My thoughts - one of our most challenging things, as Al-Anoners, is that we are often 'perfectionists' and/or want everything and everyone around us to just "flow"......  There is a country song about "sounds like life to me", and I think we tend to forget that - sometimes life flows really easily, sometimes it does not....  I think we do need to remember to "breathe", and allow ourselves good moments and bad, good days and bad..... 

Sounds to me like you are doing well - the roller coaster that you are going through with your AH isn't easy, and you are managing the best you can....  Sometimes, all we can really do is put one foot in front of the next, and carry on.... 

I am a big fan of affirmations, and think we need to apply them daily, for our own nourishment....

I did the best that I could, with what I knew at the time....

I am exactly where I need to be, in my recovery....

If I look at where I was a year ago, I am sooo much healthier today.....

 

There are three that I hope you can find very applicable to you today...

Hope that helps

Tom

The name of that book "Full Catastrophe Living" really speaks to me -- often it seems as if it really is a full catastrophe. 

The thing I've come to learn is that getting serenity and being healthier doesn't mean that we have control over the outside world.  People still back into us, things still spill, people are still addicts and dysfunctional and just plain grumpy.  If we've got some balance we see the good things in life too, but there are still plenty of things that go wrong and cause trouble. The part we have control over is the inside world -- how we interpret things and how we react.  I've tried to learn to say to myself, "Figures that that would happen."  Because life is complicated, it certainly figures that parts of it would go wrong all the time.  If nobody's killed or badly hurt, then it's a bonus.  I have a sign on my wall to remind me of this!  It says, "World War 2 was a catastrophe.  Your flat tire is not a catastrophe!"

Not that I mean to take light of difficult things -- I do hate it when people tell me, "Cheer up, it's not so bad!"  But just that our ability to process it and move ahead is key to our recovery. 

An accident is frightening, and if the woman involved was dysfunctional and put her fear on you by being angry and blaming, that just makes things more difficult.  First, thank goodness you weren't hurt!  I'm so glad for that.  But just the possibility is very, well, sobering.  Give yourself time to heal from this.  Even though it's not a "catastrophe" like World War 2, it's a genuinely upsetting event and I hope you can take extra good care of yourself.  It's no wonder if you need some time to get calm again after something like that.  Hugs.

Thanks for all the responses. I can actually take something from ALL of them. I do need to relax, realize life is life... Stuff happens. I am trying to be more grateful for all the little blessings I have. I think I am naive though to think that by being nice and supportive, I will get that back from everyone. That's what I did to the lady and she was still not nice back. So I took it personally Geez!! I think I was probably too nice. I actually am working hard on not being judgmental, and being more compassionate. So I am kind of like a pendulum swinging from one extreme to the other. I also think it scared me more than I realized. And then the whole drama of getting the claim filed and the car fixed and being out money upfront, for now is frustrating, but is really just an inconvenience. So, Im going to slow down, be good to me, and not feel like I have to necessarily make everyone else feel better about situations. Because when I do that, I fail to take care of me. Im learning. Thanks guys!