The writer says that the fear learned from the experience of alcoholism, in a way became a habit. For example, when confronted, they kept silent. The silence was not a choice but reacting, giving up self-respect out of fear and out of habit.
The writer has learned alternatives: recognize fear, say prayers, turn it over to HP, and learn to respond with love, caring, and respect towards oneself, including those parts that experience fear, confusion, and anger.
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I believe the author is speaking about self-acceptance and self-love, even if we have carried some habits along our journey that are not helpful. I lived in fear for most of my life. First I learned fear in my FOO, and then it was carried along by alcoholic/addicted partners. I've come along way with this program, however of course I still have fear at times. I no longer criticize myself for having human emotions. I acknowledge them, try to reason things out, ask for help, and lean into prayers and HP. I can do this, progress not perfection!
DM2021 said
Jun 20, 2022
Thank you Lyne for your service and ESH. I feel the same as you, living in fear and now working on
no longer criticizing myself when things go wrong with the active drinker in my life. I consistently
ask for my HP for support and do not take the disappointment and abuse to heart anymore. It
does make me sad sometimes, the downward drinking spiral but there again I have to lean on HP
The writer says that the fear learned from the experience of alcoholism, in a way became a habit. For example, when confronted, they kept silent. The silence was not a choice but reacting, giving up self-respect out of fear and out of habit.
The writer has learned alternatives: recognize fear, say prayers, turn it over to HP, and learn to respond with love, caring, and respect towards oneself, including those parts that experience fear, confusion, and anger.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I believe the author is speaking about self-acceptance and self-love, even if we have carried some habits along our journey that are not helpful. I lived in fear for most of my life. First I learned fear in my FOO, and then it was carried along by alcoholic/addicted partners. I've come along way with this program, however of course I still have fear at times. I no longer criticize myself for having human emotions. I acknowledge them, try to reason things out, ask for help, and lean into prayers and HP. I can do this, progress not perfection!
no longer criticizing myself when things go wrong with the active drinker in my life. I consistently
ask for my HP for support and do not take the disappointment and abuse to heart anymore. It
does make me sad sometimes, the downward drinking spiral but there again I have to lean on HP
that they are watching and helping.