In today's reading, the author shares about self-worth. The author stresses that we each have value because we each breathe the breath of humanity.
Learning from criticism and being open to what others say is important to the author, but popularity and the ability to please those around us, including at work and at home, are not legitimate measures of a person's worth.
The author shares that, as they get to know themselves better through the Al-Anon program, s they are able to identify their likes and dislikes, their dreams, choices, and values, they are increasingly able to risk other people's disapproval. The author noticed that they are also more able to honor other when they choose to be themselves, whether or not the author likes what they see.
Today's Reminder: With the help of a loving Sponsor and the support of my fellow Al-Anon members, I am learning to find my place in the world - a place where I can live with dignity and self-respect
Today's Quote: "I exist as I am, that is enough, if no other in the world be aware I sit content, and if each and all be aware I sit content" Walt Whitman
-------------------
My experience in living with an active alcoholic was that I stopped thinking about my beliefs, my values, my goals, my wants, and my needs. Expression of these thigs or moving toward them usually resulted in explosive conflict, and so I decided to avoid it and have some peace.
That was an expensive trade-off. It cost me relationships, time with people I care about, and nearly resulted in me not completing my education.
Over time, I've found ways to express my wants and needs, and vocalize the compromises I am making without resentment. I am also making progress toward my goals and living in a way that feels more authentic for me. I'm grateful to the program for guiding me along this journey!
DM2021 said
Aug 4, 2021
Thank you Skorpi for your service, today's reading and your ESH!!
Speaking up properly has always been issue for me as far back as I can remember!
Understanding my wants, needs and motives was key to learning how to say what I mean,
mean what I say and not saying it meanly. Researching my motives and perspective before
I speak, when under duress or stress, was the first step in my journey through this lesson
in Al-Anon. I learned that when done correctly there should be no guilt! If I was fair, kind,
compassionate and knew as many of the facts as possible, from all angles, that speaking up
could not only benefit me but others as well, then it was important to "express what my
needs and wants were without resentment".
For example: I had to have an annual mammogram yesterday. I booked an appointment
on the one day during the week that I knew I could wait for a doctors results. I been doing
that for 11 years now, because I had breast cancer and I really did not want to get that
dreaded call back or wait a week for the results. The technician who did the images gave
me such a hard time about waiting for the results, when it was not her place to interfere
with a service that was afforded to me. She tried to make a judgement call that the doctors
were to busy and when I tried to explain to her that the service is available on Tuesdays and
it was the way I was allowed to book the appointment she got in my face and got all red and
angry. I waited for my results, which were negative (YEAH) and asked to speak with the
Director of the Women's Center, who was appalled at my treatment. I could not let that
situation go without addressing it for, not only me but anyone else who could find themselves
being mistreated by this person!!
sunmustshine said
Aug 4, 2021
Skorpi thank you for this reading and your share that hits home in every way for me. I gave myself up entirely for years as though very little I thought, wanted mattered.
This reading also serves to hit the defects that linger today. Wow do I get sucked in when I fall low on productivity reports at work. I have to stop and ask, what do my actions/abilities to be number 1 at work have to do with who I am? Zero, thats how much. Further, no one at work told me to judge myself the way I can. I need to step out if that trap I create for myself, as though my self worth could be dictated by anyone else. Its so refreshing to acknowledge how independently and wonderfully human we all are. Have a terrific day.
Iamhere said
Aug 4, 2021
Thank you Skorpi for your service and the daily. Thanks to all for your shares & ESH. Prior to Al-Anon, I confused selflessness with door mats. As with many things, I had a warped definition of love, support, parent, mom, daughter, etc. I put everybody else first before me (self-annointed) and then wondered why I was miserable on a regular basis.
Putting myself first sounded insane to me and when I tried, it felt foreign to me too. Yet, there was something in those who came before me - genuine joy and peace - that intrigued me just enough to keep me trying. I'm glad I did as I truly am more content in my life today than ever before.
When 'life' happens, I know now that it's a part of the human experience. I don't take it personally and instead look for a way to be of value or of service. I am truly grateful for the many lessons in recovery and the promises which have come true in my life.
Happy hump day all - golfed this morning, volunteering shortly until close and then golf tomorrow followed by a road trip with meals to say good-bye to my friend. I have been praying for the words to use so my friend knows how much I love her, value her and am grateful to have known her. Make it a great day all...
Daffodils said
Aug 4, 2021
Thank you Skorpi for your service/ESH and everyone's shares. ((DM2021)), yay indeed for negative results. What a difference 48 hours makes...was in a snit but thanks to posts from last few days, I was able to give my head a shake. Started the day with a gratitude list and realized instead of appreciating the positive turns in my life, my brain was seeking chaos and drama. Thanks for the timely topics and shares...I always get what I need and am inspired to use my time to be of love and service to myself and others.
mamalioness said
Aug 5, 2021
Skorpi. Thank you for your service and your share. Are used to think my self-worth was based on accomplishment and how many people liked me and now I look at it differently. Yes I would rather be liked then not liked LOL and I would rather be praised then criticized of course but even in criticism I can learn. It depends on who is saying it and what their motives are I can separate the wheat from the chaff and know what is the truth and something I need to work on and something that is just them projecting their negativity onto me. But now I look at myself as one who is worthy, one who is learning, one who is changing for the better, one who wants to work on open and honest and willing program and throw in some kindness with that and also kindness to myself and thats what I see happening for me. Its nice when you see progress. Ive had a long and hard recovery road because I was such a mess when I showed up here but now I see the fruits of my labor and it was worth it and I am worth it
Lyne said
Aug 8, 2021
Skorpi, thanks for your service and all above ESH. OMG self-worth has taken a lifetime (it feels like) because I did not have any in my FOO, nor my first marriage to an addict. But here in my second marriage to an alcoholic/addict, I found alanon. I gave myself a gift to try this program, and wow has it paid off. Ive learned to love and respect myself with flaws and all! I can tell my A what I mean, without saying it mean. I resigned from the doormat club. I accept I will never be perfect and there is no need to beits not humanly possible. All in all, I do have peace and serenity much of the time. I remain a grateful member.
Hello MIP!
In today's reading, the author shares about self-worth. The author stresses that we each have value because we each breathe the breath of humanity.
Learning from criticism and being open to what others say is important to the author, but popularity and the ability to please those around us, including at work and at home, are not legitimate measures of a person's worth.
The author shares that, as they get to know themselves better through the Al-Anon program, s they are able to identify their likes and dislikes, their dreams, choices, and values, they are increasingly able to risk other people's disapproval. The author noticed that they are also more able to honor other when they choose to be themselves, whether or not the author likes what they see.
Today's Reminder: With the help of a loving Sponsor and the support of my fellow Al-Anon members, I am learning to find my place in the world - a place where I can live with dignity and self-respect
Today's Quote: "I exist as I am, that is enough, if no other in the world be aware I sit content, and if each and all be aware I sit content" Walt Whitman
-------------------
My experience in living with an active alcoholic was that I stopped thinking about my beliefs, my values, my goals, my wants, and my needs. Expression of these thigs or moving toward them usually resulted in explosive conflict, and so I decided to avoid it and have some peace.
That was an expensive trade-off. It cost me relationships, time with people I care about, and nearly resulted in me not completing my education.
Over time, I've found ways to express my wants and needs, and vocalize the compromises I am making without resentment. I am also making progress toward my goals and living in a way that feels more authentic for me. I'm grateful to the program for guiding me along this journey!
Speaking up properly has always been issue for me as far back as I can remember!
Understanding my wants, needs and motives was key to learning how to say what I mean,
mean what I say and not saying it meanly. Researching my motives and perspective before
I speak, when under duress or stress, was the first step in my journey through this lesson
in Al-Anon. I learned that when done correctly there should be no guilt! If I was fair, kind,
compassionate and knew as many of the facts as possible, from all angles, that speaking up
could not only benefit me but others as well, then it was important to "express what my
needs and wants were without resentment".
For example: I had to have an annual mammogram yesterday. I booked an appointment
on the one day during the week that I knew I could wait for a doctors results. I been doing
that for 11 years now, because I had breast cancer and I really did not want to get that
dreaded call back or wait a week for the results. The technician who did the images gave
me such a hard time about waiting for the results, when it was not her place to interfere
with a service that was afforded to me. She tried to make a judgement call that the doctors
were to busy and when I tried to explain to her that the service is available on Tuesdays and
it was the way I was allowed to book the appointment she got in my face and got all red and
angry. I waited for my results, which were negative (YEAH) and asked to speak with the
Director of the Women's Center, who was appalled at my treatment. I could not let that
situation go without addressing it for, not only me but anyone else who could find themselves
being mistreated by this person!!
Putting myself first sounded insane to me and when I tried, it felt foreign to me too. Yet, there was something in those who came before me - genuine joy and peace - that intrigued me just enough to keep me trying. I'm glad I did as I truly am more content in my life today than ever before.
When 'life' happens, I know now that it's a part of the human experience. I don't take it personally and instead look for a way to be of value or of service. I am truly grateful for the many lessons in recovery and the promises which have come true in my life.
Happy hump day all - golfed this morning, volunteering shortly until close and then golf tomorrow followed by a road trip with meals to say good-bye to my friend. I have been praying for the words to use so my friend knows how much I love her, value her and am grateful to have known her. Make it a great day all...