ODAT in alanon, Monday, 3/21, alanon, the last resort
Lyne said
Mar 20, 2022
This reading reflects upon people arriving at alanon from despair and unhappiness, and feeling like there are no choices left. Although the newcomer often finds relief from talking it all out, members encourage newcomers to do less and less unburdening. There is work to do, new things to be learned, and the problems from the past and fears of the future must be moved out of the way.
Reminder: Alanon is not a sounding board for continually reviewing our miseries, but a way to learn to detach ourselves from them. I will learn by listening, by reading alanon literature, and by trying to live the Twelve Steps.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This reading allowed me to take a look at myself. First, I remembered my very first F2F meeting. I let all my misery out, and everyone listened. When I finished, they said welcome, and keep coming back. That felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. No one laughed or criticized. But most in the meeting were in a different place--they could focus on the topic of the day, and they seemed calm and happy unlike myself. Over time I could focus on the topic. And now years later, I can see the pain of the newcomer, have compassion, and see how far I have come. Grateful member.
bud said
Mar 20, 2022
Thank you for your service and share Lyne!
Options, choices and not allowing fear to lead.... I had none of these when I first came to Alanon. I was spinning so much that it took a long time to come to understand the messages. As I worked with a sponsor and continued to show up at meetings, one message clicked, then another. I realized that my problems, while they felt enormous, were not insurmountable. I'm so grateful for the program and the opportunity to practice, practice, practice.
DM2021 said
Mar 21, 2022
Thank you, as well from me Lyne, for your service, today's reading and to you and Bud for both your shared ESH.
I so agree with you both that practice, practice and more practice is so important. Everyday, sometimes, is a new
challenge, same issues just different presentation. The different presentations require different approaches and
and thought. Al-Anon is very flexible and I found that reading everyday in either the C2C or ODAT helps me so
much. Of course coming here on MIP is the best!!! {{HUGS}} Happy Spring to the MIP Family!
SunnyFrog said
Mar 21, 2022
Good morning everyone.
Last week I was typing in my journal about all the things I dislike/hate about AH,all the things he's said and done that have hurt and upset me. And I was listing all the reasons I need to leave him.
Idk what happened or how,or even why but I felt this wave of "something" come over me. I deleted everything I had written and started typing out my own flaws,my own part in all this madness. My words changed from he and him to me and I.
I was ashamed of myself. I really,truly was. Many of the behaviors I had written about AH,I have been guilty of too. Actually,everything except the drinking was the same,some even worse than him.
It opened my eyes for sure. It also changed how I was feeling ,there was 100% change in my thoughts and feelings. Especially a change in my heart. The hatred and anger turned into love and compassion.
All that to say that since then I am not stuck in all the past unhappiness and pain. And I have been able to focus on myself instead of being obsessed with him.
It felt like a spiritual experience or something. I don't know how else to describe it. I'm grateful for it though.
Have a good day!
Daffodils said
Mar 21, 2022
Each day my life is enriched one sincere person at a time. Thank you (( MIP ))
This reading reflects upon people arriving at alanon from despair and unhappiness, and feeling like there are no choices left. Although the newcomer often finds relief from talking it all out, members encourage newcomers to do less and less unburdening. There is work to do, new things to be learned, and the problems from the past and fears of the future must be moved out of the way.
Reminder: Alanon is not a sounding board for continually reviewing our miseries, but a way to learn to detach ourselves from them. I will learn by listening, by reading alanon literature, and by trying to live the Twelve Steps.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This reading allowed me to take a look at myself. First, I remembered my very first F2F meeting. I let all my misery out, and everyone listened. When I finished, they said welcome, and keep coming back. That felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. No one laughed or criticized. But most in the meeting were in a different place--they could focus on the topic of the day, and they seemed calm and happy unlike myself. Over time I could focus on the topic. And now years later, I can see the pain of the newcomer, have compassion, and see how far I have come. Grateful member.
Options, choices and not allowing fear to lead.... I had none of these when I first came to Alanon. I was spinning so much that it took a long time to come to understand the messages. As I worked with a sponsor and continued to show up at meetings, one message clicked, then another. I realized that my problems, while they felt enormous, were not insurmountable. I'm so grateful for the program and the opportunity to practice, practice, practice.
I so agree with you both that practice, practice and more practice is so important. Everyday, sometimes, is a new
challenge, same issues just different presentation. The different presentations require different approaches and
and thought. Al-Anon is very flexible and I found that reading everyday in either the C2C or ODAT helps me so
much. Of course coming here on MIP is the best!!! {{HUGS}} Happy Spring to the MIP Family!
Last week I was typing in my journal about all the things I dislike/hate about AH,all the things he's said and done that have hurt and upset me. And I was listing all the reasons I need to leave him.
Idk what happened or how,or even why but I felt this wave of "something" come over me. I deleted everything I had written and started typing out my own flaws,my own part in all this madness. My words changed from he and him to me and I.
I was ashamed of myself. I really,truly was. Many of the behaviors I had written about AH,I have been guilty of too. Actually,everything except the drinking was the same,some even worse than him.
It opened my eyes for sure. It also changed how I was feeling ,there was 100% change in my thoughts and feelings. Especially a change in my heart. The hatred and anger turned into love and compassion.
All that to say that since then I am not stuck in all the past unhappiness and pain. And I have been able to focus on myself instead of being obsessed with him.
It felt like a spiritual experience or something. I don't know how else to describe it. I'm grateful for it though.
Have a good day!