Good morning family. I am very rocky this morning and dealing with PTSD which originated from way back when as I fought the insanities not only of alcoholism and drug addiction and also the start of the war in Hawaii and over my home town. It has carried on till the present on a daily basis and fortified the disease also. Yesterday and last night and the present moment my mind and emotions and thoughts are owned by it and I need to rest so that I can proceed the continuation for rehabilitation and greater sanity.
I know I am not alone in this subject and condition and ask if there are others here with experience and knowledge of the subject that are willing to do service with me which could help me gain further peace of mind and serenity please do not hesitate to knock on my door.
Prayers being sent and practiced. Mahalo Piha. ((((hugs))))
SunnyFrogs said
Jun 13, 2021
I have PTSD also.
Sorry you're struggling right now. It always helps me to keep in mind the symptoms will pass.
Were you recently triggered by something?
JerryF said
Jun 13, 2021
Sunny I have been triggered for ages and the symptoms are countless. My HP is with me constantly and directs my choices. Often HP directs my choices so that others do not suffer endlessly or needlessly. I met my HP when I was conceived and took up screaming and shouting at Him because I was afraid and wanting control. I get control when I follow HP's will which I am looking toward now....
Daffodils said
Jun 13, 2021
(((HUGS)))
SunnyFrogs said
Jun 13, 2021
Jerry, your symptoms are constant? You never get a break from them?
Have you been to a mental health professional or have you had trauma therapy? There's medications that can help too. You don't have to suffer so much when there's help available.
I still struggle but not as much as before trauma thrapy. I usually only suffer when I have been triggered and I have to just ride the symptoms out until they finally pass. Sometimes it's a few days,sometimes weeks,it's never the same. Once they do pass though I feel like I am recovering from the flu.II have to take extra gentle care of myself during symptoms and then after too,until I am well again.
Debb said
Jun 13, 2021
Jerry,
I probably suffered from PTSD but since I started working the Al-Anon program and prior
to Al-Anon I was a big mediator/yoga enthusiast. I am reading that mediation and yoga
would be a wonderful way for you empty your anxious thoughts and also, I found, connect
-- Edited by Debb on Sunday 13th of June 2021 03:47:53 PM
-- Edited by Debb on Sunday 13th of June 2021 03:48:44 PM
SunnyFrogs said
Jun 13, 2021
Yeah,both meditation and yoga are good for PTSD episodes
Since PTSD is a life long disorder that can't be cured and only managed we have to find ways to deal with it the best we can.
I'm finding that AlaNon is helpful in some ways,especially with managing emotions (or trying to).
ETA: That's a good,helpful link you shared Debb.
-- Edited by SunnyFrogs on Sunday 13th of June 2021 08:28:27 PM
Maresie888 said
Jun 13, 2021
Jerry
Call the Veterans hotline
I.had noticed you were having nightmares .
Nightmares are exhausting you are sleep deprived running on fumes
When my nerve endings are coming undone I have to retreat.
Cocoon get rest
Find ways to ground yourself simple food, rest music
Objects that soothe and comfort you
Carry one of those objects with you. When you feel the otsd flashback hold onto it. Feel the feet beneath you on the trou n.v d . Notice the nature around you .
Share with people who know what you are talking about .
Read David Kesslor he is excellent on grief. Grief is a big part of PTSD. Remember good things about the alcoholic
Remember that you can send love at any time m
Do the Forgiveness meditation by Steohen Levin.
Send forgiveness to yourself. You deserve a place in your heart
Know you are loved valued and respected.
PTSD is a lifetime of work
Treatment has changed a lot
Be kind to yourself
Slow down
Cut back on your expectations.
Try to bring yourself back to a state where your nerve ends are not fried
Take care and report back to let us know how you are
Maresie
JerryF said
Jun 13, 2021
Yes my symptoms are constant and I have used therapy and some medications though I don't like chemicals that alter the mind from my history with alcohol and drugs. I practice now and have for a long while, psycho cybernetics which is strong mind and mood altering behaviors which works for me. I use visualization with meditation and prayer and active communication with HP.
Although I know that physical and mental and emotional conditions are different and mental/emotional are not, for me, as forceful as physical behaviors and such I don't react as if I am being controlled actively. I can weather the imaginations and thoughts and "act as if" another positive reality is also taking place. I know the working reality of insanity (the continuous and disorderly process of thought) and have other awareness to use.
I have the experiences of being a behavioral health therapist also and can turn off and on what I need to rely on. I have experience with attempted suicide and much more. My alcoholic/addict wife was a victim of my PTSD and we survived it together in the past. PTSD is NOT a minor condition. My understanding is that it is similar to living in an altered state while understanding reality.
Al-Anon is my altered state.
I hope my experience here and the explanation of my ESH has been appropriate. If not I apologize.
DavidG said
Jun 13, 2021
Good topic Jerry.
I self-diagnosed with C-PTSD. I found it more than helpful to be aware of the symptoms. It was a game-changer.
In our F2F meetings there are enormous constraints on time alone. In this group we can try and test out topics! ...
Although this is not an official Alanon group I try hard, myself, to keep to the spirit of Alanon. And the topic of this
thread, also in my view, is of vital importance. Giving each other a hearing, in itself is healing.
In our preamble say:- "Our thinking becomes distorted by trying to force solutions, and we become irritable and unreasonable without knowing it."
These are very simple words. for me very much of an understatement. But very much a starter for newcomers!
Prolonged adherence to this statement, in the preamble, will usually lead to burn-out, and worse.
My personal opinion, but for some of us, our predisposition to this is related to the condition of C-PTSD.
I always tell new members that we work in tandem with health professionals- to encourage each other to seek the best services available.
Personally I try to operate inside of this group- to promote the health and the growth of the group.
This was not easy to do- while going through the middle steps... ...but I believe firmly that is is the way we learn, and grow emotionally.
And we learn to embrace and to understand the Traditions.
Although MIP Alanon is not an official Alanon group, I personally, treat it as such. A really good model. ...
And, in the end, it comes down to our group conscience here, which I think is a really solid one.
Thanks Jerry. Good stuff...
mamalioness said
Jun 13, 2021
Jerry I have complex PTSD and I have problems when I am triggered where my brain is not regulated the frontal lobes are not in a match. I have found what others above me said about meditation and yoga and also reaching out to places like here and also close loved ones, I am very blessed in that I have two loved ones who are also happen to be in recovery. So I am sorry that you are suffering from this. But I think being mindful exercises and yoga and meditation and keep coming here and feel the feelings, be with the feelings so you can come to accept them and then release them thats what I do and it helps, please Take what you can use and leave the rest. Sending healing hugs
SunnyFrogs said
Jun 13, 2021
Jerry
I'm sorry your symptoms are constant. I was told I have "constant PTSD" even after years of therapy and that I need to learn to live my life despite my anxiety. I am doing so much better than I used to though.
Yes, you're right,PTSD is not a minor condition. It's actually a pretty serious disorder to struggle with.
I understand the struggles firsthand as I'm sure others that have been diagnosed with it understand too.
I find that interesting, Alanon being your altered state. Is that a form of dissociation?(if not can you explain more what you mean?)
I just looked up psycho cybernetics, that's interesting too.
-- Edited by SunnyFrogs on Monday 14th of June 2021 09:53:46 AM
Maresie888 said
Jun 14, 2021
Jerry.
Certainly there is a very good understanding of PTSD related to war time experience as a #moral injury# .
For some of us who have been morally injured it is a lifetime of work. We can become closely identified with other people who have PTSD
The VA have done some state of the art research work on PTSD especially in relation to combat .
I think for me the issue with complex PTSD is that at different stages of life various issues are triggered
For some of us those symptoms may be very difficult to ma age. I am well aware you know the whole package of diet, lifestyle, calming measures
Certainly being aware of the need for regulation is key
One of the other premier experts for PTSD Richard Kluft has said it is very difficult to integrate cumulative trauma over a lifetime . Therefore someone with a major dissociative disorder and complex PTSD who has got to a place of some stability is a rare phenomenon. That is a rarity rather than a common occurrence
I know many many people who are dysregulated and find nothing wrong with it. They lash out all the time and make excuses for it. Moreover there are numerous people, very smart and engaging people, who remain profoundly disassociated and in essence fragmented their whole lifetime. They cannot imagine being otherwise
For some people the prospect of facing trauma is too triggering. In my family of origin this is the case. They will never address those issues. I am certainly at peace with that. For some of us as we move through the formidable task of integrating PTSD brings survivor guilt.
There are so many people who never make it to seing beyond their symptoms That is a source of very real grief since of us need help with. Grief is a natural phenomenon. However David Kesslor is extraordinary resource on grief. His understanding of the cumulative grief so many of us feel daily is so nourishing and redemptive.
Therefore you are most certainly a revelation to be able to be so articulate and crystal clear about the issues you face.
On top of that you are compassionate and kind and truly emphatic. How you acquired those awesome traits no o n.v e knows but everyone at Miracles in recovery has benefited from your generosity
The VA have resources they have the expertise and they have the capability. Why not use them?
The Clovis area has many facilities that can lend assistance
Call the hotline and see what is available for you
You deserve this time and attention
Maresie
PosiesandPuppies said
Jun 14, 2021
(((((Jerry)))))
I do not have any ESH to share with you regarding this. What I hear is that you are very aware, and are using the tools available to you. I believe you are correct when you infer that society does not take PTSD seriously enough. I am hoping the medical community can rectify this as mental health becomes a bigger "talking point" in our social conscience.
I pray that today is a better day for you!
&
JerryF said
Jun 14, 2021
Sunny I thought that Al-Anon was a imaginative state others dreamt up and was not an accepted reality; I did not believe and did not attempt to believe in it. I even found the presence of other dialogues and accents in language disturbing and proof something was seriously unbelievable. I was alone and a foreigner even in a room full of Alanoners...I didn't get it and along with my refusal to get it I have spent a very long time working at getting it...Thank you God cause now I can tell myself "I know and know that I know" where as this awareness was lacking for me when I first got here while shouting, "Let me Go!! Leave me alone!!".
All of the resistance going in with the PTSD hanging on from birth. I was born to this disease along with the tuberculosis which showed up on a yearly basis on employment checks. Now I have answers and tools ...lots of them to help get around and by the insanity. I even have a definition of INSANITY given to me thru each program that makes this all real.
Sanity...the continuous and orderly process of thought and to face the PTSD all I have to do is include the "dis-" The continuous and "dis-" orderly process of thought. The literature, the ESH of my recovery family, my sponsorship and continuous love and support of Al-Anon and AA provide spiritual integrity and safety to my spirit.
I have accepted a definition of spirit much in the like of the spirit I gained in the military which is and was a very different way of living.
Again to all of you, my family...thanks for letting me share and get healing. (((((hugs)))))
-- Edited by JerryF on Monday 14th of June 2021 01:10:10 PM
Debb said
Jun 14, 2021
{{JerryF}}
SunnyFrogs said
Jun 14, 2021
Thanks for that awesome share/explanation Jerry.
Hugs
Girl58 said
Jun 14, 2021
Sunny, Like your comment about recovering from the flu. I have complex PTSD and, when triggered, also experience varying lengths of symptoms. But you're right...I'm left feeling upset and exhausted, and it sometimes takes a couple of weeks to regain balance.
Debb said
Jun 14, 2021
Welcome Girl58 to MIP!!
SunnyFrogs said
Jun 15, 2021
Hi there Girl58. Welcome.
I'm sorry you also struggle with PTSD and understand that feeling I was talking about.
But it's good to also know I'm not alone in what I experience.
Hugs
DavidG said
Jun 15, 2021
I showed up at an Alanon meeting- in a northern city on Monday. There were two of us visitors, and two fairly new local members.
There was some very good Alanon there- with the no cross-talk guideline being practised during the core sharing period. And equally as
healthy it was not imposed around the greeting and "coffee time".
I sometimes jokingly say- that I suffer from chronic hypochondria. Anything going round I will identify with it. And so too C-PTSD. But
C-PTSD ideas have opened up a lot of doors for me. Healthy meetings and groups that offer me numerous reality checks. This is a great
substitute for "family time" that I did not get. And it does get me stable.
Thanks Jerry for getting this topic into the mesh of "coffee time". ...
JerryF said
Jun 15, 2021
Thanks back to you David as you are firmly implanted in my recovery also for the years we have practiced here and elsewhere. My former sponsor Don.T. encouraged me to grow which in the past year included opening up about PTSD which I have kept suppressed. Doing my inventories brought up not only service related trauma and family insanity it kept a light on and over the sickening war I fought in this disease. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder fits completely and I've got much work to do about it. I have opened up my work and involvement in addressing government, commercial, medical and the other participants who know and know the parts they play in our family disease. I'm numb so numb knowing that I was born and raised within it. I've got 78+ years fighting for my sanity and life and truthfully if it has not been for our program of recovery and the entire fellowship I would no longer be participating. Its been insane but awesome front and back. Mahalo.
Good morning family. I am very rocky this morning and dealing with PTSD which originated from way back when as I fought the insanities not only of alcoholism and drug addiction and also the start of the war in Hawaii and over my home town. It has carried on till the present on a daily basis and fortified the disease also. Yesterday and last night and the present moment my mind and emotions and thoughts are owned by it and I need to rest so that I can proceed the continuation for rehabilitation and greater sanity.
I know I am not alone in this subject and condition and ask if there are others here with experience and knowledge of the subject that are willing to do service with me which could help me gain further peace of mind and serenity please do not hesitate to knock on my door.
Prayers being sent and practiced. Mahalo Piha. ((((hugs))))
Sorry you're struggling right now. It always helps me to keep in mind the symptoms will pass.
Were you recently triggered by something?
Sunny I have been triggered for ages and the symptoms are countless. My HP is with me constantly and directs my choices. Often HP directs my choices so that others do not suffer endlessly or needlessly. I met my HP when I was conceived and took up screaming and shouting at Him because I was afraid and wanting control. I get control when I follow HP's will which I am looking toward now....
Have you been to a mental health professional or have you had trauma therapy? There's medications that can help too. You don't have to suffer so much when there's help available.
I still struggle but not as much as before trauma thrapy. I usually only suffer when I have been triggered and I have to just ride the symptoms out until they finally pass. Sometimes it's a few days,sometimes weeks,it's never the same. Once they do pass though I feel like I am recovering from the flu.II have to take extra gentle care of myself during symptoms and then after too,until I am well again.
Jerry,
I probably suffered from PTSD but since I started working the Al-Anon program and prior
to Al-Anon I was a big mediator/yoga enthusiast. I am reading that mediation and yoga
would be a wonderful way for you empty your anxious thoughts and also, I found, connect
with your HP.
https://apibhs.com/2018/06/28/tips-to-get-out-of-a-ptsd-episode
-- Edited by Debb on Sunday 13th of June 2021 03:47:53 PM
-- Edited by Debb on Sunday 13th of June 2021 03:48:44 PM
Yeah,both meditation and yoga are good for PTSD episodes
Since PTSD is a life long disorder that can't be cured and only managed we have to find ways to deal with it the best we can.
I'm finding that AlaNon is helpful in some ways,especially with managing emotions (or trying to).
ETA: That's a good,helpful link you shared Debb.
-- Edited by SunnyFrogs on Sunday 13th of June 2021 08:28:27 PM
Call the Veterans hotline
I.had noticed you were having nightmares .
Nightmares are exhausting you are sleep deprived running on fumes
When my nerve endings are coming undone I have to retreat.
Cocoon get rest
Find ways to ground yourself simple food, rest music
Objects that soothe and comfort you
Carry one of those objects with you. When you feel the otsd flashback hold onto it. Feel the feet beneath you on the trou n.v d . Notice the nature around you .
Share with people who know what you are talking about .
Read David Kesslor he is excellent on grief. Grief is a big part of PTSD. Remember good things about the alcoholic
Remember that you can send love at any time m
Do the Forgiveness meditation by Steohen Levin.
Send forgiveness to yourself. You deserve a place in your heart
Know you are loved valued and respected.
PTSD is a lifetime of work
Treatment has changed a lot
Be kind to yourself
Slow down
Cut back on your expectations.
Try to bring yourself back to a state where your nerve ends are not fried
Take care and report back to let us know how you are
Maresie
Yes my symptoms are constant and I have used therapy and some medications though I don't like chemicals that alter the mind from my history with alcohol and drugs. I practice now and have for a long while, psycho cybernetics which is strong mind and mood altering behaviors which works for me. I use visualization with meditation and prayer and active communication with HP.
Although I know that physical and mental and emotional conditions are different and mental/emotional are not, for me, as forceful as physical behaviors and such I don't react as if I am being controlled actively. I can weather the imaginations and thoughts and "act as if" another positive reality is also taking place. I know the working reality of insanity (the continuous and disorderly process of thought) and have other awareness to use.
I have the experiences of being a behavioral health therapist also and can turn off and on what I need to rely on. I have experience with attempted suicide and much more. My alcoholic/addict wife was a victim of my PTSD and we survived it together in the past. PTSD is NOT a minor condition. My understanding is that it is similar to living in an altered state while understanding reality.
Al-Anon is my altered state.
I hope my experience here and the explanation of my ESH has been appropriate. If not I apologize.
Good topic Jerry.
I self-diagnosed with C-PTSD. I found it more than helpful to be aware of the symptoms. It was a game-changer.
In our F2F meetings there are enormous constraints on time alone. In this group we can try and test out topics!
...
Although this is not an official Alanon group I try hard, myself, to keep to the spirit of Alanon. And the topic of this
thread, also in my view, is of vital importance. Giving each other a hearing, in itself is healing.
In our preamble say:- "Our thinking becomes distorted by trying to force solutions, and we become irritable and unreasonable without knowing it."
These are very simple words. for me very much of an understatement. But very much a starter for newcomers!
Prolonged adherence to this statement, in the preamble, will usually lead to burn-out, and worse.
My personal opinion, but for some of us, our predisposition to this is related to the condition of C-PTSD.
I always tell new members that we work in tandem with health professionals- to encourage each other to seek the best services available.
Personally I try to operate inside of this group- to promote the health and the growth of the group.
This was not easy to do- while going through the middle steps... ...but I believe firmly that is is the way we learn, and grow emotionally.
And we learn to embrace and to understand the Traditions.
Although MIP Alanon is not an official Alanon group, I personally, treat it as such. A really good model.
...
And, in the end, it comes down to our group conscience here, which I think is a really solid one.
I'm sorry your symptoms are constant. I was told I have "constant PTSD" even after years of therapy and that I need to learn to live my life despite my anxiety. I am doing so much better than I used to though.
Yes, you're right,PTSD is not a minor condition. It's actually a pretty serious disorder to struggle with.
I understand the struggles firsthand as I'm sure others that have been diagnosed with it understand too.
I find that interesting, Alanon being your altered state. Is that a form of dissociation?(if not can you explain more what you mean?)
I just looked up psycho cybernetics, that's interesting too.
-- Edited by SunnyFrogs on Monday 14th of June 2021 09:53:46 AM
Certainly there is a very good understanding of PTSD related to war time experience as a #moral injury# .
For some of us who have been morally injured it is a lifetime of work. We can become closely identified with other people who have PTSD
The VA have done some state of the art research work on PTSD especially in relation to combat .
I think for me the issue with complex PTSD is that at different stages of life various issues are triggered
For some of us those symptoms may be very difficult to ma age. I am well aware you know the whole package of diet, lifestyle, calming measures
Certainly being aware of the need for regulation is key
One of the other premier experts for PTSD Richard Kluft has said it is very difficult to integrate cumulative trauma over a lifetime . Therefore someone with a major dissociative disorder and complex PTSD who has got to a place of some stability is a rare phenomenon. That is a rarity rather than a common occurrence
I know many many people who are dysregulated and find nothing wrong with it. They lash out all the time and make excuses for it. Moreover there are numerous people, very smart and engaging people, who remain profoundly disassociated and in essence fragmented their whole lifetime. They cannot imagine being otherwise
For some people the prospect of facing trauma is too triggering. In my family of origin this is the case. They will never address those issues. I am certainly at peace with that. For some of us as we move through the formidable task of integrating PTSD brings survivor guilt.
There are so many people who never make it to seing beyond their symptoms That is a source of very real grief since of us need help with. Grief is a natural phenomenon. However David Kesslor is extraordinary resource on grief. His understanding of the cumulative grief so many of us feel daily is so nourishing and redemptive.
Therefore you are most certainly a revelation to be able to be so articulate and crystal clear about the issues you face.
On top of that you are compassionate and kind and truly emphatic. How you acquired those awesome traits no o n.v e knows but everyone at Miracles in recovery has benefited from your generosity
The VA have resources they have the expertise and they have the capability. Why not use them?
The Clovis area has many facilities that can lend assistance
Call the hotline and see what is available for you
You deserve this time and attention
Maresie
I do not have any ESH to share with you regarding this. What I hear is that you are very aware, and are using the tools available to you. I believe you are correct when you infer that society does not take PTSD seriously enough. I am hoping the medical community can rectify this as mental health becomes a bigger "talking point" in our social conscience.
I pray that today is a better day for you!
Sunny I thought that Al-Anon was a imaginative state others dreamt up and was not an accepted reality; I did not believe and did not attempt to believe in it. I even found the presence of other dialogues and accents in language disturbing and proof something was seriously unbelievable. I was alone and a foreigner even in a room full of Alanoners...I didn't get it and along with my refusal to get it I have spent a very long time working at getting it...Thank you God cause now I can tell myself "I know and know that I know" where as this awareness was lacking for me when I first got here while shouting, "Let me Go!! Leave me alone!!".
All of the resistance going in with the PTSD hanging on from birth. I was born to this disease along with the tuberculosis which showed up on a yearly basis on employment checks. Now I have answers and tools ...lots of them to help get around and by the insanity. I even have a definition of INSANITY given to me thru each program that makes this all real.
Sanity...the continuous and orderly process of thought and to face the PTSD all I have to do is include the "dis-" The continuous and "dis-" orderly process of thought. The literature, the ESH of my recovery family, my sponsorship and continuous love and support of Al-Anon and AA provide spiritual integrity and safety to my spirit.
I have accepted a definition of spirit much in the like of the spirit I gained in the military which is and was a very different way of living.
Again to all of you, my family...thanks for letting me share and get healing. (((((hugs)))))
-- Edited by JerryF on Monday 14th of June 2021 01:10:10 PM
Hugs
Sunny, Like your comment about recovering from the flu. I have complex PTSD and, when triggered, also experience varying lengths of symptoms. But you're right...I'm left feeling upset and exhausted, and it sometimes takes a couple of weeks to regain balance.
I'm sorry you also struggle with PTSD and understand that feeling I was talking about.
But it's good to also know I'm not alone in what I experience.
Hugs
There was some very good Alanon there- with the no cross-talk guideline being practised during the core sharing period. And equally as
healthy it was not imposed around the greeting and "coffee time".
I sometimes jokingly say- that I suffer from chronic hypochondria. Anything going round I will identify with it. And so too C-PTSD. But
C-PTSD ideas have opened up a lot of doors for me. Healthy meetings and groups that offer me numerous reality checks. This is a great
substitute for "family time" that I did not get. And it does get me stable.
Thanks Jerry for getting this topic into the mesh of "coffee time".
...
Thanks back to you David as you are firmly implanted in my recovery also for the years we have practiced here and elsewhere. My former sponsor Don.T. encouraged me to grow which in the past year included opening up about PTSD which I have kept suppressed. Doing my inventories brought up not only service related trauma and family insanity it kept a light on and over the sickening war I fought in this disease. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder fits completely and I've got much work to do about it. I have opened up my work and involvement in addressing government, commercial, medical and the other participants who know and know the parts they play in our family disease. I'm numb so numb knowing that I was born and raised within it. I've got 78+ years fighting for my sanity and life and truthfully if it has not been for our program of recovery and the entire fellowship I would no longer be participating. Its been insane but awesome front and back. Mahalo.