Today's reading is about how sometimes being heard can tempt us to over-share fearing it's "our last chance to be heard". Oh boy do I relate to that and anyone who's read my long angsty shares of old here will know what I mean. And it was exactly that- trying to say everything while someone was listening. This reading really saw me! I do it all the time. I don't talk for weeks and then when it seems someone is listening I have to say everything. I have clinically diagnosed OCD too and compulsive disclosure is a big part of that. So this reading hits home for me big time. But I learn so much when I am able to make myself shut up and listen! To other people and also to my HP. This reading is about how to gently manage over-sharers and being one myself, what helped me is being encouraged to listen more (as opposed to talk less). A lot of us are damaged and hurt and for some people the need to feel heard is overwhelming. I am facing it in my personal life right now; my daughter's partner lives with us as their mother abandoned them in high school. She doesn't contribute any money or help to her child's life but she likes to call me and over-share about her anxiety and how sad she is that both of her children have left her. It goes on for freaking hours sometimes and it's a challenge to find the right way to gently tell her I don't need to hear every thought she's ever had since she was 3. lol. But I see pieces of myself in her and that makes it easier to practice compassion and gently tell her I can't listen anymore but I have heard her and all is well. It also helps to remember that people who compulsively talk are usually ashamed of it.
DM2021 said
Nov 3, 2022
Very cool topic YKM!! Thank you for your service, reading and ESH!
I can really appreciate this topic, because AH has a tendency to (loves to hear himself talk) over
state issues with a multitude of facts that make all my faculties want to shut down. I try to be
gentle so that I can find some closure, but it ain't easy!!! {{HUGS}}
Lyne said
Nov 4, 2022
Thanks YKM for your service and above ESH. I try to remind myself that I can set boundaries and do not have to listen to everyone's monologues. It's the toughest when my A is active and begins a speech that seems like it can go on forever. I am powerless over others but hopefully can have some control over myself (on a good day!).
Today's reading is about how sometimes being heard can tempt us to over-share fearing it's "our last chance to be heard". Oh boy do I relate to that and anyone who's read my long angsty shares of old here will know what I mean. And it was exactly that- trying to say everything while someone was listening. This reading really saw me! I do it all the time. I don't talk for weeks and then when it seems someone is listening I have to say everything. I have clinically diagnosed OCD too and compulsive disclosure is a big part of that. So this reading hits home for me big time. But I learn so much when I am able to make myself shut up and listen! To other people and also to my HP. This reading is about how to gently manage over-sharers and being one myself, what helped me is being encouraged to listen more (as opposed to talk less). A lot of us are damaged and hurt and for some people the need to feel heard is overwhelming. I am facing it in my personal life right now; my daughter's partner lives with us as their mother abandoned them in high school. She doesn't contribute any money or help to her child's life but she likes to call me and over-share about her anxiety and how sad she is that both of her children have left her. It goes on for freaking hours sometimes and it's a challenge to find the right way to gently tell her I don't need to hear every thought she's ever had since she was 3. lol. But I see pieces of myself in her and that makes it easier to practice compassion and gently tell her I can't listen anymore but I have heard her and all is well. It also helps to remember that people who compulsively talk are usually ashamed of it.
I can really appreciate this topic, because AH has a tendency to (loves to hear himself talk) over
state issues with a multitude of facts that make all my faculties want to shut down. I try to be
gentle so that I can find some closure, but it ain't easy!!! {{HUGS}}