I haven't posted much on the topic of my A brother, primarily because he has been out of state, and my family has been able to completely detach from him.  When he left here 9 years ago, he was an attractive, functioning husband, and a really good dad to five kids. Suffice to say, he just recently got out of jail for failure to pay child support, no longer has a relationship with his kids, has nothing, is crazy as can be, and last but not least, is back in town.  AAHHHHHHH!

So when my bro got out of jail, he decided to do a geographical.  He asked my mom and an aunt if he could live there, and they both said no. Then he called me, and you know what, there was never any other answer for me than saying, "no".  As he went round and round about how he was falsely accused, blah, blah, blah, I was able to repeatedly say, "I love you", and "I can't have that in my life". Thank you al-anon!

Unfortunately, a cousin (the son of the aunt who said no) whom was always my bro's best friend, and has no experience with Aism/addicition, decided that my bro could live with him.  And he actually called my bro to extend the invite!  The thing is, he remembers how my bro was 9 years ago.  I talked to my cousin twice in an attempt to educate and give fair warning, as well as make the support of AA and Al-anon be known. The thing is, he loves my bro so much and was so unknowing about the devastating effects of the disease, that he could not hear me.  I told him of some things he had done and my recent conversation with him.  My cousin just kept defending him. He was convinced it was the pills that were the problem and not the alcohol.His mind was made up that he was going to invite him into his home. He said he would go through his bags and take all the pills, he would have no label, and because he knows my bro so well, he was going to try to talk to him and convince him he needed help, if indeed he really did. He would keep what me and others said in the back of his mind, but every situation is different and he knew what he was going to do.  Alright?! then. Friends, can you just see where this is going?  Keep on reading, cause it is so classic....

So my cousin is having a party for his sister in their beautiful, clean home Sun.  He extended the invite to my bro to come stay with him, but upon insistance of my aunt made sure to tell my bro not to come until Sun. night after the party. I don't think he even talked to my bro until Tues, and do you know that the guy posted a note on Craigs List , found a couple of guys who wanted to drive here, and by Fri afternoon he was in my cousin's house?!  He let himself in, dropped piles of dirty stinky laundry, prepared and ate food that was for the party, cut directly on an expensive surface in the kitchen leaving nicks, drank a gift bottle of $150 wine.... and that is all I know about. My cousin got a call at work by his teen daughter saying there was a strange truck in the yard, someone had been in the 5th wheel,  and someone was eating their party food and messing up the house.  I kid you not! Oh, and of couse this happened after the housekeeper had come.   And this was just within a couple of hours of him getting there.  By evening, my cousin had sent his wife and girls to his mom's, and called my other bro, a police officer, to ask if he would help get him do something with him sometime this week!  My mom called me and said my bro had gone off the deep end.  I said, no, he is being who is being who he has been for quite a while, a drunk/addict, its just that he is here now.

It is almost comical and definately sad.  And to say,"I told you so" would be uncalled for, but it sits on the tip of my tongue because my cousin got pretty indignant with me a few times.   However, I gotta say, I had no idea it would be that bad.  I am not mad at my cousin because he truly came from a place of love and devotion, however he brought my bro back to our state and now my family has to deal wth him!

The party is tomorrow.  I have no idea what it will hold.  I do know that I do not want to discuss it with everyone when we are there.   My bro is not supposed to be there, but obviously that holds no promise. I grabbed a bunch of al-anon schedules and will have them with me. The good thing, I guess, is that my bro has family and a number of very good high school friends here.  He pretty much ran out of support where he was. The way I see it, is that here he may be less likely to die.  My family seems commited to not helping him in any type of survival way, and if his friends choose to I can just wish them luck.

Blessings,

Lou