When Betty was active in this board she was very diligent about mentioning the steps. I have grown to really love the meetings that focus on topics. How her presence is missed on a daily basis 

For me today I have been exposed to a large number of essential workers who have been working under such duress. Having to get to work with no public transit. This evening one of my co workers had her car break down. I am not sure if she can get into work or not. At this stage it appears not likely and there is no one to cover her shift.  They made huge cuts to the public transit system because under normal circumstances she could get here by transit.  Being responsible day in day out ongoing to a job under duress takes its toll. There are staff shortages. There are no provisions to be able to move people around. Most of all there are people really suffering because the cost of living is so high. 

Of course under normal circumstances I can believe I am the only one who has problems. Indeed I have had problems with alcoholism in my life in many respects. Those problems seemed insurmountable. 

However largely thanks to al anon I am able to negotiate some of those problems. Even with so mb e of the people I have had authority issues with I have her able to come to terms with them.  That is not something I could ever imagine 

Nevertheless I am aware that on some level deep down I believe I have more problems than others. Well as far as essential workers go (who after all have has to work through the whole pandemic) I don't. However being an essential worjerband having to go to work when I am called in is another way of living.   Showing up for work is not an alcoholics forte. The qualifier could only go so long in specific roles. Then he would crash and burn. He certainly dragged me into all his financial problems. Having to be accountable and responsible is on a other level entirely. So is simply having to meet the commitment of meeting life on life's terms.  The qualifier never managed to do that 

I certainly have my share of issues. My health is a major concern for me at the moment.   I have not been able to move forward with certain goals because of issues with putting everything into place. Nevertheless on so many levels largely because of my new understanding of complex PTSD I have changed many of the problems I have found overwhelming 

Step 6 is known as one of the steps that bring the recovering persons back into the fold.  Step 6 is what separates the men from the boys. 

I certainly cannot relate to having leisure time. I have not had any since the pandemic began. I have changed jobs at least 3 times during the pandemic. Indeed I am waiting for one of my job to bring in more hours. They will come by the fall. That will be a big relief on many levels. 

While I cannot imagine what it is like to have leisure time I know that showing up for life is one of the first steps. I also known that I am certainly not alone in being an essential worjer that had held it all together through the pandemic 

At this stage I cannot really get upset that was my only option 

I know that I have shown up for what I needed to do to take care of myself.  That is something I had extreme doubts about before. Now I have a very real confidence I can move through life with far less difficulty. 

Maresie 

Maresie,

When working Step 6, these were the most important questions for me to address and thought I would share with you.

Working as an essentially worker is indeed very stressful and am grateful for your dedication!!

How can step six help me to let go of obsessive thinking and enjoy the present moment?

By realizing, and I do realize, that Alcoholism is a disease that is out of my control and the results of AH's drinking is only the disease talking,

that I should feel compassion for his addiction and never take his verbal put downs personally. Abuse is another story, I have learned to stand

up for my rights and draw the line when his verbal abuse becomes to loud and hurtful. I have learned to stand up at the right time, not when

he is drinking. I have also learned to avoid places, times and discussions that are his triggers, that has been another game changer to end

the gaslighting and chaos. Step 6 has also allowed me to use these learned tools in all of life's situations as they arrise!

How has my pain led me to be willing to let go and let God?

I believe that HP has always watched out for me, the Al-Anon protocol just reinforced by belief in that. It is easy for me to talk to HP and

listen for the guidance.

In what ways has isolation to be trapped in my character defects?

Isolation was my way of hiding what I thought was the bad person AH said I was. Al-Anon showed me that what AH was saying to me was

the chaos of the disease!! The isolation was equal to my lack of confidence and fears of failure which made me into a difficult person to be

with because it put me on the defensive all the time. I can feel that I am much more relaxed and self confident, with a much broader

understanding the alcoholism and greater patience in general with myself and others.