The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been attending Al-Anon meetings for 1 year. I am working on Step 1 with a sponsor.
I have never lived with active alcoholics.
I come from a dysfunctional family, but alcohol/drugs were not at play in this generation. My mother is a rageaholic (my opinion, not hers) and she come from a long line of alcoholics, none of whom I ever met.
Thus I see it as - we have the habits/symptoms - rage, depression/suicide, blame, codependency, etc. but without the drinking in this current generation.
I love going to Al-Anon. It has helped and continues to help so much. Boy do I handle my mother better now.
Still, I feel guilty going to Al-Anon- like I have no right to be there, not having had the direct aloholism experience.
I also have a boyfriend who is a recovering alcoholic, 20 years sober. I have known him only a short time, thus I do not have a direct experience of him drinking either.
Is it okay if I attend the meetings? In the experience of others of you out there who have or do directly lived with alcoholism?
And if yes, is there a way that I can be helpful someday to someone as a sponsor?
Something I really believe is that alcoholism affects the next 2 - 3 generations (it might be more, however there is a def history after the initial addiction) of family after. So just because there is no drinking doesn't mean the behavior isn't there. I come from a long line of control freaks. I don't know if there was alcoholism, there was def oppressive control issues with my Grandma. She wasn't a bad person however she was very damaged. My mother then had the same behaviors, she chose for her 2nd husband an alcoholic/drug addict. I have made similar choices.
I would say based upon your history why shouldn't you be able to go to alanon? Your family was affected even if the alcohol wasn't in the house doesn't mean the behavior was or is not there.
Just my two cents, P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Yes you are good...and from my experience the simple answer to your question is Yes!!
There are longer answers available and more justifications as to why than you can shake a stick at.
"Alcoholism affects everyone it comes into contact with and it crosses generational lines. Since it affects everyone it comes into contact with those who affect others maynot have an actual association with liquor but like you an association with someone who has also be affected." The planet has lived under the pressure and affect of alcoholism for thousands of years. We cannot not be affected.
It is great that you are working the program. Continue to advance in your recovery and you will become one of the foundation stones in other people lives who reach out for help because they too have been affected. Grateful for your participation and your ESH. ((((hugs))))
-- Edited by Jerry F on Friday 29th of July 2011 04:05:40 PM
sounds like you are in the right place to me you are in a relationship with a alcoholic they are only ever sober one day at a time and just because they are not drinking do not mean all there behaviors change for the better over night. I never grew up in an alcoholic environment but have identified through al anon that my grandfather was a problem drinker and my mother is a controller therefore I have chosen adicts as partners.
:) I like your name. I think you're absolutely in the right place and it seems perfectly appropriate for you to attend Alanon. You've been affected by someone's drinking. All of us have been affected in different ways, some more direct than others, but there are often profound effects for multiple generations. I know that's the case in my family, multiple generations. Alanon has given me so much insight and I am feeling SO much better after just a few months. It sounds like you are finding healing this way, so what could be wrong with that? I also think it's very possible that you can be helpful someday as a sponsor.
Yep you are in the right place ! Addiction is a family disease and affects everyone it comes in contact with. Your mom didn't drink but may have come from a family who did, which sqewed her thought process, decisions making and coping skills and passed them on to you. Pull up a chair, we've got lots a room for you ! Blessings
"The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend."
Just from reading your post, I think you meet that requirement. So, keep enjoying the meetings and working with that sponsor. We are so glad you are getting so much from the program.
In terms of sponsorship, you certainly can. The key for me is that I learned how to sponsor by being sponsored and working the steps with my face to face sponsor. That way I was able to pass on the program exactly as it was given to me.
