Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

John · John

https://youtu.be/SLwM-ujWtoc Jjohn

_bunny_ · _bunny_

For me, prayer is humbly asking my HP to guide me through my day. I willingly hand my whole day over because I have confidence my HP will answer all my prayers and has an amazing journey planned for me. My prayers are answered when I'm peaceful and serene, when my self will/ego is quiet and when I'm in the pr...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading compares alcoholism to a tornado - not only do we have to watch out for the wind, we also have to watch for what the wind may pick up and throw our direction. Alcoholism often brings along additional issues such as verbal, physical, sexual abuse, illness, debt, prison, infidelity and...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about how our vision can be limited, and we can become focused on outcomes only we see. It's easy for us to forget that a Higher Power is not restricted to our logic, and many wondrous events grow out of what appear to be disasters. Faith is a marvelous gift!! Faith does take pract...

SaraLin · SaraLin

I broke up with alcoholic boyfriend this morning. He's been treating me really badly lately & constantly lying about drinking. I told him last night that eventually he will need to choose between getting himself help and having me in his life. He cracked open a beer at 7.30am this morning and I jus...

RL17 · RL17

Thank you to all who make this forum board what it is. I've found the step board, and am starting to work through Step 1. I've printed out the step and all the questions, and am reading through the replies. Woke up stressed after a nightmare about AH this morning, and found comfort in the board. This i...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

Excuse me if I ramble. I just can't get my thoughts in order. I hadn't heard from my son in weeks. I was starting to get a bit unnerved. Last we had talked he was having BP and HR problems and I was worried. My ex and I decided to send an email telling him he had to call (not text) us by noon the next day or we w...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page asks us to think about approaching our AlAnon recovery program as we would if we were learning a new language... because in fact we are. Most don't get to the point of fluently speaking another language casually. Immersion is often recommended, where we surround ourselves with those w...

RL17 · RL17

My husband is away at rehab, and will be coming home in a week. He's doing amazing, and is so positive and determined. I guess I just need to hear some positive stories from people who have had things work out, and the husband stayed sober, and things got better. So far, I'm terrified from stories I've...

kari · kari

Teens substance abuse has made fme feel socially uneasy. I didn't grow up with this and it feel bad.

KT2015 · KT2015

Hi Everyone, I wanted to drop by and wish everyone a very happy valentine's day. I haven't been around the board much but I have been working my program a lot with my sponsor. I have been working step four and it's been difficult to do that so I'm taking it slowly. This valentine's day helped me reflect...

hotrod · hotrod

HI Everyone Mary Posted this message to the Business section of the Alanon Forum. I transferred it Hope for Today Feb 14Permalink Reply Quote More Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the importance of listening, and the value of being heard. The strength in our meetings often is f...

thekentuckygent · thekentuckygent

ABF is not responding well to my detaching and not engaging any longer in arguments. This morning he left to drive home (1 1/2 hours away), and said that I was about to learn what real pain felt like because he was never going to speak to me again. I know this is the disease talking, and while every fiber i...

thekentuckygent · thekentuckygent

Happy Valentines Day all! ABF (currently not going to meetings and trying the whole few drinks here and there because he has "control" thing) asked if I wanted him to pick up a bottle of champagne on the way to celebrate with. I told him no, that I wouldn't tell him what to do in regards to his drinking but I...

tealfighter · tealfighter

I want to start with all the positive. I am getting ready to attend my second meeting this Tuesday. I have read half of the book How Al-Anon works waiting for my Courage to Change to come in the mail. I am defiantly making some progress. For that I have much hope and joy. I also got a journal to begin to write i...

Michelle26 · Michelle26

Hi everyone. I'm a newbie to Al Anon. This is my first dealings with it. My husband is currently in rehab. Just 4 days now. He did make this decision on his own. I honestly don't know exactly how long his program will last for him and nor does he at this time. We've only just spoken yesterday. I fou...

El · El

Hello and happy Saturday to all! I have some progress to report for myself....and I guess it boils down to the word acceptance. I accept that the only thing that can change AH is AH and his higher power. AH was recently diagnosed with yet another health issue related to alcohol. After the doctor visi...

Supportseek3 · Supportseek3

I am looking for support groups that deal with loved ones with addiction. I am trying to be more informed.

lookingup · lookingup

Still wanting,trying to decide on moving from my home here which I'm renting, great landlord,all my maintenance is done when I need it .lived here 14 yrs,finished raising my son here now he married him n his wife moved to another town an 45 min. Drive from me. ive put a lot of work into this house over the y...

madowl86 · madowl86

So sad and depressed tonight after learning my ABF (ex ABF?) is talking to another girl. At this point I'm pretty certain he's playing both sides of the fence and the girl won't talk to me. I am going crazy over not seeing the messages he has sent to her. I returned all his belongings but am having a VERY har...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Been sorting and packing for another move to my boyfriend,s house. Came across some notes to myself just 1 yr into my relationship with my XAH. How could i be so stupid. I saw the red flags then and should have heeded them but i didnt. I went ahead and stayed with the guy and endured 25 yrs of misery before i...

Godsdaughter · Godsdaughter

Hi I am new here and I am planning on attending my first Al-Anon meeting this weekend. I am really nervous as I do not know what to really expect. My AH has been physically abusive 3 times in the last 7 years while drunk. My problem is he is trying to win me back and I gave him two choices to move out in 30 days or g...

Godsdaughter · Godsdaughter

I have posted before in regards to attending my 1st meeting...now i attempted to go last night but it was cancelled. The next one by me is this Sunday. I already knew in my head that my AH would have a fit cause Sundays we have a routine of church then laundry and home. Well the time i would need to attend a mee...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

AlAnon encourages us to consider our role in the unpleasantness at home...and it would be a very rare case that the alcoholic was responsible for it all in its entirety. Today's page acknowledges that it is a difficult, but entirely necessary part of our recovery. A look at our motives behind what we s...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for February 12 asks the question what happens when the ideas that we receive at an Al-Anon meeting seem to roll off our consciousness and asks why are we not demonstrate these ideas in or every day actions? Why cant we absorb them and make them work for us.? The reading suggests t...

lookingup · lookingup

Another beautiful sun shiny day ,birds singing outside my window, i picked yellow buttercups out of my yard put in vase on my table. my hp is great,he knows me and my needs. im very grateful for hp and this 70 and 80 degree weather. in the middle of winter.i know this aint right,strange ,weird weather.l...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

Hi Everyone, I have been in recovery for over 10 years. In the past 7 months I have gone through a true "dark night of the Soul" and I am working with a jungian who says that it sometimes happens on the Spiritual path. There is a lot about it on You Tube but I would really like to connect with others who have g...

Munch · Munch

Why do alcoholics isolate themselves? AND the people they claim to love, and care about? When he moved upstairs into our vacant apartment, his reason was that he just needed his own space for awhile...to do his own thing. As near as I can tell, his 'own thing' is watching TV and drinking. Just like he...

Aerin · Aerin

"My power comes in giving MYSELF what I need. No longer looking to others, outside of myself to get my sense of security. I cannot trust the alcoholics in my life. ï¿½However, I CAN TRUST MYSELF... the guide within me always.... I can listen to.... I can trust... and I can nurture that guide. ï¿½Al-an...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading in Courage to Change discusses how we can and should use creativity to celebrate who we are and what we feel. One of the effects of the disease is many of us have denied or devalued our talents, feelings, achievements and desires. We learn in recovery to know, appreciate and express o...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

I finally texted my AS yesterday, told him that if he didn't call me (not text) by noon today that I was going to call in for a well check. He called me at 5:30 this morning. He was very angry at first telling me that if the cops came it would mess up this living situation. Hmmm, what does that mean? Oh that m...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I choose to write this due to seeing a few exasperated new members here asking themselves this question. The reasons I am about to list are an accumulation of things I've heard in alanon over the years, stuff I've seen from working in treatment/rehab, and my own experience of having had a long relation...

LinSC · LinSC

1. So what is this blame thing about, the alcoholic/addict always wants to blame everyone else for their sorrows? 2. And what should be our response to this verbally and otherwise? I was married to a dry alcoholic and he was always blaming everyone else for his situation, he blamed the government, t...

MissM · MissM

Today's C2C discusses tradition 5 which helps us set 3 goals- to work the steps, to have compassion for those suffering from alcoholism and to have compassion for others in the al-anon program. It points out how much love is involved in these goals/actions- working the steps is a huge act of love for ou...

a4l · a4l

So im trying to find the courage to call a womens shelter and it's not coming. I can't face the idea of carting three kids to a sharehouse and being in limbo. But this house is hell on earth. I just can't take the mental and emotional abuse anymore: physically I know i can take care of myself and my kids. No fe...

Joxci · Joxci

Hi all, I'm having a hard time deciding if I'm being supportive of my boyfriend or enabling him to lie to me. The abbreviated version is he lied to me about something stupid, then lied about why he lied. Now I'm agonizing over the decision to go visit him on Sunday, since he only gets one visitation day per...

kzoomom79 · kzoomom79

So my AH has stopped drinking for 17 days. He did this on his own. He does not think he needs help with it. He says if he wanted a beer he would go drink one. He also told me a week or so ago that he was going to have a drink on his birthday (Feb. 9). I almost feel like he thinks he is rewarding himself for not dri...

lizbots1 · lizbots1

my husband just came out of rehab , we are trying to be together he showed me the aa book i found the sections for the family and the wife , i read it , while in rehab he made several new friends one a woman, I'm finding it hard to cope with this friendship , why ? i know i need to worry about me I'm not able to contr...

a4l · a4l

I don't know if it's human, alanonic or aa but i hate being controlled. made it to an aa meeting last night, it was so good. Came home to sleeping household even better. Climbed into bed, put on a movie, fell asleep feeling like an individual human being and fell asleep. Then this morning the snarky ah who...

Dlove · Dlove

My AH is a DJ at a local bar and because he can't be trusted not to drink and drive and he's already wrecked his own car this past summer drinking and driving I drive him to work. He knows I HATE him working in a bar but somehow he's guilted me into taking him. Anyway, one night in November I picked him up from wo...

Iamhere · Iamhere

My apologies in advance - I had 2 little people spend the night and got distracted this morning! My son borrowed my car for school today and my literature is there. I will post a daily in a couple hours for today unless anyone desires to do so! Feel free - otherwise....better late than never! (((Hugs))...

hotrod · hotrod

As you are aware ,John the founder of MIP is ill and upon his request , a transition team has been established to maintain the site and carry on John's vision. Tanin (from the AA Board) has been elected to replace John as the web site administrator. So as to maintain the integrity of a the alanon messag...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

Hi Everyone my father died 2 weeks ago at the age of 86 from liver disease. He was an alcoholic of course. We had a very difficult relationship and I have worked on it for many years as I am in my 50s now. I have prayed to forgive him and worked the steps. At the end I tried to call him and he said something...

ozziekat · ozziekat

Hi all, I am very hopeful of finding help with letting go..perhaps totally of my three adult children. I do not have healthy relationships with any of them and after a year of attending my local Al anon meetings I can see that the only one I have any hope of changing..with the help of my patient Higher Powe...

Pamelove · Pamelove

I'm new and looking for Al-anon meetings, and the brochure, I keep seeing AFG. I know what it stands for, but I don't know what it is? Difference between al-anon and AFG? I'm also looking for ACA meetings. I can't get a return phone call or a return e-mail response. Thank you

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

Well, my gut got to me yesterday. We haven't heard from our AS since he wanted us to come get him last week. Apparently he changed his mind because after about 45 min he texted his dad "never-mind". So that is when my mind started to swirl with visions. I know he is living is a very dire situation. I don...

WestMan · WestMan

Hi I'm new here. Hoping someone may have some words of wisdom for me. I'm late 30's, married 13 years, with three young children. The marriage has been tough the last couple years for various reasons. My wife has mentioned a couple times that she thinks she may be an alcoholic. I didn't take her seriousl...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

My AH has been "dry" about a year but I have wondered if he might be hiding his drinking from me. He also continues to smoke pot, hides it from me, and gets very defensive if asked about his use. Just writing that out sounds extremely unhealthy, but there's more. He's become very hot and cold. One moment...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about our slogan - Keep it Simple. The writer suggests that nothing was simple about life before recovery. Difficult job, short on time and obsessing about the qualifier left little time/energy for 'other'... The early days of Al-Anon lifted the denial, and then the writer rea...

SaraLin · SaraLin

I haven't posted in quite a while. My alcoholic boyfriend broke up with me for around 3 weeks last year (after I asked him to get some help for his drinking) but we got back together after that and things were pretty good for a while. I can tell he's drinking more at the moment though & his behaviou...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Things have really piled up on me the past month. My rent was increased, my payment plan for one of my credit cards has expired.Im still unemployed and on unemployment and food aid. I realized that i couldnt hack the rent even if disability came through. since i ran out of choices..im going to be moving i...

Aline · Aline

I'm new to Al-anon and in recent days I've experienced something that I would call a relapse in my recovery. About a week ago I was Happy - despite outside circumstances - quite serene, feeling for the first time in a very long while spiritually quite healthy, and I still do feel that my life, my attitude...

el-cee · el-cee

I have been reading a bit on this and I don't have it all the time. I think it means maturity, not becoming anxious when I don't get my own way. When people, places and things aren't doing what I want, when things are not going my way its about accepting things just as they are, not fighting the reality, tryi...

tealfighter · tealfighter

I dont say these words lightly. I truely have lost all hope. Today my recovering told me he had never had romantic feelings for me. I am utterly devistated. other areas of my life are such a mess. I was hoping he was the one good thing in my life. How the hell can you spend 2.5 years with someone tallkimg abou...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading notes the surprise that meets many of us newcomers when we find smiling, cheerful members at our face to face meetings. How is this possible with the dreadful effects of living with the disease? We find out by attending meetings regularly, reading, and listening to the Experience, S...

Groo · Groo

(Explanation) AH who was main bread winner finally drank his way out of a job. I work a few days a week and part time. He has driven us into debt with all of his medical bills, therapy, inpatient treatment and of course alcohol consumption. Like the rest of you I have lived through tirades, drama, and m...

Mat · Mat

Hey Everyone! I am new to the group so please bare with me. I will go ahead and say I'm not a good writer and have awful spelling/grammer. LOL! I do however have a sense of humor(dry). I am dating a man(for 2 years), when we met he had moved in with his PaPaw(grandfather) to take care of him because he i...

churchlady62 · churchlady62

My daughter has so much resentment she is not going to heal and I am losing hope of every having a good relationship with her. SHe is drinking occasionally but otherwise white-knuckling it and not going to meetings and thus she is overcome with resentment and self pity and last night I dug a hole for mys...

madowl86 · madowl86

My ABF has been controlling his drinking for the last few months. He's done well drinking in moderation, even though I suspected for a while he may be doing other things to chase the high. Now suddenly, he says he needs time apart from me because he knows he can do it with me, but he needs to see if he can do...

madowl86 · madowl86

Has anyone had the issue of..."I snooped and now I know condemning things about my A." I listen to him lie and lie and lie and the whole time I'm sittting here with questions that I can't ask. I strongly feel like if I brought up what I know he would become very angry. and I'm always afraid to make him upset....

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Video I made about 7-8 yrs ago. (Preview) https://youtu.be/SLwM-ujWtoc Jjohn	John	9	726	Feb 18, 2017 by lookingup
	Prayers and answers (Preview) For me, prayer is humbly asking my HP to guide me through my day. I willingly hand my whole day over because I have confidence my HP will answer all my prayers and has an amazing journey planned for me. My prayers are answered when I'm peaceful and serene, when my self will/ego is quiet and when I'm in the pr...	_bunny_	3	532	Feb 18, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/16/17 (Preview) Today's reading compares alcoholism to a tornado - not only do we have to watch out for the wind, we also have to watch for what the wind may pick up and throw our direction. Alcoholism often brings along additional issues such as verbal, physical, sexual abuse, illness, debt, prison, infidelity and...	Iamhere	4	752	Feb 17, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/17/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about how our vision can be limited, and we can become focused on outcomes only we see. It's easy for us to forget that a Higher Power is not restricted to our logic, and many wondrous events grow out of what appear to be disasters. Faith is a marvelous gift!! Faith does take pract...	Iamhere	1	439	Feb 17, 2017 by hotrod
	I've ended it (Preview) I broke up with alcoholic boyfriend this morning. He's been treating me really badly lately & constantly lying about drinking. I told him last night that eventually he will need to choose between getting himself help and having me in his life. He cracked open a beer at 7.30am this morning and I jus...	SaraLin	2	489	Feb 17, 2017 by Iamhere
	Just want to say THANK YOU!! (Preview) Thank you to all who make this forum board what it is. I've found the step board, and am starting to work through Step 1. I've printed out the step and all the questions, and am reading through the replies. Woke up stressed after a nightmare about AH this morning, and found comfort in the board. This i...	RL17	5	492	Feb 17, 2017 by Suburban Denizen
	A night out (Preview) Excuse me if I ramble. I just can't get my thoughts in order. I hadn't heard from my son in weeks. I was starting to get a bit unnerved. Last we had talked he was having BP and HR problems and I was worried. My ex and I decided to send an email telling him he had to call (not text) us by noon the next day or we w...	Tannersmom	3	514	Feb 16, 2017 by El
	2/15/17 Courage to Change (Preview) Today's page asks us to think about approaching our AlAnon recovery program as we would if we were learning a new language... because in fact we are. Most don't get to the point of fluently speaking another language casually. Immersion is often recommended, where we surround ourselves with those w...	Enigmatic	6	546	Feb 16, 2017 by Iamhere
	Needing positive stories (Preview) My husband is away at rehab, and will be coming home in a week. He's doing amazing, and is so positive and determined. I guess I just need to hear some positive stories from people who have had things work out, and the husband stayed sober, and things got better. So far, I'm terrified from stories I've...	RL17	14	2034	Feb 15, 2017 by RL17
	Teens Substance use and abuse (Preview) Teens substance abuse has made fme feel socially uneasy. I didn't grow up with this and it feel bad.	kari	3	1997	Feb 14, 2017 by kari
	Happy Valentine's Day (Preview) Hi Everyone, I wanted to drop by and wish everyone a very happy valentine's day. I haven't been around the board much but I have been working my program a lot with my sponsor. I have been working step four and it's been difficult to do that so I'm taking it slowly. This valentine's day helped me reflect...	KT2015	6	538	Feb 14, 2017 by lookingup
	HOPE For Today 2-14 (Preview) HI Everyone Mary Posted this message to the Business section of the Alanon Forum. I transferred it Hope for Today Feb 14Permalink Reply Quote More Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the importance of listening, and the value of being heard. The strength in our meetings often is f...	hotrod	4	448	Feb 14, 2017 by DavidG
	To Reach Out or Not, That is The Question (Preview) ABF is not responding well to my detaching and not engaging any longer in arguments. This morning he left to drive home (1 1/2 hours away), and said that I was about to learn what real pain felt like because he was never going to speak to me again. I know this is the disease talking, and while every fiber i...	thekentuckygent	5	518	Feb 14, 2017 by kaotob
	ABF Asked Me to Drink With Him (Preview) Happy Valentines Day all! ABF (currently not going to meetings and trying the whole few drinks here and there because he has "control" thing) asked if I wanted him to pick up a bottle of champagne on the way to celebrate with. I told him no, that I wouldn't tell him what to do in regards to his drinking but I...	thekentuckygent	3	504	Feb 14, 2017 by Iamhere
	Emotional Abuse (Preview) I want to start with all the positive. I am getting ready to attend my second meeting this Tuesday. I have read half of the book How Al-Anon works waiting for my Courage to Change to come in the mail. I am defiantly making some progress. For that I have much hope and joy. I also got a journal to begin to write i...	tealfighter	6	624	Feb 14, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Husband coming home from rehab soon and I'm new to Al Anon (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm a newbie to Al Anon. This is my first dealings with it. My husband is currently in rehab. Just 4 days now. He did make this decision on his own. I honestly don't know exactly how long his program will last for him and nor does he at this time. We've only just spoken yesterday. I fou...	Michelle26	5	575	Feb 14, 2017 by Jazzie18
	Acceptance (Preview) Hello and happy Saturday to all! I have some progress to report for myself....and I guess it boils down to the word acceptance. I accept that the only thing that can change AH is AH and his higher power. AH was recently diagnosed with yet another health issue related to alcohol. After the doctor visi...	El	4	475	Feb 14, 2017 by KT2015
	Seeking support (Preview) I am looking for support groups that deal with loved ones with addiction. I am trying to be more informed.	Supportseek3	2	419	Feb 14, 2017 by Iamhere
	Options and choices,ugh (Preview) Still wanting,trying to decide on moving from my home here which I'm renting, great landlord,all my maintenance is done when I need it .lived here 14 yrs,finished raising my son here now he married him n his wife moved to another town an 45 min. Drive from me. ive put a lot of work into this house over the y...	lookingup	7	552	Feb 13, 2017 by lookingup
	Found out ABF talking to someone else (Preview) So sad and depressed tonight after learning my ABF (ex ABF?) is talking to another girl. At this point I'm pretty certain he's playing both sides of the fence and the girl won't talk to me. I am going crazy over not seeing the messages he has sent to her. I returned all his belongings but am having a VERY har...	madowl86	5	468	Feb 13, 2017 by LinSC
	regrets, ive had a few (Preview) Been sorting and packing for another move to my boyfriend,s house. Came across some notes to myself just 1 yr into my relationship with my XAH. How could i be so stupid. I saw the red flags then and should have heeded them but i didnt. I went ahead and stayed with the guy and endured 25 yrs of misery before i...	YARNCRAZY	4	528	Feb 13, 2017 by hotrod
	Nervous-1st Time at Al-Anon meeting coming up! (Preview) Hi I am new here and I am planning on attending my first Al-Anon meeting this weekend. I am really nervous as I do not know what to really expect. My AH has been physically abusive 3 times in the last 7 years while drunk. My problem is he is trying to win me back and I gave him two choices to move out in 30 days or g...	Godsdaughter	30	672	Feb 13, 2017 by Iamhere
	AH not accepting Change... (Preview) I have posted before in regards to attending my 1st meeting...now i attempted to go last night but it was cancelled. The next one by me is this Sunday. I already knew in my head that my AH would have a fit cause Sundays we have a routine of church then laundry and home. Well the time i would need to attend a mee...	Godsdaughter	2	438	Feb 13, 2017 by Jerry F
	One Day at a Time in AlAnon (ODAT) 2/13/17 (Preview) AlAnon encourages us to consider our role in the unpleasantness at home...and it would be a very rare case that the alcoholic was responsible for it all in its entirety. Today's page acknowledges that it is a difficult, but entirely necessary part of our recovery. A look at our motives behind what we s...	Enigmatic	4	465	Feb 13, 2017 by tiredtonite
	ODAT Reading 2-12-2017 (Preview) The ODA T reading for February 12 asks the question what happens when the ideas that we receive at an Al-Anon meeting seem to roll off our consciousness and asks why are we not demonstrate these ideas in or every day actions? Why cant we absorb them and make them work for us.? The reading suggests t...	hotrod	2	451	Feb 12, 2017 by Iamhere
	Grateful (Preview) Another beautiful sun shiny day ,birds singing outside my window, i picked yellow buttercups out of my yard put in vase on my table. my hp is great,he knows me and my needs. im very grateful for hp and this 70 and 80 degree weather. in the middle of winter.i know this aint right,strange ,weird weather.l...	lookingup	6	482	Feb 12, 2017 by Iamhere
	Has Anyone Been Through a True Dark Night of Soul in Recovery? (Preview) Hi Everyone, I have been in recovery for over 10 years. In the past 7 months I have gone through a true "dark night of the Soul" and I am working with a jungian who says that it sometimes happens on the Spiritual path. There is a lot about it on You Tube but I would really like to connect with others who have g...	Charlotte22	2	506	Feb 12, 2017 by Jerry F
	Isolation (Preview) Why do alcoholics isolate themselves? AND the people they claim to love, and care about? When he moved upstairs into our vacant apartment, his reason was that he just needed his own space for awhile...to do his own thing. As near as I can tell, his 'own thing' is watching TV and drinking. Just like he...	Munch	3	631	Feb 11, 2017 by Jerry F
	Proud of Me but Still Unsure (Preview) "My power comes in giving MYSELF what I need. No longer looking to others, outside of myself to get my sense of security. I cannot trust the alcoholics in my life. ï¿½However, I CAN TRUST MYSELF... the guide within me always.... I can listen to.... I can trust... and I can nurture that guide. ï¿½Al-an...	Aerin	3	498	Feb 11, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/10/17 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change discusses how we can and should use creativity to celebrate who we are and what we feel. One of the effects of the disease is many of us have denied or devalued our talents, feelings, achievements and desires. We learn in recovery to know, appreciate and express o...	Iamhere	3	480	Feb 11, 2017 by Iamhere
	I did what I did for me and hopefully him update (Preview) I finally texted my AS yesterday, told him that if he didn't call me (not text) by noon today that I was going to call in for a well check. He called me at 5:30 this morning. He was very angry at first telling me that if the cops came it would mess up this living situation. Hmmm, what does that mean? Oh that m...	Tannersmom	3	470	Feb 11, 2017 by Iamhere
	Why stay in a relationship with an alcoholic? ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I choose to write this due to seeing a few exasperated new members here asking themselves this question. The reasons I am about to list are an accumulation of things I've heard in alanon over the years, stuff I've seen from working in treatment/rehab, and my own experience of having had a long relation...	pinkchip	43	2625	Feb 11, 2017 by pinkchip
	The Blame Thing (Preview) 1. So what is this blame thing about, the alcoholic/addict always wants to blame everyone else for their sorrows? 2. And what should be our response to this verbally and otherwise? I was married to a dry alcoholic and he was always blaming everyone else for his situation, he blamed the government, t...	LinSC	10	955	Feb 11, 2017 by pinkchip
	Courage to Change 11/2 (Preview) Today's C2C discusses tradition 5 which helps us set 3 goals- to work the steps, to have compassion for those suffering from alcoholism and to have compassion for others in the al-anon program. It points out how much love is involved in these goals/actions- working the steps is a huge act of love for ou...	MissM	2	485	Feb 11, 2017 by hotrod
	stuck in limbo. (Preview) So im trying to find the courage to call a womens shelter and it's not coming. I can't face the idea of carting three kids to a sharehouse and being in limbo. But this house is hell on earth. I just can't take the mental and emotional abuse anymore: physically I know i can take care of myself and my kids. No fe...	a4l	4	606	Feb 11, 2017 by lookingup
	Enabling or Supporting? enabling supporting alcoholic boyfriend (Preview) Hi all, I'm having a hard time deciding if I'm being supportive of my boyfriend or enabling him to lie to me. The abbreviated version is he lied to me about something stupid, then lied about why he lied. Now I'm agonizing over the decision to go visit him on Sunday, since he only gets one visitation day per...	Joxci	2	6515	Feb 10, 2017 by Joxci
	Why the sudden change of behavior? Will it last?? (Preview) So my AH has stopped drinking for 17 days. He did this on his own. He does not think he needs help with it. He says if he wanted a beer he would go drink one. He also told me a week or so ago that he was going to have a drink on his birthday (Feb. 9). I almost feel like he thinks he is rewarding himself for not dri...	kzoomom79	7	613	Feb 10, 2017 by Aerin
	the subject of jealousy (Preview) my husband just came out of rehab , we are trying to be together he showed me the aa book i found the sections for the family and the wife , i read it , while in rehab he made several new friends one a woman, I'm finding it hard to cope with this friendship , why ? i know i need to worry about me I'm not able to contr...	lizbots1	3	500	Feb 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	rebellion (Preview) I don't know if it's human, alanonic or aa but i hate being controlled. made it to an aa meeting last night, it was so good. Came home to sleeping household even better. Climbed into bed, put on a movie, fell asleep feeling like an individual human being and fell asleep. Then this morning the snarky ah who...	a4l	7	545	Feb 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	Vicious Cycle (Preview) My AH is a DJ at a local bar and because he can't be trusted not to drink and drive and he's already wrecked his own car this past summer drinking and driving I drive him to work. He knows I HATE him working in a bar but somehow he's guilted me into taking him. Anyway, one night in November I picked him up from wo...	Dlove	6	871	Feb 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	Daily to Follow (Preview) My apologies in advance - I had 2 little people spend the night and got distracted this morning! My son borrowed my car for school today and my literature is there. I will post a daily in a couple hours for today unless anyone desires to do so! Feel free - otherwise....better late than never! (((Hugs))...	Iamhere	0	318	Feb 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	General Announcement (Preview) As you are aware ,John the founder of MIP is ill and upon his request , a transition team has been established to maintain the site and carry on John's vision. Tanin (from the AA Board) has been elected to replace John as the web site administrator. So as to maintain the integrity of a the alanon messag...	hotrod	7	509	Feb 10, 2017 by Jen61
	Grieving my Father and Qualifier (Preview) Hi Everyone my father died 2 weeks ago at the age of 86 from liver disease. He was an alcoholic of course. We had a very difficult relationship and I have worked on it for many years as I am in my 50s now. I have prayed to forgive him and worked the steps. At the end I tried to call him and he said something...	Charlotte22	4	450	Feb 10, 2017 by Charlotte22
	Family..friends or foes? (Preview) Hi all, I am very hopeful of finding help with letting go..perhaps totally of my three adult children. I do not have healthy relationships with any of them and after a year of attending my local Al anon meetings I can see that the only one I have any hope of changing..with the help of my patient Higher Powe...	ozziekat	4	566	Feb 9, 2017 by Stan1
	AFG (Preview) I'm new and looking for Al-anon meetings, and the brochure, I keep seeing AFG. I know what it stands for, but I don't know what it is? Difference between al-anon and AFG? I'm also looking for ACA meetings. I can't get a return phone call or a return e-mail response. Thank you	Pamelove	3	464	Feb 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	I did what I did for me and hopefully him (Preview) Well, my gut got to me yesterday. We haven't heard from our AS since he wanted us to come get him last week. Apparently he changed his mind because after about 45 min he texted his dad "never-mind". So that is when my mind started to swirl with visions. I know he is living is a very dire situation. I don...	Tannersmom	4	500	Feb 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	Wife has quit drinking, in AA and I'm...angry? (Preview) Hi I'm new here. Hoping someone may have some words of wisdom for me. I'm late 30's, married 13 years, with three young children. The marriage has been tough the last couple years for various reasons. My wife has mentioned a couple times that she thinks she may be an alcoholic. I didn't take her seriousl...	WestMan	20	881	Feb 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	Emotional abuse (Preview) My AH has been "dry" about a year but I have wondered if he might be hiding his drinking from me. He also continues to smoke pot, hides it from me, and gets very defensive if asked about his use. Just writing that out sounds extremely unhealthy, but there's more. He's become very hot and cold. One moment...	Taraxacum	4	421	Feb 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/9/17 (Preview) Today's reading is about our slogan - Keep it Simple. The writer suggests that nothing was simple about life before recovery. Difficult job, short on time and obsessing about the qualifier left little time/energy for 'other'... The early days of Al-Anon lifted the denial, and then the writer rea...	Iamhere	4	605	Feb 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	Alcoholic boyfriend still lying (Preview) I haven't posted in quite a while. My alcoholic boyfriend broke up with me for around 3 weeks last year (after I asked him to get some help for his drinking) but we got back together after that and things were pretty good for a while. I can tell he's drinking more at the moment though & his behaviou...	SaraLin	5	427	Feb 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	not the road i planned on (Preview) Things have really piled up on me the past month. My rent was increased, my payment plan for one of my credit cards has expired.Im still unemployed and on unemployment and food aid. I realized that i couldnt hack the rent even if disability came through. since i ran out of choices..im going to be moving i...	YARNCRAZY	5	475	Feb 8, 2017 by andromeda
	Relapse in my recovery (Preview) I'm new to Al-anon and in recent days I've experienced something that I would call a relapse in my recovery. About a week ago I was Happy - despite outside circumstances - quite serene, feeling for the first time in a very long while spiritually quite healthy, and I still do feel that my life, my attitude...	Aline	4	457	Feb 8, 2017 by Aline
	Emotional Sobriety is my goal (Preview) I have been reading a bit on this and I don't have it all the time. I think it means maturity, not becoming anxious when I don't get my own way. When people, places and things aren't doing what I want, when things are not going my way its about accepting things just as they are, not fighting the reality, tryi...	el-cee	6	828	Feb 8, 2017 by Calm Lady
	Suicidal (Preview) I dont say these words lightly. I truely have lost all hope. Today my recovering told me he had never had romantic feelings for me. I am utterly devistated. other areas of my life are such a mess. I was hoping he was the one good thing in my life. How the hell can you spend 2.5 years with someone tallkimg abou...	tealfighter	19	1192	Feb 8, 2017 by tiredtonite
	2-8-17 One Day at a Time in ALAnon (Preview) Today's reading notes the surprise that meets many of us newcomers when we find smiling, cheerful members at our face to face meetings. How is this possible with the dreadful effects of living with the disease? We find out by attending meetings regularly, reading, and listening to the Experience, S...	Enigmatic	5	3019	Feb 8, 2017 by Iamhere
	Alcoholic spouse lost his job. (Preview) (Explanation) AH who was main bread winner finally drank his way out of a job. I work a few days a week and part time. He has driven us into debt with all of his medical bills, therapy, inpatient treatment and of course alcohol consumption. Like the rest of you I have lived through tirades, drama, and m...	Groo	8	700	Feb 8, 2017 by Iamhere
	My boyfriend and I are struggling.... (Preview) Hey Everyone! I am new to the group so please bare with me. I will go ahead and say I'm not a good writer and have awful spelling/grammer. LOL! I do however have a sense of humor(dry). I am dating a man(for 2 years), when we met he had moved in with his PaPaw(grandfather) to take care of him because he i...	Mat	4	556	Feb 8, 2017 by Iamhere
	Daughters resentment (Preview) My daughter has so much resentment she is not going to heal and I am losing hope of every having a good relationship with her. SHe is drinking occasionally but otherwise white-knuckling it and not going to meetings and thus she is overcome with resentment and self pity and last night I dug a hole for mys...	churchlady62	4	523	Feb 8, 2017 by Iamhere
	ABF suddenly wants time apart (Preview) My ABF has been controlling his drinking for the last few months. He's done well drinking in moderation, even though I suspected for a while he may be doing other things to chase the high. Now suddenly, he says he needs time apart from me because he knows he can do it with me, but he needs to see if he can do...	madowl86	0	359	Feb 7, 2017 by madowl86
	Keeping quiet about what you know (Preview) Has anyone had the issue of..."I snooped and now I know condemning things about my A." I listen to him lie and lie and lie and the whole time I'm sittting here with questions that I can't ask. I strongly feel like if I brought up what I know he would become very angry. and I'm always afraid to make him upset....	madowl86	20	1353	Feb 7, 2017 by madowl86
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.