Todays reading is about the roles that intimacy and sexuality play in the lives of those of us affected by alcoholism. The writer describes how alcoholism created a fear of intimacy as well as a craving for it. The writer was often losing him/herself in another person, had damaging perceptions about his/her own body and felt the effects of not feeling affection expressed within the family. The writers sponsor suggested an inventory of different expressions of intimacy. Through this process the writer learned to set guidelines for him/herself and others in terms of behavior. The writer learned that physical expressions of intimacy are different than intimacy and passion in other forms.
The concept that strikes me after reading this page today is that any type of intimacy with another person will be limited or compromised in some way if there is a limited understanding of oneself. I think there is validity in that cliche about not being able to fully contribute to a relationship if either of the people involved has a limited comprehension of their own sense of intimacy. The thought for the day reminds us that physical expression is not the limit to intimacy and passion. From p. 40 of Sexual Intimacy and the Alcoholic Relationship: intimacy encompasses caring and sharing, laughing, crying and praying together, touching and hugging, giving and taking.
I hope everyone enjoys a peaceful Sunday and Happy 4th to all who are celebrating:)
Mary
mamalioness said
Jul 4, 2021
Thank you Mary for your service and your share. I choose not to get into opposite sex relationships because I am still, to this day, developing an intimate relationship with myself and that must happen first with healthy boundaries and a healthy sense of self, that has to happen first for me before I can get into any opposite sex relationships. I think intimate relationships for me started with sponsors and recovery Partners and then establishing even healthier relationships with my already good and close friendships. Intimacy does not mean sex it just means to me in to me see. I had to get a healthy grasp on that before there was any chance of an opposite sex relationship which I think now I could handle but whether or not that happens, I noticed working my program I am a better me for my close relationships that I have now. If I should meet a fellow that I can really relate with and feel safe with and it would be a progress in baby steps, I think I could hold up my end of a relationship but I could not say that until quite recently
Daffodils said
Jul 4, 2021
Good Morning All. Happy Independence Day to those that celebrate. Thank you Mary for your service/ESH. The above shares resonate with me. I have developed an intimate relationship with my sponsor. The program process is teaching me to honour my feelings, trust someone with my emotions and set boundaries. The relationship with my HP provides comfort 24/7, and never fails me. My sponsor's insights help me uncover the barriers that keep me from giving and receiving from the heart. Best of all, I am content with myself and feel blessed to have joy living in the present. Also, love the "in to me see"...
Have a wonderful day.
PosiesandPuppies said
Jul 4, 2021
Thank you Mary for your service... I so appreciate you!!
Good to see everyone's shares as well.
For me, intimacy cannot occur without Trust. It is a huge issue for me...the need to feel safe. I have 4th-Stepped this, and understand/accept this about myself. I have learned that it is better for my sanity, if I don't "go all in" at the very start of things. Baby steps are good many times.
If you are in the USA, I hope that you have a "Safe N Sane" holiday! I appreciate my freedoms now more than ever! Happy Birthday, America... now let's be good humans!!
&
DavidG said
Jul 4, 2021
Thanks for your topic, Mary.
Emotional intimacy is my starting point, pure and simple.
Which crosses all kinds of relationships, and friendships.
I noticed that when our youngest brother was born our parents moved into single beds.
And the day after the same brother left school our mother left home.
That said a lot to me.
Maresie888 said
Jul 7, 2021
Thank you so much for this share
After Covid I certainly believe we are in a very new place of understanding of self awareness and personal responsibility
By no means is anything #back to normal#
Moreover the transition is extremely difficult
Indeed I feel lucky that I have not had more difficulties. However this transition requires another form of transition for me
I feel this COVID 19 crisis has been a pivotal moment in my life. That is absolutely pivotal in having to address personal responsibility which is of course very difficult. Most difficult to deal with is of course the daily series of obstacles I need to negotiate
I am currently getting ready to go to a doctor's appointment. Despite being vaccinated there are incredible obstacles to getting into the office with the doctor
The same goes for getting into the dentist office
Of course the same goes for every single interaction. The kind of ridiculousness I had to encounter at the vet's office wa of course par for the course. That was for a routine appointment
I am praying that there will be some form of a return to normalcy soon. In the meantime the transition to a new phase in my life where I am healthier is indeed a challenge
Among them is finding the right job opportunity to make my life less challenging. That is of course one small part of my challenges. indeed I have many many challenges but I am ready for all of them.
In the meantime of course I most certainly can rise to the challenges. I was reminded today frustration is very much part of life. Traction is a whole other matter in moving forward. Pandemic or no pandemic I am moving forward.
I am most certainly up for the task. I have no doubt every recovery tool I have will be necessary for the task.
Good morning everyone:
Todays reading is about the roles that intimacy and sexuality play in the lives of those of us affected by alcoholism. The writer describes how alcoholism created a fear of intimacy as well as a craving for it. The writer was often losing him/herself in another person, had damaging perceptions about his/her own body and felt the effects of not feeling affection expressed within the family. The writers sponsor suggested an inventory of different expressions of intimacy. Through this process the writer learned to set guidelines for him/herself and others in terms of behavior. The writer learned that physical expressions of intimacy are different than intimacy and passion in other forms.
The concept that strikes me after reading this page today is that any type of intimacy with another person will be limited or compromised in some way if there is a limited understanding of oneself. I think there is validity in that cliche about not being able to fully contribute to a relationship if either of the people involved has a limited comprehension of their own sense of intimacy. The thought for the day reminds us that physical expression is not the limit to intimacy and passion. From p. 40 of Sexual Intimacy and the Alcoholic Relationship: intimacy encompasses caring and sharing, laughing, crying and praying together, touching and hugging, giving and taking.
I hope everyone enjoys a peaceful Sunday and Happy 4th to all who are celebrating:)
Mary
Thank you Mary for your service... I so appreciate you!!
& 
Good to see everyone's shares as well.
For me, intimacy cannot occur without Trust. It is a huge issue for me...the need to feel safe. I have 4th-Stepped this, and understand/accept this about myself. I have learned that it is better for my sanity, if I don't "go all in" at the very start of things. Baby steps are good many times.
If you are in the USA, I hope that you have a "Safe N Sane" holiday! I appreciate my freedoms now more than ever!
Happy Birthday, America... now let's be good humans!!
Thanks for your topic, Mary.
Emotional intimacy is my starting point, pure and simple.
Which crosses all kinds of relationships, and friendships.
I noticed that when our youngest brother was born our parents moved into single beds.
And the day after the same brother left school our mother left home.
That said a lot to me.
After Covid I certainly believe we are in a very new place of understanding of self awareness and personal responsibility
By no means is anything #back to normal#
Moreover the transition is extremely difficult
Indeed I feel lucky that I have not had more difficulties. However this transition requires another form of transition for me
I feel this COVID 19 crisis has been a pivotal moment in my life. That is absolutely pivotal in having to address personal responsibility which is of course very difficult. Most difficult to deal with is of course the daily series of obstacles I need to negotiate
I am currently getting ready to go to a doctor's appointment. Despite being vaccinated there are incredible obstacles to getting into the office with the doctor
The same goes for getting into the dentist office
Of course the same goes for every single interaction. The kind of ridiculousness I had to encounter at the vet's office wa of course par for the course. That was for a routine appointment
I am praying that there will be some form of a return to normalcy soon. In the meantime the transition to a new phase in my life where I am healthier is indeed a challenge
Among them is finding the right job opportunity to make my life less challenging. That is of course one small part of my challenges. indeed I have many many challenges but I am ready for all of them.
In the meantime of course I most certainly can rise to the challenges. I was reminded today frustration is very much part of life. Traction is a whole other matter in moving forward. Pandemic or no pandemic I am moving forward.
I am most certainly up for the task. I have no doubt every recovery tool I have will be necessary for the task.
Maresie