Dear all, I'm here cause I feel confused and seek advice. I'm the sister of a bipolar addict (currently going through a manic episode) and daughter of a recovering alcoholic. I'm depressed myself and I have just had enough....we live together but are selling our family home to move away after 40yrs.
I feel like I've always been the one trying to pull the family together. My parents are hopeless... just children really... its such a huge weight and I just wanna get away from it....
My mum is selling our family home and buying us both a place of our own.... but now my brother is in this state of physcotic upheaval I am so s are that my mum will enable him by buying a place for him...
He left his job 2 weeks ago. How on earth would be be able to afford to live alone?? He is 35 but has been at home all his life...his symptoms of mania are elation and alter ego so he thinks its all OK.
I've advised my mum and I'm scared she won't listen. It aggravates me to the point that I have to detach myself from both of them. I end up arguing with them.
I too have past trauma from mums alcohol addiction a d my anxiety now is sky high..
Please tell me I'm not alone...
DM2021 said
May 26, 2022
Welcome Starfish22 to the MIP active board and am so sorry you are experiencing so much
upheaval. You are on the right track when you said you are detaching because, yes arguing
is not the best way to deal with folks who are in the midst of their own addiction issues.
Are you seeking membership in a local Al-Anon chapter, just thinking that it would be lovely
for you to have face to face support close by? al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings/find-an-al-anon-meeting/
The answer to your question as to whether you are alone is a resounding no.
You must know that the people in our lives dealing with addiction most certainly need our
love, understanding and support, but we must detach from their chaos.
We did not cause, we cannot control nor can we change them, that is why it is important
for us to find our peace and happiness on our own and let them deal with their own lives
and decisions. Working the Al-Anon 12 Step program points us in the right direction!!!
There is hope and glad you found us, keep coming back!!
Lyne said
May 28, 2022
A second welcome to you Starfish22! Everyone on this board and in any alanon meeting, live or zoom, will have experienced some of what you are going through. Addiction alone is a devastating illness when left untreated, and bipolar disorders are severe as well. So having both together is a double whammy.
As Debbie was saying above, alanon has helped me put my broken life back together. It doesn't help my alcoholic, but it has helped me find peace and contentment no matter what the alcoholic is doing. I'm not saying everyday is perfect, but I do have progress. (one of our slogans: progress not perfection). So I encourage you to try alanon in any manner that fits your energy and schedule. Help is available right here. :)
Starfish22 said
May 29, 2022
Thank you DM and Lyne. I just managed to log into a alanon meeting my first one. But it was like most where doing the steps. I understood alanon was for people living with addicts?
Do they all have to do the steps? Do I need to do then to be a part of the meets ?
Dear all, I'm here cause I feel confused and seek advice. I'm the sister of a bipolar addict (currently going through a manic episode) and daughter of a recovering alcoholic. I'm depressed myself and I have just had enough....we live together but are selling our family home to move away after 40yrs.
upheaval. You are on the right track when you said you are detaching because, yes arguing
is not the best way to deal with folks who are in the midst of their own addiction issues.
Are you seeking membership in a local Al-Anon chapter, just thinking that it would be lovely
for you to have face to face support close by?
al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings/find-an-al-anon-meeting/
The answer to your question as to whether you are alone is a resounding no.
You must know that the people in our lives dealing with addiction most certainly need our
love, understanding and support, but we must detach from their chaos.
We did not cause, we cannot control nor can we change them, that is why it is important
for us to find our peace and happiness on our own and let them deal with their own lives
and decisions. Working the Al-Anon 12 Step program points us in the right direction!!!
There is hope and glad you found us, keep coming back!!
As Debbie was saying above, alanon has helped me put my broken life back together. It doesn't help my alcoholic, but it has helped me find peace and contentment no matter what the alcoholic is doing. I'm not saying everyday is perfect, but I do have progress. (one of our slogans: progress not perfection). So I encourage you to try alanon in any manner that fits your energy and schedule. Help is available right here. :)
Do they all have to do the steps? Do I need to do then to be a part of the meets ?