Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about Step 4 - a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Most of us find, as the writer did, that much of our behavior was extremely immature. This then begs the question - what is mature behavior? The answer is different for each of us, but exploring the question can...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

I get it (in my own way). I can read these posts over and over, some bits hit home other not so much. Doing what right for me most definitely won't be right for the next. My A was at it again. This he choose to remove himself from the room. That helped me to detach. I could carry on my night. This morning I fe...

kzoomom79 · kzoomom79

So my AH has not been drinking for about a month (on his own) and staying home more, making dinner for the family, etc. He is upset with me now because I am not showing him the affection that he needs. He says that I don't initiate a hug, kissing him or sex. All above are actually true. I told him that I am k...

tealfighter · tealfighter

I haven't been to a meeting in a couple weeks due to illness. I quite speaking to my qualifier about a month ago. I still can't believe it has been a month. I am so incredibly sad that he has not contacted me. I feel so utterly worthless that he doesn't miss me or see me as valuable. I know this is faulty thinki...

Iamhere · Iamhere

There has been many things going on around me. What I've learned in recovery is that I am powerless over people, places and things and my goal is to stay as sane as possible, sober (double winner), serene and of service. These 4 S(s) are a part of my daily morning prayers. So as I've been working my recov...

numan · numan

I dont really know if al-anon is for me or not as being a west of scotland 59 year old male I'm meant to be old enough,tough enough and wise enough to deal with all lifes problems without flinching. I'm at the moment too scared to go near a meeting as in these parts thats what a sniveling weakling would do but...

Bettertomorrow · Bettertomorrow

Hello everyone, I am new to this board and new to Al Anon (attended 3 meetings so far) so please bear with me as I am a fledgling with the steps. My husband is alcoholic - which I have only been aware of since late last year (maybe earlier). Things went rapidly down hill since Christmas. We have 4 childre...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery I gave myself a month off from posting to the Step Board. My vacation has ended so that I posted the First Step to the Step W...

lookingup · lookingup

good morning,good evening alanon family, im not to good at sharing which is a defect of mine needing much work. im very grateful to all of you here on this board that's shared and replied to all that I have shared, land for sharing my journey also, as I come out of my Denial I'm beginning to really learn ,h...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses one of our most helpful tools - CAL or Conference Approved Literature. The Al-Anon literature helps us to learn about replacing long-established, negative ways of thinking with healthier, more positive approaches to life and love. The writer shares that while openin...

Anon111 · Anon111

Hi, I am fairly new on here - mainly just been reading other people's posts and some of the literature, and feeling comforted that there are other people who understand what I'm going through. The thing I'm really struggling with at the moment is whether or not to stay with my alcoholic husband, with w...

RL17 · RL17

My RA husband was grumpy yesterday, and didn't want to go up and socialize with our friends. (They didn't drink in front of him last time, so that wasn't it, and they encouraged and said how proud of him they were for going through treatment. We're in Hawaii, so we don't get to see these friends very oft...

Freetime · Freetime

Hi, MIP friends! Can anyone give me a link to the mobile version of this forum? I used to have it, but can't find it. It would be so much nicer to view this on my phone. Thanks for any help you can give.

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Yes, today is 3-1, but C2C gives us an extra page for leap year, and I really like it. It describes the path of an auto piloted aircraft, not as we might think: constantly locked on course, but slightly off course most of the time as it constantly readjusts to get back on target. Using the program as a guide...

Rickbrins · Rickbrins

I have been going to F2F meeting and reading posts here and find a lot of good info, I am having a hard time these past few days with this thought...My AGF is in a 90 day in patient recovery program and seems to be doing very well. Shortly after she went in I discovered Al-anon and have been growing myself. My...

el-cee · el-cee

That's how I would describe my disease in a nutshell. Always wanting more never feeling satisfied. More of everything life has to offer. Doesn't matter what it is I want to gorge until I don't want it anymore. Like the Buddhists empty ghost that's me.

pumkin26 · pumkin26

So today I woke up and the thoughts were swirling around in my head. I looked out the window (knowing my AH wasn't home) to see if his car was there (haven't done that in over a week) I think I looked out the window 3-4 times. I'm exhausted, didn't sleep well (worked in my sleep). I felt myself going back into...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

Having read so many posts here, I realized it didn't matter what I did or was going on in the life of my A, it was going to happen again. He was going to drink again. The 3Cs taught me that. So while he had a moment of clarity, I choose to enjoy it. Have conversations that we don't normally do....Enjoy sometim...

likemyheart · likemyheart

My heart has joined the thousands, for my friend stopped running today Favorite quote from Watership Down, what is said when someone passes. John, the friend I never met, founded this website that maybe saved my life, it sure as heck saved my sanity. I imagine God welcoming him with open arms and a you d...

M243567 · M243567

Hi all, so my father was an alcoholic for all my childhood up until around 17 he stopped. All I can remember is sitting at home waiting for him to come in the door and smell the horrible smell of alcohol on him. He would then procede to start a fight or something of that nature. I just can't get any of it out of m...

2accept · 2accept

When love's not enough, how do you get back your peace of mind & tranquillity? Tangible suggestions, please. When your prayers are: "God, I hope the alcoholic dies.' Tangibles suggestions. Tired of the neglect, abuse, and deception. Tangibles suggestions, please.

owlhope · owlhope

Hello all. I'm married to an alcoholic. I knew he was an alcoholic while we were dating, but never even considered he was still drinking. I now know that drinks occasionally. His symptoms go from stumbling and slurred speech to passing out to being outright violent at times. He denies that he drink...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page shows how AlAnon guides us gradually along our recovery, one day at a time if we think deeply about and begin to practice what we read in our literature and hear at our meetings. We begin to think less about our qualifier (why does he _____, how can he _____?) from a place of judgement, and mo...

MissM · MissM

Today's c2c focuses on self care, and how growing up in a dysfunctional family can result in poor self-care skills such as an inability to look after ourselves when we feel unwell. Pausing to care for ourselves can feel like self indulgence. However if we pause to observe the people around us when they...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for February 26 reminds us of the basic alanon principles that that in Al-Anon we do not give advice, no matter even when a fellow member is a victim of cruelty, violence and or deprivation. If we urge people to do what we think they should do in a similar crisis and they acted upon...

gabigail · gabigail

Hi everyone- Its been a long time since I've been on here, as life was getting very crazy with my A. She stopped drinking on May 12th and her health quickly turned for the worse. When she was admitted into the hospital Dec. 5th, we weren't sure if she would come home. Her liver was quickly shutting down an...

Jerry F · Jerry F

there is a huge difference and it is very important in regards to my enabling. My experiences are that I very often wanted a "sober" spouse and the reality was that I didn't know what sober was. I accepted it often as others did..."she was just not drinking and using" and I was getting it wrong. When...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about the 4th step and how it gives us an opportunity to heal and replenish ourselves from the depletion that happens as a result of alcoholism. A Fourth Step inventory illuminates our empty spaces and shortcomings. This doesn't have to be a painful or scary experience nor do...

Fooled · Fooled

Its been a year. A whole year! Sunday I had such a deep depression that it has been a whole year and I am dealing with the same stuff. Why? This program isn't about dealing with my RAH, its about me! It's about my facing my fears, my obsession with "controlling" everything around me because I am te...

el-cee · el-cee

A great pamphlet costs about 50p. Maybe even available on line free. All about the roles we play out when we live with alcoholism. Our denial of our own part means we go round and round getting nowhere all the while our self esteem becomes less and less and our controlling and obsession with the drinker g...

shrnp · shrnp

I recently I found out that my ex-Abf's liver is failing. I have written before that he was in a nursing home and had to learn how to walk again. At that time everyone in his family and myself were really happy because he had gotten to the hospital in time and nothing had effected his thinking. However, no...

Tracieann · Tracieann

i'm new here and struggling. can't see clearly right now. my alcoholic boyfriend (sober for 1.5 yrs but not active in recovery program) just broke up with me. i have saved this mans life many times -- getting him to rehab, talking him through suicidal thoughts. helped him heal his relationship with hi...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about awareness of our defects and how we learn about them being both detrimental and beneficial. The writer discusses that as a child, they had grown-up responsibilities and therefore grew up to be a caretaker. The role was comfortable and automatic - thinking of others fi...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I'm hoping sharing about this will help. I realize we all have our stuff but last night and this morning I've had a bit of trouble embracing that rationalization concerning my recovering abf and sponsor. I feel hurt about how each of them treated me last night. My sponsor brought up a politically hot t...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

AH is currently in a not drinking state. At least not at home, and isn't coming home slurring his words drunk....drinks are possible but don't know for sure, nor do I care at the moment. Because his current state of drinks or no drinks hasn't effected me negatively. Or so I thought. As each of these "new...

pumkin26 · pumkin26

I have been with my Alcoholic spouse for 8+ years (we have two young beautiful boys) and somewhere in the midst of life he became an alcoholic. I would say it started around 2-3 years ago, but it was a slow process. It hit me about 6 months ago that he was indeed an alcoholic and me his biggest enabler. Spend...

hotrod · hotrod

In keeping with the Seventh Tradition that states "Every group should be self supporting", the MIP transition committee, voted to solicit contributions from each MIP Board to clear a billing from the Vendor that hosts the Miracle in Progress Boards . This billing indicates that ther...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page encourages us to put the focus on ourselves as we give thought to what we share at meetings, particularly when there are newcomers. Do we share our Experience, Strength, and Hope? Will the new arrivals who are desperate, lonely and seeking answers feel they have landed in the right plac...

jitsuka · jitsuka

As the title says really. I wish the A in my life was dead, it would be a better existence than this for me.

Jayla · Jayla

What do you do when you NEED to set a boundary but you just can't because of the repercussions that would result? There is one particular behavior my AH does that (still) just infuriates me. I have read enough on here and also just feel in myself that that means I need to set a boundary regarding that behav...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

I have seen this quote a few times on here... Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. Lori Deschene. So powerful. I can tell myself one simple word.....pause...

JLR4678 · JLR4678

I am new here, and haven't been to any Al Anon meetings. I have been with my bf for 12 years. We actually met at an AA meeting (I am a recovering addict/alcoholic as well). The first two years were wonderful but he relapsed and has been in and out of recovery ever since. We've been in this vicious cycle for th...

David C · David C

Hello Everyone, This is my first time posting and first time reaching out to others to talk about my boyfriends addiction and disease with Alcohol. I didn't know about it for the first 7 months but found out in October when he was acting a little strange when he came over. Found the bottle in his bag and c...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

As you know, we have a transition team working on saving 12stepforums.net website. I was able to get ahold of John's son today and he is going to be working with us. Just in case we do not get the transfer done in time (we should but always good to be cautious) please send an email to the new site email addre...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

A new day and again I am amazed at how much more I see. And not more about my AH, about me. I see how this all really was affecting me. I noticed I took on the "I don't care" state of mind. I didn't care if I left my home in utter shambles. No one else cares why should I! Small things I let slide became mountains I th...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

What do you say to your spouse when you come home from work and they are already drunk? How do you carry on a conversation like it's just another day. I'm learning to detach myself from the drinking and my biggest challenge at the moment is knowing when to keep my mouth shut. Even though I'm extremely mad t...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

I'm supposed to take AS to dinner tonight. His AGF is off from work and he wants her to come. I don't want to see her but if she can't come he will get angry. My husband will also be very angry with me if I let her come. He was just starting to reach out to me again. Any experiences you can share to help me would be a...

magicmaker · magicmaker

Hello, I am new to this board and I'm hoping to gain a better understanding of a man that I have met in a romantic capacity. We met 6 months ago and at that time he was about 4 months into sobriety. Fast forward to now and he is 9 months sober and I'm trying to understand his emotions, which have been all over t...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

Well, I am working on the Third Step BIG TIME right now as my Alcoholic father just died of liver disease but he made it to 86! We did not have any closure but there were some good moments with us after a long time of no contact. I am asking HP to heal my heart and his heart even in the spirit world. My ex husba...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about coming to terms with past experiences without getting stuck there. It's about reconciling things that have happened in order to move forward. In the second half of the reading, there is a mention of how while facing the feelings didn't change thing...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

(Still on the road, didn't label my snips of my daily; could be C2C) Living with an alcoholic, drinking or not, calls for patience, acceptance and resolution. How do we get that/those? Or more of them? Today's page suggests it is by rejecting emotional attachment with new or existing problems. Spec...

Jerry F · Jerry F

12th stepping, carrying the message with our ESH to those who follow and have the need of serenity, sobriety and sanity as John did. (((hugs)))

Jerry F · Jerry F

Celebrated it as I have the ones before it by trading in my former chip of 37 years and exchanged it for the one I will carry for the next year XXXVIII Mahalo Piha, Deep Gratitude for the AFG for leading me to the doors of recovery and out of the damage of our disease. What ever I have learned is freely giv...

IAmStrong · IAmStrong

There once was a vivacious life loving beautiful girl, Jessica. Oh how she loved people, her job as a Pharmacy Technician and her favorite place on earth, Disneyland! She grew up in this area, just a few miles from her home. Her roommate worked at the Magic Kingdom as well. Her boyfriend! Her mad...

DavidG · DavidG

...news is that John Freifield passed away three hours ago... ... not much more to say at this time... lets just close ranks, and deal with it... ...

JE235 · JE235

I recently decided to make the decision to tell my husband I will not be around him if he is drinking. I don't know if this is helping or hurting. We own a business together and right now I am missing a social event with our business partners because he said he's drinking there so I have to deal with it or not c...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

I feels mixing family and business is a generally a BAD idea. Unfortunately, a sibling opening a high end "resale" store with virtually no help. She says it is her lifelong dream. She is also fully employed and plans to stay that way, leaving a less than optimal spouse to "run" the store (except for b...

Sorcha · Sorcha

So my alcoholic partner has been drinking for the last 3 weeks again. He is a binge drinker who drinks a bottle and a half of vodka a day when he hits it and goes downhill very rapidly these days. He is now in the phase of wanting to stop but not being able to even with medication prescribed by his doctor which...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for February 19 speaks about violence.. The reading suggests that while living with the disease of alcoholism, violence may be part of the equation and that living with the insanity many tend to deny or over look it . The reading tells the story of a woman who had been badly treate...

MissM · MissM

Today's c2c discusses how daily application of our al-anon program helps us to become more patient and tolerant towards other people. Partly, this comes about through examining our own inventories and beginning to recognise that the shortcomings we are so quick to point out in other people are ver...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/3/17 (Preview) Today's reading is about Step 4 - a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Most of us find, as the writer did, that much of our behavior was extremely immature. This then begs the question - what is mature behavior? The answer is different for each of us, but exploring the question can...	Iamhere	2	3007	Mar 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	Take what you want leave the rest (Preview) I get it (in my own way). I can read these posts over and over, some bits hit home other not so much. Doing what right for me most definitely won't be right for the next. My A was at it again. This he choose to remove himself from the room. That helped me to detach. I could carry on my night. This morning I fe...	Curlyblu	11	604	Mar 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	Lack of Affection? (Preview) So my AH has not been drinking for about a month (on his own) and staying home more, making dinner for the family, etc. He is upset with me now because I am not showing him the affection that he needs. He says that I don't initiate a hug, kissing him or sex. All above are actually true. I told him that I am k...	kzoomom79	17	1818	Mar 3, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	I miss him.... (Preview) I haven't been to a meeting in a couple weeks due to illness. I quite speaking to my qualifier about a month ago. I still can't believe it has been a month. I am so incredibly sad that he has not contacted me. I feel so utterly worthless that he doesn't miss me or see me as valuable. I know this is faulty thinki...	tealfighter	9	388	Mar 3, 2017 by lookingup
	Binge Chaos.....if There is Such a Thing!! (Preview) There has been many things going on around me. What I've learned in recovery is that I am powerless over people, places and things and my goal is to stay as sane as possible, sober (double winner), serene and of service. These 4 S(s) are a part of my daily morning prayers. So as I've been working my recov...	Iamhere	6	347	Mar 2, 2017 by Iamhere
	just a hello (Preview) I dont really know if al-anon is for me or not as being a west of scotland 59 year old male I'm meant to be old enough,tough enough and wise enough to deal with all lifes problems without flinching. I'm at the moment too scared to go near a meeting as in these parts thats what a sniveling weakling would do but...	numan	15	454	Mar 2, 2017 by newnoz
	New here - AH acting paranoid (Preview) Hello everyone, I am new to this board and new to Al Anon (attended 3 meetings so far) so please bear with me as I am a fledgling with the steps. My husband is alcoholic - which I have only been aware of since late last year (maybe earlier). Things went rapidly down hill since Christmas. We have 4 childre...	Bettertomorrow	10	474	Mar 2, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Step One (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery I gave myself a month off from posting to the Step Board. My vacation has ended so that I posted the First Step to the Step W...	hotrod	2	341	Mar 2, 2017 by Enigmatic
	Denial ( coming out of Denial) (Preview) good morning,good evening alanon family, im not to good at sharing which is a defect of mine needing much work. im very grateful to all of you here on this board that's shared and replied to all that I have shared, land for sharing my journey also, as I come out of my Denial I'm beginning to really learn ,h...	lookingup	15	954	Mar 2, 2017 by lookingup
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/2/17 (Preview) Today's reading discusses one of our most helpful tools - CAL or Conference Approved Literature. The Al-Anon literature helps us to learn about replacing long-established, negative ways of thinking with healthier, more positive approaches to life and love. The writer shares that while openin...	Iamhere	2	283	Mar 2, 2017 by Iamhere
	Deciding whether to stay in a relationship or not (Preview) Hi, I am fairly new on here - mainly just been reading other people's posts and some of the literature, and feeling comforted that there are other people who understand what I'm going through. The thing I'm really struggling with at the moment is whether or not to stay with my alcoholic husband, with w...	Anon111	14	3253	Mar 2, 2017 by shrnp
	Just don't understand (Preview) My RA husband was grumpy yesterday, and didn't want to go up and socialize with our friends. (They didn't drink in front of him last time, so that wasn't it, and they encouraged and said how proud of him they were for going through treatment. We're in Hawaii, so we don't get to see these friends very oft...	RL17	4	1892	Mar 2, 2017 by Iamhere
	Technical help needed (Preview) Hi, MIP friends! Can anyone give me a link to the mobile version of this forum? I used to have it, but can't find it. It would be so much nicer to view this on my phone. Thanks for any help you can give.	Freetime	3	274	Mar 1, 2017 by 2accept
	2/29/17 Courage to Change (On 3-1-17) (Preview) Yes, today is 3-1, but C2C gives us an extra page for leap year, and I really like it. It describes the path of an auto piloted aircraft, not as we might think: constantly locked on course, but slightly off course most of the time as it constantly readjusts to get back on target. Using the program as a guide...	Enigmatic	3	479	Mar 1, 2017 by lookingup
	Feeling inadequate. (Preview) I have been going to F2F meeting and reading posts here and find a lot of good info, I am having a hard time these past few days with this thought...My AGF is in a 90 day in patient recovery program and seems to be doing very well. Shortly after she went in I discovered Al-anon and have been growing myself. My...	Rickbrins	12	724	Feb 28, 2017 by KT2015
	Never enough (Preview) That's how I would describe my disease in a nutshell. Always wanting more never feeling satisfied. More of everything life has to offer. Doesn't matter what it is I want to gorge until I don't want it anymore. Like the Buddhists empty ghost that's me.	el-cee	7	678	Feb 28, 2017 by Mike B
	Strugglng with Acceptance today (Preview) So today I woke up and the thoughts were swirling around in my head. I looked out the window (knowing my AH wasn't home) to see if his car was there (haven't done that in over a week) I think I looked out the window 3-4 times. I'm exhausted, didn't sleep well (worked in my sleep). I felt myself going back into...	pumkin26	13	680	Feb 28, 2017 by Curlyblu
	And let the free fall begin (Preview) Having read so many posts here, I realized it didn't matter what I did or was going on in the life of my A, it was going to happen again. He was going to drink again. The 3Cs taught me that. So while he had a moment of clarity, I choose to enjoy it. Have conversations that we don't normally do....Enjoy sometim...	Curlyblu	14	503	Feb 27, 2017 by Curlyblu
	You done good son, come on home (Preview) My heart has joined the thousands, for my friend stopped running today Favorite quote from Watership Down, what is said when someone passes. John, the friend I never met, founded this website that maybe saved my life, it sure as heck saved my sanity. I imagine God welcoming him with open arms and a you d...	likemyheart	4	2477	Feb 27, 2017 by Jerry F
	New here (Preview) Hi all, so my father was an alcoholic for all my childhood up until around 17 he stopped. All I can remember is sitting at home waiting for him to come in the door and smell the horrible smell of alcohol on him. He would then procede to start a fight or something of that nature. I just can't get any of it out of m...	M243567	5	450	Feb 27, 2017 by Jerry F
	When you hate an alcoholic...what then? (Preview) When love's not enough, how do you get back your peace of mind & tranquillity? Tangible suggestions, please. When your prayers are: "God, I hope the alcoholic dies.' Tangibles suggestions. Tired of the neglect, abuse, and deception. Tangibles suggestions, please.	2accept	12	741	Feb 27, 2017 by Jazzie18
	New Here (Preview) Hello all. I'm married to an alcoholic. I knew he was an alcoholic while we were dating, but never even considered he was still drinking. I now know that drinks occasionally. His symptoms go from stumbling and slurred speech to passing out to being outright violent at times. He denies that he drink...	owlhope	7	576	Feb 27, 2017 by owlhope
	2/27/17 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (Preview) Today's page shows how AlAnon guides us gradually along our recovery, one day at a time if we think deeply about and begin to practice what we read in our literature and hear at our meetings. We begin to think less about our qualifier (why does he _____, how can he _____?) from a place of judgement, and mo...	Enigmatic	3	431	Feb 27, 2017 by Curlyblu
	Courage to Change 25/2 (Preview) Today's c2c focuses on self care, and how growing up in a dysfunctional family can result in poor self-care skills such as an inability to look after ourselves when we feel unwell. Pausing to care for ourselves can feel like self indulgence. However if we pause to observe the people around us when they...	MissM	4	540	Feb 27, 2017 by KT2015
	ODAT Reading 2-26-2017 (Preview) The ODA T reading for February 26 reminds us of the basic alanon principles that that in Al-Anon we do not give advice, no matter even when a fellow member is a victim of cruelty, violence and or deprivation. If we urge people to do what we think they should do in a similar crisis and they acted upon...	hotrod	3	514	Feb 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	A with a new liver and more (Preview) Hi everyone- Its been a long time since I've been on here, as life was getting very crazy with my A. She stopped drinking on May 12th and her health quickly turned for the worse. When she was admitted into the hospital Dec. 5th, we weren't sure if she would come home. Her liver was quickly shutting down an...	gabigail	6	639	Feb 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	being dry vs being sober (Preview) there is a huge difference and it is very important in regards to my enabling. My experiences are that I very often wanted a "sober" spouse and the reality was that I didn't know what sober was. I accepted it often as others did..."she was just not drinking and using" and I was getting it wrong. When...	Jerry F	4	677	Feb 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/24/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about the 4th step and how it gives us an opportunity to heal and replenish ourselves from the depletion that happens as a result of alcoholism. A Fourth Step inventory illuminates our empty spaces and shortcomings. This doesn't have to be a painful or scary experience nor do...	Iamhere	7	526	Feb 25, 2017 by Iamhere
	How Ala-non works (Preview) Its been a year. A whole year! Sunday I had such a deep depression that it has been a whole year and I am dealing with the same stuff. Why? This program isn't about dealing with my RAH, its about me! It's about my facing my fears, my obsession with "controlling" everything around me because I am te...	Fooled	7	561	Feb 25, 2017 by Iamhere
	Merry go round called denial (Preview) A great pamphlet costs about 50p. Maybe even available on line free. All about the roles we play out when we live with alcoholism. Our denial of our own part means we go round and round getting nowhere all the while our self esteem becomes less and less and our controlling and obsession with the drinker g...	el-cee	10	914	Feb 24, 2017 by Rickbrins
	I might have to make a huge boundary for my A. (Preview) I recently I found out that my ex-Abf's liver is failing. I have written before that he was in a nursing home and had to learn how to walk again. At that time everyone in his family and myself were really happy because he had gotten to the hospital in time and nothing had effected his thinking. However, no...	shrnp	7	563	Feb 24, 2017 by Iamhere
	tracieann (Preview) i'm new here and struggling. can't see clearly right now. my alcoholic boyfriend (sober for 1.5 yrs but not active in recovery program) just broke up with me. i have saved this mans life many times -- getting him to rehab, talking him through suicidal thoughts. helped him heal his relationship with hi...	Tracieann	4	439	Feb 24, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/23/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about awareness of our defects and how we learn about them being both detrimental and beneficial. The writer discusses that as a child, they had grown-up responsibilities and therefore grew up to be a caretaker. The role was comfortable and automatic - thinking of others fi...	Iamhere	4	591	Feb 24, 2017 by Iamhere
	Just Hurt and Working Through It (Preview) I'm hoping sharing about this will help. I realize we all have our stuff but last night and this morning I've had a bit of trouble embracing that rationalization concerning my recovering abf and sponsor. I feel hurt about how each of them treated me last night. My sponsor brought up a politically hot t...	tiredtonite	12	785	Feb 24, 2017 by 2accept
	The what ifs (Preview) AH is currently in a not drinking state. At least not at home, and isn't coming home slurring his words drunk....drinks are possible but don't know for sure, nor do I care at the moment. Because his current state of drinks or no drinks hasn't effected me negatively. Or so I thought. As each of these "new...	Curlyblu	7	549	Feb 23, 2017 by Stan1
	Tyring to take it One Day at a Time (Preview) I have been with my Alcoholic spouse for 8+ years (we have two young beautiful boys) and somewhere in the midst of life he became an alcoholic. I would say it started around 2-3 years ago, but it was a slow process. It hit me about 6 months ago that he was indeed an alcoholic and me his biggest enabler. Spend...	pumkin26	18	624	Feb 23, 2017 by pumkin26
	7 th tradition contributions needed to support MiP (Preview) In keeping with the Seventh Tradition that states "Every group should be self supporting", the MIP transition committee, voted to solicit contributions from each MIP Board to clear a billing from the Vendor that hosts the Miracle in Progress Boards . This billing indicates that ther...	hotrod	15	792	Feb 23, 2017 by Iamhere
	2/22/17 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (ODAT) (Preview) Today's page encourages us to put the focus on ourselves as we give thought to what we share at meetings, particularly when there are newcomers. Do we share our Experience, Strength, and *Hope*? Will the new arrivals who are desperate, lonely and seeking answers feel they have landed in the right plac...	Enigmatic	5	513	Feb 23, 2017 by Iamhere
	I just feel sad and depressed. (Preview) As the title says really. I wish the A in my life was dead, it would be a better existence than this for me.	jitsuka	16	4450	Feb 23, 2017 by jitsuka
	Boundary Needed (Preview) What do you do when you NEED to set a boundary but you just can't because of the repercussions that would result? There is one particular behavior my AH does that (still) just infuriates me. I have read enough on here and also just feel in myself that that means I need to set a boundary regarding that behav...	Jayla	7	574	Feb 23, 2017 by Enigmatic
	The pause (Preview) I have seen this quote a few times on here... Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. Lori Deschene. So powerful. I can tell myself one simple word.....pause...	Curlyblu	4	1399	Feb 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	New here. Desperate for any support/advice on ending 12 year relationship (Preview) I am new here, and haven't been to any Al Anon meetings. I have been with my bf for 12 years. We actually met at an AA meeting (I am a recovering addict/alcoholic as well). The first two years were wonderful but he relapsed and has been in and out of recovery ever since. We've been in this vicious cycle for th...	JLR4678	3	456	Feb 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	New Here (Preview) Hello Everyone, This is my first time posting and first time reaching out to others to talk about my boyfriends addiction and disease with Alcohol. I didn't know about it for the first 7 months but found out in October when he was acting a little strange when he came over. Found the bottle in his bag and c...	David C	4	422	Feb 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	Saving the Site (Preview) As you know, we have a transition team working on saving 12stepforums.net website. I was able to get ahold of John's son today and he is going to be working with us. Just in case we do not get the transfer done in time (we should but always good to be cautious) please send an email to the new site email addre...	kismetstrand	4	628	Feb 22, 2017 by kismetstrand
	Accepting has opened my eyes for me to see (Preview) A new day and again I am amazed at how much more I see. And not more about my AH, about me. I see how this all really was affecting me. I noticed I took on the "I don't care" state of mind. I didn't care if I left my home in utter shambles. No one else cares why should I! Small things I let slide became mountains I th...	Curlyblu	3	424	Feb 22, 2017 by hotrod
	What do you say.... ( 1 2 ) (Preview) What do you say to your spouse when you come home from work and they are already drunk? How do you carry on a conversation like it's just another day. I'm learning to detach myself from the drinking and my biggest challenge at the moment is knowing when to keep my mouth shut. Even though I'm extremely mad t...	Curlyblu	41	1158	Feb 22, 2017 by jitsuka
	Please any experiences that might help (Preview) I'm supposed to take AS to dinner tonight. His AGF is off from work and he wants her to come. I don't want to see her but if she can't come he will get angry. My husband will also be very angry with me if I let her come. He was just starting to reach out to me again. Any experiences you can share to help me would be a...	Tannersmom	5	502	Feb 21, 2017 by a4l
	Recovering Alcoholic and Emotions (Preview) Hello, I am new to this board and I'm hoping to gain a better understanding of a man that I have met in a romantic capacity. We met 6 months ago and at that time he was about 4 months into sobriety. Fast forward to now and he is 9 months sober and I'm trying to understand his emotions, which have been all over t...	magicmaker	7	572	Feb 21, 2017 by Jerry F
	Letting Go and Letting God...really working on it! (Preview) Well, I am working on the Third Step BIG TIME right now as my Alcoholic father just died of liver disease but he made it to 86! We did not have any closure but there were some good moments with us after a long time of no contact. I am asking HP to heal my heart and his heart even in the spirit world. My ex husba...	Charlotte22	4	612	Feb 21, 2017 by shrnp
	Hope for Today Feb 21 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about coming to terms with past experiences without getting stuck there. It's about reconciling things that have happened in order to move forward. In the second half of the reading, there is a mention of how while facing the feelings didn't change thing...	yanksfan51	3	548	Feb 21, 2017 by _bunny_
	2-20-17 ONe Day at a Time (I think) (Preview) (Still on the road, didn't label my snips of my daily; could be C2C) Living with an alcoholic, drinking or not, calls for patience, acceptance and resolution. How do we get that/those? Or more of them? Today's page suggests it is by rejecting emotional attachment with new or existing problems. Spec...	Enigmatic	5	405	Feb 20, 2017 by Iamhere
	We can and will carry on (Preview) 12th stepping, carrying the message with our ESH to those who follow and have the need of serenity, sobriety and sanity as John did. (((hugs)))	Jerry F	9	677	Feb 20, 2017 by 1911A1
	Anniversary ... (Preview) Celebrated it as I have the ones before it by trading in my former chip of 37 years and exchanged it for the one I will carry for the next year XXXVIII Mahalo Piha, Deep Gratitude for the AFG for leading me to the doors of recovery and out of the damage of our disease. What ever I have learned is freely giv...	Jerry F	11	709	Feb 19, 2017 by el-cee
	A Story (Preview) There once was a vivacious life loving beautiful girl, Jessica. Oh how she loved people, her job as a Pharmacy Technician and her favorite place on earth, Disneyland! She grew up in this area, just a few miles from her home. Her roommate worked at the Magic Kingdom as well. Her boyfriend! Her mad...	IAmStrong	6	477	Feb 19, 2017 by a4l
	The sad news about John... freed at last... (Preview) ...news is that John Freifield passed away three hours ago... ... not much more to say at this time... lets just close ranks, and deal with it... ...	DavidG	27	1080	Feb 19, 2017 by lgnutah
	Won't Be around him if he's drinking (Preview) I recently decided to make the decision to tell my husband I will not be around him if he is drinking. I don't know if this is helping or hurting. We own a business together and right now I am missing a social event with our business partners because he said he's drinking there so I have to deal with it or not c...	JE235	5	506	Feb 19, 2017 by Curlyblu
	*super long post - sibling issues* (Preview) I feels mixing family and business is a generally a BAD idea. Unfortunately, a sibling opening a high end "resale" store with virtually no help. She says it is her lifelong dream. She is also fully employed and plans to stay that way, leaving a less than optimal spouse to "run" the store (except for b...	Doingmybest	9	585	Feb 19, 2017 by lookingup
	The drinking is in progress again (Preview) So my alcoholic partner has been drinking for the last 3 weeks again. He is a binge drinker who drinks a bottle and a half of vodka a day when he hits it and goes downhill very rapidly these days. He is now in the phase of wanting to stop but not being able to even with medication prescribed by his doctor which...	Sorcha	4	576	Feb 19, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT Reading 2-19-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for February 19 speaks about violence.. The reading suggests that while living with the disease of alcoholism, violence may be part of the equation and that living with the insanity many tend to deny or over look it . The reading tells the story of a woman who had been badly treate...	hotrod	4	599	Feb 19, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 18/2 (Preview) Today's c2c discusses how daily application of our al-anon program helps us to become more patient and tolerant towards other people. Partly, this comes about through examining our own inventories and beginning to recognise that the shortcomings we are so quick to point out in other people are ver...	MissM	2	461	Feb 18, 2017 by MeTwo2
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.