The author of todays reading discusses how when one does not accept their powerlessness
over the alcoholic, one will tend to spend too much time internalizing and/or externally try to
justify their feelings and actions. They are trying to change that person they are having difficulty
with, only to find each and every time that effort just doesnt work. When we criticize, it is
suggested that we "gently" turn those issues towards ourselves. The issues we find fault
with in others can be seen in ourselves but that they "manifest differently" if we really do a
search of our own personal reasons for those actions.
Reminder: "Al-Anon says, Let It Begin With Me." "When I identify something I dislike in
another, I can look for similar traits within myself and begin to change them." "By changing
myself, I truly can change the world."
Quote: "Peace of mind depends on recognizing our own shortcomings." "An honest personal
inventory helps us recognize our strengths and weaknesses." ~ This is Al-Anon
I truly recognize myself in this reading because I have a tendency to still (mentally) criticize and
bemoan the A in my life. This reading is a wonderful reminder for me to stop and "Let It Begin With Me."
TGIF MIP Family!!
Lyne said
Dec 2, 2022
Thanks Debbie for your service and ESH. I, too, silently judge my A. I guess my progress is that I have stopped trying to force solutions. When my awareness kicks in, I say Bless them, change me. I also pray each morning for compassion for my A. I accept my powerlessness as much as I can. At best, I can change myself with mindful focus and practice. Progress not perfection.
Daffodils said
Dec 2, 2022
Thank you Debbie for your service and all shares. This was instrumental in turning a dreaded outing into a fun experience. This morning we were going shopping for Christmas/birthday presents (my spouse and I are December babies). I was focused on the many ways he gets on my nerves when we shop together. Then I remebered I hate shopping with anybody! So after meditating on today's share, I created a plan, asked for his input, and ignored my critical spirit. We didn't waste time browsing- we knew what we wanted, which stores carried it and stuck to our list and budget. Are conversation centered around the beautiful decorations and fond childhood memories. The bonus was getting take out from our favourite Chinese restaurant (yum). By pushing aside mental criticisms which are a breeding ground for resentments, we had fun and learned new things about our histories. Thanks MIP .
DM2021 said
Dec 2, 2022
Just love love love hearing from everyone!!
{{Lyne}} and {{Daffodils}} wishing you and the MIP Family a wonderful week-end!
El said
Dec 3, 2022
Wonderful posts! I not only mentally criticize in the moment, I can predict and already be in a snit before an event even begins. Focus on me, focus on me!
El
DM2021 said
Dec 4, 2022
You got this {{El}}!
Enigmatic said
Dec 4, 2022
Thank you very much DM, and all above for your ESH...
Love this page, so powerful: "By changing myself, I truly can change the world."
THAT, is the 'magic' of Alanon...the superpower that is available to all who are willing...Grateful
DM2021 said
Dec 4, 2022
{{Paul}} you are very wise indeed!! Happy Sunday!!
DM2021 said
Dec 5, 2022
Thank you {{TT}} for your insight and ESH, it is very true for myself as well to humbly soul search
for the honest reasons for my actions and always try to remember that my way cannot always be
the right way for anyone else!! My motives are very important and really question myself when I
feel I need to say something difficult to anyone. Today, while I was at a doctors appointment I had
to be honest with the nurse and APRN because just being there with certain (unprofessional) office
staff actually raised my BP and once I voiced my displeasure (which was very difficult for me to do)
my BP came right down. I really did not want to say anything for fear that it would get those two
in trouble, but it was admitted by the APRN that they were recognized as "stressed out." It is
unfortunate that this is a cardiologist's office and these individuals are counteracting the treatment
that the office is essentially there to treat!!! I could not allow them to do this to me anymore and
have looked into another doctor's practice for future BP checks and medication management. I
questioned myself numerous times before I just finally had to say something, but still found it
difficult to do because I do not walk in these individuals shoes, but I cannot let them affect my
health either. They are just very condescending and rude when I was first put on medication and
it had to be changed and then dosages needed to be tweaked, in the mean time it was scary
because the BP was spiking (with severe headaches) and then tanking to the point of wanting
to pass out and ended up in the ER. All is well now, but I have enough medical background to3
know how to handle the issues I had to go through. So long story short, I am thankful for Al-Anon/
MIP and my HP's guidance!!
And ..... Happy Birthday to Daffodils and your husband this month!!
Daffodils said
Dec 5, 2022
Thank you TT and Debbie for the warm wishes and support. MIP has given me a sense of purpose and belonging. Actually my birthday is the 9th and hubby's is the 31st (I like to obsess ahead...ha ha). I hope you stay healthy Debbie-learned a lot from how you handled the situation.
DM2021 said
Dec 5, 2022
Thank you so much TT and Daffodils!!! Validation is always a good thing indeed {{HUGS}}
The author of todays reading discusses how when one does not accept their powerlessness
over the alcoholic, one will tend to spend too much time internalizing and/or externally try to
justify their feelings and actions. They are trying to change that person they are having difficulty
with, only to find each and every time that effort just doesnt work. When we criticize, it is
suggested that we "gently" turn those issues towards ourselves. The issues we find fault
with in others can be seen in ourselves but that they "manifest differently" if we really do a
search of our own personal reasons for those actions.
Reminder: "Al-Anon says, Let It Begin With Me." "When I identify something I dislike in
another, I can look for similar traits within myself and begin to change them." "By changing
myself, I truly can change the world."
Quote: "Peace of mind depends on recognizing our own shortcomings." "An honest personal
inventory helps us recognize our strengths and weaknesses." ~ This is Al-Anon
I truly recognize myself in this reading because I have a tendency to still (mentally) criticize and
bemoan the A in my life. This reading is a wonderful reminder for me to stop and "Let It Begin With Me."
TGIF MIP Family!!
{{Lyne}} and {{Daffodils}} wishing you and the MIP Family a wonderful week-end!
Wonderful posts! I not only mentally criticize in the moment, I can predict and already be in a snit before an event even begins. Focus on me, focus on me!
El
Love this page, so powerful: "By changing myself, I truly can change the world."
THAT, is the 'magic' of Alanon...the superpower that is available to all who are willing...Grateful
for the honest reasons for my actions and always try to remember that my way cannot always be
the right way for anyone else!! My motives are very important and really question myself when I
feel I need to say something difficult to anyone. Today, while I was at a doctors appointment I had
to be honest with the nurse and APRN because just being there with certain (unprofessional) office
staff actually raised my BP and once I voiced my displeasure (which was very difficult for me to do)
my BP came right down. I really did not want to say anything for fear that it would get those two
in trouble, but it was admitted by the APRN that they were recognized as "stressed out." It is
unfortunate that this is a cardiologist's office and these individuals are counteracting the treatment
that the office is essentially there to treat!!! I could not allow them to do this to me anymore and
have looked into another doctor's practice for future BP checks and medication management. I
questioned myself numerous times before I just finally had to say something, but still found it
difficult to do because I do not walk in these individuals shoes, but I cannot let them affect my
health either. They are just very condescending and rude when I was first put on medication and
it had to be changed and then dosages needed to be tweaked, in the mean time it was scary
because the BP was spiking (with severe headaches) and then tanking to the point of wanting
to pass out and ended up in the ER. All is well now, but I have enough medical background to3
know how to handle the issues I had to go through. So long story short, I am thankful for Al-Anon/
MIP and my HP's guidance!!
And ..... Happy Birthday to Daffodils and your husband this month!!