Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

Today is a day that my mind is all over the place. It seems that whenever my ex starts chatting about our AS I start to revert back to my worry and fix mode. My AS texted my ex last night and said he wanted him to pick him up. About 45 min later he said never mind. He is with this very controlling girl and I am afrai...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

I have been talking with a Rhonda Rowley who is a friend of John's and has been spending time with him as she is able. She has requested that I ask anyone who may be in the Wilmington, North Carolina area who can perhaps volunteer to spend some time sitting with John to give her a call. Her number is 336-447...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

This week I will celebrate my fifth year of being a grateful Al-Anon member. In the last five years, so much has changed! When I finally got up enough courage to attend my first meeting, I had accidentally run across my AH's lab results, which showed that he had untreated diabetes and cirrhosis, and my A...

kzoomom79 · kzoomom79

So this goes back awhile. When I was pregnant for Our son My husband was never home. He was always out drinking with his buddies. Coming home late and drunk quite often. He told me our sons room would be finished before he was born.NOPE! After I had our son I thought he would change.Nope. He still was o...

Munch · Munch

Sooo much to say. I'm exhausted, overwhelmed and wish I was a LOT farther along in the detach with love process. Everything he says and does affects me. Everything. Background: I believe he's bipolar. Family history, and symptoms lead me to this decision. His drinking has escalated to the point that...

barry wand · barry wand

my names barry. yesterday i had a bloody good day sorting out my chronic debts. it all went well and things are in progress with an action plan. i feel like the monkey has been lifted from my shoulders. it was scary but the best thing i did to address the monkey in the room. my problem was that my default set...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about the program of Al-Anon leading to serenity vs. fixing the qualifier or undoing the damage caused by the disease. The writer suggests sitting on a mountaintop with a silly grin was her idea of serenity and she was instead a person with interest in passion. Over time, the wr...

Gapgirl · Gapgirl

After 13 years of marriage and two kids I decided I could not take anymore of his behavior. I decided no matter how hard it would be I was better off and could do this on my own. I needed peace in my home and my kids are I are doing just fine. He's a good Dad and is there for us. So I consider myself lucky. My husb...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP Family....Today's reading discusses attitudes and outlooks prior to Al-Anon. The writer suggests being on a ladder where others were either above or below them. God was way, way, way at the top, and those below were there to be pitied. This was a hard, lonely way to live as no two pe...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

Hello all, Haven't posted in awhile. It's been 1 step forward, 2 steps back over the past year. What finally brought me to me knees was reviewing my journal over the past 10 years and seeing the pattern with my AH over all that time. It is so easy so lull myself into a false security when I think "well, it...

Schnunkell · Schnunkell

hello just a brief background , I am British but live in Italy with my husband . We have been together 16 years and his alcoholism has now , and after gradually growing become a huge problem , and a very dangerous problem I a man trying to keep everything going , the business , homelife etc but have found m...

CristeenRivers · CristeenRivers

I am not sure if this is the right place for me. I have several issues I am dealing with. I'd kind of like to find one place to find some advice. Before I begin, I am seeing someone for medication for behavioral issues but my therapist recently retired; the others in his office are not taking 'new clients'....

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery link;http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t63186259/alanon-step-12-2-1-2017/

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

It has been said that it is our best thinking that got us to AlAnon. In AlAnon we also hear that a power greater than ourselves can lead us back to sanity. Today's reading reminds us it is a gradual process, fueled by hope. Belief this is possible may begin by just seeing or hearing that others found peace d...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

I don't know if this is an al-anom related post but it's where my head is right now. As some of you know, I'm involved in a community outreach up here, it's something we took upon ourselves to do a few years back and it occupies a lot of our time. One of the main things we do is knit warm clothing for people les...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

Mom, What are you doing tonight? I haven't eaten in 2 days and I can't give plasma for money. Wondering if you have any food in your house. He is an hour away. I sent him links to shelters and soup kitchens. He proceeded to tell me he had no money for gas. I am so sad but know I need to let him experience his ow...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone: Today's reading is a focus on unity of purpose and how for the writer, the meaning of that phrase has changed over time. The writer states that when he/she first came to program unity of purpose meant it was possible to go to a roomful of people who accepted irrational thinking....

Medhuil · Medhuil

Well, first time here so bear with.... I'm 44, child of two alcoholics - turbulent, horrible, passive-aggressive, co-dependent marriage with lots of domestic violence. Ex self harmer, ex abusive marriage - usual ACOA stuff, I'm a bad person, I couldn't fix things, I deserve to be married to a dread...

Sorcha · Sorcha

Hi everyone This is my first post on this site though I have been reading other people's posts for a while now and attending alanon meetings regularly for a few years. I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic for three and a half years now. He is a binge drinker, he was drinking a lot for the first cou...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I have known the Serenity Prayer my entire life - a needlepoint of it hung above our kitchen table when I was growing up - but I just discovered there is a longer version! Just wanted to share it, for anyone else who did not know there is more than what we say in meetings.Serenity PrayerGod grant me the se...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

Well, back to my first meeting after a few years. I remember that when I was going to meetings and reading the Al-Anon literature I could still love and detach. When I got away from the program, I was sinking very, very slowly until I had such anxiety and insomnia that could hardly be controlled. Also...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

I've been out and about. Just came back to recharge the batteries. I had momentarily forgotten my login info so I used a new one, but memory still serves me. Lots of new faces. Great to see that some of the old ones are still here. To the new members, give it time, whatever IT is. Trust your higher power. I le...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I slept a couple of hours and now awake feeling so much anxiety by my AH relapse. I am going through a death in the family and it is so much more painful with my AH drinking, lying and not being emotionally available. If you have stayed in your relationship, what things do you do to cope and detach. I feel so r...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Regarding Step 1, today's reading notes that many of us found AlAnon after trying everything else so admitting our life was unmanageable might not have been a stretch. Fully accepting our powerlessness over alcohol, people and outcomes, however, is often much more challenging. Today's Reminder...

LoLo23 · LoLo23

First post, I've just been reading until now. I found this board a few weeks ago and it feels like I'm reading about my own life, it has made me feel like I'm not alone and validated that my husband has a problem whether he admits to it or not. We've known each other for almost 20 years, been married 10. I did...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

I've been reading some of the posts and I have to say I'm saddened to hear about John's health. My wife (Nancy aka PEI Lady) and I were just talking about that. We've been coming here on and aff for about 15 years and John is just someone you expect to see. Naturally, we thought he'd live forever. We always t...

shrnp · shrnp

This is my second post, I did not know if I should write this as part of the other one or not. My friend, ex-bf has wet brain and has suffered brain damage while going through detox. He has to go into a nursing home because his is not eating on his own. He was not strong enough, and he had been living off of vodka...

shrnp · shrnp

I have been having a hard time accepting or dealing with with my qualifiers family. He has been able to talk to me after 14 days of being in the hospital. I had been talking to his sister, and she was not being too specific about his condition. She told me bits and pieces. He is doing better than expected, b...

Fooled · Fooled

Since the death of my friend so suddenly and unexpectedly I have really really been leaning into my program. Lots of meetings, readings, and reflection. Its amazing how you can put things in perspective after a tragedy. Surprisingly Ive done a lot of growth. Ive gained some tolerance, I have...

andromeda · andromeda

My partner and I are both very sarcastic people. But, with program work, i am seeing that sometimes I use it to cover up my real emotions or to make light of something that's bothering me or to maybe use it in unhealthy ways. I see my partner do the same at times. I''m wondering how to work this into my reco...

NCJo · NCJo

I am brand new to al-anon. I have read some information online and have ordered the book and can't wait to read it. I have a question while I wait for it to come and would like some advice from people that have similar problems. My bf is currently in AA, and has had a few relapses. I am at a loss as what to do a...

Jerry F · Jerry F

My wife was talking with our sister in law...the wife of my brother so recently passed. My sister-in-law said that at the time he passed he was being attended by his eldest son and a son-in-law and the house was quiet with the exception of a loud rumble like as if a hot-rod (not you Betty) had quickly pa...

arasrallim · arasrallim

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years, and about a year ago he decided he wanted to get sober. I was happy to see him want to make a change but it has been a rocky road for us. We recently decided to move into together in May. His drinking became a game and he was now trying to be sneaky and hide it fro...

hotrod · hotrod

ODA T reading for January 29 speaks about being obligated to help others because of our common humanity. The reading points out that we should not do for them what they can and should do for themselves. Mutual dependence is one of the comforts and rewards of marriage each partner must do his job and...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and am now in the hang over stage. Do enablers and do-dependents relapse? Sure do and it sucks bad time. I went to my morning AA meeting and the subject was on and around Steps 4 thru 10 and I even shared my ESH on the subject or maybe just gave it away. After the meeting I came home with a stop at the gas s...

IAmStrong · IAmStrong

Hi everyone. I am quite concerned re Johns status as he was unable to be present at the meeting he called for the future of this board. Is any One person able to make a connection with him, or his home? I Do believe this should be done. Also for to find out the access to keep this board up and running, and...

NCJo · NCJo

Hey Everyone. As I mentioned earlier, I am new to the program. I love reading the message boards and want to read as much as I can to familiarize myself with the program. I ordered the book Courage to Change and I received it today. From what I have read thus far, I think it will be a great help. It just was...

Vivian10 · Vivian10

I divorced an alcoholic two years ago. We have a small child together and since my ex was not happy about my decision to divorce, a custody battle ensued and it was a highly contentious divorce. I had hoped and prayed that over time, the relationship between my ex and I would get better but we have inste...

Dlove · Dlove

I am so mad at mysel! I don't know how to set boundaries and enforce them. I told my AH that in order for him to live at our house he cannot drink. He became violent almost 3 months ago and went to jail and the court ordered him not to drink. That order was lifted a couple weeks ago and now he is back drinking afte...

MissM · MissM

Todays c2c talks about how important it is to 'keep coming back"- even when we might no longer live with an alcoholic or be directly affected by another's alcoholism in our day to day lives. It points out that many people have been in the program for years and years and stay for the serenity they find and t...

MomInMo · MomInMo

Okay, so one of the things I've really taken to hear is that you have to love yourself. That if you find the happiness inside your self, you stop looking for someone else to fill that need. That you stop loving others for the fantasy of them and for the real them. I have felt a major shift inside of me. I know I...

MissM · MissM

As I mentioned a few days ago, daughter has a friend staying with us. (It's the last week of summer holidays). Last night we were to go to the waterfront for the Aus day celebrations and fireworks (bands, people, general revelry) and I was quite looking forward to it. I had in mind that I might make the eff...

luv123 · luv123

I hear a lot of compassion & not wollowing in self pity in this reading. Staying in today and not predicting this to be a forever thing I cannot deal with. In it I hear about caring without being a crutch. That takes practice and listening to how others have walked this path. "I love you but..." were 4 w...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's daily reading talks about the mental and emotional impact the disease has on us - the family and friends of the alcoholic. We tend to over react or react in moments that are not always the cause of our frustration, sadness, etc. The example given talks about a partner who is frustrated enough...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

I am frustrated with (not my AS) but my EX Hub. I know I can't change his behavior or his choices but it is killing me because I know his so called badgering to my AS is pushing my son further away. My ex continues to text my son with guilt ridden messages. He is just as manipulating as my AS. He just doesn'...

starcatcher2 · starcatcher2

Hello Everyone, I've been off the grid for awhile. Trying to sort out the "drama" in my life. My Ex-ABF has told me (to my face) that he doesn't want to quit drinking and he likes the buzz. He sees nothing wrong with having a "sip" every once in awhile. Well that sip turns into a binge. He can't control...

LoLo23 · LoLo23

Since I just found this board I'm not sure if this is something I will learn in meetings, etc. but still wanted to ask from personal experience. I don't know how to act after my husband wakes up from one of his drinking spouts. Sometimes he's slept it off but other times is still feeling the effects. I feel...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading from Courage to Change talks about the 12th Step - Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principals in all our affairs...What a promise - if we work these steps, we can have a spiritual awakening - hope...

MomInMo · MomInMo

So, I tried doing step three. I mean, I answered the questions from the beige book on the topic. Well, my answers didn't confirm my resolve, they just exposed my confusion. :) So, I've been trying to figure it all out. I had a friend help me kind of get a better hold on what I'd be willing to pray to. So, las...

shrnp · shrnp

Hello everyone, At the present time I have a friend or ex-bf, in the hospital who is very sick. I thought he was just going for detox as usual but he has hepatitis B, and has been in the ICU for 5-6 days. We have been broken up for about three years. We stay in touch sometimes, we have the same friends, and I h...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

AlAnon encourages us to keep the focus on the positive rather than the negative. Today's page points to the value of doing this when rooting out unwanted behavior. Rather than avoidance through willpower, we focus energy and effort on the positive replacement behavior. Today's Reminder: Whateve...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good Morning Everyone: Today's reading focuses on our Serenity-- how we work toward it and maintain it through working the program; how we give it away when reacting to alcoholic behavior. The writer states that some of the ways we practice the principles of the program to maintain serenity includ...

kkc · kkc

I am new to this group and only went to a few face to face meetings about a year ago. I have a very dear friend who is really struggling with alcoholism. I have known him for almost 20 years and only in the last 5 or less did I even know he had a problem...and then I just thought he just would drink when he was sa...

messmate · messmate

Hi folks, I have a question - or maybe a problem. I guess I know the answer in principle, but maybe I need to hear it from some wiser heads. My encounter with alcoholism was relatively brief and low amplitude (by which I mean that there was no physical violence or infidelity etc, mainly lying and manipul...

tealfighter · tealfighter

I would like to hear some positive post recovery love stories.

Dell22 · Dell22

I was dating a man who is an alcoholic. He had blackouts and left for two weeks to go to an old girlfriends. After he returned home he has been calling me constantly and is saying he is attending AA. But I know he has bee drinking and is denying it. Yesterday was the last straw. I told him he was a drunke...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

So my AS texted me last night. I really haven't heard much from him. It was a very cordial exchange. He told me he had a job interview today. Supposedly he and his girlfriend have been out and about looking for jobs. Good for them. I was able to tell him good luck and that I am confident that he will be able to f...

Worldofhope · Worldofhope

Hello! So I know the holidays are rough on most people so I wanted to say Happy Holidays from me. :) Anyway, so I'm rather new here. Long story short someone close in my family (father) has been an alcoholic my whole life. I've never seen him sober even though I've lived with him for my whole life. Being in m...

LinSC · LinSC

My husband was ACOA, if you didnt know him you would have thought he was a drinker. But he never touched a drop or drugs or anything like that. But he had the same exact symptoms of a full blown alcoholic. I was married for many years but after realizing me and my children were always walking on eggs, I divor...

Fooled · Fooled

Im sitting here the morning after my best friend, maid of honor in my wedding, passed away suddenly of a massive heart attack. She was only 52. Life was never kind to her. She struggled her whole life. She married young to an alcoholic and had four kids. She stayed and did the best she could for 13...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	So today I am fearful (Preview) Today is a day that my mind is all over the place. It seems that whenever my ex starts chatting about our AS I start to revert back to my worry and fix mode. My AS texted my ex last night and said he wanted him to pick him up. About 45 min later he said never mind. He is with this very controlling girl and I am afrai...	Tannersmom	11	1484	Feb 4, 2017 by Peacefullyliving
	Update on John (Preview) I have been talking with a Rhonda Rowley who is a friend of John's and has been spending time with him as she is able. She has requested that I ask anyone who may be in the Wilmington, North Carolina area who can perhaps volunteer to spend some time sitting with John to give her a call. Her number is 336-447...	kismetstrand	3	452	Feb 4, 2017 by tiredtonite
	5 Year Al-Anon Anniversary (Preview) This week I will celebrate my fifth year of being a grateful Al-Anon member. In the last five years, so much has changed! When I finally got up enough courage to attend my first meeting, I had accidentally run across my AH's lab results, which showed that he had untreated diabetes and cirrhosis, and my A...	Green Eyes	11	1349	Feb 4, 2017 by Breakingfree
	Should I stay or should I go? (Preview) So this goes back awhile. When I was pregnant for Our son My husband was never home. He was always out drinking with his buddies. Coming home late and drunk quite often. He told me our sons room would be finished before he was born.NOPE! After I had our son I thought he would change.Nope. He still was o...	kzoomom79	13	851	Feb 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	New to Al-Anon (Preview) Sooo much to say. I'm exhausted, overwhelmed and wish I was a LOT farther along in the detach with love process. Everything he says and does affects me. Everything. Background: I believe he's bipolar. Family history, and symptoms lead me to this decision. His drinking has escalated to the point that...	Munch	16	720	Feb 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	sober celebrations (Preview) my names barry. yesterday i had a bloody good day sorting out my chronic debts. it all went well and things are in progress with an action plan. i feel like the monkey has been lifted from my shoulders. it was scary but the best thing i did to address the monkey in the room. my problem was that my default set...	barry wand	6	4619	Feb 3, 2017 by a4l
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/3/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about the program of Al-Anon leading to serenity vs. fixing the qualifier or undoing the damage caused by the disease. The writer suggests sitting on a mountaintop with a silly grin was her idea of serenity and she was instead a person with interest in passion. Over time, the wr...	Iamhere	1	400	Feb 3, 2017 by hotrod
	New member/just separated from spouse (Preview) After 13 years of marriage and two kids I decided I could not take anymore of his behavior. I decided no matter how hard it would be I was better off and could do this on my own. I needed peace in my home and my kids are I are doing just fine. He's a good Dad and is there for us. So I consider myself lucky. My husb...	Gapgirl	4	755	Feb 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/2/17 (Preview) Good morning MIP Family....Today's reading discusses attitudes and outlooks prior to Al-Anon. The writer suggests being on a ladder where others were either above or below them. God was way, way, way at the top, and those below were there to be pitied. This was a hard, lonely way to live as no two pe...	Iamhere	4	544	Feb 2, 2017 by shrnp
	1 step forward, 2 steps back... (Preview) Hello all, Haven't posted in awhile. It's been 1 step forward, 2 steps back over the past year. What finally brought me to me knees was reviewing my journal over the past 10 years and seeing the pattern with my AH over all that time. It is so easy so lull myself into a false security when I think "well, it...	newleaf66	8	2208	Feb 2, 2017 by Jerry F
	Need some advice , I don't know what to do ? (Preview) hello just a brief background , I am British but live in Italy with my husband . We have been together 16 years and his alcoholism has now , and after gradually growing become a huge problem , and a very dangerous problem I a man trying to keep everything going , the business , homelife etc but have found m...	Schnunkell	3	532	Feb 2, 2017 by luv123
	Feeling overwhelmed; In need of guidance plz. (Preview) I am not sure if this is the right place for me. I have several issues I am dealing with. I'd kind of like to find one place to find some advice. Before I begin, I am seeing someone for medication for behavioral issues but my therapist recently retired; the others in his office are not taking 'new clients'....	CristeenRivers	9	698	Feb 1, 2017 by CristeenRivers
	Step 12 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery link;http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t63186259/alanon-step-12-2-1-2017/	hotrod	0	405	Feb 1, 2017 by hotrod
	2/1/17 Hope for Today (Preview) It has been said that it is our best thinking that got us to AlAnon. In AlAnon we also hear that a power greater than ourselves can lead us back to sanity. Today's reading reminds us it is a gradual process, fueled by hope. Belief this is possible may begin by just seeing or hearing that others found peace d...	Enigmatic	4	559	Feb 1, 2017 by shrnp
	Overcoming Fear of Failure (Preview) I don't know if this is an al-anom related post but it's where my head is right now. As some of you know, I'm involved in a community outreach up here, it's something we took upon ourselves to do a few years back and it occupies a lot of our time. One of the main things we do is knit warm clothing for people les...	Wolfie55	8	688	Feb 1, 2017 by Iamhere
	Another text (Preview) Mom, What are you doing tonight? I haven't eaten in 2 days and I can't give plasma for money. Wondering if you have any food in your house. He is an hour away. I sent him links to shelters and soup kitchens. He proceeded to tell me he had no money for gas. I am so sad but know I need to let him experience his ow...	Tannersmom	11	778	Jan 31, 2017 by Jen61
	Hope for Today Jan 31 (Preview) Good morning Everyone: Today's reading is a focus on unity of purpose and how for the writer, the meaning of that phrase has changed over time. The writer states that when he/she first came to program unity of purpose meant it was possible to go to a roomful of people who accepted irrational thinking....	yanksfan51	4	454	Jan 31, 2017 by DavidG
	Alcoholic Parent dragging me in again (Preview) Well, first time here so bear with.... I'm 44, child of two alcoholics - turbulent, horrible, passive-aggressive, co-dependent marriage with lots of domestic violence. Ex self harmer, ex abusive marriage - usual ACOA stuff, I'm a bad person, I couldn't fix things, I deserve to be married to a dread...	Medhuil	4	504	Jan 31, 2017 by shrnp
	Just alcoholic or narcissist too (Preview) Hi everyone This is my first post on this site though I have been reading other people's posts for a while now and attending alanon meetings regularly for a few years. I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic for three and a half years now. He is a binge drinker, he was drinking a lot for the first cou...	Sorcha	14	2934	Jan 31, 2017 by shrnp
	The Serenity Prayer - long version (Preview) I have known the Serenity Prayer my entire life - a needlepoint of it hung above our kitchen table when I was growing up - but I just discovered there is a longer version! Just wanted to share it, for anyone else who did not know there is more than what we say in meetings.Serenity PrayerGod grant me the se...	oceanpine	4	5162	Jan 31, 2017 by El
	First meeting in a few years (Preview) Well, back to my first meeting after a few years. I remember that when I was going to meetings and reading the Al-Anon literature I could still love and detach. When I got away from the program, I was sinking very, very slowly until I had such anxiety and insomnia that could hardly be controlled. Also...	wifeofalcoholic	3	444	Jan 31, 2017 by Iamhere
	Back at it (Preview) I've been out and about. Just came back to recharge the batteries. I had momentarily forgotten my login info so I used a new one, but memory still serves me. Lots of new faces. Great to see that some of the old ones are still here. To the new members, give it time, whatever IT is. Trust your higher power. I le...	Wolfie55	7	606	Jan 31, 2017 by Maresie25
	Death in family - no support (Preview) I slept a couple of hours and now awake feeling so much anxiety by my AH relapse. I am going through a death in the family and it is so much more painful with my AH drinking, lying and not being emotionally available. If you have stayed in your relationship, what things do you do to cope and detach. I feel so r...	wifeofalcoholic	6	710	Jan 31, 2017 by Maresie25
	1-30-17 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (Preview) Regarding Step 1, today's reading notes that many of us found AlAnon after trying everything else so admitting our life was unmanageable might not have been a stretch. Fully accepting our powerlessness over alcohol, people and outcomes, however, is often much more challenging. Today's Reminder...	Enigmatic	5	471	Jan 30, 2017 by Enigmatic
	Realizing my husband has a problem and I need support (Preview) First post, I've just been reading until now. I found this board a few weeks ago and it feels like I'm reading about my own life, it has made me feel like I'm not alone and validated that my husband has a problem whether he admits to it or not. We've known each other for almost 20 years, been married 10. I did...	LoLo23	10	691	Jan 30, 2017 by Cammi45
	Positive Thoughts re John's Health (Preview) I've been reading some of the posts and I have to say I'm saddened to hear about John's health. My wife (Nancy aka PEI Lady) and I were just talking about that. We've been coming here on and aff for about 15 years and John is just someone you expect to see. Naturally, we thought he'd live forever. We always t...	Wolfie55	1	394	Jan 30, 2017 by hotrod
	Detox was just to much for my friend (Preview) This is my second post, I did not know if I should write this as part of the other one or not. My friend, ex-bf has wet brain and has suffered brain damage while going through detox. He has to go into a nursing home because his is not eating on his own. He was not strong enough, and he had been living off of vodka...	shrnp	9	647	Jan 30, 2017 by Wolfie55
	Dealing with families (Preview) I have been having a hard time accepting or dealing with with my qualifiers family. He has been able to talk to me after 14 days of being in the hospital. I had been talking to his sister, and she was not being too specific about his condition. She told me bits and pieces. He is doing better than expected, b...	shrnp	8	545	Jan 30, 2017 by Iamhere
	Feeling some sort of way (Preview) Since the death of my friend so suddenly and unexpectedly I have really really been leaning into my program. Lots of meetings, readings, and reflection. Its amazing how you can put things in perspective after a tragedy. Surprisingly Ive done a lot of growth. Ive gained some tolerance, I have...	Fooled	7	2883	Jan 30, 2017 by Iamhere
	Thoughts on using sarcasm (Preview) My partner and I are both very sarcastic people. But, with program work, i am seeing that sometimes I use it to cover up my real emotions or to make light of something that's bothering me or to maybe use it in unhealthy ways. I see my partner do the same at times. I''m wondering how to work this into my reco...	andromeda	10	2655	Jan 30, 2017 by Iamhere
	Relapses (Preview) I am brand new to al-anon. I have read some information online and have ordered the book and can't wait to read it. I have a question while I wait for it to come and would like some advice from people that have similar problems. My bf is currently in AA, and has had a few relapses. I am at a loss as what to do a...	NCJo	11	688	Jan 30, 2017 by Fooled
	He left with a roar... (Preview) My wife was talking with our sister in law...the wife of my brother so recently passed. My sister-in-law said that at the time he passed he was being attended by his eldest son and a son-in-law and the house was quiet with the exception of a loud rumble like as if a hot-rod (not you Betty) had quickly pa...	Jerry F	17	849	Jan 30, 2017 by Doingmybest
	I am at a loss (Preview) I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years, and about a year ago he decided he wanted to get sober. I was happy to see him want to make a change but it has been a rocky road for us. We recently decided to move into together in May. His drinking became a game and he was now trying to be sneaky and hide it fro...	arasrallim	8	698	Jan 30, 2017 by Fooled
	ODAT Reading for 1-29-2017 (Preview) ODA T reading for January 29 speaks about being obligated to help others because of our common humanity. The reading points out that we should not do for them what they can and should do for themselves. Mutual dependence is one of the comforts and rewards of marriage each partner must do his job and...	hotrod	7	568	Jan 30, 2017 by Wolfie55
	I had a relapse (Preview) and am now in the hang over stage. Do enablers and do-dependents relapse? Sure do and it sucks bad time. I went to my morning AA meeting and the subject was on and around Steps 4 thru 10 and I even shared my ESH on the subject or maybe just gave it away. After the meeting I came home with a stop at the gas s...	Jerry F	5	532	Jan 29, 2017 by Jerry F
	Johns Status.... ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Hi everyone. I am quite concerned re Johns status as he was unable to be present at the meeting he called for the future of this board. Is any One person able to make a connection with him, or his home? I Do believe this should be done. Also for to find out the access to keep this board up and running, and...	IAmStrong	44	2464	Jan 29, 2017 by wp
	Reading Material (Preview) Hey Everyone. As I mentioned earlier, I am new to the program. I love reading the message boards and want to read as much as I can to familiarize myself with the program. I ordered the book Courage to Change and I received it today. From what I have read thus far, I think it will be a great help. It just was...	NCJo	5	3260	Jan 29, 2017 by KennyFenderjazz
	Resentment... (Preview) I divorced an alcoholic two years ago. We have a small child together and since my ex was not happy about my decision to divorce, a custody battle ensued and it was a highly contentious divorce. I had hoped and prayed that over time, the relationship between my ex and I would get better but we have inste...	Vivian10	3	583	Jan 29, 2017 by Iamhere
	Mad at myself (Preview) I am so mad at mysel! I don't know how to set boundaries and enforce them. I told my AH that in order for him to live at our house he cannot drink. He became violent almost 3 months ago and went to jail and the court ordered him not to drink. That order was lifted a couple weeks ago and now he is back drinking afte...	Dlove	8	529	Jan 29, 2017 by Maresie25
	Courage To Change 28/1 (Preview) Todays c2c talks about how important it is to 'keep coming back"- even when we might no longer live with an alcoholic or be directly affected by another's alcoholism in our day to day lives. It points out that many people have been in the program for years and years and stay for the serenity they find and t...	MissM	2	413	Jan 28, 2017 by hotrod
	Love yourself - how do you know when you're doing it enough? (Preview) Okay, so one of the things I've really taken to hear is that you have to love yourself. That if you find the happiness inside your self, you stop looking for someone else to fill that need. That you stop loving others for the fantasy of them and for the real them. I have felt a major shift inside of me. I know I...	MomInMo	13	610	Jan 27, 2017 by el-cee
	SMH (Preview) As I mentioned a few days ago, daughter has a friend staying with us. (It's the last week of summer holidays). Last night we were to go to the waterfront for the Aus day celebrations and fireworks (bands, people, general revelry) and I was quite looking forward to it. I had in mind that I might make the eff...	MissM	3	519	Jan 27, 2017 by el-cee
	ODAT reading 1/27 (Preview) I hear a lot of compassion & not wollowing in self pity in this reading. Staying in today and not predicting this to be a forever thing I cannot deal with. In it I hear about caring without being a crutch. That takes practice and listening to how others have walked this path. "I love you but..." were 4 w...	luv123	1	378	Jan 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 1/27/17 (Preview) Today's daily reading talks about the mental and emotional impact the disease has on us - the family and friends of the alcoholic. We tend to over react or react in moments that are not always the cause of our frustration, sadness, etc. The example given talks about a partner who is frustrated enough...	Iamhere	3	681	Jan 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	Frustration (Preview) I am frustrated with (not my AS) but my EX Hub. I know I can't change his behavior or his choices but it is killing me because I know his so called badgering to my AS is pushing my son further away. My ex continues to text my son with guilt ridden messages. He is just as manipulating as my AS. He just doesn'...	Tannersmom	3	642	Jan 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	Bi-Sexuality and Alcoholism (Preview) Hello Everyone, I've been off the grid for awhile. Trying to sort out the "drama" in my life. My Ex-ABF has told me (to my face) that he doesn't want to quit drinking and he likes the buzz. He sees nothing wrong with having a "sip" every once in awhile. Well that sip turns into a binge. He can't control...	starcatcher2	12	588	Jan 27, 2017 by starcatcher2
	When they wake up after drinking... (Preview) Since I just found this board I'm not sure if this is something I will learn in meetings, etc. but still wanted to ask from personal experience. I don't know how to act after my husband wakes up from one of his drinking spouts. Sometimes he's slept it off but other times is still feeling the effects. I feel...	LoLo23	1	468	Jan 26, 2017 by a4l
	Courage to Change (C2C) 1/26/17 (Preview) Today's reading from Courage to Change talks about the 12th Step - Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principals in all our affairs...What a promise - if we work these steps, we can have a spiritual awakening - hope...	Iamhere	3	407	Jan 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	Step 3 Anxiety (Preview) So, I tried doing step three. I mean, I answered the questions from the beige book on the topic. Well, my answers didn't confirm my resolve, they just exposed my confusion. :) So, I've been trying to figure it all out. I had a friend help me kind of get a better hold on what I'd be willing to pray to. So, las...	MomInMo	7	1328	Jan 26, 2017 by maryjane
	New, not sure where to start (Preview) Hello everyone, At the present time I have a friend or ex-bf, in the hospital who is very sick. I thought he was just going for detox as usual but he has hepatitis B, and has been in the ICU for 5-6 days. We have been broken up for about three years. We stay in touch sometimes, we have the same friends, and I h...	shrnp	15	772	Jan 25, 2017 by Iamhere
	1/25/17 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (Preview) AlAnon encourages us to keep the focus on the positive rather than the negative. Today's page points to the value of doing this when rooting out unwanted behavior. Rather than avoidance through willpower, we focus energy and effort on the positive replacement behavior. Today's Reminder: Whateve...	Enigmatic	4	428	Jan 25, 2017 by MissM
	Hope for Today Jan 24 (Preview) Good Morning Everyone: Today's reading focuses on our Serenity-- how we work toward it and maintain it through working the program; how we give it away when reacting to alcoholic behavior. The writer states that some of the ways we practice the principles of the program to maintain serenity includ...	yanksfan51	6	466	Jan 25, 2017 by Iamhere
	I need detox (Preview) I am new to this group and only went to a few face to face meetings about a year ago. I have a very dear friend who is really struggling with alcoholism. I have known him for almost 20 years and only in the last 5 or less did I even know he had a problem...and then I just thought he just would drink when he was sa...	kkc	3	456	Jan 25, 2017 by Maresie25
	Coy About Attending Local AlAnon Meeting (Preview) Hi folks, I have a question - or maybe a problem. I guess I know the answer in principle, but maybe I need to hear it from some wiser heads. My encounter with alcoholism was relatively brief and low amplitude (by which I mean that there was no physical violence or infidelity etc, mainly lying and manipul...	messmate	7	567	Jan 25, 2017 by Maresie25
	Love Stories (Preview) I would like to hear some positive post recovery love stories.	tealfighter	10	1281	Jan 25, 2017 by Maresie25
	Long Distance Alcoholic (Preview) I was dating a man who is an alcoholic. He had blackouts and left for two weeks to go to an old girlfriends. After he returned home he has been calling me constantly and is saying he is attending AA. But I know he has bee drinking and is denying it. Yesterday was the last straw. I told him he was a drunke...	Dell22	7	457	Jan 25, 2017 by Dell22
	So he texted me (Preview) So my AS texted me last night. I really haven't heard much from him. It was a very cordial exchange. He told me he had a job interview today. Supposedly he and his girlfriend have been out and about looking for jobs. Good for them. I was able to tell him good luck and that I am confident that he will be able to f...	Tannersmom	4	2479	Jan 24, 2017 by _bunny_
	Confused (Preview) Hello! So I know the holidays are rough on most people so I wanted to say Happy Holidays from me. :) Anyway, so I'm rather new here. Long story short someone close in my family (father) has been an alcoholic my whole life. I've never seen him sober even though I've lived with him for my whole life. Being in m...	Worldofhope	8	488	Jan 24, 2017 by Worldofhope
	Indecision (Preview) My husband was ACOA, if you didnt know him you would have thought he was a drinker. But he never touched a drop or drugs or anything like that. But he had the same exact symptoms of a full blown alcoholic. I was married for many years but after realizing me and my children were always walking on eggs, I divor...	LinSC	9	693	Jan 24, 2017 by pinkchip
	Life on Life's terms (Preview) Im sitting here the morning after my best friend, maid of honor in my wedding, passed away suddenly of a massive heart attack. She was only 52. Life was never kind to her. She struggled her whole life. She married young to an alcoholic and had four kids. She stayed and did the best she could for 13...	Fooled	7	693	Jan 24, 2017 by tiredtonite
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.