Today's Courage to Change reading is about the topic of Anger. It uses a story of someone who describes themself as a gentle and easy going person but flies into a rage at their innocent pet dog who gets tangled in a cord in the home. The person's temper flares and they yell angry words at their pet. The dog shows bewilderment and hurt when met with this non typical response from it's owner. The writer goes on to say that their pet's expression was the catalyst for change. They realize that if their pet can have such a response how might their anger might be received by people who can actually understand the angry words that they are saying.
They realize that they need to find healthy outlets for their anger rather than destructive ones such as screaming, sulking in silencing or lashing out with cruel words.
The quote is from The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage
We can pave our way for calm, reasonable communication only if we first find ways to healthy outlets for our own negative feelings.
In looking at the examples given of destructive ways to handle feelings of anger, I can think of a few things that have helped me. Although I will be the first to admit that I still have trouble with reacting rather than responding at times. One thing that has helped me is to physically walk away to regain my sanity and serenity. I might call a sponsor or trusted friend to share, post here. I can pray it, ask my hp for help with balancing my emotions. I can go to an Al-Anon meeting to gain perspective. I can forgive myself but make a commitment to myself to use slogans like How Important Is It, THINK or Easy Does It the next time I feel I need to channel angry feelings. I can recite The Serenity Prayer to myself when feeling an urge to react inappropriately rather than respond in a healthy way to another.
Am I always successful? Far from it! But at least I know their are tools available to me that might help me to release feelings of anger in a way that does not injure myself or others. It's about making progress. I've heard in Al-Anon that feelings are neither good nor bad they are simply feelings. My progress is in keeping my feelings appropriate to the given situation. Sometimes my anger is appropriate but my desire is to express it a sane manner. My aim is always to maintain my sanity and serenity. I may feel a sense of relief initially from acting out anger rather than doing the inside job of working through anger feelings but the cost is great to my physical, emotional and spiritual well being and perhaps that of others. I continue to make progress with being mindful of choices when expressing my anger and how it might affect myself and others
Lyne said
Aug 24, 2023
Thanks TT for your service and enlightening share. I find many of our slogans very helpful when I feel anger rattling my serenity. The ones mentioned above are all a go to place for me. I also use live and let live, let go and let God, ODAT, etc. I can't ever be perfect at anything, but I do give myself credit when I see progress [not perfection :)].
Today's Courage to Change reading is about the topic of Anger. It uses a story of someone who describes themself as a gentle and easy going person but flies into a rage at their innocent pet dog who gets tangled in a cord in the home. The person's temper flares and they yell angry words at their pet. The dog shows bewilderment and hurt when met with this non typical response from it's owner. The writer goes on to say that their pet's expression was the catalyst for change. They realize that if their pet can have such a response how might their anger might be received by people who can actually understand the angry words that they are saying.
They realize that they need to find healthy outlets for their anger rather than destructive ones such as screaming, sulking in silencing or lashing out with cruel words.
The quote is from The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage
We can pave our way for calm, reasonable communication only if we first find ways to healthy outlets for our own negative feelings.
In looking at the examples given of destructive ways to handle feelings of anger, I can think of a few things that have helped me. Although I will be the first to admit that I still have trouble with reacting rather than responding at times. One thing that has helped me is to physically walk away to regain my sanity and serenity. I might call a sponsor or trusted friend to share, post here. I can pray it, ask my hp for help with balancing my emotions. I can go to an Al-Anon meeting to gain perspective. I can forgive myself but make a commitment to myself to use slogans like How Important Is It, THINK or Easy Does It the next time I feel I need to channel angry feelings. I can recite The Serenity Prayer to myself when feeling an urge to react inappropriately rather than respond in a healthy way to another.
Am I always successful? Far from it! But at least I know their are tools available to me that might help me to release feelings of anger in a way that does not injure myself or others. It's about making progress. I've heard in Al-Anon that feelings are neither good nor bad they are simply feelings. My progress is in keeping my feelings appropriate to the given situation. Sometimes my anger is appropriate but my desire is to express it a sane manner. My aim is always to maintain my sanity and serenity. I may feel a sense of relief initially from acting out anger rather than doing the inside job of working through anger feelings but the cost is great to my physical, emotional and spiritual well being and perhaps that of others. I continue to make progress with being mindful of choices when expressing my anger and how it might affect myself and others