The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I finally went to a face to face meeting today. I was sick at my stomach over anxiousness this morning but did it anyway and it was such a good experience. I shared how I needed help dealing with anxiety and the need to control others and even said "it's not my husband - it's me". I was shocked I said that. I think I knew it deep down, but blaming him has kept me from having to do the work and now I have to face it and do the work. I told them I needed someone to call when I am about to do something that is destructive and they were so sweet to pass around a packet of information and even put their names and phones numbers on it for me. That information is priceless to me and made me feel so welcome. I will be going back .
I know if I have to tell my husband, he won't like it, but hopefully in time he will see the progress I am making and see it's value.
That is just awesome :) I am so glad you went and then shared here how great it is at meetings! Keep coming! And keep sharing your growth, it helps us too :) HUGS!
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-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
Yay for going to a f2f meeting! I just started going myself, and I can already tell what a difference it is making in my life. This anxiety and need to control that you speak of....well, I am the exact same way. It is funny to realize that we have just as much to work on as the A in our life does. HUGE wake-up call for me when during the f2f meeting they say we are not here for the A we are here for ourselves. It is making so much sense tho!
Awesome Aloha OG...Great move. This program works when we work it and it works best when we work it together. My elder sponsor told me that I would never know if the program worked until I gave it away to someone else and watched it work with them. So right on and now...the program has done it's part after you did your part and we continue. Happy and Grateful you brought that back here so we can practice it also.
Your experiences sound similar to mine. My stomach was in knots for the first several meetings AND it does diminish over time. Yep, my husband was not thrilled that I go to meetings. He was even annoyed that I shared with a counselor some of the more intimate difficult details of our lives. I struggled to share those things at first. I am discoverying that the longer I don't talk, the bigger the problems become. Talking about the problems not only helps you learn from others, it also helps reduce the size of the elephant in the living room.
Awww .. OG .. HUGS!! I'm sooo glad you went, keep going back it's an amazing experience!! :)
Hugs again, P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Wonderful stuff... There are a few exceptions, but the vast majority - despite all the fear and anxiousness about our first Al-Anon meeting - quickly come to realize that they really ARE wonderful things, and end up being something we don't want to give up....
thanks for sharing
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Thanks for the responses. I mostly listened yesterday, and just introduced myself. But I learned so much from others, and of course, an opportunity to use it came up almost immediately. AH was accusing and degrading me again last night and I just ignored it and tried to remain calm. I didn't sleep well, but was able to respond calmly this morning with my boundaries. I am hoping to get stronger each day because I feel like I really can't continue this pattern. Each time there is a confrontation, I don't sleep well and feel like crap the next day. I am getting too old for it.
