The topic of todays reading has to do with Tradition Eleven, which is an Al-Anon policy that describes how
"attraction rather than promotion" to Al-Anon by the membership is its best policy. How we approach
and/or tell other folks about our participation and why, is best done with the question to ourselves first Was I asked?
The author discusses how if they are "walking the talk and not demonstrating recovery that talking the talk may be
nothing more than a substitute for living it." They felt that "urging others to attend Al-Anon meetings" maybe a sign
that they "most needed the meeting themselves".
Reminder: "Before I start telling people about Al-Anon, I might consider posing this question to myself": "Did they ask?
Quote: "Example is not the main thing in influencing others." "It is the only thing." ~ Albert Schweitzer
Since I have been a member of Al-Anon/MIP (8 or 9 years now) there have been, maybe a handful of times that I told
someone that I belonged to the Al-Anon.The only reason was because, during the course of a conversation with them
about how I was handling my life living with an alcoholic in respect to that persons issues, the question was asked by
them to me How did I come by the philosophy that I was imparting.There may have been one individual who actually
followed up with their local Al-Anon group, but I always tried to step aside when it came to actually promoting going to
an Al-Anon meeting directly because of the Eleventh Tradition.I never named my group or MIP in order to protect the
anonymity of the members of both.
I believe that everyone takes away something different from the teachings of Al-Anon, depending on their lifes circumstances
and experiences and that my feelings/views are my personal feelings and beliefs alone.The basic philosophies of Al-Anon are
represented in the Steps/Slogans/Concepts/Traditions but that Al-Anon teaches us that we take what applies to our own individual
lives and what is appropriate for me maybe not appropriate for others but that those Steps/Slogans/Concepts/Traditions are to
be our guides. I am very careful how I promote those personal teachings of Al-Anon to others as to not come off as some expert
because I am not!!J
TGIF MIP Family!!
Lyne said
Dec 9, 2022
Thanks Debbie for your topic and ESH. Probably a number of years ago I did make the suggestion 1x to my son that he try alanon. He certainly qualifies due to my A and his father. That is the one and only time he will hear that from me. I would say all people close to me know I attend alanon. But I never push it on anyone. Sometimes I say something like, I learned in alanon to always carry a QTIP, quit taking it personally, when I think it will help them to hear that. But that's as far as I go. If someone asks me to do something on a Tuesday night, I say I can't because I have my alanon meeting. I let people know of my involvement in subtle ways. I only talk about it otherwise if someone does ask, how does that help you? I like to spread my joy, but I have given up on trying to force solutions, thank God. I don't want people pressuring me about stuff, so I don't do it to them. Treat others as you want to be treated, is my motto.
Daffodils said
Dec 9, 2022
Thank you Debbie for your service and all the shares. It was the ESH of MIP members that kept me coming back. I was attracted because people we're freely giving of themselves-no manipulations, techniques, hidden agendas, strings attached. I felt seen and heard, and was given tools to get on with the business of living life fully...one day at a time. I am attracting good people in my life . For example I kept a neighbour at a distance for 5 years who tried to befriend me. Last summer while admiring her garden, I noticed her garden stone with the Serenity Prayer and we arrived at a new closeness without breaking anonymity. Anyways, I have to cut it short...on my way out...but you get the idea. :) Have a wonderful day.
DM2021 said
Dec 9, 2022
Thank you {{Lyne}} and {{Daffodils}} for both your ESH.
Always read a few passages from ODAT everyday and the one that I just read
equated Al-Anon to gentleness. Just love this program.
The topic of todays reading has to do with Tradition Eleven, which is an Al-Anon policy that describes how
"attraction rather than promotion" to Al-Anon by the membership is its best policy. How we approach
and/or tell other folks about our participation and why, is best done with the question to ourselves first Was I asked?
The author discusses how if they are "walking the talk and not demonstrating recovery that talking the talk may be
nothing more than a substitute for living it." They felt that "urging others to attend Al-Anon meetings" maybe a sign
that they "most needed the meeting themselves".
Reminder: "Before I start telling people about Al-Anon, I might consider posing this question to myself": "Did they ask?
Quote: "Example is not the main thing in influencing others." "It is the only thing." ~ Albert Schweitzer
Since I have been a member of Al-Anon/MIP (8 or 9 years now) there have been, maybe a handful of times that I told
someone that I belonged to the Al-Anon. The only reason was because, during the course of a conversation with them
about how I was handling my life living with an alcoholic in respect to that persons issues, the question was asked by
them to me How did I come by the philosophy that I was imparting. There may have been one individual who actually
followed up with their local Al-Anon group, but I always tried to step aside when it came to actually promoting going to
an Al-Anon meeting directly because of the Eleventh Tradition. I never named my group or MIP in order to protect the
anonymity of the members of both.
I believe that everyone takes away something different from the teachings of Al-Anon, depending on their lifes circumstances
and experiences and that my feelings/views are my personal feelings and beliefs alone. The basic philosophies of Al-Anon are
represented in the Steps/Slogans/Concepts/Traditions but that Al-Anon teaches us that we take what applies to our own individual
lives and what is appropriate for me maybe not appropriate for others but that those Steps/Slogans/Concepts/Traditions are to
be our guides. I am very careful how I promote those personal teachings of Al-Anon to others as to not come off as some expert
because I am not!! J
TGIF MIP Family!!
Always read a few passages from ODAT everyday and the one that I just read
equated Al-Anon to gentleness. Just love this program.