The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been with my husband for 20 years and he has always been an alcholic,but has a very important job and makes great money.and has been able to keep this job through all his drinking.He has had 3 prior drunk drivings over the years but has always used his money and power to get out of them.So he has never been held accountable for his actions and continues to drink and drive.Saturday night(5 days ago)he was driving his motorcycle,extremely hammered at 3:30 in the afternoon on a busy highway going approximately 80mph he wiped out and broke his neck,back and several smaller bones and took off the top of his head(no helmet and wearing shorts and t-shirt)and not to mention all the road rash.He survived and is in bad condition,he isn't paralized.He will be getting a drunk driving when he recovers and I hope to hell that was his finall drink.
Only time will tell and only he will know if this was his "rock bottom". In the meantime, take care of yourself. I've just started to learn myself that I really can't control my AH and the dangerous situations he may put himself into because of it. But I can take back control of me and so can you. Please take the time to read the posts on here written my many wonderful people. It truly will help you stop putting all your energy into your AH and putting more strength and insight into your personal well-being. I've only been here for just over a week and everyone here have been so encouraging and supportive. WE are worth it!
As everyone keeps telling me "keep coming back, it works!"
So sorry, maybe this will be his wake up call..either way coming here and or face to face meetings of alanon groups will help YOU feel better..
My first meeting was all it took for me to know I was in the right place but I've heard try at least six before you make up your mind if it's for you (( assuming your not already in meetings which you may be))
I care and the other people on this board know some of your pain and care a great deal too. Please keep comming back ... this program works no matter what happens with the alcoholic it works for us and our families and those we love....
Sorry this happened, it sounds terrible. Like I told my husband once..HP got tired of tapping him on the shoulder and had to slap him upside his head to get his attention. I hope your husband recovers in all ways necessary. I hope you do too!
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
The disease of alcoholism is very cunning it makes us turn on the people we love and makes them turn on us and themselves. You do not say if you are attending meetings we do not give advice on this site or in Al anon as a whole we just share are experiences you can take what you like and leave the rest. This disease effects the whole family not just the drinker. Al anon is for your protection and healing not to get him well that is up to him I hope he finds AA one day but you really must try and keep your focus on you. Al anon has saved my sanity and I can actually laugh again today. I just hope you find a meeting and start getting yourself some help as we can not face this alone.
I am so very sorry that this has happened to you and your family. I understand as perhaps few others could exactly what it is like to have a husband hospitalized in such a mangled condition and then to sit there and look at them hour after hour day after day. The recovery period at home was not much more exciting. It took everything I had to help humpty dumpty get back together. You would think that would have gotten me back into alanon. It didnt. What got me back into alanon was the sadness and pain I had when I discovered they were drinking again but hiding it. That was my bottom. Alanon was the last house on the block for me. I had no other place to go. I knew I needed help.
Today I am grateful for that experience because it has changed me and my life tremendously. I have been in the program quite a few 24 hours and can see how it took something big in my life for me to change. My sponsor has always told me pain is the touchstone of all spiritual progress. I have found this to be true. What I have discovered is the beauty of living one day at a time, one moment at a time, and doing the next right thing so I can continue to live through the most difficult of times. Alanon is always here for me when I need it.
If you have not been to a face to face alanon meeting, I encourage you to go. I found it was so difficult to go through this alone. In the face to face rooms of alanon there are people in there that understand and have similar experiences to what you are going through. That was and is a great source of comfort to me to this day.
Please keep coming back. Use this board as a place to let all of the weight of the situation go. I carried and stuffed down deep inside the enormity of trying to keep it together, my husbands aftercare and my one year old son together and it was almost too much to bear. I was on the edge of sanity and I was miserable. I am so grateful that a sober member of AA recommended Alanon. That was a miracle for me in the most difficult of times.
oh dear.....thats bad, i guess you must be feeling at rock bottom with the disease too. we all know what its like and have all felt that despair. hope things improve for you xxxx
