In today's reading, the author reflects on the power of their imagination. Invited to speak at a different meeting, the author conjured up a large group of serious Al-Anon members meeting in a perfect location with a perfect meeting format. The author's role in this visualization was as the guest speaker, uttering a daunting barrage of wise words at the exact right moment in the perfectly planned meeting.
What actually happened was quite different. The author reflects that everything that could have gone wrong did go wrong - the meeting location was temporary, the group small, the secretary a substitute, the scripted format lost. The author decided that their HP had a sense of humor and had substituted enough familiar elements through the spontaneity of the make-shift meeting that the author felt right at home. The author's concepts of the importance of their role and of the meeting itself dissipated, and the author realized that the "important" meeting was just a group of Al-Anon members gathered together in fellowship, doing their best to muddle through and lend each other a helping hand.
Today's Reminder: I give thanks for the ways my Higher Power finds to cut my pretensions down to size. When I can laugh a little, I feel less afraid.
Today's Quote: I want to remember, every time Im tempted to take a heavy, somber view of a happening, that it may not be so bad after all . . . Ill cultivate a knack for recognizing and enjoying humorous moments. One Day at a Time in Al-Anon
------------------
Most of the focus in the reading was on HP having a sense of humor, and how the author's HP helped the author learn not to take themselves and their situation too seriously. What stood out to me was the elaborate and stressful situation the author had built up in their head about being a guest speaker at another meeting. Like the author, I can build future situations up in my head, and worry whether I will be the right person to share my ESH, be a guest speaker, lead a work meeting, or present at a conference. Using my Al-Anon tools has helped me to focus on reality and what is happening right now, what I can do right now, and leave the future to itself. There are things I cannot know, but if I am prepared and feel comfortable in my own skin, then there are very few situations that do not work out. When I focus on myself and the way I am being in various situations, there is very little that can "go wrong" - it might just not go according to my hopes or fears.
When I think back on my learning for this, the most significant event happened at a conference - a global conference for my field. I'd presented at national conferences in my field with various other organizations, and so my expectation for this conference presentation was that I'd be speaking in a room of 20-30 chairs, perhaps 3-15 people. I was ready for really intense and not-so-friendly questions, as is normal in my area of specialty. I felt prepared for that. I'd practiced my presentation, I knew what I wanted to express, I was ready to go. I enjoyed the conference, explored a bit of the city surrounding the conference center, stumbled upon a fantastic restaurant, and connected with some colleagues. The evening before my presentation was set, I decided to locate the room so I could help set my expectations for the presentation. I located the room, which happened to be a ballroom that sat 1,000. I sighed with relief when I realized upon walking into the room that it was divided into several smaller rooms. The main room was HUGE, and at least 500 could sit there. There was a HUGE stage. This couldn't be right. I looked around more, consulted the room information again, and found my way to my specific presentation room. This was much better. only 300 chairs. GULP. Very different from what I expected. I could feel myself starting to spiral into self-doubt, so I pulled out my Al-Anon tools, focused on what was happening at the moment, and went to dinner. I practiced my presentation a few more times, I had notes, but I felt that I wouldn't need to read them. The next day, I found that the room wasn't packed - approximately half the chairs were empty. My presentation went well, I was confident in what I was sharing, and the questions were friendly. I am so glad that I used my tools and worked through my fear, didn't let my imagination talk me into canceling the presentation at the last minute. Many positive opportunities have come as a result of that presentation, and that was really a clearly defining moment in both my Al-Anon program and my career.
Debb said
Apr 7, 2021
Skorpi, thank you for today's reading, your service and ESH.
It is such a relief when I find the lighter side of difficult and stressful situation!
I have a tendency to, after the dust settles sense that there is always a
greater reason for the way things turn out. I do not know if it is a bonus in
life to be able to do it, but I do feel that, with time, as bad as life can be
Thanks Skorpi for your service and for above shares. When I read about our imagination , I thought of how I only used to think of the negative. I hardly ever smiled or laughed, and I needed a list to keep me focused and secureforget about imagination and spontaneity. Of course that has all changed, and I am so grateful for the new life program is giving me. Im the one now who cracks up my granddaughter and I am prone to lots of laughing. Things are far from perfect, but thank God for progress.
Maresie888 said
Apr 7, 2021
Dear Skorpi
I had a conversation with my boss yesterday that went well. I was expecting it to be awful
Life can indeed be difficult. At this time it is easier. I have more money. I have resources. I have support (therapy) I have people to talk to who certainly understand ny dilemmas
The irony for some of is is that when things get easier up pops the grief
The problems I have endured from being around an alcoholic in so many.firms are incredulous. Some of those oroblems continue
I have major health issues. I felt having insurance would help. In fact it brings more problems in the form of co pays that a few unexpected
This year the cost of prescription drugs went up
That threw me in January when they began
I have had to adept strategies to deal with them
Furthermore the pandemic has brought all kinds of difficulties in.the form of being isolated, few resources and unreal exkectations. .
Every real stel forward is a step into the unknown. Many many people have had side effects from the vaccine. That is both types of vaccine. Hopefully they will work out what causes the problems
Thank you so much for your share. I have to work on moving forward. Moving forward is a possibility. Moving forward is real
Maresie
Iamhere said
Apr 7, 2021
Thank you Skorpi for your service and for the daily. Thank you all for your shares & ESH. I arrived so serious, I had forgotten how to have any fun as well as how to laugh. I genuinely had no joy and had no idea how negative I was. I would love to share that my brain is better than before, and in some ways it is. However, I am one that still goes to the 'Oh No!' place in my mind when 'life' happens. My first thought is rarely/never my best thought as it's often still based on fear/old habits.
I speak often about the Pause, simply because it's saved me over and over again. When I begin to go 'there', if I can Pause to Pray before I Proceed, outcomes are way better! Finding levity in the middle of chaos has been a gift from recovery. The ability to laugh at myself makes my heart smile. Both of these are new skills for me, as an adult, as I grew up in a very serious, controlling home.
Happy hump day all - hope it's been a great one!!
DavidG said
Apr 7, 2021
Great topic, Skorpi...
...the things we often mention- at the tip of our tongues- is what is coming next, usually. ...
what our Hp places in our way. ...and what I say a lot is about earlier meetings- where I would plan everything I would say and do. Also the responses of other members.
And- of yes! I was always disappointed- but slowly learning to live one day at a time. One time at a time.
The paralysis of analysis, in effect... ...
10 years ago I was invited to speak at local history conference. The organiser was expecting me to chat about some items of local interest. But i came up with a fully annotated paper. [This surprised me as well!]
A few years later he hosted an international conference in our local hall. Typical academic his only support crew was his mum! So I had to pitch in to support them for those three days.
Thinking on our feet becomes second nature, after a while.
Learning to navigate others, who are coming through their middle steps, becomes second nature as well.
I recall those who stood by me through this process- with eternal gratitude! ...
it is a bright sunny day here today. The grape harvest around the valley here is in full swing. Ideal weather.
My SO's birthday today- and she has two days off!
We had a good catch-up sitting out there in the sun.
Life was not always like this at all- it has been a journey! ...
Thanks a lot y'all... ...
-- Edited by DavidG on Wednesday 7th of April 2021 07:45:29 PM
In today's reading, the author reflects on the power of their imagination. Invited to speak at a different meeting, the author conjured up a large group of serious Al-Anon members meeting in a perfect location with a perfect meeting format. The author's role in this visualization was as the guest speaker, uttering a daunting barrage of wise words at the exact right moment in the perfectly planned meeting.
What actually happened was quite different. The author reflects that everything that could have gone wrong did go wrong - the meeting location was temporary, the group small, the secretary a substitute, the scripted format lost. The author decided that their HP had a sense of humor and had substituted enough familiar elements through the spontaneity of the make-shift meeting that the author felt right at home. The author's concepts of the importance of their role and of the meeting itself dissipated, and the author realized that the "important" meeting was just a group of Al-Anon members gathered together in fellowship, doing their best to muddle through and lend each other a helping hand.
Today's Reminder: I give thanks for the ways my Higher Power finds to cut my pretensions down to size. When I can laugh a little, I feel less afraid.
Today's Quote: I want to remember, every time Im tempted to take a heavy, somber view of a happening, that it may not be so bad after all . . . Ill cultivate a knack for recognizing and enjoying humorous moments. One Day at a Time in Al-Anon
------------------
Most of the focus in the reading was on HP having a sense of humor, and how the author's HP helped the author learn not to take themselves and their situation too seriously. What stood out to me was the elaborate and stressful situation the author had built up in their head about being a guest speaker at another meeting. Like the author, I can build future situations up in my head, and worry whether I will be the right person to share my ESH, be a guest speaker, lead a work meeting, or present at a conference. Using my Al-Anon tools has helped me to focus on reality and what is happening right now, what I can do right now, and leave the future to itself. There are things I cannot know, but if I am prepared and feel comfortable in my own skin, then there are very few situations that do not work out. When I focus on myself and the way I am being in various situations, there is very little that can "go wrong" - it might just not go according to my hopes or fears.
When I think back on my learning for this, the most significant event happened at a conference - a global conference for my field. I'd presented at national conferences in my field with various other organizations, and so my expectation for this conference presentation was that I'd be speaking in a room of 20-30 chairs, perhaps 3-15 people. I was ready for really intense and not-so-friendly questions, as is normal in my area of specialty. I felt prepared for that. I'd practiced my presentation, I knew what I wanted to express, I was ready to go. I enjoyed the conference, explored a bit of the city surrounding the conference center, stumbled upon a fantastic restaurant, and connected with some colleagues. The evening before my presentation was set, I decided to locate the room so I could help set my expectations for the presentation. I located the room, which happened to be a ballroom that sat 1,000. I sighed with relief when I realized upon walking into the room that it was divided into several smaller rooms. The main room was HUGE, and at least 500 could sit there. There was a HUGE stage. This couldn't be right. I looked around more, consulted the room information again, and found my way to my specific presentation room. This was much better. only 300 chairs. GULP. Very different from what I expected. I could feel myself starting to spiral into self-doubt, so I pulled out my Al-Anon tools, focused on what was happening at the moment, and went to dinner. I practiced my presentation a few more times, I had notes, but I felt that I wouldn't need to read them. The next day, I found that the room wasn't packed - approximately half the chairs were empty. My presentation went well, I was confident in what I was sharing, and the questions were friendly. I am so glad that I used my tools and worked through my fear, didn't let my imagination talk me into canceling the presentation at the last minute. Many positive opportunities have come as a result of that presentation, and that was really a clearly defining moment in both my Al-Anon program and my career.
Skorpi, thank you for today's reading, your service and ESH.
sense that there is always a
It is such a relief when I find the lighter side of difficult and stressful situation!
I have a tendency to, after the dust settles
greater reason for the way things turn out. I do not know if it is a bonus in
life to be able to do it, but I do feel that, with time, as bad as life can be
there is always a better outcome in the wings.
Dear Skorpi
I had a conversation with my boss yesterday that went well. I was expecting it to be awful
Life can indeed be difficult. At this time it is easier. I have more money. I have resources. I have support (therapy) I have people to talk to who certainly understand ny dilemmas
The irony for some of is is that when things get easier up pops the grief
The problems I have endured from being around an alcoholic in so many.firms are incredulous. Some of those oroblems continue
I have major health issues. I felt having insurance would help. In fact it brings more problems in the form of co pays that a few unexpected
This year the cost of prescription drugs went up
That threw me in January when they began
I have had to adept strategies to deal with them
Furthermore the pandemic has brought all kinds of difficulties in.the form of being isolated, few resources and unreal exkectations. .
Every real stel forward is a step into the unknown. Many many people have had side effects from the vaccine. That is both types of vaccine. Hopefully they will work out what causes the problems
Thank you so much for your share. I have to work on moving forward. Moving forward is a possibility. Moving forward is real
Maresie
I speak often about the Pause, simply because it's saved me over and over again. When I begin to go 'there', if I can Pause to Pray before I Proceed, outcomes are way better! Finding levity in the middle of chaos has been a gift from recovery. The ability to laugh at myself makes my heart smile. Both of these are new skills for me, as an adult, as I grew up in a very serious, controlling home.
Happy hump day all - hope it's been a great one!!
...the things we often mention- at the tip of our tongues- is what is coming next, usually.
...
what our Hp places in our way.
...and what I say a lot is about earlier meetings- where I would plan everything I would say and do. Also the responses of other members.
And- of yes! I was always disappointed- but slowly learning to live one day at a time. One time at a time.
The paralysis of analysis, in effect...
...
10 years ago I was invited to speak at local history conference. The organiser was expecting me to chat about some items of local interest. But i came up with a fully annotated paper. [This surprised me as well!]
A few years later he hosted an international conference in our local hall. Typical academic his only support crew was his mum! So I had to pitch in to support them for those three days.
Thinking on our feet becomes second nature, after a while.
Learning to navigate others, who are coming through their middle steps, becomes second nature as well.
I recall those who stood by me through this process- with eternal gratitude!
...
it is a bright sunny day here today. The grape harvest around the valley here is in full swing. Ideal weather.
My SO's birthday today- and she has two days off!
We had a good catch-up sitting out there in the sun.
Life was not always like this at all- it has been a journey!
...
Thanks a lot y'all...
...
-- Edited by DavidG on Wednesday 7th of April 2021 07:45:29 PM