Today's reading in Courage to Change says that newcomers may be surprised by the number of years that some members have been in Al-Anon.  Some no longer have an active alcoholic or a living alcoholic in their life.  And yet they keep coming back. The writer sometimes goes through times of doubt, rebelliousness or boredom where they don't feel like keeping up with their program.  But when they miss too many meetings, life starts once again to become unmanageable.  They came for a quick fix, but they stay for the serenity, consistency, security, friendship, and peace found in the program.

Today's Reminder: I see my recovery as a healthy way of life that I can gladly share with others. Today I am actively pursuing a better way of life because I am working on myself.

Quote from Just for Today, "Just for today, I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it."

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Recently in a meeting I heard a longtimer share that she no longer had any living alcoholics in her life -- but they were still living in her head.  That rang true for me.  

I have sometimes wondered if my involvement in Al-Anon keeps me focused on the past -- but I realize it does not, because daily I am reminded to live in today.  

The alcoholic (now deceased) in my head is there -- but is not a problem.  Kind of like a neighbor that I see over the fence every once in a while, and might say hello to, and remember the time they had that raucous party that kept me up all night and left a huge mess, but also remember the time they brought me some food because they had extra.  

I keep coming back because of gratitude, to pay it forward, because I genuinely like some of the people I have met, because I have learned to understand and forgive myself and want to keep that going, because service is 99% a joyful privilege (even though 1% of the time a hassle), because program tools are my secret weapon in fighting any battles life throws at me.

MIP friends, why (or why not) do you keep coming back?

Thanks Freetime!
It's funny how when I was active in al-anon before, I always said I knew it would be a lifelong journey, but then once I was away from the s-show of living with an alcoholic partner, I didn't want to be reminded any more and I stopped participating. Maybe I really did need a break from thinking about it, but I also know I need this program.  When addiction reared it's head again in my family, I realised how dysfunctional my thinking was again, and how far from my program I have strayed. I came to this board first, so clearly I value people and feeling part of a community, and I came back because I know it works. The moment I realised I was trying to take over my brother's situation and push my parents into going to al-anon (they still haven't), I knew exactly where I needed to be, and I knew that it would help- and it is helping so much. I can't think of any other program or group that I have so much faith in.