Hi everyone. I did the disappearing act and got bit in the rear. Actually things have been ok till aging parents and not knowing boundaries that let the mind give it an leave it with HP Do y'all think I should be in alanon or acoa? I appreciate the input. Brass tacks is it's me that has to change but not sure how with this situation. I'm not online often these days but I also remember very well it wasn't a counselor that got me out of the crazies before...it was alanon and some amazing people

Thank you too tired. It's been a long time. I've thought about coming back then I get too tired after chores, etc and worry I'll disappear again. Funny and cool thing, I never forget anyone here. I'll forget people I meet elsewhere but not here. I thought I was strong enough to handle this ha. It's not about the alcoholic... But just goes reinforces it's a family disease. Life hits in a series of stages of awareness for me but it's usually after it does a job on me and everyone around me. It never occurred to me to do both...smh

Thank you DM

Greetings Tude--I do recall your name. I agree with TT--find which one works for you, or do both. You know best what your needs are. I keep coming back because life gives me "sneak attacks. "I can be doing really well for a while, and then something completely unexpected throws me into a spin. I find that for some time now, after breakfast I check in with this board. There is almost always something here for me. :)

The sneak attacks yes. Plus I use distraction... ended up with farm life again and had been missing it so much. Too much to do for this old body but the disease of all things alcoholic keeps on growing regardless. Funny, I can know that but then let it happen again. And again...

Hey Tude - great to see you. Never regret breaking away and returning - the light is always on here!

I qualify for both as well as the AA program. My brain is wired to overthink and over-analyze almost everything. I had a huge stalling moment when I came to Al-Anon simply because I felt I would 'fail' trying to work 2 programs. Well - it was a me issue and what I've come to accept is I can use the 12 steps, as written, for almost anyone/anything that is causing me to loose myself or returning to insanity.

My friend who had cancer and I worked the steps on Cancer. She has since passed and was a deeply religious person yet feared departing this world. Working the steps and focusing on her own peace, serenity and joy changed the quality of her life and changed her relationship with her HP.

My parents are aging and my mother had a stroke and is now in a nursing home. I am 18 hours away by car, and have been to help/visit 3 times since August. I'm planning my next visit and reach out every day to check on them/things. It's been a huge challenge and I've made mistakes and yet, I keep showing up and trying to be of service. I don't believe my HP expects me to be 'all things' to them as they age yet I do believe my HP wants me to keep showing up however I can.

Boundaries and detaching has been necessary for me, not optional. I am truly powerless over all that has happened and all that will unfold. I really try to stay in the present simply because that allows me to be the most sane and of service. So, as I tell all folks I encounter about life on life's terms - you do you! There are no wrong answers with how we embrace recovery - keeping an open mind and looking for the similarities will help you in your recovery.

Keep coming back - truly is good to see you!!