Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Medhuil · Medhuil

Well, first time here so bear with.... I'm 44, child of two alcoholics - turbulent, horrible, passive-aggressive, co-dependent marriage with lots of domestic violence. Ex self harmer, ex abusive marriage - usual ACOA stuff, I'm a bad person, I couldn't fix things, I deserve to be married to a dread...

Sorcha · Sorcha

Hi everyone This is my first post on this site though I have been reading other people's posts for a while now and attending alanon meetings regularly for a few years. I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic for three and a half years now. He is a binge drinker, he was drinking a lot for the first cou...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I have known the Serenity Prayer my entire life - a needlepoint of it hung above our kitchen table when I was growing up - but I just discovered there is a longer version! Just wanted to share it, for anyone else who did not know there is more than what we say in meetings.Serenity PrayerGod grant me the se...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

Well, back to my first meeting after a few years. I remember that when I was going to meetings and reading the Al-Anon literature I could still love and detach. When I got away from the program, I was sinking very, very slowly until I had such anxiety and insomnia that could hardly be controlled. Also...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

I've been out and about. Just came back to recharge the batteries. I had momentarily forgotten my login info so I used a new one, but memory still serves me. Lots of new faces. Great to see that some of the old ones are still here. To the new members, give it time, whatever IT is. Trust your higher power. I le...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I slept a couple of hours and now awake feeling so much anxiety by my AH relapse. I am going through a death in the family and it is so much more painful with my AH drinking, lying and not being emotionally available. If you have stayed in your relationship, what things do you do to cope and detach. I feel so r...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Regarding Step 1, today's reading notes that many of us found AlAnon after trying everything else so admitting our life was unmanageable might not have been a stretch. Fully accepting our powerlessness over alcohol, people and outcomes, however, is often much more challenging. Today's Reminder...

LoLo23 · LoLo23

First post, I've just been reading until now. I found this board a few weeks ago and it feels like I'm reading about my own life, it has made me feel like I'm not alone and validated that my husband has a problem whether he admits to it or not. We've known each other for almost 20 years, been married 10. I did...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

I've been reading some of the posts and I have to say I'm saddened to hear about John's health. My wife (Nancy aka PEI Lady) and I were just talking about that. We've been coming here on and aff for about 15 years and John is just someone you expect to see. Naturally, we thought he'd live forever. We always t...

shrnp · shrnp

This is my second post, I did not know if I should write this as part of the other one or not. My friend, ex-bf has wet brain and has suffered brain damage while going through detox. He has to go into a nursing home because his is not eating on his own. He was not strong enough, and he had been living off of vodka...

shrnp · shrnp

I have been having a hard time accepting or dealing with with my qualifiers family. He has been able to talk to me after 14 days of being in the hospital. I had been talking to his sister, and she was not being too specific about his condition. She told me bits and pieces. He is doing better than expected, b...

Fooled · Fooled

Since the death of my friend so suddenly and unexpectedly I have really really been leaning into my program. Lots of meetings, readings, and reflection. Its amazing how you can put things in perspective after a tragedy. Surprisingly Ive done a lot of growth. Ive gained some tolerance, I have...

andromeda · andromeda

My partner and I are both very sarcastic people. But, with program work, i am seeing that sometimes I use it to cover up my real emotions or to make light of something that's bothering me or to maybe use it in unhealthy ways. I see my partner do the same at times. I''m wondering how to work this into my reco...

NCJo · NCJo

I am brand new to al-anon. I have read some information online and have ordered the book and can't wait to read it. I have a question while I wait for it to come and would like some advice from people that have similar problems. My bf is currently in AA, and has had a few relapses. I am at a loss as what to do a...

Jerry F · Jerry F

My wife was talking with our sister in law...the wife of my brother so recently passed. My sister-in-law said that at the time he passed he was being attended by his eldest son and a son-in-law and the house was quiet with the exception of a loud rumble like as if a hot-rod (not you Betty) had quickly pa...

arasrallim · arasrallim

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years, and about a year ago he decided he wanted to get sober. I was happy to see him want to make a change but it has been a rocky road for us. We recently decided to move into together in May. His drinking became a game and he was now trying to be sneaky and hide it fro...

hotrod · hotrod

ODA T reading for January 29 speaks about being obligated to help others because of our common humanity. The reading points out that we should not do for them what they can and should do for themselves. Mutual dependence is one of the comforts and rewards of marriage each partner must do his job and...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and am now in the hang over stage. Do enablers and do-dependents relapse? Sure do and it sucks bad time. I went to my morning AA meeting and the subject was on and around Steps 4 thru 10 and I even shared my ESH on the subject or maybe just gave it away. After the meeting I came home with a stop at the gas s...

IAmStrong · IAmStrong

Hi everyone. I am quite concerned re Johns status as he was unable to be present at the meeting he called for the future of this board. Is any One person able to make a connection with him, or his home? I Do believe this should be done. Also for to find out the access to keep this board up and running, and...

NCJo · NCJo

Hey Everyone. As I mentioned earlier, I am new to the program. I love reading the message boards and want to read as much as I can to familiarize myself with the program. I ordered the book Courage to Change and I received it today. From what I have read thus far, I think it will be a great help. It just was...

Vivian10 · Vivian10

I divorced an alcoholic two years ago. We have a small child together and since my ex was not happy about my decision to divorce, a custody battle ensued and it was a highly contentious divorce. I had hoped and prayed that over time, the relationship between my ex and I would get better but we have inste...

Dlove · Dlove

I am so mad at mysel! I don't know how to set boundaries and enforce them. I told my AH that in order for him to live at our house he cannot drink. He became violent almost 3 months ago and went to jail and the court ordered him not to drink. That order was lifted a couple weeks ago and now he is back drinking afte...

MissM · MissM

Todays c2c talks about how important it is to 'keep coming back"- even when we might no longer live with an alcoholic or be directly affected by another's alcoholism in our day to day lives. It points out that many people have been in the program for years and years and stay for the serenity they find and t...

MomInMo · MomInMo

Okay, so one of the things I've really taken to hear is that you have to love yourself. That if you find the happiness inside your self, you stop looking for someone else to fill that need. That you stop loving others for the fantasy of them and for the real them. I have felt a major shift inside of me. I know I...

MissM · MissM

As I mentioned a few days ago, daughter has a friend staying with us. (It's the last week of summer holidays). Last night we were to go to the waterfront for the Aus day celebrations and fireworks (bands, people, general revelry) and I was quite looking forward to it. I had in mind that I might make the eff...

luv123 · luv123

I hear a lot of compassion & not wollowing in self pity in this reading. Staying in today and not predicting this to be a forever thing I cannot deal with. In it I hear about caring without being a crutch. That takes practice and listening to how others have walked this path. "I love you but..." were 4 w...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's daily reading talks about the mental and emotional impact the disease has on us - the family and friends of the alcoholic. We tend to over react or react in moments that are not always the cause of our frustration, sadness, etc. The example given talks about a partner who is frustrated enough...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

I am frustrated with (not my AS) but my EX Hub. I know I can't change his behavior or his choices but it is killing me because I know his so called badgering to my AS is pushing my son further away. My ex continues to text my son with guilt ridden messages. He is just as manipulating as my AS. He just doesn'...

starcatcher2 · starcatcher2

Hello Everyone, I've been off the grid for awhile. Trying to sort out the "drama" in my life. My Ex-ABF has told me (to my face) that he doesn't want to quit drinking and he likes the buzz. He sees nothing wrong with having a "sip" every once in awhile. Well that sip turns into a binge. He can't control...

LoLo23 · LoLo23

Since I just found this board I'm not sure if this is something I will learn in meetings, etc. but still wanted to ask from personal experience. I don't know how to act after my husband wakes up from one of his drinking spouts. Sometimes he's slept it off but other times is still feeling the effects. I feel...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading from Courage to Change talks about the 12th Step - Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principals in all our affairs...What a promise - if we work these steps, we can have a spiritual awakening - hope...

MomInMo · MomInMo

So, I tried doing step three. I mean, I answered the questions from the beige book on the topic. Well, my answers didn't confirm my resolve, they just exposed my confusion. :) So, I've been trying to figure it all out. I had a friend help me kind of get a better hold on what I'd be willing to pray to. So, las...

shrnp · shrnp

Hello everyone, At the present time I have a friend or ex-bf, in the hospital who is very sick. I thought he was just going for detox as usual but he has hepatitis B, and has been in the ICU for 5-6 days. We have been broken up for about three years. We stay in touch sometimes, we have the same friends, and I h...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

AlAnon encourages us to keep the focus on the positive rather than the negative. Today's page points to the value of doing this when rooting out unwanted behavior. Rather than avoidance through willpower, we focus energy and effort on the positive replacement behavior. Today's Reminder: Whateve...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good Morning Everyone: Today's reading focuses on our Serenity-- how we work toward it and maintain it through working the program; how we give it away when reacting to alcoholic behavior. The writer states that some of the ways we practice the principles of the program to maintain serenity includ...

kkc · kkc

I am new to this group and only went to a few face to face meetings about a year ago. I have a very dear friend who is really struggling with alcoholism. I have known him for almost 20 years and only in the last 5 or less did I even know he had a problem...and then I just thought he just would drink when he was sa...

messmate · messmate

Hi folks, I have a question - or maybe a problem. I guess I know the answer in principle, but maybe I need to hear it from some wiser heads. My encounter with alcoholism was relatively brief and low amplitude (by which I mean that there was no physical violence or infidelity etc, mainly lying and manipul...

tealfighter · tealfighter

I would like to hear some positive post recovery love stories.

Dell22 · Dell22

I was dating a man who is an alcoholic. He had blackouts and left for two weeks to go to an old girlfriends. After he returned home he has been calling me constantly and is saying he is attending AA. But I know he has bee drinking and is denying it. Yesterday was the last straw. I told him he was a drunke...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

So my AS texted me last night. I really haven't heard much from him. It was a very cordial exchange. He told me he had a job interview today. Supposedly he and his girlfriend have been out and about looking for jobs. Good for them. I was able to tell him good luck and that I am confident that he will be able to f...

Worldofhope · Worldofhope

Hello! So I know the holidays are rough on most people so I wanted to say Happy Holidays from me. :) Anyway, so I'm rather new here. Long story short someone close in my family (father) has been an alcoholic my whole life. I've never seen him sober even though I've lived with him for my whole life. Being in m...

LinSC · LinSC

My husband was ACOA, if you didnt know him you would have thought he was a drinker. But he never touched a drop or drugs or anything like that. But he had the same exact symptoms of a full blown alcoholic. I was married for many years but after realizing me and my children were always walking on eggs, I divor...

Fooled · Fooled

Im sitting here the morning after my best friend, maid of honor in my wedding, passed away suddenly of a massive heart attack. She was only 52. Life was never kind to her. She struggled her whole life. She married young to an alcoholic and had four kids. She stayed and did the best she could for 13...

New member needs guidance · Suki

Hi. I have a 24 year old daughter in detox and hoping to get her into rehab right after. She is extremely manipulative and I am her biggest enabler. She has bipolar disorder and anxiety disorder and says she drinks because of the anxiety even though she is on her klonopin. I need real help in setting an...

WaitingForTheSun · WaitingForTheSun

Hello, I'm a newcomer looking for an experienced female sponsor. I'm in a relationship with a sober alcoholic, am an adult child of an alcoholic & am what my partner calls "a stone cold codependent." Any guidance, direction or advice would be very much appreciated. I really need to get the ball r...

MomInMo · MomInMo

I can't stand celebacy. I just can't stand it. Not a sex addict, just a damn need. Well, I'm too old for one night stands. I want a relationship. After being in a nearly celebrate marriage to a man with different addiction issues for over a decade I got divorced. Started dating. Turns out he's a recove...

DrowningSorrow · DrowningSorrow

Hello, I am new here and I am hoping this will help me gain some peace of mind. I have stopped by a local Al-anon meeting and I just can't seem to get comfortable there. I will keep trying but I thought this might be helpful in the time being as well. I am married to an Alcoholic, it's been 3 years of pure hell...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I have read that it is important to provide encouragement to a person suffering from alcoholism. My confusion comes from my understanding of detachment. While I am trying to detach I do not feel that I am encouraging but rather ignoring and being distant while I am taking care of myself. I have done...

James Brown · James Brown

She gave AA a shot a few times and has been unsuccessful. Most recently relapsed just shy of 30 day and about to hit thirty days soon. this weekend she was to do bunch of step work and didnt because she was with me. I had no idea. we argued sunday night and the truth came out. she never told her sponsor she wa...

_bunny_ · _bunny_

Before starting the program it never occurred to me that I had been neglecting myself. Through working the steps and reading the literature I realized I have choices, and what an amazing realization that is. I have made the choice to live every moment for me, myself and I and I choose to make decisions t...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

In today's Hope for Today, one member describes how gratitude took on new meaning in the program. No longer the end result, felt only when things went 'their way' or as they expected, gratitude became the means to a much better end: serenity.Working persistently on our program allows us to find grati...

shrnp · shrnp

I am having a hard time defining my higher power. I have worked the second step when I went to AA 14 years ago but since that time my feelings about religion have changed. The politics of today are not helping. I moved to the southern USA 20 years ago, and their are a lot of good people that go to nice churche...

luv123 · luv123

So grateful to attend a wonderful meeting this morning. There were some good examples of detaching with love and non-judgement. About how to simply not go to every fight or crisis we are invited to. I always thought I at least owed an RSVP--lol! But in Al-anon I learn I have choices and I don't owe explan...

vvv · vvv

Hi all, So my AexBF seems to be willing to go to rehab, however I know he will not go unless he knows that he wont have to worry about bills while he's gone and when he gets back. His parents will pay for the rehab, but it's the bills at the house that I cannot afford nor do I think it's my responsibility as I don...

KTLou · KTLou

Hi All, Im new to the forum and am in need of a little advice. My father is/was a recovering Alcoholic. He has been sober for 12 years. I now have reason to believe that he has started drinking again. After a few phone calls where his speech has been slurred and he has been acting very out of the ordinary. I ju...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for January 22 speaks about praying, and that what we pray for may not be what we truly need. The reading points out we are only able to see a little way and our vision is clouded by our present situation, in the happenings and distractions of our lives. If the problems we have to face are b...

shrnp · shrnp

I have been dealing with my ex A's family because he is in the hospital too sick to take care of himself. I normally do not talk to them at all because they have some dysfunctional relationships amongst themselves. I am angry that I have to deal with this. I am trying to justify to myself that I can just wal...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for 1-22 focuses on "Detachment ". Since this is such a powerful tool in Al-Anon there are many pages devoted to explaining the process. This one suggests that we look at "detachment" in the following way. For example if see someone asleep on the floor, instea...

JustForMeNow · JustForMeNow

I have no addiction in my family history so have been somewhat slow to realize that my husband is an alcoholic. Of course looking back over our 12 years together I can see so many red flags about his addiction problem. He is aware of it too, even attended AA in his 20's (40's now). He refuses to get any kind...

MissM · MissM

Today's C2C talks about learning to distinguish what is and isn't our business; when we can tell the difference and become able to allow other people to handle their own business instead of thinking we have to "look after" everyone, we can then start to take notice of and attend to out own needs properl...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Alcoholic Parent dragging me in again (Preview) Well, first time here so bear with.... I'm 44, child of two alcoholics - turbulent, horrible, passive-aggressive, co-dependent marriage with lots of domestic violence. Ex self harmer, ex abusive marriage - usual ACOA stuff, I'm a bad person, I couldn't fix things, I deserve to be married to a dread...	Medhuil	4	649	Jan 31, 2017 by shrnp
	Just alcoholic or narcissist too (Preview) Hi everyone This is my first post on this site though I have been reading other people's posts for a while now and attending alanon meetings regularly for a few years. I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic for three and a half years now. He is a binge drinker, he was drinking a lot for the first cou...	Sorcha	14	3384	Jan 31, 2017 by shrnp
	The Serenity Prayer - long version (Preview) I have known the Serenity Prayer my entire life - a needlepoint of it hung above our kitchen table when I was growing up - but I just discovered there is a longer version! Just wanted to share it, for anyone else who did not know there is more than what we say in meetings.Serenity PrayerGod grant me the se...	oceanpine	4	6408	Jan 31, 2017 by El
	First meeting in a few years (Preview) Well, back to my first meeting after a few years. I remember that when I was going to meetings and reading the Al-Anon literature I could still love and detach. When I got away from the program, I was sinking very, very slowly until I had such anxiety and insomnia that could hardly be controlled. Also...	wifeofalcoholic	3	600	Jan 31, 2017 by Iamhere
	Back at it (Preview) I've been out and about. Just came back to recharge the batteries. I had momentarily forgotten my login info so I used a new one, but memory still serves me. Lots of new faces. Great to see that some of the old ones are still here. To the new members, give it time, whatever IT is. Trust your higher power. I le...	Wolfie55	7	786	Jan 31, 2017 by Maresie25
	Death in family - no support (Preview) I slept a couple of hours and now awake feeling so much anxiety by my AH relapse. I am going through a death in the family and it is so much more painful with my AH drinking, lying and not being emotionally available. If you have stayed in your relationship, what things do you do to cope and detach. I feel so r...	wifeofalcoholic	6	915	Jan 31, 2017 by Maresie25
	1-30-17 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (Preview) Regarding Step 1, today's reading notes that many of us found AlAnon after trying everything else so admitting our life was unmanageable might not have been a stretch. Fully accepting our powerlessness over alcohol, people and outcomes, however, is often much more challenging. Today's Reminder...	Enigmatic	5	636	Jan 30, 2017 by Enigmatic
	Realizing my husband has a problem and I need support (Preview) First post, I've just been reading until now. I found this board a few weeks ago and it feels like I'm reading about my own life, it has made me feel like I'm not alone and validated that my husband has a problem whether he admits to it or not. We've known each other for almost 20 years, been married 10. I did...	LoLo23	10	863	Jan 30, 2017 by Cammi45
	Positive Thoughts re John's Health (Preview) I've been reading some of the posts and I have to say I'm saddened to hear about John's health. My wife (Nancy aka PEI Lady) and I were just talking about that. We've been coming here on and aff for about 15 years and John is just someone you expect to see. Naturally, we thought he'd live forever. We always t...	Wolfie55	1	542	Jan 30, 2017 by hotrod
	Detox was just to much for my friend (Preview) This is my second post, I did not know if I should write this as part of the other one or not. My friend, ex-bf has wet brain and has suffered brain damage while going through detox. He has to go into a nursing home because his is not eating on his own. He was not strong enough, and he had been living off of vodka...	shrnp	9	793	Jan 30, 2017 by Wolfie55
	Dealing with families (Preview) I have been having a hard time accepting or dealing with with my qualifiers family. He has been able to talk to me after 14 days of being in the hospital. I had been talking to his sister, and she was not being too specific about his condition. She told me bits and pieces. He is doing better than expected, b...	shrnp	8	706	Jan 30, 2017 by Iamhere
	Feeling some sort of way (Preview) Since the death of my friend so suddenly and unexpectedly I have really really been leaning into my program. Lots of meetings, readings, and reflection. Its amazing how you can put things in perspective after a tragedy. Surprisingly Ive done a lot of growth. Ive gained some tolerance, I have...	Fooled	7	3347	Jan 30, 2017 by Iamhere
	Thoughts on using sarcasm (Preview) My partner and I are both very sarcastic people. But, with program work, i am seeing that sometimes I use it to cover up my real emotions or to make light of something that's bothering me or to maybe use it in unhealthy ways. I see my partner do the same at times. I''m wondering how to work this into my reco...	andromeda	10	3106	Jan 30, 2017 by Iamhere
	Relapses (Preview) I am brand new to al-anon. I have read some information online and have ordered the book and can't wait to read it. I have a question while I wait for it to come and would like some advice from people that have similar problems. My bf is currently in AA, and has had a few relapses. I am at a loss as what to do a...	NCJo	11	847	Jan 30, 2017 by Fooled
	He left with a roar... (Preview) My wife was talking with our sister in law...the wife of my brother so recently passed. My sister-in-law said that at the time he passed he was being attended by his eldest son and a son-in-law and the house was quiet with the exception of a loud rumble like as if a hot-rod (not you Betty) had quickly pa...	Jerry F	17	1018	Jan 30, 2017 by Doingmybest
	I am at a loss (Preview) I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years, and about a year ago he decided he wanted to get sober. I was happy to see him want to make a change but it has been a rocky road for us. We recently decided to move into together in May. His drinking became a game and he was now trying to be sneaky and hide it fro...	arasrallim	8	851	Jan 30, 2017 by Fooled
	ODAT Reading for 1-29-2017 (Preview) ODA T reading for January 29 speaks about being obligated to help others because of our common humanity. The reading points out that we should not do for them what they can and should do for themselves. Mutual dependence is one of the comforts and rewards of marriage each partner must do his job and...	hotrod	7	725	Jan 30, 2017 by Wolfie55
	I had a relapse (Preview) and am now in the hang over stage. Do enablers and do-dependents relapse? Sure do and it sucks bad time. I went to my morning AA meeting and the subject was on and around Steps 4 thru 10 and I even shared my ESH on the subject or maybe just gave it away. After the meeting I came home with a stop at the gas s...	Jerry F	5	680	Jan 29, 2017 by Jerry F
	Johns Status.... ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Hi everyone. I am quite concerned re Johns status as he was unable to be present at the meeting he called for the future of this board. Is any One person able to make a connection with him, or his home? I Do believe this should be done. Also for to find out the access to keep this board up and running, and...	IAmStrong	44	2895	Jan 29, 2017 by wp
	Reading Material (Preview) Hey Everyone. As I mentioned earlier, I am new to the program. I love reading the message boards and want to read as much as I can to familiarize myself with the program. I ordered the book Courage to Change and I received it today. From what I have read thus far, I think it will be a great help. It just was...	NCJo	5	3755	Jan 29, 2017 by KennyFenderjazz
	Resentment... (Preview) I divorced an alcoholic two years ago. We have a small child together and since my ex was not happy about my decision to divorce, a custody battle ensued and it was a highly contentious divorce. I had hoped and prayed that over time, the relationship between my ex and I would get better but we have inste...	Vivian10	3	731	Jan 29, 2017 by Iamhere
	Mad at myself (Preview) I am so mad at mysel! I don't know how to set boundaries and enforce them. I told my AH that in order for him to live at our house he cannot drink. He became violent almost 3 months ago and went to jail and the court ordered him not to drink. That order was lifted a couple weeks ago and now he is back drinking afte...	Dlove	8	675	Jan 29, 2017 by Maresie25
	Courage To Change 28/1 (Preview) Todays c2c talks about how important it is to 'keep coming back"- even when we might no longer live with an alcoholic or be directly affected by another's alcoholism in our day to day lives. It points out that many people have been in the program for years and years and stay for the serenity they find and t...	MissM	2	551	Jan 28, 2017 by hotrod
	Love yourself - how do you know when you're doing it enough? (Preview) Okay, so one of the things I've really taken to hear is that you have to love yourself. That if you find the happiness inside your self, you stop looking for someone else to fill that need. That you stop loving others for the fantasy of them and for the real them. I have felt a major shift inside of me. I know I...	MomInMo	13	762	Jan 27, 2017 by el-cee
	SMH (Preview) As I mentioned a few days ago, daughter has a friend staying with us. (It's the last week of summer holidays). Last night we were to go to the waterfront for the Aus day celebrations and fireworks (bands, people, general revelry) and I was quite looking forward to it. I had in mind that I might make the eff...	MissM	3	685	Jan 27, 2017 by el-cee
	ODAT reading 1/27 (Preview) I hear a lot of compassion & not wollowing in self pity in this reading. Staying in today and not predicting this to be a forever thing I cannot deal with. In it I hear about caring without being a crutch. That takes practice and listening to how others have walked this path. "I love you but..." were 4 w...	luv123	1	524	Jan 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 1/27/17 (Preview) Today's daily reading talks about the mental and emotional impact the disease has on us - the family and friends of the alcoholic. We tend to over react or react in moments that are not always the cause of our frustration, sadness, etc. The example given talks about a partner who is frustrated enough...	Iamhere	3	1648	Jan 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	Frustration (Preview) I am frustrated with (not my AS) but my EX Hub. I know I can't change his behavior or his choices but it is killing me because I know his so called badgering to my AS is pushing my son further away. My ex continues to text my son with guilt ridden messages. He is just as manipulating as my AS. He just doesn'...	Tannersmom	3	791	Jan 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	Bi-Sexuality and Alcoholism (Preview) Hello Everyone, I've been off the grid for awhile. Trying to sort out the "drama" in my life. My Ex-ABF has told me (to my face) that he doesn't want to quit drinking and he likes the buzz. He sees nothing wrong with having a "sip" every once in awhile. Well that sip turns into a binge. He can't control...	starcatcher2	12	740	Jan 27, 2017 by starcatcher2
	When they wake up after drinking... (Preview) Since I just found this board I'm not sure if this is something I will learn in meetings, etc. but still wanted to ask from personal experience. I don't know how to act after my husband wakes up from one of his drinking spouts. Sometimes he's slept it off but other times is still feeling the effects. I feel...	LoLo23	1	624	Jan 26, 2017 by a4l
	Courage to Change (C2C) 1/26/17 (Preview) Today's reading from Courage to Change talks about the 12th Step - Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principals in all our affairs...What a promise - if we work these steps, we can have a spiritual awakening - hope...	Iamhere	3	536	Jan 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	Step 3 Anxiety (Preview) So, I tried doing step three. I mean, I answered the questions from the beige book on the topic. Well, my answers didn't confirm my resolve, they just exposed my confusion. :) So, I've been trying to figure it all out. I had a friend help me kind of get a better hold on what I'd be willing to pray to. So, las...	MomInMo	7	1682	Jan 26, 2017 by maryjane
	New, not sure where to start (Preview) Hello everyone, At the present time I have a friend or ex-bf, in the hospital who is very sick. I thought he was just going for detox as usual but he has hepatitis B, and has been in the ICU for 5-6 days. We have been broken up for about three years. We stay in touch sometimes, we have the same friends, and I h...	shrnp	15	932	Jan 25, 2017 by Iamhere
	1/25/17 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (Preview) AlAnon encourages us to keep the focus on the positive rather than the negative. Today's page points to the value of doing this when rooting out unwanted behavior. Rather than avoidance through willpower, we focus energy and effort on the positive replacement behavior. Today's Reminder: Whateve...	Enigmatic	4	558	Jan 25, 2017 by MissM
	Hope for Today Jan 24 (Preview) Good Morning Everyone: Today's reading focuses on our Serenity-- how we work toward it and maintain it through working the program; how we give it away when reacting to alcoholic behavior. The writer states that some of the ways we practice the principles of the program to maintain serenity includ...	yanksfan51	6	606	Jan 25, 2017 by Iamhere
	I need detox (Preview) I am new to this group and only went to a few face to face meetings about a year ago. I have a very dear friend who is really struggling with alcoholism. I have known him for almost 20 years and only in the last 5 or less did I even know he had a problem...and then I just thought he just would drink when he was sa...	kkc	3	612	Jan 25, 2017 by Maresie25
	Coy About Attending Local AlAnon Meeting (Preview) Hi folks, I have a question - or maybe a problem. I guess I know the answer in principle, but maybe I need to hear it from some wiser heads. My encounter with alcoholism was relatively brief and low amplitude (by which I mean that there was no physical violence or infidelity etc, mainly lying and manipul...	messmate	7	728	Jan 25, 2017 by Maresie25
	Love Stories (Preview) I would like to hear some positive post recovery love stories.	tealfighter	10	1451	Jan 25, 2017 by Maresie25
	Long Distance Alcoholic (Preview) I was dating a man who is an alcoholic. He had blackouts and left for two weeks to go to an old girlfriends. After he returned home he has been calling me constantly and is saying he is attending AA. But I know he has bee drinking and is denying it. Yesterday was the last straw. I told him he was a drunke...	Dell22	7	595	Jan 25, 2017 by Dell22
	So he texted me (Preview) So my AS texted me last night. I really haven't heard much from him. It was a very cordial exchange. He told me he had a job interview today. Supposedly he and his girlfriend have been out and about looking for jobs. Good for them. I was able to tell him good luck and that I am confident that he will be able to f...	Tannersmom	4	2947	Jan 24, 2017 by _bunny_
	Confused (Preview) Hello! So I know the holidays are rough on most people so I wanted to say Happy Holidays from me. :) Anyway, so I'm rather new here. Long story short someone close in my family (father) has been an alcoholic my whole life. I've never seen him sober even though I've lived with him for my whole life. Being in m...	Worldofhope	8	642	Jan 24, 2017 by Worldofhope
	Indecision (Preview) My husband was ACOA, if you didnt know him you would have thought he was a drinker. But he never touched a drop or drugs or anything like that. But he had the same exact symptoms of a full blown alcoholic. I was married for many years but after realizing me and my children were always walking on eggs, I divor...	LinSC	9	902	Jan 24, 2017 by pinkchip
	Life on Life's terms (Preview) Im sitting here the morning after my best friend, maid of honor in my wedding, passed away suddenly of a massive heart attack. She was only 52. Life was never kind to her. She struggled her whole life. She married young to an alcoholic and had four kids. She stayed and did the best she could for 13...	Fooled	7	840	Jan 24, 2017 by tiredtonite
	New member needs guidance (Preview) Hi. I have a 24 year old daughter in detox and hoping to get her into rehab right after. She is extremely manipulative and I am her biggest enabler. She has bipolar disorder and anxiety disorder and says she drinks because of the anxiety even though she is on her klonopin. I need real help in setting an...	Suki	12	678	Jan 24, 2017 by Jerry F
	Seeking Sponsor (Preview) Hello, I'm a newcomer looking for an experienced female sponsor. I'm in a relationship with a sober alcoholic, am an adult child of an alcoholic & am what my partner calls "a stone cold codependent." Any guidance, direction or advice would be very much appreciated. I really need to get the ball r...	WaitingForTheSun	12	3819	Jan 24, 2017 by Maresie25
	Irritable - want relationship, sex - don't feel ready - not sure how to get ready (Preview) I can't stand celebacy. I just can't stand it. Not a sex addict, just a damn need. Well, I'm too old for one night stands. I want a relationship. After being in a nearly celebrate marriage to a man with different addiction issues for over a decade I got divorced. Started dating. Turns out he's a recove...	MomInMo	14	952	Jan 24, 2017 by Maresie25
	New here (Preview) Hello, I am new here and I am hoping this will help me gain some peace of mind. I have stopped by a local Al-anon meeting and I just can't seem to get comfortable there. I will keep trying but I thought this might be helpful in the time being as well. I am married to an Alcoholic, it's been 3 years of pure hell...	DrowningSorrow	6	690	Jan 24, 2017 by Maresie25
	Encouragement vs. Detachment (Preview) I have read that it is important to provide encouragement to a person suffering from alcoholism. My confusion comes from my understanding of detachment. While I am trying to detach I do not feel that I am encouraging but rather ignoring and being distant while I am taking care of myself. I have done...	wifeofalcoholic	7	1224	Jan 24, 2017 by Maresie25
	My girl friend recently started program (almost 30 days) and is hiding our relationship from her sponsor (Preview) She gave AA a shot a few times and has been unsuccessful. Most recently relapsed just shy of 30 day and about to hit thirty days soon. this weekend she was to do bunch of step work and didnt because she was with me. I had no idea. we argued sunday night and the truth came out. she never told her sponsor she wa...	James Brown	10	767	Jan 24, 2017 by Maresie25
	Taking care of me (Preview) Before starting the program it never occurred to me that I had been neglecting myself. Through working the steps and reading the literature I realized I have choices, and what an amazing realization that is. I have made the choice to live every moment for me, myself and I and I choose to make decisions t...	_bunny_	14	1036	Jan 24, 2017 by Maresie25
	1/23/17 Hope for Today (Preview) In today's Hope for Today, one member describes how gratitude took on new meaning in the program. No longer the end result, felt only when things went 'their way' or as they expected, gratitude became the means to a much better end: serenity.Working persistently on our program allows us to find grati...	Enigmatic	9	584	Jan 24, 2017 by serenity47
	Working the second step. (Preview) I am having a hard time defining my higher power. I have worked the second step when I went to AA 14 years ago but since that time my feelings about religion have changed. The politics of today are not helping. I moved to the southern USA 20 years ago, and their are a lot of good people that go to nice churche...	shrnp	3	698	Jan 23, 2017 by Jerry F
	Good insights on detachment from f2f meeting today (Preview) So grateful to attend a wonderful meeting this morning. There were some good examples of detaching with love and non-judgement. About how to simply not go to every fight or crisis we are invited to. I always thought I at least owed an RSVP--lol! But in Al-anon I learn I have choices and I don't owe explan...	luv123	4	697	Jan 23, 2017 by shrnp
	Rehab Question (Preview) Hi all, So my AexBF seems to be willing to go to rehab, however I know he will not go unless he knows that he wont have to worry about bills while he's gone and when he gets back. His parents will pay for the rehab, but it's the bills at the house that I cannot afford nor do I think it's my responsibility as I don...	vvv	5	667	Jan 23, 2017 by LinSC
	I need some advice - new to the forum (Preview) Hi All, Im new to the forum and am in need of a little advice. My father is/was a recovering Alcoholic. He has been sober for 12 years. I now have reason to believe that he has started drinking again. After a few phone calls where his speech has been slurred and he has been acting very out of the ordinary. I ju...	KTLou	3	620	Jan 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT reading 1-22-2017 (Preview) The ODA T reading for January 22 speaks about praying, and that what we pray for may not be what we truly need. The reading points out we are only able to see a little way and our vision is clouded by our present situation, in the happenings and distractions of our lives. If the problems we have to face are b...	hotrod	2	568	Jan 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	I just want peace of mind. (Preview) I have been dealing with my ex A's family because he is in the hospital too sick to take care of himself. I normally do not talk to them at all because they have some dysfunctional relationships amongst themselves. I am angry that I have to deal with this. I am trying to justify to myself that I can just wal...	shrnp	5	3330	Jan 22, 2017 by 2HP
	Courage to Change Reading 1-22-16 (Preview) C2C reading for 1-22 focuses on "Detachment ". Since this is such a powerful tool in Al-Anon there are many pages devoted to explaining the process. This one suggests that we look at "detachment" in the following way. For example if see someone asleep on the floor, instea...	hotrod	6	2069	Jan 22, 2017 by luv123
	What should I tell my kids when they ask why daddy drinks so much beer? (Preview) I have no addiction in my family history so have been somewhat slow to realize that my husband is an alcoholic. Of course looking back over our 12 years together I can see so many red flags about his addiction problem. He is aware of it too, even attended AA in his 20's (40's now). He refuses to get any kind...	JustForMeNow	7	923	Jan 22, 2017 by hiraeth
	Courage to change 21/1 (Preview) Today's C2C talks about learning to distinguish what is and isn't our business; when we can tell the difference and become able to allow other people to handle their own business instead of thinking we have to "look after" everyone, we can then start to take notice of and attend to out own needs properl...	MissM	4	613	Jan 21, 2017 by vvv
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.