The writer states that feeling safe was impossible in the family of origin. Upon coming home the mom would often be passed out on the couch, the dad would come home drunk, he would wake her up and start fighting. The writer took care of the house and younger siblings. They were often afraid that something terrible would happen.
One of the greatest gifts this author has received from alanon is the sense of protection. Although alanon is not "parents," it offers consistency, structure, and steadfastness. Meetings can also provide hugs, encouragement, acceptance, and affection. A strong bond with a sponsor is a bonus that can feed the soul.
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I was plagued by fear from an older brother, and could not feel safe even into adulthood. Up until program, I avoided being alone with him, and suffered anxiety when around him. After a number of years in program, and my brother had to have two open heart surgeries, the fear and anxiety just lifted. I have been alone with him a couple times, and I do have a new found sense of freedom from his emotional hold on me. This is one of my gifts from alanon that I never expected. :)
DM2021 said
Mar 28, 2022
Thank you Lyne for your weekly service and sharing.
Thank you for your heart felt ESH as well.
I too feel a sense of relief that gives me comfort from the anxiety
that I brought with me when I first arrived here on MIP.
I no longer feel that if I had to go it alone that it would be
devastating, because having done some due diligence and
picking some plans have also helped to ease my mind.
Of course working the program was the first and most
important step. I no longer fear what may be around the
corner anymore. {{HUGS}}
The writer states that feeling safe was impossible in the family of origin. Upon coming home the mom would often be passed out on the couch, the dad would come home drunk, he would wake her up and start fighting. The writer took care of the house and younger siblings. They were often afraid that something terrible would happen.
One of the greatest gifts this author has received from alanon is the sense of protection. Although alanon is not "parents," it offers consistency, structure, and steadfastness. Meetings can also provide hugs, encouragement, acceptance, and affection. A strong bond with a sponsor is a bonus that can feed the soul.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I was plagued by fear from an older brother, and could not feel safe even into adulthood. Up until program, I avoided being alone with him, and suffered anxiety when around him. After a number of years in program, and my brother had to have two open heart surgeries, the fear and anxiety just lifted. I have been alone with him a couple times, and I do have a new found sense of freedom from his emotional hold on me. This is one of my gifts from alanon that I never expected. :)
Thank you for your heart felt ESH as well.
I too feel a sense of relief that gives me comfort from the anxiety
that I brought with me when I first arrived here on MIP.
I no longer feel that if I had to go it alone that it would be
devastating, because having done some due diligence and
picking some plans have also helped to ease my mind.
Of course working the program was the first and most
important step. I no longer fear what may be around the
corner anymore. {{HUGS}}