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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Thought I was doing ok
Post Info TOPIC: Thought I was doing ok
oldergal


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Thought I was doing ok
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Three months away from my A Son, it seems I was doing good, but he came over and visited and now I am back to where my head was before I asked him to leave. Apparently I am not working on my program enough. He came over and dumped all his problems on me. Although it was a give and take civilized conversation, I couldn't sleep for a couple of nights because the "disease" effected me. Funny I thought I was doing good, good wake up call for me. He did have some good news, he stopped drinking for 1 month and realized how stupid his girlfriend and friends around him look and act when they are drinking, he figured he must look the same way duh! But he is still in denial that he is an alcoholic.

Since his Dad and I divorced when he was 13 he has lots of questions and issues with that. His Dad more or less abandoned him physically and mentally. He acted out big time, was very hurt. Now my son is in his late 20's and is starting to have questions about his upbringing. It seems he has many years to catch up with and his emotional maturity level is not what it should be. Since I missed all those years nurturing him. I will impart some of my wisdom to him slowly and gently. He may not always be listening, but I think some will sink in, by the grace of God, and his HP. For the most part I think he has to parent himself now, like so many of us who are from dis-functional families. 

Working on my program has revealed to me that I have never really had any fun in my life...it was always so serious and depressed in my home when I was a kid. 

Thanks for listening, go to go now and think about what productive and fun thing I can do for myself today. 

Sincerely Oldergal  ........



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abbyal


~*Service Worker*~

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You are doing ok remember your human and it takes along time before our new attitudes are habitual  the old ones are still there and luckily you recognize that . As to your son and his questions alot of them probably for answers he will have to go to the sourse  * his dad * .  nice to see your gonna look for something fun for you to day .  enjoy



-- Edited by abbyal on Sunday 7th of August 2011 01:07:17 AM

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Pushka


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Hugs OG,

It really gets easier, be gentle with yourself. What did you DO today?? :) I hope whatever it was it was fun!!!

Hugs P :)

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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Debilyn


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You are doing ok! Of course it was upsetting to see your young son struggling. Or who knows maybe you just  miss him!

When my daughter visits then leaves I get upset just cuz I want her an sprout to live closer.

My son is sorta seeing his wife of ill repute, makes me sick. But he says he doesn't know what he is doing. He will know when he does. Just becuz I cannot stand her does not make me think I am not doing good. I don't like her behavior, but being his mother, she put him in a horrible situation in what she did.

Your son is so young, he is seeing things. That is great, maybe he will use again, maybe he won't but he is making some realizations. Who knows maybe he isn't A. Maybe he is but with few tendancies that might prevent him from staying on a program.

I learned sometimes I just have to remember to just love them. I miss my son, I want to see him more but he has a full life. I miss my daughter soooo much too.

I loved how you said you were going to find something nice for yourself! I do relate in an opposite way. I was happy as a kid, super active.

so now I know what I like to do. I was sitting making a big guinea environment. just lost in the creativity. I was thinking, I did this all the time as a kid. Here I am 58 and I still get lost in it, its fun. Has nothing to do with age. It's what I enjoy.

I hope you find some light happy times! love,debilyn

 



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lasthope


Veteran Member

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Oldergal I relate to not sleeping. I couldn't sleep two
nights ago and have a long road to recovery. Best wishes
that your son goes to AA whether he's an alcoholic or not.
It can only help him. Modeling healthy behavior can only
help him too so good for you that you're taking care of
yourself. Maybe he would go if you offer to go with him
to his first meeting.

Debilyn I have to ask! What is a big guinea environment???
You make it sound like so much fun that I want to do it
and I don't even know what it is!

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