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Typing out loud
(Preview)
When you know the person behind the disease, I am finding it is making my choices very difficult. Maybe it is also not allowing me to grow within my program.
Knowing I intelligence, the love this person has had for things that were important to them, he respect and gratitude shown for his employer the...
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Curlyblu
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3
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326
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Need to vent....
(Preview)
So far, I have been successfully (mostly) detaching; focusing on myself and the children and trying to celebrate the times my AH attends his AA meeting. As he is a non driver, I have given my evenings to ferrying him to and from various meetings. Tonight I just picked him up from his AA meeting and he i...
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Bettertomorrow
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9
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522
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Leaving is an option!
(Preview)
It isnt discussed much as an option especially to new people and I understand its because new people are deep in the disease and often haven't got the ration and clarity to make decisions that are right for them based on all the facts or reality. A lot of people get recovery and use the tools to stay with th...
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el-cee
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7
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582
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Courage to Change (C2C) 3/23/17
(Preview)
Today's reading shares about pain and suffering that results from this disease. For most of us, the disease has contributed to many dashed hopes, broken dreams and considerable pain. While we don't want to dwell on these events, we don't want to turn our back either. It is through the fellowship w...
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Iamhere
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5
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2628
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First Post - total newbie
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I'm finally posting on this board because I have had a lot of difficulty attending in-person meetings - I'm hoping to have more childcare by the summer but waiting is starting to feel crazy - I have a two year old, and my H is an alcoholic. My mother is a recovered alcoholic and she has been in...
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VickiR
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7
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445
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Newbie ish ..
(Preview)
I stumbled upon this group a year ago when I was struggling to get to face to face meetings and it's been a blessing. I don't often post, but i regularly read and just hearing 'program speak 'is invaluable . i thought I would officially say hi . Ive had some years of peace due to how severe the drinking of m...
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Faith40
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3
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307
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Awkward
(Preview)
My husband is in recovery - almost 8 months sober, but his situation was more complex. He was a hardcore binge drinker from age 15 - 24. He quit drinking cold turkey. He decided he'd like to drink again socially after almost 20 years, and started back up December of 2014, and he did great. He never dr...
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Funkified
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8
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542
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Struggling with knowing if Al-anon is for me
(Preview)
Hello my name is Heather and my husband is a newly recovering addict. I am the mama of two small children (hence my incredibly creative username) 2.5 year and 5 month old boys. My husband had a pill addition that he hid very well from me a year and it all came out right after the birth of our youngest son. We h...
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mamabear2
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16
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717
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2 weeks and 3 days
(Preview)
AS has been working for 2 weeks and 3 days as of today. Living one day at a time. At this point he doesn't have a choice about going to work. He is being dropped off by his dad and picked up by my dad. Just like a little kid going to school. No car, that was totaled last summer. But today is good, he is working and h...
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Tannersmom
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4
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467
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Being too 'sensitive'/taking things personally
(Preview)
Has anyone else struggled with this concept? QTIP.....that's one of our Al Anon slogans and the one I struggle with the most! So, yesterday, I finally passed my huge general securities licensing exam. After failing twice, I still hung in there and got an 80% yesterday. I was ecstatic. I was so rea...
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andromeda
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16
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2423
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3-22-17 Courage to Change
(Preview)
Today's reading considers how living around alcoholism can lead to gradual changes within ourselves, including ignoring or suppressing feelings. We can end up losing our sense of self and drifting somewhere between muted and numb, hoping, waiting, fading... We may more easily recognize where o...
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Enigmatic
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5
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522
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Being Easy on Me...
(Preview)
Yesterday I felt myself wallowing in self-pity and martyrdom. I was in an out of staying present and wallowing. In my truth it was ME that was struggling and although I had certain triggers from my A, it was more me- feeling sorry for myself. I was lucky enough to know a friend at my first F2F meeting and sh...
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pumkin26
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7
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541
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It has started again
(Preview)
God grant me the serenity to except the things I can not change The courage to change the the things I can And the wisdom to know the difference. My son is back in a terrible place. He can't cope with life on Life's terms so he has 3 choices....sobriety, prison or death.
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Cathyinaz
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17
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1526
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Well, I'm Back
(Preview)
Hello All! I am where I thought I would never be again. On the Merry-go-round. Again. Even though I have a lot of venting to do, this post will be some history. Six years ago I found out my H was a meth addict. Fun. The 3 years prior was so hellish, that I was planning on leaving him with my then 10 year-old son....
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PosiesandPuppies
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8
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554
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Daily readings
(Preview)
I had gotten away from my readings of ctc and odat last several days,gotten myself way off center.im not perfect and won't be in this life I'm striving each day.i get sidetracked with other things like I get caught up with freinds shopping what not. guess I got a one track mind on one thing ,as I'm been bra...
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lookingup
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3
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2291
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Resentment towards alcoholic parents
(Preview)
Hello everyone, I'm new to this board and so happy to have found you all.
Started practicing the 12 steps again, after about a 10 year hiatus. I thought I could do it all on my own and forgot about the 12 steps. This left me with 10 years of uncovered anger, rage, resentment towards both parents (who are a...
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Jubilantgirl
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6
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881
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Curious...what the signs/symptoms
(Preview)
Of someone trying to detox? My A is currently been out with a flu. He has medication for it....for some reason I started to wonder if his body was "trying" to detox. Yes I know he can not do it on his own. I'm just wondering because I know how much he normally drinks and hasn't had any in over a week. It has to be...
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Curlyblu
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16
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3121
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The Goldilocks Zone
(Preview)
So I'm back with My Him. I expect this information to be met with deathly silence. Also this post is mostly about him. Sorry. My mother came to see me the other day and I told her. She was surprisingly not discouraging. She said, well, he obviously loves you Melissa, but he's uncontrollable. But you love...
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MissM
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15
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652
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Hope for Today March 21
(Preview)
Good morning everyone-- Today's reading is about how powerful our attitude is and where it can take us. Many of us gravitate toward the familiar, which depending on our circumstances, may not always be the healthiest for us. Any of us that either grew up in an alcoholic family, married into one, or ha...
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yanksfan51
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5
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482
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Letting go of anger to start a new day
(Preview)
It is 3:15 am. I woke up and immediately started replaying scenes from a family gathering yesterday which made/make me so angry. So, I have been reciting the serenity prayer like a mantra along with steps 1-3. I know I can't carry this into tomorrow, as it will be a new day. AH's siblings were over yest...
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El
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8
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520
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Needing to vent.....might sound petty....still learning to deal
(Preview)
Frustrating! Living with an active A, is to, say the least, and polietly, frustrating. I try so hard to practice the pause, before I say things I normally would. Even when he is dry, I pause before I respond to something completely stupid he has said. Like last night, we had been having a decent conversa...
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Curlyblu
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10
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492
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3/20/17 Courage to Change
(Preview)
Today's reading focuses on the spiritual nature of our Higher Power (HP). We are encouraged to choose a HP of our own understanding, a god as we are familiar with or simply a program concept. What gives it power as a spiritual concept is our willingness to humbly acknowledge something greater and more...
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Enigmatic
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3
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444
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ODAT 3-19-2017
(Preview)
The ODA T reading for March 19 speaks about living one day at a time. It points out that Al-Anon is a 24 hour programso that by living in this manner we receive the comfort and assurance that we need in the moment and in the day and do not burden ourselves with the woes of the past or worries of the fut...
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hotrod
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3
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617
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Today I have hope
(Preview)
Today I am cleaning our house and preparing for my loves release from her 90 day program. I have hope and trust in both my HP and hers that she will return home in a much better state than when she left. I want great things for us both, I want that future that looked so bright years ago but seemed impossible on...
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Rickbrins
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5
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457
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Pink Cloud?
(Preview)
Ok, so I clearly have had far too much time to myself in that dangerous section of my mind.... I have been very happy, my AGF has been in her 90 day inpatient program and appears to be doing very well, Her release date is tentatively scheduled for Monday (More about that later) and I am thrilled that she...
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Rickbrins
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8
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2516
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Enough
(Preview)
This is my first time here. My husband is a high functioning alcoholic. He admits it but won't get help. We've been married almost 7 years and he's been this way for 4 1/2. We have two children and I try my hardest to keep them shielded but they're getting old enough to notice. I'm so fed up I don't know what t...
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Isthisreallife
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5
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502
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not really sure where to start
(Preview)
Greetings. Not really sure where to start. Husband of 19 years is an alcoholic. Hides it well, most of our friends don't have a clue....at least I don't think they do. Things have worsened as of late. We have 2 kids. I'm so tired of being "on guard" all the time and getting that sick-in-the-pit-of...
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laketime
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8
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540
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Talking to an A
(Preview)
About two hours ago, I had the most ridiculous , circular, and unproductive discussion with my A. There is no logic, reasoning, understanding, or progress. It's almost as though I am speaking to someone who doesn't know English. The good news is that I stayed calm, didn't fight, didn't walk away,...
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Lyne
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5
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494
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Powerless vs Helplessness
(Preview)
I had a big discussion in the past with a therapist who I truly adored .. he is a man in his 70's who speaks my language .. LOL .. he's very easy to love and he reminded me how easy I am to love .. even if I did try to wear a cactus suit from time to time. I miss our talks a great deal. He kept using the word helpless w...
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SerenityRUS
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6
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4064
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ODAT reading for 3-18-2017
(Preview)
The ODA T reading for March 18 speaks about how living with the disease of alcoholism our thinking truly becomes distorted and we learn to place the responsibility for our problems on the alcoholic and on others. In Al-Anon we are learning to look squarely at each difficulty not trying to blame it on ot...
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hotrod
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1
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415
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Intimacy issues!
(Preview)
Hi all. So the alcoholic in my life is sober about a week after a 5 week vodka binge. As always, it took him to death's door before he was able to stop, but that's not what this post is about, I have got that I am powerless over the drinking. I just want to share what's been going on for me since he sobered up. Thi...
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Sorcha
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9
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589
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Expectations are premeditated resentments
(Preview)
My reaction to disappointment is improving and im becoming better at recognising my distorted thought processes and being able to see my part. I do however need time to sit with it process it discuss it with my sponsor or another alanon person and tweek out the truth of it. If I dont get this time I can be c...
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el-cee
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8
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1295
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Courage to Change (C2C) 3/17/17
(Preview)
Good morning and happy St. Patrick's Day for those who celebrate! Today's reading starts by suggesting no problem lasts forever. No matter how it seems, this too shall pass. Difficult situations often bring out qualities we might not realize we have - courage, faith and need for help from others....
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Iamhere
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7
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345
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The Birthday Dinner that Wasn't
(Preview)
I made mention in the daily thread that today is my baby's birthday. He's now 23 years old. I had also mentioned that he was to come over for dinner. I did go about my day - meeting, grocery store, and then back home to cook. As it happens with us, I had a nudge most of last evening and a bit this morning abou...
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Iamhere
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23
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775
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Sponsor
(Preview)
Last night my AH asked me if I had a sponsor yet? I've only been to one face to face meeating. I did call a woman I had met at the meeting in regards to what meetings she finds good. Just cause he found his sponsor the first couple of week, doesn't mean I wil. Part of me is like what's it any of your business? He is...
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Shorty77
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4
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475
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Let it begin with me!
(Preview)
My entire life Ive clung to illusions that if I worked really hard, dreamed BIG, expected more of myself somehow I wouldnt end up like my family. For the last several years, my career and recovery have been my identity, not to mention the adversity Ive experienced in the midst, with the loss of the young...
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msjuliet
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3
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546
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Meetings
(Preview)
Good morning Everybody,Beautiful Day it is, Im been wondering if mip online meetings have changed places? Or maybe slowed down due to xyz. or I'm just been missing them altogether,I dunno,plz if someone can fill me in,thank you so much in advance. reaching out with plenty of hugs ,smiles,I Love you...
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lookingup
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2
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416
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Trial run, day 2
(Preview)
Today is the second day of getting out and actually doing over night trips for work. I know it is easier with her still in her 90 day inpatient program, but this is just a reminder that I can do this and I can enjoy it. When she gets out next week, I will have a couple of weeks before I will have to do this again...
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Rickbrins
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6
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455
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feeling powerless and unmanageable
(Preview)
So two days in a row. What struck me as I finally crawled out of my wallowing is that I think I am still sick, and I am definitely tired. So maybe that is why I've had two days of slipping right back to square 1. Tonight he wanted to see the boys (never me- yes it hurts, I am working on it) he comes over, plops down...
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pumkin26
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6
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2114
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Difficulties in detaching
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I've been married to an alcoholic for 6.5 years It started to become a problem about 5.5 years ago when I got pregnant and my husband started ramping up his drinking. I don't think I can adequately convey the feelings disappointment and horror of coming home with a 6 month old in tow, seein...
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T_Puppington
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9
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7138
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Today is not the day ..
(Preview)
I have to laugh at myself I am finally feeling back to normal which I don't know good thing or not .. lol. It means I'm a whole lot more ornerier which sometimes is good and not so good in moments where my inappropriate humor comes flying through .. if I didn't have my horribly warped humor I wouldn't have m...
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SerenityRUS
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2
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426
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This is an odd feeling....
(Preview)
My A is trying/pretending not to have drinks. It's been almost 2 weeks now, and there has been one time that I'm 99.9% sure he had drinks before he came home. At home he doesn't....there's nothing in the house....he drank it all when he went on his full drunk that lasted days.
I'm finding I don't know ho...
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Curlyblu
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17
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613
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Courage to Change (C2C) 3/16/17
(Preview)
Today's reading discusses how hard it can be to see our progress in recovery. For those of us who have operated with high expectations, it's even more difficult. When we expect our negative attitudes and unhealthy behaviors to change fast and completely, we are going to be disappointed - progress...
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Iamhere
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2
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907
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QUESTION FOR ALCOHOLICS
(Preview)
Hi all, I'm back posting again. My ABF is now 7 months into AA. For the most part I would say he is doing very well. You can see how AA is helping. However, he has had quite a few slips, especially in the last month or so. He does jump right back into the program the next day. He use to go every day, but I kind...
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Aerin
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11
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594
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back into the insanity I go
(Preview)
I am reeling right now. So instead of engaging and allowing my anger to bubble up and cause me to retaliate I am here, venting to you all. My AH has had the flu since the weekend. I posted earlier in the week, unsure if he was truly sick or not. I am still not sure. Might have had the flu, might actually be in wit...
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pumkin26
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9
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616
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3/15/17 Courage to Change
(Preview)
Today's page considers forgiveness...One member admitted seeing it before AlAnon as power, as a judgement passed down from a position of authority, a false display of grace intended to emphasize the other's wrong; publicly forgiving but never forgetting. A healthy perspective with the help of A...
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Enigmatic
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10
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493
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An eagle
(Preview)
I am so grateful that my HP sent me a bit of peace yesterday. It was a day of stress and drama. I prayed for his will; on my way home an eagle flew right over my car. Mind you I was in the city so sighting an eagle is very very rare. It flew low and I swear it looked at me . I was at peace, I knew right then an ther...
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Tannersmom
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4
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494
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Please help I'm so lost and confused
(Preview)
My husband of 4 years has been an alcoholic for over 2 years now. It's such a long story but after dropping out of an impatient program he is in an iop now. We fight...... He gets nasty...... Fight in front of the kids..... Is controlling and overbearing. I coddle the kids and my ways are always wrong. I cou...
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Bri58
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16
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503
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to child support or not to child support
(Preview)
I don't always agree with society on this one.
So, the kids and i remain safe and are doing our best to stay positive though the wordless anger hits me at times as we go through the system. It hits me and at the same time i mentally hit myself for being ungrateful. Lol.
So my thoughts initially were, proba...
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a4l
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5
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454
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He watered down my gin - so angry
(Preview)
I broke up with alcoholic boyfriend about a month ago but gave him another chance after he promised to get help. I went and picked him up after we decided to reconcile and he was in bad shape after a 3 day bender. I felt so worried for him. He showed signs of improvement but then failed to follow through wi...
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SaraLin
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13
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2272
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My A is being released tomomow
(Preview)
Some of you know that my ex-alcoholic boyfriend was very sick and had to go to a nursing home. He had hepatitis but the kind you can recover from. He also has cirrhosis of the liver. Anyhow, he had malnutrition from drinking and throwing up so much. That caused him to get Wernicke's encephalopathy. He...
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shrnp
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7
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537
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The alcoholic's plea
(Preview)
As some of you know my ex abf and I still talk, and yet I'm not really sure why (probably because I'm still in love with the man I fell in love with). Anyways, it's getting to the point with our relationship that I have no longer accepted his inappropriate verbally abusive ( you stupid "b"***, if you cared y...
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vvv
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7
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538
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My ex AH died in his sleep last week.
(Preview)
My ex of 25 yrs was found dead in his home with an almost empty half gal of whiskey by his side. An autopsy was not done and cause of death is going down as a heart attack. I am so confused by the rush of emotions I am feeling. Divorce is a sort of continuation. I always knew he was out there somewhere. Deat...
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Living Free
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10
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385
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Help with setback
(Preview)
My AH has been sober for about 4 months. I've been working my recovery hard. We talk a lot about our relationship and trust. I've never trusted him from day one. He is a compulsive liar. He lies about every and anything. So in order to stay in this marriage trust has to be addressed. Well he stole money from...
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Ceelee
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7
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540
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Prayers please
(Preview)
Just asking for prayers today; what a roller coaster this stupid disease is. Rough roads ahead and trying to take one day at a time.Thank you!Beth
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Tannersmom
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6
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1669
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Terms used: Qualifier, Codependent, and Enabler
(Preview)
I recently have started hearing the terms, "Qualifier," "Codependent," and "Enabler" in my Al-Anon meetings. Are those appropriate terms to be used in Al-Anon? I know that when I had counseling before I started attending Al-Anon, I heard those terms used all the time and even read literature tha...
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Connie Sue
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7
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9426
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Not sure if Alanon is for me
(Preview)
I am currently separated from my husband of 20+ yrs due to his alcoholism, drug use, emotional and mental abuse and two affairs. I know I have many issues as a result of being in an abusive/alcoholic marriage. I can now see that even though my soon to be ex and I have been separated for two years, many of t...
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Marie71
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15
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697
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Grant me the Serenity...
(Preview)
My AGF will be home from her program for the weekend and then in 10 days she will most likely be coming home for good. Right now I am fairly relaxed, although there have been a few triggers coming from family. I am very scared of how things will be when she gets out. She seems to be in a very good mental stat...
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Rickbrins
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9
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410
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AH in recovery
(Preview)
Last weekend my AH went with his sponsor and others to a convention. I asked him how it was? Said it was great, learned a lot, but now all he talks about is how our marriage maunt not last!! WTF! Anyone else have a partner in recovery and the marriage has lasted? We have been married for 17 years. I'm in this f...
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Shorty77
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7
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512
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different path
(Preview)
as usual, im in the dark as to why my HP leads me in one direction or another. Being nearly out of money,still umemployed, im moving into my boyfriend's house. what a very different direction then what i planned 1 and 1/2 yrs ago when i left XAH. Been going through a variety of emotions. on one hand, i have b...
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YARNCRAZY
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3
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403
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