Todays reading has no "reminder" or "quote" it is basically a culmination of my previous post on working Step 4
that I posted last Friday. It is a list of outcomes that should help the participant doing the 4th Step check on
whether they are working the Step to the best possible outcome for themselves.
While working step 4 are we seeing that we are:
1.Having the courage to live one day at a time.
2.Recognizing that I always have choices, and taking responsibility for the ones I make.
3.Acknowledging that my needs are my responsibility.
4.Asking for help when I need it and acting on my own when I don't.
5.Accepting love from others, even if I am having a tough time loving myself.
6.Knowing myself.
7.Recognizing my shortcomings and my strengths.
8.Forgiving myself and others.
9.Admitting when I am wrong and making amends.
10. Seeing that life is a blessing.
11. Having an opinion without insisting that others share it.
12. Caring for people without having to take care of them.
13. Accepting, I'll never be finished--I'll always be a work in progress.
Step 4 is a fearless ability to check on our own maturity and found this quote that will help give a clearer picture
of what the goal is in doing the Step 4 inventory:
"Maturity is the ability to think, speak and act your feelings within the bounds of dignity." "The measure of your
maturity is how spiritual you become during the midst of your frustrations." ~ Samuel Ullman
I do make dignity a priority because it is the basis for my serenity.Living with the alcoholic and their ability to
create chaos from the most minor of issues, my ability to maintain my dignity is very important.Step 4 has
helped me so much!!
# 8 - Forgiving myself and others is always a work in process.
What is most easy or most difficult of the 13 outcomes do you find yourself a work in progress?
TGIF MIP Family!!{{HUGS}}
-- Edited by DM2021 on Thursday 2nd of March 2023 08:01:21 PM
Lyne said
Mar 3, 2023
Thanks Debbie for this wonderful share about Step 4. One of the most helpful things to me is #11: I am entitled to my own opinion but cannot insist others to share it. This concept was very difficult for me for many years. And often I was afraid to have my own "self" because others would disagree or shame me. Now I don't care if people like my opinion or not. With dignity I can be me and you can be you. :)
SunnyFrog said
Mar 4, 2023
Good morning
I haven't worked the 4th step yet but 2 in that list really stuck out for me
#Recognizing that I always have choices and taking responsibility for the ones I make. Although it's a no-brainer that I always have choices sometimes I have/and still do convince myself that I don't and that I am at the mercy of others. It's just old programming from the past though and something I need to work on. Or maybe it's just not having the confidence in making my own choices. Hmm...something definitely to explore.
#Accepting love from others even if I am having a tough time loving myself. I have a hard time accepting love from others period. I tend to be a closed off person that is afraid to risk allowing myself to be loved in fear of being hurt. I was doing pretty good at allowing myself to be vulnerable but all that kinda went out the window this past year and I know I need to open up and allow others in again.
Enigmatic said
Mar 5, 2023
Thank you very much Dm, and all above; great page for a single page review.
For me, #2 is empowering, #11 is a needed reminder for a daily perspective check...stay in your circle, Paul! lol
Great reminders, good to hear how it is useful and being used by others
Todays reading has no "reminder" or "quote" it is basically a culmination of my previous post on working Step 4
that I posted last Friday. It is a list of outcomes that should help the participant doing the 4th Step check on
whether they are working the Step to the best possible outcome for themselves.
While working step 4 are we seeing that we are:
1. Having the courage to live one day at a time.
2. Recognizing that I always have choices, and taking responsibility for the ones I make.
3. Acknowledging that my needs are my responsibility.
4. Asking for help when I need it and acting on my own when I don't.
5. Accepting love from others, even if I am having a tough time loving myself.
6. Knowing myself.
7. Recognizing my shortcomings and my strengths.
8. Forgiving myself and others.
9. Admitting when I am wrong and making amends.
10. Seeing that life is a blessing.
11. Having an opinion without insisting that others share it.
12. Caring for people without having to take care of them.
13. Accepting, I'll never be finished--I'll always be a work in progress.
Step 4 is a fearless ability to check on our own maturity and found this quote that will help give a clearer picture
of what the goal is in doing the Step 4 inventory:
"Maturity is the ability to think, speak and act your feelings within the bounds of dignity." "The measure of your
maturity is how spiritual you become during the midst of your frustrations." ~ Samuel Ullman
I do make dignity a priority because it is the basis for my serenity. Living with the alcoholic and their ability to
create chaos from the most minor of issues, my ability to maintain my dignity is very important. Step 4 has
helped me so much!!
# 8 - Forgiving myself and others is always a work in process.
What is most easy or most difficult of the 13 outcomes do you find yourself a work in progress?
TGIF MIP Family!! {{HUGS}}
-- Edited by DM2021 on Thursday 2nd of March 2023 08:01:21 PM
I haven't worked the 4th step yet but 2 in that list really stuck out for me
#Recognizing that I always have choices and taking responsibility for the ones I make. Although it's a no-brainer that I always have choices sometimes I have/and still do convince myself that I don't and that I am at the mercy of others. It's just old programming from the past though and something I need to work on. Or maybe it's just not having the confidence in making my own choices. Hmm...something definitely to explore.
#Accepting love from others even if I am having a tough time loving myself. I have a hard time accepting love from others period. I tend to be a closed off person that is afraid to risk allowing myself to be loved in fear of being hurt. I was doing pretty good at allowing myself to be vulnerable but all that kinda went out the window this past year and I know I need to open up and allow others in again.
For me, #2 is empowering, #11 is a needed reminder for a daily perspective check...stay in your circle, Paul! lol
Great reminders, good to hear how it is useful and being used by others