Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

pumkin26 · pumkin26

So two days in a row. What struck me as I finally crawled out of my wallowing is that I think I am still sick, and I am definitely tired. So maybe that is why I've had two days of slipping right back to square 1. Tonight he wanted to see the boys (never me- yes it hurts, I am working on it) he comes over, plops down...

T_Puppington · T_Puppington

Hi everyone. I've been married to an alcoholic for 6.5 years It started to become a problem about 5.5 years ago when I got pregnant and my husband started ramping up his drinking. I don't think I can adequately convey the feelings disappointment and horror of coming home with a 6 month old in tow, seein...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I have to laugh at myself I am finally feeling back to normal which I don't know good thing or not .. lol. It means I'm a whole lot more ornerier which sometimes is good and not so good in moments where my inappropriate humor comes flying through .. if I didn't have my horribly warped humor I wouldn't have m...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

My A is trying/pretending not to have drinks. It's been almost 2 weeks now, and there has been one time that I'm 99.9% sure he had drinks before he came home. At home he doesn't....there's nothing in the house....he drank it all when he went on his full drunk that lasted days. I'm finding I don't know ho...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses how hard it can be to see our progress in recovery. For those of us who have operated with high expectations, it's even more difficult. When we expect our negative attitudes and unhealthy behaviors to change fast and completely, we are going to be disappointed - progress...

Aerin · Aerin

Hi all, I'm back posting again. My ABF is now 7 months into AA. For the most part I would say he is doing very well. You can see how AA is helping. However, he has had quite a few slips, especially in the last month or so. He does jump right back into the program the next day. He use to go every day, but I kind...

pumkin26 · pumkin26

I am reeling right now. So instead of engaging and allowing my anger to bubble up and cause me to retaliate I am here, venting to you all. My AH has had the flu since the weekend. I posted earlier in the week, unsure if he was truly sick or not. I am still not sure. Might have had the flu, might actually be in wit...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page considers forgiveness...One member admitted seeing it before AlAnon as power, as a judgement passed down from a position of authority, a false display of grace intended to emphasize the other's wrong; publicly forgiving but never forgetting. A healthy perspective with the help of A...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

I am so grateful that my HP sent me a bit of peace yesterday. It was a day of stress and drama. I prayed for his will; on my way home an eagle flew right over my car. Mind you I was in the city so sighting an eagle is very very rare. It flew low and I swear it looked at me . I was at peace, I knew right then an ther...

Bri58 · Bri58

My husband of 4 years has been an alcoholic for over 2 years now. It's such a long story but after dropping out of an impatient program he is in an iop now. We fight...... He gets nasty...... Fight in front of the kids..... Is controlling and overbearing. I coddle the kids and my ways are always wrong. I cou...

a4l · a4l

I don't always agree with society on this one. So, the kids and i remain safe and are doing our best to stay positive though the wordless anger hits me at times as we go through the system. It hits me and at the same time i mentally hit myself for being ungrateful. Lol. So my thoughts initially were, proba...

SaraLin · SaraLin

I broke up with alcoholic boyfriend about a month ago but gave him another chance after he promised to get help. I went and picked him up after we decided to reconcile and he was in bad shape after a 3 day bender. I felt so worried for him. He showed signs of improvement but then failed to follow through wi...

shrnp · shrnp

Some of you know that my ex-alcoholic boyfriend was very sick and had to go to a nursing home. He had hepatitis but the kind you can recover from. He also has cirrhosis of the liver. Anyhow, he had malnutrition from drinking and throwing up so much. That caused him to get Wernicke's encephalopathy. He...

vvv · vvv

As some of you know my ex abf and I still talk, and yet I'm not really sure why (probably because I'm still in love with the man I fell in love with). Anyways, it's getting to the point with our relationship that I have no longer accepted his inappropriate verbally abusive ( you stupid "b"***, if you cared y...

Living Free · Living Free

My ex of 25 yrs was found dead in his home with an almost empty half gal of whiskey by his side. An autopsy was not done and cause of death is going down as a heart attack. I am so confused by the rush of emotions I am feeling. Divorce is a sort of continuation. I always knew he was out there somewhere. Deat...

Ceelee · Ceelee

My AH has been sober for about 4 months. I've been working my recovery hard. We talk a lot about our relationship and trust. I've never trusted him from day one. He is a compulsive liar. He lies about every and anything. So in order to stay in this marriage trust has to be addressed. Well he stole money from...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

Just asking for prayers today; what a roller coaster this stupid disease is. Rough roads ahead and trying to take one day at a time.Thank you!Beth

Connie Sue · Connie Sue

I recently have started hearing the terms, "Qualifier," "Codependent," and "Enabler" in my Al-Anon meetings. Are those appropriate terms to be used in Al-Anon? I know that when I had counseling before I started attending Al-Anon, I heard those terms used all the time and even read literature tha...

Marie71 · Marie71

I am currently separated from my husband of 20+ yrs due to his alcoholism, drug use, emotional and mental abuse and two affairs. I know I have many issues as a result of being in an abusive/alcoholic marriage. I can now see that even though my soon to be ex and I have been separated for two years, many of t...

Rickbrins · Rickbrins

My AGF will be home from her program for the weekend and then in 10 days she will most likely be coming home for good. Right now I am fairly relaxed, although there have been a few triggers coming from family. I am very scared of how things will be when she gets out. She seems to be in a very good mental stat...

Shorty77 · Shorty77

Last weekend my AH went with his sponsor and others to a convention. I asked him how it was? Said it was great, learned a lot, but now all he talks about is how our marriage maunt not last!! WTF! Anyone else have a partner in recovery and the marriage has lasted? We have been married for 17 years. I'm in this f...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

as usual, im in the dark as to why my HP leads me in one direction or another. Being nearly out of money,still umemployed, im moving into my boyfriend's house. what a very different direction then what i planned 1 and 1/2 yrs ago when i left XAH. Been going through a variety of emotions. on one hand, i have b...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- I hope all who are affected by the blizzard are warm, safe and have plenty of food. Today's reading is about how the 12 steps can be put into four categories: Giving up (steps 1-3 giving up the illusion that we can control the A and manage life w out the help of recovery); Owning up (...

Marie71 · Marie71

The people I live with are also considered family, we are very close. However, today the electric co. came with the final notice that winter shut off protection ends today. D said she would pay the bill tomorrow. Problem is, they have been spending money on dinners, clothes etc. I am trying to 'let i...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

Well, AS moved back with his Dad. Dad got him a job and is driving him to work and my dad is picking him up. AS does not have a car and so many points on his license that he can't afford insurance yet. He managed to work a whole week. It has been 9 months since he last worked. He is staying apart from his AGF a...

Iamhere · Iamhere

link....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huf1UlSh_LY

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

or lack of it .. I have been ill for the past week and today is honestly the first day at my job I feel like a real person vs a zombie watching the clock .. ugh. I have a LOT of financial responsibilities going on at the moment with birthday's, two important ones .. one is 13 and the other is 18. My daughter is g...

a4l · a4l

Just a quick reminder to myself as per the subject line. Choosing a marriage to an alcoholic kept me safe from dealing with life. Turns out life is inevitable and must eventually be confronted. However this time around, as i face life again, as life intends, i give myself permission to be excused from...

pumkin26 · pumkin26

So it has been a rough week. I wasn't able to attend online meetings or even attend the one in person meeting (my first one) last week bc I caught the flu. Awful. Anyways my active A was out of town for work and I heard from him off and on Friday, but Friday evening- nothing. All day Saturday- nothing (I didn'...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page mentions what may once have been common, everyday feelings: discomfort when our qualifiers arrive home late, concern about where they are in their program, and fear and anger that come with the assumption they've returned to drinking. Fortunately, that is not AlAnon thinking. With t...

Rickbrins · Rickbrins

Jealousy is a skin I would like to shed, acceptance and understanding is a much better look. I often read about how other Al-anoners feel jealousy with their qualifiers frequent attendance at AA, well I am starting to feel some of that now myself. Between AA meetings and her less than accepting famil...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!Step 2 has been posted to the Step Work Boardhttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t63332514/alanon-s...

Mikhail · Mikhail

I was listening to a recovery related podcast this afternoon and one of the speakers said [and I paraphrase] "When I try to control things in situations when I have no control, I have no energy to change the things that I can change." I hadn't thought about it that way. It makes a lot of sense. How can I be pr...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for March 12 addresses the subject that alcoholism is a disease. The reading goes on to explain that this disease is a compulsion and an obsession. It suggests that we too are subject to a compulsion which also compelles to try to save the alcoholic . No wonder the situation became i...

el-cee · el-cee

I used to think it meant I had to get to a place where I judged the person worthy of wiping the slate clean. Now this would take a whole lot of apologies and a bit of grovelling if possible. Sworn signed statements that they would never ever do the offence to me again and they would only be worthy of my forgive...

Marie71 · Marie71

Along with living with an AH for 20 yrs, he was also abusive mentally and emotionally. I find that the stupidest things trigger me. Today, the woman I live with said she was going to meet her husband for lunch and then go to the store. I wasn't mad or anything, but I could feel my anxiety going up and star...

hotrod · hotrod

I read my husband's inventory book a few days ago. I don't trust my husband because I know he has cheated on me in the past, but he has always tried to deny it. So occasionally I snoop through his stuff. I know I shouldn't have and wish now that I hadn't. Ignorance is bliss! So, I went looking through o...

a4l · a4l

Well were in a new limbo. Its still a better one than the old one and im grateful for the one day at a time philosophy. Actually there's not a lot of choice, im flying by the seat of my pants. Deep down, I have complete faith that the God of my understanding has me and my kids with ease. Closer to the surface,...

MissM · MissM

Today's c2c reading focuses on the positive side of accepting and facing our defects and mistakes. It suggests that we ask for assistance to let go of our old negative tools such as self hate and impatience with ourselves and instead remember that our mistakes "prepare us to make more", ie we are const...

KT2015 · KT2015

My AH and I had been getting along very well lately. I had been working my program pretty well and I have even seen it rub off on him a bit. We just had a fantastic vacation together and I came home feeling better about our relationship than I have in a long time. And then yesterday instead of going to work...

Rickbrins · Rickbrins

I am no botanist, but once I was told, that in order to keep a rose bush happy, you need to trim the unhealthy branches. Failure to do this, the rose will focus its energy trying to repair the damage, depleting it's energy, robbing the healthy portion of the rose the energy it needs to thrive. This will...

DavidG · DavidG

I loved books as a kids- books became my teddy bears. I have noticed that i still have books around me, including my recovery books... ...when i first came upon the MIP groups the talisman I had was found in alanon Concept 4- participation is the key to harmony. i grew up close to an old gold mining town-...

Shorty77 · Shorty77

How do the online meetings work?

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

OK .. so I already know I don't feel good and engaging the ligress is the whole ohhhh today is not the day my friend. Let's just overly qualify and say not this week .. LOL! I'm having a difficult time with expectation and change .. LOL .. this is going to sound so funny this is literally how my brain works....

Bettertomorrow · Bettertomorrow

I would be grateful if some of you would share a very potted version of your journeys with me please. I am new to this and whilst I fully appreciate every journey is different, I would just like to have some idea of what I might expect. We are new to this - just realised at Christmas husband is alcoholic a...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is another great one!! I'm going to start with the Reminder - I like it 'that much'.... Today's Reminder -- Wonderful things can happen today because I welcome the thrill of participating in my own life. Today's Quote from Helen Keller -- "Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run t...

Shorty77 · Shorty77

Hello, scared to go to my first meeting. Any tips?

T-ray · T-ray

Hi all- I'm not sure how this works so I figured I'd reach out for some advice. I've tried an al-anon meeting once, but never a virtual one. My interest in them fluctuates with my brothers using. He's been an addict for 9 years, and after a three month sobriety streak he relapsed two days ago. I've be...

MovieGal · MovieGal

I have been attending 2 meetings a week for a while now and wish I could make some friends in program. Sometimes I share at meetings and sometimes I just listen. I have tried sitting next to people and remembering their names. Some of them remember mine. I have gone up to people and said that their sha...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading from Courage to Change discusses God's will vs. our will. The reading starts out by suggesting that when we feel our serenity slipping away while a war in waged within our minds, and loud voices are pushing one way or another - chances are good that we've gone into 'My Will Mode'. While...

Mikhail · Mikhail

My AF emailed today to say that he and my step-mother are separating. I don't have all the details, but I knew something like this was coming. I don't know if the decision was mutual or otherwise. I have a lot of respect for my step-mother and I wouldn't blame her at all if she was just fed up with my father's...

Ceelee · Ceelee

It's been awhile since I've posted. I'm trying to work my program every day. I'm learning alot about myself and also still have alot of questions. My AH has been sober and in recovery for about 3 months or so. We are both trying but have a very long way to go. One of the revelations about myself that I'm dea...

a4l · a4l

Ok weve done it we're out. Landed well, though the real works about to unfold. Keep us in your prayers and thoughts.

Ceelee · Ceelee

Sorry if that's a bit up front but I can't think of a better way to say it. In working the steps, I realize that at least 2 people that I need to apologize too have past. How do I or do even do I make amends? Thank you for any suggestion.

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page describes a place filled with discouragement, tormented and circular thoughts, apprehension and confusion. This is the place many of us lived in before we found the miracle of AlAnon. Today's Reminder: Every meeting we attend, page we read, and fellow member we share with takes us far...

_bunny_ · _bunny_

We're all here because our physical, emotional and spiritual well being has been affected by the alcoholism of someone close to us and by working the program we will find serenity and sanity...For me, I have found serenity and sanity, I know this because I'm in a peaceful state and I'm living in realit...

pumkin26 · pumkin26

So I have been doing a lot of thinking about "detachment with love" I realized last week that I was practicing detachment before I knew the term, but it was more like "detachment with middle finger". I have set a boundary with my A that he can't "live here" until he is "sober". I put quotes bc I am not certai...

WrenT · WrenT

We've been married 12 years, have 3 children, and he's been an alcoholic for the past 3.5 years. It all started with him being on workman's comp for 6 months, and then losing his job shortly after getting back to work. Then a length of unemployment, followed by a crappy low-paying non-consistent job...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

So this past week my stepson's half brother who is an addict and a friend of my AS, overdosed on Xanax and Fantanyl. After a huge scare of organ failure and heart damage he was sent to a hospital that specializes in heart issues. His organs were not failing but his heart did have damage to it. He was release...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

For sure I need a meeting. I haven't posted for a long time. I am so glad that I figured out how to use the mobile app again. Anyhow I have been through some stuff. Now I have an inside cat. My outside cat died last year & since then we have had this cat that drives me bananas. He rules the roost sometimes. M...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	feeling powerless and unmanageable (Preview) So two days in a row. What struck me as I finally crawled out of my wallowing is that I think I am still sick, and I am definitely tired. So maybe that is why I've had two days of slipping right back to square 1. Tonight he wanted to see the boys (never me- yes it hurts, I am working on it) he comes over, plops down...	pumkin26	6	2354	Mar 17, 2017 by Iamhere
	Difficulties in detaching Functioning alcoholic children detachment (Preview) Hi everyone. I've been married to an alcoholic for 6.5 years It started to become a problem about 5.5 years ago when I got pregnant and my husband started ramping up his drinking. I don't think I can adequately convey the feelings disappointment and horror of coming home with a 6 month old in tow, seein...	T_Puppington	9	8141	Mar 16, 2017 by Jerry F
	Today is not the day .. (Preview) I have to laugh at myself I am finally feeling back to normal which I don't know good thing or not .. lol. It means I'm a whole lot more ornerier which sometimes is good and not so good in moments where my inappropriate humor comes flying through .. if I didn't have my horribly warped humor I wouldn't have m...	SerenityRUS	2	500	Mar 16, 2017 by Iamhere
	This is an odd feeling.... (Preview) My A is trying/pretending not to have drinks. It's been almost 2 weeks now, and there has been one time that I'm 99.9% sure he had drinks before he came home. At home he doesn't....there's nothing in the house....he drank it all when he went on his full drunk that lasted days. I'm finding I don't know ho...	Curlyblu	17	691	Mar 16, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/16/17 (Preview) Today's reading discusses how hard it can be to see our progress in recovery. For those of us who have operated with high expectations, it's even more difficult. When we expect our negative attitudes and unhealthy behaviors to change fast and completely, we are going to be disappointed - progress...	Iamhere	2	976	Mar 16, 2017 by El
	QUESTION FOR ALCOHOLICS (Preview) Hi all, I'm back posting again. My ABF is now 7 months into AA. For the most part I would say he is doing very well. You can see how AA is helping. However, he has had quite a few slips, especially in the last month or so. He does jump right back into the program the next day. He use to go every day, but I kind...	Aerin	11	673	Mar 16, 2017 by a4l
	back into the insanity I go (Preview) I am reeling right now. So instead of engaging and allowing my anger to bubble up and cause me to retaliate I am here, venting to you all. My AH has had the flu since the weekend. I posted earlier in the week, unsure if he was truly sick or not. I am still not sure. Might have had the flu, might actually be in wit...	pumkin26	9	699	Mar 16, 2017 by a4l
	3/15/17 Courage to Change (Preview) Today's page considers forgiveness...One member admitted seeing it before AlAnon as power, as a judgement passed down from a position of authority, a false display of grace intended to emphasize the other's wrong; publicly forgiving but never forgetting. A healthy perspective with the help of A...	Enigmatic	10	564	Mar 15, 2017 by hotrod
	An eagle (Preview) I am so grateful that my HP sent me a bit of peace yesterday. It was a day of stress and drama. I prayed for his will; on my way home an eagle flew right over my car. Mind you I was in the city so sighting an eagle is very very rare. It flew low and I swear it looked at me . I was at peace, I knew right then an ther...	Tannersmom	4	569	Mar 15, 2017 by Iamhere
	Please help I'm so lost and confused (Preview) My husband of 4 years has been an alcoholic for over 2 years now. It's such a long story but after dropping out of an impatient program he is in an iop now. We fight...... He gets nasty...... Fight in front of the kids..... Is controlling and overbearing. I coddle the kids and my ways are always wrong. I cou...	Bri58	16	587	Mar 15, 2017 by Iamhere
	to child support or not to child support (Preview) I don't always agree with society on this one. So, the kids and i remain safe and are doing our best to stay positive though the wordless anger hits me at times as we go through the system. It hits me and at the same time i mentally hit myself for being ungrateful. Lol. So my thoughts initially were, proba...	a4l	5	528	Mar 15, 2017 by 2HP
	He watered down my gin - so angry (Preview) I broke up with alcoholic boyfriend about a month ago but gave him another chance after he promised to get help. I went and picked him up after we decided to reconcile and he was in bad shape after a 3 day bender. I felt so worried for him. He showed signs of improvement but then failed to follow through wi...	SaraLin	13	2462	Mar 15, 2017 by Jerry F
	My A is being released tomomow (Preview) Some of you know that my ex-alcoholic boyfriend was very sick and had to go to a nursing home. He had hepatitis but the kind you can recover from. He also has cirrhosis of the liver. Anyhow, he had malnutrition from drinking and throwing up so much. That caused him to get Wernicke's encephalopathy. He...	shrnp	7	626	Mar 15, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	The alcoholic's plea (Preview) As some of you know my ex abf and I still talk, and yet I'm not really sure why (probably because I'm still in love with the man I fell in love with). Anyways, it's getting to the point with our relationship that I have no longer accepted his inappropriate verbally abusive ( you stupid "b"***, if you cared y...	vvv	7	616	Mar 15, 2017 by Aerin
	My ex AH died in his sleep last week. (Preview) My ex of 25 yrs was found dead in his home with an almost empty half gal of whiskey by his side. An autopsy was not done and cause of death is going down as a heart attack. I am so confused by the rush of emotions I am feeling. Divorce is a sort of continuation. I always knew he was out there somewhere. Deat...	Living Free	10	461	Mar 15, 2017 by Living Free
	Help with setback (Preview) My AH has been sober for about 4 months. I've been working my recovery hard. We talk a lot about our relationship and trust. I've never trusted him from day one. He is a compulsive liar. He lies about every and anything. So in order to stay in this marriage trust has to be addressed. Well he stole money from...	Ceelee	7	627	Mar 15, 2017 by Ceelee
	Prayers please (Preview) Just asking for prayers today; what a roller coaster this stupid disease is. Rough roads ahead and trying to take one day at a time.Thank you!Beth	Tannersmom	6	1860	Mar 15, 2017 by Jen61
	Terms used: Qualifier, Codependent, and Enabler (Preview) I recently have started hearing the terms, "Qualifier," "Codependent," and "Enabler" in my Al-Anon meetings. Are those appropriate terms to be used in Al-Anon? I know that when I had counseling before I started attending Al-Anon, I heard those terms used all the time and even read literature tha...	Connie Sue	7	10918	Mar 14, 2017 by shrnp
	Not sure if Alanon is for me (Preview) I am currently separated from my husband of 20+ yrs due to his alcoholism, drug use, emotional and mental abuse and two affairs. I know I have many issues as a result of being in an abusive/alcoholic marriage. I can now see that even though my soon to be ex and I have been separated for two years, many of t...	Marie71	15	774	Mar 14, 2017 by Rickbrins
	Grant me the Serenity... (Preview) My AGF will be home from her program for the weekend and then in 10 days she will most likely be coming home for good. Right now I am fairly relaxed, although there have been a few triggers coming from family. I am very scared of how things will be when she gets out. She seems to be in a very good mental stat...	Rickbrins	9	482	Mar 14, 2017 by Rickbrins
	AH in recovery (Preview) Last weekend my AH went with his sponsor and others to a convention. I asked him how it was? Said it was great, learned a lot, but now all he talks about is how our marriage maunt not last!! WTF! Anyone else have a partner in recovery and the marriage has lasted? We have been married for 17 years. I'm in this f...	Shorty77	7	588	Mar 14, 2017 by Rickbrins
	different path (Preview) as usual, im in the dark as to why my HP leads me in one direction or another. Being nearly out of money,still umemployed, im moving into my boyfriend's house. what a very different direction then what i planned 1 and 1/2 yrs ago when i left XAH. Been going through a variety of emotions. on one hand, i have b...	YARNCRAZY	3	480	Mar 14, 2017 by Rickbrins
	Hope for Today Mar 14 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- I hope all who are affected by the blizzard are warm, safe and have plenty of food. Today's reading is about how the 12 steps can be put into four categories: Giving up (steps 1-3 giving up the illusion that we can control the A and manage life w out the help of recovery); Owning up (...	yanksfan51	5	541	Mar 14, 2017 by _bunny_
	Big Trigger today (Preview) The people I live with are also considered family, we are very close. However, today the electric co. came with the final notice that winter shut off protection ends today. D said she would pay the bill tomorrow. Problem is, they have been spending money on dinners, clothes etc. I am trying to 'let i...	Marie71	12	674	Mar 14, 2017 by Marie71
	It's a start (Preview) Well, AS moved back with his Dad. Dad got him a job and is driving him to work and my dad is picking him up. AS does not have a car and so many points on his license that he can't afford insurance yet. He managed to work a whole week. It has been 9 months since he last worked. He is staying apart from his AGF a...	Tannersmom	3	1677	Mar 13, 2017 by Rickbrins
	Off-Topic - Joel Osteen - Don't Rely on People (Preview) link....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huf1UlSh_LY	Iamhere	8	3000	Mar 13, 2017 by Iamhere
	Compassion .. (Preview) or lack of it .. I have been ill for the past week and today is honestly the first day at my job I feel like a real person vs a zombie watching the clock .. ugh. I have a LOT of financial responsibilities going on at the moment with birthday's, two important ones .. one is 13 and the other is 18. My daughter is g...	SerenityRUS	2	749	Mar 13, 2017 by a4l
	keeping myself honest (Preview) Just a quick reminder to myself as per the subject line. Choosing a marriage to an alcoholic kept me safe from dealing with life. Turns out life is inevitable and must eventually be confronted. However this time around, as i face life again, as life intends, i give myself permission to be excused from...	a4l	7	430	Mar 13, 2017 by a4l
	on a rollercoaster today (Preview) So it has been a rough week. I wasn't able to attend online meetings or even attend the one in person meeting (my first one) last week bc I caught the flu. Awful. Anyways my active A was out of town for work and I heard from him off and on Friday, but Friday evening- nothing. All day Saturday- nothing (I didn'...	pumkin26	6	371	Mar 13, 2017 by pumkin26
	3/13/17 ODAT (One Day at a Time in AlAnon) (Preview) Today's page mentions what may once have been common, everyday feelings: discomfort when our qualifiers arrive home late, concern about where they are in their program, and fear and anger that come with the assumption they've returned to drinking. Fortunately, that is not AlAnon thinking. With t...	Enigmatic	3	2499	Mar 13, 2017 by Iamhere
	Jealousy (Preview) Jealousy is a skin I would like to shed, acceptance and understanding is a much better look. I often read about how other Al-anoners feel jealousy with their qualifiers frequent attendance at AA, well I am starting to feel some of that now myself. Between AA meetings and her less than accepting famil...	Rickbrins	6	495	Mar 13, 2017 by Iamhere
	Step 2 posted (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!Step 2 has been posted to the Step Work Boardhttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t63332514/alanon-s...	hotrod	3	317	Mar 13, 2017 by Enigmatic
	A Realization (Preview) I was listening to a recovery related podcast this afternoon and one of the speakers said [and I paraphrase] "When I try to control things in situations when I have no control, I have no energy to change the things that I can change." I hadn't thought about it that way. It makes a lot of sense. How can I be pr...	Mikhail	2	338	Mar 12, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT Reading 3-12-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for March 12 addresses the subject that alcoholism is a disease. The reading goes on to explain that this disease is a compulsion and an obsession. It suggests that we too are subject to a compulsion which also compelles to try to save the alcoholic . No wonder the situation became i...	hotrod	7	532	Mar 12, 2017 by hotrod
	Forgiveness a true gift. (Preview) I used to think it meant I had to get to a place where I judged the person worthy of wiping the slate clean. Now this would take a whole lot of apologies and a bit of grovelling if possible. Sworn signed statements that they would never ever do the offence to me again and they would only be worthy of my forgive...	el-cee	3	414	Mar 11, 2017 by a4l
	the stupidest things trigger me... (Preview) Along with living with an AH for 20 yrs, he was also abusive mentally and emotionally. I find that the stupidest things trigger me. Today, the woman I live with said she was going to meet her husband for lunch and then go to the store. I wasn't mad or anything, but I could feel my anxiety going up and star...	Marie71	6	451	Mar 11, 2017 by Marie71
	NEW MEMBER POSTED ON A TOPIC REGARDING READING HER HUSBAND'S INVENTORY (Preview) I read my husband's inventory book a few days ago. I don't trust my husband because I know he has cheated on me in the past, but he has always tried to deny it. So occasionally I snoop through his stuff. I know I shouldn't have and wish now that I hadn't. Ignorance is bliss! So, I went looking through o...	hotrod	8	576	Mar 11, 2017 by tiredtonite
	wavering between faith and panic... it's a strange state (Preview) Well were in a new limbo. Its still a better one than the old one and im grateful for the one day at a time philosophy. Actually there's not a lot of choice, im flying by the seat of my pants. Deep down, I have complete faith that the God of my understanding has me and my kids with ease. Closer to the surface,...	a4l	12	553	Mar 11, 2017 by hotrod
	Courage to Change 11/3 (Preview) Today's c2c reading focuses on the positive side of accepting and facing our defects and mistakes. It suggests that we ask for assistance to let go of our old negative tools such as self hate and impatience with ourselves and instead remember that our mistakes "prepare us to make more", ie we are const...	MissM	1	450	Mar 11, 2017 by hotrod
	struggling today (Preview) My AH and I had been getting along very well lately. I had been working my program pretty well and I have even seen it rub off on him a bit. We just had a fantastic vacation together and I came home feeling better about our relationship than I have in a long time. And then yesterday instead of going to work...	KT2015	9	477	Mar 11, 2017 by KT2015
	Growing Healthy and Strong (Preview) I am no botanist, but once I was told, that in order to keep a rose bush happy, you need to trim the unhealthy branches. Failure to do this, the rose will focus its energy trying to repair the damage, depleting it's energy, robbing the healthy portion of the rose the energy it needs to thrive. This will...	Rickbrins	9	409	Mar 11, 2017 by KT2015
	Reaching the end of the book... (Preview) I loved books as a kids- books became my teddy bears. I have noticed that i still have books around me, including my recovery books... ...when i first came upon the MIP groups the talisman I had was found in alanon Concept 4- participation is the key to harmony. i grew up close to an old gold mining town-...	DavidG	3	2408	Mar 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	online meetings (Preview) How do the online meetings work?	Shorty77	2	424	Mar 10, 2017 by Shorty77
	Expectations and the Disaster that follows .. (Preview) OK .. so I already know I don't feel good and engaging the ligress is the whole ohhhh today is not the day my friend. Let's just overly qualify and say not this week .. LOL! I'm having a difficult time with expectation and change .. LOL .. this is going to sound so funny this is literally how my brain works....	SerenityRUS	7	476	Mar 10, 2017 by Green Eyes
	What to expect over time (Preview) I would be grateful if some of you would share a very potted version of your journeys with me please. I am new to this and whilst I fully appreciate every journey is different, I would just like to have some idea of what I might expect. We are new to this - just realised at Christmas husband is alcoholic a...	Bettertomorrow	6	799	Mar 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/10/17 (Preview) Today's reading is another great one!! I'm going to start with the Reminder - I like it 'that much'.... Today's Reminder -- Wonderful things can happen today because I welcome the thrill of participating in my own life. Today's Quote from Helen Keller -- "Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run t...	Iamhere	8	528	Mar 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	Newbie (Preview) Hello, scared to go to my first meeting. Any tips?	Shorty77	10	475	Mar 10, 2017 by Enigmatic
	New to this (Preview) Hi all- I'm not sure how this works so I figured I'd reach out for some advice. I've tried an al-anon meeting once, but never a virtual one. My interest in them fluctuates with my brothers using. He's been an addict for 9 years, and after a three month sobriety streak he relapsed two days ago. I've be...	T-ray	2	3122	Mar 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	How do I connect with others at meetings? (Preview) I have been attending 2 meetings a week for a while now and wish I could make some friends in program. Sometimes I share at meetings and sometimes I just listen. I have tried sitting next to people and remembering their names. Some of them remember mine. I have gone up to people and said that their sha...	MovieGal	2	569	Mar 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/9/17 (Preview) Today's reading from Courage to Change discusses God's will vs. our will. The reading starts out by suggesting that when we feel our serenity slipping away while a war in waged within our minds, and loud voices are pushing one way or another - chances are good that we've gone into 'My Will Mode'. While...	Iamhere	6	370	Mar 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	The Next Rollercoaster (Preview) My AF emailed today to say that he and my step-mother are separating. I don't have all the details, but I knew something like this was coming. I don't know if the decision was mutual or otherwise. I have a lot of respect for my step-mother and I wouldn't blame her at all if she was just fed up with my father's...	Mikhail	3	544	Mar 9, 2017 by Mikhail
	Checking in (Preview) It's been awhile since I've posted. I'm trying to work my program every day. I'm learning alot about myself and also still have alot of questions. My AH has been sober and in recovery for about 3 months or so. We are both trying but have a very long way to go. One of the revelations about myself that I'm dea...	Ceelee	7	565	Mar 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	we're out (Preview) Ok weve done it we're out. Landed well, though the real works about to unfold. Keep us in your prayers and thoughts.	a4l	6	546	Mar 9, 2017 by _bunny_
	How to make amends to people who are dead (Preview) Sorry if that's a bit up front but I can't think of a better way to say it. In working the steps, I realize that at least 2 people that I need to apologize too have past. How do I or do even do I make amends? Thank you for any suggestion.	Ceelee	6	4187	Mar 9, 2017 by lookingup
	3/8/17 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (Preview) Today's page describes a place filled with discouragement, tormented and circular thoughts, apprehension and confusion. This is the place many of us lived in before we found the miracle of AlAnon. Today's Reminder: Every meeting we attend, page we read, and fellow member we share with takes us far...	Enigmatic	4	527	Mar 8, 2017 by Enigmatic
	Serenity and sanity (Preview) We're all here because our physical, emotional and spiritual well being has been affected by the alcoholism of someone close to us and by working the program we will find serenity and sanity...For me, I have found serenity and sanity, I know this because I'm in a peaceful state and I'm living in realit...	_bunny_	4	855	Mar 8, 2017 by Iamhere
	working on detachment-- but with love? (Preview) So I have been doing a lot of thinking about "detachment with love" I realized last week that I was practicing detachment before I knew the term, but it was more like "detachment with middle finger". I have set a boundary with my A that he can't "live here" until he is "sober". I put quotes bc I am not certai...	pumkin26	9	458	Mar 8, 2017 by Iamhere
	I'm reluctant to be intimate now that he's sober...again (Preview) We've been married 12 years, have 3 children, and he's been an alcoholic for the past 3.5 years. It all started with him being on workman's comp for 6 months, and then losing his job shortly after getting back to work. Then a length of unemployment, followed by a crappy low-paying non-consistent job...	WrenT	3	624	Mar 8, 2017 by milkwood
	Overdose, wake up call? (Preview) So this past week my stepson's half brother who is an addict and a friend of my AS, overdosed on Xanax and Fantanyl. After a huge scare of organ failure and heart damage he was sent to a hospital that specializes in heart issues. His organs were not failing but his heart did have damage to it. He was release...	Tannersmom	3	553	Mar 8, 2017 by serenity47
	What's going on w me? (Preview) For sure I need a meeting. I haven't posted for a long time. I am so glad that I figured out how to use the mobile app again. Anyhow I have been through some stuff. Now I have an inside cat. My outside cat died last year & since then we have had this cat that drives me bananas. He rules the roost sometimes. M...	Hoot Nanny	2	481	Mar 7, 2017 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.