When we change, the people affected by change typically start a campaign of "Change back!"  They feel very threatened by the changes.  Part of it is that their life will not be the way they like it, easy and predictable.  The other is that typically our changes point out the fact that they're an addict.  We distance ourselves because they're in the grip of their addict insanity, and they know that the addiction is behind our response.  They want everyone to walk around in a state of denial as great as theirs: "Everything is fine.  Really.  Just fine.  No problems at all."

That's the way I understand it, and what I've observed. And when they think something threatens their addiction (which also means threatening their denial, however distantly) they can go on the warpath.

If anything, he's just confirming how right you are to decide to keep your distance. But that doesn't make it easy to live through.

Some people say that cutting someone off completely just increases the intensity, and it's simpler just to withdraw and be cut off "in effect."  I don't know what the options are in your case.  It sounds as if he's escalating the intensity all right.  In most cases, when something else comes along or the novelty dies away, they lose interest.  I hope that will be true in your case.  Please take good care of yourself.  I hope you are getting to meetings, working with a sponsor, and the rest.  We all deserve as much support as we can get.  We're with you.

Remember there is no rationalizing insanity. There is no answer to your question. No one knows what makes another do what they do. He probably doesn't even know why.

I remember now to think, well what am I going to do about it? My experienc is,Don't answer, if he calls husbandor friends or text ignore, if it is him on a strange number, hang up, delete his texts not read.I do my best to ignore period if I separate myself from someone.

Sad it has to be this way. I hope you get some serenity! love,debilyn