking drinks at night. I know when he is drinking but I am not supposed to confront him and if I did he would just lie anyway. So my question is this: do you know that we know when you are drinking even when we don't say anything? I don...	tired of it	9	501	Oct 4, 2016 by Jerry F
	Is this an Alanon motto? Is should be (Preview) This popped up in my fb feed this am. JUST what I needed to know that I have done enough for my qualifiers.	themoonandthestars	6	402	Oct 4, 2016 by Jerry F
	It's going to take more than just him being gone to heal (Preview) My ex-ABH moved out Friday. I was so relieved Friday night that I got a brilliant night's sleep. But then when I woke up the next morning, I saw the horrendous mess that my apartment had become. A lot of it was him. I remember earlier in the week my dishwasher got fixed and he said "so does this mean you will...	Thurrayya the Khajiit	2	390	Oct 4, 2016 by Iamhere
	Feeling Trapped ! Help ! (Preview) I am NEW to this site and the concept of al-anon but am no stranger to being dragged along by an alcoholic loved one . About two years ago while in the middle of extreme crisis - living in and out of homeless shelters and sleeping on and off everyone's couch and even in my car with my three children I came acro...	Gbracero123	15	580	Oct 4, 2016 by Gbracero123
	In ALL my affairs :-) (Preview) Oh so very grateful today for the time I have spent thus far honing my al-anon tools and yes, even for the miserable, alcohol soaked, codependent relationship that brought me here in the first place. Every minute of it, as it turns out. See, this almost 14 year old that I share a house with just becomes mo...	MissM	15	586	Oct 4, 2016 by MissM
	Hope for Today October 4 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Wow--this reading hits home with me today. The writer describes a kitchen she has lived with for over 20 years. She doesn't like the pattern of the wallpaper, but has been worried about taking it down because she isn't sure what will be underneath. Ultimately she does decid...	yanksfan51	5	433	Oct 4, 2016 by Iamhere
	al-alon meeting (Preview) went to my first al-aLon meeting,very glad I went was very nerve racking,but felt I fitted in,defo will go back.thanks to the people who suggested for me to go to an face to face meeting	Marcusjohn	5	1822	Oct 4, 2016 by milkwood
	Want To Be Free from this Demon! (Preview) Yesterday I found this site and have found some posts here that were really relatable offering a level of support while I was simultaneously being emotionally accosted by my ABF. Got cursed out all day on and off , had videos sent to me ranging from what would be considered "romantic " to hardcore rap...	Gbracero123	6	420	Oct 3, 2016 by Gbracero123
	Suggestions for protecting my children when ex is starting recovery? (Preview) Hi, I am new to the boards. This is my first post. I was with my ex for 18 years. We had been married for 11, and have been divorced for 2. We have three young children (range from 8-6). He drank a lot when we were married, but would not have classified him as an "alcholic" at the time (but I may have been bl...	dragonflyinn	5	314	Oct 3, 2016 by Jerry F
	Book Suggestion (Preview) I have read a few good books on co-dependancy. I know there is an AA book with steps in it. Was just wondering if there was an Al-Anon equivilant? thanks	fiercefemaleflyer	5	349	Oct 3, 2016 by fiercefemaleflyer
	Successful Relationships! (Preview) As I read more and more of your stories and think about the relationships I have with quite a few recovering alcohilics. It dawned on me. What have you all done to maintain successfull relationships with the recovering alcoholics in your lives? What kinf of success stories do you all have?	fiercefemaleflyer	12	581	Oct 3, 2016 by fiercefemaleflyer
	Just fed up and need to vent (Preview) So today I called abf on my lunch. Sobriety was ok until last week when he drank a couple times. I totally maintained my serenity and was proud of how I handled myself. Anyways I called him on lunch and a funky intuition went off within me. He said he had stopped at a drugstore to use the bathroom and now he wa...	kspec85	2	299	Oct 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Halp (Preview) Been with my ABF for 3+ years. He drank daily the first 2 years but after several "incidences" and a couple brief break ups, he's realized his drinking is a problem and has drastically cut down in the last year. He'd quit drinking entirely for 2.5-3 months, after another irresponsible incident, then s...	burr1017	2	318	Oct 3, 2016 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.