Todays reading is a look at resentments and the role they can play in our lives. The page opens with a quotation from Courage to Change: Resentments mark the places where I see myself as a victim. The writer describes how resentments drained so much energy and created bitterness in his/her life. The writer began to work on the steps and started to question the presence of resentments: what do I get out of feeling like a victim. The writer began to realize that in a sense the resentments acted as a defense mechanism- keeping people away that the writer felt had hurt him/her. The writer also acknowledged that there was comfort in the feeing of resentment, it was familiar. Once the writer saw this he/she felt open to change and worked on healthier ways to speak up when feeling hurt.
For me, harboring resentments is not only unhealthy, but another indirect way to deal with things (or not deal with things). If I feel unable to pinpoint something specific that is bothering me, its much easier to submit to feeling resentful. Its a negative energy that feeds on itself. This reminds me of a time that my sponsor pointed out that there are times that our character defects are useful to us (without other tools, sarcasm and resentful feelings are means of protection) but as we get stronger and healthier they are no longer needed (speaking plainly and directly, understanding what we are able to change and what we cannot change is a clearer path).
the Thought for the Day offers: Do I have a character defect I use to protect myself? Do I need it anymore?
I hope everyone enjoys a peaceful Sunday:)
Mary
DM2021 said
Jul 23, 2023
Thank you so much Mary for your service and to you and TT for the wonderful ESH.
I simply have nothing to add because I am in agreement with you both, that Al-Anon has taught me that
resentment = my stubborn egotistical inability to realize what I can not change something that is outside
of my realm; humbly asking for HP's help and speaking kindly and fairly when appropriate if I feel wronged,
are my best practices learned from Al-Anon. Grateful always for the serenity and lessons.
Good morning everyone:
Todays reading is a look at resentments and the role they can play in our lives. The page opens with a quotation from Courage to Change: Resentments mark the places where I see myself as a victim. The writer describes how resentments drained so much energy and created bitterness in his/her life. The writer began to work on the steps and started to question the presence of resentments: what do I get out of feeling like a victim. The writer began to realize that in a sense the resentments acted as a defense mechanism- keeping people away that the writer felt had hurt him/her. The writer also acknowledged that there was comfort in the feeing of resentment, it was familiar. Once the writer saw this he/she felt open to change and worked on healthier ways to speak up when feeling hurt.
For me, harboring resentments is not only unhealthy, but another indirect way to deal with things (or not deal with things). If I feel unable to pinpoint something specific that is bothering me, its much easier to submit to feeling resentful. Its a negative energy that feeds on itself. This reminds me of a time that my sponsor pointed out that there are times that our character defects are useful to us (without other tools, sarcasm and resentful feelings are means of protection) but as we get stronger and healthier they are no longer needed (speaking plainly and directly, understanding what we are able to change and what we cannot change is a clearer path).
the Thought for the Day offers: Do I have a character defect I use to protect myself? Do I need it anymore?
I hope everyone enjoys a peaceful Sunday:)
Mary
I simply have nothing to add because I am in agreement with you both, that Al-Anon has taught me that
resentment = my stubborn egotistical inability to realize what I can not change something that is outside
of my realm; humbly asking for HP's help and speaking kindly and fairly when appropriate if I feel wronged,
are my best practices learned from Al-Anon. Grateful always for the serenity and lessons.