Though we may be reluctant to acknowledge it, self-deception impacts how both alcoholic and Alanon members relate their experience to others. Both unconsciously hold back details that are unflattering to self, and magnify the fault of the other.

Seeing the facts objectively requires a change of perspective and attitude on both parts.

Reminder: I will avoid judging others' private conflicts as self-deception renders the details I hear unreliable. I will avoid advising others to take steps that they may not be prepared are able to take.

"Let Go and Let God' is a good rule to follow when we are asked to give advice in a troubled domestic situation" - unattributed
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I failed to see my role in my own insanity until I accepted the guidance and wisdom of AlAnon that encouraged me first to recognize, then accept that I had many of the same character defects as my qualifier.

My own bias will never disappear completely, but with continual reminders and work in the program I know to look for it and be willing to apologize when I catch myself using it against others or paint a false picture of myself.

With such a struggle within myself, Alanon wisely suggests I not advise others in personal matters. I don't have the wisdom and knowledge to account for misrepresentation, intended or not.

Grateful for a higher power that takes care of the things I cannot

The major issue I share with the alcoholic is an inability to control my emotions 

Now I tshe full responsibility for my life I have to strategixs how to deal with them 

July 4th is going to be particularly difficult. 

There is going to be a return to mass gatherings so all the roads are going to be blocked by traffic

I will go to work early 

My co workers are extremely unlikely at adopt a similar strategy ..

My.supervisor's way to deal.witn such chaos is divide and conquer. That strategy has not been working too well for her of late she has been off work a lot.  Nevertheless I have to deal with life on life"s terms 

One of the core issues of someone with complex PTSD is to catastrophixe. I can of course choose to do that. I most certainly have had my share of catastrophe. One of the most painful aspects of recovery had been looking at what my own role in certain catastrophes was.  That was and still is extremely painful 

So.I could complain that being an essential worker on July 4th is a real pain.  Being paid extra does not adequately compensate for it 

However as a person in recovery I am going to work to strstrhuxe how I can make it less chaotic. That requires significant work on my part.   I do not feel I have to option to be passive about my recovery any longer

Managing my triggers is really necessary because I am no longer entertain being in a place where I can be overwhelmed 

Maresie 

Thank you Paul for your service and today's reading and to you Maresie and Lyne for all shared ESH.

I struggled with judging the alcoholic in my life. I was so uncomfortable in that mind-set it literally was like a

cycle of judgement of AH and dislike for myself for judging!! Al-Anon has given me back my perspective

concerning judgement and am so grateful as well.

  Good reading Paul, and shares, y'all...

On my Alanon journey we were told that we had the same sickness as the alcoholic.

And that we may be even sicker because, at least some of us, did not use alcohol to medicate the sickness.

I am not sure about this one, or even where the idea came from. Some time I might want to unpack these

ideas, and to clarify them a bit more. Impulse control is something all family members might have in common-

in the alcoholic home. So taking time to sort things out- might be an antidote to that.  ...