The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I guess that got his attention, but moreover, it got mine. Hated the person I have become when I was shouting at him yesterday morning - anything I say creates shame, guilt, etc. so why bother? This is my 3rd relationship. I feel sick. I have been so stupid. I "fix" things all of the time, except of course, myself. I always want everyone happy and to have everything they need. I need to chart another course and just go for my goals. I have a big test for a course coming up 3rd wk of Aug and I'm going to pass with flying colors and be undeterred by issues which are not of my making or concern. I have some other goals to achieve this year too and I am not afraid anymore of being on my own. I am tired of threats, anger, angst and indecision. I basically have said, three strikes and I'm out. I'm going to remain positive about what I can do for me and positive about how my actions and reactions will impact the relationship. No more picking him up off the front lawn or dealing with anger tirades. I'm keeping my perspective, detaching, relaxing about it all rather than developing the game plan. I can develop a game plan for a business or charity and really feel good about it. Happy to write to get it into perspective and out of my system.
It really sounds as if you have taken stock of the situation and come to some really positive , constructive solutions. That is great!! We who live or have lived with the disease of alcoholism become affected by the disease big time and need a program of recovery so as to be able to Take care of Ourselves and keep the Focus on our lives
I would like to suggest you add Attending alanon face to face meetings to your new tools so as to obtain the support and understanding you need.
Awareness is 1/2 the battle. :) There are such wonderful supportive people on the boards, between this and f2f meetings it makes all the difference in the world for me living each day to its fullest.
You are so worth the work and effort, I hope you keep coming back :)
Hugs again P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Hi and welcome here! You are no longer alone!! :) I hope you find an alanon meeting for yourself, keep going for at least 6 meetings in a row and start reading here, read the literature from alanon and the book Getting Them Sober. Alanon is for you to feel better and get recovery from being addicted to alcoholics and addicts. Great job reaching out here! Keep coming!
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-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
A trainwreck and an alcoholic-I love it! That's my life too, watching a spouse destroy themself. I do not have to be destroyed too. In fact, I'm planning to survive rather well. Best, Lyne