Judgmental -- The writer of today's page doesn't use that word, but describes a compulsion with focusing on other people, and knowing exactly how other people should behave. By always trying to impose their own rules on others, the writer was neglecting their own life.
We don't know what is best for others, because we don't know what lessons their Higher Power is trying to teach them. Not only did this habit of judgement take away the writer's humility, but it was also a form of denial -- a way to avoid looking at their own life.
Today's reminder: I grow in my ability to relate to others when I allow them to be exactly as they are. The greatest gift I can give to myself is my own attention
-------------------------------
I have to admit, judging others has been one of my character traits. I might not have told you my opinion about what you are doing or saying (I'm too polite for that), but I certainly had one. My judgments brought me a lot of resentment and stress. I was judging and criticizing myself, too. I was sure I knew what I and others "should" do. My higher power is teaching me to let go of my judgments. Often, they are flat-out wrong.
When I first started attending Al-Anon meetings, I met some people whose personalities I didn't like. I judged one person as being bossy and another person as being just too cheerful and enthusiastic. Now, I have learned more about them, I have sought advice from them, and I have great admiration for them. One of them is now my amazing sponsor, and I cherish my time with her.
I judged my alcoholic husband's family as being "not good enough" -- until I had a spiritual awakening and realized they too, just like me, had been affected by the family disease of alcoholism, and I got some compassion.
Looking at myself, improving myself -- has made me less judgmental (I still have my moments!). I think compassion is a lighter weight to carry around than judgment and resentment.
DavidG said
Mar 19, 2021
Thanks for the topic, Freetime.
My way into judgement is through the difference between righteousness and self-righteousness.
Getting into the heart of the serenity prayer- and maybe learning to discern...?
Debb said
Mar 19, 2021
Thanks FreeTime for today's reading/service and to you and David for both your ESH.
I sometimes have a difficult time dealing with AH and close family members
judgmental/biased attitudes/opinions. It is at those times that I have to
remember to mind my own business and detach. It works!! {{SMILES}}
-- Edited by Debb on Friday 19th of March 2021 08:57:03 AM
Lyne said
Mar 19, 2021
Thanks FT for your service and share. It's an important topic, learning how to accept others and self, stop trying to force solutions, live and let live, and let go and let God. It means I have to honestly take my own inventory, and stop taking others'. It also means asking for help, and let the peace of our program grow in me ODAT.
PosiesandPuppies said
Mar 19, 2021
"We don't know what is best for others, because we don't know what lessons their Higher Power is trying to teach them."
Thank you for the reminder, Freetime!
Wishing everyone here on MIP a great Friday!
&
Iamhere said
Mar 19, 2021
Happy Friday MIP. I came from a FOO that always judged others, and we were raised to compete and compare. It truly became an automatic response in me and a long, long standing habit. The urge is still within me and often when I am restless, irritable or discontent, my go-to desire is old habits...I am grateful that our program consistently suggests to me that focusing on me is a much healthier way to act/be/do.
As with most things, I am far from perfect. I do see improvement and am grateful for that. When I am able to use our tools, focus on me, let others be as they are, I truly have much more joy and serenity. I am better able today to accept, embrace and 'roll with' all of us being imperfect, vastly different and each with a unique HP leading the way. I know I have more compassion and grace today than before which calms my spirit. When I can seek to understand, I feel much better as I person vs. before when I was determined to be understood always, first and foremost!
We had a warmer day today, and off to golf I went. It was nice to be outside and I am thrilled that things are popping in in yards, and the grass is greening up - yards, course and beyond. I do get giddy with the renewal that spring brings, so being out and about feels like a blessing on steroids! Happy weekend all - (((hugs))) too!
SunnyFrogs said
Mar 19, 2021
Hi everyone.
I think every person is guilty of judging others whether we admit it or even realize it. It's human nature to do so. I think what's important is what we do with that judgement, do we just accept others for who/what/how they are or do we try to change them,do we say something or keep quiet....
I am working on keeping my judgements to myself and trying to mind my own business, It's hard to do though. Practice practice practice.
Judgmental -- The writer of today's page doesn't use that word, but describes a compulsion with focusing on other people, and knowing exactly how other people should behave. By always trying to impose their own rules on others, the writer was neglecting their own life.
We don't know what is best for others, because we don't know what lessons their Higher Power is trying to teach them. Not only did this habit of judgement take away the writer's humility, but it was also a form of denial -- a way to avoid looking at their own life.
Today's reminder: I grow in my ability to relate to others when I allow them to be exactly as they are. The greatest gift I can give to myself is my own attention
-------------------------------
I have to admit, judging others has been one of my character traits. I might not have told you my opinion about what you are doing or saying (I'm too polite for that), but I certainly had one. My judgments brought me a lot of resentment and stress. I was judging and criticizing myself, too. I was sure I knew what I and others "should" do. My higher power is teaching me to let go of my judgments. Often, they are flat-out wrong.
When I first started attending Al-Anon meetings, I met some people whose personalities I didn't like. I judged one person as being bossy and another person as being just too cheerful and enthusiastic. Now, I have learned more about them, I have sought advice from them, and I have great admiration for them. One of them is now my amazing sponsor, and I cherish my time with her.
I judged my alcoholic husband's family as being "not good enough" -- until I had a spiritual awakening and realized they too, just like me, had been affected by the family disease of alcoholism, and I got some compassion.
Looking at myself, improving myself -- has made me less judgmental (I still have my moments!). I think compassion is a lighter weight to carry around than judgment and resentment.
My way into judgement is through the difference between righteousness and self-righteousness.
Getting into the heart of the serenity prayer- and maybe learning to discern...?
Thanks FreeTime for today's reading/service and to you and David for both your ESH.
I sometimes have a difficult time dealing with AH and close family members
judgmental/biased attitudes/opinions. It is at those times that I have to
remember to mind my own business and detach. It works!! {{SMILES}}
-- Edited by Debb on Friday 19th of March 2021 08:57:03 AM
Thank you for the reminder, Freetime!
Wishing everyone here on MIP a great Friday!
As with most things, I am far from perfect. I do see improvement and am grateful for that. When I am able to use our tools, focus on me, let others be as they are, I truly have much more joy and serenity. I am better able today to accept, embrace and 'roll with' all of us being imperfect, vastly different and each with a unique HP leading the way. I know I have more compassion and grace today than before which calms my spirit. When I can seek to understand, I feel much better as I person vs. before when I was determined to be understood always, first and foremost!
We had a warmer day today, and off to golf I went. It was nice to be outside and I am thrilled that things are popping in in yards, and the grass is greening up - yards, course and beyond. I do get giddy with the renewal that spring brings, so being out and about feels like a blessing on steroids! Happy weekend all - (((hugs))) too!
I think every person is guilty of judging others whether we admit it or even realize it. It's human nature to do so. I think what's important is what we do with that judgement, do we just accept others for who/what/how they are or do we try to change them,do we say something or keep quiet....
I am working on keeping my judgements to myself and trying to mind my own business, It's hard to do though. Practice practice practice.