I was last on this chatroom in 2018 talking about my ABF. Well, hes been in and out of my life many times since we met in 2015 and now is one of those moments again. Hes ended it every time before, due to his fear of what moving the relationship forward would mean, as we live a little over an hour apart.
We spoke a little over two weeks ago, him telling me he needs time with this Time to decide if we will try again and/or time to decide if its time to close that door forever. I fluxuate, after doing this for 6 years (this is him being in and out of my life), Ive begun to realize, my expectations were unrealistic I needed to accept him where hes at. Live in the moment. I wasnt doing that ... needless to say, I am beating myself up over this last separation/possible ending of the relationship and I need to shift the focus from second guessing every thing/regret/loss etc - to taking care of myself.
No idea what is going to happen w us, how long I will wait for his answer (try yet again or end it forever)... I am working on not feeling pathetic while I wait. I will wait for his reply until my heart tells me not to. Not sure what else to do? I am attending a 9am meeting today
DM2021 said
Aug 20, 2021
Welcome back Im!
Glad you are attending meetings.
Let us know how you are doing!!
Im said
Aug 20, 2021
Tiredtonite- thank you for sharing your throughts. Ironically, I did go back and read my previous posts prior to posting this morning. My ABs fears about moving our relationship have been consistent. When Id ask for more.. more time together, new (to him) activities, and other things to get my needs met was usually when he ran. I guess hes consistent. Right? I am at a point, I either need to TRULY accept where hes at, continue to be patient and what he can offer as a partner or move on. Either way, Alanon will help give me clarity about an alcoholic, about me and what I just need to let go/let God.
JerryF said
Aug 20, 2021
Hi Im and welcome back to the board and another day in the life of recovery. Ironic that I am telling another member that after coming home from breakfast at Wendy's (awesome eats) with my wife of 34 years. She is also Al-Anon cared for and by the way I am her second husband while she is my 3rd. My first two were addicts (I am addicted to addicts and alcoholics) and the last time I practice that was 34 years ago. I've got 44 years of recovery now on a daily basis with a Power Greater Than Myself on a minute by minute basis.
I practiced what I was raised with Alcoholism and Drug addiction on both sides of my family.
Al-Anon and AA ended that for me and continues to keep it ended daily along with my MIP family. Today I follow the instructions, "Keep coming back" is foremost while openly admitting I am Powerless over it all. Of course there is and has been much much more so I practice constantly and I only live one day at a time often separated by minutes.
You and He are practicing...good for you both. Grow your recovery families and speak often with your Higher Powers.
Hugs and Prayers with you both and the Wendy's breakfast is awesome...My treat, she paid. LOL
I was last on this chatroom in 2018 talking about my ABF. Well, hes been in and out of my life many times since we met in 2015 and now is one of those moments again. Hes ended it every time before, due to his fear of what moving the relationship forward would mean, as we live a little over an hour apart.
We spoke a little over two weeks ago, him telling me he needs time with this Time to decide if we will try again and/or time to decide if its time to close that door forever. I fluxuate, after doing this for 6 years (this is him being in and out of my life), Ive begun to realize, my expectations were unrealistic I needed to accept him where hes at. Live in the moment. I wasnt doing that ... needless to say, I am beating myself up over this last separation/possible ending of the relationship and I need to shift the focus from second guessing every thing/regret/loss etc - to taking care of myself.
No idea what is going to happen w us, how long I will wait for his answer (try yet again or end it forever)... I am working on not feeling pathetic while I wait. I will wait for his reply until my heart tells me not to. Not sure what else to do? I am attending a 9am meeting today
Glad you are attending meetings.
Let us know how you are doing!!
Hi Im and welcome back to the board and another day in the life of recovery. Ironic that I am telling another member that after coming home from breakfast at Wendy's (awesome eats) with my wife of 34 years. She is also Al-Anon cared for and by the way I am her second husband while she is my 3rd. My first two were addicts (I am addicted to addicts and alcoholics) and the last time I practice that was 34 years ago. I've got 44 years of recovery now on a daily basis with a Power Greater Than Myself on a minute by minute basis.
I practiced what I was raised with Alcoholism and Drug addiction on both sides of my family.
Al-Anon and AA ended that for me and continues to keep it ended daily along with my MIP family. Today I follow the instructions, "Keep coming back" is foremost while openly admitting I am Powerless over it all. Of course there is and has been much much more so I practice constantly and I only live one day at a time often separated by minutes.
You and He are practicing...good for you both. Grow your recovery families and speak often with your Higher Powers.
Hugs and Prayers with you both and the Wendy's breakfast is awesome...My treat, she paid. LOL
