Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

pumkin26 · pumkin26

So today I woke up and the thoughts were swirling around in my head. I looked out the window (knowing my AH wasn't home) to see if his car was there (haven't done that in over a week) I think I looked out the window 3-4 times. I'm exhausted, didn't sleep well (worked in my sleep). I felt myself going back into...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

Having read so many posts here, I realized it didn't matter what I did or was going on in the life of my A, it was going to happen again. He was going to drink again. The 3Cs taught me that. So while he had a moment of clarity, I choose to enjoy it. Have conversations that we don't normally do....Enjoy sometim...

likemyheart · likemyheart

My heart has joined the thousands, for my friend stopped running today Favorite quote from Watership Down, what is said when someone passes. John, the friend I never met, founded this website that maybe saved my life, it sure as heck saved my sanity. I imagine God welcoming him with open arms and a you d...

M243567 · M243567

Hi all, so my father was an alcoholic for all my childhood up until around 17 he stopped. All I can remember is sitting at home waiting for him to come in the door and smell the horrible smell of alcohol on him. He would then procede to start a fight or something of that nature. I just can't get any of it out of m...

2accept · 2accept

When love's not enough, how do you get back your peace of mind & tranquillity? Tangible suggestions, please. When your prayers are: "God, I hope the alcoholic dies.' Tangibles suggestions. Tired of the neglect, abuse, and deception. Tangibles suggestions, please.

owlhope · owlhope

Hello all. I'm married to an alcoholic. I knew he was an alcoholic while we were dating, but never even considered he was still drinking. I now know that drinks occasionally. His symptoms go from stumbling and slurred speech to passing out to being outright violent at times. He denies that he drink...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page shows how AlAnon guides us gradually along our recovery, one day at a time if we think deeply about and begin to practice what we read in our literature and hear at our meetings. We begin to think less about our qualifier (why does he _____, how can he _____?) from a place of judgement, and mo...

MissM · MissM

Today's c2c focuses on self care, and how growing up in a dysfunctional family can result in poor self-care skills such as an inability to look after ourselves when we feel unwell. Pausing to care for ourselves can feel like self indulgence. However if we pause to observe the people around us when they...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for February 26 reminds us of the basic alanon principles that that in Al-Anon we do not give advice, no matter even when a fellow member is a victim of cruelty, violence and or deprivation. If we urge people to do what we think they should do in a similar crisis and they acted upon...

gabigail · gabigail

Hi everyone- Its been a long time since I've been on here, as life was getting very crazy with my A. She stopped drinking on May 12th and her health quickly turned for the worse. When she was admitted into the hospital Dec. 5th, we weren't sure if she would come home. Her liver was quickly shutting down an...

Jerry F · Jerry F

there is a huge difference and it is very important in regards to my enabling. My experiences are that I very often wanted a "sober" spouse and the reality was that I didn't know what sober was. I accepted it often as others did..."she was just not drinking and using" and I was getting it wrong. When...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about the 4th step and how it gives us an opportunity to heal and replenish ourselves from the depletion that happens as a result of alcoholism. A Fourth Step inventory illuminates our empty spaces and shortcomings. This doesn't have to be a painful or scary experience nor do...

Fooled · Fooled

Its been a year. A whole year! Sunday I had such a deep depression that it has been a whole year and I am dealing with the same stuff. Why? This program isn't about dealing with my RAH, its about me! It's about my facing my fears, my obsession with "controlling" everything around me because I am te...

el-cee · el-cee

A great pamphlet costs about 50p. Maybe even available on line free. All about the roles we play out when we live with alcoholism. Our denial of our own part means we go round and round getting nowhere all the while our self esteem becomes less and less and our controlling and obsession with the drinker g...

shrnp · shrnp

I recently I found out that my ex-Abf's liver is failing. I have written before that he was in a nursing home and had to learn how to walk again. At that time everyone in his family and myself were really happy because he had gotten to the hospital in time and nothing had effected his thinking. However, no...

Tracieann · Tracieann

i'm new here and struggling. can't see clearly right now. my alcoholic boyfriend (sober for 1.5 yrs but not active in recovery program) just broke up with me. i have saved this mans life many times -- getting him to rehab, talking him through suicidal thoughts. helped him heal his relationship with hi...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about awareness of our defects and how we learn about them being both detrimental and beneficial. The writer discusses that as a child, they had grown-up responsibilities and therefore grew up to be a caretaker. The role was comfortable and automatic - thinking of others fi...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I'm hoping sharing about this will help. I realize we all have our stuff but last night and this morning I've had a bit of trouble embracing that rationalization concerning my recovering abf and sponsor. I feel hurt about how each of them treated me last night. My sponsor brought up a politically hot t...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

AH is currently in a not drinking state. At least not at home, and isn't coming home slurring his words drunk....drinks are possible but don't know for sure, nor do I care at the moment. Because his current state of drinks or no drinks hasn't effected me negatively. Or so I thought. As each of these "new...

pumkin26 · pumkin26

I have been with my Alcoholic spouse for 8+ years (we have two young beautiful boys) and somewhere in the midst of life he became an alcoholic. I would say it started around 2-3 years ago, but it was a slow process. It hit me about 6 months ago that he was indeed an alcoholic and me his biggest enabler. Spend...

hotrod · hotrod

In keeping with the Seventh Tradition that states "Every group should be self supporting", the MIP transition committee, voted to solicit contributions from each MIP Board to clear a billing from the Vendor that hosts the Miracle in Progress Boards . This billing indicates that ther...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page encourages us to put the focus on ourselves as we give thought to what we share at meetings, particularly when there are newcomers. Do we share our Experience, Strength, and Hope? Will the new arrivals who are desperate, lonely and seeking answers feel they have landed in the right plac...

jitsuka · jitsuka

As the title says really. I wish the A in my life was dead, it would be a better existence than this for me.

Jayla · Jayla

What do you do when you NEED to set a boundary but you just can't because of the repercussions that would result? There is one particular behavior my AH does that (still) just infuriates me. I have read enough on here and also just feel in myself that that means I need to set a boundary regarding that behav...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

I have seen this quote a few times on here... Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. Lori Deschene. So powerful. I can tell myself one simple word.....pause...

JLR4678 · JLR4678

I am new here, and haven't been to any Al Anon meetings. I have been with my bf for 12 years. We actually met at an AA meeting (I am a recovering addict/alcoholic as well). The first two years were wonderful but he relapsed and has been in and out of recovery ever since. We've been in this vicious cycle for th...

David C · David C

Hello Everyone, This is my first time posting and first time reaching out to others to talk about my boyfriends addiction and disease with Alcohol. I didn't know about it for the first 7 months but found out in October when he was acting a little strange when he came over. Found the bottle in his bag and c...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

As you know, we have a transition team working on saving 12stepforums.net website. I was able to get ahold of John's son today and he is going to be working with us. Just in case we do not get the transfer done in time (we should but always good to be cautious) please send an email to the new site email addre...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

A new day and again I am amazed at how much more I see. And not more about my AH, about me. I see how this all really was affecting me. I noticed I took on the "I don't care" state of mind. I didn't care if I left my home in utter shambles. No one else cares why should I! Small things I let slide became mountains I th...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

What do you say to your spouse when you come home from work and they are already drunk? How do you carry on a conversation like it's just another day. I'm learning to detach myself from the drinking and my biggest challenge at the moment is knowing when to keep my mouth shut. Even though I'm extremely mad t...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

I'm supposed to take AS to dinner tonight. His AGF is off from work and he wants her to come. I don't want to see her but if she can't come he will get angry. My husband will also be very angry with me if I let her come. He was just starting to reach out to me again. Any experiences you can share to help me would be a...

magicmaker · magicmaker

Hello, I am new to this board and I'm hoping to gain a better understanding of a man that I have met in a romantic capacity. We met 6 months ago and at that time he was about 4 months into sobriety. Fast forward to now and he is 9 months sober and I'm trying to understand his emotions, which have been all over t...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

Well, I am working on the Third Step BIG TIME right now as my Alcoholic father just died of liver disease but he made it to 86! We did not have any closure but there were some good moments with us after a long time of no contact. I am asking HP to heal my heart and his heart even in the spirit world. My ex husba...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about coming to terms with past experiences without getting stuck there. It's about reconciling things that have happened in order to move forward. In the second half of the reading, there is a mention of how while facing the feelings didn't change thing...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

(Still on the road, didn't label my snips of my daily; could be C2C) Living with an alcoholic, drinking or not, calls for patience, acceptance and resolution. How do we get that/those? Or more of them? Today's page suggests it is by rejecting emotional attachment with new or existing problems. Spec...

Jerry F · Jerry F

12th stepping, carrying the message with our ESH to those who follow and have the need of serenity, sobriety and sanity as John did. (((hugs)))

Jerry F · Jerry F

Celebrated it as I have the ones before it by trading in my former chip of 37 years and exchanged it for the one I will carry for the next year XXXVIII Mahalo Piha, Deep Gratitude for the AFG for leading me to the doors of recovery and out of the damage of our disease. What ever I have learned is freely giv...

IAmStrong · IAmStrong

There once was a vivacious life loving beautiful girl, Jessica. Oh how she loved people, her job as a Pharmacy Technician and her favorite place on earth, Disneyland! She grew up in this area, just a few miles from her home. Her roommate worked at the Magic Kingdom as well. Her boyfriend! Her mad...

DavidG · DavidG

...news is that John Freifield passed away three hours ago... ... not much more to say at this time... lets just close ranks, and deal with it... ...

JE235 · JE235

I recently decided to make the decision to tell my husband I will not be around him if he is drinking. I don't know if this is helping or hurting. We own a business together and right now I am missing a social event with our business partners because he said he's drinking there so I have to deal with it or not c...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

I feels mixing family and business is a generally a BAD idea. Unfortunately, a sibling opening a high end "resale" store with virtually no help. She says it is her lifelong dream. She is also fully employed and plans to stay that way, leaving a less than optimal spouse to "run" the store (except for b...

Sorcha · Sorcha

So my alcoholic partner has been drinking for the last 3 weeks again. He is a binge drinker who drinks a bottle and a half of vodka a day when he hits it and goes downhill very rapidly these days. He is now in the phase of wanting to stop but not being able to even with medication prescribed by his doctor which...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for February 19 speaks about violence.. The reading suggests that while living with the disease of alcoholism, violence may be part of the equation and that living with the insanity many tend to deny or over look it . The reading tells the story of a woman who had been badly treate...

MissM · MissM

Today's c2c discusses how daily application of our al-anon program helps us to become more patient and tolerant towards other people. Partly, this comes about through examining our own inventories and beginning to recognise that the shortcomings we are so quick to point out in other people are ver...

John · John

https://youtu.be/SLwM-ujWtoc Jjohn

_bunny_ · _bunny_

For me, prayer is humbly asking my HP to guide me through my day. I willingly hand my whole day over because I have confidence my HP will answer all my prayers and has an amazing journey planned for me. My prayers are answered when I'm peaceful and serene, when my self will/ego is quiet and when I'm in the pr...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading compares alcoholism to a tornado - not only do we have to watch out for the wind, we also have to watch for what the wind may pick up and throw our direction. Alcoholism often brings along additional issues such as verbal, physical, sexual abuse, illness, debt, prison, infidelity and...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about how our vision can be limited, and we can become focused on outcomes only we see. It's easy for us to forget that a Higher Power is not restricted to our logic, and many wondrous events grow out of what appear to be disasters. Faith is a marvelous gift!! Faith does take pract...

SaraLin · SaraLin

I broke up with alcoholic boyfriend this morning. He's been treating me really badly lately & constantly lying about drinking. I told him last night that eventually he will need to choose between getting himself help and having me in his life. He cracked open a beer at 7.30am this morning and I jus...

RL17 · RL17

Thank you to all who make this forum board what it is. I've found the step board, and am starting to work through Step 1. I've printed out the step and all the questions, and am reading through the replies. Woke up stressed after a nightmare about AH this morning, and found comfort in the board. This i...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

Excuse me if I ramble. I just can't get my thoughts in order. I hadn't heard from my son in weeks. I was starting to get a bit unnerved. Last we had talked he was having BP and HR problems and I was worried. My ex and I decided to send an email telling him he had to call (not text) us by noon the next day or we w...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page asks us to think about approaching our AlAnon recovery program as we would if we were learning a new language... because in fact we are. Most don't get to the point of fluently speaking another language casually. Immersion is often recommended, where we surround ourselves with those w...

RL17 · RL17

My husband is away at rehab, and will be coming home in a week. He's doing amazing, and is so positive and determined. I guess I just need to hear some positive stories from people who have had things work out, and the husband stayed sober, and things got better. So far, I'm terrified from stories I've...

kari · kari

Teens substance abuse has made fme feel socially uneasy. I didn't grow up with this and it feel bad.

KT2015 · KT2015

Hi Everyone, I wanted to drop by and wish everyone a very happy valentine's day. I haven't been around the board much but I have been working my program a lot with my sponsor. I have been working step four and it's been difficult to do that so I'm taking it slowly. This valentine's day helped me reflect...

hotrod · hotrod

HI Everyone Mary Posted this message to the Business section of the Alanon Forum. I transferred it Hope for Today Feb 14Permalink Reply Quote More Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the importance of listening, and the value of being heard. The strength in our meetings often is f...

thekentuckygent · thekentuckygent

ABF is not responding well to my detaching and not engaging any longer in arguments. This morning he left to drive home (1 1/2 hours away), and said that I was about to learn what real pain felt like because he was never going to speak to me again. I know this is the disease talking, and while every fiber i...

thekentuckygent · thekentuckygent

Happy Valentines Day all! ABF (currently not going to meetings and trying the whole few drinks here and there because he has "control" thing) asked if I wanted him to pick up a bottle of champagne on the way to celebrate with. I told him no, that I wouldn't tell him what to do in regards to his drinking but I...

tealfighter · tealfighter

I want to start with all the positive. I am getting ready to attend my second meeting this Tuesday. I have read half of the book How Al-Anon works waiting for my Courage to Change to come in the mail. I am defiantly making some progress. For that I have much hope and joy. I also got a journal to begin to write i...

Michelle26 · Michelle26

Hi everyone. I'm a newbie to Al Anon. This is my first dealings with it. My husband is currently in rehab. Just 4 days now. He did make this decision on his own. I honestly don't know exactly how long his program will last for him and nor does he at this time. We've only just spoken yesterday. I fou...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Strugglng with Acceptance today (Preview) So today I woke up and the thoughts were swirling around in my head. I looked out the window (knowing my AH wasn't home) to see if his car was there (haven't done that in over a week) I think I looked out the window 3-4 times. I'm exhausted, didn't sleep well (worked in my sleep). I felt myself going back into...	pumkin26	13	647	Feb 28, 2017 by Curlyblu
	And let the free fall begin (Preview) Having read so many posts here, I realized it didn't matter what I did or was going on in the life of my A, it was going to happen again. He was going to drink again. The 3Cs taught me that. So while he had a moment of clarity, I choose to enjoy it. Have conversations that we don't normally do....Enjoy sometim...	Curlyblu	14	471	Feb 27, 2017 by Curlyblu
	You done good son, come on home (Preview) My heart has joined the thousands, for my friend stopped running today Favorite quote from Watership Down, what is said when someone passes. John, the friend I never met, founded this website that maybe saved my life, it sure as heck saved my sanity. I imagine God welcoming him with open arms and a you d...	likemyheart	4	2391	Feb 27, 2017 by Jerry F
	New here (Preview) Hi all, so my father was an alcoholic for all my childhood up until around 17 he stopped. All I can remember is sitting at home waiting for him to come in the door and smell the horrible smell of alcohol on him. He would then procede to start a fight or something of that nature. I just can't get any of it out of m...	M243567	5	420	Feb 27, 2017 by Jerry F
	When you hate an alcoholic...what then? (Preview) When love's not enough, how do you get back your peace of mind & tranquillity? Tangible suggestions, please. When your prayers are: "God, I hope the alcoholic dies.' Tangibles suggestions. Tired of the neglect, abuse, and deception. Tangibles suggestions, please.	2accept	12	703	Feb 27, 2017 by Jazzie18
	New Here (Preview) Hello all. I'm married to an alcoholic. I knew he was an alcoholic while we were dating, but never even considered he was still drinking. I now know that drinks occasionally. His symptoms go from stumbling and slurred speech to passing out to being outright violent at times. He denies that he drink...	owlhope	7	549	Feb 27, 2017 by owlhope
	2/27/17 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (Preview) Today's page shows how AlAnon guides us gradually along our recovery, one day at a time if we think deeply about and begin to practice what we read in our literature and hear at our meetings. We begin to think less about our qualifier (why does he _____, how can he _____?) from a place of judgement, and mo...	Enigmatic	3	404	Feb 27, 2017 by Curlyblu
	Courage to Change 25/2 (Preview) Today's c2c focuses on self care, and how growing up in a dysfunctional family can result in poor self-care skills such as an inability to look after ourselves when we feel unwell. Pausing to care for ourselves can feel like self indulgence. However if we pause to observe the people around us when they...	MissM	4	503	Feb 27, 2017 by KT2015
	ODAT Reading 2-26-2017 (Preview) The ODA T reading for February 26 reminds us of the basic alanon principles that that in Al-Anon we do not give advice, no matter even when a fellow member is a victim of cruelty, violence and or deprivation. If we urge people to do what we think they should do in a similar crisis and they acted upon...	hotrod	3	489	Feb 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	A with a new liver and more (Preview) Hi everyone- Its been a long time since I've been on here, as life was getting very crazy with my A. She stopped drinking on May 12th and her health quickly turned for the worse. When she was admitted into the hospital Dec. 5th, we weren't sure if she would come home. Her liver was quickly shutting down an...	gabigail	6	605	Feb 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	being dry vs being sober (Preview) there is a huge difference and it is very important in regards to my enabling. My experiences are that I very often wanted a "sober" spouse and the reality was that I didn't know what sober was. I accepted it often as others did..."she was just not drinking and using" and I was getting it wrong. When...	Jerry F	4	638	Feb 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/24/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about the 4th step and how it gives us an opportunity to heal and replenish ourselves from the depletion that happens as a result of alcoholism. A Fourth Step inventory illuminates our empty spaces and shortcomings. This doesn't have to be a painful or scary experience nor do...	Iamhere	7	499	Feb 25, 2017 by Iamhere
	How Ala-non works (Preview) Its been a year. A whole year! Sunday I had such a deep depression that it has been a whole year and I am dealing with the same stuff. Why? This program isn't about dealing with my RAH, its about me! It's about my facing my fears, my obsession with "controlling" everything around me because I am te...	Fooled	7	523	Feb 25, 2017 by Iamhere
	Merry go round called denial (Preview) A great pamphlet costs about 50p. Maybe even available on line free. All about the roles we play out when we live with alcoholism. Our denial of our own part means we go round and round getting nowhere all the while our self esteem becomes less and less and our controlling and obsession with the drinker g...	el-cee	10	865	Feb 24, 2017 by Rickbrins
	I might have to make a huge boundary for my A. (Preview) I recently I found out that my ex-Abf's liver is failing. I have written before that he was in a nursing home and had to learn how to walk again. At that time everyone in his family and myself were really happy because he had gotten to the hospital in time and nothing had effected his thinking. However, no...	shrnp	7	530	Feb 24, 2017 by Iamhere
	tracieann (Preview) i'm new here and struggling. can't see clearly right now. my alcoholic boyfriend (sober for 1.5 yrs but not active in recovery program) just broke up with me. i have saved this mans life many times -- getting him to rehab, talking him through suicidal thoughts. helped him heal his relationship with hi...	Tracieann	4	408	Feb 24, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/23/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about awareness of our defects and how we learn about them being both detrimental and beneficial. The writer discusses that as a child, they had grown-up responsibilities and therefore grew up to be a caretaker. The role was comfortable and automatic - thinking of others fi...	Iamhere	4	562	Feb 24, 2017 by Iamhere
	Just Hurt and Working Through It (Preview) I'm hoping sharing about this will help. I realize we all have our stuff but last night and this morning I've had a bit of trouble embracing that rationalization concerning my recovering abf and sponsor. I feel hurt about how each of them treated me last night. My sponsor brought up a politically hot t...	tiredtonite	12	752	Feb 24, 2017 by 2accept
	The what ifs (Preview) AH is currently in a not drinking state. At least not at home, and isn't coming home slurring his words drunk....drinks are possible but don't know for sure, nor do I care at the moment. Because his current state of drinks or no drinks hasn't effected me negatively. Or so I thought. As each of these "new...	Curlyblu	7	515	Feb 23, 2017 by Stan1
	Tyring to take it One Day at a Time (Preview) I have been with my Alcoholic spouse for 8+ years (we have two young beautiful boys) and somewhere in the midst of life he became an alcoholic. I would say it started around 2-3 years ago, but it was a slow process. It hit me about 6 months ago that he was indeed an alcoholic and me his biggest enabler. Spend...	pumkin26	18	594	Feb 23, 2017 by pumkin26
	7 th tradition contributions needed to support MiP (Preview) In keeping with the Seventh Tradition that states "Every group should be self supporting", the MIP transition committee, voted to solicit contributions from each MIP Board to clear a billing from the Vendor that hosts the Miracle in Progress Boards . This billing indicates that ther...	hotrod	15	756	Feb 23, 2017 by Iamhere
	2/22/17 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (ODAT) (Preview) Today's page encourages us to put the focus on ourselves as we give thought to what we share at meetings, particularly when there are newcomers. Do we share our Experience, Strength, and *Hope*? Will the new arrivals who are desperate, lonely and seeking answers feel they have landed in the right plac...	Enigmatic	5	480	Feb 23, 2017 by Iamhere
	I just feel sad and depressed. (Preview) As the title says really. I wish the A in my life was dead, it would be a better existence than this for me.	jitsuka	16	4258	Feb 23, 2017 by jitsuka
	Boundary Needed (Preview) What do you do when you NEED to set a boundary but you just can't because of the repercussions that would result? There is one particular behavior my AH does that (still) just infuriates me. I have read enough on here and also just feel in myself that that means I need to set a boundary regarding that behav...	Jayla	7	543	Feb 23, 2017 by Enigmatic
	The pause (Preview) I have seen this quote a few times on here... Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. Lori Deschene. So powerful. I can tell myself one simple word.....pause...	Curlyblu	4	1318	Feb 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	New here. Desperate for any support/advice on ending 12 year relationship (Preview) I am new here, and haven't been to any Al Anon meetings. I have been with my bf for 12 years. We actually met at an AA meeting (I am a recovering addict/alcoholic as well). The first two years were wonderful but he relapsed and has been in and out of recovery ever since. We've been in this vicious cycle for th...	JLR4678	3	428	Feb 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	New Here (Preview) Hello Everyone, This is my first time posting and first time reaching out to others to talk about my boyfriends addiction and disease with Alcohol. I didn't know about it for the first 7 months but found out in October when he was acting a little strange when he came over. Found the bottle in his bag and c...	David C	4	393	Feb 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	Saving the Site (Preview) As you know, we have a transition team working on saving 12stepforums.net website. I was able to get ahold of John's son today and he is going to be working with us. Just in case we do not get the transfer done in time (we should but always good to be cautious) please send an email to the new site email addre...	kismetstrand	4	595	Feb 22, 2017 by kismetstrand
	Accepting has opened my eyes for me to see (Preview) A new day and again I am amazed at how much more I see. And not more about my AH, about me. I see how this all really was affecting me. I noticed I took on the "I don't care" state of mind. I didn't care if I left my home in utter shambles. No one else cares why should I! Small things I let slide became mountains I th...	Curlyblu	3	390	Feb 22, 2017 by hotrod
	What do you say.... ( 1 2 ) (Preview) What do you say to your spouse when you come home from work and they are already drunk? How do you carry on a conversation like it's just another day. I'm learning to detach myself from the drinking and my biggest challenge at the moment is knowing when to keep my mouth shut. Even though I'm extremely mad t...	Curlyblu	41	1103	Feb 22, 2017 by jitsuka
	Please any experiences that might help (Preview) I'm supposed to take AS to dinner tonight. His AGF is off from work and he wants her to come. I don't want to see her but if she can't come he will get angry. My husband will also be very angry with me if I let her come. He was just starting to reach out to me again. Any experiences you can share to help me would be a...	Tannersmom	5	471	Feb 21, 2017 by a4l
	Recovering Alcoholic and Emotions (Preview) Hello, I am new to this board and I'm hoping to gain a better understanding of a man that I have met in a romantic capacity. We met 6 months ago and at that time he was about 4 months into sobriety. Fast forward to now and he is 9 months sober and I'm trying to understand his emotions, which have been all over t...	magicmaker	7	532	Feb 21, 2017 by Jerry F
	Letting Go and Letting God...really working on it! (Preview) Well, I am working on the Third Step BIG TIME right now as my Alcoholic father just died of liver disease but he made it to 86! We did not have any closure but there were some good moments with us after a long time of no contact. I am asking HP to heal my heart and his heart even in the spirit world. My ex husba...	Charlotte22	4	573	Feb 21, 2017 by shrnp
	Hope for Today Feb 21 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about coming to terms with past experiences without getting stuck there. It's about reconciling things that have happened in order to move forward. In the second half of the reading, there is a mention of how while facing the feelings didn't change thing...	yanksfan51	3	512	Feb 21, 2017 by _bunny_
	2-20-17 ONe Day at a Time (I think) (Preview) (Still on the road, didn't label my snips of my daily; could be C2C) Living with an alcoholic, drinking or not, calls for patience, acceptance and resolution. How do we get that/those? Or more of them? Today's page suggests it is by rejecting emotional attachment with new or existing problems. Spec...	Enigmatic	5	378	Feb 20, 2017 by Iamhere
	We can and will carry on (Preview) 12th stepping, carrying the message with our ESH to those who follow and have the need of serenity, sobriety and sanity as John did. (((hugs)))	Jerry F	9	636	Feb 20, 2017 by 1911A1
	Anniversary ... (Preview) Celebrated it as I have the ones before it by trading in my former chip of 37 years and exchanged it for the one I will carry for the next year XXXVIII Mahalo Piha, Deep Gratitude for the AFG for leading me to the doors of recovery and out of the damage of our disease. What ever I have learned is freely giv...	Jerry F	11	674	Feb 19, 2017 by el-cee
	A Story (Preview) There once was a vivacious life loving beautiful girl, Jessica. Oh how she loved people, her job as a Pharmacy Technician and her favorite place on earth, Disneyland! She grew up in this area, just a few miles from her home. Her roommate worked at the Magic Kingdom as well. Her boyfriend! Her mad...	IAmStrong	6	439	Feb 19, 2017 by a4l
	The sad news about John... freed at last... (Preview) ...news is that John Freifield passed away three hours ago... ... not much more to say at this time... lets just close ranks, and deal with it... ...	DavidG	27	1036	Feb 19, 2017 by lgnutah
	Won't Be around him if he's drinking (Preview) I recently decided to make the decision to tell my husband I will not be around him if he is drinking. I don't know if this is helping or hurting. We own a business together and right now I am missing a social event with our business partners because he said he's drinking there so I have to deal with it or not c...	JE235	5	470	Feb 19, 2017 by Curlyblu
	*super long post - sibling issues* (Preview) I feels mixing family and business is a generally a BAD idea. Unfortunately, a sibling opening a high end "resale" store with virtually no help. She says it is her lifelong dream. She is also fully employed and plans to stay that way, leaving a less than optimal spouse to "run" the store (except for b...	Doingmybest	9	549	Feb 19, 2017 by lookingup
	The drinking is in progress again (Preview) So my alcoholic partner has been drinking for the last 3 weeks again. He is a binge drinker who drinks a bottle and a half of vodka a day when he hits it and goes downhill very rapidly these days. He is now in the phase of wanting to stop but not being able to even with medication prescribed by his doctor which...	Sorcha	4	543	Feb 19, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT Reading 2-19-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for February 19 speaks about violence.. The reading suggests that while living with the disease of alcoholism, violence may be part of the equation and that living with the insanity many tend to deny or over look it . The reading tells the story of a woman who had been badly treate...	hotrod	4	561	Feb 19, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 18/2 (Preview) Today's c2c discusses how daily application of our al-anon program helps us to become more patient and tolerant towards other people. Partly, this comes about through examining our own inventories and beginning to recognise that the shortcomings we are so quick to point out in other people are ver...	MissM	2	430	Feb 18, 2017 by MeTwo2
	Video I made about 7-8 yrs ago. (Preview) https://youtu.be/SLwM-ujWtoc Jjohn	John	9	694	Feb 18, 2017 by lookingup
	Prayers and answers (Preview) For me, prayer is humbly asking my HP to guide me through my day. I willingly hand my whole day over because I have confidence my HP will answer all my prayers and has an amazing journey planned for me. My prayers are answered when I'm peaceful and serene, when my self will/ego is quiet and when I'm in the pr...	_bunny_	3	479	Feb 18, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/16/17 (Preview) Today's reading compares alcoholism to a tornado - not only do we have to watch out for the wind, we also have to watch for what the wind may pick up and throw our direction. Alcoholism often brings along additional issues such as verbal, physical, sexual abuse, illness, debt, prison, infidelity and...	Iamhere	4	715	Feb 17, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/17/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about how our vision can be limited, and we can become focused on outcomes only we see. It's easy for us to forget that a Higher Power is not restricted to our logic, and many wondrous events grow out of what appear to be disasters. Faith is a marvelous gift!! Faith does take pract...	Iamhere	1	412	Feb 17, 2017 by hotrod
	I've ended it (Preview) I broke up with alcoholic boyfriend this morning. He's been treating me really badly lately & constantly lying about drinking. I told him last night that eventually he will need to choose between getting himself help and having me in his life. He cracked open a beer at 7.30am this morning and I jus...	SaraLin	2	457	Feb 17, 2017 by Iamhere
	Just want to say THANK YOU!! (Preview) Thank you to all who make this forum board what it is. I've found the step board, and am starting to work through Step 1. I've printed out the step and all the questions, and am reading through the replies. Woke up stressed after a nightmare about AH this morning, and found comfort in the board. This i...	RL17	5	458	Feb 17, 2017 by Suburban Denizen
	A night out (Preview) Excuse me if I ramble. I just can't get my thoughts in order. I hadn't heard from my son in weeks. I was starting to get a bit unnerved. Last we had talked he was having BP and HR problems and I was worried. My ex and I decided to send an email telling him he had to call (not text) us by noon the next day or we w...	Tannersmom	3	484	Feb 16, 2017 by El
	2/15/17 Courage to Change (Preview) Today's page asks us to think about approaching our AlAnon recovery program as we would if we were learning a new language... because in fact we are. Most don't get to the point of fluently speaking another language casually. Immersion is often recommended, where we surround ourselves with those w...	Enigmatic	6	521	Feb 16, 2017 by Iamhere
	Needing positive stories (Preview) My husband is away at rehab, and will be coming home in a week. He's doing amazing, and is so positive and determined. I guess I just need to hear some positive stories from people who have had things work out, and the husband stayed sober, and things got better. So far, I'm terrified from stories I've...	RL17	14	1956	Feb 15, 2017 by RL17
	Teens Substance use and abuse (Preview) Teens substance abuse has made fme feel socially uneasy. I didn't grow up with this and it feel bad.	kari	3	1904	Feb 14, 2017 by kari
	Happy Valentine's Day (Preview) Hi Everyone, I wanted to drop by and wish everyone a very happy valentine's day. I haven't been around the board much but I have been working my program a lot with my sponsor. I have been working step four and it's been difficult to do that so I'm taking it slowly. This valentine's day helped me reflect...	KT2015	6	508	Feb 14, 2017 by lookingup
	HOPE For Today 2-14 (Preview) HI Everyone Mary Posted this message to the Business section of the Alanon Forum. I transferred it Hope for Today Feb 14Permalink Reply Quote More Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the importance of listening, and the value of being heard. The strength in our meetings often is f...	hotrod	4	417	Feb 14, 2017 by DavidG
	To Reach Out or Not, That is The Question (Preview) ABF is not responding well to my detaching and not engaging any longer in arguments. This morning he left to drive home (1 1/2 hours away), and said that I was about to learn what real pain felt like because he was never going to speak to me again. I know this is the disease talking, and while every fiber i...	thekentuckygent	5	487	Feb 14, 2017 by kaotob
	ABF Asked Me to Drink With Him (Preview) Happy Valentines Day all! ABF (currently not going to meetings and trying the whole few drinks here and there because he has "control" thing) asked if I wanted him to pick up a bottle of champagne on the way to celebrate with. I told him no, that I wouldn't tell him what to do in regards to his drinking but I...	thekentuckygent	3	469	Feb 14, 2017 by Iamhere
	Emotional Abuse (Preview) I want to start with all the positive. I am getting ready to attend my second meeting this Tuesday. I have read half of the book How Al-Anon works waiting for my Courage to Change to come in the mail. I am defiantly making some progress. For that I have much hope and joy. I also got a journal to begin to write i...	tealfighter	6	590	Feb 14, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Husband coming home from rehab soon and I'm new to Al Anon (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm a newbie to Al Anon. This is my first dealings with it. My husband is currently in rehab. Just 4 days now. He did make this decision on his own. I honestly don't know exactly how long his program will last for him and nor does he at this time. We've only just spoken yesterday. I fou...	Michelle26	5	541	Feb 14, 2017 by Jazzie18
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.