Live and let live, I think is the official Alanon slogan.
My mum would say:- "Let them stew in their own juice."
Anyway i have friend who is selling up and going to the city. Where he and his SO have a son and grandkids.
A few years ago i gave him an old tractor. I was reluctant to part with it. And he made good use of it- planting out a small orchard, and building a road side fruit stall.
I have never been a sponsor really- but I mentored my friend for quite a few years too... which was great experience.
But there was not firm bid on the day. Just someone who went "conditional".
And my friends out there have a bid o their dream home in the city- just at the edge of the bush- which is what we call "forest".
I suppose I am fretting for them a bit. I am not sure, at the moment, how things actually stand.
I am always tempted to try and force solutions!
It is fairly ingrained.
But all that does is to take the matter up with the committee that sits between my ears!
It is Sunday morning there... light rain yesterday.
One day at a time- things are going fairly well.
This slogan stuff- is starting to catch on with me. The Maori language has thousands!
Ahakoa he iti, he pounamu. [Although it is small it is precious...]...
At least for me the gift of writing and singing has returned. A bit of a build up towards our Anzac Day.
So blessed... ... thanks so much... ...
The song below is Fijian, which is my fourth language, after Maori, Welsh and English.
In our part of the world- in Canada and elsewhere- we have suffered a great loss.
Whether we actually liked the person or not does not matter really. We think of his SO,
and his family at this time. And we turn to celebrate his life with gratitude.
So the flags are lowered in England, Wales, Fiji, Aotearoa-NZ, Canada and elsewhere today- and for a while.
-- Edited by DavidG on Saturday 10th of April 2021 02:15:53 PM
Maresie888 said
Apr 10, 2021
Dear David
I certainly used to find watching others change really challenging
Saying goodbye is not easy. My grief class.has helped.me a.lot to deal with everyday grief. Grief did at times engulf me.
Grieving my lost childhood has made enormous changes to my physical being
.Everyday life is an exercise in grief and courage. There is no more.a precarious time for that with Covid because we certainly are.not out of the woods yet.
I gave up thinking about returning to a normal time a while ago. Now I can see.that there is a real possibility that I might be able to let up on some of my responsibilities. I went back up to working 6 days a week again recently but air know this will.not be for too long
I feel a lot less.exhausted and that is such a welcome relief. What a gift it is to finally feel.better and.stronger.
Maresie
Debb said
Apr 10, 2021
Lovely share David. It is difficult to stay out of other's business, especially when they
are special and you worry about them. I know that I felt the same way with my daughter
who took a very difficult road that lead her to just rock bottom. When she needed me
I was there and now things are going good for her. I guess what I am saying is that if
your friend needs you, feel that if that opportunity arises you can be there for him.
I think the whole world is grieving the lose of Prince Philip, I know I am and appreciate
his contributions. Thanks for sharing the music I love acapella!
Lyne said
Apr 11, 2021
Hi David, wow that music is beautiful. Its playing as Im typing. Yes loss is difficult for me. I not only feel it for myself, but for the others affected by it.
Certainly I have done my fair share of trying to force solutions with my A. Betty did her best to set me straight on that, and most of the time I can keep the focus on me. It sneaks up on me though, and I have to do a self-auto-correct.
DavidG said
Apr 11, 2021
Thanks so much Debbs, Lyne, and Maresie. ...
Sharing is not a popularity contest. People with immediate issues get the attention they deserve here.
I get a swell of pride at each share and each response. Very proud to be a member of this group. ...
I had a really good sleep last night- and woke up refreshed. For many years i was in 'the agony aunt' lane.
I had incredible difficulty getting unstick.
The outside help I have gotten has been a game changer. [Awful cliche here! But true... ...]
But I have been able to integrate this into my Alanon journey. The hints and clues i picked up on the journey
dovetail neatly into what modern researchers have found. Many of the researchers are also members of
'the client group' in their own right. I think this is a trend. They have some objectivity, but are insiders
at the same time.
My own goal was to be able to demonstrate a successful recovery. I still sometimes have bad days- and doubt
deeply that anything has changed. But steps 10 and 11 have taught me that a turnaround was always possible-
and still is!
Being a part of a group- being friends and confidents, in a sense. One share does not give much away at all. But over
My mum would say:- "Let them stew in their own juice."
Anyway i have friend who is selling up and going to the city. Where he and his SO have a son and grandkids.
A few years ago i gave him an old tractor. I was reluctant to part with it. And he made good use of it- planting out a small orchard, and building a road side fruit stall.
I have never been a sponsor really- but I mentored my friend for quite a few years too... which was great experience.
But there was not firm bid on the day. Just someone who went "conditional".
And my friends out there have a bid o their dream home in the city- just at the edge of the bush- which is what we call "forest".
I suppose I am fretting for them a bit. I am not sure, at the moment, how things actually stand.
I am always tempted to try and force solutions!
It is fairly ingrained.
But all that does is to take the matter up with the committee that sits between my ears!
It is Sunday morning there... light rain yesterday.
One day at a time- things are going fairly well.
This slogan stuff- is starting to catch on with me. The Maori language has thousands!
Ahakoa he iti, he pounamu. [Although it is small it is precious...]...
At least for me the gift of writing and singing has returned. A bit of a build up towards our Anzac Day.
So blessed... ...
thanks so much... 
...
The song below is Fijian, which is my fourth language, after Maori, Welsh and English.
In our part of the world- in Canada and elsewhere- we have suffered a great loss.
Whether we actually liked the person or not does not matter really. We think of his SO,
and his family at this time. And we turn to celebrate his life with gratitude.
So the flags are lowered in England, Wales, Fiji, Aotearoa-NZ, Canada and elsewhere today- and for a while.
-- Edited by DavidG on Saturday 10th of April 2021 02:15:53 PM
Dear David
I certainly used to find watching others change really challenging
Saying goodbye is not easy. My grief class.has helped.me a.lot to deal with everyday grief. Grief did at times engulf me.
Grieving my lost childhood has made enormous changes to my physical being
.Everyday life is an exercise in grief and courage. There is no more.a precarious time for that with Covid because we certainly are.not out of the woods yet.
I gave up thinking about returning to a normal time a while ago. Now I can see.that there is a real possibility that I might be able to let up on some of my responsibilities. I went back up to working 6 days a week again recently but air know this will.not be for too long
I feel a lot less.exhausted and that is such a welcome relief. What a gift it is to finally feel.better and.stronger.
Maresie
are special and you worry about them. I know that I felt the same way with my daughter
who took a very difficult road that lead her to just rock bottom. When she needed me
I was there and now things are going good for her. I guess what I am saying is that if
your friend needs you, feel that if that opportunity arises you can be there for him.
I think the whole world is grieving the lose of Prince Philip, I know I am and appreciate
his contributions. Thanks for sharing the music I love acapella!
Certainly I have done my fair share of trying to force solutions with my A. Betty did her best to set me straight on that, and most of the time I can keep the focus on me. It sneaks up on me though, and I have to do a self-auto-correct.
Sharing is not a popularity contest. People with immediate issues get the attention they deserve here.
I get a swell of pride at each share and each response. Very proud to be a member of this group.
...
I had a really good sleep last night- and woke up refreshed. For many years i was in 'the agony aunt' lane.
I had incredible difficulty getting unstick.
The outside help I have gotten has been a game changer. [Awful cliche here! But true...
...]
But I have been able to integrate this into my Alanon journey. The hints and clues i picked up on the journey
dovetail neatly into what modern researchers have found. Many of the researchers are also members of
'the client group' in their own right. I think this is a trend. They have some objectivity, but are insiders
at the same time.
My own goal was to be able to demonstrate a successful recovery. I still sometimes have bad days- and doubt
deeply that anything has changed. But steps 10 and 11 have taught me that a turnaround was always possible-
and still is!
Being a part of a group- being friends and confidents, in a sense. One share does not give much away at all. But over
time we do get to know each other well.
...
It is a comfort zone. Most of the time.
A sunny day steaming in here. Monday morning...
-D.