Long story short got into a relationship with a woman this year who had not only major addiction issues but many other mental health issues. It has been truly toxic and after a year of enabling her behavior in many ways (buying alcohol, being her personal taxi when she called, paying for moving costs, etc..) I have truly had enough of this person and how they just continue to live through this cycle with no end in site.
It came to a point last weekend where she again was doing her same addictive behavior and I finally acknowledged the deep seeded hatred she was carrying for me this entire year. She tries to paint me as an abuser and controlling when I have been anything but that. So with that I had enough and told her we needed to part ways. She had moved back in with me yet again after her umpteenth hospital stay and stopped taking her medication. So then she started to get really dark and mention suicidal thoughts over and over. I finally was able to get her to check into a hospital last TUE and have not heard from her since, nor have I wanted to reach out.
I guess the question is what's next? Should I just continue this radio silence and let her go through her rehab program and wait for her to reach out. Or should I at some point put in a call with the hospital and leave a message for her to call me so we can discuss her next step in life when she leaves there which needs to be getting her stuff out and finding a new living situation. At this point I feel we need to get out of each others lives because I am tired of trying and being painted as a monster. I'd also say without me being there to enable maybe she gets her shit together but I highly doubt it and at this point it's not really my concern. My own mental health and well being are now my top priority.
Lyne said
Dec 12, 2023
Hello NR. I think alanon can help you with your own recovery from the experiences you have had with your relationship. Unfortunately this site will be canceled at the end of Dec., so I'm told. There are meetings in person, online, and on phone. Your situation sounds difficult. I'm trying a new message board on reddit for alanon. It's not MIP but it's better than nothing. Best of luck to you. With some patience and practice of alanon, you will surely figure out what you want to do. :)
tiredtonite said
Jan 2, 2024
Welcome back NewRomantics. Sorry you are going through this but does sound like you are having some Step 1 awarenesses and prioritizing your own health and well being. If you read your prior posts, you may see your progress now. I hope the Al-anon meeting you found has been a good one for you. ((hugs)) TT
Long story short got into a relationship with a woman this year who had not only major addiction issues but many other mental health issues. It has been truly toxic and after a year of enabling her behavior in many ways (buying alcohol, being her personal taxi when she called, paying for moving costs, etc..) I have truly had enough of this person and how they just continue to live through this cycle with no end in site.
It came to a point last weekend where she again was doing her same addictive behavior and I finally acknowledged the deep seeded hatred she was carrying for me this entire year. She tries to paint me as an abuser and controlling when I have been anything but that. So with that I had enough and told her we needed to part ways. She had moved back in with me yet again after her umpteenth hospital stay and stopped taking her medication. So then she started to get really dark and mention suicidal thoughts over and over. I finally was able to get her to check into a hospital last TUE and have not heard from her since, nor have I wanted to reach out.
I guess the question is what's next? Should I just continue this radio silence and let her go through her rehab program and wait for her to reach out. Or should I at some point put in a call with the hospital and leave a message for her to call me so we can discuss her next step in life when she leaves there which needs to be getting her stuff out and finding a new living situation. At this point I feel we need to get out of each others lives because I am tired of trying and being painted as a monster. I'd also say without me being there to enable maybe she gets her shit together but I highly doubt it and at this point it's not really my concern. My own mental health and well being are now my top priority.
Welcome back NewRomantics. Sorry you are going through this but does sound like you are having some Step 1 awarenesses and prioritizing your own health and well being. If you read your prior posts, you may see your progress now. I hope the Al-anon meeting you found has been a good one for you. ((hugs)) TT