Last night in my home group zoom, I shared two things that Betty taught me. It helped me to remember them, and the group seemed to like them, so I thought I would just post them here this morning. She actually taught me many things that live on inside my head and heart, but I want to keep it short.
-Dont have expectations, for they can be a resentment waiting to happen.
-Always carry a QTIPQuit Taking It Personally.
Thank you Betty, Love, Lyne
DM2021 said
Jul 28, 2021
Thank you Lyne and thank you Betty.
mamalioness said
Jul 28, 2021
Oh this brings back some fond memories about Betty teaching me about expectations. Whether it be about another person or a situation or a circumstance or thing she really really worked on me with expectations she told me that unrealistic expectations were premeditated resentments and I really grabbed onto that and it resonated and she told me to check my motives before I give. If it is not truly from the heart and I have Some sort of expectations of a return of sorts, back off and think about it. Checking my motives was another big thing she taught me. Thank you very much as you rest in your happy place, know that I am growing and thriving thanks to you taking me under your wing and teaching me some of the greatest things that I now pass on to others. And yes the Q-tip thing also because I took everything personally. Especially other people having a bad day and coming at me. I would take it personally. Oh I am so grateful that I showed up here when I did and got to work with her for as long as I did
Lyne. Thank you for this great post and memory about all the great things she taught us
Iamhere said
Jul 28, 2021
Thank you Lyne for your share. Both are so, so equally important for my program if I truly desire serenity. I can admit without shame that I unintentionally choose a bit of chaos/drama by forgetting either or both of these. The good news - I do bounce back to my program mode of Ops. much faster than I used to.
JerryF said
Jul 28, 2021
Thanks ladies for the memory of both of these slogans which were first given to me by the gals of Al-Anon. Of course I did investigations of both rather than just believe and I found out by trial and error it was true. A lot of trial and error were relieved from my life as I practiced both. Now a days this is rocket science for me and lessons for others. ((((hugs))))
Maresie888 said
Jul 30, 2021
Lynne
Thank you so much for your reminder of how benevolent Betty was. One thing certainly Betty taught me was to take kids on life's terms
Who would imagine we would have had to deal with this pandemic. Two years of dealing with a virus
Now there is another surge .
One cannot help but be afraid of what is coming due the line next
I am trying to set myself up for the next few years
It is a comolicated dance. One step forward three steps back
I am indeed challenged every day to deal with what is in front of me. The challenge being how do you move through the chaos
I have been dealing with an individual who is chaotic. Every day another crisis. I have to work with them. On top of that they are extremely abrasive
Then the next day they act like nothing happened.
I put some distance between us. Then I end up being in a place where I have to work with them in another capacity
This has brought up for me living with the qualifier. Every day he had a major catastrophe. Somehow everyday ge would be trying to pull me into it
Resisting him was a major undertaking every say. I had to pull out of everything and tahe huge losses to get away from his insanity
I am not in the same position here. I do not live wat sleep work in the same place
Nevertheless there are similarities.
There is only so much detaching one can do
Yesterday was the same old crisis after crisis
After a while you get burned out on the #fire# drill
I have put in for a transfer. I would likely be doing that regardess of this crisis magnet. However the real lesson for me is that around someone like that there is only one option move away as fast as you can. Do not engage on any level.
In other words simply run like hell
It took me 8 years to get that with the qualifier
It has been 6 months in t hi is instance
6 months with Covid and a whole lot of other things thrown in
I cannot wait to see the back of her. The day cannot come fast enough
Maresie
Hoot Nanny said
Aug 2, 2021
I sure miss Betty aka hot rod! She was my MIP confidant. She made sense when I needed to make sense.
Yes, I remember QTIP & have shared it w/ people who aren't even in the program.
Last night in my home group zoom, I shared two things that Betty taught me. It helped me to remember them, and the group seemed to like them, so I thought I would just post them here this morning. She actually taught me many things that live on inside my head and heart, but I want to keep it short.
-Dont have expectations, for they can be a resentment waiting to happen.
-Always carry a QTIPQuit Taking It Personally.
Thank you Betty, Love, Lyne
Thank you Lyne and thank you Betty.
Lyne. Thank you for this great post and memory about all the great things she taught us
Thanks ladies for the memory of both of these slogans which were first given to me by the gals of Al-Anon. Of course I did investigations of both rather than just believe and I found out by trial and error it was true. A lot of trial and error were relieved from my life as I practiced both. Now a days this is rocket science for me and lessons for others. ((((hugs))))
Lynne
Thank you so much for your reminder of how benevolent Betty was. One thing certainly Betty taught me was to take kids on life's terms
Who would imagine we would have had to deal with this pandemic. Two years of dealing with a virus
Now there is another surge .
One cannot help but be afraid of what is coming due the line next
I am trying to set myself up for the next few years
It is a comolicated dance. One step forward three steps back
I am indeed challenged every day to deal with what is in front of me. The challenge being how do you move through the chaos
I have been dealing with an individual who is chaotic. Every day another crisis. I have to work with them. On top of that they are extremely abrasive
Then the next day they act like nothing happened.
I put some distance between us. Then I end up being in a place where I have to work with them in another capacity
This has brought up for me living with the qualifier. Every day he had a major catastrophe. Somehow everyday ge would be trying to pull me into it
Resisting him was a major undertaking every say. I had to pull out of everything and tahe huge losses to get away from his insanity
I am not in the same position here. I do not live wat sleep work in the same place
Nevertheless there are similarities.
There is only so much detaching one can do
Yesterday was the same old crisis after crisis
After a while you get burned out on the #fire# drill
I have put in for a transfer. I would likely be doing that regardess of this crisis magnet. However the real lesson for me is that around someone like that there is only one option move away as fast as you can. Do not engage on any level.
In other words simply run like hell
It took me 8 years to get that with the qualifier
It has been 6 months in t hi is instance
6 months with Covid and a whole lot of other things thrown in
I cannot wait to see the back of her. The day cannot come fast enough
Maresie
I sure miss Betty aka hot rod! She was my MIP confidant. She made sense when I needed to make sense.
Yes, I remember QTIP & have shared it w/ people who aren't even in the program.