Ive been in Alanon for about 10 years and Ive learned a lot. Well, my husband just had a relapse and my son is in jail going to prison soon. My younger son is graduating. I feel completely like Im in a daze. I didnt expect my husband to relapse and he also is so moody. I am so focused on everyone wise and it feels like I totally forgot who I am again. Im trying to use my tools, but struggling. Im practicing my boundaries which is helping. But Im so shocked at how I feel like Im right back at step 1. Anyone have any experience, strength and hope?

What I can offer is something my sponsor taught me: don't have expectations. It's really hard to do but I have been practicing for quite a while now. My spouse is in early recovery after many horrible years. I cannot let myself think that a relapse will never happen. A relapse is quite possible, and what will I do? I will continue in alanon with the focus on me. The only person I can control is myself, and that's on a good day. :)