Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Fooled · Fooled

I made some big steps in detachment lately. My AS and drug user kept asking me to borrow my car and my daughters car. I was really uncomfortable with it because he is on record as a drug addict and is on probation. How he has a valid license is beyond me but he did show me the paperwork reinstating him wh...

tealfighter · tealfighter

Writing is my solace. I wrote this to "him" this morning. I don't want to react to his behaviour. I want to maintain my sanity and most of all I want to learn to respond rather than reacting. I hate you today. It is the day after my birthday. You didn't think of me. You did not call me. You did not message m...

Buckeye Girl · Buckeye Girl

I need some advice. My single adult daughter recently told me she has returned to her old habits of drinking and smoking weed. She has gone to rehab 4 times For alcoholism and drug abuse. She said the sober life wasn't her thing. She had been doing really well for the past 2 years. She was gointg to AA but la...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Why do I constantly try and change these drama addicts? Like I tried to change the alcoholic.....I was doing so well for about 2.5 years...(yay!) living peacefully, in a good place, maintaining boundaries, making friends, staying active... then I started getting closer to an individual who is ver...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hello Everyone- Today's reading is about decisions, trying to understand our HPs will for us, and paying attention to inward signs about whether we are making choices which are good and healthy for us. In the reading the following statement is quoted: 'Without God, man cannot; without man, God wil...

thekentuckygent · thekentuckygent

Long time lurker, first time poster, but I wanted to start off by saying THANK YOU to all of you for helping me feel not quite SO crazy and alone in all of this. But on to the matter at hand, long story short is that I have a friend of 8+ years that my alcoholic (ex at this point) partner has never been a fan of. I...

Haysinger · Haysinger

Newbie here. Glad I found this board. My wife is binge drinker who recently has become violent. She is in trouble with the law. I'm planning on attending my first meeting tomorrow. Any advice for a first timer? Thanks in advance!

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Hey all Haven't posted for a while. Been working my program and growing. Just wanted to kind of say out loud that as I move forward I am finding AHs drinking behaviours far harder to cope with. I obviously practice 'detach with love,' I move away, don't engage etc but wow, whereas in the past in my numb sta...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page reflects the experience of one who, looking back, recalled the great care taken at the supermarket to pick out the small but more flavorful carrots for her children's snacks. As a teen, however, her son lamented how he received the "scrawny" carrots. Ah, perspective... The writer cons...

Emma123 · Emma123

I split with my ah after he turned violent. I had to move out of our shared home. I'm finding the loss incredibly painful. Even though the breakup is for the best I miss him. We had some good times, especially early on in the relationship. I went on a couple of dates with a new man. I felt huge attraction to hi...

Prissykitty · Prissykitty

I'm struggling. I feel that as of late I've been very good at disengaging with love. We have a toddler to co-parent and so when I'm working my program I'm great at ignoring husbands mood swings. I keep my life peaceful and kind of ignore his moaning and whining. He is an insomniac and typically looks exha...

Prissykitty · Prissykitty

He's so broken. He relapsed Friday night. He hates himself. He hates his life even though he has so much he knows he should be grateful for. It breaks my heart to watch him sobbing and talking about what a horrible person he is. His dad died ten years ago tomorrow and he sobs that he misses him. He dabbled in...

Rwisdom08 · Rwisdom08

I grew up with alcoholics and married one. I am at a breaking point and have no one to turn to.

Faintly Falling · Faintly Falling

I have just returned to Al anon after a 20 year absence. I am so glad and grateful to have found a forum as it really helps me when I write things down. I promise I won't make a habit of venting my every issue but I will get this one off my chest if you don't mind. It's been building for a while. it regards yet anot...

LinSC · LinSC

"We Came, We Ate, We Left" Great One .... Thanks Tiredtonite

MissM · MissM

I know this is kind of whingy but it's making me miserable lately and seems to be my ever present woe so, maybe if I share it, it will get smaller. Sometimes it works that way. Seems like many people have walked the same path as me and separated and then moved on with someone new and things are wonderful..in...

Faintly Falling · Faintly Falling

I feel that I have been quite good about setting boundaries within the family. I know my limits and I usually instinctively know when I've been sucked in too far. But this time it's the health professional who has sucked me in like a blackhole! To explain briefly, my sister died last summer from cancer ....

Fooled · Fooled

I am not sure what it was today that kept pushing me off kilter but there was something. Nothing really concrete but a state of restless anxiety slowly burning under the surface all day. I really found myself fed up, ready to give up, hopeless, tired and weak. Like the armor I have been putting on is...

Confused16 · Confused16

My ABF has been struggling with addiction since he was a kid. We come from VERY DIFFERENT backgrounds. So needless to say, it was hard for us to understand each others way of living. My ABF struggles a lot with boundaries. He would use the excuse of seeing his kids to disappear for days on end. He would end...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for December 4 speaks about making choices. The reading points out that many times, before program we made our choices strictly on the basis of our feelings as if feelings were facts. If we were frightened about taking certain action then we avoided it, there was no middle ground and no...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm really struggling with old behaviors .. mine .. LOL. Being new into a relationship for the first time in 5 years and then dealing with the fact I'm dealing with another co-dependent which there is nothing like two codies in a relationship together .. LOL. I have to keep really strong boundaries a...

DeeS · DeeS

Thank you for this group. My mother was an alcoholic. Now my son. He is 28 years old, very bright, and the world was his for the asking. He has been a slow downward spiral for years looking back but we just didn't see it. He was in Korea when his father died and that triggered an event with Adderall. He r...

El · El

I think the program is starting to sink in! I am noticing some subtle shifts in my thoughts and behaviors. I haven't made any big proclamations to myself, but my attitude is changing. AH is away this weekend hunting. Normally, I would think that he just wants to get away to drink freely. Now, while tha...

Aerin · Aerin

ABF has been in AA for almost 90 days. He has had only 2 obvious relapses during that time and only missed only 1 meeting. (that I know of) Thats pretty good I think. However yesterday I came over and could smell just a liitle beer on him and he was acting a teeny bit off (nothing like drinking days) but I coul...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

I am really feeling sorry for myself right now. All my pent up anger has turned me into an asshole over the years...i just masked it as being 'authentic'....this is no longer a one off...this is a pattern I exhibit and it was only a matter of time before I could no longer get away with it.....i'm the common...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

I haven't been here for a while. I have been going to the face to face meeting and reading all the materials. I have also been practicing the 12 steps. I noticed something, does the addicted person's behavior get worse when the family practices the 12 steps? I have been re reading the new comers packe...

Prissykitty · Prissykitty

It's been about four months. It's 1am and I woke up because I heard husband making weird noises in the living room. He was asleep but I knew immediately something was up. Sure enough when I "woke" him he wasn't speaking English and couldn't look straight. He's not in active recovery, but I finally am. I...

Kristy66 · Kristy66

Ok, so I have never gone to a meeting. My spouse (boyfriend of 13 years) has started showing signs of binge drinking - maybe it's been happening longer than I want to admit. We have been on the roller coaster as some describe it - things are great throughout the week, and then on Friday night, he says he's g...

KT2015 · KT2015

My AH seems to find ways to take Fridays off or at least come home early on Fridays. I won't even go down the road of what a bad idea that is related to his work because it's not my problem it is his and shockingly it doesn't seem to cause him problems. But it causes me problems. He tries to refrain...

MissM · MissM

Today's C2C asks "what is meditation?" It suggests that the answer for us is to interpret in our own ways, but drawing on other member's experiences can help us to find what works for us. It suggests various interpretations such as seeking the spiritual purpose to our actions, concentrating on breat...

JosieP · JosieP

lo everyone, I am new to this group and have already taken comfort from reading your messages. My husband and I have now separated because he is an alcoholic. I am incredibly sad about this and struggling to come to terms with it because I love him but I had to end it for a number of reasons but mainly becaus...

Fooled · Fooled

For the last month or so my daughter has been the bane of my existence. I have finally have achieved happiness, and a somewhat sense of peace and serenity and I swear to all that is holy that if I thought she could be, she is doing it on purpose. Every single day she manages to push my buttons and test t...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses the concept of recovery - "Let it Begin With Me". The reading suggests it's easy for us to sit and itemize the defects of our qualifier/others. We can spend hours thinking of the ways others should/could change! Yet, not one time has this mental criticism improved anythi...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

I kept hearing talk of "Gaslighting" and then someone referenced the movie, so I went to the library and got it on DVD to watch. My AH was passed out, so I had uninterrupted time. Now I totally understand the use of that term. And last night, I saw it in action. I went out to dinner with 5 very good women...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about 'all that is Al-Anon'.....what this means is we arrive, and no matter how defeated, broken, crazy or other we are - we are invited back. Many of us are grateful for this love and acceptance, no matter our condition when we arrive. For many, Al-Anon is the last hope. The dis...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

How do we perceive ourselves and how accurate is that perception to others? Is our perception of ourselves always the same as how others perceive us? The alcoholic doesn't think they have a problem, but we all know they do...as far as they're concerned they are one thing, we see them as something comp...

MissM · MissM

What a weekend. Daughter and I went to volunteer at a very large music festival that happens in a town about 40 minutes from home. The idea is, you work for 10 hours and in return they give you an all-access pass for the entire 3 day event. Daughter wasn't required to volunteer in the end because she is too y...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

I'm not really surprised as i once would have been earlier in my recovery but i think a part of me will always be a little baffled in the presence of the disease of addiction .. these past couple weeks i received many calls from my ex addict .. this happens when his life slows .. maybe a comedown moment .. not...

lgnutah · lgnutah

My qualifier tended to phone me after drinking in the evenings. After those calls I had trouble sleeping. I decided I could take control of getting healthy sleep if I turned my ringers off on my phone at 8 pm. It took about a year, but my A finally accepted the phone wouldn't be answered (though she still s...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading challenges us to consider every person we encounter as a teacher who offers us a very important lesson to learn...every person, even the ones whose company we struggle to endure. We may witness positive qualities we can adopt, negative traits that remind us of something we are worki...

lgnutah · lgnutah

A few years back I bought a strip of plaid fabric that had just the word "THANKFUL" stitched onto it in large capital letters. I hang it on my front door every November but I love lookjng at it so much I almost hate to take it down when it's time to put up my Christmas wreath.

jocelgp · jocelgp

I asked my husband to leave because I don't deserve to be treated so badly: aiming fist at me and calling me names and demeaning my being a person. I don't know if he drank last friday but he came home later than usual. He keeps on saying bad words while sleeping friday night. Saturday was quiet, I tried...

MissM · MissM

It's been a rough semester. I live approx 2 hours from my university and this semester I was meant to do a lot of contact hours. I negotiated with my child, 2 days a week she would go to the school library at 7:30am (when the staff come on duty) so I could get to school late for an 8am class. We had a deal. When it...

Miss A · Miss A

I'm starting to work on healing my Inner Child, and I was wondering how some of you have done it? I've been struggling with doing this for years and it's holding me back from having a happy and healthy life. I'm nearly 23 and I want to start living. The thing is I don't know how.

TessaB · TessaB

Something I have really been struggling with lately is feeling like I need for my son(adult son) to admit he has been using when he stops by.It's obvious to me that he's high,I already know he is,yet I still call him out on it,even though I already know he's going to deny it. I am causing arguments with him...

John · John

Asking for prayer and help!I have not been interacting on the boards for a good while because of internal and external hardships I am so overwhelmed with and that has reduced my ability to shoot positive energy, inspiration, and hope into the Universe for the benefit of others, when I am so stuck in the...

_bunny_ · _bunny_

I was lucky to have met my AH when he was sober. We had many wonderful years together. Then alcohol came back into his life and my world became explosive. Most of the time the disease has control of him, but sometimes there's little moments when I get a glimpse of the man I used to know. As time goes by those l...

lookingup · lookingup

Spent thanksgiving with my aging father,not in good health ,I and him discussed on what to do with his son age 42 my baby brother after father passes,his huge concern, a/b is disabled physically and mentally ,due to lifetime of alcohol and drug use, ab has always lived with my father,always been depen...

TessaB · TessaB

Hello. I used to be active in Alanon years ago but then,I don't know,I guess I thought I didn't need to work the program anymore.A few days ago,though,I had a total meltdown,ranting and raving at my addicted adult son.After he left,I ranted and raved at my husband,and I got so upset and out of control I k...

Prissykitty · Prissykitty

Ugh. I swear these mood swings, daily physical ailments and just general anger and unavailability is almost harder than it was when he was actively using. Just needed to that off my chest to people that understand.

vvv · vvv

ive read quite a few books as well as writing on here...what exactly is detachmen? The way I see it is that you can still love someone and support, but not run to their aide. I've been working very hard on this and it's even harder because I do not think active alcoholics understand, which makes it even har...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning all- Today's reading is about our slogan 'live and let live'. It seems I cannot have enough reminders about staying in my own business and out of everyone else's! The writer describes a childhood w an active A father, but who felt resentment and anger toward mother for her role in it and he...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi my name is Jim and I'm a grateful member of al-anon. It's been awhile. I'm glad I thought of the fellowship recently. I havn't been to a meeting in months....posted here in maybe a year... I felt it was time for me to grow in a different direction in different areas of my life. It was time to break away fro...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all, The Alanon board is by far the biggest board in the MIP clubhouse. I belong to another group as well, "across the corridor". While in the USA I went to meetings in towns like Sarasota, Rapid City, Atlanta, Lower Manhattan, and Mill Valley Ca. Many places have a clubhouse, started by AA....

_bunny_ · _bunny_

Happy Sunday! I would like to know if anyone has known their A to be above the legal limit and driving. Did you practice loving detachment? Did you call the authorities? Please share your experiences.

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Had a lovely thanksgiving with my boyfriends family. They live about 1 1/2 hours away from here this was the first car trip of that length with the kids .. I wondered how we would all do in a confined space .. LOL. It was a blast! We would be fine .. my poor boyfriend would run for the hills. The kids are re...

Lou Lou · Lou Lou

I'm new to this and need help. Where do I start? Meetings? what to expect. Please help me.

hotrod · hotrod

STEP 7 HAS BEEN POSTED TO THE STEP WORK BOARD. PLEASE JOIN IN AND SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS. earn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! http://stepwork.activeboard...

joker · joker

Listen to an al-anon speaker on u-tube and heard this-WAIT-meaning why am I talking...and WASTE-Why am I still talking... I had to share this..it made me think and go mmm.

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

One saying in AlAnon is that 'No situation is hopeless.' Our reading notes that hope and despair describe only our feelings about a situation, not the situation or our life itself. This is an important distinction, because the only thing separating a hopeless feeling from a hopeful feeling is belie...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	this and that and an omg (Preview) I made some big steps in detachment lately. My AS and drug user kept asking me to borrow my car and my daughters car. I was really uncomfortable with it because he is on record as a drug addict and is on probation. How he has a valid license is beyond me but he did show me the paperwork reinstating him wh...	Fooled	4	454	Dec 7, 2016 by Fooled
	Pain (Preview) Writing is my solace. I wrote this to "him" this morning. I don't want to react to his behaviour. I want to maintain my sanity and most of all I want to learn to respond rather than reacting. I hate you today. It is the day after my birthday. You didn't think of me. You did not call me. You did not message m...	tealfighter	7	428	Dec 7, 2016 by Jerry F
	Advice needed (Preview) I need some advice. My single adult daughter recently told me she has returned to her old habits of drinking and smoking weed. She has gone to rehab 4 times For alcoholism and drug abuse. She said the sober life wasn't her thing. She had been doing really well for the past 2 years. She was gointg to AA but la...	Buckeye Girl	6	447	Dec 6, 2016 by Jerry F
	Drama addicts (Preview) Why do I constantly try and change these drama addicts? Like I tried to change the alcoholic.....I was doing so well for about 2.5 years...(yay!) living peacefully, in a good place, maintaining boundaries, making friends, staying active... then I started getting closer to an individual who is ver...	slogan_jim	6	2983	Dec 6, 2016 by slogan_jim
	Hope for Today dec 6 (Preview) Hello Everyone- Today's reading is about decisions, trying to understand our HPs will for us, and paying attention to inward signs about whether we are making choices which are good and healthy for us. In the reading the following statement is quoted: 'Without God, man cannot; without man, God wil...	yanksfan51	5	447	Dec 6, 2016 by Jerry F
	Alcoholic Partner Telling Me Who To Be Friends With (Preview) Long time lurker, first time poster, but I wanted to start off by saying THANK YOU to all of you for helping me feel not quite SO crazy and alone in all of this. But on to the matter at hand, long story short is that I have a friend of 8+ years that my alcoholic (ex at this point) partner has never been a fan of. I...	thekentuckygent	8	446	Dec 6, 2016 by Jerry F
	First Post (Preview) Newbie here. Glad I found this board. My wife is binge drinker who recently has become violent. She is in trouble with the law. I'm planning on attending my first meeting tomorrow. Any advice for a first timer? Thanks in advance!	Haysinger	10	443	Dec 6, 2016 by maryjane
	Ramped up (Preview) Hey all Haven't posted for a while. Been working my program and growing. Just wanted to kind of say out loud that as I move forward I am finding AHs drinking behaviours far harder to cope with. I obviously practice 'detach with love,' I move away, don't engage etc but wow, whereas in the past in my numb sta...	Calm Lady	26	943	Dec 6, 2016 by el-cee
	Hope for Today 12-5-16 (Preview) Today's page reflects the experience of one who, looking back, recalled the great care taken at the supermarket to pick out the small but more flavorful carrots for her children's snacks. As a teen, however, her son lamented how he received the "scrawny" carrots. Ah, perspective... The writer cons...	Enigmatic	5	573	Dec 5, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Loneliness after breakup (Preview) I split with my ah after he turned violent. I had to move out of our shared home. I'm finding the loss incredibly painful. Even though the breakup is for the best I miss him. We had some good times, especially early on in the relationship. I went on a couple of dates with a new man. I felt huge attraction to hi...	Emma123	3	2573	Dec 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	How to disengage with spouse? (Preview) I'm struggling. I feel that as of late I've been very good at disengaging with love. We have a toddler to co-parent and so when I'm working my program I'm great at ignoring husbands mood swings. I keep my life peaceful and kind of ignore his moaning and whining. He is an insomniac and typically looks exha...	Prissykitty	7	2545	Dec 5, 2016 by mauigirl
	So worried about my husband feeling hopeless (Preview) He's so broken. He relapsed Friday night. He hates himself. He hates his life even though he has so much he knows he should be grateful for. It breaks my heart to watch him sobbing and talking about what a horrible person he is. His dad died ten years ago tomorrow and he sobs that he misses him. He dabbled in...	Prissykitty	4	471	Dec 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	Where to begin (Preview) I grew up with alcoholics and married one. I am at a breaking point and have no one to turn to.	Rwisdom08	3	469	Dec 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	Partner blames me for everything when he's stressed (Preview) I have just returned to Al anon after a 20 year absence. I am so glad and grateful to have found a forum as it really helps me when I write things down. I promise I won't make a habit of venting my every issue but I will get this one off my chest if you don't mind. It's been building for a while. it regards yet anot...	Faintly Falling	12	3137	Dec 5, 2016 by KT2015
	Slogan for the Holidays (Preview) "We Came, We Ate, We Left" Great One .... Thanks Tiredtonite	LinSC	6	490	Dec 5, 2016 by el-cee
	Whinge whinge moan moan. (Preview) I know this is kind of whingy but it's making me miserable lately and seems to be my ever present woe so, maybe if I share it, it will get smaller. Sometimes it works that way. Seems like many people have walked the same path as me and separated and then moved on with someone new and things are wonderful..in...	MissM	5	782	Dec 5, 2016 by el-cee
	Dealing with family counsellor and totally exhausted! (Preview) I feel that I have been quite good about setting boundaries within the family. I know my limits and I usually instinctively know when I've been sucked in too far. But this time it's the health professional who has sucked me in like a blackhole! To explain briefly, my sister died last summer from cancer ....	Faintly Falling	7	575	Dec 4, 2016 by DrSheilaHerenow
	You can run but you cannot hide (Preview) I am not sure what it was today that kept pushing me off kilter but there was something. Nothing really concrete but a state of restless anxiety slowly burning under the surface all day. I really found myself fed up, ready to give up, hopeless, tired and weak. Like the armor I have been putting on is...	Fooled	6	489	Dec 4, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Confused, overwhelmed, hopeless, SAD ... (Preview) My ABF has been struggling with addiction since he was a kid. We come from VERY DIFFERENT backgrounds. So needless to say, it was hard for us to understand each others way of living. My ABF struggles a lot with boundaries. He would use the excuse of seeing his kids to disappear for days on end. He would end...	Confused16	5	525	Dec 4, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change reading 12-4-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for December 4 speaks about making choices. The reading points out that many times, before program we made our choices strictly on the basis of our feelings as if feelings were facts. If we were frightened about taking certain action then we avoided it, there was no middle ground and no...	hotrod	3	580	Dec 4, 2016 by Iamhere
	Old Behaviors (Preview) I'm really struggling with old behaviors .. mine .. LOL. Being new into a relationship for the first time in 5 years and then dealing with the fact I'm dealing with another co-dependent which there is nothing like two codies in a relationship together .. LOL. I have to keep really strong boundaries a...	SerenityRUS	5	470	Dec 4, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	New to group (Preview) Thank you for this group. My mother was an alcoholic. Now my son. He is 28 years old, very bright, and the world was his for the asking. He has been a slow downward spiral for years looking back but we just didn't see it. He was in Korea when his father died and that triggered an event with Adderall. He r...	DeeS	4	499	Dec 4, 2016 by Freetime
	Subtle shifts (Preview) I think the program is starting to sink in! I am noticing some subtle shifts in my thoughts and behaviors. I haven't made any big proclamations to myself, but my attitude is changing. AH is away this weekend hunting. Normally, I would think that he just wants to get away to drink freely. Now, while tha...	El	12	444	Dec 4, 2016 by tiredtonite
	Mini relapses- should I call him out? (Preview) ABF has been in AA for almost 90 days. He has had only 2 obvious relapses during that time and only missed only 1 meeting. (that I know of) Thats pretty good I think. However yesterday I came over and could smell just a liitle beer on him and he was acting a teeny bit off (nothing like drinking days) but I coul...	Aerin	11	512	Dec 4, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Feeling sorry for myself (Preview) I am really feeling sorry for myself right now. All my pent up anger has turned me into an asshole over the years...i just masked it as being 'authentic'....this is no longer a one off...this is a pattern I exhibit and it was only a matter of time before I could no longer get away with it.....i'm the common...	slogan_jim	9	3248	Dec 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Does the problem temporarily get worse when person starts Al Anon (Preview) I haven't been here for a while. I have been going to the face to face meeting and reading all the materials. I have also been practicing the 12 steps. I noticed something, does the addicted person's behavior get worse when the family practices the 12 steps? I have been re reading the new comers packe...	Lucy125	8	577	Dec 3, 2016 by Lucy125
	He relapsed (Preview) It's been about four months. It's 1am and I woke up because I heard husband making weird noises in the living room. He was asleep but I knew immediately something was up. Sure enough when I "woke" him he wasn't speaking English and couldn't look straight. He's not in active recovery, but I finally am. I...	Prissykitty	10	517	Dec 3, 2016 by maryjane
	Binge drinking spouse (Preview) Ok, so I have never gone to a meeting. My spouse (boyfriend of 13 years) has started showing signs of binge drinking - maybe it's been happening longer than I want to admit. We have been on the roller coaster as some describe it - things are great throughout the week, and then on Friday night, he says he's g...	Kristy66	3	442	Dec 3, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Dreading going home tonight... (Preview) My AH seems to find ways to take Fridays off or at least come home early on Fridays. I won't even go down the road of what a bad idea that is related to his work because it's not my problem it is his and shockingly it doesn't seem to cause him problems. But it causes me problems. He tries to refrain...	KT2015	20	986	Dec 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 3/12 (Preview) Today's C2C asks "what is meditation?" It suggests that the answer for us is to interpret in our own ways, but drawing on other member's experiences can help us to find what works for us. It suggests various interpretations such as seeking the spiritual purpose to our actions, concentrating on breat...	MissM	3	386	Dec 3, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Feeling confused (Preview) lo everyone, I am new to this group and have already taken comfort from reading your messages. My husband and I have now separated because he is an alcoholic. I am incredibly sad about this and struggling to come to terms with it because I love him but I had to end it for a number of reasons but mainly becaus...	JosieP	7	677	Dec 3, 2016 by Mcat54
	Let it begin with me (Preview) For the last month or so my daughter has been the bane of my existence. I have finally have achieved happiness, and a somewhat sense of peace and serenity and I swear to all that is holy that if I thought she could be, she is doing it on purpose. Every single day she manages to push my buttons and test t...	Fooled	19	754	Dec 3, 2016 by Fooled
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/2/16 (Preview) Today's reading discusses the concept of recovery - "Let it Begin With Me". The reading suggests it's easy for us to sit and itemize the defects of our qualifier/others. We can spend hours thinking of the ways others should/could change! Yet, not one time has this mental criticism improved anythi...	Iamhere	2	417	Dec 2, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Gaslighting? I get it now! (Preview) I kept hearing talk of "Gaslighting" and then someone referenced the movie, so I went to the library and got it on DVD to watch. My AH was passed out, so I had uninterrupted time. Now I totally understand the use of that term. And last night, I saw it in action. I went out to dinner with 5 very good women...	Bethany66	7	542	Dec 2, 2016 by milkwood
	Courage to Change (C2C) 11/1/16 (Preview) Today's reading talks about 'all that is Al-Anon'.....what this means is we arrive, and no matter how defeated, broken, crazy or other we are - we are invited back. Many of us are grateful for this love and acceptance, no matter our condition when we arrive. For many, Al-Anon is the last hope. The dis...	Iamhere	3	436	Dec 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	Perception (Preview) How do we perceive ourselves and how accurate is that perception to others? Is our perception of ourselves always the same as how others perceive us? The alcoholic doesn't think they have a problem, but we all know they do...as far as they're concerned they are one thing, we see them as something comp...	slogan_jim	7	574	Dec 1, 2016 by slogan_jim
	Better times. (Preview) What a weekend. Daughter and I went to volunteer at a very large music festival that happens in a town about 40 minutes from home. The idea is, you work for 10 hours and in return they give you an all-access pass for the entire 3 day event. Daughter wasn't required to volunteer in the end because she is too y...	MissM	6	546	Dec 1, 2016 by sarahGee
	phonecall(s) from my ex .. (Preview) I'm not really surprised as i once would have been earlier in my recovery but i think a part of me will always be a little baffled in the presence of the disease of addiction .. these past couple weeks i received many calls from my ex addict .. this happens when his life slows .. maybe a comedown moment .. not...	MeTwo2	6	543	Dec 1, 2016 by MeTwo2
	It's hard for me to clearly define my boundary-I just want serenity! (Preview) My qualifier tended to phone me after drinking in the evenings. After those calls I had trouble sleeping. I decided I could take control of getting healthy sleep if I turned my ringers off on my phone at 8 pm. It took about a year, but my A finally accepted the phone wouldn't be answered (though she still s...	lgnutah	4	457	Dec 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	11/30/16 Courage to Change (Preview) Today's reading challenges us to consider every person we encounter as a teacher who offers us a very important lesson to learn...every person, even the ones whose company we struggle to endure. We may witness positive qualities we can adopt, negative traits that remind us of something we are worki...	Enigmatic	8	522	Dec 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	THANKFUL (Preview) A few years back I bought a strip of plaid fabric that had just the word "THANKFUL" stitched onto it in large capital letters. I hang it on my front door every November but I love lookjng at it so much I almost hate to take it down when it's time to put up my Christmas wreath.	lgnutah	2	303	Dec 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	my husband just left me, and it's hurting so much (Preview) I asked my husband to leave because I don't deserve to be treated so badly: aiming fist at me and calling me names and demeaning my being a person. I don't know if he drank last friday but he came home later than usual. He keeps on saying bad words while sleeping friday night. Saturday was quiet, I tried...	jocelgp	20	3750	Dec 1, 2016 by Suburban Denizen
	lady-child (Preview) It's been a rough semester. I live approx 2 hours from my university and this semester I was meant to do a lot of contact hours. I negotiated with my child, 2 days a week she would go to the school library at 7:30am (when the staff come on duty) so I could get to school late for an 8am class. We had a deal. When it...	MissM	2	397	Nov 30, 2016 by lgnutah
	Healing your Inner Child? (Preview) I'm starting to work on healing my Inner Child, and I was wondering how some of you have done it? I've been struggling with doing this for years and it's holding me back from having a happy and healthy life. I'm nearly 23 and I want to start living. The thing is I don't know how.	Miss A	10	838	Nov 30, 2016 by Bethany66
	The Need To Know The Truth (Preview) Something I have really been struggling with lately is feeling like I need for my son(adult son) to admit he has been using when he stops by.It's obvious to me that he's high,I already know he is,yet I still call him out on it,even though I already know he's going to deny it. I am causing arguments with him...	TessaB	16	665	Nov 30, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Asking for prayers and help... (Preview) Asking for prayer and help!I have not been interacting on the boards for a good while because of internal and external hardships I am so overwhelmed with and that has reduced my ability to shoot positive energy, inspiration, and hope into the Universe for the benefit of others, when I am so stuck in the...	John	28	1385	Nov 30, 2016 by MissM
	little moments (Preview) I was lucky to have met my AH when he was sober. We had many wonderful years together. Then alcohol came back into his life and my world became explosive. Most of the time the disease has control of him, but sometimes there's little moments when I get a glimpse of the man I used to know. As time goes by those l...	_bunny_	4	437	Nov 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	What to do with loved ones estate after they pass? (Preview) Spent thanksgiving with my aging father,not in good health ,I and him discussed on what to do with his son age 42 my baby brother after father passes,his huge concern, a/b is disabled physically and mentally ,due to lifetime of alcohol and drug use, ab has always lived with my father,always been depen...	lookingup	11	604	Nov 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	New And Out Of Control (Preview) Hello. I used to be active in Alanon years ago but then,I don't know,I guess I thought I didn't need to work the program anymore.A few days ago,though,I had a total meltdown,ranting and raving at my addicted adult son.After he left,I ranted and raved at my husband,and I got so upset and out of control I k...	TessaB	4	536	Nov 29, 2016 by TessaB
	Harder now that he's sober (Preview) Ugh. I swear these mood swings, daily physical ailments and just general anger and unavailability is almost harder than it was when he was actively using. Just needed to that off my chest to people that understand.	Prissykitty	17	1044	Nov 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Detachment...what is it really? (Preview) ive read quite a few books as well as writing on here...what exactly is detachmen? The way I see it is that you can still love someone and support, but not run to their aide. I've been working very hard on this and it's even harder because I do not think active alcoholics understand, which makes it even har...	vvv	12	604	Nov 29, 2016 by Jerry F
	Hope for Today Nov 29 (Preview) Good morning all- Today's reading is about our slogan 'live and let live'. It seems I cannot have enough reminders about staying in my own business and out of everyone else's! The writer describes a childhood w an active A father, but who felt resentment and anger toward mother for her role in it and he...	yanksfan51	5	436	Nov 29, 2016 by TessaB
	Welcome back Slogan_Jim (Preview) Hi my name is Jim and I'm a grateful member of al-anon. It's been awhile. I'm glad I thought of the fellowship recently. I havn't been to a meeting in months....posted here in maybe a year... I felt it was time for me to grow in a different direction in different areas of my life. It was time to break away fro...	slogan_jim	5	1097	Nov 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	MIP Intergroup... sometime...? (Preview) Hi y'all, The Alanon board is by far the biggest board in the MIP clubhouse. I belong to another group as well, "across the corridor". While in the USA I went to meetings in towns like Sarasota, Rapid City, Atlanta, Lower Manhattan, and Mill Valley Ca. Many places have a clubhouse, started by AA....	DavidG	7	517	Nov 29, 2016 by el-cee
	Drinking While Driving (Preview) Happy Sunday! I would like to know if anyone has known their A to be above the legal limit and driving. Did you practice loving detachment? Did you call the authorities? Please share your experiences.	_bunny_	12	659	Nov 29, 2016 by el-cee
	Holiday UPdate :) (Preview) Had a lovely thanksgiving with my boyfriends family. They live about 1 1/2 hours away from here this was the first car trip of that length with the kids .. I wondered how we would all do in a confined space .. LOL. It was a blast! We would be fine .. my poor boyfriend would run for the hills. The kids are re...	SerenityRUS	9	480	Nov 29, 2016 by Jen61
	So many questions. Newbie (Preview) I'm new to this and need help. Where do I start? Meetings? what to expect. Please help me.	Lou Lou	8	530	Nov 28, 2016 by Rinn
	STEP 7 (Preview) STEP 7 HAS BEEN POSTED TO THE STEP WORK BOARD. PLEASE JOIN IN AND SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS. earn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! http://stepwork.activeboard...	hotrod	1	660	Nov 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	WAIT (Preview) Listen to an al-anon speaker on u-tube and heard this-WAIT-meaning why am I talking...and WASTE-Why am I still talking... I had to share this..it made me think and go mmm.	joker	4	693	Nov 28, 2016 by Bethany66
	One Day at a Time in AlAnon 11/28/16 (Preview) One saying in AlAnon is that 'No situation is hopeless.' Our reading notes that hope and despair describe only our feelings about a situation, not the situation or our life itself. This is an important distinction, because the only thing separating a hopeless feeling from a hopeful feeling is belie...	Enigmatic	3	524	Nov 28, 2016 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.