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Newcomer
(Preview)
Hello all... this is my first time on here. I went to my first Al-Anon meeting last week. It was great. My husband is an alcoholic and I have never had to deal with alcoholism in my family before so this is all new to me. I have been with my husband for 5 years and married for 9 months. I was hoping and praying fo...
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Shiba419
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4
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506
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12/21/16 One Day at a Time in AlAnon
(Preview)
Today's page notes that some are surprised to find AlAnon is a workshop for them to solve their own problems. The Program provides the 'light' to see what is needed in repairs. In answer to what to do with any numbers of trying circumstances brought about by the disease, one of the best replies is: anyth...
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Enigmatic
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3
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364
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It works if you work it
(Preview)
It's been almost 3 months since I've started with Al Anon/ ACA and WOW what a difference these programs can make in your life. Each day there is more awareness and a greater ability to let go. My kids, and closest friends have been commenting on the change in me. I used to shake uncontrollably. My anxiet...
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sarahGee
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6
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464
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I lost my mind completely
(Preview)
I hate, despise alcoholism. It turns the person into a monster. I had to deal with a monster last night and it was hell. The more he drank, he worse his behavior. He went of the deep end. I was laying down in the bedroom, as I was tired. I could hear him in the living room saying he wants to be santa clause and be...
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joker
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13
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687
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1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY
(Preview)
Three days ago, it was the official 1 year since i moved away from now XAH. First I want to thank those on the board here for their ESH through this time. It was one roller coaster of a year. The joy of finding myself again. The many financial issues that im still dealing with. The surprise of reuniting with...
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YARNCRAZY
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3
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379
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12-19-16 Courage to Change
(Preview)
Alcoholism causes physical, emotional and spiritual damage. By our association with the alcoholic, we can also suffer harm in these areas. In AlAnon's tradition of keeping the focus on ourselves, today's reading asks us to examine our self care. Do we take good care of our physical needs: eating, s...
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Enigmatic
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6
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505
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Family Christmas
(Preview)
so my br is just out of hospital again with liver problems and this is second time in six months. he is a mess, he looks a mess and he is still drinking. He is staying with a friend. My mother is a widow and panders to him all the time. We have no other siblings. I have a husband a 3 small children. My mother wants...
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Ralph16
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6
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495
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Hope for Today Dec 20
(Preview)
Good morning everyone- Today's reading speaks to the concept of detaching with love. Through the program and its tools, we can let go of resentment, bitterness and anger and instead feel the serenity of acceptance. The writer specifically mentions coming to terms with his/her father's death and...
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yanksfan51
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3
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365
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Christmas Presents
(Preview)
This is our first Christmas with out our AS. Months have gone by since my ex and I have really had any contact with our AS. He has sent several emails with awful content and asking for his belongings, but really other than that we have been Astranged. My ex and I discussed Christmas presents and decided w...
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Tannersmom
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6
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551
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Loops of insanity
(Preview)
My AF is drinking again. Actually, I think the only time he doesn't drink is when he's in the hospital, which now seems to be happening on at least an annual basis. This weekend we'll all be at his and my step-mom's house. I'm dreading it because it seems like he's slowly but surely dissolving. Even when h...
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Mikhail
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2
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396
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New Here
(Preview)
Hello everyone, I am a mom of 3, ages 14, 6 and 4. My husband is a very heavy drinker, and is not interested in seeking help. I am just looking for a support group to help cope with our situation. My family is biased and feels I need to leave. My youngest is disabled, and I have a hard time seeing myself abl...
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gleasonzoo
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3
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363
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road trip
(Preview)
I am going home for the holidays-for 4 days only. I will be going with my abf and driving 9 hours. He will be sober, so he says. I will be going home and spending time with my mother who is an active alcoholic. Dear god help me...I know I can and will walk away if the situation becomes intolerable. I have a plan...
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joker
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5
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444
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It's so tough to watch
(Preview)
My father (The Alcoholic) invited me over for dinner on xmas day. I said sure, no problem. I'm somewhat looking forward to it but at the same time, I am completely dreading it. I know it will likely be the last one in that house and he prepares to sell it in the spring and blows any and all profit he gets out of...
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slogan_jim
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5
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488
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anyone else feeling the Christmas excitement?
(Preview)
I am and its been ages and it feels great! This year, Miss almost 4 is fully conversant in social norms including holidays. In turn, so is her two year old sister ( who also happens to be her most adoring fan). She has already devised her Christmas strategy, first asking what day it falls on, and how many da...
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a4l
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4
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646
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A test of my sanity
(Preview)
That's what today was...I don't like tests and I'm not sure I passed. But as I sit here on this board with my "one day at a time in al-anon" book in front of me, I know at least if I didn't pass this time, I'll have better tools next time. I was trying to find a passage by the topic I was searching for today and the...
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Crau
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3
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2121
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It has been a long time...
(Preview)
I have to say that I am not proud of the fact that I have ducked out of Alanon a lot lately. My recovery is at a standstill. No growth but hanging in there. I know how much I miss you all. I am not in real bad shape but I need some really good meetings. We have currently no meetings in our small town. Hardly anyone...
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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365
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Talk?
(Preview)
Would it be all right if sometimes I just post and ask whoever is on here to talk to me sometimes? It's just so hard when the AH already works nights and then refuses to come home for hours and hours after work (staying out drinking). Sometimes I just feel desperate for someone to talk to ME. And I can't go to...
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Jayla
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6
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425
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Courage to change 12-18-2016
(Preview)
The C2C reading for December 18 speaks about the old saying trust in God and tie your camel to a tree. The reading suggests that this is a way of saying that we must do the footwork and HP will do the rest ". We must first trust HP because trusting is a way of affirming that we are willing to be receptive to...
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hotrod
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5
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506
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Progress forward
(Preview)
On Friday night, I really wanted a drink of wine, just 2 glasses. I told the alcoholic to get me a bottle of wine. He did, along with his vodka and beer, which he gladly drank all night. I went to bed after my wine and he stayed up himself, talking to himself and watching TV. I was grateful he did not keep me awa...
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joker
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3
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406
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bit of a babble
(Preview)
Its been a challenging and emotional week. Learning a new skill, juggling the kids and lots of transitions. Over the last year my relationship with my autistic son has really come to life. Of all five of my kids, he was the one i struggled to connect with from day one. Emotionally, something just wasn't...
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a4l
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9
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474
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Holidays with my imaginary friends.
(Preview)
Well I can't say it's the happiest start to a summer holiday I've ever had but then, I think back and remember, this time last year I had a broken foot and was about to embark on a 4 month series of epic voyages between my bathroom and my couch, in a moon-boot. Paddling with my crutches. What a summer. By comp...
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MissM
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5
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460
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Healing and Perspective
(Preview)
I had a situation come up with my boyfriend the other evening and while there is one part of me that is satisfied with how I handled it there is another part that is uncomfortable. Part of me being uncomfortable is the fact I did not want to act out as I had in the past (meaning how I behaved during my marriag...
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SerenityRUS
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3
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463
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And....here they come!
(Preview)
I am excited that my parents arrive today for just shy of 2 weeks! They are coming from AZ to KS and they are coming with a bunch of extreme cold temperatures + deadly ice/snow. Please send prayers for a safe and uneventful travel day for them. I will be around less while they are here. As they are 82, eac...
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Iamhere
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4
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419
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Need 5th step clarification
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I'm new to the boards but an Al-Anon member for over a year. Although I have a sponser, I chose to work my 5th step with "another human being". They are not happy about this and are almost insistant that I do it with them. I proposed this question back in the Spring to another long-time memb...
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Rider
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7
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2233
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Courage to Change 17/12
(Preview)
Today's c2c speaks of the concept of praying for those that we resent. The writer identifies that this was at first difficult because they were praying for their qualifiers to change. When they instead chose to pray for new perspectives, insight into how to change their own part in the situations, an...
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MissM
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1
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458
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"He needs rehab" and stuff others tell me
(Preview)
Does anyone struggle with this? My therapist and a close friend just keep focusing on what my qualifier needs. The whole conversation continues to be about "he is so sick" "if he is committed to sobriety he will get into rehab" "he really might be bipolar. He needs serious help."
I get so frustrated be...
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Prissykitty
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8
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927
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Someone said it, I lost it!
(Preview)
Today I read in one of the posts a comment from a member that really struck a chord with me. I am paraphrasing, because I cannot find the quote now, but it was something to the effect of, I no longer get upset if my A drinks because it may be this drink that brings him to his bottom. I really liked that. I hop...
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Bethany66
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6
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531
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He's been using this entire time
(Preview)
After husbands overdose Sunday night, he went to therapy today. Claims he was gonna come clean with his therapist. Ended up coming home and telling me he had a good session. Then informed me that he's been lying to me too. Even after I found him with pain pills in August he said he had quit. Nope. Still bee...
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Prissykitty
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10
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503
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HP's Will my Will ..
(Preview)
The God of my understanding is God so if that offends stick in what you need to process or don't read my post .. LOL. That being said there are some things brewing .. court is not over .. sigh yes .. I had said it was however that's not what the process has been doing. Once again my X gets to do what he wants to d...
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SerenityRUS
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11
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508
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Anyone else get this PM? Please be sure to disregard it. I know, der but you never know.
(Preview)
Greetings to you and your family.I am Mrs. Amadou Gloria, A widow to late Mr. Greg Amadou; I am 56 years old, suffering from pancreatic cancer, My condition is really bad and it is quite obvious that I will not live a long time according to my doctors but I strongly believe in God and not the doctors and if...
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MissM
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10
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2929
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4th step question
(Preview)
The f2f meeting I had attended since May recently dissolved. It was small to begin with, but was down to only 3 of us. The time and location were ideal, so I hung in there but knew I wanted to find another group with different dynamics. One of the members told us she was leaving our group, so with only two,...
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El
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2
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434
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Courage to Change (C2C) 12/16/16
(Preview)
Today's reading in Courage to Change is a great read for reminding us what we are and are not responsible for. There is no quote or reminder - but instead a list of things we should consider as we work on our recovery program. Most of us arrive believing we are supposed to take care of everything and every...
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Iamhere
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1
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370
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Trust
(Preview)
I used to be the most trusting person in the world and now I'm completely opposite. Trust is earned, I've realized through this journey. I wish I had clear eyes again, saw the good in everyone and trusted everyone as I did before. I've become cautious of motives behind things and assume
I'm being manip...
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Crau
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16
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1258
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My story - In desperate need of advice
(Preview)
I'm 22 years old and the daughter to an alcoholic mother. My mother, it seems, has dealt with addiction through tout her life one way or another. My mother's parents divorced when she was young and by the time she was a teenager her father dealt and used cocaine. They were close however he was frequently...
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Ozma24
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4
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485
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Courage to Change (C2C) 12/15/16
(Preview)
Today's reading is about Step 3 - it seems so difficult to get our minds around turning our will and life over to the care of a Higher Power. We try to do so, think we have done so and next you know - we've taken it back. It feels so scary to think we are not in control. It's hard to trust that a Higher Power wou...
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Iamhere
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4
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372
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New & needing advice
(Preview)
Hi All, this is my first post here. My brother (49) & his wife (40) are currently homeless due to their alcohol drinking & drug use.
My family finally stopped enabling them and they hit rock bottom losing everything, including their house, car, & their own child to foster care. To have v...
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Patricia Lynn
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6
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470
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12/14/16 Hope for Today
(Preview)
Today's page addresses use of the Serenity Prayer when we are losing ours. The author shares the key: keeping it focused and simple so as to avoid turning it into a stressful exercise. The perspective change is powerful. 1) Widen our acceptance: accept that all things are as they should be, find grati...
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Enigmatic
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6
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549
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then and now
(Preview)
I was reading on line here and I question my relationship with the alcoholic in my life and my feelings now. When I first met him, 2.5 years ago, I felt so in love and just adored him. I was willing to spend the rest of my life with him and have bliss. However, as his drinking increased and his behaviors becam...
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joker
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7
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395
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Opinions re: Crying
(Preview)
I've always been prone to tears: weddings, funerals, remembering sentimental events, you name it. Most often, though, I cry when I am hurt by someone's words or actions. Are tears resulting from a real or imagined slight selfish & self-pitying? Am I just feeling sorry for myself ("Oh, poor me, p...
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Suburban Denizen
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13
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790
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Need to talk...rehab/affairs
(Preview)
My AH went into rehab in November,after leaving he begged me to help him find help. So I found him a rehab unit. Since he has been out he was fine. Doing the work, meeting, counselors etc. Then about a week ago he totally withdrew from me. Seeking to find answers I checked our cell phone bill and found a numb...
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Doxie73
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4
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5082
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a working woman again
(Preview)
I love God. And as i get older its blatantly obvious that im loved and beleived in right back. So I've been stressing out about work and independence and non utilised talents, generally feeling like crap and worried. Yet at the same time, I feel like im right where im meant to be. Anyway. I got the urge to l...
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a4l
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6
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395
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Addict/alcoholic son living with me, I'm drowning
(Preview)
My 29 year old son is addicted to opioid pills and on suboxone. So he is not using pills but has substituted with being an alcoholic now. However drinking alcohol while on suboxone is LIFE THREATENING! He's also on psych meds that cannot be mixed with alcohol, also life threatening. He is very good at fi...
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Neroli
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8
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477
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What Do I DO? (first post)
(Preview)
I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic for 14 years. Since I was 22 and she was 25. We've been engaged for about 5 years and have a 5 1/2 year old daughter together as well. As well as being an alcoholic a few years ago she developed some other addictions. Opiates, adderall... whatever. After a lon...
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besaco99
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8
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493
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Recovery Dreams
(Preview)
I don't usually have these mostly I've suffered from nightmare directly from being born and raised in the disease. But my HP is gentle and kind now in my elder years so I either get the random nightmare or no dreams at all. Last night it was none to start with and I couldn't sleep soooo I went to the kitc...
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Jerry F
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7
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639
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Hope for Today Dec 13
(Preview)
Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about how we make the decision that we belong in Alanon. The reading is written by someone whose daughter attends AA meetings for a few years and then makes the decision that her problem isn't truly alcoholism. The parent feels a little bit lost as to whether...
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yanksfan51
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6
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428
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He could be dead
(Preview)
After getting a sponsor yesterday my husband came home and put a fentanyl patch in his mouth. No trigger, nothing. He just went downstairs to do laundry and never came up. Three year old was asleep so I couldn't go looking for him. Heard sirens and saw them stop outside our building. Finally a neighbor c...
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Prissykitty
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11
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477
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Why me?
(Preview)
I remember not so long ago when that question tormented me. Why did this happen to our family, why was I being punished ? After all, I had done all of the hard work of responsible parenting, I had survived growing up with an alcoholic and had come out unscathed (lol) so I thought. Why, why , why would ro...
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serenity47
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3
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406
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Anyone heard of HPPD?
(Preview)
My son told me that he had been suffering from HPPD. Basically he can start hallucinating at any time. It's scary and triggers his anxiety or it can be triggered by his anxiety, chicken and egg kind of thing. He has reached out to me for help, but I'm at a loss. I'm guessing that nothing but time and abstin...
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themoonandthestars
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2
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471
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Saved myself a very awkward moment
(Preview)
So, the weed smell is back in H's car and he's enjoying the liquor his son gave him for his birthday last week. Working my program but feeling suspicious and watchful just the same. Left for work this a.m. and temporarily entertained the thought of looking in his console for his stash before leaving the...
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Mcat54
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3
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421
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First Post, please, I need an ear. Live in boyfriend is becoming paranoid/delusional when and after drinking.
(Preview)
I laid awake most of the night wondering who I could speak to confidentially. I then remembered this wonderful program and am so happy there is an online resource. My live in boyfriend, of 8 years, is spinning out of control. He is an admitted alcoholic, but has recently taken up with his old love, Vod...
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megoreilly
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14
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556
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The alcoholic and marijuana
(Preview)
My ex has been trying to convince me he's doing better, but he is still smoking weed all day, every day. Living on government assistance, taking money from people who are trying to help him.
Now I know well enough to know his bad decisions, I don't want to touch with a 10 foot pole.
With all the recent hyp...
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sarahGee
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8
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1030
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how to deal with close people in denial?
(Preview)
Helo family, it has been long since i last checked in. I am in recovery since I separated from my ABF 3 years ago, an intense but beautiful journey. So many things changed since then, and I'm still and always grateful for this group and movement. But you know, you can never escape some unpleasant facts, a...
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tortuga
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6
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443
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Can't stop feeling angry about his drinking
(Preview)
My husband is an alcoholic. He tries to hide it from me but I know when he's drinking. I know him so well I swear I can even tell by his text messages. It makes me furious. I know this won't help anything but I feel like if I ignore it things will only get worse. I'm sick of having the same argument over and ove...
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Veronica12345
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8
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432
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Focus
(Preview)
I was just reading al-anon literature this morning and I had to share my insight... Dont focus on the problem but instead focus on the solution... A couple things came into mind for me, Solution for alcoholism, !. Focus on self and what is best intrest for me 2. Walk away from the craziness, be it talking...
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joker
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4
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471
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12/12/16 One Day at a Time in AlAnon
(Preview)
Today's page addresses our tendency to put the blame for our pain onto someone else. We may resist this truth, but the reality is that we are partly responsible when we take offense or feel hurt from the actions of another.The good news is this means that our mental wellbeing is not completely subject t...
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Enigmatic
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6
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1243
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Garden project.
(Preview)
I posted a couple of weeks ago that daughter and I had decided to make the most of our surroundings and treat out home as an art project of sorts rather than moan about how much we dislike it, since we are stuck here for another year at least. Here's our first project; please note I realise it is not a thing of...
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MissM
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6
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416
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He got a sponsor
(Preview)
Well. After a relapse last week my dry husband woke up this morning with our three year old so I could sleep in. After about an hour he was rummaging around our bedroom so I got up. He was walking into the wall, shaking, and speaking incoherently. Immediately I knew he had taken something. He cried and sai...
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Prissykitty
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9
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419
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Your experience with interventions?
(Preview)
Have they worked for your qualifier and family?
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LinSC
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15
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612
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That time of year again
(Preview)
Hey all, Just venting a little...since it is my not so favorite time of year again...and I am sure it is the same for a lot of people. Al Anon has helped me live reasonably well with an Active A. However and you know there has to be a however in there..... the horrible last 6 weeks of the year is still a s...
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unbroken13
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3
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2082
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Relapse of Son
(Preview)
So my 24 year old son made an official announcement that he has relapsed. At first he told me by text message and then decided to tell it to my face while I was in the kitchen. He started to talking to me in that very slurred way from across the kitchen but when I said "Whaaaat are you even saying?" over the...
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Fooled
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21
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642
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