Today's C2C compares emotional growth (and the ability to experience emotions) with learning to play a piano; with mastery comes an appreciation for the highs and lows as they are a powerful reminder that we are alive and experiencing it fully. I think this is quite a beautiful reading and it gives a new perspective on the constant struggle to "control" emotions. I think living in volatile or even dangerous situations with unstable people can cause us to become numb as a safety measure; if I feel nothing then I am far less likely to react to bs treatment and draw criticism or abuse. This can be a really hard habit to break and I think a lot of us continue to think we have "failed" when we experience the more intense emotions because of the underlying belief that the more control we exert over ourselves and our lives, the safer we will be. These days I try to put the more intense/ unpleasant emotions to work on creative projects and that's far healthier than trying to deny they are there. So too I no longer fear feeling happy or even elated as I am not waiting for the other shoe to drop. I know life is like the tides, high and low coming and going no matter what I do but knowing I have taken reasonable steps to ensure I am not in physical and emotional danger all the time means I can observe and experience this and I'm very grateful for that.
SunnyFrog said
Aug 25, 2022
Good morning.
Sometimes I wish I could just be numb and not feel some of the intense emotions I do. That's just not in the cards for me though, I'm a highly emotional person.
If I can just force myself to get busy doing something, regardless of what it is, it does seem to help so much.
Have a good day
DM2021 said
Aug 25, 2022
Thank you YKM for your service, todays reading and to you and SF for both your lovely ESH.
I ran the gambit from reacting to often (before Al-Anon), to going silent (incorrectly applying
the detachment method), to going gray stone (totally shutting down) to finally coming to the
realization that as long as I am not in danger (which 99% of the time I am not) then reacting
to the BS only gets me more BS. I can truly see how reacting to the person gets nowhere
because it's the disease that I am fighting with.
Lyne said
Aug 25, 2022
Thanks YKM for your service and for all the above ESH. I try my best to practice detachment with love, but honestly last week I just didn't have the coping skills and went auto pilot into numbness. I did not confront, stayed busy, got out with my dog, etc. After several days of that, we talked, and that seemed to break the spell. Progress not perfection ODAT.
Today's C2C compares emotional growth (and the ability to experience emotions) with learning to play a piano; with mastery comes an appreciation for the highs and lows as they are a powerful reminder that we are alive and experiencing it fully.
I think this is quite a beautiful reading and it gives a new perspective on the constant struggle to "control" emotions. I think living in volatile or even dangerous situations with unstable people can cause us to become numb as a safety measure; if I feel nothing then I am far less likely to react to bs treatment and draw criticism or abuse. This can be a really hard habit to break and I think a lot of us continue to think we have "failed" when we experience the more intense emotions because of the underlying belief that the more control we exert over ourselves and our lives, the safer we will be.
These days I try to put the more intense/ unpleasant emotions to work on creative projects and that's far healthier than trying to deny they are there. So too I no longer fear feeling happy or even elated as I am not waiting for the other shoe to drop. I know life is like the tides, high and low coming and going no matter what I do but knowing I have taken reasonable steps to ensure I am not in physical and emotional danger all the time means I can observe and experience this and I'm very grateful for that.
Sometimes I wish I could just be numb and not feel some of the intense emotions I do. That's just not in the cards for me though, I'm a highly emotional person.
If I can just force myself to get busy doing something, regardless of what it is, it does seem to help so much.
Have a good day
I ran the gambit from reacting to often (before Al-Anon), to going silent (incorrectly applying
the detachment method), to going gray stone (totally shutting down) to finally coming to the
realization that as long as I am not in danger (which 99% of the time I am not) then reacting
to the BS only gets me more BS. I can truly see how reacting to the person gets nowhere
because it's the disease that I am fighting with.